00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you. Hear I thought, I made myself perfectly clear, But you're. 00:00:17 Speaker 2: A guess to my home. 00:00:21 Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no guests, your own presences presence enough. 00:00:31 Speaker 3: I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare. 00:00:36 Speaker 4: To surbey me? Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Wineger. Oh oh, what's happened in the last twelve hours of my life? I can't even begin I started losing all five rounds of bingo, which was horrible. Then I went to bed, and now I've spilled coffee on two different surfaces. First was it found coffee and Eagle Rock, of course, the unofficial sponsor of the podcast, and I apologize to everyone there. That was humiliating. Then I drove to the studio, saw two separate cyber trucks, and then got to the studio and spilled coffee again. Someone's gonna burst into the studio and just shoot me. Something is wrong, Something's deeply, deeply wrong. So that's what I'm dealing with emotionally. Now what else is going on the well as of recording, we're a month away from the live show. But when you hear this it'll be even closer. I don't know when, but at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn. And we haven't even said on the podcast who's going to be there yet. Look, we've got Bowen Yang, We've got Jeff Hiller, Sydney Washington, and music from Fen Lilly. We've gone too far. I've gone too far with this thing. It's going to be an absolute ball. Google it to get into the show notes. We've got links everywhere for tickets in the live stream. Do whatever you need to do. Who cares, Let's get into the podcast. I adore today's guest. It's Molly McNerney. 00:02:12 Speaker 5: Molly, Hi, I'm so happy to be here on a terrible day for you. 00:02:17 Speaker 4: Maybe you brought this. Maybe maybe your fault. 00:02:20 Speaker 5: Yeah, I like I like your I might get shot today as you and I are sitting in this small, confined space together. 00:02:26 Speaker 2: Can't wait. 00:02:26 Speaker 4: You may be somebody can here to rescue you. Yeah from me? Never just I mean you do have your eyes on the door. My back is to the door right now. 00:02:36 Speaker 2: I'm looking for the exits. Yes, just in case the bad luck continues. 00:02:40 Speaker 4: I'll watch your eyes go wide, and then that'll be the last thing I see I'm so happy to have you here. 00:02:46 Speaker 2: I'm so happy to be here. 00:02:47 Speaker 4: I have a lot i'd like to talk to you about. There is something you were my boss at one point years ago at this point, but there's something I've always wanted to ask you about because it was an int time in my life. I got hired at Jimmy Kimmel Live at the fall of twenty fourteen, September. I think at the time you were on maternity leave. Oh okay, so my first like month and a half of the job, you were not present. We didn't meet, and at this time, to set the table, I was still maybe not outright telling people I was straight, but at least hoping people would assume this information. Okay, do you remember the first time we met. 00:03:28 Speaker 2: I do remember the first time we met. 00:03:30 Speaker 5: Well, first, I'd like to say that I knew of your hiring obviously. I remember Jimmy was a big fan of yours, as was I on Twitter. 00:03:40 Speaker 2: Very sweet and he reached out to. 00:03:42 Speaker 5: You, and then he emailed me and Danny Ricker the other head writer or Gary Grienberger I believe, and said I love this guy on Twitter. 00:03:50 Speaker 2: Well let's meet him. I was on maternity leave. I don't think I met you, right, I did an interview, just. 00:03:54 Speaker 5: Came into right, yes, yes, and then I came back and I met you at the office. 00:04:00 Speaker 4: Not true? 00:04:01 Speaker 2: No, what where did I meet? 00:04:03 Speaker 4: That's why I'm bringing this up. 00:04:04 Speaker 2: Okay, good. 00:04:05 Speaker 4: It was at a Halloween party. And again I'm at this point in history, I'm telling people that I'm at least like completely closeted to everyone and telling people I'm straight. At this Halloween party, I brought a woman with me, and the first time I met you, I was dressed as Anne of green Gables. 00:04:23 Speaker 2: Oh my god, yes that's right. Wait was that sALS Halloween party? 00:04:27 Speaker 4: Who's yes, yes, cousin sALS Halloween party. 00:04:31 Speaker 2: Yes. 00:04:31 Speaker 4: So it was this moment in like very interesting moment in my life, like edge of coming out. But still I cannot believe I was telling people this and still picking costumes like a hand of green Gables for Halloween. 00:04:45 Speaker 2: Yeah, that should have been a sign. Wait. Now, this woman that you brought to the party was as someone you were dating. Okay, so like. 00:04:53 Speaker 4: Very casually, yes, I've seen her, you know, there were years that I didn't see her, but that I ran into her. A couple of years ago at another Halloween party, and the first thing she said to me was the last time I saw you, we were like dating. 00:05:07 Speaker 2: Wow, that's just a jarring feeling totally. 00:05:12 Speaker 5: Wait, so I have to say, I don't recall that that was the first time meeting, but now I can completely picture it and feel it, and I don't remember. 00:05:21 Speaker 2: Is the question, did I know you were gay when I met you? 00:05:24 Speaker 1: No? 00:05:24 Speaker 4: I was just wondering if you had any memory of this, because to me, it was a very distinct meeting. 00:05:30 Speaker 5: Yeah, now I do, I remember it, and I remember thinking, wow, he looks a lot like I knew you from your Twitter profile photo. I think it was a visual I had of you, and it was different obviously when you were dressed on Halloween. 00:05:46 Speaker 4: Right, my Twitter photo looks like kind of like a woman in prison. Yes, I think that my life until that point, people are very confused as to who I was as a person. Very I was a little mysterious, I would say, And I do think a lot of people thought like, this is like, if not a woman in prison, like a very weird looking woman in all denim. Yes, that's the only basically image of me on the internet. 00:06:10 Speaker 2: Right, it's a beautiful. 00:06:12 Speaker 4: It's a gorgeous I love that image. Were you, but I don't feel like you were even in a costume. I feel like this made such an impression was because I knew you were my boss right and it was a first meeting. I was just like, what could she possibly be thinking right now? 00:06:26 Speaker 1: Oh? 00:06:26 Speaker 5: I was delighted. I loved you so much on Twitter. You could have been at that party dressed as anything, and I would have thought it was the greatest costume. 00:06:34 Speaker 2: In the world. But Salowy's had themes for his Halloween party. Was there a theme? 00:06:39 Speaker 4: Because I hope it was Anne of Green Games. I do too. 00:06:43 Speaker 5: He usually had a theme, like I remember one was Hollywood Boulevard. One was too Soon, which was all now you look at it to be canceled for what they were there. There was all sorts of themes. I wonder if there was a theme that there usually. 00:06:55 Speaker 4: Is one Prince Edward Island. 00:06:57 Speaker 2: Yeah, we have to go back and see if there was a theme. I'll ask Sally. He has an impeccable memory. 00:07:01 Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't imagine mine was on theme. 00:07:05 Speaker 2: There's no way that made it into a theme. 00:07:09 Speaker 4: I don't know, Yeah, I don't. I don't even know. I mean, obviously love an of green Gables. Other than that, I thought, I guess. I think I was probably out of costumes of other redheaded people at that point that I wanted to be, and that was I think that was probably my Mount Everest. 00:07:28 Speaker 2: Now do you dress up every year for Halloween? 00:07:29 Speaker 3: Do you? 00:07:30 Speaker 2: No? 00:07:31 Speaker 4: I actually hate it. 00:07:32 Speaker 2: Do you do? 00:07:32 Speaker 4: Do you dress up? 00:07:33 Speaker 2: I do? 00:07:36 Speaker 5: My husband hates it, so it makes it kind of hard, But I used to. I loved it as a kid, and my kids now love it, so I feel like I should dress up for them because I grew up My mom always dressed up, and I always thought that was cool. 00:07:50 Speaker 4: Right. Do you do corresponding outfits with your kids? No costumes, not. 00:07:54 Speaker 2: Out Yeah, no, I don't do that. 00:07:56 Speaker 4: No. 00:07:56 Speaker 2: And we don't do like the white T shirt and the denim photo on the beach either. 00:08:01 Speaker 3: Ye. 00:08:01 Speaker 2: No, we don't yet. No, not into the whole matching thing. 00:08:06 Speaker 5: But it's hard because Jimmy hates to dress up, so you can't. 00:08:11 Speaker 2: You can't do anything with him, right. 00:08:13 Speaker 5: I usually just added like a witch or something lame last minute, just make do it for the kids. 00:08:18 Speaker 4: Tam was a witch every year she was it's a great costume. Everyone should just be a witch for hell, witch, I agree, everyone looks great in the costume that you throw the hat on and any level of black clothing. 00:08:30 Speaker 2: You're a witch right on the and then you can do whatever. 00:08:32 Speaker 4: You want with the makeup. You don't even have to have makeup. 00:08:34 Speaker 2: No, but you really respect when someone does. 00:08:37 Speaker 4: Oh if they go for it. Do you wear makeup? 00:08:40 Speaker 2: I haven't done a while. On Halloween, make a big green I would. I will tell you every Halloween, I say to myself. Next year, I'm gonna get serious about this. 00:08:50 Speaker 5: Oh, of course, because I look around at parties or even just out torturing my. 00:08:54 Speaker 2: Kids and I think, why didn't I put a little effort into this? And it's always like the day before Halloween. 00:08:57 Speaker 5: I'm scrambling and I swear and I'm not going to do this next year, and I'll put an alarm on my phone like for October first reminder, start thinking about it, and I ignore it, and then I'm the same predicament every year. 00:09:10 Speaker 4: October first is not enough time. I feel like you do have to think about it for six months if you're going to have a decent concept. 00:09:16 Speaker 2: Totally now, I do it for my kids. 00:09:17 Speaker 5: Like, I'll get on Etsy, and I always imagine these women on Etsy getting so mad at everyone requesting these custom costumes at the last minute. 00:09:26 Speaker 4: I'm sure. 00:09:27 Speaker 5: And now I get into this whole thing where I when I'm buying something on Etsy, I want to know as much as I can about the person selling them. 00:09:35 Speaker 2: Oh, and I'm like, who am I supporting? Where's my money going? 00:09:38 Speaker 4: I've never thought about this. 00:09:39 Speaker 2: Yeah, I get really crazy about it, but it's really hard to tell. 00:09:42 Speaker 4: How are you finding out the information about these Etsy sellers? 00:09:44 Speaker 5: Well, it's really hard to do. Sometimes you can't really get a last name sometimes and if I DM with them, you can sometimes get their name, and then I'll try to do a quick Google search like or are they on Facebook? And is my money going to like storm the capitol? Like I just you know, I like to know to know what's going on, But it's really hard to find real information. 00:10:03 Speaker 4: When both of your kids requested to be like a patriotic eagle for Halloween, ran, it's some difficult sellers exactly. Wow, that's a that's an interesting idea. I've never really considered that, but yeah, you can really end up buying from some dangerous people, I imagine. 00:10:17 Speaker 5: Yeah, I just want to make sure I'm not buying my kid's costume from someone who's trying to take the rights away. 00:10:21 Speaker 2: It is simple. 00:10:23 Speaker 4: Have you ever found any bad Eggs? 00:10:24 Speaker 2: No, but I've sniffed it. 00:10:25 Speaker 5: I'm like, ooh, this is feeling like it could be bad, So I'm going to go with the other lady. 00:10:30 Speaker 2: Like, you could always find. 00:10:31 Speaker 5: A competitor selling a costume, and it might not be exactly the one you want, right, but you feel. 00:10:35 Speaker 2: A little better worth purchase. 00:10:37 Speaker 4: It's worth it when you know that you're yeah, yeah, wow, I've never thought about Etsy for a Halloween costume. 00:10:43 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's the place to go. But go early. They will charge you thirty dollars. 00:10:49 Speaker 4: To ship it if you Oh course. 00:10:51 Speaker 5: Yeah. 00:10:51 Speaker 4: And is it like buy request or do they have different options? 00:10:55 Speaker 2: It's well, I just put in the name of what I want. 00:10:58 Speaker 5: So, like, my daughter wanted to be Wednesday from Adams Family last year, right, should I just put in Wednesday costume for kid eight her size? And then you get a variety of options from different sellers. 00:11:11 Speaker 4: Oh, this is incredible. 00:11:12 Speaker 2: Some of them are some. 00:11:13 Speaker 5: Of them are like putting clearly like getting stuff on Amazon and just turning it on Etsy, which I don't like. 00:11:18 Speaker 2: I like to feel like it's actually been made in someone's home. 00:11:21 Speaker 4: Mm hmm. No, I've just uh, maybe I've watched a YouTube about this. I don't know why, but about how Etsy's kind of getting ruined by these that sort of person where they basically will show a custom item but it's not actually their item, and then they just have like essentially a factory in China sent it to you like Amazon. 00:11:37 Speaker 2: No, I want it being made in like a living room in Ohio. 00:11:39 Speaker 4: Of course. I want it to smell like a basement. Exactly, please exactly if it smells clean like plastic, No, it. 00:11:45 Speaker 2: Comes in plastic. It's not homemade. 00:11:47 Speaker 4: No, that fabric better be from Joe An. 00:11:49 Speaker 5: I want to smell a little bit of a cigarette on it. 00:11:52 Speaker 4: It's just ashed all over. Do you know what they're gonna be for Halloween this year? 00:11:58 Speaker 2: Yeah? Boring. My daughter wants to be a cat, which I've tried to talk about it boring. It's a classic cost it's classic. And then my son wants to be he already already purchased them Grim Reaper. Oh, he's a little obsessed with death, so that should be fun. 00:12:13 Speaker 4: How old is he now? 00:12:14 Speaker 2: He's seven. 00:12:15 Speaker 4: That's the age I think when you become obsessed with death, isn't. 00:12:17 Speaker 5: It totally He asked me questions about death on a regular basis. 00:12:21 Speaker 4: Yeah, I remember like first second grade, like starting to become obsessed with death, and then being at the pediatrician's office and they had like an illustration for parents that was like, at this age they become obsessed with dying. 00:12:32 Speaker 2: Really. 00:12:32 Speaker 5: Yeah, that's well, it's good to know because it's completely true and parents need to be like prepared. 00:12:37 Speaker 4: How has that manifested itself? 00:12:39 Speaker 5: Well, he lays in bed at night and asks me things like he goes, when I go up to Heaven, are they going to have burritos up there? And I'm like like that type of that's the type of valid question. Yeah, he wants to know, like what what is eating up there? Who's going to be up there? 00:12:54 Speaker 2: What kind of like all his stuffed animals get to be up there? Things like that. So twenty presumptuous, he assumes he's going. 00:12:59 Speaker 4: To a Yeah, by the way, horse, come, we don't know. You've got a whole horrible life ahead of him. Absolutely he could make a lot of bad choices. 00:13:07 Speaker 5: You could be in purgatory by like third grade. We don't know, but yeah he does. He asks a lot of questions about that and our son. It freaked me out because you know, he had a open heart surgery. He's had three of them in his short little life, and he's totally fine and healthy and miraculous and he'll love a wonderful, full life. But he asks, like, right before his last surgery, he was asking a lot about heaven. 00:13:31 Speaker 4: And it's freaking me out. 00:13:33 Speaker 5: It's like, dude, please stop talking about death. He's like, it's gonna be okay when I die, because it's gonna be fun up. 00:13:38 Speaker 2: There and there's gonna be no pain. I'm like, okay, what boy? Yeah, so that was fun. 00:13:44 Speaker 4: Where do kids get Like, who provides the first information about death to a child? Is it TV? Oh that's a great question, older siblings. 00:13:54 Speaker 2: I don't many books. Oh, interesting books are cartoons? 00:13:59 Speaker 4: Right? Really? 00:14:00 Speaker 5: Every Disney movie has somebody dies, like the first five minutes up right, just traumatic. 00:14:06 Speaker 4: Very true. 00:14:07 Speaker 2: There's a lot of death in kids movies. 00:14:10 Speaker 4: Always a villain falling from a cliff or something. Yeah, run over by a train, interesting, Yeah, and I wonder. I guess there's just some point where your intelligence and the world around you click and you're like, oh yeah, this can happen to me. Yeah, oh yeah, then it just haunts you for I mean, for the rest of elementary school. I'm just like avoiding death at all comes. 00:14:29 Speaker 2: Are you afraid of death? 00:14:31 Speaker 4: At the time, my two big fears were getting a tapeworm, dying of a tapeworm, or rabies. 00:14:39 Speaker 2: Awesome, Well did those Where did those come from? Did you hear a story. 00:14:42 Speaker 4: The rabies came from? Well? I had a rat in first grade because I was obsessed with ninja turtles. My mom wouldn't allow for whatever reason, she decided a turtle wasn't appropriate, but a rat would be fine. Splinter and that's what my rat became. That's what it was name. But it escaped into our garage and we all it became rabid. My brother shot it to death with a be begun. My apologies to the listener. Oh no, the world I grew up, Oh no, But so that was the first thing where I was like, oh, an animal can become rabbit and spread disease. Okay, the tape worm. God only knows it must have come from a sibling. But I was afraid. I was deathitely afraid of eating like raw bacon, all these things, right, and then having this worm just living in me. 00:15:22 Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a terrifying visual for a child. I was afraid of being kidnapped. 00:15:27 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I mean that's a curial classes. 00:15:29 Speaker 5: I think that was I think there were too many like movies and TV shows. 00:15:33 Speaker 2: Or kidnapping occurred. Maybe in the eighties. I feel like there were the headlines of kids being kidnapped maybe. 00:15:40 Speaker 4: Right, Is that still like a thing that is a real concern, like in elementary schools. 00:15:45 Speaker 5: Not to my kids. They don't have a fear of being kidnapped. I wish they would, you know, a little more fear. They are more afraid of robbers about it because someone broke in, like down the street and driving school and I saw cops in a helicopter and they asked me what. 00:16:01 Speaker 2: That was about. 00:16:02 Speaker 5: Oh, like, oh, I think maybe there was a robber, and now everything's about robbers. 00:16:06 Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I think that that's kind of natural to life from Los Angeles. 00:16:10 Speaker 2: Yes, agreed, Because we're. 00:16:11 Speaker 4: Growing up in another set. You're not hearing a helicopter every single night. No, I think I hadn't heard really a helicopter until I moved to La Same and now it's literally just a fact of life. 00:16:21 Speaker 3: It is. 00:16:22 Speaker 5: I remember when I lived in West Hollywood and I was working for the show, and that was right when Paris Hilton was in and out of jail, and it was just the sound of helicopters constantly, oh. 00:16:32 Speaker 2: Just following her around. 00:16:35 Speaker 5: So then when I think of when I hear helicopter, I think of Paris Hilton. It's a lovely memory. 00:16:44 Speaker 4: When you were afraid of kidnappers as a kid, we like in my elementary school, there was always like warnings of like look out for this sort of car. I remember people being like look out for the junkie green call. 00:16:53 Speaker 5: Yes, you always have assumed it was like an unmarked van with no windows like kidnapper vans. 00:16:59 Speaker 4: Right, And I feel like that's just probably simply wasn't true. It's probably like a new model for uh, what is a Ford Escort? 00:17:07 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally total Ford Escar. 00:17:10 Speaker 4: It wasn't like a nineteen seventy like a classic green car driving around snatching kids. 00:17:15 Speaker 2: Now, did that come from Scooby Doo or something? Well, they had they must have. 00:17:19 Speaker 5: I feel like, yeah, I don't know. I'm having like a visual of a green I know they had their van, right the. 00:17:27 Speaker 4: Van, and yeah, there are a bunch of other like kind of boat style cars in that kind of cartoon, But I don't I mean, no one was ever kidnapped within our neighborhood by a junkie green car. 00:17:37 Speaker 2: You know, but you don't know any you know, you don't know where those kids went. 00:17:42 Speaker 4: That's very, very true. We had a lot of missing children. 00:17:45 Speaker 2: I'm in Utah. 00:17:47 Speaker 4: Yes, no, I didn't get kidnapped. I didn't get a tape for them, and I never got rabies. Congratulations, Thank you so much. I'm open to all three at this point. 00:17:56 Speaker 2: Okay, what are your fears now? 00:17:59 Speaker 4: I don't really have any, Like, yeah, that's it. My fears now are more about the people in my life rather than myself. 00:18:06 Speaker 2: Which, hey, you look at you. That's good. You've grown up. 00:18:10 Speaker 4: I'm an adult now. I'm an adult that's happy to die. 00:18:15 Speaker 5: Yeah, you're you're fine with all these to you, You're ready to put out of your misery. 00:18:19 Speaker 4: But I'm trying to think of like actual one thing I do have a fear of is like this, weird irrational fear of like being in a space where like I raise my head up quickly and a nail goes through my head. Like wow, I have like this weird impalement fear. 00:18:32 Speaker 5: Really yeah, you lift your head up and a nail goes through it, right, like it's nailed on a wall behind, like a. 00:18:38 Speaker 4: Loose nail coming out of board or something. There's something very visceral and terrifying about that. 00:18:43 Speaker 2: Is that new? 00:18:44 Speaker 4: No, that's been a long time thing that like since a kid, Like we would do a lot of work around the house. And I think that helping my dad and being like in the attic or whatever, I think there's some fear of like it's gonna happen. 00:18:54 Speaker 2: That makes sense. 00:18:55 Speaker 4: There's gonna be a nail in my brain. 00:18:57 Speaker 5: Right, and now you're doing so much of that around your own absolutely zero, And I thought thoughts that I think you can let that fear go. 00:19:07 Speaker 2: I have a feeling you're. 00:19:08 Speaker 4: Not worth That's when it gets you. Yeah, right, when you least expect. 00:19:11 Speaker 2: Exactly that's true. You're right. You got to keep your guard up. 00:19:13 Speaker 4: When you're simply incapable of home improvement, that's when it gets the Nail comes story. Do you have any fears like this? 00:19:20 Speaker 2: I don't think I do. 00:19:22 Speaker 5: I just have a recurring dream constantly. I know that's very common, that I'm in college and I realize, oh my god, I didn't study for a test. 00:19:31 Speaker 2: It still happens. 00:19:32 Speaker 5: Still, Yeah, still do that, And still have this dream that I'm in a class and I realized it's the last day and I haven't been this whole time and it's the final. 00:19:41 Speaker 4: Oh no, Yeah, how was that still haunting? 00:19:43 Speaker 2: I don't know. 00:19:44 Speaker 4: I wonder if it's work. Yeah, having to wake up every morning and have answers to Yeah, I mean like writing jokes kind of feels like homeworks totally. 00:19:53 Speaker 2: You have to have it ideas every morning, right right? Yeah, that maybe that is it. 00:19:57 Speaker 5: And then I always have a fear that I didn't take my birth from pill and I have not been on the birth control pill for twenty years or something, and I wake up like, oh, I forgot to take it, and I'm like, oh, I don't have to. I don't have to do that anymore. 00:20:09 Speaker 4: What a weird built in fear. Yeah, but I guess you just are so terrified of that for such a long time. 00:20:15 Speaker 5: Yeah, And it's like a thing you feel like you forgot to take it, and if you do, then that could be problematic. 00:20:20 Speaker 4: I don't know, right, Wow, Yeah, I don't have any recurring dreams anymore. I had them a lot as a kid. But I guess the nail thing is the one big and then I'm gonna I am going to die behind the wheel knock. 00:20:31 Speaker 2: I mean, oh no. 00:20:34 Speaker 4: Near car accidents I almost caused today alone, probably eleven. 00:20:37 Speaker 2: You're a terrible driver. 00:20:39 Speaker 4: I'm getting worse you are. I'm getting so much for us. 00:20:42 Speaker 1: Oh. 00:20:42 Speaker 4: No, do you feel like you're a steady quality driver. 00:20:45 Speaker 2: I do. I think I'm a pretty steady quality driver. 00:20:47 Speaker 5: I will say I'm a competitive driver, though, and I get a little impatient, and I realized I'm going to get myself in trouble. But right, maybe you should maybe the self driving cars in your future. 00:20:58 Speaker 4: Oh, but that's scary. I don't trust any of these Silicon Valley people to be behind the wheel either. 00:21:05 Speaker 2: No, I don't either. 00:21:06 Speaker 5: But I do think that you probably have a greater chance of being in an accident if you're behind the wheel. 00:21:13 Speaker 4: Yeah. Possibly, maybe I am worse than a robot. 00:21:16 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're sure. I've always said that about you, You're worse than a robot. 00:21:21 Speaker 4: I want that to be spread around. That's to start. 00:21:24 Speaker 2: I'm going to start. 00:21:27 Speaker 4: No, I think what's kind of contributing to it are two things. First of all, my boyfriend Jim is constantly telling me I'm a bad driver. Okay, And then I've taken off Whenever I use Google Maps, I take off freeways. I unless I really have to use a freeway, guess where, I will only do surface streets. So then when I'm on freeways at this point, I'm very out of my element. Okay, And essentially, like a senior citizen driver, I'm very slow. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm missing exits. 00:21:56 Speaker 2: So when you and Jim go somewhere he drives. 00:21:58 Speaker 4: He demands, ye lease let me drive. Why because occasionally he'll complain, I like, I have to drive, drive everywhere, like I offer every single time. 00:22:09 Speaker 5: Jimmy loves to drive, and I love to be a passenger. Great, perfect, Yes, I love to be a passenger. 00:22:14 Speaker 4: Yeah, I love to be a passenger. I also love to drive alone. If you do, I do like because you get into like a flow state sort of thing where you're like concentrating enough. 00:22:23 Speaker 2: You're a better driver when you're alone. 00:22:25 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, okay, Oh my god. If if I am driving and Jim is in the passenger seat, we are in three times as much dangerous because he's constantly like gasping or be like you're gonna kill us. 00:22:36 Speaker 2: Okay, that sounds really fun. 00:22:37 Speaker 5: Now are you guys? Do you agree on the same things to listen to in the car? 00:22:42 Speaker 4: Ah, that's a really good question. I am kind of in control because I have better taste. I simply have better taste in music than he does. 00:22:52 Speaker 2: Would he agree with that statement? 00:22:54 Speaker 4: He would? I think he probably would. He would say probably, I know more about within popular music. I have a better grasp of everything. A lot of the music I listen to he doesn't want to listen to because, in fairness, it's loud and obnoxious. But the other half of the music I listened to he's on board with. So I'm basically the DJ. Do you, guys, I can't imagine you too get along. 00:23:19 Speaker 5: You see, there's an eleven year difference, and he is all about if we're at ugimmy to be yacht rock all day, every day, And I like to listen to things that are a little more current. Sure, I have all respect for the yacht rock, but there's only so much. Like Hollin Oates and Michael McDonald. I'm like, okay, I got it man. And he also has a harmon. He has a multiple harmonicas that he keeps on the what's this called? 00:23:44 Speaker 2: Yuh thank you? He keeps multiple harmonicas on the visor and then plays the harmonica while driving. And it's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. 00:23:56 Speaker 6: That is dangerous behavior, dangerous. It's he's practicing, so it's not exactly arable, and it's hell, it's. 00:24:07 Speaker 2: My hell on earth? 00:24:08 Speaker 4: Is it every drive? Mostly Yeah, he's playing along to the music on the car. 00:24:12 Speaker 5: Yeah, oh sure, Oh Billy Joeld piano man, that one actually is good. He can do that one really well. But then he'll just add harmonica to songs that have no harmonica. 00:24:22 Speaker 4: When did this behavior begin? 00:24:24 Speaker 2: Too long ago? 00:24:26 Speaker 5: A guy would say, eight to ten years ago? 00:24:30 Speaker 4: Oh no, yeah, what are you going to find an instrument for you to play? 00:24:33 Speaker 5: I have to tell you no, I have to tell you the beginning, I've thought, Oh, this is charming, this is cute. He's like learning, and he's not he's learning he knows, and I'm like, oh, he's practicing an instrument in the car. What a multitasker. And now I can barely stand it because it's just really loud. 00:24:47 Speaker 2: It's all his years in radio. 00:24:50 Speaker 5: He's kind of he is like partially, Oh sure, everything, everything for him has to be so much louder. And I'm very sensitive to noise. Okay, And yeah it's not a good combo. 00:24:59 Speaker 3: Is he? 00:25:00 Speaker 4: Do you have one of those little things like that, like Neil Young? Oh? 00:25:02 Speaker 2: Yes he does, Yes, he does. 00:25:04 Speaker 5: He wears it around his neck and he holds this so the harmonica holds out in front of his mouth as he drives, and then he puts. 00:25:12 Speaker 2: It in when he's ready. 00:25:13 Speaker 4: To me, it's incredible. 00:25:16 Speaker 2: Yeah, it is divorce. 00:25:18 Speaker 4: It is simply divorce. 00:25:19 Speaker 2: Reconcilable difference right there, the harmonica. 00:25:22 Speaker 4: Wow. Wow, I I mean, I don't even know what to say. I mean, when that does lead to a car accident, that's gonna be all over the news. 00:25:29 Speaker 2: I know, I can't I kind of can't wait. I mean, I wanted to be like a little one. 00:25:32 Speaker 4: Yeah, just like a minor, like you rear in somebody and then you have to explain you were playing the harm I want. 00:25:37 Speaker 5: A shot of him getting out of the car with that like thing around his neck. 00:25:41 Speaker 4: Yes, I'm going to buy you a recorder. You can have that in the glove bar. 00:25:45 Speaker 2: Oh that's a great idea. That's a great look. 00:25:48 Speaker 4: I think you too could have a little bay and I should. 00:25:50 Speaker 5: Break out an instrument like, Hey, that's the best way to get him to stop. 00:25:55 Speaker 4: Break out an instrument on an airplane. Yeah, take this to a whole new level. I mean, well, speaking of totally inappropriate behavior. Look, I was looking forward to having you here on the podcast today, Molly. I thought, we'll have a great time, we'll talk about all kinds of things, and then we'll go home, everyone feeling their best. Everyone feeling their best. So look, you texted me before you got to the studio, and you've said, very sweetly, at least in the moment, would you like any Poqito moss, the Mexican food? And I said no. And then on my drive here, I started thinking why would Molly offer this? And then I started to realizing maybe she's done something wrong, maybe she's already trying to make up for some mistake she's made. And so I was it all kind of came together. The podcast is called I said no gifts. Let's just we all know that you've got the emails and you show up to the studio holding a gift. Yes, And so clearly this offer of food was not just some good thing, good deed. It was ute trying to cover your tracks. Obviously, this is a gift. 00:27:03 Speaker 2: For me, yes, I okay, listen. I don't believe it when people say no gifts. 00:27:09 Speaker 5: And in fact, when I was married, when I got married, I am still married and married for eleven years. This was my first wedding, this was my second, my husband's second wedding, and he has a nice amount of money, and he said on the wedding invitation, no gifts, sure, which seemed like totally the right thing to do, right right, But I didn't like it, and I didn't want people to actually take it seriously, and they almost all did. 00:27:35 Speaker 2: And I don't like no gifts. 00:27:38 Speaker 5: When people say no gifts, I see that as an invitation to bring again. I mean, I spent my twenties like spending my whole bank account will go to like Creighton Barrel and Williams Sonoma and all the other places I had to buy wedding gifts. And then it was my day and it was no gifts, and I got nothing, and I don't like no gifts. 00:27:55 Speaker 2: So here is yours. 00:27:56 Speaker 4: That's a rough feeling. Well that does feel like justified? Be this is fully justified? Should I open it here on the podcast? 00:28:03 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:28:03 Speaker 4: I think so. Okay, let's get into it here. It's this beautiful white polka dot box. 00:28:11 Speaker 2: You call that the like TV rappings that we call it. You know, when you give a gift on. 00:28:15 Speaker 5: A TV show, like on a late night show that I work for, you have to have the lid that pops off. You can't actually wrap it because it causes too much. 00:28:22 Speaker 4: Noise, huge amount of noise, a little inside and look at this, you're just going to listener is just gonna hear the slip of the ribbon. That's it. 00:28:31 Speaker 2: Now we're as somewhere. 00:28:32 Speaker 4: Yeah, that really is ribbon off box asa more. Okay, Oh my god, what is this? 00:28:39 Speaker 2: It's your packet? 00:28:40 Speaker 4: Oh my god? 00:28:42 Speaker 2: Oh my is Bridger packet? 00:28:46 Speaker 5: There is no he sent us in twenty fourteen, when Jimmy asked him to submit to be a writer on Jimmy Kimmelive. 00:28:54 Speaker 2: This is and I've saved it. 00:28:55 Speaker 4: Absolutely mortified. 00:28:57 Speaker 3: I know, I. 00:29:00 Speaker 2: Understand why you say no gifts. 00:29:03 Speaker 4: I mean, there's literally no way I will share this information anywhere. Well, I mean, the first thing that's really horrifying to me is that the first page starts with a resume, which I like that it's professional. 00:29:19 Speaker 5: By the way, there's one word on that resume that immediately got you a job interview. 00:29:23 Speaker 2: And that that word is Letterman. Oh of course, yeah, you interned it Letterman. Is that correct? 00:29:28 Speaker 4: Yes, I interned at Letterman in two thousand and nine, which David Letterman. I love that Jimmy Kimmel and I share, I think deeply. Yes. So I mean, oh my god, I cannot believe I'm looking. 00:29:41 Speaker 2: At You're sweating right now. 00:29:42 Speaker 4: I might quit the business, give absolutely, That's what I was afraid. The only thing that the listener will see of this is me burning it. 00:29:52 Speaker 5: Do you know what I tried. I'm probably going to get in the mail tomorrow. 00:29:57 Speaker 2: On Etsy, I found paper that has seeds in it. You know that you can plant and then grow flowers. 00:30:03 Speaker 5: And that's my goal was to print it on that so you could go bury it and grow flowers. And I am going to still do that for you, and I'll send it to to your home so you can bury your packet and let it grow fruit. 00:30:15 Speaker 4: Yeah, for the listener. You know, when you try to get a job at a late night show, I don't even I don't even know if this is how you currently you gut probably still do kind of You have to submit basically just jokes who created out of thin air to the show, and it's a I will say, kind of a trap. Yeah, because it's an interesting thing where you have to shoot for the voice of the show but also show who you are totally and it kind of ends up being a nearly impossible task. 00:30:45 Speaker 2: So you did a really good job at it. 00:30:47 Speaker 4: I cannot imagine. 00:30:49 Speaker 5: This is what the beauty of your packet is that you did exactly that you understood the voice of the show, but also. 00:30:56 Speaker 2: Brought this totally. 00:30:57 Speaker 5: There's an Oprah joke in there that's the funniest things I've ever read. 00:31:01 Speaker 2: Oh my god, you wrote so well. It's totally it's like a perfect packet. 00:31:07 Speaker 4: Read it. Yes, Oh, they have to beat this out. I will leave the business. 00:31:11 Speaker 5: Okay, No, there are some good there's a there are two bits in there that are so they made me laugh out loud today, which is ten years later. And the goal usually for a submission packet is so that writers show that they can write timely jokes and then bits it in the voice of the show, but also feel original. And you did a lot of the topical news jokes and then like the last two pages, that's what it's like. 00:31:35 Speaker 2: We're Bridger shines. It's like full Bridger jokes. 00:31:39 Speaker 4: I cannot believe what I'm looking at. I'm so sorry to everyone listening because this just me my bones just shattering. 00:31:46 Speaker 2: Now, melting down right now. 00:31:48 Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm having I'm like shaking. Oh. 00:31:50 Speaker 2: I feel terrible. What a terrible gift, but also wonderful. I love it. He is a great peck. Can let me read a joke in there? Get handed to me, let me look. 00:32:01 Speaker 4: I'm looking at this for another moment. I am just oh my god, I'm just have you looked. 00:32:07 Speaker 2: At your I mean, I assume like you wrote that. I haven't looked at since. 00:32:10 Speaker 4: I mean, of course, especially with the late night packet, where you're like when you do it, you're like, I don't and then when you don't, get like you don't hear anything. You're just you're like, I'll never look at that again, right, And even when you do, you're like, I don't want to know what my boss saw. Like it's like your boss saw you naked. 00:32:29 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, I know. 00:32:31 Speaker 4: I would rather my boss see meaning I will. 00:32:33 Speaker 5: Say, I told so I told the room that Jimmy kimme alive yesterday in a writer room, I thought I was bringing the packet and they all gasp but then laugh and like that's great and terrible at the same time. 00:32:43 Speaker 2: So I understand what you're feeling right now. 00:32:45 Speaker 5: I think it's universally felt among every writer right now listening to this feeling a little itchy. 00:32:50 Speaker 4: I wish that the gunman that I had mentioned at the beginning of the episode had gotten here a little earlier. 00:32:56 Speaker 2: I was just gonna say, you know, you were right about this day. It is getting worse. I'm sorry, sorry that I was part of that. 00:33:03 Speaker 4: Okay, I have found the Oprah joke. 00:33:04 Speaker 2: It's such a funny joke. 00:33:05 Speaker 4: Okay, I will say, this is not a bad, cute, funny joke. 00:33:09 Speaker 2: I love this joke. 00:33:10 Speaker 4: This is it's almost like a yeah, I guess I did like topical jokes and then just like weird joke ish things. It wouldn't be like on the show. 00:33:18 Speaker 5: This is not a traditional late night writer packet joke. It is a very bridger joke. But I will say you did a page of the topical type of set up news story punch like punchline, and then you just had fun with jokes like. 00:33:31 Speaker 4: These got okay. So it's in quotes. It's a quote that says Tomorrow on Oprah, and then the it's attributed to Oprah picking out Tomorrow's outfit. It's so good, it's very stupid. 00:33:43 Speaker 2: I love it. I love that joke. It's such a good joke. 00:33:47 Speaker 4: I am. I mean, I'm still just the fact that my resume is on the front of this. 00:33:51 Speaker 2: I know, when's the last time you wrote a resume? Probably? 00:33:54 Speaker 4: Then that's the weird thing about this industry is like any other business. And that's why I probably got every other industry good, because you actually have to submit resumes and be a normal person, right this one. Once you get a job, you never think about a resume again. 00:34:07 Speaker 2: Never remember, like in. 00:34:08 Speaker 5: Like college, things like stressful, like I have to know exactly how like how to do a resume, and then I remember taking on extracurriculars, specifically for my resume, ne to pad it out. 00:34:20 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like a yearbook and spirit club and like all this. 00:34:24 Speaker 4: Bush and those are all right here. I've got spirit club, cheerleader. 00:34:29 Speaker 2: Are all there. 00:34:31 Speaker 4: I mean it goes this goes back to me working. I mean, I'm like telling Jimmy Kimmel, I worked at overstock dot com. Why would anyone at the show care about that? 00:34:40 Speaker 2: I care? 00:34:41 Speaker 4: I love it. 00:34:42 Speaker 2: Well, it's gone now, right, So. 00:34:43 Speaker 4: Did you put on a story about overstock dot com they bought bed Bath and Beyond right changed completely to they said, we're now bed Bath and Beyond. That lasted one year and now they're back to being Overstock dot Com really still own bed Bath and Beyond. The Beyond is gone, right, the real like the true original bed Bath and Beyond is dead, but they resurrected it and tried to become it and then that I guess that probably didn't work out or it was like I'm sure, I'm. 00:35:11 Speaker 2: Sure online only because didn't all the bed Bath and Beyond closed online only because I still have a lot of those coup of course I need to get. 00:35:17 Speaker 3: Rid of it. 00:35:17 Speaker 4: That's all. Anyone has from bed, Bath and Beyond, I know, and that's like when it's only online, people are like, well I wanted the coupon, right, So I think any branding like expert what I have been able to tell the people Overstock like, first of all, people know the name of your business, right, so don't change it completely. And second of all, you're you're becoming a business that went out of business. 00:35:39 Speaker 2: Yeah that's very confusing. 00:35:40 Speaker 4: So yeah, blew up in their face. Yeah of course if I had been. 00:35:44 Speaker 5: There, Yeah, well yeah, if you had, you know, instead of writing opra jokes stuck with overstock dot com, maybe you could have saved it. 00:35:52 Speaker 4: But yeah, then it's got my I mean, I'm also I have my professional skills on here you do? 00:35:58 Speaker 2: What are they? 00:35:58 Speaker 4: I didn't see those in Microsoft Office, Adobe Creative Suite. Online resources. What does that even mean? I can use the internet Google stuff? 00:36:07 Speaker 2: What does all my resource? 00:36:10 Speaker 5: That's like you ask someone like how to make I can google? Like, how does that sound? More professional? 00:36:16 Speaker 2: Online online resource. 00:36:20 Speaker 4: That is not a skill strong writing and editing experience in various genres. That's at the time simply not true. 00:36:28 Speaker 2: Right, I mean, like your genres you're at Letterman and. 00:36:33 Speaker 4: Craig Fergus not what are we talking about? Extensive knowledge in both Windows and Mac operating systems. 00:36:40 Speaker 2: Good, because a good late night writer needs those. 00:36:45 Speaker 4: And then just general office and organizational skills. 00:36:49 Speaker 2: That's wonderful. 00:36:50 Speaker 4: You need me to buy paper clips or refill the fridge? 00:36:53 Speaker 2: Yeah, what we needed from you? This is just great. 00:36:58 Speaker 4: This is I'm like, I feel like I'm string into the sun. I'm just going absolutely blind. 00:37:02 Speaker 5: Look, I will say, you physically changed when you open that package, Like I really it's like saying ghost. 00:37:08 Speaker 2: It really did. 00:37:09 Speaker 5: I feel like you started melting a little bit. I'm sorry, and I'm also delighted I have brought you back to the past. 00:37:17 Speaker 4: My Twitter follower count did grow, so that's good. Okay, great, this was before the website became an absolute hell. 00:37:26 Speaker 2: I love God. 00:37:26 Speaker 5: He used to love you on Twitter, and I don't go on there anymore. So I'm sorry if I'm not. 00:37:32 Speaker 4: I'm not tweeting. Yeah, I mean nobody. I mean you get on there and it's just like racist and horrible psychos. 00:37:38 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I should not be. 00:37:40 Speaker 4: I get on there. I tweet out the link to the podcast, so here you go, and then I and then you get out, get out of there. But people are still apparently using it. 00:37:48 Speaker 2: I know, I'm very confused by that. It used to be so fun. 00:37:51 Speaker 5: He's just going there and just I love the I mean you and like Rob Delaney, like Megan Amram, just like reading people's great jokes ever day. 00:38:00 Speaker 2: It was happy. 00:38:01 Speaker 4: It was kind of like a miracle. I mean, especially for somebody like me who had literally no industry connections, or like when I moved to Los Angeles, knew nobody here, and it was like immediately this built in thing that I could at least start kind of. I mean, that's how I got my jobs, how you got your job, first writing job. 00:38:17 Speaker 5: Jimmy sent us your Twitter and said, this guy is great. It's so crazy, and then that beautiful packet came into my inbox. About a month after that. 00:38:25 Speaker 4: I got that DM from Jimmy a month after I had decided I was basically going to move back to Salt Lake Sitting. Really, I was literally at the time researching social media jobs in Salt Lake Sitting, being like, well, I tried. 00:38:35 Speaker 2: Well, you know you do have online resources. 00:38:37 Speaker 4: I do have, so I write candidate, very. 00:38:41 Speaker 2: Impressed, Well, I'm really glad you didn't quit. 00:38:45 Speaker 5: I'm glad that you stuck it out because you are such you are such a great writer. Just so you were one of those employees Jimmy kimmelive, like the history books of Jimmy Kimmel I writers. 00:38:56 Speaker 2: I'm just a favorite. 00:38:58 Speaker 1: Oh. 00:38:58 Speaker 2: I would say you have like one of the highest approval ratings. Just personality and talent that makes me. 00:39:03 Speaker 4: I mean, it literally changed my life. I've told Jimmy that probably too many times at this point, but I should tell you as well. I mean it like literally saved my life. 00:39:11 Speaker 2: So good, well your life's ending today, so I'm glad. Yes. 00:39:15 Speaker 5: And then I believe it was last year we were in rehearsal. We were doing a Mike Lindell bit. We have James a Doomian does a great Mike Lindell impression, and Jimmy said, you know who should play the KFC manager Bridge or someone call him? 00:39:30 Speaker 4: I think it was I don't remember, because Lindall had just like gotten arrested at a Hardy's. 00:39:36 Speaker 5: And it just came out we all and it was one of those things like, of course you should play that. And then you showed up and did you were wonderful, and it was everyone was just so happy to. 00:39:45 Speaker 2: See you back. 00:39:45 Speaker 4: I should be playing a Hardy's manager on every TV show. 00:39:48 Speaker 2: I think you should too. You did a really good job. 00:39:51 Speaker 4: Yeah, I love it. Like I left that job feeling very sad. It was another like when I got the When I first got the job, I went out to my car and cried, than when I left the job, I went up to my car and cry. The only thing I didn't regret leaving of that job was having to at least professionally think about Donald Trump every time. Yeah, which is something that you and the rest of that staff. I mean, it's just you're made of steel. For me, it was like I left the show mid twenty sixteen, and so that's when all that this morons bullshit was just ramping up. And even then I was like, I don't know how much longer I can do this. 00:40:27 Speaker 2: I have to tell you. 00:40:28 Speaker 5: It definitely takes a psychological toll on everyone. And I've told my therapist like, hey, I just you know, I'm so angry and I'm so scared, and I'm just like, you know, you you need to just turn all that off. And I'm like, yeah, but I can't so. 00:40:40 Speaker 4: Easy to sort of the job. 00:40:42 Speaker 2: I have to do it in order to write right, and it's so it's hard. 00:40:46 Speaker 5: But there's also this part of you that very naively thinks I have to absorb it all so that I can inform other. 00:40:54 Speaker 4: People, all right, because they need to hear. 00:40:56 Speaker 5: We can't normalize what's going on in the world. And but I'm sure we're not moving the needle at all, but I think you are now. I don't know, I feel like it's so split, and it's just like people are in there. It's like Super Bowl Sunday. Every day, no one's going to root for the other team. 00:41:10 Speaker 4: It's like, I think, I actually these are some things I'll say. First of all, I don't know if I mean I think that there is hope. I mean, my dad's not voting for Donald Trump, which is one of the most I love my father. We have such a great relationship, but he's been a lifelong Republican. Same had he voted for Donald Trump twice and he told me just a couple of months ago, I can't do it, which to me, I just like, isn't that such a much feeling? And so I think that there is that hope, and I think Jimmy Kimmel alive really does. Like I think the way the show operated for such a long time in kind of an almost a political way, like made it the perfect place to be. Like even Jimmy has had enough. 00:41:48 Speaker 2: Of this, right ye acause we never covered politics. 00:41:51 Speaker 4: Right, never, and not like in an irresponsible way. It just like wasn't part of what the show was, right, And so when you hear somebody like a show like this, that's like, we cannot handle this horrible person. Yeah, it's like I think the audience, I think I don't know, I think there is something important. 00:42:05 Speaker 2: About Well, that's nice. I appreciate that. 00:42:07 Speaker 5: My dad also voted for Trump the first time, and then shortly after moved to Puerto Rico. 00:42:14 Speaker 2: I don't know if you remember. 00:42:15 Speaker 5: Then shortly after that the hurricane hit and that's when Donald Trump went down and like threw bounty people's heads, and I I had lost touch with my dad. I didn't know if he was okay, And for days I was like, I don't know if he's alive or dead. And then I got an email from my dad about five days after the hurricane hit, and it said I just waited eight hours in line to get one gallon of gas for sixty dollars so I could charge my phone to tell you that Donald Trump sucks. And it's the greatest email I've ever received in my life. 00:42:53 Speaker 2: It was I thought. 00:42:54 Speaker 5: I was like, I'm here, I'm alive. It's like, no, I did all this to tell you. I just like, sacrifice all this to. 00:42:58 Speaker 2: Tell you that you were right. 00:43:00 Speaker 4: He's for and country. 00:43:03 Speaker 2: Yes, I agree, that is. 00:43:05 Speaker 5: I grew up in a very conservative home. My dad like, I used to listen to Russia Limba with my dad. I bought I remember saving my babysitting money to buy my dad a rush Limbaugh tie, going to Chesterfield Mall and salist. 00:43:17 Speaker 4: Is that TI? 00:43:17 Speaker 2: Does I have rush On color like a Bill Cosby ish colorful? I think that's my memory of it. 00:43:25 Speaker 5: But yeah, it's interesting to grow up one way and then kind of find your own way, which I think is commendable to you and to me. 00:43:34 Speaker 4: Of course, look at us, of course, you know, we. 00:43:36 Speaker 2: Kind of found our own thing that makes sense for us. 00:43:39 Speaker 4: I mean, and then it creates an interesting dynamic between the people you grew up with. Yeah, it's hard, it can get very difficult. 00:43:45 Speaker 2: Very difficult. 00:43:46 Speaker 4: But I think, I mean, I both of my parents are not voting for Donald Trump, which I mean to me is just like I never would have thought this, but like it's just got He's so horrible. Yeah, he's so horrible. It's hard not to watching The of Eight the other nights, like I can't believe someone's looking at this guy and be like that's that. 00:44:04 Speaker 5: Yes, insane person, insane. And it's also the same people that were saying that Joe Biden was rambling and not making sense, right. 00:44:14 Speaker 4: The con man Right. Yeah, everyone registered to vote? 00:44:17 Speaker 2: Please register to vote. 00:44:18 Speaker 5: For God's sake, Let's see if we get more people in Taylor Swift registered to vote with this podcast. 00:44:23 Speaker 4: This podcast is i would say, probably twenty five percent more powerful than Taylor's. 00:44:27 Speaker 3: Oh. 00:44:27 Speaker 2: Absolutely, no one's reading her gifts. 00:44:30 Speaker 4: I'm selling out arenas, bigger arenas than Where are you doing your live show in Brooklyn at the Bellhouse? At the beautiful Bellhouse. Right, That's another thing I miss about Kimmel is when we would go to Brooklyn. 00:44:43 Speaker 2: I love that. 00:44:43 Speaker 4: It's such a fun time. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. We all are, we all are, we are. I can't believe I have this. I mean, I'm going to look and see if there's anything else I can say. 00:44:55 Speaker 2: There are usable things in there. 00:44:56 Speaker 5: There are very great your observational humor, the very very Bridger comedy. 00:45:03 Speaker 2: It's so unique, there really is. You don't realize maybe I hope you do. 00:45:08 Speaker 5: I hope you realize how rare your voice is, because it's it's very sweet, just a bright light. 00:45:13 Speaker 4: I love it. I mean, I'm just looking at this and this is just, I mean simply the most mortifying thing that could have possibly ever read. 00:45:21 Speaker 2: Your Game of Thrones bit. 00:45:22 Speaker 3: I like that. 00:45:22 Speaker 5: There's a bit yeah, the first page so for those still listening late night packets to traditionally have a couple of pages of topical jokes and a couple of pages of bit ideas, and Bridger did a very good. 00:45:35 Speaker 2: Job with both. 00:45:36 Speaker 5: And there's a game throw I don't think we ever actually used any of these bits. But the Game of Thrones bit makes me laugh. 00:45:43 Speaker 4: I'm not reading this, Yes you are, There's no way. 00:45:47 Speaker 5: It's so wonderfully dumb and wonderful. 00:45:51 Speaker 4: I love it. Okay, it says so, it says Game of Thrones recaf and again, any potential future employers this was written over ten years ago. 00:46:03 Speaker 2: Also, he has good organizational skills in the office, it says. 00:46:08 Speaker 4: Game of Thrones recap. Jimmy explains that Game of Thrones has a complicated plot and again this again was when Game of Thrones was a topical thing. Yes, of course, before it was run into the ground. Peak Jimmy explains that Game of Thrones has a complicated plot, so it helps to have a refresher of what happened in each week's episode. He then introduces a clip, a dramatic sequence similar to the show's opening credits, which, after ten to fifteen seconds of build up, cuts to a simple title card that just reads, something happened to someone with a beard. So, I mean, if I were if I were running a late night show, if I were the host of a late night show, it would be canceled after ten minutes, simple like this is the most irritating show. 00:46:46 Speaker 2: No, nope, it's original, it's unique, it's so you and. 00:46:50 Speaker 4: I love it. There was one point where I was like, I can't believe Jimmy hasn't fired me, because. 00:46:54 Speaker 2: I everyone feels that way every day. 00:46:56 Speaker 4: There was one bit it was around Easter. I mean like I would obvious. They do try to do things that were according to the show. But then every once a on like, I'm just going to do one for me, and I pitched we just do a straightforward commercial for bonnets. There was no other angle other that it would just be like, literally a commercial for bonnets. I'm like, he's going to just walk into the office and ask me to leave. 00:47:18 Speaker 2: Did we put it on the air? 00:47:19 Speaker 4: Absolutely not, Okay, I remember, like, what is he talking about? 00:47:24 Speaker 2: I love it, though. 00:47:24 Speaker 5: You need that because I think people get comfortable and obviously the goal in a late night show is to write for the host and the voice of the show, but it also gets irritating and everyone keeps pitching the same stuff and you want new ideas. So you need that bonnet commercial every now and then. 00:47:39 Speaker 2: You just got to change it up. I love it. 00:47:42 Speaker 4: I will say my favorite. One of the high points of that show that I feel like was a nice mix of everything that I was so happy to do, was I pitched there was some sort of wind storm or something in LA that was really horrible, and I pitched that a traveling wind chime. Salesman interrupts Jimmy during the monologue. Oh that's good, and we got to do it with Fred Willard, Oh god, the best who I'm rip, one of the all time best people, and that like to me, it was like, oh, I got basically got to do exactly the sort of thing I would want to do with one of my all time favorite actors. 00:48:13 Speaker 2: Not the best feeling. 00:48:14 Speaker 4: Oh it feels so good. It's so good, Jimmy. I mean, the show is like one of the few places anymore, I think, because Jimmy loves lettermans so much, where you still got to do weird little things like that. This is the audience is probably baffled. 00:48:28 Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, there's definitely things we do for ourselves on that show, but we love it. It's fun to do that type of thing. It feels really good to write something you're proud of and then see it on You know, it's such a fast paced thing too. You're in seven o'clock in the morning, you're in your pajamas, you're stressed out, you're looking at a blank page and you're just a government dream where you didn't graduate college or whatever, and you are just freaked out. 00:48:52 Speaker 2: You don't have anything. Some days you really don't. 00:48:54 Speaker 4: Some days you do. 00:48:55 Speaker 2: Oh and then like by dinner time, you're watching something that you thought of in the morning. 00:49:00 Speaker 4: Right with like a celebrity or something where it's just like, oh, there's something in no way I could have done this as a person alone. 00:49:06 Speaker 2: Right, It's crazy. This great team people around. 00:49:09 Speaker 4: Multiple industry professionals had to deal with whatever stupid thought. 00:49:13 Speaker 2: There's someone getting that bonnet or whatever that you need. Yeah, it's wonderful. I love it. 00:49:19 Speaker 4: Well, I think I'm sure the listener is furious that I'm not getting more into this, but I'm simply literally could not be more mortified. I mean, the fact that you have access to an electronic copy of this makes me so I'm going to hack and I'm going to use my online resources to get into your email. 00:49:37 Speaker 2: I would like to think, writers is this? 00:49:38 Speaker 5: And Becky Dorf, oh sweet found that for me and she keeps everything, and I just said, is there any way we still have Bridger's packet, And within seven seconds it was in my email and it made me so happy, And I'm really. 00:49:51 Speaker 2: Happy to be a guest here. That brought you the worst gift, because I think I. 00:49:55 Speaker 4: Might have There's no way that there could be a worse gift than this. 00:49:57 Speaker 2: No no chance. 00:49:58 Speaker 5: There's no gift that I'll give you the visceral reaction and just the wash of sweat that came over your. 00:50:03 Speaker 4: Back, unless some one brings me the head of a family member. 00:50:06 Speaker 3: Right. 00:50:08 Speaker 2: Will Arnett next week? Look forward to it. 00:50:13 Speaker 4: Oh my god, Well, thank you for this. I mean, it's nice to I'll probably never have another riding job now, Oh yes you will. This is now. I'm now permanently ruined. 00:50:22 Speaker 2: Now that's a ten year old packet which got you hired on the show. 00:50:26 Speaker 4: I would like to say, I think it probably in the end was the online resources. Yeah, definitely, that was the clincher for the show. 00:50:35 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 00:50:36 Speaker 4: Well, I think it's time to play a game. 00:50:38 Speaker 2: Oh I love a game. 00:50:39 Speaker 4: We're going to play a game called Gift or a Curse. I need a number between one and ten from you. 00:50:44 Speaker 2: Seven. 00:50:44 Speaker 4: Okay. I have to do some light calculating right now. So while I do this, I am going to be using some of my online resources. While I do this, you have the mic. You can recommend, promote, do whatever you want. 00:50:56 Speaker 2: Great. 00:50:57 Speaker 5: Well, I work, as you know, as the exect producer and one of the cod writers Jimmy Kim Alive on ABC and we have that every night for you to watch, which we put a lot of great work into some great jokes like Bridgers and some not and what else? What else am I provoting? I'm promoting myself. I'm a really good mom, guys. I somehow manage to have a full time job and raise a year old ten year old. And it's not easy right now, guys, it's not easy. I have to ingest all this news every morning that makes me want to die, and then put on a smile and make pancakes and pack lunches and pretend that the world isn't on fire, and put two kids in the car and take them to school, and then I go to work, and then I try to make all this bad news funny and it's not that funny, guys. It's not that funny, Okay. 00:51:48 Speaker 2: So I'd like to promote that I'm still alive after ingesting this news every day, spinning it around and raising two humans that I don't want them to know how terrified I am of what's going on in the world. 00:52:00 Speaker 4: Thanks beautifully, beautifully done. 00:52:03 Speaker 2: I grind my teeth and I chip my tooth and things are a mess. 00:52:07 Speaker 4: Do you have a mouthguard? 00:52:08 Speaker 2: I need to get one. I chipped a tooth from grinding away. 00:52:10 Speaker 4: WHOA, I can't believe your dentist doesn't have you own a mouthguard. 00:52:13 Speaker 2: I know I need to be on one. Oh well, I'm going to get in visil line. Ooman within visil line. Like, that's a freaking clus I think that's fine. Ever seen someone with a visilin like good idea? No, it's a terrible idea. 00:52:30 Speaker 5: I just need to get to the results. But it's going to be sixteen months of I'm a grown ass woman within visil line. 00:52:36 Speaker 4: But in visil line has come a long way. 00:52:38 Speaker 2: No, it hasn't. No, it hasn't. You still know it's in visil line. 00:52:42 Speaker 4: Butt. If Tom Cruise can go through braces publicly, anyone could do in visil line. 00:52:48 Speaker 5: Yeah. 00:52:49 Speaker 2: That worked out great. 00:52:50 Speaker 4: That was one of my favorite periods of pop culture history. Tom had braces. 00:52:54 Speaker 2: That was wonderful. 00:52:55 Speaker 4: Good for him. 00:52:55 Speaker 2: You're right, it's incredible. 00:52:57 Speaker 4: Okay, this is how we play gift for a curse. I'm going to name three things, and you're going to tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why, Okay, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong because there are correct answers. Oh you can fail big times. Okay, oh gosh, okay. Number one This is from a listener named Emily. Gift or a curse. Someone compliments your outfit and then they say it looks comfortable. 00:53:19 Speaker 5: Oh gosh, you know, Molly in her thirties would have said that that's a curse. Molly in her forties says, that's a gift because you've complimented me. I look good, and you're also telling me I look comfortable, which I think is the ultimate goal. I'm not afraid of that anymore. I used to wear really uncomfortable shoes, high heels. 00:53:38 Speaker 2: Forget it. No, COVID changed everything. Comfort is a compliment, and I'm taking it. It's a gift. 00:53:45 Speaker 4: Absolutely, it's a gift we have. I'm sorry, but we've reached a point in history when we went through normcore for the from twenty twelve to twenty seventeen, and that really broke down some walls for everyone to just be comfortable at all times. And when you get the compliment, everyone just wants to look comfortable. I mean, we're all just looking comfortable. I mean the I think it all started kind of the airport with people wearing pajama pants. Yes, and then that kind of bled into reality and being comfortable is a good thing. 00:54:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, to be comfortable and like, oh, I like the way you look. 00:54:17 Speaker 4: That's that's a dream. 00:54:19 Speaker 2: That's a dream. 00:54:20 Speaker 4: Unless it's someone who's a known enemy and you know that they're trying to undercut you. 00:54:24 Speaker 2: Yeah, unless you're the Oscars. 00:54:26 Speaker 5: Someone says you look good and comfortable at like a black tie thing, maybe it's an insult, but other than that, day to day, I'll take it. 00:54:33 Speaker 4: Definitely a gift. Okay, very nicely played. Number two. This is from a listener named Peter. Gift or a curse calling presents prezzies. 00:54:41 Speaker 2: Oh, curse, screw. You don't want any part of it. 00:54:44 Speaker 5: Don't call blueberries bloobs, don't call prezzies presents prezies. Don't call sandwiches sandos, hate all of it, don't get cute, just call it. You didn't even save yourself a syllable present, Prezzy. It's no, no, no, goddamn curse. And I will die on that hill. 00:55:03 Speaker 4: Oh unfortunately, Molly, that is a gift. No Prezzi's. First of all, I've never heard anybody say this before. This is the first time it's really coming to my attention. 00:55:15 Speaker 5: And you liked the way it sounded, You liked that that felt good inside when you heard prezies, you like that makes that really Now I feel like my Prezie wasn't so bad. 00:55:27 Speaker 2: If that's if you think Prezzie. 00:55:28 Speaker 4: Is good, Prezie is neither. A. You're not supposed to feel good or bad while saying it. I think that it's supposed to just send a shock to the system, uh huh, to you and everyone around you, and it makes everyone feel a little more alive. When why is Molly calling presence prezzies? Is she okay? Nope? 00:55:46 Speaker 3: No. 00:55:47 Speaker 5: One time I brought a bottle of champagne over to someone's house and I said thanks for the champs and I almost just took it back. 00:55:53 Speaker 2: No, I don't like shortening words. It don't need to be shortened. 00:55:56 Speaker 4: This all started with guawk, oh, fuck, walk, fuck. 00:55:59 Speaker 2: All of it. 00:55:59 Speaker 5: No like any of excuse my language, don't know, I hate it all. Don't be cute, just use the word. 00:56:04 Speaker 2: It was made for a reason. 00:56:06 Speaker 4: Sando's a tough one to swallow. 00:56:07 Speaker 2: It's all hard, all of it. All of it's bad. 00:56:12 Speaker 4: Pressies. No, well, unfortunately you do not get the point because it's clearly a gift. 00:56:17 Speaker 5: Oh, I will I'm about to I'm gonna find that gun. 00:56:20 Speaker 4: We were talking about Molly. We hate to see a sore loser, so let's try to turn things around here. Number three, gift her a curse and this is from someone named Rebecca. And this is a long one gift to a curse. When you and a stranger are walking in opposite directions and you try to dodge each other but keep going to the same side. Then when you eventually figure it out and are able to pass each other, the stranger says, thanks for the dance. 00:56:47 Speaker 2: That's hard. 00:56:50 Speaker 5: Gosh, you know, it kind of depends on how it's delivered. And if you know what, tell you what, if it's someone over the age of fifty, it is a gift. If oh, you know what, I'm gonna be really like biased here because it's. 00:57:05 Speaker 2: Like, gosh, I'm not I'm being ages with this. 00:57:09 Speaker 5: I you know what I'm gonna say, it's a gift. And I know it's the wrong answer, but that's silly that you're gonna call it the wrong answer because. 00:57:16 Speaker 2: You like Pruzzy. But I think it's a gift. 00:57:20 Speaker 4: I'm not confident. 00:57:22 Speaker 2: It's more of a bresie. I don't know it's a gift. 00:57:25 Speaker 5: I'm gonna say gift. No, God, I don't feel comfortable with it though. If someone said that, I think I not feel good. I'm really putting on a thought. I respect this, Thanks for the dance. If it's an old man gift, anyone else, curse, but. 00:57:43 Speaker 4: You have to make it. You have to make a distinction. There's no two answer here. 00:57:49 Speaker 5: M hm. Against everything that my body is feeling. Am I trying to get it right? Or am I trying to tell you what I think. 00:57:56 Speaker 4: You're trying to have the best day you possibly can. 00:58:00 Speaker 5: Okay, If I'm gonna have the best day I can possibly can, I'm gonna try to stay positive because it's hard to be positive in this world. 00:58:07 Speaker 2: So I'm going to say it's a gift, Thank you so much. What a cute little joke you mane on the sidewalk. I don't like it. 00:58:13 Speaker 4: Gift Molly wrong, damn it, it's a curse you should have. 00:58:17 Speaker 5: You're absolutely right, it's a curse, and I don't feel good about myself. 00:58:20 Speaker 4: You've already taken up too much of my time on the sidewalk. Shut up and leave me alone. Totally. 00:58:24 Speaker 5: I know, I totally agree with you, but it just felt so negative, and after you're shitting on pressy, I felt like, oh, come on, Molly, have a. 00:58:30 Speaker 2: Little hope in the world. 00:58:31 Speaker 4: Maybe instead of using your brain power to think of your little joke, you could have thought about getting out of my way. Yes, totally, thanks for the dance. 00:58:39 Speaker 2: I hate him. 00:58:40 Speaker 4: It's orderline sexual harassment. You're right. I don't want to hear from you. You're annoying. We all know. It's a frustrating experience. I'm flustered. I don't want to have to laugh. I don't want to have to wonder what's going on with you as a person. Leave me alone. No, thank you. That's a curse. And unfortunately, Molly, you got one out of three. 00:59:00 Speaker 2: But if that person was wearing a T shirt that said the name of your. 00:59:06 Speaker 4: Podcast on it, it's what I would say, do not tell anyone you listen to my podcast. 00:59:11 Speaker 2: I said no gifts. 00:59:11 Speaker 5: Now you'd be like, come on, if someone's wearing the I said no Gifts t shirt coming to you, you would maybe like it. 00:59:17 Speaker 4: A little more. I would say, take that shirt off. I don't want anything to do with you. You are sullying the name of my good podcast. 00:59:26 Speaker 2: Great now it's a shirtless guy doing it. Just got so much worse. 00:59:29 Speaker 4: Great, find something else to listen to. 00:59:32 Speaker 2: All right, you know what I like. I appreciate your conviction. 00:59:35 Speaker 3: I like that. 00:59:36 Speaker 4: Well, uh, poor failure. I am poorly, poorly played, and we. 00:59:41 Speaker 2: Have poorly played. I brought a terrible gift. I failed. 00:59:45 Speaker 4: You know what? 00:59:46 Speaker 5: This is why I keep having this nightmare that I wake up unprepared for the test because of moments like these. 00:59:51 Speaker 4: You are going down in absolute flame. Okay, well, this is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I Said No Email. People write into I Said No gifts at gmail dot com, and my listeners are desperate for answers. They all have different problems in their lives. Will you help me answer a question? 01:00:10 Speaker 2: Yes? 01:00:10 Speaker 4: Okay, let me get into the doc here. Greeting's Bridger and surprise guest. What a great episode so far. That's very nice of them to assume. Here's the problem I desperately need solved. My daughter is in first grade and will be invited to a number of birthday parties this school year. I saw these keywords, I thought Molly could be a perfect person. Yes, because I certainly, well, actually I am. I'm good at answering every question. Are rather than running multiple errands to pick up gifts for various seven year olds like we did throughout kindergarten, what are some fun and useful gifts I could purchase multiples of and have ready to go when another birthday party rolls around with gratitude. 01:00:50 Speaker 5: Andrea, Okay, Andrea, I love that you asked this. I this is my kind of go to for gifts for kids. Are supplies, oh and books Okay, and you can buy them buy the bulk. I also, if you really like a friend I like, and I got this. This is going to be the most obnoxious thing I've ever said. I stole this idea from Oprah when we had our first child, Oprah cent which is crazy. We got to get from Oprah a giant basket of books. There were two hundred and fifty children's books in there. Oh my god, her favorite children's books. And then she went the extra step and put a sticker on each that said Jane's book Club. 01:01:29 Speaker 2: It looked like the Oprah's Book Club, but say Jane's Book Club. And so that's what I do now. 01:01:36 Speaker 5: But I only send like ten books. I don't send to him for fifty but ten books like sending to me giving kids books like here are the ten books my child and I enjoy, best gift, and you just buy a bunch of them, have them in little stacks. Give books and art supplies. You know, my parents like art supplies because like they're disposable. They go and use them and then get out of them big plastic thing. Yeah, yeah, you're going to put that right in a shutter. 01:01:59 Speaker 4: I got you. I'm going to put this in the cannon and fire into the atmosphere. 01:02:03 Speaker 5: Yeah, and then this is going to be also an earnest answer. But I also like making a donation to Children's hospital when kids a birthday parties and go, hey, little donation in your name to Children's hospital. 01:02:14 Speaker 2: And here's a favorite book of ours. 01:02:15 Speaker 4: That's a good gift. Children are not give it a donation to us. 01:02:20 Speaker 2: Don't need anything else, mostly right, right. 01:02:23 Speaker 4: I mean, Andrea clearly doesn't care about her child's friends. I think that that's pretty obvious. She or she got tired of them during kindergarten. One of them offended her, and now she's got some sort of she's some problem that she's out to solve. She doesn't want to get them anything good, she doesn't want to put any thought into it. My suggest suggestion is go to the bank and get a bag of Nichols. Then you know, the birthday party, you just grab one out of the bag in the car, and you're also set for meters, you know, so you can also use that when you're parking in the city and you're now prepared for both children's birthdays and parking. 01:03:01 Speaker 2: Yes, that's a terrible gift idea year old. 01:03:06 Speaker 5: Seven year olds don't want your filthy nickels, Okay, they'd rather you give them like a pack of gum than a pack of nickels. 01:03:14 Speaker 4: Andrea is going to be the hit of the birthday party circuit with her nickels. No, she's not gonna be worrying about the meter running out. She's going to come in with the single nickel or the child. I guess the child will be the person sent in with the nickel, and they're going to make a lot of friends. 01:03:27 Speaker 5: They're the nickel kid. That's gonna be their nickname now, because kids don't even work and change. They don't have change, they don't have a use for it. There's not like bubblegum machines. It's not like penny candy like our parents talked about. They don't want your nickels, You filthy nickels. 01:03:43 Speaker 2: Don't bring anything. 01:03:45 Speaker 4: Currency, don't bring. 01:03:48 Speaker 2: Don't listen to bridge or under this guys. 01:03:50 Speaker 4: Come on, Andrea, go to the credit union, go to your bank, whatever you wherever you need to go to the at well, actually ATMs should give nickels. That's a that's an idea for the banking industry. Look into it, banking and street. Go to the bank or just scrounge around the house for a few nickels. You probably, I can't imagine your kids got more than two friends. This family seems like losers. M get the nickels. Put them in the glove compartment or that what's the middle thing in the car, the box that sits between the two seats, which we call that thing that you've lift up the console, the console, oh cle center, console, mini coffin, the guinea pig coffin in between the two seeds. That's now just full of kind of loose change. And prepare for the family to be run out of town. 01:04:36 Speaker 2: Happy birthday to you. What a nice gift. 01:04:42 Speaker 4: Everyone appreciates a single nickel, of course, Yeah, totally. 01:04:47 Speaker 2: I throw those away. 01:04:49 Speaker 4: Must be nice, must be. 01:04:54 Speaker 2: I have no use for them. 01:04:57 Speaker 4: Okay, well, Andrea, you've gotten your answer from me. From me, we'll probably have to beep out a lot of what Molly had to say. Her advice was borderline. 01:05:08 Speaker 2: We don't want too good of advice on this thing. 01:05:13 Speaker 4: But Andrew, do not write back in. I don't want to hear anything else about this situation. It makes me sick. Oh gosh, Molly, Molly, Molly, Well, you've essentially I've been assaulted with a piece of history of mine which is making me question everything. 01:05:27 Speaker 2: Don't you want to go back and rethink inviting me here? 01:05:30 Speaker 4: I want to rethink my career. I'm going to tell my agents and manager today that I'm leaving the business. I'm going to crawl back to overstock dot com and tell them that I could have saved them from the bed bath and beyond disaster. 01:05:44 Speaker 5: It would be so fun if we could submit that packet right now, under a different name to all the late night shows and see if we get a bite. 01:05:51 Speaker 2: I bet we could absolutely not. 01:05:53 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, someone would find out and I would become the laughing stock of the industry. 01:06:00 Speaker 2: Even more so, I am absolutely not. I stand by that packet. 01:06:05 Speaker 4: Well, I look, I do appreciate the shock to the system. Good. 01:06:08 Speaker 2: I'm glad you need it. 01:06:09 Speaker 4: Very alive. 01:06:10 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like a cold plunch. I gave you a cold plunch right here. The endorphins are going, and it does. 01:06:15 Speaker 3: You know. 01:06:16 Speaker 4: It's a nice look back to think at some point I could have. I mean, I almost completely ruined everything for myself. 01:06:24 Speaker 2: You are ridiculous. That's a great packet. 01:06:27 Speaker 4: Oh, oh my god, it's so now. 01:06:31 Speaker 2: I want you to write one now. My current day isn't so terrible. 01:06:36 Speaker 4: It is a stressful experience. I feel bad. 01:06:39 Speaker 5: I have to read packets, you know, for my job, and I always I always just feel bad reading them. 01:06:44 Speaker 2: Of course I do. 01:06:44 Speaker 5: I'm like, they put so much work into this, and when you don't like it, I was like, hold on, I'm gonna read it again. I try to read it again the next day. I'm like, maybe I was just you know, I don't want to bring my own stuff on this. Let maybe I'm in a better mood I'm gonna read it now. 01:06:56 Speaker 2: Like, oh no, I still don't like it. Shoot, and I feel bad. But there's a lot of good ones like that one. 01:07:02 Speaker 4: Oh, packets, packets, packets. I don't know. Well, thank you for bringing this here. You're welcome, and I'm so happy you could be here today. 01:07:09 Speaker 2: I'm so glad I could be here. 01:07:10 Speaker 5: I absolutely adore you podcast, and I just think you're a special human being that we are all lucky to have in our lives. 01:07:17 Speaker 4: Oh God, bless we've come a very long way from Anne of Green Gables. 01:07:21 Speaker 2: Yeah we have. I'm so sad I forgot that. That's how I met you. Now I can see it perfectly clear. 01:07:26 Speaker 4: I've got a photo. I'll post it to Instagram. Maybe that will run some liveries for you. 01:07:30 Speaker 2: Please do it's it's. 01:07:32 Speaker 4: It is a good costume. My mom made it for me. 01:07:36 Speaker 2: I've got to check her out. I'm going to check out our voting record online and see if that was the. 01:07:39 Speaker 4: Fact that my mom at the time didn't realize that I was gay. There's a whole bunch of things happening. 01:07:44 Speaker 2: Wait, did your mom really make the costume? 01:07:46 Speaker 4: You made the costume? 01:07:46 Speaker 2: No, she did. 01:07:47 Speaker 4: She's the best. That's amazing, it's incredible. She should start at Etsy store. Yes, she should strictly a Green Gables car. 01:07:53 Speaker 2: Yes, I did not realize your mom made it. 01:07:55 Speaker 4: Incredible. 01:07:56 Speaker 2: That makes it even better. Oh no, I can't wait to see the photo. 01:07:59 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a really gorgeous costume. 01:08:01 Speaker 2: Where is it now? 01:08:03 Speaker 4: I think it's a my parents house. It must be, because yeah, moving back and forth, you know, you're like, I'm not moving anywhere. 01:08:09 Speaker 5: Halloween costumes refresh my memory. It was a costume made for that year. 01:08:14 Speaker 4: It was before that year. 01:08:15 Speaker 2: It wasn't like mom sent me the costume you made for me in eighth grade. 01:08:18 Speaker 4: No, she made it that year and mailed it to me. 01:08:21 Speaker 2: That sweet and that was a request by you. This is what I want. 01:08:24 Speaker 4: Yes. The only thing I supplied was the wig, which was a I've never seen frozen actually, but the redheaded character, Oh yeah has pigtails, I guess right, yeah, Anna, yeah, Ana. So I went to the store and bought one of those and it worked well. I mean, that's a that's a little life hack for the listener if they want to be Anne of green Gables, get a frozen wing leg. 01:08:44 Speaker 5: Yeah, that's does she still like right now, if you said to your mom, can you make me a costume for Halloween? 01:08:51 Speaker 2: Would she? 01:08:51 Speaker 3: Oh? 01:08:51 Speaker 4: Absolutely. 01:08:52 Speaker 2: She's like sows and she sews. 01:08:54 Speaker 4: She watercolors. She made the poster for our live show I have right here. Do you want to look at this? Of course? 01:09:00 Speaker 3: Sure. 01:09:00 Speaker 4: And this was a big ask for her because I said, will you paint a picture of a rat holding a gun. 01:09:06 Speaker 2: From your childhood memory of your up splinter? 01:09:09 Speaker 4: Oh that's great, and she was like, she was very nervous about the gun element. But I was able to convince her. 01:09:14 Speaker 2: And this is at this, Oh my god, that's adorable, really great. 01:09:19 Speaker 4: She was a very good artist. 01:09:20 Speaker 2: She's a really good artist. And who did that awesome font? 01:09:23 Speaker 4: I am the person behind the font? You are? I love a bit that on my resume that Yeah you should if you have a special skill to add. 01:09:30 Speaker 2: I love the colors too. 01:09:31 Speaker 4: You can pick a great poster. Isn't that great? 01:09:34 Speaker 2: You need to have that hanging in this room. 01:09:35 Speaker 4: She should start a poster business. 01:09:37 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. This was really nice. 01:09:41 Speaker 4: Nice. 01:09:41 Speaker 2: I like seeing you. Next time. I'll let me bring Pikito moss. 01:09:45 Speaker 4: Everyone, I'll bring you bring Poqito moss and something that doesn't just shake me to my core. 01:09:49 Speaker 2: Maybe a gift that will make you feel good inside and outside. I'll try that. 01:09:53 Speaker 4: Next step, listener, the podcast is over. It's simply coming to an end. You knew that this was coming the moment you started the podcast that eventually would end. And now you're coming to terms with that. I hope you're coming to terms with that at least, otherwise you're gonna have a meltdown. I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Analise Nelson, and it's beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no Gifts, I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? 01:10:44 Speaker 2: Well, I invit, did you hear. 01:10:48 Speaker 1: Thun a man myself perfectly clear? When you're a guess, Tom, you gotta come to me empty, I said. 01:11:02 Speaker 5: No guests. 01:11:03 Speaker 1: Your own presence is presents enough. 01:11:07 Speaker 3: I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me?