WEBVTT - “I’M 57 AND WORKING AT STARBUCKS”

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, folks, it's Lyle. Before we get into the episode,

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to talk to you guys about a new

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<v Speaker 1>endeavors by becoming a premium member of this podcast over

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<v Speaker 1>at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Premium members, or

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<v Speaker 1>gek Legends, as I call them, we'll be able to

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<v Speaker 1>slice of pizza. Go to Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot

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<v Speaker 1>become a gek Legend today. All right, let's get into

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<v Speaker 1>the episode. Hi, Hi, Lyle, Hey is this Susan?

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<v Speaker 2>It sure is?

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on, Susan? How's life?

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<v Speaker 2>It's good? I actually just saw you in Portland. My

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<v Speaker 2>daughter lived there and she took me to your show

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<v Speaker 2>and it was great.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, seck, which one did you go to? The early

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<v Speaker 1>one of the late one?

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<v Speaker 2>I saw the one with the lady with the condom

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<v Speaker 2>in her nose and health the Mouse.

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<v Speaker 1>Ah, that one was pretty good. Yeah, hell yeah, Well

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<v Speaker 1>thanks for hilarious. Did you know about my podcast before

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<v Speaker 1>you came to the to the show?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? She had introduced that to me before and I

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<v Speaker 2>thought you were hilarious. And when she said she had tickets,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, yeah, I want to go. And it

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<v Speaker 2>was a good show.

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<v Speaker 1>Good good. I'm glad you had fun. Yeah, there's this

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<v Speaker 1>whole I just got off of a whole run of

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<v Speaker 1>the Pacific Northwest and I was a really fun ass time.

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<v Speaker 2>Did I hear that you're coming to Chicago?

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<v Speaker 3>Uh?

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<v Speaker 1>Next to next year, I'll come to Chicago. I already

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<v Speaker 1>came to Chicago, but I'm going to do another tour

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<v Speaker 1>next year. Hopefully if people show up, I'll uh, I

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<v Speaker 1>will be in Chicago.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll bring all my friends.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yes, what were you doing in Portland? Just visiting

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<v Speaker 1>your daughter?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? My daughter moved out there a couple of years

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<v Speaker 2>ago with her boyfriend, and I get out there maybe

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<v Speaker 2>once or twice a year. To see her.

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<v Speaker 1>Nice, nice night. Did you guys do anything else besides

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<v Speaker 1>go to my show?

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<v Speaker 2>Sure we did, but that was the epicenter of my visit.

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<v Speaker 2>I just want you to know that.

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<v Speaker 1>Good.

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<v Speaker 2>But we did a lot of the foodie things. We

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<v Speaker 2>did some hiking, some waterfalls, things like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Good, good, good. Well, I'm glad. The best compliment I've

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<v Speaker 1>ever received is that my live show was more majestic

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<v Speaker 1>than a waterfall. Did you go wish? What's the name

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<v Speaker 1>of the waterfall you went too? I think I've been

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<v Speaker 1>there before. What's it called?

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<v Speaker 2>Well? I mean, of course, she took me to Monoma,

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<v Speaker 2>and she's in the cat right now, so she can

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<v Speaker 2>write down the other ones that we went to. They

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<v Speaker 2>were all cool. I'm just a waterfall person.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I appreciatetion. I do these shows with no fucking

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I go up. I have no idea what

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<v Speaker 1>we're going to get into. So I'm glad that it

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<v Speaker 1>was a good experience for you. But enough talking about

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<v Speaker 1>my live show, Susan. What is it you called in

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<v Speaker 1>to want to talk about today?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, listen, I've got a lot that I could talk about.

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<v Speaker 2>Bell be Choosie. Right now, I work at a major

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<v Speaker 2>coffee house. And I'm fifty seven, kind of a late

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<v Speaker 2>bloomer in life. I had kids early, was in a

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<v Speaker 2>bad relationship, got out of that, ended up on my own,

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<v Speaker 2>ended up back into another bad situation. And Starbucks, that's

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<v Speaker 2>a coffee company I landed. I've been there for about

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<v Speaker 2>six years, and I'm just not happy anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>M Okay, So you've been there for six years. When

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<v Speaker 1>did you start being unhappy or were you just unhappy

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<v Speaker 1>the whole time?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I'm gonna say that the first six months to

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<v Speaker 2>a year were good, and then you know, I just

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<v Speaker 2>started realizing what kind of people I was working with,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, didn't get treated the best. And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>instead of quitting like a lot of people would, I

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<v Speaker 2>chose to stuck it out. And this is where I'm

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<v Speaker 2>at right now.

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<v Speaker 1>In what ways were the people not good to you?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean, as you know, and there's nothing wrong

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<v Speaker 2>with younger people, because I have two younger daughters, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>And I mean I try to stay hi and I

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<v Speaker 2>try to stay knowledgeable about, you know, the younger generations.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm the older one there at work, so there's

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<v Speaker 2>not a lot of relatability there. Every once in a while,

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like they look up me, up to me

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<v Speaker 2>as like a mom. But a lot of times we

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<v Speaker 2>don't have a lot of commonality. Hmm.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, and do they? And I mean you said that you.

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<v Speaker 2>Get out of conversations, they don't. They don't.

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<v Speaker 1>Go ahead. I mean, I was gonna say, you said

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<v Speaker 1>that they were treating you like actively poorly, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was wondering if if they were being like hostile to

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<v Speaker 1>you or or anything like that, but you were you

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<v Speaker 1>were kind of explaining that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Well, there was just a couple of situations where

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<v Speaker 2>we had we had a a trans person coming into

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<v Speaker 2>the store and apparently they were soliciting up and down

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<v Speaker 2>the strip mall that we have right there, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it got really bad. They were coming into the store

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<v Speaker 2>and doing this, and we were told the next time

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<v Speaker 2>came in and were disruptive to call the police. Well

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<v Speaker 2>that happened, and I called the police, and then all

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<v Speaker 2>of a sudden, everyone was calling me racist. And it

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't about race at all. It was about someone coming

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<v Speaker 2>into the store doing a bad thing, and we were

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<v Speaker 2>told to respond in this manner.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, were what were they soliciting?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, they were either soliciting for money or

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<v Speaker 2>they were soliciting for other things, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, hmmm. And the people that you work with have

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<v Speaker 1>you have you worked with them for a while? Where

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<v Speaker 1>is it kind of a rotation?

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<v Speaker 2>I would say it had been about a year.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>No, you either have a first shift or you have

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<v Speaker 2>a second shift. They did not overlap, so it was

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<v Speaker 2>with the same shift.

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<v Speaker 1>M hm. When you what do you like? If you

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<v Speaker 1>could do anything, what would you do?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, I'm going to cut a long story

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<v Speaker 2>short by saying when I was in my abusive relationship,

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<v Speaker 2>he was a manager at a restaurant for a long

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<v Speaker 2>time and he wanted to start his own business because

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<v Speaker 2>he hated his job. So he went out and bought

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<v Speaker 2>all this woodworking equipment and was set on making pens

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<v Speaker 2>for a living. Now I have artistic ability, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>in different areas, and he was like, well, you're going

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<v Speaker 2>to do this. So he actually kind of forced me

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<v Speaker 2>to learn how to make pens. I design and make

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<v Speaker 2>wood and acrylic writing pens on a lathe, And at

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<v Speaker 2>first I didn't want to do it. He was controlling

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<v Speaker 2>and it was like he was trying to live through me.

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<v Speaker 2>But then I got really good at it, and he

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<v Speaker 2>didn't like that. And I started learning marketing, and I

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<v Speaker 2>started going to all these art shows and crash shows,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was really shining introverted and then all of

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<v Speaker 2>a sudden, I was a really good salesperson and he

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<v Speaker 2>didn't like that. And as soon as he found out

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<v Speaker 2>that I was doing better than he could, he like

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<v Speaker 2>lost interest in it and wouldn't help me anymore with it.

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<v Speaker 2>So that's what I would be doing if I could

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<v Speaker 2>do anything.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, so pens and craftsmanship things with pens.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I was making really good money with it. Before

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<v Speaker 2>I was in art museum gift shop, I was selling

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<v Speaker 2>to all these gift stores all over the country. I

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<v Speaker 2>would spend hours on the white pages, Yellow pages, online

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<v Speaker 2>and emailing hundreds of stores every day, and that's how

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<v Speaker 2>I built my sales.

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<v Speaker 1>So what is it that's preventing you from doing that

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<v Speaker 1>or stopped you from doing that?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, financially, it's only me. Right now, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>tell you that I live in an apartment that I

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<v Speaker 2>that I don't pay for right now because I can't

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<v Speaker 2>and I have that going for me, but I still

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<v Speaker 2>don't generate enough to get out on my own. My

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<v Speaker 2>first goal is to get out of this living situation

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<v Speaker 2>because it's not good for me. And then I would

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<v Speaker 2>like to try to restart that business again, but I

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<v Speaker 2>can't seem to get the momentum to do that.

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<v Speaker 1>I got a bunch of questions about stuff he just said,

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<v Speaker 1>But why did why did the business? Why did you?

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<v Speaker 1>Why did the business stop in the first place?

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<v Speaker 2>Number one, he lost interest in it when he saw

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<v Speaker 2>that I was getting good and taking it over. And

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<v Speaker 2>then I finally, because I lived with this person for

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna say fifteen years. I had my two daughters

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<v Speaker 2>with me. They were not his. He was not a

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<v Speaker 2>nice person. He would do just horrible things like at

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<v Speaker 2>the house, directed at me and directed at my children.

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<v Speaker 2>And I finally, finally was given an opportunity to get out.

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<v Speaker 2>My dad was he had cancer. He was dying, so

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<v Speaker 2>I went and moved in so I could help him

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<v Speaker 2>until he passed. And then I ended up having to

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<v Speaker 2>come back here. So I had to stop that because

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<v Speaker 2>I left him.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, and m M all right, And so what's again?

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<v Speaker 1>I guess to go back to like the barriers between

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<v Speaker 1>you and continuing to do this business because I know

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<v Speaker 1>that beforehand, when you were doing it, it was like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, it seemed like it was a two person

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<v Speaker 1>operation between you and that guy, And once that guy

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<v Speaker 1>started to not want to be involved anymore, it just

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<v Speaker 1>kind of slowly fucked things up. But now it it's

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<v Speaker 1>been many years later and it's still something you're interested in.

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<v Speaker 1>I assume that there's upfront costs and time obligations and

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<v Speaker 1>you know, a man power obligations and things that are

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<v Speaker 1>between you and starting this business.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Actually, when when I was running it before, we

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<v Speaker 2>were living in a house. He was paying the rent.

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<v Speaker 2>I had a huge garage and that was my workshop.

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<v Speaker 2>I kept all of my tools, I kept all of

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<v Speaker 2>my supplies. So I don't have to put any money

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<v Speaker 2>in it right now. But I do not have a

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<v Speaker 2>workshop space. I don't have a basement, and I don't

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<v Speaker 2>have a garage.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, so you have you have inventory and things, and

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<v Speaker 1>you say you don't need to put money into it,

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<v Speaker 1>except you do need a space. Yeah, okay, all right,

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<v Speaker 1>So back to your living situation. You live for free

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<v Speaker 1>and you say you don't have enough money to what

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<v Speaker 1>is it that you need money in? My first space

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<v Speaker 1>a workspace, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Need to get out of this living situation first, because

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<v Speaker 2>the guy that that that I had left and I

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<v Speaker 2>know this is this is gonna sound weird, but the

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<v Speaker 2>guy that I had left when I came back after

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<v Speaker 2>my dad died, I think he felt guilty. Although it

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<v Speaker 2>did not change anything, did not change how my children

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<v Speaker 2>felt about him, did not change how I felt about him.

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<v Speaker 2>But he felt guilty, so he put me in an

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<v Speaker 2>apartment and pays for it. I will never reconcile with him.

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<v Speaker 2>I cannot wait to get out of this living situation

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<v Speaker 2>because number One, I feel indebted. Number Two, it's not

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<v Speaker 2>a comfortable situation and I need my independence. I and

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<v Speaker 2>I just it's so hard to get it now with

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<v Speaker 2>this economy.

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<v Speaker 1>How long have you been living there for?

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<v Speaker 2>I moved back here in twenty seventeen.

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<v Speaker 1>Years, so you've been having rent free for six years.

0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:12.559
<v Speaker 2>I pay all the bills, but he pays the rent.

0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.400
<v Speaker 1>And in those six years, I don't I don't really

0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:17.280
<v Speaker 1>know what the deal is with Starbucks, But like I,

0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:18.600
<v Speaker 1>were you able to save up?

0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:25.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I save up and then you know, things come

0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:27.800
<v Speaker 2>up to where I need to fix the car or whatever,

0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:31.280
<v Speaker 2>and then that kind of eats it down. During the pandemic.

0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:35.640
<v Speaker 2>That's when it really got problematic because hours were greatly cut.

0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:42.120
<v Speaker 2>And then my company, you know, they're looking to put

0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:45.240
<v Speaker 2>newer equipment in the stores and whatnot, So of course

0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:48.199
<v Speaker 2>that means that the labor is down. So where you

0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:50.559
<v Speaker 2>used to get fourty hours a week, there was one

0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:52.480
<v Speaker 2>point where I was getting like twenty one hours a

0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:54.760
<v Speaker 2>week just to maintain insurance.

0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:58.080
<v Speaker 1>And these days, these days, are you are you able

0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:00.360
<v Speaker 1>to make are you able to make a full time

0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:02.800
<v Speaker 1>living off of Starbucks to the point where you could

0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:06.679
<v Speaker 1>at minimum find a roommate and rent the room.

0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:13.200
<v Speaker 2>You know, And I, honestly, I'm going to sound my age,

0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:16.360
<v Speaker 2>but I've never even thought about living with the roommate.

0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:19.160
<v Speaker 2>I never have. And I mean, maybe that's something that

0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:21.760
<v Speaker 2>I have to visit, because maybe that's the only way

0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:25.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to get out of here. My homepayn and

0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:29.440
<v Speaker 2>I'll be very transparently pay after everything. Like the insurance

0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:32.560
<v Speaker 2>is like twelve hundred dollars of paycheck.

0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:34.880
<v Speaker 1>How many how often you get paid?

0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:38.400
<v Speaker 2>I live in Chicago, in the suburbs, in a rich neighborhood.

0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:44.880
<v Speaker 1>How often you get paychecks? Say it again, how often

0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:48.080
<v Speaker 1>are you getting paychecks?

0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:50.360
<v Speaker 2>Every every two weeks, so I get I get that

0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:51.080
<v Speaker 2>twice a month.

0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:56.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so twenty four hundred bucks after tax So twenty

0:14:56.480 --> 0:15:00.800
<v Speaker 1>four hundred bucks after taxes a.

0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:04.480
<v Speaker 2>Month before I pay my bills.

0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:07.960
<v Speaker 1>Yes, okay. So, and you don't want to live in

0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:09.720
<v Speaker 1>this rent free place anymore because you don't want shit

0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:16.040
<v Speaker 1>to do with that guy, which is a totally legitimate thing. Correct.

0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:18.040
<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean that's the way I feel right now.

0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:20.680
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it just it gets it gets harder as

0:15:20.720 --> 0:15:22.400
<v Speaker 2>I get older, Like I don't want to end up

0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:23.320
<v Speaker 2>here when I'm ninety.

0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:25.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I want. I listen. I want you to know.

0:15:26.520 --> 0:15:29.120
<v Speaker 1>And okay, so, like you said to me, you you

0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:30.720
<v Speaker 1>don't want to live there anymore because you don't want

0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:33.480
<v Speaker 1>to feel like you're indebted to this guy who has

0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:40.800
<v Speaker 1>not been cool to you. That's that's that you said,

0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:45.880
<v Speaker 1>what you're telling me, Yeah, I want, I want. I

0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:50.360
<v Speaker 1>want you to know if you do need to get

0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:53.240
<v Speaker 1>a roommate or do something like that, there's no shame

0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:56.600
<v Speaker 1>in it, especially if you know you're doing it as

0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.040
<v Speaker 1>a result of, like you know, a fifteen year long

0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:05.360
<v Speaker 1>abusive relationship. There's no shame in doing that. If that

0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:10.600
<v Speaker 1>is the thing that will bring you closer to doing

0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:17.760
<v Speaker 1>a thing that makes you happy. And the thing with

0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:20.880
<v Speaker 1>this pen thing, which it seemed as though you were

0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:23.120
<v Speaker 1>very good at and you know, marketing, and you have

0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:25.880
<v Speaker 1>the hustle of you know, going through the white pages

0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:30.960
<v Speaker 1>and all that stuff. I mean, shit, man, I'd love

0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:34.320
<v Speaker 1>to see it like try and do that again, especially

0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:39.960
<v Speaker 1>if you don't have any upfront costs to doing it.

0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:42.520
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it sounds like you're doing it a long

0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:45.760
<v Speaker 1>time ago and now there's you know, there's TikTok and

0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.840
<v Speaker 1>Instagram and all these other things that you can use

0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:54.760
<v Speaker 1>to promote and market products. And it's like, I'd love

0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:59.200
<v Speaker 1>to see at least finegelar way to give it a try.

0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:03.200
<v Speaker 1>I know it's horrid to do it under the like

0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:08.120
<v Speaker 1>financial circumstances, but if you have to get a roommate

0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:10.920
<v Speaker 1>to avoid feeling like you're indebted to this guy you're

0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:14.359
<v Speaker 1>an abusive relationship with for many years, I hope you

0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:20.560
<v Speaker 1>don't take shame in that, because there's no I.

0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:25.520
<v Speaker 2>Don't reason, I don't see, I don't I don't feel

0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:28.399
<v Speaker 2>I don't feel shamed because I ended up here. I

0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:31.720
<v Speaker 2>will feel ashamed of myself as I stay here and

0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:35.760
<v Speaker 2>a roommate, you know, would be great. I'm just I'm

0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.159
<v Speaker 2>so afraid that that's going to be it for the

0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.800
<v Speaker 2>rest of my life. Like I never got a chance

0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:43.680
<v Speaker 2>to have my own house. I never got a chance

0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:47.080
<v Speaker 2>to pay all the bills myself, you know, and I'm

0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:50.720
<v Speaker 2>already fifty seven years old. I just feel like I

0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:54.440
<v Speaker 2>haven't accomplished what I want to accomplish. And I mean,

0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:56.080
<v Speaker 2>I think one of the things that I want to

0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:59.560
<v Speaker 2>tell your listeners is I envy all of you guys

0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:02.000
<v Speaker 2>that are in your youth right now, and I just

0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:03.960
<v Speaker 2>want you to know that you're going to hit a

0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:05.840
<v Speaker 2>certain age and you're going to be like where did

0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:08.560
<v Speaker 2>the time go? And it's a scary thing. It's really

0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:09.400
<v Speaker 2>a scary thing.

0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:18.160
<v Speaker 1>I get it. I mean I don't get it because

0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:21.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm not there, and I'm sure when i'm there, i'll

0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:27.280
<v Speaker 1>get it. But like I guess, I just want to like, like,

0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:29.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to solve all of your life's problems

0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:35.520
<v Speaker 1>in this phone call, but I do want to get like, yeah,

0:18:35.560 --> 0:18:38.359
<v Speaker 1>taking all the emotion out of it and all the

0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:41.920
<v Speaker 1>age stuff out of it and just looking very plainly

0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:45.920
<v Speaker 1>at like what is between you and being happy and

0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:58.680
<v Speaker 1>like figuring that out a little bit. Have you talked

0:18:58.680 --> 0:18:59.960
<v Speaker 1>to your daughters about all this stuff.

0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:05.919
<v Speaker 2>My one daughter is listening right now, and I'm going

0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:10.280
<v Speaker 2>to tell you I have been. We are extremely close

0:19:10.880 --> 0:19:15.320
<v Speaker 2>and they know all about the difficulties when we were

0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:20.040
<v Speaker 2>all living together and what went on. And I raised

0:19:20.080 --> 0:19:22.600
<v Speaker 2>two very strong daughters. I just want you to know

0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:26.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm so proud of them. They're both completely opposite and different,

0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:30.520
<v Speaker 2>but they're both very strong women. And I feel like

0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:34.159
<v Speaker 2>that was my biggest accomplishment in my life, because I

0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:36.760
<v Speaker 2>didn't feel like I was strong and I didn't feel

0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:39.240
<v Speaker 2>like I was confident. And I am so glad that

0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:42.520
<v Speaker 2>I was able to give that to them. But they

0:19:42.600 --> 0:19:46.000
<v Speaker 2>can't fix my problem. I don't expect them to fix

0:19:46.040 --> 0:19:48.480
<v Speaker 2>my problem, although I do joke with them and tell

0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:50.679
<v Speaker 2>them when I'm geriatric, one of them is going to

0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:56.439
<v Speaker 2>be changing my diapers, you know, whichever daughter decides to

0:19:56.520 --> 0:19:58.080
<v Speaker 2>let me live with them when I can't take care

0:19:58.080 --> 0:19:59.000
<v Speaker 2>of myself anymore.

0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:05.760
<v Speaker 4>Okay, I want I I I'm very happy to hear

0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:10.120
<v Speaker 4>that you have a lot of pride in the way

0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:11.600
<v Speaker 4>that you raised your daughters.

0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:15.080
<v Speaker 1>That's huge, and I really think it is m hm.

0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:24.320
<v Speaker 1>I guess I'm trying to think, like, I hope, are

0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:25.760
<v Speaker 1>you Are you happy these days?

0:20:28.560 --> 0:20:32.320
<v Speaker 2>No? And in all honesty, other than having my children

0:20:32.680 --> 0:20:36.560
<v Speaker 2>and a few occasions here and there, I can't honestly

0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:39.720
<v Speaker 2>say that I've really been happy. Am I saying that

0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:43.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm like hugely depressed all the time? No, but I

0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:44.639
<v Speaker 2>don't know what that is.

0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:50.439
<v Speaker 1>I guess for good. I feel like I've asked you

0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:52.439
<v Speaker 1>this before over the course of this conversation, but just

0:20:52.440 --> 0:20:53.760
<v Speaker 1>to go back to it, what do you think would

0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:54.439
<v Speaker 1>make you happy?

0:20:57.960 --> 0:21:01.320
<v Speaker 2>Well? Number one, to get out of this living situation,

0:21:02.040 --> 0:21:04.720
<v Speaker 2>to make enough money to support myself and to be

0:21:04.760 --> 0:21:07.680
<v Speaker 2>able to start my business again. I would still work

0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:11.880
<v Speaker 2>my coffee house job because they have excellent insurance benefits

0:21:11.920 --> 0:21:14.680
<v Speaker 2>and I need those. Okay, they also give me free

0:21:14.720 --> 0:21:18.280
<v Speaker 2>stock and whatnot. I would definitely be able to start

0:21:18.320 --> 0:21:20.959
<v Speaker 2>this business at the part time. I could do it

0:21:21.000 --> 0:21:23.359
<v Speaker 2>in my spare time because it's all based from home,

0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:25.639
<v Speaker 2>unless I decided to go to an art show or

0:21:25.640 --> 0:21:30.720
<v Speaker 2>a craft show. My stopping point for that business is

0:21:31.359 --> 0:21:35.280
<v Speaker 2>I am not savvy to set up one of the

0:21:35.480 --> 0:21:41.600
<v Speaker 2>social media accounts for my pens. Maybe someone that's listening

0:21:42.200 --> 0:21:44.400
<v Speaker 2>is savvy and would be able to get in touch

0:21:44.400 --> 0:21:46.439
<v Speaker 2>with me and help me out because I.

0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:50.640
<v Speaker 1>Won't want you, I want to say, Susan, I I

0:21:50.760 --> 0:21:52.520
<v Speaker 1>you know you could. And I'm going to go back

0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:54.720
<v Speaker 1>to this because you talked about like when you were

0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:57.760
<v Speaker 1>you you you you did a little you did a

0:21:57.800 --> 0:22:01.280
<v Speaker 1>little woolf of Wall Street hustle and montage for me

0:22:02.640 --> 0:22:05.399
<v Speaker 1>before earlier this you did. You did. You were like

0:22:06.200 --> 0:22:08.439
<v Speaker 1>I was, you know, selling them to give shops, and

0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:10.720
<v Speaker 1>I was going through the white pages and I was

0:22:10.720 --> 0:22:12.560
<v Speaker 1>figuring out the marketing and I was getting really good

0:22:12.600 --> 0:22:15.760
<v Speaker 1>at it. It pissed off my husband. That's all all all

0:22:15.800 --> 0:22:18.720
<v Speaker 1>of that shit that's still that that was not a

0:22:19.880 --> 0:22:25.280
<v Speaker 1>that hustle and desire and all that stuff that's within you.

0:22:25.280 --> 0:22:28.760
<v Speaker 1>You can it's still I believe it's still in you

0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:33.800
<v Speaker 1>and can be applied to learning how to you know,

0:22:33.960 --> 0:22:38.560
<v Speaker 1>fucking make tiktoks and things. So I think you're giving

0:22:38.600 --> 0:22:41.280
<v Speaker 1>yourself not enough credit in terms of your ability to

0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:46.680
<v Speaker 1>uh figure out the figure outable things because again you went,

0:22:46.760 --> 0:22:49.879
<v Speaker 1>you gave me the whole Wolf of Wall Street montage

0:22:49.880 --> 0:22:53.080
<v Speaker 1>of you doing that you know, six years ago. And

0:22:53.119 --> 0:22:57.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't think your ability to do that, if I

0:22:57.040 --> 0:22:59.960
<v Speaker 1>could just get cheesy here for seconds. I think you're

0:23:00.040 --> 0:23:04.760
<v Speaker 1>ability to do that is potentially only limited by your

0:23:05.560 --> 0:23:11.960
<v Speaker 1>negative beliefs about yourself, which I get and I and

0:23:12.000 --> 0:23:13.800
<v Speaker 1>I get I don't want to be like a fucking

0:23:13.960 --> 0:23:19.359
<v Speaker 1>Tony Robbins dude, but like, you know what, what what

0:23:19.760 --> 0:23:20.760
<v Speaker 1>other shot that we have?

0:23:21.200 --> 0:23:21.439
<v Speaker 5>You know?

0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:25.200
<v Speaker 1>So, so I think you're not giving yourself enough credit

0:23:25.240 --> 0:23:28.160
<v Speaker 1>in terms of your potential to figure these things out.

0:23:28.920 --> 0:23:31.800
<v Speaker 1>And and I wish you did, because you seem really

0:23:31.800 --> 0:23:33.720
<v Speaker 1>cool and it seems like this is something that you like.

0:23:33.760 --> 0:23:37.879
<v Speaker 1>And I do think that you could do it at

0:23:37.960 --> 0:23:41.080
<v Speaker 1>least at least enough to like make some extra money,

0:23:41.080 --> 0:23:44.879
<v Speaker 1>even if you're not you know, building a whole fucking empire,

0:23:45.560 --> 0:23:50.359
<v Speaker 1>at least enough to get something going, you know, is

0:23:50.400 --> 0:23:52.000
<v Speaker 1>an Is any of this making sense to you?

0:23:52.600 --> 0:23:52.719
<v Speaker 4>Right?

0:23:54.320 --> 0:23:57.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? It is? Listen. I have had a day and

0:23:57.040 --> 0:23:59.840
<v Speaker 2>a half to lay here in my bed and think

0:24:00.040 --> 0:24:03.280
<v Speaker 2>about it because I brought a bug back from Portland.

0:24:03.560 --> 0:24:05.560
<v Speaker 2>My daughter ended up with COVID and I think I

0:24:05.680 --> 0:24:07.920
<v Speaker 2>just have a bad case of the flu. But I've

0:24:07.920 --> 0:24:10.720
<v Speaker 2>been laying in that sweating and just thinking about this stuff,

0:24:10.800 --> 0:24:13.280
<v Speaker 2>which is why I got up the courage to give

0:24:13.280 --> 0:24:16.199
<v Speaker 2>you a call because I really don't want to settle

0:24:16.240 --> 0:24:18.240
<v Speaker 2>like this anymore. I want to get out of here.

0:24:18.720 --> 0:24:20.000
<v Speaker 2>Life is short.

0:24:20.280 --> 0:24:24.480
<v Speaker 1>It is short, do it, Susan. I know, I know.

0:24:24.480 --> 0:24:25.920
<v Speaker 1>It's sorry. I know it's sorry. I hate. I hate.

0:24:25.960 --> 0:24:28.520
<v Speaker 1>It's like it's a bummer. I hate, I hate. You know.

0:24:29.200 --> 0:24:32.080
<v Speaker 1>I want to be motivational, but I also understand the

0:24:32.480 --> 0:24:37.959
<v Speaker 1>the difficulties that are present in just doing it. I

0:24:38.040 --> 0:24:39.200
<v Speaker 1>really really really do.

0:24:41.480 --> 0:24:41.720
<v Speaker 3>Yep.

0:24:41.840 --> 0:24:45.200
<v Speaker 1>But but but like fuck, Susan, at least give it

0:24:45.240 --> 0:24:45.600
<v Speaker 1>a try.

0:24:49.680 --> 0:24:51.680
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm gonna I'm gonna send you some pictures

0:24:51.680 --> 0:24:53.399
<v Speaker 2>of my pens when we get off the phone, and

0:24:53.440 --> 0:24:53.760
<v Speaker 2>you can.

0:24:53.680 --> 0:24:54.240
<v Speaker 3>Look at them.

0:24:54.560 --> 0:24:57.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'll take a look at your pens. What do

0:24:57.040 --> 0:24:59.240
<v Speaker 1>you have a Do you have any social media set

0:24:59.320 --> 0:24:59.960
<v Speaker 1>up on your pens?

0:25:02.600 --> 0:25:05.160
<v Speaker 2>No? I just you know, I've got a regular Facebook,

0:25:05.200 --> 0:25:07.359
<v Speaker 2>and I will post them on there occasionally, but I

0:25:07.359 --> 0:25:11.600
<v Speaker 2>don't want to ever really looking at everything there. All right, Well,

0:25:11.760 --> 0:25:13.879
<v Speaker 2>but when I get one, I will share it with you.

0:25:14.800 --> 0:25:18.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Well, Susan, I'm glad that I'm glad. I hope

0:25:18.480 --> 0:25:21.960
<v Speaker 1>that this phone call was enjoyable for you. I appreciate

0:25:22.160 --> 0:25:24.439
<v Speaker 1>you calling in and talking about all this stuff. I

0:25:24.480 --> 0:25:30.560
<v Speaker 1>hope it was of some positive benefit to you. And

0:25:33.320 --> 0:25:34.600
<v Speaker 1>thanks for sharing all of this.

0:25:36.960 --> 0:25:39.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I just want to thank you because you're

0:25:39.680 --> 0:25:44.760
<v Speaker 2>giving my daughter and I another form of bonding by

0:25:44.800 --> 0:25:47.960
<v Speaker 2>sharing in your show. So I appreciate you very much.

0:25:48.359 --> 0:25:52.719
<v Speaker 1>Of course, and talking to you, I'm now realizing that

0:25:52.760 --> 0:25:56.199
<v Speaker 1>the Canadian accent and the Midwestern accent sound very similar,

0:25:56.240 --> 0:25:58.480
<v Speaker 1>because I thought you were a Canadian for a little bit,

0:25:58.680 --> 0:25:59.480
<v Speaker 1>and I remembered your.

0:25:59.440 --> 0:26:02.119
<v Speaker 2>Midwestern because it's from Chicago.

0:26:04.119 --> 0:26:05.680
<v Speaker 1>Uh, soonon, So anything else you want to say to

0:26:05.720 --> 0:26:06.840
<v Speaker 1>the people the computer before we.

0:26:06.760 --> 0:26:12.399
<v Speaker 2>Go, No, just I love everyone on your show, and

0:26:12.440 --> 0:26:15.320
<v Speaker 2>I like all the comments and all the suggestions, and

0:26:15.400 --> 0:26:18.160
<v Speaker 2>thank you so much for listening. I appreciate you having

0:26:18.119 --> 0:26:18.439
<v Speaker 2>an night.

0:26:18.480 --> 0:26:21.960
<v Speaker 1>Susan, thank you you too.

0:26:22.160 --> 0:26:22.560
<v Speaker 2>Bye bye.

0:26:26.119 --> 0:26:28.399
<v Speaker 1>Hm. I'm trying to think. I mean, I use pens

0:26:29.960 --> 0:26:34.480
<v Speaker 1>to people, people still write stuff. Every year, people use

0:26:34.520 --> 0:26:39.680
<v Speaker 1>pens a little bit less. But I mean, damn, okay,

0:26:39.680 --> 0:26:41.679
<v Speaker 1>I just tried to be motivational. But then I'm now

0:26:41.680 --> 0:26:43.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, yeah, every year, people use pens a little

0:26:43.600 --> 0:26:45.359
<v Speaker 1>bit less. I mean it's I want to be I

0:26:45.400 --> 0:26:53.480
<v Speaker 1>want to be motivational, but also not lie. Every year

0:26:53.480 --> 0:26:56.480
<v Speaker 1>people use pens less, but in terms of like the

0:26:56.560 --> 0:27:02.119
<v Speaker 1>not like the people who fucking are like connoisseurs and

0:27:02.200 --> 0:27:11.160
<v Speaker 1>appreciators of like artisan pens. You know those people. Every

0:27:11.240 --> 0:27:15.800
<v Speaker 1>year a lot of them die because it's usually elderly people.

0:27:17.720 --> 0:27:20.560
<v Speaker 1>But maybe they have children and they teach their children

0:27:20.640 --> 0:27:25.960
<v Speaker 1>to appreciate pens. Do the pens, think, Susan, do it,

0:27:26.720 --> 0:27:28.040
<v Speaker 1>do it, and let's see what I don't want to

0:27:28.160 --> 0:27:30.280
<v Speaker 1>because I could sit here in conjecture, but there's only

0:27:30.359 --> 0:27:33.040
<v Speaker 1>one way to find out if it'll work. All right,

0:27:34.119 --> 0:27:35.680
<v Speaker 1>I want to eat a pen right now. I don't

0:27:35.680 --> 0:27:37.960
<v Speaker 1>know why.

0:27:38.760 --> 0:27:44.600
<v Speaker 3>Hello, Hello, how are you? Hello? Lyle?

0:27:45.520 --> 0:27:45.760
<v Speaker 1>Yes?

0:27:46.400 --> 0:27:46.840
<v Speaker 3>What's up?

0:27:46.920 --> 0:27:47.120
<v Speaker 1>Man?

0:27:47.240 --> 0:27:47.639
<v Speaker 5>How are you?

0:27:48.240 --> 0:27:56.440
<v Speaker 1>How much? How are you? I'm just telling, uh, what's new?

0:27:56.480 --> 0:27:57.120
<v Speaker 1>What's going on?

0:28:00.240 --> 0:28:03.080
<v Speaker 3>Just chilling? Nothing's new. You want to hear my story?

0:28:04.200 --> 0:28:06.800
<v Speaker 1>Uh, tell me to start with the middle. What's the

0:28:06.840 --> 0:28:08.520
<v Speaker 1>middle of the story.

0:28:09.200 --> 0:28:11.840
<v Speaker 3>The middle of the story is I'm dangling by my

0:28:11.880 --> 0:28:13.240
<v Speaker 3>fingertips on a billboard.

0:28:13.880 --> 0:28:16.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's a good middle. Yeah, let's hear the whole thing.

0:28:18.520 --> 0:28:23.640
<v Speaker 3>All right. So I was I was with my homies

0:28:23.680 --> 0:28:27.760
<v Speaker 3>and we were doing some graffiti, and we decided to

0:28:27.800 --> 0:28:34.439
<v Speaker 3>go hit this billboard, and we climbed up like forty

0:28:34.480 --> 0:28:37.560
<v Speaker 3>feet on an I beam and I tried to pull

0:28:37.640 --> 0:28:38.360
<v Speaker 3>myself up.

0:28:38.960 --> 0:28:44.160
<v Speaker 1>Fuck, I'm nervous, bro, You're nervous. You were you were dangling,

0:28:45.120 --> 0:28:49.800
<v Speaker 1>You almost died, and you're nervous talking to an insane

0:28:50.080 --> 0:28:56.160
<v Speaker 1>guy and a gecko pajamas on website. You almost died, man,

0:28:56.240 --> 0:29:01.280
<v Speaker 1>you can do anything. Who are you? Tell me the story?

0:29:01.360 --> 0:29:01.720
<v Speaker 2>All right?

0:29:02.040 --> 0:29:06.600
<v Speaker 3>So I climbed like forty feet up an ibam and

0:29:07.320 --> 0:29:10.480
<v Speaker 3>by the time I got up the ibeam, I was like,

0:29:11.000 --> 0:29:14.840
<v Speaker 3>hella out of strength. So I tried to pull myself up,

0:29:15.360 --> 0:29:18.800
<v Speaker 3>and I was dangling by my fingertips because I couldn't

0:29:18.800 --> 0:29:22.040
<v Speaker 3>pull myself up, and then I had to like let

0:29:22.120 --> 0:29:26.000
<v Speaker 3>go and slide down the ibam. And I was in jeans,

0:29:26.000 --> 0:29:29.560
<v Speaker 3>shorts and a tank top. So I cut myself up

0:29:29.760 --> 0:29:33.120
<v Speaker 3>hella bad and fell like forty feet to the ground.

0:29:33.640 --> 0:29:37.520
<v Speaker 3>But I didn't even break any bones or anything. That

0:29:37.600 --> 0:29:38.440
<v Speaker 3>shit was crazy.

0:29:39.120 --> 0:29:41.080
<v Speaker 1>You fell forty feet too, So okay, So you were

0:29:41.160 --> 0:29:43.280
<v Speaker 1>dangling and you fell like so you like kind of

0:29:43.360 --> 0:29:44.400
<v Speaker 1>slid down a pole.

0:29:45.960 --> 0:29:48.560
<v Speaker 3>I had to let go of the grip that I

0:29:48.600 --> 0:29:53.440
<v Speaker 3>had on the billboard and grabbed the ibam and basically

0:29:53.560 --> 0:30:00.680
<v Speaker 3>hug it and slide down it forty feet. It was like, yeah,

0:30:00.800 --> 0:30:02.040
<v Speaker 3>for thirty or forty feet.

0:30:02.080 --> 0:30:07.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what was the billboard for, dude.

0:30:07.240 --> 0:30:08.520
<v Speaker 3>I couldn't tell you, honestly.

0:30:09.680 --> 0:30:13.000
<v Speaker 1>You have hit a lot of billboards when you tagged it.

0:30:14.760 --> 0:30:16.640
<v Speaker 3>I didn't tag it. I didn't even get all the

0:30:16.640 --> 0:30:17.360
<v Speaker 3>way up I was.

0:30:17.920 --> 0:30:20.600
<v Speaker 1>I was with two other friends, like a billboard for

0:30:20.720 --> 0:30:24.320
<v Speaker 1>like breast cancer research or something, and you were fucking.

0:30:27.400 --> 0:30:27.560
<v Speaker 5>You know.

0:30:27.600 --> 0:30:30.280
<v Speaker 3>It's funny. Okay, First of all, I wouldn't have done

0:30:30.280 --> 0:30:34.280
<v Speaker 3>a penis because I'm actually I'm Hella Raw. We were

0:30:34.280 --> 0:30:36.960
<v Speaker 3>gonna do some so bast pieces up there. But it's

0:30:36.960 --> 0:30:39.440
<v Speaker 3>funny that you should mention that because I've hit a

0:30:39.480 --> 0:30:42.400
<v Speaker 3>lot of billboards and I have a pattern of not

0:30:42.520 --> 0:30:45.280
<v Speaker 3>looking at what they say before I get on them.

0:30:45.600 --> 0:30:50.320
<v Speaker 3>And I've hit one for an adoption agency. And one

0:30:50.360 --> 0:30:52.800
<v Speaker 3>time I got up on one and it was for

0:30:52.880 --> 0:30:59.720
<v Speaker 3>like autism awareness, and I was like, you know, I

0:30:59.720 --> 0:31:02.320
<v Speaker 3>would I feel too bad to go over that one.

0:31:02.480 --> 0:31:05.760
<v Speaker 3>So I ripped the billboard off and I painted underneath it,

0:31:06.040 --> 0:31:07.880
<v Speaker 3>so I have You're.

0:31:07.640 --> 0:31:12.600
<v Speaker 1>The first person I've ever met that has used art

0:31:13.000 --> 0:31:15.240
<v Speaker 1>to make the lives of children worse.

0:31:18.120 --> 0:31:21.600
<v Speaker 3>You know what, You have a point there, but it

0:31:21.720 --> 0:31:22.800
<v Speaker 3>was not bad intentions.

0:31:24.160 --> 0:31:29.120
<v Speaker 1>So so you so you you defiled an autism awareness

0:31:29.120 --> 0:31:30.600
<v Speaker 1>billboard to make one.

0:31:30.440 --> 0:31:34.720
<v Speaker 4>Of those no no I off things.

0:31:36.040 --> 0:31:38.840
<v Speaker 3>I ripped it off and I threw it off, and

0:31:38.880 --> 0:31:40.360
<v Speaker 3>then I painted underneath it.

0:31:40.840 --> 0:31:42.200
<v Speaker 1>What did you paint underneath it?

0:31:44.000 --> 0:31:45.560
<v Speaker 3>I am not going to tell you because I gave

0:31:46.000 --> 0:31:47.240
<v Speaker 3>the color of my real name.

0:31:50.400 --> 0:31:52.680
<v Speaker 1>Wait, hold on, I wait, okay, So okay, so we

0:31:52.800 --> 0:31:55.200
<v Speaker 1>know it's something you would not want to be associated with.

0:31:56.760 --> 0:31:59.720
<v Speaker 3>Well, it's the secret name. I'm a graffiti writer. I've

0:31:59.720 --> 0:32:01.800
<v Speaker 3>been in I've been writing graffiti for a long time.

0:32:02.400 --> 0:32:04.200
<v Speaker 1>What did you What did you write under the board?

0:32:04.800 --> 0:32:06.040
<v Speaker 1>What did you put it under there?

0:32:06.200 --> 0:32:08.000
<v Speaker 3>Did we did we say my name on there?

0:32:08.600 --> 0:32:10.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I can bleep it out if you want.

0:32:11.720 --> 0:32:22.320
<v Speaker 3>All right, Well, smiler, smiler, smiler, you wrote no, I

0:32:22.360 --> 0:32:26.600
<v Speaker 3>wrote smiler? What is that's my name? That's well, that's

0:32:26.600 --> 0:32:27.120
<v Speaker 3>what I write?

0:32:28.920 --> 0:32:31.200
<v Speaker 1>Did you put you? So you just put your own name?

0:32:33.240 --> 0:32:33.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:32:33.960 --> 0:32:38.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you climbed for you totally deserved the thing that

0:32:38.240 --> 0:32:40.560
<v Speaker 1>happened to you at the beginning of this. You climbed,

0:32:41.160 --> 0:32:46.000
<v Speaker 1>n you climbed the billboard, to get rid of an

0:32:46.040 --> 0:32:49.560
<v Speaker 1>autism awareness ad to write your.

0:32:49.360 --> 0:32:55.000
<v Speaker 3>Own no, well, to be to be clear, these are

0:32:55.040 --> 0:32:56.040
<v Speaker 3>separate instances.

0:32:56.640 --> 0:33:00.240
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, basically, somebody in the chat just seven aisle

0:33:00.320 --> 0:33:03.040
<v Speaker 1>doesn't get graffiti. I don't know if this is me

0:33:03.160 --> 0:33:04.560
<v Speaker 1>not getting graffiti.

0:33:06.960 --> 0:33:10.120
<v Speaker 3>Couldn't you have I think could get it, and you.

0:33:10.120 --> 0:33:13.240
<v Speaker 1>Have picked like a fucking Crispy Kreme at or something

0:33:13.280 --> 0:33:14.720
<v Speaker 1>other than autism awareness.

0:33:16.800 --> 0:33:21.800
<v Speaker 3>I just I choked that up to unawareness because truly

0:33:21.920 --> 0:33:23.760
<v Speaker 3>I didn't look at what it said before I went

0:33:23.880 --> 0:33:24.200
<v Speaker 3>up there.

0:33:25.680 --> 0:33:30.840
<v Speaker 1>Awareness is important, I like, I like you were like,

0:33:31.920 --> 0:33:35.880
<v Speaker 1>it's much more important for people to see my name

0:33:38.040 --> 0:33:38.880
<v Speaker 1>than to see this.

0:33:39.280 --> 0:33:41.760
<v Speaker 3>Well, let me let me ask you something. What's the

0:33:41.800 --> 0:33:45.280
<v Speaker 3>difference between me doing it and the advertisement agency doing it?

0:33:46.200 --> 0:33:47.120
<v Speaker 1>What are you talking about?

0:33:49.080 --> 0:33:50.480
<v Speaker 3>It's just that they paid for it.

0:33:55.280 --> 0:33:58.760
<v Speaker 1>What they did, the charity paid for people donate to

0:33:58.840 --> 0:34:05.320
<v Speaker 1>autism Okay, sure, and then and then they're funding your

0:34:05.480 --> 0:34:06.320
<v Speaker 1>stupid tank.

0:34:08.200 --> 0:34:11.719
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that was an outlying instance. I've hit a lot

0:34:11.760 --> 0:34:14.200
<v Speaker 3>of billboards. They're not all like that, you know.

0:34:14.280 --> 0:34:16.400
<v Speaker 1>Tell me which was tell me about the adoption agency one?

0:34:16.400 --> 0:34:17.200
<v Speaker 1>What did you put on there?

0:34:18.840 --> 0:34:21.319
<v Speaker 3>I wrote? Smiler? I wrote smiler on every single one

0:34:21.320 --> 0:34:21.640
<v Speaker 3>of them.

0:34:21.920 --> 0:34:23.960
<v Speaker 1>You didn't even write, and you didn't. Here's the thing,

0:34:24.000 --> 0:34:26.440
<v Speaker 1>if you had replaced it, if you like, if you

0:34:26.480 --> 0:34:31.280
<v Speaker 1>were bidding for attention with a greater cause of some kind,

0:34:32.000 --> 0:34:34.560
<v Speaker 1>like if I don't know, even if you like had

0:34:34.600 --> 0:34:39.279
<v Speaker 1>some kind of pretentious message behind, even if you drew

0:34:39.280 --> 0:34:44.000
<v Speaker 1>a little fucking like I or something and you were like, well,

0:34:44.000 --> 0:34:47.279
<v Speaker 1>this I represents world peace around. Even if you had

0:34:47.400 --> 0:34:52.480
<v Speaker 1>intentions of some kind of a nice message of something,

0:34:53.239 --> 0:34:56.239
<v Speaker 1>it would still be douchey. But I but I would

0:34:56.280 --> 0:34:59.120
<v Speaker 1>be like, Okay, at least he thought he was doing something,

0:34:59.560 --> 0:35:03.000
<v Speaker 1>but you just tore it down to write your fucking name.

0:35:04.600 --> 0:35:05.000
<v Speaker 1>You know what.

0:35:06.600 --> 0:35:08.759
<v Speaker 3>I was on a sick one, Lyle. I was on

0:35:08.840 --> 0:35:09.399
<v Speaker 3>a sick one.

0:35:10.480 --> 0:35:11.200
<v Speaker 1>What does that mean?

0:35:13.120 --> 0:35:15.560
<v Speaker 3>It means I was acting crazy and I wasn't. I

0:35:15.680 --> 0:35:17.760
<v Speaker 3>wasn't worried about anything in that moment.

0:35:18.880 --> 0:35:23.319
<v Speaker 1>Okay, tell me, do you write smiler on all of them?

0:35:23.400 --> 0:35:30.719
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Yeah, dude, one day, but billboards aren't all it, dude.

0:35:30.719 --> 0:35:32.719
<v Speaker 1>One day, there's gonna be one of those kids at

0:35:32.719 --> 0:35:36.200
<v Speaker 1>the at the orphanage is gonna make it big in

0:35:36.480 --> 0:35:40.239
<v Speaker 1>uh politics in your local area. Yeah, they're gonna They're

0:35:40.280 --> 0:35:43.840
<v Speaker 1>gonna fucking come for smiler, dude.

0:35:44.000 --> 0:35:46.319
<v Speaker 3>I'll I'll accept it. I'll accept my fate.

0:35:46.360 --> 0:35:51.520
<v Speaker 1>At that point, you're gonna get what's that movie Orphan Black?

0:35:53.760 --> 0:35:54.640
<v Speaker 3>I've never heard of it.

0:35:54.880 --> 0:35:57.440
<v Speaker 1>I've never heard of it either. I just is that

0:35:57.480 --> 0:36:02.319
<v Speaker 1>a real Is that a real show Orphan Black? Or

0:36:02.360 --> 0:36:06.760
<v Speaker 1>is that a movie?

0:36:07.239 --> 0:36:08.600
<v Speaker 3>I don't know. I don't know this movie.

0:36:08.760 --> 0:36:10.759
<v Speaker 1>What's about the chat is saying Somebody in the chat

0:36:10.760 --> 0:36:12.840
<v Speaker 1>is saying, Brandon, we can keep all this chat stuff in.

0:36:13.080 --> 0:36:17.719
<v Speaker 1>Somebody in the chat is saying that autism speaks as

0:36:17.760 --> 0:36:19.840
<v Speaker 1>a hate group. I don't know why I repeated that.

0:36:19.880 --> 0:36:22.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't want if that's I don't think that's true.

0:36:22.880 --> 0:36:26.160
<v Speaker 1>But I have no idea. I'm not going to google

0:36:26.160 --> 0:36:30.239
<v Speaker 1>that is No, I'm not repeating that. Okay, what else?

0:36:30.360 --> 0:36:32.720
<v Speaker 1>What else have you got? What other billboards.

0:36:34.000 --> 0:36:34.200
<v Speaker 2>Down?

0:36:35.840 --> 0:36:37.600
<v Speaker 3>I've hit a lot of billboards, to be honest, I

0:36:37.640 --> 0:36:39.920
<v Speaker 3>probably couldn't remember what a lot of them said. But

0:36:41.000 --> 0:36:43.680
<v Speaker 3>I'm pretty much done hitting billboards. If it makes you

0:36:43.719 --> 0:36:45.799
<v Speaker 3>feel comfortable, because I almost died doing it.

0:36:45.960 --> 0:36:48.759
<v Speaker 1>Wait, hold on, okay, somebody, actually, this might hold on.

0:36:48.800 --> 0:36:49.919
<v Speaker 1>This might be your lucky day.

0:36:49.920 --> 0:36:50.040
<v Speaker 4>Man.

0:36:50.080 --> 0:36:52.000
<v Speaker 1>A lot of people in the chat are saying that

0:36:52.120 --> 0:36:57.240
<v Speaker 1>Autism Speaks is like a bad group. Let me google

0:36:57.280 --> 0:36:57.920
<v Speaker 1>this real quick.

0:36:58.160 --> 0:37:06.480
<v Speaker 3>Okay, all right, damn, they're fucking with me. Well, I'll

0:37:06.640 --> 0:37:09.720
<v Speaker 3>bring it back to my original point. There was no intention.

0:37:09.960 --> 0:37:12.799
<v Speaker 3>I didn't know what it said. So you could praise me,

0:37:12.840 --> 0:37:15.359
<v Speaker 3>you could hate me. I didn't do I didn't really

0:37:15.360 --> 0:37:15.920
<v Speaker 3>do anything.

0:37:19.640 --> 0:37:21.000
<v Speaker 1>I listen, here's the thing. I'm not going to put

0:37:21.040 --> 0:37:24.080
<v Speaker 1>Autism Speaks on blast. I don't know anything about them.

0:37:24.120 --> 0:37:31.600
<v Speaker 1>But apparently, apparently, apparently it's people are torn on it.

0:37:31.760 --> 0:37:34.680
<v Speaker 1>So you're you're not You're not going to be universally

0:37:35.280 --> 0:37:38.719
<v Speaker 1>condemned for your actions. But I don't know. I have

0:37:38.760 --> 0:37:42.480
<v Speaker 1>no idea. Tell me some other billboards that you've defiled.

0:37:44.320 --> 0:37:47.759
<v Speaker 3>Well, I can't remember all of them. It's been it's

0:37:47.760 --> 0:37:50.440
<v Speaker 3>been a long time, you know, it's been a long

0:37:50.480 --> 0:37:51.360
<v Speaker 3>time I've been doing this.

0:37:54.920 --> 0:37:56.919
<v Speaker 1>You fucked over some kids, you did, you did?

0:37:57.800 --> 0:37:58.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:37:58.160 --> 0:38:00.759
<v Speaker 1>Can you admit you fucked over with some kids?

0:38:02.200 --> 0:38:06.879
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Yeah, okay, you know, yeah, you're right. I didn't

0:38:06.880 --> 0:38:09.719
<v Speaker 3>look at that one before I got up. Also, and

0:38:09.760 --> 0:38:11.840
<v Speaker 3>you know what, you know what, honestly, I hit an

0:38:11.880 --> 0:38:15.880
<v Speaker 3>Apple one, an Apple one, an Apple billboard for the

0:38:15.920 --> 0:38:17.560
<v Speaker 3>iPhone have you fucked?

0:38:17.600 --> 0:38:20.840
<v Speaker 1>Have you hit like because you know what, you actually

0:38:20.840 --> 0:38:22.680
<v Speaker 1>fucked over a lot of people. Also because it's some

0:38:22.960 --> 0:38:24.840
<v Speaker 1>because I know you've hit hundreds of billboards and you

0:38:24.880 --> 0:38:27.440
<v Speaker 1>don't even know what it is. Some very hungry trucker

0:38:28.640 --> 0:38:33.120
<v Speaker 1>drove drove by exit thirty five without having any idea

0:38:33.960 --> 0:38:37.520
<v Speaker 1>that there was a McDonald's there, and you fucked that guy.

0:38:37.880 --> 0:38:42.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I would argue that if someone wants McDonald's, they're

0:38:42.080 --> 0:38:44.279
<v Speaker 3>going to see it. You know, they're going to find it.

0:38:45.840 --> 0:38:47.560
<v Speaker 3>That billboard isn't going to make too much.

0:38:47.400 --> 0:38:50.440
<v Speaker 1>Of a difference. So are you a full time graffiti

0:38:50.560 --> 0:38:52.399
<v Speaker 1>artist or does that not make a lot of money?

0:38:52.480 --> 0:38:53.440
<v Speaker 3>No, I'm a tattooer.

0:38:53.480 --> 0:38:57.480
<v Speaker 1>Actually, okay, you're graffitiing people's body.

0:38:57.320 --> 0:39:02.919
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yep, tagging people's bodies. I'm on, I'm on tour

0:39:03.000 --> 0:39:03.840
<v Speaker 3>right now with tattooing.

0:39:04.239 --> 0:39:06.920
<v Speaker 1>Give me some Give me some tattoos that you've done recently.

0:39:10.440 --> 0:39:14.239
<v Speaker 3>I did lover in graffiti letters on my friend's collarbones.

0:39:15.400 --> 0:39:17.760
<v Speaker 3>I've been doing a lot of like alien ship lately,

0:39:18.440 --> 0:39:22.600
<v Speaker 3>like aliens with like four shortened guns and like all

0:39:22.719 --> 0:39:27.000
<v Speaker 3>kinds of just sci fi ship. My thing right now

0:39:27.120 --> 0:39:30.440
<v Speaker 3>is kind of like characters with big shoes, and I'm like,

0:39:30.480 --> 0:39:33.040
<v Speaker 3>hella into fashion, so I just dressed them up in

0:39:33.080 --> 0:39:36.600
<v Speaker 3>like cool ass like trip pants and like new rock

0:39:36.680 --> 0:39:38.000
<v Speaker 3>shoes that type of ship.

0:39:38.800 --> 0:39:42.000
<v Speaker 1>Like uh, like like who what characters?

0:39:42.840 --> 0:39:42.920
<v Speaker 2>My?

0:39:43.280 --> 0:39:45.279
<v Speaker 3>Just these little characters that I draw, just little like

0:39:45.480 --> 0:39:46.080
<v Speaker 3>little brass.

0:39:48.640 --> 0:39:51.120
<v Speaker 1>I thought he was drawing, like like, uh, I was

0:39:51.120 --> 0:39:53.200
<v Speaker 1>gonna say I was gonna use Mickey Mouse, but that

0:39:53.280 --> 0:39:56.080
<v Speaker 1>would be a bad example because he already has big.

0:39:55.880 --> 0:39:59.680
<v Speaker 3>Shoes, yeah he does, and big ears.

0:40:00.520 --> 0:40:01.640
<v Speaker 1>How long you have been tattooed for.

0:40:03.440 --> 0:40:05.759
<v Speaker 3>Like two and a half years. I've been full time

0:40:05.800 --> 0:40:08.239
<v Speaker 3>tattooing for like a year. Though.

0:40:10.880 --> 0:40:12.640
<v Speaker 1>What were you doing before you were tattoo artist?

0:40:14.160 --> 0:40:16.719
<v Speaker 3>I did a bunch of shit, but just random ass

0:40:16.800 --> 0:40:23.319
<v Speaker 3>jobs like grocery stores, you know, cafeterias, dishwashing, sweeping, just

0:40:23.480 --> 0:40:24.200
<v Speaker 3>random ass ship.

0:40:25.400 --> 0:40:27.040
<v Speaker 1>A few people in the chat are asking what your

0:40:27.040 --> 0:40:29.000
<v Speaker 1>Instagram is. You can't I know that you wanted to

0:40:29.000 --> 0:40:31.800
<v Speaker 1>stay You can if you want.

0:40:32.640 --> 0:40:34.839
<v Speaker 3>If they if they know they know, and they might

0:40:34.920 --> 0:40:36.200
<v Speaker 3>know lyle they might.

0:40:37.520 --> 0:40:39.280
<v Speaker 1>You know what. I think that was a good idea.

0:40:39.320 --> 0:40:47.160
<v Speaker 1>You sacrificed a good free self promotion bit in favor

0:40:47.200 --> 0:40:51.319
<v Speaker 1>of not putting a face to the guy who defiled

0:40:51.360 --> 0:40:58.840
<v Speaker 1>the adoption billboard. Now you are so so, you're so

0:40:58.880 --> 0:41:00.239
<v Speaker 1>ever since the accident, you're giving up.

0:41:02.120 --> 0:41:04.319
<v Speaker 3>No, I'm not giving up on graffiti, just not like

0:41:04.400 --> 0:41:07.279
<v Speaker 3>climbing like that. I learned it's not really worth it

0:41:07.360 --> 0:41:08.160
<v Speaker 3>to risk my life.

0:41:08.560 --> 0:41:11.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I feel like that was crazy. Yeah, I mean

0:41:11.200 --> 0:41:12.759
<v Speaker 1>I feel like it's a karma thing.

0:41:14.640 --> 0:41:17.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you could be right. You could be right. Believe me,

0:41:17.239 --> 0:41:18.040
<v Speaker 3>I've thought about that.

0:41:18.360 --> 0:41:21.880
<v Speaker 1>There was definitely a few orphans late at night greasing

0:41:22.000 --> 0:41:23.879
<v Speaker 1>up that billboard poll.

0:41:25.800 --> 0:41:28.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah yeah, and.

0:41:28.239 --> 0:41:32.400
<v Speaker 1>Wow, where else are you going to tag now or

0:41:33.760 --> 0:41:35.600
<v Speaker 1>have retired from billboards?

0:41:36.719 --> 0:41:39.319
<v Speaker 3>Well, sit Portland and then Seattle. That's what we're doing

0:41:39.400 --> 0:41:45.560
<v Speaker 3>right now. But anywhere I'm considerate, you know, like I

0:41:45.640 --> 0:41:47.879
<v Speaker 3>know you were, dude. You know what's fucked up? Because

0:41:47.880 --> 0:41:49.839
<v Speaker 3>I was supposed to be at your San Francisco show.

0:41:49.880 --> 0:41:52.520
<v Speaker 3>I had a ticket and I I couldn't go.

0:41:53.080 --> 0:41:53.520
<v Speaker 1>Why not.

0:41:55.160 --> 0:41:56.080
<v Speaker 3>Because I got sick?

0:41:56.800 --> 0:41:59.479
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, good reason.

0:42:00.080 --> 0:42:02.640
<v Speaker 3>Hey, look at that. I didn't put anybody at risk.

0:42:02.719 --> 0:42:03.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm a good person.

0:42:05.320 --> 0:42:06.279
<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, we'll give you.

0:42:08.480 --> 0:42:12.319
<v Speaker 3>There we go. What I was looking forward to it, man,

0:42:12.440 --> 0:42:14.279
<v Speaker 3>I was looking forward to I bought it like months

0:42:14.280 --> 0:42:15.040
<v Speaker 3>in advance too.

0:42:15.160 --> 0:42:16.480
<v Speaker 1>It was a it was a good show that the

0:42:16.480 --> 0:42:18.640
<v Speaker 1>San Francisco one. It was was it was good.

0:42:18.840 --> 0:42:22.279
<v Speaker 3>I'll be my friend. My friend went.

0:42:23.200 --> 0:42:23.719
<v Speaker 1>Did they like it?

0:42:26.080 --> 0:42:29.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, he liked it. He's also tattooer. He's here

0:42:29.200 --> 0:42:32.839
<v Speaker 3>with me. Yeah, he's also a tattooer. He was there

0:42:32.840 --> 0:42:37.080
<v Speaker 3>when I almost died. We had another crazy thing happened

0:42:37.160 --> 0:42:39.000
<v Speaker 3>yesterday and in the name.

0:42:38.880 --> 0:42:40.640
<v Speaker 1>Of graffiti, what was it.

0:42:43.520 --> 0:42:47.319
<v Speaker 3>So we're up here tattooing in Portland right now. But

0:42:47.400 --> 0:42:49.120
<v Speaker 3>we had to stop and get some spray paint on

0:42:49.160 --> 0:42:53.600
<v Speaker 3>the way and he, I'm too scared to steal. But

0:42:53.719 --> 0:42:58.359
<v Speaker 3>he went into home depot in Salem, Oregon. Damn, I'm

0:42:58.360 --> 0:43:02.080
<v Speaker 3>giving up all the for me. But he went into

0:43:02.120 --> 0:43:05.160
<v Speaker 3>home depot and he tried to steel paint and he

0:43:05.280 --> 0:43:07.640
<v Speaker 3>ended up having to run and like hopping fences and

0:43:07.680 --> 0:43:09.920
<v Speaker 3>ship and I don't even have a license, but I

0:43:09.960 --> 0:43:12.560
<v Speaker 3>had to take his car and pull over on the

0:43:12.600 --> 0:43:15.319
<v Speaker 3>freeway where he was hiding in the bushes like there

0:43:15.360 --> 0:43:17.640
<v Speaker 3>was no shoulder, but I had to like pull over

0:43:17.800 --> 0:43:19.960
<v Speaker 3>up onto a hill and he like ran hell a

0:43:20.080 --> 0:43:22.719
<v Speaker 3>far and got in the car and and we're good.

0:43:22.800 --> 0:43:23.839
<v Speaker 3>But that happened too.

0:43:25.120 --> 0:43:27.680
<v Speaker 1>He's right, gets you into a lot of trouble.

0:43:29.239 --> 0:43:31.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, it does. You know, I have a question?

0:43:31.840 --> 0:43:35.480
<v Speaker 1>Low, Yeah, I give your friend the phone, all right,

0:43:36.040 --> 0:43:36.760
<v Speaker 1>thank you? Bye?

0:43:37.800 --> 0:43:38.400
<v Speaker 3>Hey, what's up?

0:43:38.440 --> 0:43:38.720
<v Speaker 5>Dude?

0:43:39.040 --> 0:43:39.560
<v Speaker 1>Hey, what's up?

0:43:39.560 --> 0:43:44.319
<v Speaker 3>Man? I caught me and my friends. We did like

0:43:44.360 --> 0:43:47.080
<v Speaker 3>some therapy Gecko tags outside of the show. Did you

0:43:47.080 --> 0:43:48.160
<v Speaker 3>see those tiny chaps?

0:43:48.239 --> 0:43:52.200
<v Speaker 1>Wait? You did therapy echo tags? I want Yeah, I

0:43:53.160 --> 0:43:56.279
<v Speaker 1>just say this on record real quick? Can I can

0:43:56.280 --> 0:43:59.759
<v Speaker 1>you use a second I in no way, shape or

0:43:59.760 --> 0:44:07.400
<v Speaker 1>form support the defiling of any adoption agency advertisements in

0:44:07.480 --> 0:44:10.439
<v Speaker 1>the name advertisements.

0:44:11.960 --> 0:44:14.600
<v Speaker 3>It's good. It was like on a bus stop ad

0:44:15.040 --> 0:44:20.760
<v Speaker 3>like some random ship just on the glass, and that dude,

0:44:20.960 --> 0:44:22.040
<v Speaker 3>who knows they get changed?

0:44:22.080 --> 0:44:23.279
<v Speaker 1>What do you mean you can't? What do you mean

0:44:23.320 --> 0:44:23.719
<v Speaker 1>who knows?

0:44:23.760 --> 0:44:24.359
<v Speaker 2>We dude?

0:44:24.400 --> 0:44:25.520
<v Speaker 1>Have we not been over there?

0:44:25.800 --> 0:44:26.600
<v Speaker 3>You get yo? Yeah?

0:44:26.640 --> 0:44:34.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah they little Saint Jude's Hospital and wrote therapy Gecko.

0:44:34.200 --> 0:44:38.000
<v Speaker 3>Didn't you That would be heinous, that would be sucked up.

0:44:38.120 --> 0:44:42.960
<v Speaker 3>But you know, like it's just being outside and playing

0:44:43.000 --> 0:44:45.200
<v Speaker 3>around like it's I don't know, I don't think it's

0:44:45.200 --> 0:44:48.160
<v Speaker 3>as deep as it. I don't know, it's not that deep.

0:44:48.200 --> 0:44:49.120
<v Speaker 3>It's all good, you know.

0:44:49.280 --> 0:44:53.640
<v Speaker 1>Just I appreciate you spreading the word. But if you

0:44:53.680 --> 0:44:57.800
<v Speaker 1>would just look at what it is, your spray painting

0:44:57.840 --> 0:44:59.839
<v Speaker 1>on first, I got you.

0:44:59.880 --> 0:45:01.480
<v Speaker 3>I understand that. I respect that.

0:45:03.320 --> 0:45:05.640
<v Speaker 1>Send me send me a do you is it? Are you?

0:45:05.760 --> 0:45:06.760
<v Speaker 1>Do you live near the area?

0:45:08.680 --> 0:45:09.800
<v Speaker 3>I live in Oakland?

0:45:10.480 --> 0:45:12.640
<v Speaker 1>Okay, the next time you're there, send me a picture.

0:45:12.680 --> 0:45:13.880
<v Speaker 1>I want to see. Did you take a picture of it?

0:45:13.920 --> 0:45:14.360
<v Speaker 5>At least?

0:45:15.960 --> 0:45:18.000
<v Speaker 3>Uh? No, I didn't. I don't take pictures of a

0:45:18.000 --> 0:45:18.799
<v Speaker 3>lot of stuff I do.

0:45:19.160 --> 0:45:19.440
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:45:19.560 --> 0:45:21.279
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we'll do a huge one for you on a

0:45:21.280 --> 0:45:24.960
<v Speaker 3>blank freeway wall that is just literally a blank canvas.

0:45:25.080 --> 0:45:26.440
<v Speaker 3>Is asking for it, you know.

0:45:27.320 --> 0:45:29.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Well, as long as.

0:45:29.600 --> 0:45:30.919
<v Speaker 3>I'll send you a picture, I'm not.

0:45:30.880 --> 0:45:33.560
<v Speaker 1>Criminally inflicted anyway in this. I'm on board.

0:45:33.800 --> 0:45:35.919
<v Speaker 3>No, you're good. I'm gonna do it regardless. I'll send

0:45:35.960 --> 0:45:38.840
<v Speaker 3>it to you and you'll you'll get a kick awesome.

0:45:39.960 --> 0:45:41.600
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else? If you guys want to say

0:45:41.640 --> 0:45:42.960
<v Speaker 1>to the people of the computer before we.

0:45:42.920 --> 0:45:50.320
<v Speaker 3>Go, uh, I love y'all. Thank you so much, Thank you, guys.

0:45:50.680 --> 0:45:56.520
<v Speaker 1>I'll see, I'll see. I'll see you guys at the

0:45:56.560 --> 0:45:57.360
<v Speaker 1>next I'm.

0:45:57.200 --> 0:45:59.359
<v Speaker 3>Gonna be at the next At that point, you will,

0:46:00.800 --> 0:46:02.040
<v Speaker 3>I'll introduce myself.

0:46:02.560 --> 0:46:04.200
<v Speaker 1>Okay, perfect, you can spray paint.

0:46:04.360 --> 0:46:11.919
<v Speaker 3>I'll wear a sight, I'll I'll tattoo it. It's good,

0:46:13.000 --> 0:46:16.120
<v Speaker 3>I'll give you a free tattoo, Lyle, I.

0:46:16.160 --> 0:46:17.840
<v Speaker 1>Don't know what I would want. I don't have any tatto.

0:46:17.960 --> 0:46:19.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't have any tattoos. I'm not a big tattoo guy.

0:46:20.000 --> 0:46:22.520
<v Speaker 2>But let me do you.

0:46:24.200 --> 0:46:25.560
<v Speaker 3>Well, there's a there's probably a.

0:46:25.520 --> 0:46:27.680
<v Speaker 1>Good about it on the nose, don't you think?

0:46:30.000 --> 0:46:30.920
<v Speaker 3>What the get go?

0:46:31.440 --> 0:46:31.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:46:33.440 --> 0:46:35.440
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well you have a lot of time to think about.

0:46:35.200 --> 0:46:38.760
<v Speaker 1>It, right yeah, right now I'm with gorilla on the asshole,

0:46:38.800 --> 0:46:41.680
<v Speaker 1>but my mind might change at some point, all right,

0:46:41.680 --> 0:46:42.759
<v Speaker 1>can I guys? Thank you very much?

0:46:43.719 --> 0:46:46.959
<v Speaker 3>All right, thanks bye, dude.

0:46:47.040 --> 0:46:51.000
<v Speaker 1>It's definitely They definitely spray painted therapy gecko on like

0:46:52.040 --> 0:46:59.160
<v Speaker 1>some kind of fucking children's cancer research thing, and now

0:46:59.200 --> 0:47:02.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm a part of that. Hey, folks, it's Lyle. I'm

0:47:02.760 --> 0:47:07.520
<v Speaker 1>here because I'm gonna end this podcast right now with

0:47:07.600 --> 0:47:12.879
<v Speaker 1>a little clip from my a series of street interviews

0:47:13.480 --> 0:47:18.040
<v Speaker 1>that I did on the streets of Glasgow, Scotland. I

0:47:18.120 --> 0:47:20.359
<v Speaker 1>do this thing where I go to foreign countries and

0:47:20.440 --> 0:47:24.800
<v Speaker 1>set up a microphone and some chairs in various places

0:47:24.840 --> 0:47:27.480
<v Speaker 1>and talk to whoever is down to talk to me

0:47:28.040 --> 0:47:30.920
<v Speaker 1>and I was in Glasgow and I had a really

0:47:31.080 --> 0:47:37.960
<v Speaker 1>interesting interview with this guy who like just left a

0:47:38.400 --> 0:47:46.319
<v Speaker 1>alcohol detox like the I guess, like minutes before he

0:47:46.400 --> 0:47:49.520
<v Speaker 1>sat down to talk to me, and we talked for

0:47:49.560 --> 0:47:52.160
<v Speaker 1>a while. And after we talked, I was like, all right, listen, man,

0:47:52.160 --> 0:47:55.120
<v Speaker 1>are you sure you want me to like use all

0:47:55.160 --> 0:48:00.440
<v Speaker 1>this stuff? And he was like insisted that that he

0:48:00.520 --> 0:48:03.840
<v Speaker 1>wanted to, you know, tell his history and talk about

0:48:03.880 --> 0:48:07.200
<v Speaker 1>this stuff. So here's a little here's a little clip

0:48:07.239 --> 0:48:10.200
<v Speaker 1>from that. If you want to see the full thing

0:48:10.400 --> 0:48:14.600
<v Speaker 1>of of my my adventures in Scotland, you can go

0:48:14.680 --> 0:48:18.000
<v Speaker 1>to YouTube dot com slash lyle forever and type in

0:48:18.520 --> 0:48:22.399
<v Speaker 1>being a Gecko in Scotland and the full thing will

0:48:22.400 --> 0:48:24.360
<v Speaker 1>be there. I'll also put a link to it in

0:48:24.440 --> 0:48:30.680
<v Speaker 1>the description. So let's transport ourselves from away from a

0:48:30.760 --> 0:48:34.440
<v Speaker 1>tiny little room with no one else in it into

0:48:35.200 --> 0:48:39.319
<v Speaker 1>the streets of Glasgow, Scotland. What's your what's your name? Dude?

0:48:40.520 --> 0:48:44.160
<v Speaker 1>What do I want to buy that? Sorry? Man, I

0:48:44.360 --> 0:48:50.080
<v Speaker 1>don't have any pounds. What's your name? What's your name?

0:48:50.719 --> 0:48:52.080
<v Speaker 5>Robbie Mark Docre?

0:48:52.640 --> 0:48:54.480
<v Speaker 1>Robbie Mark Docre. What's going on with you?

0:48:54.520 --> 0:48:54.680
<v Speaker 2>Man?

0:48:54.719 --> 0:48:57.000
<v Speaker 1>What's you doing in the park today. How's it going well?

0:48:57.080 --> 0:49:02.440
<v Speaker 1>I was at the Royal the Royal Infirmary.

0:49:02.000 --> 0:49:06.040
<v Speaker 5>De talking from alcohol. Oh okay, and then they wouldn't

0:49:06.080 --> 0:49:08.960
<v Speaker 5>give me enough volume. Okay, so I was like this,

0:49:09.200 --> 0:49:10.959
<v Speaker 5>like I just packed up my ship and then left

0:49:10.960 --> 0:49:11.920
<v Speaker 5>and then got goos.

0:49:12.080 --> 0:49:15.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay, how are you? How are you feeling in life?

0:49:15.400 --> 0:49:15.960
<v Speaker 1>In general?

0:49:16.120 --> 0:49:19.360
<v Speaker 5>I feel good. I was popped up on like siamine

0:49:19.600 --> 0:49:24.120
<v Speaker 5>and all sorts of vet moons okay and stuff. So

0:49:24.760 --> 0:49:26.960
<v Speaker 5>I'm probably looking and feeling better than I have in

0:49:26.960 --> 0:49:27.320
<v Speaker 5>a while.

0:49:27.560 --> 0:49:31.520
<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, what hmm? What what kind of stuff makes

0:49:31.560 --> 0:49:33.479
<v Speaker 1>you makes you look and feel good?

0:49:36.080 --> 0:49:36.560
<v Speaker 5>What do you mean?

0:49:37.719 --> 0:49:39.320
<v Speaker 1>What's what? What makes you feel happy?

0:49:40.840 --> 0:49:41.160
<v Speaker 5>Drugs?

0:49:41.560 --> 0:49:42.520
<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's fair.

0:49:45.280 --> 0:49:50.000
<v Speaker 5>Oh music, obviously they'll tell me about the music underworld

0:49:50.880 --> 0:49:59.160
<v Speaker 5>o dB fucking trying to think who else's Stranglers, the

0:49:59.280 --> 0:50:08.680
<v Speaker 5>Damned sex Pestols, uh and cet all kind of like

0:50:08.800 --> 0:50:11.960
<v Speaker 5>nineties acid house, kind of like unknown stuff, Frankie Bones,

0:50:12.760 --> 0:50:13.440
<v Speaker 5>Yanky Bones.

0:50:13.560 --> 0:50:15.719
<v Speaker 1>Do you play music at all? Do you make any music?

0:50:16.200 --> 0:50:17.319
<v Speaker 1>What do what do you make music about?

0:50:17.680 --> 0:50:20.160
<v Speaker 5>I'm trained in that my mental like look at the camera,

0:50:21.120 --> 0:50:23.720
<v Speaker 5>Oh you can look wherever. Yeah, I'm training. I'm trained.

0:50:23.719 --> 0:50:27.360
<v Speaker 5>Then my mom likes to say I'm trained in classical violin,

0:50:28.040 --> 0:50:29.880
<v Speaker 5>which I am, But if you want to be a

0:50:30.000 --> 0:50:32.520
<v Speaker 5>violin I wouldn't know what the fuck to do. Yeah,

0:50:33.760 --> 0:50:37.279
<v Speaker 5>but I play flam eco guitar, which is which is

0:50:37.280 --> 0:50:37.839
<v Speaker 5>pretty cool.

0:50:38.160 --> 0:50:38.920
<v Speaker 1>Nice? Nice?

0:50:39.200 --> 0:50:43.120
<v Speaker 5>Why the why the green gecko suit? It's kind of

0:50:43.200 --> 0:50:44.319
<v Speaker 5>dangerous in Glasgow? You know?

0:50:44.480 --> 0:50:45.319
<v Speaker 1>Is it really? Tell me?

0:50:45.360 --> 0:50:49.040
<v Speaker 5>Why? Well? Because everything else is orange and red and blue?

0:50:49.760 --> 0:50:51.879
<v Speaker 1>Oh oh? Is it like it's a dangerous to work

0:50:51.920 --> 0:50:52.760
<v Speaker 1>green in Glasgow?

0:50:53.360 --> 0:50:56.520
<v Speaker 5>I'm kidding on. You've got you've got, you've got an army.

0:50:56.920 --> 0:50:59.080
<v Speaker 1>Okay, cool? Well, because I was gonna say, here's something

0:50:59.120 --> 0:51:01.080
<v Speaker 1>like all these places I'm going to like, you could

0:51:01.120 --> 0:51:03.000
<v Speaker 1>tell me anything and I would just believe you. Like

0:51:03.040 --> 0:51:06.360
<v Speaker 1>if you told me that wearing green in Glasgow was,

0:51:06.440 --> 0:51:09.880
<v Speaker 1>like I don't know, a sign of like disrespect to

0:51:09.960 --> 0:51:12.239
<v Speaker 1>the locals, I'd be like, oh shit, I gotta change.

0:51:12.360 --> 0:51:14.400
<v Speaker 5>No, no, no, it's all it's just like there's so

0:51:14.440 --> 0:51:19.640
<v Speaker 5>many areas where you know, how you've got red amber green? Sure,

0:51:20.160 --> 0:51:23.200
<v Speaker 5>Like there's places in Glasgow like Prickton things where they

0:51:23.239 --> 0:51:25.520
<v Speaker 5>actually paint over the green.

0:51:26.080 --> 0:51:29.840
<v Speaker 1>Like oh yeah, well, hey, I got a question for you.

0:51:30.480 --> 0:51:32.520
<v Speaker 1>What is your tattoo on your next I mean that

0:51:33.120 --> 0:51:34.600
<v Speaker 1>it says disconcerting smile.

0:51:34.840 --> 0:51:37.560
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, so when whenever someone asked it, and then it

0:51:37.640 --> 0:51:39.319
<v Speaker 5>kind of makes you smile and it's kind of like

0:51:39.360 --> 0:51:40.440
<v Speaker 5>a disconcerted smile.

0:51:41.760 --> 0:51:44.480
<v Speaker 1>Oh like, whenever somebody asks you about the tattoo, it

0:51:44.520 --> 0:51:45.920
<v Speaker 1>makes them smile or you no.

0:51:46.120 --> 0:51:49.160
<v Speaker 5>No, no, no no no. If someone asked me, what

0:51:49.280 --> 0:51:52.040
<v Speaker 5>does this like, why do you have disconcert and smile?

0:51:52.520 --> 0:51:56.400
<v Speaker 5>Right then I can't help but like kind of smile

0:51:56.680 --> 0:51:59.120
<v Speaker 5>and it's kind of disconcerted, like I've got bad smow,

0:51:59.280 --> 0:51:59.520
<v Speaker 5>you know.

0:52:00.480 --> 0:52:01.759
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why what they say you have a

0:52:01.760 --> 0:52:02.320
<v Speaker 1>bad smile.

0:52:03.160 --> 0:52:06.000
<v Speaker 5>I don't know, because I've got kind of shitty teeth.

0:52:07.360 --> 0:52:11.840
<v Speaker 5>How many folks have you got on the YouTube? Don't

0:52:11.920 --> 0:52:13.719
<v Speaker 5>say like two point one million.

0:52:14.280 --> 0:52:16.719
<v Speaker 1>Two point one that's not a few people watch. That's

0:52:16.760 --> 0:52:17.760
<v Speaker 1>not nothing crazy.

0:52:18.280 --> 0:52:21.800
<v Speaker 5>Okay, ask me some more questions. I like, I like questions.

0:52:21.840 --> 0:52:24.640
<v Speaker 1>All right, what's your what's your dream in life to.

0:52:24.600 --> 0:52:27.760
<v Speaker 5>Make musical can become famous and destroy the world.

0:52:28.040 --> 0:52:29.719
<v Speaker 1>Why do you want to destroy the world.

0:52:29.840 --> 0:52:31.000
<v Speaker 5>Because it's disgusting?

0:52:31.280 --> 0:52:33.279
<v Speaker 1>What do you find disgusting about the world?

0:52:33.480 --> 0:52:36.719
<v Speaker 5>And that everyone tells ship jokes and laughs at each

0:52:36.760 --> 0:52:40.840
<v Speaker 5>other's ship jokes and everyone's fake like form more people.

0:52:41.360 --> 0:52:44.480
<v Speaker 5>You know, you see everyone like like over there, like

0:52:44.560 --> 0:52:47.479
<v Speaker 5>they all set with in their you know, like little

0:52:47.560 --> 0:52:51.960
<v Speaker 5>restaurants and they say like little quips, you know, and

0:52:52.040 --> 0:52:57.000
<v Speaker 5>they and they're like, you know, and and and you know,

0:52:57.040 --> 0:53:01.920
<v Speaker 5>it's just it's just like everything's just self gratulately congratulately

0:53:02.480 --> 0:53:07.080
<v Speaker 5>ego trip. There's there seems to be a lot of

0:53:07.440 --> 0:53:10.360
<v Speaker 5>things that are not real anymore.

0:53:10.800 --> 0:53:14.440
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm. You feel like the world is disgusting because

0:53:14.480 --> 0:53:16.120
<v Speaker 1>people aren't really disgusting.

0:53:16.280 --> 0:53:18.320
<v Speaker 5>I love I love late, I love life, but like

0:53:18.520 --> 0:53:20.279
<v Speaker 5>I just I just think that there's a lot of

0:53:20.280 --> 0:53:23.200
<v Speaker 5>things that there's a lot of wrongs that should be corrected.

0:53:23.719 --> 0:53:25.759
<v Speaker 1>What what What are some other wrongs that you feel

0:53:25.800 --> 0:53:26.560
<v Speaker 1>should be corrected.

0:53:28.239 --> 0:53:33.239
<v Speaker 5>I don't know people that have like girls that have

0:53:33.360 --> 0:53:37.080
<v Speaker 5>short hair and it's like colored. I don't like that.

0:53:37.320 --> 0:53:39.120
<v Speaker 1>But you, I mean you got color, you got like

0:53:39.200 --> 0:53:40.120
<v Speaker 1>colored tattoos.

0:53:40.200 --> 0:53:42.520
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I know. I drew myself. I've also got like

0:53:42.600 --> 0:53:45.680
<v Speaker 5>cuts of arms. I did that myself too.

0:53:46.160 --> 0:53:48.040
<v Speaker 1>M hmm. All right, So your dream in life is

0:53:48.080 --> 0:53:52.080
<v Speaker 1>to destroy the world, make music and and uh kind

0:53:52.120 --> 0:53:54.160
<v Speaker 1>of hang out. What do you think about all day?

0:53:58.719 --> 0:54:02.320
<v Speaker 5>What do I think about old? That's a good question.

0:54:02.800 --> 0:54:07.680
<v Speaker 5>I'm actually trying to answer your questions. Yea, genuinely, Well

0:54:07.840 --> 0:54:12.320
<v Speaker 5>what do I think about all day? I think about

0:54:15.960 --> 0:54:21.080
<v Speaker 5>my struggle with alcohol and how I love it though,

0:54:21.840 --> 0:54:26.440
<v Speaker 5>and then I'm kind of like torn between, you know,

0:54:26.520 --> 0:54:29.400
<v Speaker 5>should I love it or should I hate it? I

0:54:29.520 --> 0:54:33.640
<v Speaker 5>think I think, I think, I think that there's there's

0:54:33.680 --> 0:54:37.319
<v Speaker 5>a thing do you know where the comedian patris O Neil. Yeah, right,

0:54:37.400 --> 0:54:40.359
<v Speaker 5>so he said, have your opinions, but don't let your

0:54:40.520 --> 0:54:42.840
<v Speaker 5>own your opinions, but don't let your opinions on you.

0:54:43.520 --> 0:54:45.200
<v Speaker 5>I think there's a lot of things in life where,

0:54:46.239 --> 0:54:48.640
<v Speaker 5>you know, like people like they let they let things

0:54:48.680 --> 0:54:51.960
<v Speaker 5>on them without realizing it. Like you know, for example,

0:54:53.000 --> 0:54:56.080
<v Speaker 5>if you have like a drug problem and you you

0:54:56.239 --> 0:55:02.080
<v Speaker 5>have total abstinence, you you know, and you go, oh,

0:55:02.200 --> 0:55:05.160
<v Speaker 5>this is my fourteenth fear sober, this is my twenty

0:55:05.200 --> 0:55:09.560
<v Speaker 5>eight fear sober. You're still kind of fucking controlled by it. Yeah,

0:55:10.080 --> 0:55:12.319
<v Speaker 5>you're not doing it, you know. So Like I mean,

0:55:12.360 --> 0:55:14.000
<v Speaker 5>I think a little bit of balance. I don't know,

0:55:14.160 --> 0:55:15.200
<v Speaker 5>that's that's just my viewing.

0:55:15.239 --> 0:55:17.920
<v Speaker 1>No, No, that's I understand. I understand where that viewpoint

0:55:18.000 --> 0:55:20.200
<v Speaker 1>comes from. It's like if you're like.

0:55:20.760 --> 0:55:21.759
<v Speaker 5>You're still controlled by it.

0:55:22.000 --> 0:55:26.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, like like if you're whether you're a total

0:55:26.320 --> 0:55:29.719
<v Speaker 1>abstination or total engulfing and it it's still has some

0:55:30.120 --> 0:55:31.520
<v Speaker 1>form of power in your life. Yeah.

0:55:31.719 --> 0:55:34.760
<v Speaker 5>And also one but just one more thing because probably

0:55:34.840 --> 0:55:37.319
<v Speaker 5>these guys like hate me and what like one mate

0:55:37.360 --> 0:55:39.600
<v Speaker 5>stopped talking but no, no, no place. But I think

0:55:39.680 --> 0:55:43.080
<v Speaker 5>people should people should train themselves to try and talk

0:55:43.239 --> 0:55:49.560
<v Speaker 5>slower because language is so integral to like your psychology,

0:55:50.239 --> 0:55:53.080
<v Speaker 5>and if you can slow down how you speak, you

0:55:53.200 --> 0:55:55.919
<v Speaker 5>can appreciate things a lot better and you can see

0:55:55.960 --> 0:55:59.160
<v Speaker 5>a lot more. Like for example, you know, like the

0:55:59.200 --> 0:56:01.200
<v Speaker 5>other week, I'll stay bananas. I was looking at the

0:56:01.239 --> 0:56:04.520
<v Speaker 5>window listening to music and like a sparrow came and

0:56:04.640 --> 0:56:08.520
<v Speaker 5>like hit like a bush. They can like bounced off it.

0:56:09.320 --> 0:56:11.880
<v Speaker 5>Or there's like do you not a worthy giguess? You

0:56:11.960 --> 0:56:13.080
<v Speaker 5>guys know what a worthy giggess?

0:56:13.160 --> 0:56:13.360
<v Speaker 3>You know what?

0:56:14.320 --> 0:56:17.279
<v Speaker 5>Like washing on It's like those little things are like

0:56:17.360 --> 0:56:20.600
<v Speaker 5>shaped like squares and like yeah, so like there's this

0:56:20.719 --> 0:56:23.040
<v Speaker 5>old woman and her husband died a few years ago.

0:56:23.480 --> 0:56:26.560
<v Speaker 5>She lives behind us, so like our garden's kind of

0:56:26.680 --> 0:56:29.400
<v Speaker 5>like a little bit like scwed and there was a

0:56:29.520 --> 0:56:31.680
<v Speaker 5>crow landed on it. And it's fun like all the

0:56:31.760 --> 0:56:35.480
<v Speaker 5>way around. So I think slow your life down so

0:56:35.680 --> 0:56:38.880
<v Speaker 5>that you can appreciate just like little things like that.

0:56:39.960 --> 0:56:43.520
<v Speaker 5>I think that's the most meaningful kind of shit.

0:56:45.120 --> 0:56:45.360
<v Speaker 2>Do you.

0:56:49.040 --> 0:56:49.359
<v Speaker 5>Do you make?

0:56:49.560 --> 0:56:52.040
<v Speaker 1>Do you record music at all? Okay?

0:56:52.160 --> 0:56:56.879
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and it's not it's not. It's not like honey

0:56:56.880 --> 0:56:59.520
<v Speaker 5>about in live where you can create you know, like

0:56:59.600 --> 0:57:02.840
<v Speaker 5>a drum like you know, like a drum set, and

0:57:03.080 --> 0:57:05.000
<v Speaker 5>you know like cut and paste it and add it on.

0:57:05.239 --> 0:57:09.080
<v Speaker 5>You know, everything's recorded live through like a focused right

0:57:09.160 --> 0:57:14.240
<v Speaker 5>interface and it's very kind of like balayriic and my idea.

0:57:15.000 --> 0:57:18.440
<v Speaker 5>Just get it out there to whoever's listening and watching.

0:57:19.040 --> 0:57:20.840
<v Speaker 5>And I'm not doing it because no one else has

0:57:20.840 --> 0:57:23.200
<v Speaker 5>ever done it. I'm doing it because it comes natural.

0:57:24.320 --> 0:57:28.280
<v Speaker 5>But I'm gonna do like a an album that has

0:57:28.840 --> 0:57:31.720
<v Speaker 5>a core progression, but then it kind of differs from

0:57:31.800 --> 0:57:34.760
<v Speaker 5>it and then returns back to it, okay a few

0:57:34.840 --> 0:57:40.640
<v Speaker 5>times accompanied by a visual you know, things that are

0:57:40.720 --> 0:57:44.840
<v Speaker 5>kind of like postmodern, you know, because I hate postmodernism.

0:57:45.000 --> 0:57:48.000
<v Speaker 5>So you know, for example, you know that like that

0:57:48.160 --> 0:57:51.280
<v Speaker 5>seagull flying flying by a tree, a clip of that,

0:57:52.680 --> 0:57:54.440
<v Speaker 5>and then a clup of a child like running, and

0:57:54.560 --> 0:57:56.680
<v Speaker 5>then a clip of like a bomb hitting it, like

0:57:56.800 --> 0:57:58.880
<v Speaker 5>hitting a rack, and then you know, a clup of

0:57:58.920 --> 0:58:02.880
<v Speaker 5>a whale up jump, you know, everything happening at one time. Yeah,

0:58:03.080 --> 0:58:05.320
<v Speaker 5>and you know, like a coagulation of reality.

0:58:05.560 --> 0:58:06.880
<v Speaker 1>I want to ask you, I want to go back

0:58:06.920 --> 0:58:09.919
<v Speaker 1>real quick to you. You you talked about like slowing down,

0:58:10.680 --> 0:58:13.240
<v Speaker 1>Like is this a reason this this kind of realization

0:58:13.400 --> 0:58:15.160
<v Speaker 1>you made of like, oh, I want to slow down

0:58:15.200 --> 0:58:17.600
<v Speaker 1>a little bit more, And is that a recent thing?

0:58:18.080 --> 0:58:20.360
<v Speaker 1>Is that a recent realization you've come to And if so,

0:58:20.600 --> 0:58:21.960
<v Speaker 1>what made you come to that realization?

0:58:22.560 --> 0:58:26.560
<v Speaker 5>I think in the past few years I developed a

0:58:26.680 --> 0:58:29.920
<v Speaker 5>lot of things that I'd never experienced before that were

0:58:30.000 --> 0:58:34.040
<v Speaker 5>new to me, and they were a whole oh yeah,

0:58:34.240 --> 0:58:39.000
<v Speaker 5>oh yeah, right, like they were they were foreign to me.

0:58:39.120 --> 0:58:42.240
<v Speaker 5>Therefore I was afraid of them. But just because something's

0:58:42.320 --> 0:58:44.160
<v Speaker 5>foreign to you, it doesn't mean you should be afraid

0:58:44.160 --> 0:58:47.280
<v Speaker 5>of it. You should fears your friend, not your enemy. Yeah,

0:58:48.800 --> 0:58:52.600
<v Speaker 5>And so like you know, like when these kind of

0:58:52.680 --> 0:58:56.480
<v Speaker 5>things happened, you know, like I developed a stutter when

0:58:56.520 --> 0:58:58.960
<v Speaker 5>I'm stressed, you know, I get like a like a

0:58:59.080 --> 0:59:02.160
<v Speaker 5>choke in my throat. That was really scary the first

0:59:02.200 --> 0:59:05.680
<v Speaker 5>time I happened, but it doesn't scare me anymore. But

0:59:05.800 --> 0:59:10.080
<v Speaker 5>I learned that the slower that I spoke, the more

0:59:10.240 --> 0:59:14.360
<v Speaker 5>it kind of changed my psychology and the way that

0:59:14.440 --> 0:59:17.040
<v Speaker 5>I looked at things. You know, if someone is erratic

0:59:17.720 --> 0:59:21.240
<v Speaker 5>and sped up and he speaking, you know, you know

0:59:21.800 --> 0:59:24.200
<v Speaker 5>all they're thinking of is themselves. We've seen themselves in

0:59:24.240 --> 0:59:28.000
<v Speaker 5>the mirror constantly, well you know, while they're talking. Whereas

0:59:28.360 --> 0:59:31.560
<v Speaker 5>if you sow yourself down you can self express, and

0:59:31.840 --> 0:59:33.640
<v Speaker 5>you know, you can you can actually see what's in

0:59:33.720 --> 0:59:38.280
<v Speaker 5>front of you. M hm, that's what I think, m hm,

0:59:40.400 --> 0:59:41.320
<v Speaker 5>mister gecko.

0:59:41.680 --> 0:59:44.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what do you have a do have a job?

0:59:44.440 --> 0:59:45.840
<v Speaker 1>Do you go to school? Do you do anything like that?

0:59:46.080 --> 0:59:46.120
<v Speaker 3>No?

0:59:46.240 --> 0:59:49.000
<v Speaker 5>I'm on l c w RA, which is Limited Capability

0:59:49.120 --> 0:59:52.840
<v Speaker 5>for work and work related activity, which means that I

0:59:53.040 --> 0:59:56.840
<v Speaker 5>receive well from that. Anyway, I received six hundred pounds

0:59:56.840 --> 0:59:59.960
<v Speaker 5>a month for doing Sweet Fuck Call, and it's great

1:00:00.400 --> 1:00:09.760
<v Speaker 5>because it's free money and also disability elements because of

1:00:11.040 --> 1:00:16.600
<v Speaker 5>anxiety and bipolar, like generalized the anxiety, not like just normal.

1:00:17.880 --> 1:00:21.280
<v Speaker 1>So so you came you came here from from like

1:00:21.320 --> 1:00:22.760
<v Speaker 1>a detaxing Yeah.

1:00:22.600 --> 1:00:25.440
<v Speaker 5>I came from here from hospital. I left. I just

1:00:25.880 --> 1:00:28.840
<v Speaker 5>I packed up and said fuck this because I was shaking,

1:00:29.160 --> 1:00:30.480
<v Speaker 5>like like like like.

1:00:30.560 --> 1:00:32.640
<v Speaker 1>Really really shaking. It was withdrawn.

1:00:32.880 --> 1:00:33.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

1:00:33.280 --> 1:00:33.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

1:00:33.840 --> 1:00:36.160
<v Speaker 5>And then the doctor when he just didn't give a fuck,

1:00:36.200 --> 1:00:38.200
<v Speaker 5>he cared more like I said, about his beard and

1:00:38.360 --> 1:00:42.040
<v Speaker 5>like looking good than me. And so I thought, if

1:00:42.080 --> 1:00:45.160
<v Speaker 5>someone if someone in life, as far as I'm concerned,

1:00:45.280 --> 1:00:48.640
<v Speaker 5>oh ship, sorry, right, yeah, I'm fine as far as

1:00:48.680 --> 1:00:51.880
<v Speaker 5>I'm concerned. If if someone in life, right is so

1:00:52.200 --> 1:00:56.040
<v Speaker 5>ego driven and you tried to have a truthful conversation

1:00:56.240 --> 1:00:59.440
<v Speaker 5>with them, and you're not going to get a truthful

1:00:59.520 --> 1:01:03.120
<v Speaker 5>response because their regal driven.

1:01:04.000 --> 1:01:04.160
<v Speaker 1>You know.

1:01:05.160 --> 1:01:09.600
<v Speaker 5>So for example, if this man thought that, you know,

1:01:09.920 --> 1:01:13.000
<v Speaker 5>he is always going to be correct and he's never

1:01:13.080 --> 1:01:16.800
<v Speaker 5>gonna listen to me, and I'm just this, you know whatever,

1:01:17.000 --> 1:01:21.000
<v Speaker 5>this patient and he's the main guys, he's the star

1:01:21.120 --> 1:01:23.680
<v Speaker 5>of the show, he's the main character in his movie.

1:01:26.920 --> 1:01:29.800
<v Speaker 5>You know, I like, I kind of thought to myself, Roberte,

1:01:29.800 --> 1:01:32.960
<v Speaker 5>you could explain the truth, you know, you could explain

1:01:33.000 --> 1:01:37.640
<v Speaker 5>to him that, you know, drinking twelve liters of cider

1:01:37.760 --> 1:01:41.000
<v Speaker 5>a day and not eating and not sleeping and having

1:01:41.120 --> 1:01:44.760
<v Speaker 5>half bottles of vodka in between that for years and

1:01:44.840 --> 1:01:48.320
<v Speaker 5>years and years requires a little bit more than twenty

1:01:48.400 --> 1:01:54.840
<v Speaker 5>milligrams of dazepam. He would take that as an ego

1:01:55.000 --> 1:01:58.520
<v Speaker 5>kind of insult, almost as if I was telling him

1:01:58.640 --> 1:01:59.120
<v Speaker 5>his job.

1:01:59.480 --> 1:02:01.960
<v Speaker 1>Sure, and you know.

1:02:03.440 --> 1:02:08.640
<v Speaker 5>Essentially yeah, and so I just I just I gave off.

1:02:08.680 --> 1:02:11.000
<v Speaker 5>I just piped everything up and and laughed And I

1:02:11.080 --> 1:02:13.120
<v Speaker 5>didn't even discharge myself. I just laughed.

1:02:14.240 --> 1:02:16.360
<v Speaker 1>You know, you seem like you're you're a smart guy.

1:02:16.400 --> 1:02:20.320
<v Speaker 1>You're thinking a lot about uh, the camera, Oh shore,

1:02:20.320 --> 1:02:20.640
<v Speaker 1>what is that?

1:02:21.600 --> 1:02:23.480
<v Speaker 5>It's my cross that Chiro with me everywhere?

1:02:25.240 --> 1:02:25.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh is that?

1:02:25.680 --> 1:02:25.840
<v Speaker 5>Who?

1:02:25.880 --> 1:02:27.760
<v Speaker 1>Where's where's your homie at? They gave that to you?

1:02:28.560 --> 1:02:28.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

1:02:28.840 --> 1:02:34.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, were there? So like when you said you were, like,

1:02:35.560 --> 1:02:39.480
<v Speaker 1>there's there's that kind of tough dichotomy of like if

1:02:39.520 --> 1:02:41.880
<v Speaker 1>you're drinking all the time, then it's got a hold

1:02:41.920 --> 1:02:43.960
<v Speaker 1>of you, but also if you're completely upstaining, then it's

1:02:43.960 --> 1:02:46.200
<v Speaker 1>got a hold of you. And you're thinking about like,

1:02:46.280 --> 1:02:49.920
<v Speaker 1>because I assume you have, like you know, desires to

1:02:50.120 --> 1:02:52.120
<v Speaker 1>to want to try to live like the best kind

1:02:52.160 --> 1:02:55.920
<v Speaker 1>of life you can for yourself, Like how are you

1:02:55.960 --> 1:02:57.640
<v Speaker 1>how do you how are you thinking about your situation?

1:02:57.800 --> 1:03:00.680
<v Speaker 1>Moving forward, Like, what do you think is the best

1:03:00.720 --> 1:03:02.840
<v Speaker 1>way of moving forward for you to be happy and

1:03:02.920 --> 1:03:05.440
<v Speaker 1>live a good life and do what's right for you.

1:03:05.960 --> 1:03:09.840
<v Speaker 5>I would say to be unconditional and for you to

1:03:09.960 --> 1:03:12.320
<v Speaker 5>not think about yourself, to think about others and your

1:03:12.400 --> 1:03:18.200
<v Speaker 5>relationships with others. And if you can maintain a lifestyle

1:03:18.320 --> 1:03:24.040
<v Speaker 5>that you like and with and either benefit or not

1:03:24.200 --> 1:03:28.720
<v Speaker 5>affect negatively other people, then that's kind of what you

1:03:28.800 --> 1:03:29.400
<v Speaker 5>want toam for.

1:03:31.240 --> 1:03:31.400
<v Speaker 1>You know.

1:03:31.840 --> 1:03:41.560
<v Speaker 5>For example, you know, like I love alcohol, but you know,

1:03:41.720 --> 1:03:44.680
<v Speaker 5>there there comes a point where you're not drinking to

1:03:44.760 --> 1:03:48.360
<v Speaker 5>get drunk anymore. You're drinking to feel normal. So you

1:03:48.480 --> 1:03:51.160
<v Speaker 5>have to keep it real and you know, and you

1:03:51.240 --> 1:03:53.800
<v Speaker 5>have to you have to be honest with yourself. And

1:03:53.960 --> 1:03:56.800
<v Speaker 5>you know, there's like if there's one thing that I've

1:03:56.880 --> 1:04:00.240
<v Speaker 5>learned and I always always tell older sis or this,

1:04:02.680 --> 1:04:06.560
<v Speaker 5>see the moments in life where you where you stop

1:04:06.840 --> 1:04:09.520
<v Speaker 5>and you kind of put your head between your legs

1:04:09.600 --> 1:04:12.920
<v Speaker 5>and you know kind of like shake your head and

1:04:13.040 --> 1:04:16.600
<v Speaker 5>maybe cry or you go, like, for example, I would go, Robbie,

1:04:17.360 --> 1:04:21.400
<v Speaker 5>this is fucking bad, man, this is bad. Those are

1:04:21.440 --> 1:04:24.320
<v Speaker 5>the moments in life that are the best moments in

1:04:24.440 --> 1:04:29.040
<v Speaker 5>life because they're true. You know, that's that's your self actualizing.

1:04:29.640 --> 1:04:33.960
<v Speaker 5>You're no longer being a selfish, you know, self fulfilling

1:04:34.720 --> 1:04:37.360
<v Speaker 5>you know, human being. You're you're you're being something out

1:04:37.440 --> 1:04:39.520
<v Speaker 5>with that. You know, you're being what you're intended to be,

1:04:40.600 --> 1:04:45.160
<v Speaker 5>which is you know, a good a good person that

1:04:45.240 --> 1:04:48.600
<v Speaker 5>doesn't just live for yourself but lives for other people,

1:04:49.080 --> 1:04:52.960
<v Speaker 5>you know. So like I just I believe in self

1:04:53.040 --> 1:04:59.240
<v Speaker 5>actualization and you can achieve self actualization very easily purely

1:04:59.520 --> 1:05:04.600
<v Speaker 5>just ba. I am balance, you know, and like I

1:05:04.680 --> 1:05:10.080
<v Speaker 5>always say, life wouldn't be so beautiful if it wasn't

1:05:10.120 --> 1:05:14.840
<v Speaker 5>so painful. Yeah, okay, and that's not that's not some

1:05:15.160 --> 1:05:19.280
<v Speaker 5>kind of you know, sound good, sound bait, you know,

1:05:21.560 --> 1:05:24.520
<v Speaker 5>saying or whatever. You know, you know, whatever the case

1:05:24.560 --> 1:05:26.120
<v Speaker 5>may be, it's as true.

1:05:26.240 --> 1:05:26.800
<v Speaker 3>You know, like.

1:05:29.760 --> 1:05:30.160
<v Speaker 1>You know you.

1:05:31.760 --> 1:05:33.320
<v Speaker 5>Life has to be painful, you know.

1:05:34.000 --> 1:05:36.720
<v Speaker 1>Can I ask who are like, like, when you're thinking about,

1:05:37.800 --> 1:05:40.640
<v Speaker 1>you know, the other people in your life that you

1:05:40.800 --> 1:05:43.880
<v Speaker 1>want to like be there for and try to help

1:05:43.960 --> 1:05:46.280
<v Speaker 1>out in the context of all these things you're saying, like,

1:05:46.880 --> 1:05:48.960
<v Speaker 1>who would those people be? Do you have people like that?

1:05:49.320 --> 1:05:55.040
<v Speaker 5>Well? I am I struggle with that one because sorry,

1:05:55.040 --> 1:05:58.640
<v Speaker 5>I keep on holding it so far away. I struggle

1:05:58.680 --> 1:06:03.160
<v Speaker 5>with that one because I think that I would love,

1:06:03.360 --> 1:06:07.200
<v Speaker 5>I would love to be successful and for my children

1:06:08.160 --> 1:06:11.360
<v Speaker 5>and my nieces and nephews if I have any in

1:06:11.400 --> 1:06:15.480
<v Speaker 5>the future, and their children to be looked after. But

1:06:15.600 --> 1:06:18.560
<v Speaker 5>I was my happiest when I had no money. And

1:06:18.680 --> 1:06:20.960
<v Speaker 5>I'm not I'm not talking about that in a kind

1:06:21.000 --> 1:06:24.480
<v Speaker 5>of terrifaden, you know, biddest kind of sense. I just mean,

1:06:25.280 --> 1:06:29.440
<v Speaker 5>you know, when I had no money, when I had

1:06:29.480 --> 1:06:31.720
<v Speaker 5>no money for some reason, I was, I was happy.

1:06:33.920 --> 1:06:36.960
<v Speaker 5>So you know, like so ROBO's question again.

1:06:38.480 --> 1:06:40.480
<v Speaker 1>Forget sorry man. So so I'm talking about like you

1:06:40.720 --> 1:06:42.560
<v Speaker 1>talked about, like really wanting to like live life like

1:06:42.720 --> 1:06:44.840
<v Speaker 1>not for yourself and all that stuff. And that's kind

1:06:44.840 --> 1:06:47.680
<v Speaker 1>of what self actualization is. Who are some people in

1:06:47.760 --> 1:06:48.160
<v Speaker 1>your life?

1:06:48.200 --> 1:06:50.320
<v Speaker 5>Who I mean if you look at like like have

1:06:50.400 --> 1:06:53.760
<v Speaker 5>you ever watched it like Ozie Osbourne and his kids now?

1:06:53.840 --> 1:06:58.000
<v Speaker 5>And okay, so Osborne sick, Yeah, but like he see

1:06:58.480 --> 1:07:02.320
<v Speaker 5>his kid Jack TV shows a little shit, you know

1:07:02.320 --> 1:07:04.120
<v Speaker 5>what I mean, because he gets everything he wants, and

1:07:04.520 --> 1:07:09.880
<v Speaker 5>you know, we like like they're not treated like, you know,

1:07:10.040 --> 1:07:14.880
<v Speaker 5>as if they're like actual children. So what would I

1:07:15.000 --> 1:07:19.560
<v Speaker 5>want for people I would like for just to get

1:07:19.600 --> 1:07:27.720
<v Speaker 5>this on camera. I would like a non utilitarianist, non nihilist,

1:07:29.280 --> 1:07:35.520
<v Speaker 5>non godless society where you don't just count on balancing

1:07:35.640 --> 1:07:39.360
<v Speaker 5>good against evil and you actually just kind of have

1:07:39.560 --> 1:07:43.200
<v Speaker 5>faith in the process of things and realize that there

1:07:43.280 --> 1:07:46.840
<v Speaker 5>is nothing new under the sun. I'm not a Bible batter,

1:07:47.680 --> 1:07:49.640
<v Speaker 5>but I think that people worry about a lot of

1:07:49.680 --> 1:07:52.160
<v Speaker 5>things that they shouldn't worry about. Everything always seems to

1:07:52.320 --> 1:07:56.720
<v Speaker 5>solve itself in one way or another, you know. And

1:07:56.800 --> 1:07:59.000
<v Speaker 5>you could say, well, what if what if I got

1:07:59.080 --> 1:08:02.520
<v Speaker 5>diagnosed with pink creatic cancer right now? If I got

1:08:02.600 --> 1:08:04.680
<v Speaker 5>diagnosed with pancreatic cancer right now, I don't know what

1:08:04.720 --> 1:08:07.040
<v Speaker 5>I would do, But part of me kind of thinks

1:08:07.040 --> 1:08:10.640
<v Speaker 5>I would laugh, because God has a sense of cure

1:08:11.880 --> 1:08:15.280
<v Speaker 5>and me professing all these things, acting like a smart

1:08:15.360 --> 1:08:19.720
<v Speaker 5>guy when I'm not really, I'm just a human being. Like,

1:08:19.840 --> 1:08:22.160
<v Speaker 5>don't listen to a single word that I said. It

1:08:22.320 --> 1:08:25.640
<v Speaker 5>just sounds good, or I hope it sounds good, but

1:08:25.800 --> 1:08:29.360
<v Speaker 5>I just sound good. That's it. People are just good

1:08:29.360 --> 1:08:30.120
<v Speaker 5>at sounding good.

1:08:31.080 --> 1:08:34.160
<v Speaker 1>What's your name again, man, Robbie, Robbie, nice to read you,

1:08:34.280 --> 1:08:37.040
<v Speaker 1>Rabbi man, what's uh Is there anything else do you

1:08:37.080 --> 1:08:39.240
<v Speaker 1>want to say to the people of the computer before

1:08:39.280 --> 1:08:42.040
<v Speaker 1>we go, any final thoughts, feelings of sentiments.

1:08:42.400 --> 1:08:46.800
<v Speaker 5>I love you mum, I love your dad. This isn't

1:08:46.840 --> 1:08:49.400
<v Speaker 5>a suicide message. It's just a normal message.

1:08:52.240 --> 1:08:54.680
<v Speaker 1>Good man, what do you do? What are you doing

1:08:54.720 --> 1:08:55.400
<v Speaker 1>the rest of the day?

1:08:57.080 --> 1:08:59.679
<v Speaker 5>I don't know, drinking and probably getting sectioned.

1:09:01.439 --> 1:09:05.519
<v Speaker 1>I have a going around all right. By the way,

1:09:05.560 --> 1:09:09.400
<v Speaker 1>you are not the first person to say that was Oliver.

1:09:10.920 --> 1:09:13.280
<v Speaker 1>That's how who's Oliver read?

1:09:15.640 --> 1:09:15.760
<v Speaker 2>Uh?

1:09:16.080 --> 1:09:18.960
<v Speaker 1>Not really? Okay, I'll have to look him up. I

1:09:19.080 --> 1:09:19.680
<v Speaker 1>have to look him up.

1:09:20.680 --> 1:09:21.000
<v Speaker 5>All right.

1:09:23.560 --> 1:09:32.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh, it's Lyle forever. Don't don't forget the fake bracelet thing?

1:09:44.360 --> 1:09:44.559
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

1:09:44.680 --> 1:09:50.240
<v Speaker 1>Is that? Is that? Is that okay with you? Okay? Cool? Yeah,

1:09:50.280 --> 1:09:52.960
<v Speaker 1>I'll probably put it on YouTube at some point. Yeah,

1:09:53.000 --> 1:09:55.080
<v Speaker 1>I'll put it on YouTube at some point. Do you

1:09:55.200 --> 1:09:56.760
<v Speaker 1>are you cool with me showing all you want me

1:09:56.840 --> 1:10:00.280
<v Speaker 1>to blur your face or anything like that? All right,

1:10:00.360 --> 1:10:05.800
<v Speaker 1>let's do it, all right, man? That one I won't

1:10:05.840 --> 1:10:09.559
<v Speaker 1>sign off on. Hey, hey, nice mate, your Robbie take

1:10:09.600 --> 1:10:12.439
<v Speaker 1>care of god Buster too, man, you take care you know,

1:10:12.520 --> 1:10:15.400
<v Speaker 1>it's interesting thinking about what he said about you know,

1:10:15.840 --> 1:10:20.280
<v Speaker 1>if whether whether you're completely abstaining from something or completely

1:10:21.040 --> 1:10:24.840
<v Speaker 1>engaged in something. It has a hold on you. That's

1:10:24.920 --> 1:10:27.160
<v Speaker 1>interesting to think about. I have my own vices, I

1:10:27.280 --> 1:10:30.640
<v Speaker 1>have my own things. Now alcohol is not really one

1:10:30.680 --> 1:10:33.800
<v Speaker 1>of them, you know, but fucking I mean, I was

1:10:33.840 --> 1:10:37.160
<v Speaker 1>talking about eating Hamburger flavored potato chips, and that definitely

1:10:37.320 --> 1:10:40.400
<v Speaker 1>is one of them. And I don't know, it was

1:10:40.479 --> 1:10:43.479
<v Speaker 1>interesting talking to that guy. He seemed like, seemed like

1:10:43.520 --> 1:10:46.360
<v Speaker 1>a smart dude. He seemed like, you know, he was

1:10:46.360 --> 1:10:48.479
<v Speaker 1>struggling with some stuff, but that he also had a

1:10:51.600 --> 1:10:58.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, some I will his his pessimism was

1:10:58.120 --> 1:11:01.280
<v Speaker 1>sprinkled with notes of optimism. I think, at least it's

1:11:01.320 --> 1:11:03.280
<v Speaker 1>my interpretation of it. And he seems like it's a

1:11:03.439 --> 1:11:05.680
<v Speaker 1>nice guy and the sweet guy and a guy with

1:11:05.760 --> 1:11:07.719
<v Speaker 1>good intentions. And I wish him well and I hope

1:11:07.760 --> 1:11:12.519
<v Speaker 1>that he eventually, you know, does whatever is the best

1:11:13.320 --> 1:11:15.479
<v Speaker 1>option for him in his life. And I hope he

1:11:15.560 --> 1:11:18.400
<v Speaker 1>doesn't discover the wopp or flavored potato chips, because that

1:11:18.439 --> 1:11:21.920
<v Speaker 1>will just sink him deeper into some kind of hole.

1:11:22.720 --> 1:11:27.479
<v Speaker 1>And I hope, I hope he sells that bracelet to someone. Maybe.

1:11:29.360 --> 1:11:33.040
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, Robbie, God bless your really kid goes on

1:11:33.200 --> 1:11:36.920
<v Speaker 1>the line taking your phone calls every night. Everything can

1:11:37.120 --> 1:11:39.519
<v Speaker 1>goes to a ride who's teaching you about in the

1:11:39.560 --> 1:11:42.880
<v Speaker 1>midt of your life, but he's not really an expert.