1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:04,520 Speaker 1: All right, break it down. 2 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,719 Speaker 2: If you ever have feelings that you just won Amy 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 2: and Cat gotcha Covin locking a brother. Ladies and folks, 4 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 2: do you just follow Anna spirit where it's all the 5 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:19,800 Speaker 2: front over real stuff to the chill stuff and the aim. 6 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 2: But Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do it 7 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:28,560 Speaker 2: just stop you feel things. This is Feeling Things with. 8 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things formerly 9 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 1: four Things. I'm Amy and I'm Kat and I got 10 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: a face fitness con artist update. I can't wait. 11 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 3: You were texting me about it and I freaked out, 12 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:42,879 Speaker 3: this don't tell me tell me on the podcast. 13 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 1: And you were like, we can't be friends again until 14 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: we record the podcast because this is obviously something I 15 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,040 Speaker 1: would tell you as a friend. But I get your 16 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: idea of wanting it to be organic on the podcast, 17 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: since that's what we talked about last week, and I 18 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: feel like my scams score might change. Well. 19 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 3: To be honest, I was thinking about it, and I 20 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,120 Speaker 3: think I was being a little bit too kind right 21 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 3: because I didn't want you to feel like you were 22 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 3: getting scammed. 23 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:07,199 Speaker 1: So, okay, we'll get back to today. Last week, we 24 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: talked about two core feelings lonely and hurt. So you 25 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: can go listen to that episode if you want, or 26 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: you can even watch it on YouTube. Yeah, which is 27 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: so exciting. Yeah, we have a YouTube channel. What did 28 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:21,039 Speaker 1: you say? We have as of today, well, as of 29 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:24,680 Speaker 1: when we're recording this, we have eighteen subscribers. 30 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 3: But we started with one and so is it you? 31 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 3: I guess it was whoever created it? Okay, so Elizabeth, 32 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,680 Speaker 3: and then I made Patrick follow it, and then I 33 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 3: follow it, and so then I was. 34 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: Like, we have three. Cool, Okay, I've I've started following it. 35 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: We have subscribers. Well, doesn't real what we're real Yeah, 36 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 1: I haven't yet had my kids do it on They're like, 37 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: are we on YouTube? Kids? Is that a different thing? Okay, 38 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 1: cat Crime's in here. We've got nineteen and counting. So 39 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: we just haven't had a YouTube channel for the podcast before. 40 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: So this is very exciting and you'll be able to 41 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 1: watch us. And we're already episode two upgrading our lighting 42 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: and all the things because we realized it's a little 43 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: dark in here. We've got some shadows, so we're making progress. 44 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: You can also sign up for our newsletter, and I 45 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: know that's something that we've gotten DMS and emails about So, 46 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 1: do you want to clarify how to get the newsletter? 47 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 3: Yes, and bear with me because we're working on another 48 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,639 Speaker 3: way for you to get it. So, if you're on Instagram, 49 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,079 Speaker 3: you can go to our Instagram page at Feeling Things Podcast, 50 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,360 Speaker 3: click the link tree it'll just say newsletter sign up, 51 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,519 Speaker 3: Boom done. If you don't have Instagram, we're going to 52 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 3: post that link on our Facebook page that we. 53 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: Will have soon. 54 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 3: Yes, and if you just like can't wait, just email 55 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:41,960 Speaker 3: us and I'll send you the link directly. 56 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 1: eCPC. We've also posted it in our stories and we'll 57 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: keep doing that. But again, if you're not on Instagram, 58 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 1: never mind, you're not seeing the stories. But when you 59 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: do sign up for the email, you do get a treat, 60 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 1: or the newsletter, you do get a treat. It's not 61 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: just like, hey, sign up, you're going to get our 62 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 1: Feeling Things Wheel a whole chart, the little flow charts 63 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: you can better understand your feelings. I'm pretty obsessed with it, 64 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,679 Speaker 1: so shut out Kat for putting that together. Lonely and 65 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 1: hurt those were our feelings last week and today we're 66 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 1: touching on sad and angry. Now, if you remember We 67 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: left a little teaser at the end of last week's 68 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: episode because we were supposed to be talking about fear 69 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,239 Speaker 1: and I was going to touch on my current relationship 70 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: my boyfriend and some fear that I had around that. 71 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: But that story is not just my story. So I 72 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 1: am holding off for a second because I talked to 73 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 1: him about it, and we're just gonna press pause. There's 74 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: obviously we have kids, and there are just some things 75 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 1: that I'm ready to share, but it's we need a 76 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: little bit of time, and I think it's important for 77 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: the fear part, very right, So it's coming. 78 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 3: Yes, I think that's sad story is a really good 79 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 3: story to use for that. 80 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 1: So I think waiting is the best. Waiting is the best. 81 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: So we've we've called an audible and flipped the feelings 82 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: that we're going to go over. But before we get 83 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: to sad and angry, we have our feeling of the day, 84 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: feeling of the day, which is energized. Now, I wanted 85 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: my feeling of the day to be sore. And then 86 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: Cat's like, that's not a feeling and I'm like, tell 87 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: that to my hamstrings. It looks like a bodily sensation. 88 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: It's a physical feeling. 89 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 3: I know, I feel very emotionally sore. You could be 90 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 3: emotionally sore. 91 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 1: No, I'm sore from my sprints that I've been doing. 92 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: I'm still doing my sprints. I told you about that, 93 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: like as a friend, but now on the podcast. Yeah, 94 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: just so that y'all know, we're obviously not trainers, and 95 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,480 Speaker 1: this isn't a workout podcast, so I can't tell you 96 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: what to do. But I've just been listening to a 97 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,280 Speaker 1: lot of things with my perimenopausal body. I'm trying to 98 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 1: learn how I can feel it better and move it 99 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,479 Speaker 1: better to help some of my hormones and my symptoms, 100 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 1: because otherwise I'm going to punch a hole in the wall. 101 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 3: Okay, maybe are you having some Oh I was. 102 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: I'm sure to talk about that, I know, but I 103 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: don't know that it's true any It's more like feels ragey, 104 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 1: but it's I would call it more of it. Is 105 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 1: it a sensation like a sore other than the actual 106 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:13,600 Speaker 1: because nobody's making me rage. My hormones are creating that 107 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: potentially creating that. Now, sprints take that. That's just part 108 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: of my regimen. Okay, Like it's one. It's like we're 109 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: gonna look at it as like this is a recipe, 110 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 1: and how I'm eating and how I'm working out and 111 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 1: how I'm resting and all plays role. All of that 112 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,120 Speaker 1: is going to play a role. So I've been sprinting 113 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: for just thirty seconds, but how many are you doing? 114 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: One thirty second sprint in the movie five? That's it? 115 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 1: Do you like do thirty seconds and rest for a 116 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: minute than thirty seconds? What do you do? Yeah? You 117 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,800 Speaker 1: rest for a minute and a half, a minute and 118 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: a half to two. Yeah. And I'm also taking this 119 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,600 Speaker 1: from a doctor that I heard, so I that's why 120 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,120 Speaker 1: I'm hesitant to say exactly because I don't know. Maybe 121 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: it's not something you should go do. I don't even 122 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: know really how my body is reacting to yet again, 123 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: I'm sore, but I do feel energized from it, and 124 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,839 Speaker 1: I feel strong, Okay. I mean I had the treadmill 125 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:11,160 Speaker 1: at ten point oh, which is fast fad, and now 126 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 1: at first I did nine point zero and I was like, 127 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,719 Speaker 1: I think I can go to ten point oh. That's 128 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 1: probably pushing it, which is why I'm sore. You also 129 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: were a runner was twenty five years ago. I don't 130 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: so wear. I don't like running. And that's the point. 131 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,160 Speaker 1: I think what I'm trying to do is push myself 132 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 1: cardiovascularly or shock my system to where also my body's like, oh, hey, 133 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: we want to build this up. Let's build some endurance, 134 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 1: let's build strength, and then hopefully that helps all the 135 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: other things in my body when it starts to freak 136 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 1: out from hormones, it's like, hey, we got this. We're 137 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,279 Speaker 1: not scared of a little shock to the system. We 138 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,280 Speaker 1: can handle this. You don't have to punch a hole 139 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: in the wall. We've got you well. 140 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 3: And that's a more gentle shock to your system than 141 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 3: a lot of things that I think people might think 142 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 3: to do five sprints like you. 143 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: Can five thirty seconds past, but it doesn't. Your sprint 144 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be ten. No, it doesn't. I just 145 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 1: probably over yours myself. But that's one of the things 146 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: that I'm doing for myself, including well, one more thing 147 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: I'll say in part of that, which I think is 148 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 1: the energy piece too, is as I'm starting to have 149 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 1: protein coffee, which isn't anything crazy. I'm just putting two 150 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 1: tablespoons of way protein in my coffee. I'm still having 151 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 1: food around it, but my face is drink coffee plain. Well, 152 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 1: my face is like, is it unflavored? Yeah? 153 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 3: Okay, I'm thinking you're putting like chocolate protein powders. Well 154 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 3: that could be yummy, you think, yeah, it'd be thick, right. 155 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 1: No, you you mix it up, it'd be real good. 156 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: But this is just a way I'm lacking in protein. Yeah, 157 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 1: And I've had multiple doctors tell me, especially being a 158 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 1: woman in my forties, that away protein is what I need. 159 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 1: And I always avoided way because I was trying to 160 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: avoid dairy. But it's not the same thing. And also 161 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 1: I don't need to avoid dairy. It was just a 162 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 1: trend at some point that I took part in. But 163 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: I've when you're growing, I'm growing and I don't need 164 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 1: to be scared of certain things. But now it's just 165 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: like a oh, this is a little way for me 166 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: to get some extra protein. But I do feel more 167 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 1: energized from it. I think because I'm getting more of 168 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,560 Speaker 1: what my body needs, you're getting more energy, which is nutriance. 169 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: It is, and I think I'd be proud of me 170 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: because I also did my homework. Not that you assigned 171 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: this to me, but I felt like when I was 172 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: looking it up and researching it, I'm like, cow be proud. 173 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: I chose our feeling of the day, which is energized, 174 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: and I found the gift and the impairment. 175 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 3: Oh so you gave yourself a homework assignment and you 176 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,079 Speaker 3: did it, but I felt like it was from you, Okay. 177 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, Subconsciously I was like, you better find this. 178 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 179 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: I was like, cat's going to be proud because you 180 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:46,080 Speaker 1: just want to make you proud. Okay. So the gift 181 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 1: of being energized, when you acknowledge it, it's a spark. 182 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 1: It's your body and mind saying let's go. When you 183 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: lean into it, you build momentum, you take inspired action, 184 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: you create, you move, you speak up and follow through. 185 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 1: Most of the time, right, it's often a window of motivation. 186 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:08,640 Speaker 1: So it's like, feeling energized is the door and take 187 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 1: advantage window, and it's open, so you got to go 188 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: in or you can stay on the other side. But 189 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 1: then that'll lead you to the impairment, which I'll tell 190 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: you about, and it's not good. When you ride that wave, 191 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: you surprise yourself with what you're capable of. You'll go 192 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: from a nine point zero to a ten point Oh 193 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, just like that. Now, if you suppress 194 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 1: an energized window of opportunity, this is the impairment. If 195 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: you don't honor that energy, it can turn inward into restlessness, agitation, 196 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: or even anxiety. That buzzing feeling needs somewhere to go, 197 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 1: And if you silence it for too long, you might 198 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 1: start feeling stuck or numb, like you're dragging through life 199 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 1: with the brakes on. 200 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 3: Oo. 201 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 1: So don't don't miss out. If you fill a window, go, yeah, 202 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,720 Speaker 1: take advantage, go for it. Yeah. So, I don't know if. 203 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 3: You've mentioned this when I don't remember when we were 204 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,960 Speaker 3: talking about what we're going to do fear because the 205 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 3: first time we recorded, we talked about this. 206 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 1: Last week we had to delete the episode and start over. 207 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: We'd had shared that I had hurt her. That's not 208 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: the way we're gonna put it. You felt hurt by me? No, okay, sorry, 209 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: because hurt because of something I was saying. You felt hurt. 210 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 3: Wait, let me give you a framework for this, because 211 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:26,200 Speaker 3: I think this can be helpful. It's true when blank happened, 212 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 3: I felt hurt. So when you said this is not 213 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:33,040 Speaker 3: a therapy podcast, I felt hurt. So here's the event 214 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 3: and then I'm taking responsibility for the feeling. 215 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,440 Speaker 1: I love this framework because this actually is like a 216 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 1: script you can use for your relationship. And I obviously 217 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 1: know the script, but I have a hard time even 218 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 1: acting it out because it can be a game changer 219 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: in your marriage, your your partnership, a friendship, your relationship 220 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,240 Speaker 1: with your kids, because oh my gosh, as parents, if 221 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 1: we could teach our kids to communicate this way and 222 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: they would just grow up knowing that, yeah, yeah, they 223 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:05,199 Speaker 1: would enter into all these healthy relationships in their twenties. 224 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,079 Speaker 1: Do you know the script? Do want me to say it? Okay, 225 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,320 Speaker 1: I want you to give the thing again because you 226 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: said so, just gave it the frame. I love therapy words. 227 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 1: I love that this is a therapy podcast. I love it. 228 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: I love it because the framework is so good and 229 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: that way people can like have the script, so it's like, 230 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: obviously I need you to do it because I even 231 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 1: struggle with it. But you know, with me with scripts, 232 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: because I had scripts with some stuff going on with 233 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 1: my kids, like their therapists would give me scripts, and 234 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 1: I would always be so scared I was going to 235 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: mess it up. Like sometimes I would be in the 236 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,680 Speaker 1: middle of a whole thing with them and I my 237 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 1: son in particular, and I'd be like, one second, I 238 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 1: will be right back, and I would go to my 239 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 1: bedroom and I would look up at the email and 240 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,679 Speaker 1: look at the script that therapists gave me, and I'd 241 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,440 Speaker 1: write it down. I put it in my back pocket 242 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,679 Speaker 1: because in the moment, I didn't want to mess it up, 243 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: because it's like the slight alteration of how you say 244 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 1: it changes everything. 245 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I with any of this stuff, the more 246 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,559 Speaker 3: you use it it will be so where you don't 247 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 3: have to like read something. 248 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: I've used these a lot, and I still forget themselves. 249 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 3: So this one, and there's probably a lot of versions 250 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,440 Speaker 3: of this that are basically the same. When you blank 251 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 3: or when blank happened? Blank is the event when blank, 252 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 3: I felt blank, what it brought up for me is blank. 253 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 3: Or you can say the judgment I had was blank. 254 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 3: And then if you want to take it a step farther, 255 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,320 Speaker 3: you can say what I need from you is blank. 256 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 3: And then if you're really trying to have some intentional 257 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:33,680 Speaker 3: dialogue you might have that person you might say, at 258 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,200 Speaker 3: the end, can you tell me what you heard me say? 259 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,680 Speaker 3: So then they'll repeat it and if they got it wrong, 260 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,160 Speaker 3: then I can make okay, let me try again until 261 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,920 Speaker 3: you actually hear what I'm saying. So a lot of 262 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 3: times we're listening and we're hearing judgments too, so we're 263 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 3: not actually hearing the actual words. So when you said 264 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 3: this was not a therapy podcast, I felt hurt. The 265 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 3: story I made up was that you you thought I 266 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 3: was stupid or didn't want me to talk too. 267 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 1: Much, or I judgment I didn't value you. 268 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:12,679 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, And then what I need from you is 269 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 3: a conversation about kind of the rules we have on 270 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,239 Speaker 3: this podcast. 271 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,520 Speaker 1: And I need you to change it to a therapy one. 272 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 1: I just couldn't say that, but I did. I woke 273 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 1: up with that epiphany of like it is okay, Kat 274 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,559 Speaker 1: is a therapist, and we are rolling with this niche 275 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 1: and our nichees feelings and feelings. 276 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:33,240 Speaker 3: Are and now look how energized you are about it 277 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 3: on the therapy podcast. 278 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 1: Here we are okay. So we had a delete the 279 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 1: first episode because I was saying over and over this 280 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:43,360 Speaker 1: is not a therapy podcast. We had to delete it. 281 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 1: I guess where you were. Where you were going with 282 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,600 Speaker 1: this is that we also had to delete the second 283 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:51,480 Speaker 1: episode but not because if something anybody said or did 284 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 1: that hurt anybody or made anybody actually really good uncomfortable. 285 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 1: It was really good. It was really good, and I 286 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:02,959 Speaker 1: honestly thought we could salvage it. But the yard people came. 287 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,400 Speaker 1: So I do have a company that comes to mow 288 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,959 Speaker 1: my front and backyard, and we're kind of at a 289 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 1: side of the house where you can hear things front yard, backyard, 290 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: and sideyard. So there was a lot of mowing happening, 291 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 1: and we were recording on a day that we don't 292 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 1: normally record because I had asked them, please do not 293 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 1: come on this day because this is our recording day. 294 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 1: Will we had to record on a different day, and 295 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,760 Speaker 1: I forgot to tell them, So then all of a sudden, 296 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: it's like bo and Cat's not really hearing it. I 297 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: hear it the whole time. I'm thinking, but you weren't 298 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 1: bothered by it, or you were like, oh, it's fine, 299 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 1: this is not a thing, or maybe it won't pick 300 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,080 Speaker 1: up because that's what happens at your office every day. 301 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,360 Speaker 1: So one I was like, this is really good. I 302 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:46,320 Speaker 1: don't want to ruin this. 303 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 3: And I thought maybe since you weren't saying anything, it 304 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 3: won't pick up. But also I am so used to 305 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 3: a weed whacker being outside of the door of my office, 306 00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 3: because my office is the front of the house that 307 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 3: our office is in, like my actual offices. And they'll 308 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 3: come and I'll be just sitting there with a client 309 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:06,960 Speaker 3: and I'll be can you. 310 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: Say it a little louder? And I'll. 311 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 3: Scream mean, and I'm like, this is the most un 312 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 3: therapeutic room there is. However, I've tried to reframe it 313 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 3: as it's good exposure therapy. In some way, I don't 314 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,520 Speaker 3: like it, but I'm like, oh, I can roll with this, 315 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 3: like who cares, I can like stay in tune with you. 316 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 1: But I thought you thought that too, because you'd say 317 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 1: a thing. Yeah No, I was thinking the whole time 318 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 1: this episode is going in the trash but maybe not, 319 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,600 Speaker 1: maybe not, maybe not, And then afterwards I was like, yeah, 320 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 1: it's People would be like, fine, I can't. There's like 321 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 1: you say it a little hour is a huge lawnmower, 322 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: And I'm picturing like being one of Cat's clients and 323 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,760 Speaker 1: being like if I was doing brain spotting with you 324 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 1: or something and there was a lawnmower, I'd be like, 325 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 1: can I get a discount. 326 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 3: Literally, and I would say, yes, I'm sorry, Yeah, I 327 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 3: have Actually good for you for asking want people to 328 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 3: come at an appropriate time or a time that would work, 329 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 3: because I've asked so many times for our property manager 330 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 3: to let me know when they're coming. Not sure, sure, 331 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:14,280 Speaker 3: of course, yes, that makes sense. Guess how many times 332 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 3: they have actually done that? 333 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,479 Speaker 1: Zero? Zero times. Yeah, so there's no follow through. That's unfortunate. 334 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,880 Speaker 1: So that's our that's our Episode two got deleted as well. Story. 335 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 1: So we're on a roll here. I hope from here 336 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:31,560 Speaker 1: on now, everything we record is usable because we're treating 337 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 1: the show like it's live. We're doing it live. We're 338 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,720 Speaker 1: doing it live, which is why I just rolled with it, 339 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 1: I know, and I didn't want to. Like, we did 340 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 1: have momentum and we were telling good stories, which actually, now, 341 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 1: don't you think about it? Isn't it so glad? The 342 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 1: yard people coming? This just hit me because we talked 343 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 1: about the boyfriend stuff and that all after I talk 344 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 1: to him. I need to wait. Also, I have to 345 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,760 Speaker 1: point out you, did you notice what you just said? 346 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:04,440 Speaker 1: Boyfriend said, isn't it so glad? And we talked last week? 347 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,640 Speaker 3: We talked last week on the episode that we can't 348 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 3: use about Glad, and you talked about I'm going to 349 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:09,560 Speaker 3: use that word more. 350 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, well now I already use it a lot, but 351 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,479 Speaker 1: we're not talking about Glad today because Glad is with 352 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,879 Speaker 1: Fear and that will be when the boyfriend conversation happened. 353 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: That is crazy, but it worked out. 354 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 3: But okay, so there's that I want to hear about 355 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 3: what you're going to text me about the con artist. 356 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:40,440 Speaker 1: So last week Kat gave me a little face fitness checklist. 357 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,479 Speaker 1: I had to answer yes or no to some questions 358 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,640 Speaker 1: that she had and ultimately you determined that it wasn't 359 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,119 Speaker 1: a scam or whatever. Well, then this is the email 360 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 1: that I got between now and then, which also, this 361 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,879 Speaker 1: didn't make it into the trash second episode, so this 362 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,200 Speaker 1: is meant to happen, meant to be. So this is 363 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 1: a perfect example of like when things go wrong, eventually 364 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:04,440 Speaker 1: you'll be like, oh, what does this make possible? Because 365 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,640 Speaker 1: it makes possible that now we get to update this 366 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:11,880 Speaker 1: closer to the face fitness scam situation. And I get 367 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: an email and the subject is deadline. Your gift expires 368 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: tonight all caps. And then she said, hey, Amy, this 369 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,160 Speaker 1: is the closest thing there is to working one on 370 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,280 Speaker 1: one with me. There's going to be a problem, Maria 371 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: class every month if you sign up for this once 372 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:32,960 Speaker 1: in a lifetime opportunity to be a monthly it says 373 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 1: once in a lifetime, once in a lifetime opportunity for 374 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:41,120 Speaker 1: like I have to be a monthly subscriber. She said, 375 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:45,199 Speaker 1: this is invaluable. This really takes your biggest insecurities and 376 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 1: eliminates them one at a time. When you join today, 377 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:53,959 Speaker 1: you'll get a fifty three minute advanced facelifting routine. In 378 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:58,240 Speaker 1: your members area, you'll also find a fourteen minute miracle routine. 379 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,560 Speaker 1: It's actually a bit Z Day routine, but members started 380 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,680 Speaker 1: calling it a miracle routine, so that's stuck. There's another 381 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: one called the Holy Grail routine. I mean you can 382 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 1: tell I'm already sold where I'm like the Holy Grail? Like, 383 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 1: how are you me at miracle? I like, where do 384 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,920 Speaker 1: the fifty three minute one? I'm not interested in again 385 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: because time. Yeah, some of the stuff is so crazy 386 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,560 Speaker 1: time wise, but this is part of her gift that 387 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:25,239 Speaker 1: she's in Bold. The women in the group have been 388 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:26,159 Speaker 1: going crazy about it. 389 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:27,159 Speaker 3: M hm. 390 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: Then this is where I was like oh Kat with 391 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 1: her scam questions, because this I would have to admit to, 392 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,679 Speaker 1: she says. The first month is on me. Here she 393 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 1: is with like the gift, She goes, that's right, I'm 394 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 1: giving you a free month as a gift, and then 395 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,959 Speaker 1: she attached the link. So it's a thirty day free trial. 396 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 1: Another special link. It'll be ninety nine dollars a month, 397 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:54,920 Speaker 1: but today zero dollars for the first month, and then 398 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:59,639 Speaker 1: after the free trial you can pay until you choose 399 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,040 Speaker 1: to camp. So here's what I did. You want to know. 400 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 3: I was going to say, you did you sign up? 401 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,400 Speaker 3: I signed up because you think you're going to cancel it, and. 402 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 1: I sent myself an email, don't forget you signed up 403 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:15,640 Speaker 1: for this. Make sure to cancel it within thirty days 404 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 1: from now. So I'm gonna I'm not going to pay 405 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,600 Speaker 1: for this, but you bet I got the Holy Grail 406 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 1: routine and I got the miracle, and so I have everything. 407 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,440 Speaker 1: I haven't done it yet, but once I do it, 408 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 1: I will let you know if it's worth it. And 409 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,920 Speaker 1: then if I become a monthly member. But I've I've 410 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 1: emailed myself a reminder to cancel. Okay, can you also 411 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 1: email me that because you want to check in. But 412 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,399 Speaker 1: I mean, this is where I'm like, I get that 413 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,240 Speaker 1: you probably think all of these keywords are very scammy, 414 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: and they are. I know this now because you're aware. 415 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,200 Speaker 1: I'm aware. So can you get scammed if you're aware? 416 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 1: That is an interesting question for you just to knit about. 417 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 1: I'm choosing to be scammed, right, I am choosing to 418 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 1: give zero dollars for thirty days to test this stuff out, 419 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,919 Speaker 1: and then I will let y'all know. And you know what, 420 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,199 Speaker 1: then I'm like, you're scamming the scammer. Scamming the scammer, 421 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,840 Speaker 1: because I'm going to take this routine and I'm going 422 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,160 Speaker 1: to put my own spin on it, and then I'm 423 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 1: just going to show y'all how to do it. For 424 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 1: forget instaram except for I don't know everything that she knows. 425 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,359 Speaker 1: I know, I'm just kidding. I'm not going to do that. 426 00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,080 Speaker 1: I do appreciate her work and she's clearly put a 427 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,360 Speaker 1: lot of time into this, But also is what she's 428 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:32,800 Speaker 1: saying legit or she' like cool? I gotta go film 429 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,679 Speaker 1: a fifty three minute video of basically nothing. I'm just 430 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,399 Speaker 1: misoging certain parts acting like I know what I'm talking about, 431 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,199 Speaker 1: and I'm charging an arm and a leg for it, Like, 432 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,639 Speaker 1: is that what she's doing if she's a scammer? There 433 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 1: are so many people that do that though, but I 434 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 1: don't understand that, So why would they do that to me? 435 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 1: Because there are people like you? Then I'm like, I'll 436 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 1: sign up. 437 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:55,760 Speaker 3: But that's so funny because that email goes like I 438 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 3: was laughing as you started reading it, because it starts 439 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 3: already like I'm thinking about the check cliss. 440 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,400 Speaker 1: And it's like boom boom, boom boom invaluable act. Now 441 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,119 Speaker 1: nothing else is as good as this for me. Yes, 442 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,760 Speaker 1: this is the closest thing you'll get to one on 443 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 1: one and again I am everything. And again, we don't 444 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,080 Speaker 1: even know her credentials. No, I don't even know where 445 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,600 Speaker 1: she is in the world. We don't know if she's 446 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 1: a robot. Right, So she does have great skin, like 447 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 1: people accuse her of having I see her on a 448 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,600 Speaker 1: video though her having good skin. 449 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 3: Come on, okay, I will say people, if you think 450 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 3: our skin is good, it's because you're actually seeing real skin. 451 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:33,879 Speaker 1: We didn't edit it, but you could do that, okay, 452 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,440 Speaker 1: because I guess with certain lighting. Yes, she can look better, 453 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,120 Speaker 1: but she doesn't. She'll get what I'm saying is people 454 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,399 Speaker 1: accused her of botox. But then she'll get close up 455 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: in the camera and she'll show her forehead moving, so 456 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:48,240 Speaker 1: she says, I don't have botox. Okay, whatever, moving on, 457 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 1: I'm done. What are our feelings? We're gonna start with 458 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,879 Speaker 1: sad like you like, I'm sorry to feel sad now 459 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,760 Speaker 1: because you are feeling of the day. Well, last thing 460 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,880 Speaker 1: I'll say, No, No, feeling of the day is energized. These 461 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:05,359 Speaker 1: are our core feelings. If this thing brings you joy 462 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,480 Speaker 1: and you are aware of it, I don't. 463 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 3: Care if you do it. It's now just kind of 464 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 3: silly and funny. But if she does end up scamming 465 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 3: you and you lose thousands of dollars, you might have 466 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 3: sense you might forget to cancel the subscription. 467 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:25,679 Speaker 1: No, I emailed myself and I an e duh, Like, 468 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,439 Speaker 1: I don't forget to do anything like that. What are 469 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 1: you talking about? I probably have, Like I probably have 470 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,040 Speaker 1: thousands of emails to myself and thousands of screenshots of 471 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 1: things that I will remember quote unquote to go do it, 472 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:43,240 Speaker 1: and I don't. All right, So it's yeah, So sad. 473 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 3: Sad, let's talk about sad because it would be sad 474 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:49,359 Speaker 3: if you missed that email reminder. Okay, So when we 475 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,159 Speaker 3: went through these last time, we talked about how they 476 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:55,560 Speaker 3: all have a core need which can also be expanded 477 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,440 Speaker 3: to what we're saying. And then if you feel sadness, 478 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 3: you're going to end up getting a gift in that 479 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,119 Speaker 3: even though it doesn't feel good in the moment. And 480 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:09,000 Speaker 3: if you repress or ignore sadness, there's an impairment that's 481 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:09,720 Speaker 3: with every feeling. 482 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,959 Speaker 1: So we're going to talk about those. Are you ready. 483 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 1: I'm ready. Okay, I sound sad a lot. Okay, well 484 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 1: we'll talk about that. 485 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, Well we all have and and I'm glad 486 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,879 Speaker 3: you said that because a lot of people want to, 487 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,960 Speaker 3: you know, send a message, whether it's to themselves or 488 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 3: the world, that I don't get sad or I don't 489 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 3: get down, or I don't feel that feeling. And that's 490 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,520 Speaker 3: not really when you get into this stuff a flex 491 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 3: because if you aren't feeling sadness, you're not getting one 492 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 3: of these gifts. That's imperative to live I think, a 493 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:44,119 Speaker 3: full life. So the need, the core need, would be 494 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 3: to grieve something or to be comforted, to be seen 495 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 3: to be soothed, something like any and supported. Yeah, anything 496 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:56,800 Speaker 3: like that, which support to acknowledge our need for support 497 00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 3: and comfort is also acknowledging our need for other people so. 498 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 1: Out, which you said something in last week's couch Talks 499 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 1: that feels in alignment with that. Even though we were 500 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,440 Speaker 1: talking about sharing or over sharing on a first date, 501 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 1: but you started off, and I think you even made 502 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,359 Speaker 1: this a social clip, So that's probably why it's in 503 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,080 Speaker 1: my mind, just because I watched it over and over 504 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 1: and over, just a me shout out Feeling Things podcast 505 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,760 Speaker 1: on Instagram. But I did watch the clip. I think 506 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 1: probably I was posting it my stories, and you know, 507 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,720 Speaker 1: it replays while you're typing, and I just kept hearing 508 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,280 Speaker 1: your voice over and over. But you said, I'm a 509 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:38,000 Speaker 1: big fan of allowing people to know how to be 510 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 1: there for you or to know how to show up 511 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 1: and support you, and so sharing things is important to 512 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:45,960 Speaker 1: an extent. I mean, maybe not on a first date. 513 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,720 Speaker 1: You don't have to let everybody in. But sometimes as 514 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,160 Speaker 1: friends we don't want to burden people or share too much. 515 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,800 Speaker 1: It's like, oh, they have a lot going on. But 516 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,120 Speaker 1: then you rob them of the opportunity of being there 517 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:56,359 Speaker 1: for you. 518 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you don't get as in the other person, 519 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:02,840 Speaker 3: Or I could say this for myself, like I don't 520 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,879 Speaker 3: get to decide what's a burden for other people, So 521 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,280 Speaker 3: I don't get to decide what's. 522 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 1: A burden for my friends. You get to decide that. 523 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 3: But if I never share stuff with you, then I'm 524 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 3: assuming that it is when it might not even be 525 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:19,959 Speaker 3: a burden. It would be a gift to you as 526 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 3: a friend. Yeah, So that would be kind of around 527 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 3: what the need would be. 528 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,640 Speaker 1: Now, if you don't feel sad and you. 529 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,320 Speaker 3: Push it away and you're unaware of it, what's going 530 00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,440 Speaker 3: to happen is you're going to look over time, You're 531 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 3: going to have this like self pity. Whether you share 532 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,600 Speaker 3: that with people or not, you're gonna that's going to 533 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,120 Speaker 3: be there, and you end up showing up in this 534 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,640 Speaker 3: more victimy mindset where things are being done to you 535 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:45,440 Speaker 3: and you have no control at all, And we don't 536 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,320 Speaker 3: have control of everything, but there are things that we 537 00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,720 Speaker 3: do have power over and we don't really we don't 538 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,920 Speaker 3: want to get there. If you are aware of your sadness, 539 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:59,200 Speaker 3: while that and I stress, while feeling. The sadness probably 540 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,960 Speaker 3: is not going to be a fun experience or a 541 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,200 Speaker 3: comfortable experience. What it helps you have and what helps 542 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:10,240 Speaker 3: you breed is gratitude, because sadness is saying I lost 543 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,000 Speaker 3: something that was really important to me, and so we 544 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:16,719 Speaker 3: get to acknowledge what was really important to us versus 545 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 3: I'm not sad, it's fine, whatever, I didn't care. Like, 546 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 3: wait a second, what is important to you deserves to 547 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:27,119 Speaker 3: be acknowledged, that's okay. So that shows up in a 548 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 3: lot of ways. I think when we get rejected. There's 549 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 3: some things that I think are easier to be sad 550 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 3: about being rejected, but there's others depending on who you 551 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,640 Speaker 3: are where you're like, your pride takes over and you're like, oh, 552 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,640 Speaker 3: no big deal. And a lot of times, like jobs, 553 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:46,439 Speaker 3: or if you put yourself up for something like a 554 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 3: promotion or even an award or something like that, you 555 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,959 Speaker 3: put yourself out there and starting a podcast, like if 556 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,880 Speaker 3: we didn't, if nobody listened to it, now, I would 557 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 3: feel sad because this was important to us and it 558 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,240 Speaker 3: was something that we put a lot of time in 559 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 3: and a lot of people don't want. 560 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 1: To say I was let down sad and yeah, set 561 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: by that I got passed over for something and you're 562 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 1: talking about like a work related thing, and I immediately 563 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,200 Speaker 1: took on the oh, well it wasn't really that big 564 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 1: of a deal. But I know that I was stuffing 565 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 1: it down and I think I probably get have healed 566 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 1: from it a lot faster if I just was like, oh, 567 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,080 Speaker 1: I really wanted that that that was hard to hear, 568 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,960 Speaker 1: and like I'm going to be okay, and I want 569 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:35,879 Speaker 1: to give myself space before I jump in with the well, 570 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,720 Speaker 1: what does this now make possible? Yeah? My daughter told 571 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 1: me I asked that question too quickly. Well, I don't, 572 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 1: said tell you. Yeah, Adlin too, my niece. They both 573 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:48,200 Speaker 1: two younger people. They're like, because I want to immediately 574 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,479 Speaker 1: come in. I think as parents or aunts or friends, 575 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:52,920 Speaker 1: we may want to come in and try to fix 576 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 1: something if someone is feeling sad, not fix it, but 577 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,280 Speaker 1: just help them feel better. And what does this make possible? 578 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: Is a great question you get to ask ask yourself, 579 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:06,680 Speaker 1: but don't ask it too quickly. Maybe yeah, because then 580 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 1: you're not allowing to sit in the sadness. 581 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 3: Well, if you remember when shout out Donald Miller when 582 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,600 Speaker 3: we had that interview a couple of years ago with him. 583 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,080 Speaker 3: The reason he gave us those questions is we asked 584 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,120 Speaker 3: him he was talking about his book Here on a Mission, 585 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 3: great book, great book, and it was speaking of victims. Well, yeah, 586 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 3: so it's all about how to be the hero in 587 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 3: your own story. And we were asking him, well, when 588 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:35,960 Speaker 3: something happens in your life that you are really down about, 589 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 3: what do you do to not stay in that moment? 590 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:40,560 Speaker 3: And those are the questions he gave us, And so 591 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 3: this is perfect. Those questions are perfect to bring into 592 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:49,440 Speaker 3: your sadness. We have to acknowledge that there's sadness there, 593 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,320 Speaker 3: and then we get to ask the question first. Then 594 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,960 Speaker 3: just ask the question. Then we're missing part of that. Yes, 595 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,160 Speaker 3: and what does this make possible? 596 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,160 Speaker 1: I'm glad you clarified that, But I think as up 597 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 1: as a mom, So I'm sharing this to other parents. 598 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,960 Speaker 1: We may swoop in right away as our teen is 599 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 1: processing and we're like, okay, well what does this now 600 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 1: make possible? And then they just look at you like okay, cool, 601 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:12,800 Speaker 1: I love you and your fancy questions that are supposed 602 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,760 Speaker 1: to help me, but like, let me just be. And 603 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,760 Speaker 1: so that's just my encouragement on that. 604 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,280 Speaker 3: Would part of that for you be it's hard for 605 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,200 Speaker 3: you to see your kids when they're Yeah, I. 606 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: Want her to be sad, but this is a good 607 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 1: reminder that sadness is good. Like we want sadness, yeah, 608 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 1: because then if we experience the sadness, we can experience gratitude. 609 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,160 Speaker 1: And I have no idea if the doorbell that just 610 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:41,640 Speaker 1: rain is popping up on the podcast here, but we 611 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 1: have been putting a note on my front door that 612 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:48,640 Speaker 1: says do not ring the doorbell or knock because we're recording. 613 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 1: I don't think we put recording because that sounds weird, 614 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,240 Speaker 1: but I think we just say we should put baby 615 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:55,959 Speaker 1: sleeping shuck. 616 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,000 Speaker 3: I do have a sign my door in my office 617 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,720 Speaker 3: that says, do not knock on this door, but I 618 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 3: guess I should say, do not use your. 619 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,240 Speaker 1: What is it called a wind blower. 620 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:12,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not a weed whacker because it's on 621 00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:13,680 Speaker 3: the it's blowing leaves. 622 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 1: A leaf blower. Yeah, don't be sad, be kind, blow 623 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:23,280 Speaker 1: leaves elsewhere. So who knows if that even shut up, 624 00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 1: But it's an example for rolling with it. Things happen. 625 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,520 Speaker 1: We're breezy, We're breezy. It's not going to make me sad, no, 626 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 1: or mad or angry for any other emotions. I actually 627 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 1: feel fine. I feel fine, So well that's not one. No, Actually, 628 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 1: I no, really, I feel I. 629 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,000 Speaker 3: Feel joy and excitement because I'm like, did you get 630 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:43,440 Speaker 3: a package? 631 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,440 Speaker 1: I wonder what it is? Oh, I love where you 632 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 1: reframed that. Thank you for that because I was kind 633 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,800 Speaker 1: of feeling mad at myself for not putting up the sign. 634 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:53,000 Speaker 3: Oh well, that's perfect because we're about to talk about anger. Okay, 635 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:54,520 Speaker 3: are you ready to do you want to talk about 636 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 3: sadness more? 637 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:56,080 Speaker 1: Are you ready? No? I think I want to talk 638 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,040 Speaker 1: about how being sad. You may be touched on this, 639 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:00,520 Speaker 1: but it's not weakness. And I know we have men 640 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 1: that are listening, and I think sometimes they have to be, 641 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,320 Speaker 1: you know, the man of the house or hold it 642 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,880 Speaker 1: together for maybe the women in their life, and that's 643 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,320 Speaker 1: part of maybe how they were brought up. I think 644 00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:16,840 Speaker 1: we're phasing out of that. It was just I'm making 645 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,040 Speaker 1: a generalization, but I think in a lot of my 646 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:24,280 Speaker 1: marriage for seventeen years, I don't it'd be for him 647 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,400 Speaker 1: to talk about, but my experience with him is that 648 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,160 Speaker 1: he didn't have a lot of room for sadness because 649 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:33,640 Speaker 1: he needed to be more to get like he's drossed 650 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 1: a lot of sadness. Yes, like it could be seen 651 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 1: as weak to be sad. 652 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:43,160 Speaker 3: Well, when this is a whole other topic that I 653 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,760 Speaker 3: think would there'd be so much good conversation in. But 654 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 3: historically men aren't couldn't be weak because they were protectors 655 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,280 Speaker 3: and they still can be protectors. But we don't have 656 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:57,400 Speaker 3: the same threats now that maybe we did when we 657 00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:01,280 Speaker 3: were hunters and gatherers, and so you've gotten used to 658 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:06,440 Speaker 3: playing these roles and now men have worked really hard 659 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 3: to push that away. And I have learned that part 660 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:15,360 Speaker 3: of helping, part of wanting men to have that space 661 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,080 Speaker 3: is us allowing it and encouraging it. 662 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 1: They're not going to do it automatically. 663 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:23,440 Speaker 3: But I've noticed some things that have that I've thought 664 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,560 Speaker 3: about men in general, or that I've said to my 665 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,480 Speaker 3: husband or people that I'm dating, and it sends them 666 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,600 Speaker 3: the message of like, there isn't still room for that, 667 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 3: So we have to invite that in for them. 668 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going a space for it. I can share 669 00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:40,960 Speaker 1: an example that I'm not proud of at all, Okay, 670 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,760 Speaker 1: but I learned from it. It's hard to even say 671 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 1: because I'm mortified by myself. But it was in my marriage. 672 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,440 Speaker 1: My husband got out of the Air Force and I 673 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 1: didn't realize how much of his identity was tied to that. 674 00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,640 Speaker 1: So he went to the Air Force Academy after high school, 675 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,480 Speaker 1: went to pilot training right after that, and then nine 676 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 1: to eleven happened while he was at pilot training, so 677 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,560 Speaker 1: then immediately went into to war as a pilot in 678 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,279 Speaker 1: the Air Force. So much of his identity was I'm 679 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,160 Speaker 1: an Air Force. Not only that, his dad was a 680 00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:20,360 Speaker 1: colonel in the Air Force, and since my accessmen was 681 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,640 Speaker 1: five years old, he's like, I'm going to be a 682 00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:24,880 Speaker 1: pilot in the Air Force. So this is I'm painting 683 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:28,920 Speaker 1: a picture that this was his identity, and when he 684 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 1: got out, I only either of us realized how much 685 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,120 Speaker 1: it was going to impact him. And this happens to 686 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,840 Speaker 1: a lot of people that would leave a career like that. 687 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:42,560 Speaker 1: I'm sure there's it could be a firefighter, a policeman, 688 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,719 Speaker 1: maybe even not a first responder type stuff. It could 689 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:47,200 Speaker 1: be any career. But when that becomes your identity and 690 00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,279 Speaker 1: then you no longer have it and you're trying to 691 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,480 Speaker 1: find your way in the world, especially as a military 692 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:56,200 Speaker 1: person because now you're a s civilian, so sometimes some language, 693 00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:58,080 Speaker 1: if you're not that's her, you may not understand. But 694 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:02,440 Speaker 1: that's like identically different world. It's just totally different. And 695 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,560 Speaker 1: I didn't appreciate that. And I don't even think he 696 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:09,360 Speaker 1: realized how difficult the separation was going to be and 697 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:13,480 Speaker 1: how he saw himself, like his worthiness, his value, Like 698 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,720 Speaker 1: what now is he contributing to the world like yous, 699 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,920 Speaker 1: like I was contributing to making the world a safer place, 700 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,040 Speaker 1: a better place. Like he was passionate about the work 701 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:24,120 Speaker 1: he was doing. And not only that, he was special forces, 702 00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:25,880 Speaker 1: Like there was just a lot of really cool things 703 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:29,320 Speaker 1: about his job. Right. So, now that I've painted that picture, 704 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:33,359 Speaker 1: can you imagine if at some point along the way, 705 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:37,279 Speaker 1: now we had other tension in our relationship because of this, 706 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,719 Speaker 1: and there were some things that were happening because that 707 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:43,120 Speaker 1: were frustrating because of the separation, because he didn't know 708 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 1: how to manage it. I don't think he knew how 709 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 1: to be sad about it. And then to your point, 710 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:49,279 Speaker 1: which is what made me think of it, I don't 711 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,279 Speaker 1: think I allowed space for it. Yeah, because even though 712 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 1: I want men to be sad and have space to 713 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:58,239 Speaker 1: be sad. And I've matured a lot since this, Like 714 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,799 Speaker 1: we're going back to like twenty twelve with the story here. 715 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,640 Speaker 1: But I straight up looked at him one day and 716 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:07,040 Speaker 1: I was like, man up, and that is what I said. 717 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:14,440 Speaker 1: And that's Harry like a body like, don't say that. 718 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,640 Speaker 1: That's like the worst thing. I mean, I'm sure there's 719 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,160 Speaker 1: probably worse things I could say, but again, I will 720 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 1: This is not an excuse, but I will say again 721 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:27,160 Speaker 1: there was tension in our relationship. So I was frustrated 722 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:32,360 Speaker 1: and fed up and I said that, and honestly, I 723 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,640 Speaker 1: don't know that he was ever able to let that go. 724 00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 1: And that's not ultimately what led to us getting a 725 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,640 Speaker 1: divorce over ten years later, but it certainly didn't make 726 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:45,799 Speaker 1: things easier because then now he's like, Okay, my safe space, 727 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,279 Speaker 1: which is supposed to be my wife, I now I 728 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:53,000 Speaker 1: don't have permission to be sad here, and I wanted 729 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:54,719 Speaker 1: him to be set. It's almost like we just didn't 730 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,800 Speaker 1: have the tools and we didn't know how to process together. 731 00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,520 Speaker 1: But I should have been like, Hi, this is and 732 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:03,960 Speaker 1: you are struggling. How can I help? But honestly, with 733 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:05,840 Speaker 1: the other tension other things that are going on, I 734 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,319 Speaker 1: don't even know if I would If I would have 735 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:08,920 Speaker 1: said that that that would have been received and it 736 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:10,719 Speaker 1: would have worked. So I don't want to go shitt akutawuda, 737 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:13,320 Speaker 1: but I said that, and I'm not proud. 738 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:18,080 Speaker 3: And that is you also, I think, because I appreciate 739 00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:21,040 Speaker 3: where you're taking all your responsibility for that which you 740 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:24,319 Speaker 3: did it. So it's you're responsible for it, and we 741 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,239 Speaker 3: love the ans that is a part of you, that 742 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,520 Speaker 3: you were conditioned to treat men like that and to 743 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,319 Speaker 3: think of men like that. And so that's the work 744 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:33,239 Speaker 3: we do, is like we have to look at what 745 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:36,359 Speaker 3: do I think and what are these unconscious bias in 746 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,480 Speaker 3: our brains that don't. 747 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,400 Speaker 1: Actually fit with how we really view people. 748 00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:44,239 Speaker 3: And this might I'm not trying to make you feel better, 749 00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,000 Speaker 3: but I do want to relate to you in the 750 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:49,600 Speaker 3: sense that I did this two weeks ago, not ten 751 00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:53,920 Speaker 3: years ago. And I also am a therapist. So my 752 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,839 Speaker 3: husband and I were in a fight and he maybe 753 00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:02,879 Speaker 3: had a little tearfall maybe a couple and I looked 754 00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:04,480 Speaker 3: at him and said, why are you crying? 755 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:06,239 Speaker 1: Because there's so much emotion. 756 00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,239 Speaker 3: I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was 757 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,160 Speaker 3: something along the lines of like, why are you crying? 758 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,480 Speaker 1: I don't want you to cry about this. I want 759 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:12,520 Speaker 1: you to do something about it. 760 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:17,120 Speaker 3: Excuse me, yea what That's not the type of human 761 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:20,560 Speaker 3: I want to be let alone, partner or wife. And 762 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:24,480 Speaker 3: so I say this as like I'm in it with you, guys, 763 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,799 Speaker 3: where I have to allow space for my husband to 764 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:31,560 Speaker 3: feel sad and let him know that that sadness is 765 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,560 Speaker 3: not a weakness that actually is going to bring us 766 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,800 Speaker 3: closer if I allow it to be. There has nothing 767 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:40,960 Speaker 3: to do with being able to take care of me, 768 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,400 Speaker 3: or being able to take care of a family, or 769 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,880 Speaker 3: the work that you can or cannot do. That's a 770 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,319 Speaker 3: story we have built up in our head that no 771 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,200 Speaker 3: longer fits the reality. 772 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:55,600 Speaker 1: So you're not alone, is what I'm saying. You're worse. 773 00:38:56,360 --> 00:39:00,920 Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. You didn't left me land. You're a therapist, 774 00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:05,520 Speaker 1: and well I'm just kidding, not going to get for 775 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,560 Speaker 1: advice anymore, joking. I will come to you for advice always. 776 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,279 Speaker 1: I love I love your advice well being a good 777 00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:14,399 Speaker 1: admit I agree, and even though we know better, that's 778 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:18,480 Speaker 1: just great, A great example of even though I know 779 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,840 Speaker 1: better too, Who knows. One day I might be in 780 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,719 Speaker 1: a moment with my boyfriend and I'll be like, man up. 781 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,239 Speaker 1: But then I'll be like, just kidding. What I meant 782 00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,720 Speaker 1: to say is when you blank, I feel blank. Yeah, 783 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,880 Speaker 1: That's what I meant to say. So okay, So sad, 784 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,840 Speaker 1: being sad is not weak to like all two of 785 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,799 Speaker 1: our male listeners right now. Well, it's good for the 786 00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:40,160 Speaker 1: women to also know that so they can share. It 787 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:45,279 Speaker 1: makes space for your husband or boyfriend or son to 788 00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:49,360 Speaker 1: be sad. You know. It's a signal that something, something meaningful, 789 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:53,279 Speaker 1: has been lost, or something meaningful has changed. Yeah, so 790 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,920 Speaker 1: I forgive my twenty twelve self. Do you forgive your 791 00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,480 Speaker 1: two week ago self? Okay, good, all right, I gonna 792 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:12,839 Speaker 1: do better. So we're going to do better. What's our 793 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:17,040 Speaker 1: next emotion feeling? We're going to talk about anger. So 794 00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:19,600 Speaker 1: I love talking about anger. 795 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,960 Speaker 3: It is the easiest feeling other than gladness for me 796 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,200 Speaker 3: to feel, which I think a lot of people can 797 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:29,040 Speaker 3: probably relate to. It is what I call the justice 798 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:33,600 Speaker 3: emotion because when we are aware of this thing, it 799 00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:38,320 Speaker 3: helps us activate passion, and it helps us activate knowing 800 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,960 Speaker 3: what's important to us. It helps us stand up for people, 801 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:44,080 Speaker 3: It helps us stand up for ourselves. It leads us 802 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:47,280 Speaker 3: into all of the directions of being like a strong, 803 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,240 Speaker 3: competent human with a sense of self. 804 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,840 Speaker 1: I love it. It's an empowering emotion. 805 00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,239 Speaker 3: And we're going to talk about too, what anger is 806 00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,360 Speaker 3: and what anger isn't because I think when I say anger, 807 00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:02,120 Speaker 3: what's the image you have in your head? 808 00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:10,399 Speaker 1: Do that again or I don't know, I am am 809 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:15,719 Speaker 1: picturing me making a bowl of cereal and then smashing 810 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:19,160 Speaker 1: it on the ground. Not that I've ever done that. Yeah, okay, 811 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,479 Speaker 1: but I have. I get like this, so was my sister. 812 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:27,680 Speaker 1: Maybe it's hereditary, okay, throwing a dish. I've never thrown 813 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,799 Speaker 1: a dish. That I have a dish. I'm not saying 814 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,960 Speaker 1: at anybody, but like, have you ever just smashed something down? 815 00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:37,319 Speaker 3: I've slammed things. I slammed my door so many times 816 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,280 Speaker 3: as a child. My dad took it off the hinges. 817 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,600 Speaker 1: Oh. He said, don't slam your door one more time, 818 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:45,279 Speaker 1: and I said, yes, I will. What are you going 819 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:45,839 Speaker 1: to do about it? 820 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:49,000 Speaker 3: Slammed it and he took it off, and then I 821 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,719 Speaker 3: was like, I'll show you. So I put two little 822 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,680 Speaker 3: nails at the top of my doorframe and hung a 823 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,160 Speaker 3: sheet over it, and I was like. 824 00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:55,959 Speaker 1: I have a door. 825 00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:59,840 Speaker 3: And my parents love this story because I don't know 826 00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:01,239 Speaker 3: how long I didn't have a door, but it was 827 00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:04,120 Speaker 3: a long time. And my dad was like, I would 828 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,400 Speaker 3: have put your door on the next day, I was 829 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,600 Speaker 3: waiting for you to ask me so where I thought. 830 00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:10,520 Speaker 3: I was like, I'll show you. I'll put this sheet up. 831 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:12,839 Speaker 3: He was like, you can have your doorback. Yeah. 832 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:16,520 Speaker 1: I need to say something, but that's funny. So I slam. 833 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:18,600 Speaker 3: I've slammed some things in my life, but I don't 834 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,680 Speaker 3: think i've ever broken or slammed a dishdown. 835 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,799 Speaker 1: That sounds like it would feel kind of well try it. Yeah, Well, 836 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,200 Speaker 1: so why did you ask me what do I picture 837 00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,279 Speaker 1: with anger? Because I mean I was picturing like some 838 00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:30,520 Speaker 1: angry little like emoji thing I see like the red 839 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,080 Speaker 1: devil emoji in my head when I think about it. 840 00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:35,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, because that's what we told that's what we're taught. 841 00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:38,920 Speaker 3: Anger is is this this like big, loud, bad, scary, 842 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:43,319 Speaker 3: it's fighting, It's all of that, when anger could be 843 00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,680 Speaker 3: a million things that are actually very comfortable to be with. 844 00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:48,120 Speaker 1: But we're not shown that. 845 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:53,360 Speaker 3: And the need around anger is usually some form of 846 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,319 Speaker 3: needing to be heard, whether it's I need to be 847 00:42:56,400 --> 00:43:00,239 Speaker 3: heard or I need this people to know this thing 848 00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:00,799 Speaker 3: about the. 849 00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:02,840 Speaker 1: World or this thing about this person. 850 00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,920 Speaker 3: Like I get angry when my friends are misunderstood, So 851 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,319 Speaker 3: it's not even that I need to be heard, it's 852 00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:09,399 Speaker 3: like my friends need to be heard. 853 00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:11,200 Speaker 1: So that's usually the need. 854 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,360 Speaker 3: And if we feel it, like I said, we have 855 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:17,760 Speaker 3: this empowerment, we again will get our passion. 856 00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:20,200 Speaker 1: It helps us create change in the world. 857 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:25,520 Speaker 3: Now, if we ignore that anger, which is I think 858 00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:28,640 Speaker 3: what a lot of people are taught, specifically women are, 859 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,120 Speaker 3: don't be angry, don't be angry, be grateful, be this, 860 00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,440 Speaker 3: be that, hush, be quiet, don't say that full feathers, 861 00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:39,960 Speaker 3: don't be loud, don't be How can you be a helper? 862 00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:44,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, be a helper without getting in the way of anything. 863 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:50,120 Speaker 3: And when that happens, we end up becoming some form 864 00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:53,160 Speaker 3: of like a and this is going to sound extreme, 865 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,960 Speaker 3: but like this depressed sense of self, so we remove 866 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:56,920 Speaker 3: parts of ourselves. 867 00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:00,800 Speaker 1: I see it as like sort of if you're this big, 868 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:09,120 Speaker 1: let's say we start out this big full blow up dollie. 869 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,080 Speaker 1: One time, my parents had this party and they had 870 00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,520 Speaker 1: a blow up doll, and I don't know why kind 871 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,680 Speaker 1: of now that's what I'm picturing. They said these weird 872 00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:22,799 Speaker 1: parties they had pool parties and naked pull parties, a 873 00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:23,879 Speaker 1: naked blow up doll. 874 00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,160 Speaker 3: But I don't know, Wait, I wait, I think it's 875 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,880 Speaker 3: like a joke that you said they had naked pool parties. 876 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:32,800 Speaker 1: Naked pool parties. Yes, yeah, I remember seeing my friends 877 00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:36,640 Speaker 1: dad naked. Like I was looking through the backyard and 878 00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:40,520 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, there's mister Tucker. He's naked. Yeah. 879 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,840 Speaker 1: They I don't know they were before my parents got divorced. Like, 880 00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:48,560 Speaker 1: I don't think they were never wild, like swingers or anything, 881 00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:52,120 Speaker 1: but it's just kind of they would have parties. Maybe 882 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,560 Speaker 1: they'd be drinking and then people would be like, let's say, 883 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:57,200 Speaker 1: Garcoles off all in the pool. I don't I don't 884 00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:58,640 Speaker 1: know that ever it was naked. I don't know. I 885 00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:02,680 Speaker 1: just know I saw mister we'll call him mister t naked, 886 00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:07,120 Speaker 1: and whenever I started to have this image of a 887 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:10,280 Speaker 1: blow up doll, I'm just inviting you into my brain. Yeah, 888 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,719 Speaker 1: so you're like, okay, you're sort of like part of 889 00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:17,200 Speaker 1: you is depressed. And then I'm like, okay, the word 890 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,480 Speaker 1: that comes to mind for me is deflated. And so 891 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:21,600 Speaker 1: then I'm like, well, find this big blow up doll. 892 00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:23,759 Speaker 1: And then right when I think of me as a 893 00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,239 Speaker 1: blow up doll, I'm like, oh, remember that naked blow 894 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:29,160 Speaker 1: up doll Mom and Dad had at that party, Like 895 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,280 Speaker 1: that's where my brain goes. So I'm just I'm letting 896 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,920 Speaker 1: you in. So then need to do some brain spotting 897 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:41,600 Speaker 1: around this. No, okay, No, it's fine, it's just that 898 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:47,080 Speaker 1: I need to ask my sister. Oh yeah. Also, in 899 00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:50,560 Speaker 1: our living room, we had this little stuffed animal frog 900 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:55,160 Speaker 1: on the bookshelf next to the encyclopedias, and there's like 901 00:45:55,200 --> 00:46:00,000 Speaker 1: this vintage frog. If anybody else knows what I'm talking about, 902 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,319 Speaker 1: like you'll know, Like I think it was like a thing, 903 00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:06,680 Speaker 1: this little vintage stuffed animal frog. It looks like a 904 00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:09,040 Speaker 1: normal frog. But then when you pick it up, there's 905 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,880 Speaker 1: a big penis under the frog. Do you know what? 906 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,239 Speaker 1: But like that was in our living room next to 907 00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:19,600 Speaker 1: the encyclopedias. I don't know why. I think my parents 908 00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:22,040 Speaker 1: are just you know, But then when my dad left, 909 00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,400 Speaker 1: my mom got rid of the penis from well she 910 00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,840 Speaker 1: found Jesus and yeah, I think a lot of things changed, 911 00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:31,520 Speaker 1: but not I think, I know, Okay, a lot of things. 912 00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:34,719 Speaker 1: I do want to say this, I'm laughing. That is 913 00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:36,240 Speaker 1: not normal. What's not normal? 914 00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,560 Speaker 3: One to see your parents having naked parties? Well, two 915 00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:41,640 Speaker 3: to have a penis frog in your living room. 916 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,320 Speaker 1: Okay, I back it up. I had I had parents. 917 00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:47,320 Speaker 1: What I'm saying is, I don't think they were like, hey, kids, 918 00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:49,960 Speaker 1: we're gonna be outside naked. I think they had put 919 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:54,000 Speaker 1: us to bed, we were asleep. They were having neighbors over. 920 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:55,640 Speaker 1: We're calling it a party. But let's say if they 921 00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:59,879 Speaker 1: have four couples over, right, so then they're like, let's 922 00:46:59,920 --> 00:47:03,960 Speaker 1: go swim. And then I peek outside and see mister naked, 923 00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:06,080 Speaker 1: and so now I'm calling it a naked pool party. 924 00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:09,120 Speaker 1: What did the penis frog do? I don't know. I 925 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,080 Speaker 1: need to look it up. Was it like a sex 926 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,759 Speaker 1: I wonder? No, it was the stuffed It had little 927 00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:17,000 Speaker 1: beans inside, like it's a stuffed like a like a paperweight, 928 00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:20,000 Speaker 1: but like a picture like a I didn't see it 929 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:21,880 Speaker 1: because I can't. Well, I bet if we google it, 930 00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:24,560 Speaker 1: we'll find it online. And if it is available or 931 00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:27,040 Speaker 1: for sale on eBay if you're gonna buy thousands of adults. No, 932 00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:30,880 Speaker 1: but I'm thinking like this is no. But I'm wondering 933 00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:32,360 Speaker 1: if we should have kept it because I feel like 934 00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,120 Speaker 1: it's probably something that could be worth a lot of 935 00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:37,440 Speaker 1: money now because they're like this, Like if I hear 936 00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:40,920 Speaker 1: something one day that's like we're selling a very rare 937 00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:47,800 Speaker 1: vintage stuffed frog and his penis at Sotheby's. The auction's 938 00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:49,640 Speaker 1: starting at a million dollars, I'm gonna be like we 939 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,600 Speaker 1: had one of those, you know, like those weird things 940 00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:54,200 Speaker 1: that they sell for a lot of money. 941 00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:57,120 Speaker 3: So I do want to say, Kat is here Cryokat, 942 00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:58,799 Speaker 3: you're acting like you know what this is. 943 00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:02,680 Speaker 1: Oh you knew about Amy having this story? Your parents 944 00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:09,879 Speaker 1: had it? Did your parents had to have a penis? Frug? Okay? Okay, okay, okay, okay. 945 00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:13,160 Speaker 1: But but I mean, yeah, the cat's probably like I 946 00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:19,640 Speaker 1: have parties like that. She's like, she's like that sounds 947 00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:21,120 Speaker 1: like a good time. 948 00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:24,440 Speaker 3: I wish I was her neighbor. 949 00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:30,040 Speaker 1: Yes, Okay, So just to back it up, I guess 950 00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,640 Speaker 1: I'm clarifying that I get that that's not normal, and 951 00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,360 Speaker 1: I don't even know for you to know it. I 952 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,960 Speaker 1: think that's the difference. Your parents didn't know that you knew, right, 953 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,719 Speaker 1: And I don't think they were like, hey kids, look 954 00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:41,600 Speaker 1: we just got a new blow up doll. But I 955 00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:45,839 Speaker 1: think it was the way their personalities were in their friendships. 956 00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,960 Speaker 1: It was like debauchery, sort of like just haha, like 957 00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,040 Speaker 1: we're going over to Cliff and Judy's. That was my parents, 958 00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:54,680 Speaker 1: Like I'm showing up with a blow up doll. Yeah, 959 00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:56,600 Speaker 1: and I'm going to put it on their couch and 960 00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,560 Speaker 1: just see how long it takes them to notice. And 961 00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:02,000 Speaker 1: so then there's this naked blop. So back to which 962 00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:02,800 Speaker 1: if you think. 963 00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,879 Speaker 3: About your parents being like our age, like that would 964 00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:06,320 Speaker 3: be kind of like a funny prank somebody. 965 00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:10,399 Speaker 4: Would do, right, I get it, okay, So that we've 966 00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:15,600 Speaker 4: taken him a little detour down memory lane, what I 967 00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:17,399 Speaker 4: was picturing is me as. 968 00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:22,319 Speaker 1: A doll, a blow up doll with fully closed and 969 00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,239 Speaker 1: like I've got the little part where the air goes 970 00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:26,920 Speaker 1: in and it's like slightly open, and then every time 971 00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:31,480 Speaker 1: you suppress this, it's like psh, a little more air 972 00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,880 Speaker 1: goes out, and then you do it again and psh, 973 00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:39,400 Speaker 1: a little more air goes out until eventually you're like unrecognizable. 974 00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:42,320 Speaker 1: M Yeah, that's actually a really good metaphor. 975 00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:47,520 Speaker 3: You're welcome and the anytime, and it gave us a 976 00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:50,319 Speaker 3: really fun story. But on the other side too, with 977 00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,759 Speaker 3: that blow up metaphor, you can also think about like 978 00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,600 Speaker 3: me trying to hold in my anger. 979 00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,319 Speaker 1: It takes a lot of energy and so it can all. 980 00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,480 Speaker 3: You can also use metaphor of taking a beach ball 981 00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:04,239 Speaker 3: and putting it underwater and I can only hold it 982 00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:07,600 Speaker 3: for so long, so when it does come out, it's 983 00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:11,200 Speaker 3: gonna come out in this crazy exaggerated way, which is 984 00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,560 Speaker 3: a lot of times what happens. And that's what people think. 985 00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,400 Speaker 3: I think a lot of times when they see anger, 986 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:18,160 Speaker 3: they see that beach ball blowing up out of the water, 987 00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:23,040 Speaker 3: versus what actually was going on in that actual shade 988 00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,400 Speaker 3: of anger. That is not people see. I think anger 989 00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:28,000 Speaker 3: is like rage a lot of times. And one of 990 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,600 Speaker 3: my friends used a couple years ago the metaphor of 991 00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:33,040 Speaker 3: like Jesus was one of the angriest people in the 992 00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,520 Speaker 3: world on Earth ever, and he walked around everywhere he 993 00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:38,480 Speaker 3: went being like looking perfect. 994 00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:43,000 Speaker 1: He was hit so much anger. It's how you show it. Yeah, well, 995 00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:44,560 Speaker 1: I mean you said it can be such a thing 996 00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,879 Speaker 1: for justice, and yeah, so that makes sense. And if 997 00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:50,160 Speaker 1: when you brought up shades, it made me want to 998 00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,480 Speaker 1: go look at our feelings, wheel to look at the 999 00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:57,000 Speaker 1: different shades of anger and share some of those bitter irritation, 1000 00:50:57,320 --> 00:51:05,719 Speaker 1: discuss jealous us, did critical, contempt, frustration, annoyance, resentful and 1001 00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:06,960 Speaker 1: also passion. 1002 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:12,160 Speaker 3: Which I have learned to lean into that because I 1003 00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:15,080 Speaker 3: think for me, I used to I used to tell 1004 00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:19,319 Speaker 3: myself a story that a lot of that justice and 1005 00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:24,960 Speaker 3: passion was like annoying or too much or overwhelming. If 1006 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,799 Speaker 3: you ask Patrick his favorite thing about me, he says, 1007 00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,759 Speaker 3: your passion. When he first told me that, I was like, 1008 00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:32,680 Speaker 3: you're just trying to be nice. 1009 00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,160 Speaker 1: Stop gassing me up. Yeah, And he's like, no, it's 1010 00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:35,760 Speaker 1: your passion. 1011 00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,640 Speaker 3: And when I do get kind of fiery, he's like, 1012 00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:41,200 Speaker 3: this is I love how much you care about things. 1013 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,000 Speaker 3: And also if I didn't allow myself to care about things, 1014 00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:46,520 Speaker 3: I don't know that I would be doing what I do. 1015 00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:48,840 Speaker 1: Oh, I definitely don't think it would be. 1016 00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:53,640 Speaker 3: So allow yourself to acknowledge your anger, so you can 1017 00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:56,359 Speaker 3: acknowledge the stuff that really matters to you and it 1018 00:51:56,400 --> 00:52:00,880 Speaker 3: actually helps you lead, I think, a more meaningful life. 1019 00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:04,759 Speaker 1: I want to get to an example of anger with 1020 00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,680 Speaker 1: your partner because I think that could be relatable, like 1021 00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:11,680 Speaker 1: if your partner is picking at you and joking at you, like. 1022 00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:15,879 Speaker 3: Making little like fun. This actually happened a couple years ago. 1023 00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,560 Speaker 3: We were with Patrick's family on family vacation. It's the 1024 00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,560 Speaker 3: first time I met them, and we were playing cards 1025 00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:23,160 Speaker 3: and I had to use the restroom. So I got 1026 00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:25,520 Speaker 3: up to go use the restroom and it was a 1027 00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:29,840 Speaker 3: glass door, and somebody had opened one side of the 1028 00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,680 Speaker 3: door and then locked the other side. 1029 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,040 Speaker 1: Well I didn't see that, and it was glass. 1030 00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:37,759 Speaker 3: So I walked with like some excitement and some pep 1031 00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:39,360 Speaker 3: in my step to go to the restroom. And I 1032 00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:41,760 Speaker 3: went to Patrick's new girl and I'm like, you guys 1033 00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:42,800 Speaker 3: love me, and I'm so fun. 1034 00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:43,760 Speaker 1: I'll be right back. 1035 00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:47,560 Speaker 3: And then I walked into the door and was like 1036 00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,440 Speaker 3: pressing on it and pressing on it and pressing on it. 1037 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,440 Speaker 3: And then I was like oh, and then I just 1038 00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,680 Speaker 3: walked through the other door. I didn't think it was 1039 00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:58,239 Speaker 3: that big of a deal, Like, yeah, that was locked, 1040 00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:01,239 Speaker 3: No big deal. When I got back, they all were 1041 00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:03,799 Speaker 3: laughing so hard, and it felt like I don't think 1042 00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:05,680 Speaker 3: they meant anything of it, and I don't think they 1043 00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:07,680 Speaker 3: were like talking about me the whole time I was gone, 1044 00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:11,680 Speaker 3: but they kept making comments about it, and Patrick kept 1045 00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:14,600 Speaker 3: making comments about it, and I had to say, hey, 1046 00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,120 Speaker 3: I can take a joke, but when you do it 1047 00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,879 Speaker 3: this many times, it's a little frustrating, like I want 1048 00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:22,799 Speaker 3: I want to move on. I don't want this to 1049 00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,399 Speaker 3: all be focused on me. So I can take a joke, 1050 00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:27,520 Speaker 3: but it's getting a little bit much. If I didn't 1051 00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,680 Speaker 3: do that, I'm sure I would have been so passive 1052 00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:33,840 Speaker 3: aggressive to Patrick. I would have probably given them the 1053 00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:36,479 Speaker 3: silent treatment. I would have probably been like, I'm going 1054 00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:38,680 Speaker 3: to bed like I just have a headache, but I'm 1055 00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:41,200 Speaker 3: going to bed like I probably was. I would That's 1056 00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:43,000 Speaker 3: how it would show up. And we do that all 1057 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,799 Speaker 3: the time. It's the whole idea of it's not the trash, 1058 00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:47,879 Speaker 3: we're talking about it something else, right. 1059 00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:52,640 Speaker 1: I know that with suppressed frustration or anger, a lot 1060 00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:56,160 Speaker 1: of times with the passive aggressiveness is sarcasm, or you 1061 00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:59,520 Speaker 1: can start to say things like you know that you 1062 00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:01,920 Speaker 1: really want to say, but you say it with sarcasms. 1063 00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:05,000 Speaker 1: So that's another way we can pay attention to maybe 1064 00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:07,120 Speaker 1: what's going on, like, because sometimes I just can't put 1065 00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:09,279 Speaker 1: my finger on it, or I don't even know that 1066 00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:12,200 Speaker 1: I'm suppressing it. But then if I have like a 1067 00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:17,160 Speaker 1: quick sarcastic reaction to something and I say it, that 1068 00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:20,359 Speaker 1: might be an indicator to me of like, oh, something, 1069 00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:22,600 Speaker 1: I was sort of just joking with that, But I 1070 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:25,240 Speaker 1: don't think I'm joking. I think that this is actually 1071 00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:28,040 Speaker 1: bothering me. So I've been using that as a way 1072 00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:31,480 Speaker 1: to sort of gauge how I'm really feeling. Because then 1073 00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,000 Speaker 1: it's also easy for me to want to write it 1074 00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:37,160 Speaker 1: off and be like, oh, it's just joking. If they're like, hey, 1075 00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:38,960 Speaker 1: that kind of was is everything okay, I'm like, well, 1076 00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:41,279 Speaker 1: I was just joking. But that's another sign to me 1077 00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:44,480 Speaker 1: of like, okay, well was I just joking? Or am 1078 00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:47,399 Speaker 1: I really frustrated or annoyed by this? Is there something 1079 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:50,160 Speaker 1: you care about? Yeah? But do you do you understand 1080 00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:52,160 Speaker 1: saying of like sometimes I don't know what that is, 1081 00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:55,839 Speaker 1: But then I'll have a behavior that's like oh, where 1082 00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:57,960 Speaker 1: did that? I don't wake up to it, that's it. 1083 00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,520 Speaker 1: It wakes me up because it's like it just comes 1084 00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:05,520 Speaker 1: out in sarcasm, and there's space for sarcasm. There's healthy sarcasm, 1085 00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:09,080 Speaker 1: Like yeah, like you can be sarcastic. Sarcasm is great. 1086 00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:11,440 Speaker 1: I love sarcasm, but it's sort of like when my 1087 00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:14,840 Speaker 1: own sarcasm surprises me when I'm like, where did that 1088 00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:16,200 Speaker 1: come from? That was a little feisty. 1089 00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:19,719 Speaker 3: I think a lot of us because and again this 1090 00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:22,000 Speaker 3: is more towards women, but I think men can do 1091 00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:24,440 Speaker 3: this too. But if we're taught that we have to 1092 00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:26,880 Speaker 3: be nice and kind, and we're taught that we can't 1093 00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:28,880 Speaker 3: ask for our needs, and we're taught that to be 1094 00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,400 Speaker 3: quiet or don't be angry any of that, we're gonna 1095 00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:34,480 Speaker 3: find these other ways to like get that out. And 1096 00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,240 Speaker 3: that is a like it almost is like a loophole 1097 00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:39,640 Speaker 3: to your anger. It's like, well, I have a need 1098 00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:41,680 Speaker 3: that needs to be met, but like I can't go 1099 00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:43,440 Speaker 3: go directly there, so I'm gonna go this way. 1100 00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:46,400 Speaker 1: So it's this unconscious loophole that we've created. 1101 00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:49,880 Speaker 3: And the way to undo that is like what you're saying, 1102 00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:52,640 Speaker 3: when you do it, you can't help it at first, 1103 00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:54,960 Speaker 3: but like when you do it, acknowledge it, take a 1104 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:58,759 Speaker 3: step back and say that's not really who I want 1105 00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:00,480 Speaker 3: to be in I don't want to show up that way. 1106 00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:03,520 Speaker 3: I need to reflect, and it's okay to not have 1107 00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:07,480 Speaker 3: the answers too. A lot of times when I'm in conflict, 1108 00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:11,279 Speaker 3: I will have to say, hey, I want you to 1109 00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:14,360 Speaker 3: know that I'm not stonewalling you, which is ignoring somebody 1110 00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:18,200 Speaker 3: or trying to be difficult or ignoring what you're saying. 1111 00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:21,800 Speaker 1: But I need a second to process this. So it's okay. 1112 00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:25,800 Speaker 3: I think when we get in our feelings, it feels 1113 00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:28,120 Speaker 3: a lot of times like there's a rush to do 1114 00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:31,080 Speaker 3: or say or figure out what the need is. 1115 00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:33,799 Speaker 1: It's okay to take time with all of it. My 1116 00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:36,080 Speaker 1: son was a beautiful example of that. The other night. 1117 00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:40,400 Speaker 1: We were having a moment because of homework, and he 1118 00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:43,680 Speaker 1: was able to say to me, Mom, I need a 1119 00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:46,040 Speaker 1: minute because I went and I sat back down and 1120 00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:49,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, let's try this again, and he said 1121 00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:52,920 Speaker 1: not yet. I need a moment. And I said, well, 1122 00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:57,360 Speaker 1: let's like, will you forgive me? And he was able 1123 00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:01,239 Speaker 1: to say, in his own words, still processing, so give 1124 00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:04,120 Speaker 1: him space, And so I had to completely walk away 1125 00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:07,640 Speaker 1: and give him the opportunity to work through whatever he 1126 00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:10,440 Speaker 1: needed to work through to then move forward with me. 1127 00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:12,360 Speaker 1: And I was like, this is just a good example 1128 00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:15,319 Speaker 1: of like it's always okay, no matter the circumstance, to 1129 00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,280 Speaker 1: take space and time. 1130 00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:20,280 Speaker 3: I wish that I had that language as a kid 1131 00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:23,240 Speaker 3: doing math homework with my dad because I wasn't saying 1132 00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:23,840 Speaker 3: I need a minute. 1133 00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:27,440 Speaker 1: I was crying, Yeah, does your dad want to come 1134 00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:31,680 Speaker 1: over and help stevensimm with math because it'd be great. 1135 00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:33,960 Speaker 3: Well, he's pretty good at it, but I don't know 1136 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:37,240 Speaker 3: if you wanted to. Well, Stevenson has better skills than 1137 00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:38,080 Speaker 3: I had, so. 1138 00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:40,600 Speaker 1: Maybe he'll tell your dad like, hey, whoa, we both 1139 00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:43,320 Speaker 1: need to take five. Next thing, I know, like I 1140 00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,880 Speaker 1: come home and like Stevenson's doors off his hinges and 1141 00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:51,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, what happened? Your dad is like, don't worry. 1142 00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:53,560 Speaker 1: Took care of things. He's not going to be a 1143 00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:56,320 Speaker 1: problem for you anymore. Oh my god. 1144 00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:58,400 Speaker 3: Well, the reason we would always fight his kids with 1145 00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:00,000 Speaker 3: my dad doing math and work is because my dad 1146 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,720 Speaker 3: I would show us how to do it, and I'd 1147 00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:03,880 Speaker 3: be like, but I have to show my work and 1148 00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:05,680 Speaker 3: that's not how the teacher taught me to do it. 1149 00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:07,560 Speaker 1: And he's like it doesn't matter. I got you the 1150 00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:10,120 Speaker 1: right answer. So he would get frustrated and I'm like, 1151 00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:12,880 Speaker 1: but dad, we have to do the steps. And I 1152 00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:14,800 Speaker 1: was a perfectionist, and he was like. 1153 00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,240 Speaker 3: What does it matter? I got you the right answer. 1154 00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:19,600 Speaker 3: So then the doors were off the hinges, and you 1155 00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:22,040 Speaker 3: know that's just it was sob now right away. 1156 00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:26,320 Speaker 1: So in a nutshell for anger, anger is not bad. 1157 00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:30,800 Speaker 1: Anger is your friend. It's so helpful. So helpful doesn't 1158 00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:33,520 Speaker 1: mean you get to be all feeling anger excuse to 1159 00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:36,200 Speaker 1: be mean. Well, I know, but if you channel it 1160 00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:39,919 Speaker 1: or if you suppress it, you may be that beach 1161 00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:42,040 Speaker 1: ball out of the water. And you don't want to 1162 00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:45,320 Speaker 1: be that. You want to be just like an normal blow. 1163 00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:50,280 Speaker 3: Up doll'inflated, perfectly inflated blow up doll, just the right 1164 00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:51,880 Speaker 3: you know. 1165 00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:59,800 Speaker 1: Okay, So there stopping point. Don't forget you toobe us up. 1166 00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:04,080 Speaker 1: We are Feeling Things podcast subscribe like follow whatever, all 1167 00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:08,919 Speaker 1: the things Instagram, and then email email, Oh we need 1168 00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:11,439 Speaker 1: your emails, which we're getting a lot. They are so great. 1169 00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:14,560 Speaker 1: We haven't even able to get through all of the emails. 1170 00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:18,440 Speaker 1: So it's so great to already have couch talks Q 1171 00:59:18,560 --> 00:59:22,880 Speaker 1: and A emails from y'all, but we'll we'll always take more. So, hey, 1172 00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:26,760 Speaker 1: they're at Feeling Things podcasts dot com is the email address. 1173 00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:29,280 Speaker 1: And yeah, we just hope that you have the day 1174 00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:31,000 Speaker 1: you need to have. Is that how we want to 1175 00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:32,240 Speaker 1: do it? Or are we going to say it together? 1176 00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:35,400 Speaker 1: That's so hard. Try want you to. I'm doing improv 1177 00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:37,960 Speaker 1: and all of that is also too about reading each other. 1178 00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:39,439 Speaker 1: So you just need to have a really good eye 1179 00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:41,320 Speaker 1: contact and we'll be able to do it together. Okay, 1180 00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:44,680 Speaker 1: And Cat and I just hope that you have the 1181 00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:48,840 Speaker 1: day you need to have. That's that good? Yeay one 1182 00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:50,920 Speaker 1: more time because with good I it's like I'm going 1183 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:54,320 Speaker 1: to really dial into you. Okay, Okay it might. Cat 1184 00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:58,640 Speaker 1: and I both okay, Cat, Okay, Cat and I both 1185 00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:03,280 Speaker 1: hope you have the day you need to have. Bye. 1186 01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:03,600 Speaker 3: Bye,