Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren Ziema opening up the playbook what
Speaker 1: do we Got Today?
Speaker 2: Alzi the playbook today a big question. If you're married,
Speaker 2: do you always have to wear a wedding ring? Now,
Speaker 2: this topic came to me. It's been spurred by a
Speaker 2: few things. As you know, Housewives fan, we have Real
Speaker 2: Housewives of New York and Real Housewives of Salt Lake
Speaker 2: City airing, and on both franchises, we got a couple
Speaker 2: guys who aren't wearing their wedding rings all the time. Now,
Speaker 2: for one guy, the wife says, this is on New
Speaker 2: York City. She says, I don't care that he doesn't
Speaker 2: wear a wedding ring. She said he lost it like
Speaker 2: a week after they got married years ago. She says
Speaker 2: it doesn't bother her, they're fine. Her friends are a
Speaker 2: little suspicious of it, and she tells them you need
Speaker 2: to get over that. And one woman on the show
Speaker 2: agrees with her and says, a guy wearing a wedding
Speaker 2: ring has nothing to do with whether he's going to cheat.
Speaker 2: What's the big deal there? All you do is take
Speaker 2: the ring off and put it in your pocket. Over
Speaker 2: on Salt Lake City, similar situation, but different takes. The
Speaker 2: woman tells her husband, Hey, you have been wearing your
Speaker 2: wedding ring lately and it really hurts me. She sees
Speaker 2: him putting it in his drawer. She says, that's hurtful
Speaker 2: to me, and actually it's making her back off of
Speaker 2: their intimate life because she doesn't feel comfortable and safe. Interesting,
Speaker 2: So this could go a lot aways, and I thought
Speaker 2: we got to get into it. Especially, Yeah, as you
Speaker 2: and I have, you know, picked out wedding rings not
Speaker 2: that long ago, and are about to do this ourselves.
Speaker 2: So right, what do you think off the bat? If
Speaker 2: you're married, do you need to wear your wedding ring
Speaker 2: all the time?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Especially this is a little heavy since we have
Speaker 1: wedding rings ordered. I think it's a case by case basis,
Speaker 1: and I'm not trying to waffle here and get out
Speaker 1: of this. But like you know, my boy Chip who
Speaker 1: lost his ring like a week into his marriage. He's
Speaker 1: this guy he went through like five rings, lost them all.
Speaker 2: But here's the difference. Chip got more rings. This guy
Speaker 2: has never gotten another ring.
Speaker 1: And a ring by the way, now, for some reason,
Speaker 1: he's kept the or a ring.
Speaker 2: Oh the thing that's monitoring his sleep. Well, he's very
Speaker 2: health conscious. But regardless, he's gotten more rings and he's
Speaker 2: continued to wear a ring. Even when he's lost them,
Speaker 2: he gets a new one. This guy has not lost
Speaker 2: it a week after his wedding, has never worn a ring. Listen.
Speaker 2: I think it's I think if you're married, wear a
Speaker 2: wedding ring. I do, and I agree with that one
Speaker 2: woman on the show that just because you're wearing a
Speaker 2: wedding ring doesn't mean you're not going to cheat. It
Speaker 2: is as easy as slipping the ring off. But I
Speaker 2: think it's a symbol. I think it's meaningful. I do
Speaker 2: think that it's a public show that you're in a relationship. Again,
Speaker 2: it's not going to protect I mean, if people want
Speaker 2: to cheat, they're going to find a way to cheat.
Speaker 2: But I think it's a public proud showing that you're
Speaker 2: in a relationship. And I think it's a red flag
Speaker 2: if somebody doesn't want to wear a ring, just like
Speaker 2: you know in the social media age over on ninety
Speaker 2: Day Fiance the other day which I was watching, this
Speaker 2: woman was telling her boyfriend it it doesn't it doesn't
Speaker 2: ring well for me that you don't ever want to
Speaker 2: post about our relationship, that you don't want to share
Speaker 2: pictures of us. Like I think if somebody's not willing
Speaker 2: to make public shows of your relationship, at least on occasion,
Speaker 2: that's a red.
Speaker 1: Flag to me. I, for one, just personally, I'm excited.
Speaker 1: I'm excited to wear a ring. I'm excited to have
Speaker 1: that symbol that bond and it's a bond with you,
Speaker 1: and it's something we get to both look at. And
Speaker 1: I love looking at your ring, and so to me,
Speaker 1: that's fun and it's exciting and I can't wait. And
Speaker 1: I get there's times when you can't wear your ring,
Speaker 1: but like I go to the gym or I go
Speaker 1: play golf in this particular ring, I think will probably
Speaker 1: be a little problematic with that. And so I've talked
Speaker 1: about buying a silicone ring, something I could just have
Speaker 1: on still, because I just like the fact that it's there,
Speaker 1: and I do. I want my friends to see it,
Speaker 1: my guy friends to see it. I want everyone to
Speaker 1: know that. So when you get married, if you are
Speaker 1: reluctant or if you've been wearing it now all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, you're not like the woman said, he takes
Speaker 1: it off, puts it in his drawer.
Speaker 2: I actually think that's a worse sign than I totally agree.
Speaker 2: Then I've just never been somebody who wears a ring.
Speaker 1: Because if someone's been wearing it for a couple of
Speaker 1: years and it's like, okay, so it doesn't bother him,
Speaker 1: it's normal, and then all of a sudden, he's just
Speaker 1: not that's not great. That's not a good sign.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I do think what's what I want to
Speaker 2: applaud both of these couples on these shows on about
Speaker 2: is they're both talking about it, and they're both saying
Speaker 2: this is what works or doesn't work for us. Like
Speaker 2: on New York, the wife is saying, he's never worn
Speaker 2: a ring, and I don't care. People know we're married,
Speaker 2: we have kids together. I don't care. Okay, then that
Speaker 2: works for you. And over on Salt Lake City, the
Speaker 2: wife is telling her husband, it is bothering me that
Speaker 2: you're not wearing the ring, and she's communicating that very clearly.
Speaker 2: So there's always the what works for you l element.
Speaker 2: But if I'm talking overarching like I don't know, I
Speaker 2: guess I also think it's nice to not have to
Speaker 2: defend your relationship, and there are certainly societal norms that
Speaker 2: might or might not be wrong, But like, I don't know,
Speaker 2: it's such a small thing. It's like, dude, wear a ring.
Speaker 2: You know, if you're married and you want to be
Speaker 2: proud of your wife, why not throw a ring on
Speaker 2: so she doesn't have to defend herself and defend your relationship.
Speaker 1: I mean, you have it. It's in your drawer. It's
Speaker 1: not like you get this guy I'm.
Speaker 2: Talking about the New York he allegedly lost it, But
Speaker 2: why not get another ring?
Speaker 1: Look, I agree again painting with a broadbrush here, I
Speaker 1: totally agree. I think it's a sign of respect, it's
Speaker 1: a sign of love, it's a sign of bond and unity,
Speaker 1: and of what the ring actually means. I mean, there
Speaker 1: is a part of the vowels in your wedding that
Speaker 1: have to do with that symbol and what it what
Speaker 1: it signifies. So I find it personal. I find it
Speaker 1: very important.
Speaker 2: You know what. That's such a good point you just made.
Speaker 2: As we're about to take vowels well case by case.
Speaker 2: But if your vows had something in them about the
Speaker 2: symbolism of the ring, that's not in every wedding vow.
Speaker 2: But if your vows have that, well, then yeah, that
Speaker 2: ring means something. So wear the ring and you're not
Speaker 2: wearing it means something.
Speaker 1: I think every time I look at my ring, or
Speaker 1: of every day I put it on, it will mean
Speaker 1: something to me. It's a it's a it's a commitment.
Speaker 2: I know that when I look down at my engagement ring.
Speaker 2: I've literally texted you this before. It makes me happy.
Speaker 2: When I look down at my ring, it makes me
Speaker 2: think of you. It makes me happy. And yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't I think, not in a materialistic way like it's
Speaker 2: this thing, but the meaning of it. And if you
Speaker 2: took vows and the vows were about putting the ring
Speaker 2: on and with this ring, I promise this, then it
Speaker 2: has weight. And did your vows mean something? You know?
Speaker 1: But I think it always comes back to that all
Speaker 1: important word communication. If you don't like what this guy
Speaker 1: is doing, if you don't like he's not wearing a ring,
Speaker 1: you need to bring it up. That is incoming upon
Speaker 1: you to say, Babe, it really hurts me. You're leaving
Speaker 1: the house every day and you're not wearing a ring.
Speaker 1: You're going out with the boys, you're going to golf,
Speaker 1: you're going to work, and that response from him, yeah
Speaker 1: is pretty easy and it should be, babe, if that's
Speaker 1: important to you, Oh my gosh, I'm putting my ring on.
Speaker 2: So you okay, That's what I was going to kind
Speaker 2: of ask you. Do you think it's a warning sign
Speaker 2: if a guy's not willing to wear a ring, especially
Speaker 2: when the woman says, or if anybody man, woman, whatever,
Speaker 2: if the partner says it's bothering me that you're not
Speaker 2: wearing that broadbrush.
Speaker 1: Yes, if someone says I really want you to wear that,
Speaker 1: it means a lot to me. And you've you've worn
Speaker 1: it before and now you're just not one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: That's a red flag, which, by the way, I'm not
Speaker 1: sure why, because he could just wear it out the
Speaker 1: house and take it off if that's what he wants
Speaker 1: to do. Again, it's not a chastity bell, it's not
Speaker 1: a fail safe, right, but it is that symbol to me.
Speaker 1: And I totally see that woman's point on the on
Speaker 1: the flip side, and I get that if this is you,
Speaker 1: I get it because I have friends like this. He's
Speaker 1: just a dopey dude. He's got three kids. Everybody knows
Speaker 1: they're married in the neighborhood, nobody cares. That doesn't look
Speaker 1: I get their situation.
Speaker 2: Right, because it's a thing that might not mean anything.
Speaker 2: Like you could be a very happily married person with
Speaker 2: kids and you love your life and you love your family,
Speaker 2: and you just don't wear a ring. Of course, it
Speaker 2: could mean nothing, but it could also mean something.
Speaker 1: It could and in these cases it seems like it
Speaker 1: does well.
Speaker 2: And when I mean, you're a guy who you hang
Speaker 2: out with other guys a lot, you go golfing, you know,
Speaker 2: in these places where it's only men around, if you
Speaker 2: see a guy who doesn't wear his ring, or if
Speaker 2: you like, I don't know, does that is that a
Speaker 2: get a warning sign to you? Or does it?
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny, you know it's funny. I was
Speaker 1: just thinking. I was racking my brain because you know,
Speaker 1: I go on golf trips with the guys, and again
Speaker 1: we go to these as you know, as they send
Speaker 1: you pictures, Oh my gosh, the most desolate places.
Speaker 2: On these golf trips, and I'm like, I can't believe
Speaker 2: you're paying for this, because he will send me a
Speaker 2: video where they're at. They've got bunk beds, they're in
Speaker 2: this like cabin. It looks like it's barely summer camp.
Speaker 2: They've got bunk beds, and he's so excited. Is there
Speaker 2: this cool golf course and it's the I'm like, where
Speaker 2: are you eating? He's like, well, it's in the middle
Speaker 2: of nowhere. All there is is this cafeteria.
Speaker 1: You have to kill and eat our own food.
Speaker 2: I'm just thinking, you, this is what you're paying for.
Speaker 2: I would pay to go to the nicest.
Speaker 1: Spot we were let's say we were in a big
Speaker 1: city or something like that. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: would notice. I don't know if I I specifically look
Speaker 1: at my friend's fingers to know if they have their
Speaker 1: rings on or not. Is that weird?
Speaker 2: Are you saying that straight men aren't detail oriented?
Speaker 1: Like I was just thinking, like, I mean, well that
Speaker 1: that posed it like, do you like, would you notice
Speaker 1: if you girls want? Now?
Speaker 2: Honestly, I wouldn't. I guess. I'm more so meant like,
Speaker 2: do you see I don't know. I guess I'm I
Speaker 2: feel like there are also and maybe it means that
Speaker 2: the ring doesn't mean that much. Yeah, but I feel
Speaker 2: like you just know in groups of guys, you kind
Speaker 2: of know who the guys are really love their wives
Speaker 2: and are faithful and are great. And then you know
Speaker 2: who the guys are who are like a little flirty, right,
Speaker 2: and it's not great and you know, and that's obvious.
Speaker 2: So maybe maybe what you're saying is, yeah, the ring
Speaker 2: thing doesn't matter if you don't even you know, I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't notice, but I would. I would bet strangers
Speaker 1: do other other women like if when you were single,
Speaker 1: did you go to a bar and was one of
Speaker 1: the first things you did look down at his left hand? Uh,
Speaker 1: I would look when I was single, I one hundred
Speaker 1: percent with.
Speaker 2: Probably not because I'm thinking about when I was single.
Speaker 2: I was like, so I was in my early twenties.
Speaker 2: People weren't like married that much.
Speaker 1: I definitely looked when I because I was in my
Speaker 1: what forties. Yeah, and so I definitely would go if
Speaker 1: I was at a bar or something I found somebody interesting,
Speaker 1: I for sure looked at their finger to see if
Speaker 1: they had a ring on.
Speaker 2: Now, I will say there have been times when I
Speaker 2: didn't always bring or wear my engagement room because I
Speaker 2: was like worried about it, right, because you think there's
Speaker 2: it's just worth a lot of money, so I would
Speaker 2: get nervous, Like sometimes I would lock my ring in
Speaker 2: a safe, like on a girl's trip. If I'm going out,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know, like when we've been in Mexico. Honestly,
Speaker 2: like there have been times and I'm like, we're going
Speaker 2: out and I don't know. I don't want to like it.
Speaker 2: I'm like worried.
Speaker 1: Sometimes when you travel abroad, we're jumping.
Speaker 2: In, We're in a boat, we're jumping Yeah. I think
Speaker 2: when you and I were in Europe, I didn't always
Speaker 2: wear it out because we didn't necessarily know where we were. Again,
Speaker 2: if we're going swimming in the ocean, I would probably
Speaker 2: leave in the safe in the hotel room. So that's
Speaker 2: stuff I get. But when you're not wearing it day in,
Speaker 2: day out, I do think it's a red flag.
Speaker 1: I agree, and I can't wait to wear my ring.
Speaker 2: Oh that's very sweet, very soon. Well. I was about
Speaker 2: to say you have to say this because we're on
Speaker 2: this podcast, but you have been telling me just no,
Speaker 2: I'm excited.
Speaker 1: I really am. I'm genuinely excited. I can't wait for
Speaker 1: everyone to see it.
Speaker 2: I love it. I think it's very classic and it's
Speaker 2: very you.
Speaker 1: And you have decided to wear a band, yes, at.
Speaker 2: A band, well, but you know what, that's a whole
Speaker 2: other layer of this. I love my engagement ring as
Speaker 2: it is, so the band I picked doesn't fit in
Speaker 2: with it the way some people do. So I think
Speaker 2: I will always either wear my engagement ring or this
Speaker 2: band like one or the other. Or a friend of
Speaker 2: mine of ours told me what she does is she
Speaker 2: wears the band on her right hand all the time
Speaker 2: and her engagement ring on her left hand all the time.
Speaker 2: So maybe I'll do that.
Speaker 1: You know what's interesting, You know what never gets talked
Speaker 1: about is a woman not wearing her ring. Why is
Speaker 1: it the you know what I mean, that's not a thing.
Speaker 2: It's a storyline on the real hospital season.
Speaker 1: It's it's the guy, which means, you know what, it
Speaker 1: is a red flag.
Speaker 2: It's okay.
Speaker 1: I think that just yeah, I think I think that
Speaker 1: just summed it up for me. Thank you guys so
Speaker 1: much for joining us. We absolutely love talking to you.
Speaker 1: I love diving into these bizarre, exciting, thought provoking subjects,
Speaker 1: and we will do it again next time because we
Speaker 1: have a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening.
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