WEBVTT - Combatting Caregiver Burnout 0:00:03.720 --> 0:00:08.640 Hi everyone. I'm Holly Robinson, pete actor, author, advocate, do 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:12.399 it all mom, and I'm also a caregiver. And this 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:16.960 is care Walks, a podcast from iHeartRadio and Voltaian Arthritis 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:20.520 Pain Gel. It's a show for family caregivers who give 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:23.520 everything to everyone and need to make time for themselves 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:27.360 through movement. Every episode is designed for you to walk 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:29.560 as you listen, so just think of me and my 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:33.720 guests as your weekly walking buddies. We'll hear stories from 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:37.040 caregivers and gain tips and insights from health experts and 0:00:37.080 --> 0:00:40.000 advocates who know how important it is to take care 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:43.320 of yourself and manage joint pain due to arthritis that 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:48.400 often accompanies being a caregiver. We'll discover community ourselves and 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:51.320 maybe even alleviate some joint pain due to arthritis in 0:00:51.360 --> 0:00:54.800 the process as we walk together and connect to the 0:00:54.800 --> 0:01:02.400 best parts of being a caregiver. I can't believe it. 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:05.600 We have arrived at our final episode for this first 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:09.160 season of care Walks. Thank you so much for joining 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:12.200 me on this journey. Over the course of this season, 0:01:12.319 --> 0:01:15.760 we've reflected on how caregiving has changed our lives and 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:18.120 how we can better care for our own bodies and 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:22.800 minds while becoming conscientious caregivers for our loved ones. Just 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:25.839 a reminder right now, you're listening to the full version 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:27.959 of this episode, but if you don't have time for 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:30.800 a full walk today, then go check out our bridged 0:01:30.880 --> 0:01:34.640 version of this same episode. It's like cliff notes for podcasts. 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:38.319 Setting out on this journey, I was really excited to 0:01:38.319 --> 0:01:42.000 hear from other caregivers and honestly curious to know how 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:45.880 their experience was similar or different to mine. But even 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:50.000 beyond that, exploring the many approaches to self care, from 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:54.760 scheduling weekly time to yourself to making movement a daily practice. 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:58.320 Throughout this season, I've learned so much from our guests, 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:00.680 and I'm so grateful to be part of this movement 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:05.200 to recognize the needs and well being of family caregivers. 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:09.800 For this last episode, I want to talk about caregiver burnout. 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:13.920 According to the website Aging in Place, a free online 0:02:13.960 --> 0:02:17.480 resource for aging at home, about eighty five percent of 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:21.359 family caregivers in the US do not receive any respite care. 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:26.960 Burnout isn't something we typically are preparing ourselves for. Oftentimes 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:29.799 we don't realize we are burnout until it's already taken 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:33.080 a big toll on us, So today we're also going 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:35.640 to dig into how we can keep burnout at Bay. 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:39.920 Later in this episode, you'll hear from Lindsay Pace, a 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:43.920 licensed therapist and advocate for those adjusting to major life 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:48.560 changes like becoming a caregiver. Lindsay helps caregivers build resiliency 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:52.560 and take the steps towards a full and prosperous life. Together, 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:55.440 Lindsay and I will talk about the signs of burnout 0:02:55.720 --> 0:02:59.120 and how caregivers can continue to use self care as 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:02.639 a means of healing from over extension. But before we 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:11.400 get to my conversation with Lindsay, let's get walking. Begin 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:14.840 to let go of any negative feelings you're holding on too, 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:21.880 and find a sense of release. Let go of any 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:26.079 stress and any anxiety that you may be feeling or 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:33.400 resonating in your body. Allow this time to be about you. 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:41.240 For you. Take a deep breath in through your nose 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:52.120 and now exhale out your mouth. Let's do this again, 0:03:52.640 --> 0:03:55.880 and as you exhale, I want you to release a 0:03:56.160 --> 0:04:04.880 sigh in through your nose. Then release that sigh as 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:14.480 you exhale through your mouth. Great job. Now, last one 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:26.200 inhaled deeply and exhale with a sigh. We want to 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:30.120 remember to be mindful of our energy. We cannot operate 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.880 on an empty tank, and time spent filling your tank 0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:40.599 makes for a better and brighter you as you find 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:43.880 your stride. Join me as I explore how we can 0:04:43.920 --> 0:04:52.200 combat caregiver burnout with Lindsay Pace. Lindsay Pace is a 0:04:52.279 --> 0:04:56.039 licensed therapist in Virginia who counsels folks who are adjusting 0:04:56.080 --> 0:04:59.680 to stressful life changes, helping individuals who are stuck in 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:02.840 neg patterns and burn out by the demands of caring 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:06.360 for those around them. She's going to help us recognize 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:09.960 the signs of burnout, better cope with that added stress, 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:14.120 and reinforce our self care strategies to combat caregiver burnout. 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:17.680 Thank you so much for joining us today, Lindsey. 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:19.720 Hi, Holly, thank you so much for having me. I'm 0:05:19.760 --> 0:05:20.839 excited to be here with you. 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:23.520 I'm excited to talk to you. Can you tell me 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:27.760 what inspired your work as a therapist and what led 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:31.479 you to focus on helping those who care for others. Yeah. 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:34.760 So, I'm a licensed clinical social worker and I've been 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:39.760 in the field about sixteen years and my first ten 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.520 years were in hospice, and so I worked in the 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:48.680 hospice field where I'm going into people's homes, working with 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:52.839 patients who have a terminal illness and working with the 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:58.400 families and the caregivers to help them process, feel supported, 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:04.040 navigate what's to come. And it was through those years 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:09.080 that I recognized how much we ask of caregivers and 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:13.719 how much is on them to do and the lack of, 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:19.000 you know, unfortunately resources that they need to adequately care 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:22.520 for themselves while they're caring for somebody else. And it 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:26.040 was through that time that I really wanted to focus 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:31.080 in on anxiety. Anxiety disorders is my area of specialty 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:34.279 now that I'm in private practice, because what we would 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:38.400 often see is people become very anxious in the caregiving role. 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:42.479 People experience a lot of depression in the caregiving role, 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:46.200 and of course a lot of overlap with burnout as well. 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:50.000 So that's what brought me to the field of working 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:50.800 with caregivers. 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:57.640 That is fascinating work. I have always wondered about hospice 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:02.520 care and about the emotion that you go through when 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:05.600 you're trying to walk someone through that really difficult time, 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:08.480 and I think it's fascinating to me that from that 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:12.560 you really looked at the caregiver aspect of this and 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:15.560 how hard it is to go through all of that 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:19.120 emotionally physically when you take care of someone for so 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:22.080 long and then it gets to that point. I'm sure 0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:23.760 there are a lot of people that don't even take 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:27.280 the time to acknowledge that they're feeling burnout, acknowledge that 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:32.920 they're really struggling emotionally and psychologically and with their mental health, 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:35.840 because we always put ourselves at the back of the 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:39.559 line right when it comes to caregiving. So from your work, 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:43.440 how do you see the role of caregiver and pushing 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:47.000 our care for ourselves to the back burner? How do 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:49.240 you see that and what are ways that we can 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:50.920 speak to caregivers about that? 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:56.200 Well? I think that the individuals who find themselves becoming 0:07:56.240 --> 0:08:02.640 the primary caregiver usually are natural inclined to be feelers 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:07.200 and attuned to the needs of others, have more of 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:10.480 a willingness to put themselves on the back burner. It 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:13.640 definitely attracts a certain kind of person to do the work, 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:17.080 not always but most of the time. And so when 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:19.640 you're in this role of primary caregiver, and you have 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:25.160 a person who is increasingly dependent on you, you just 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:28.400 continue to step up to the plate. Whatever the next 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:30.400 need is, Okay, how can I meet it? What can 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:33.440 I do? And it can be very easy to be 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:37.839 very tunnel visioned on the individual that you're caring for 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:42.800 and task oriented Okay, I've got a problem, let's solve it, 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:48.440 and not having time because issues come up frequently, changes 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:53.920 are required regularly with caregiving to examine what am I needing, 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:58.079 how am I doing? And so people don't recognize that 0:08:58.120 --> 0:09:01.160 they've kind of crossed a line in their self care 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:06.320 until they are really burned out or experiencing depression or 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:10.200 having other health issues that unfortunately have to be a 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:13.280 wake up call. I would say the biggest contributing factor 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:16.520 to burnout is feeling like you have the weight of 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:20.400 this person's life on your shoulders and your shoulders only 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:23.880 maybe you think that nobody can do it like me, 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:27.679 therefore I'm not going to ask for help, or maybe 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:31.240 the person does not have anyone they can ask for help, 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:35.160 and that would be a real contributor to the burnout happening. 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:41.960 Are there ways to ask that are effective that you found? 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:46.480 I think Being specific is the best way to ask 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:50.160 for help instead of just saying, hey, I need help 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:54.840 and expecting them to identify something that they can do. 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:58.720 Get very specific. I need help on Tuesdays from one 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:01.440 to three. I can do whatever it might be. 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:05.199 Yeah, So just take the generality out right, So being 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:09.280 very specific, I need you to take my dog to 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:11.520 the vet for me today, or I need you know, 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:14.400 very specific. The more specific you are, then I think 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:18.640 that kind of limits the person that you're asking. They 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:21.760 really understand what specifically is needed from them, and it's 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:25.000 not like it's not grey not a gray area. That's 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:29.520 a great, great tip. What other signs would you say 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:34.480 that you might see as well of caregiver burnout? How 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:37.720 are their physical signs that you can see or what 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:38.680 else do we look for? 0:10:39.240 --> 0:10:42.520 Yeah, I think when we're looking for burnout, if a 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:45.360 person is in a caregiving situation and they're kind of 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:49.160 asking themselves, am I burned out? I would look at 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:55.200 whether or not you are experiencing more cynicism you know 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:57.600 about the role of being a caregiver. 0:10:58.040 --> 0:10:58.960 Oh, that's interesting. 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:03.559 How much is it are you carrying? Are you feeling 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:09.439 increasingly tired and exhausted and experiencing that sense of isolation 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:13.920 and helplessness. So that would be what I'm looking for. 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:18.160 When I walked into a home with hospice patients and families, 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:23.880 when I noticed those symptoms, I was, you know, thinking, yes, 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:26.840 we are, we've reached a limit, and we had to 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:29.080 be very sensitive about how we would work with the 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:31.600 caregiver because the last thing you want to do to 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:34.360 someone who's burned out is say, hey, you're burned out 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:36.480 and you need to do X, Y and Z. 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:40.960 Right, that doesn't seem like it would be helpful. No, No, 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:44.240 how do you think we can manage our expectations that 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:47.720 we have for ourselves as caregivers? I know, as a 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:51.880 caregiver for my dad when he was diagnosed with Parkinson's, 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:56.280 I was very young and didn't even think about, well, 0:11:56.960 --> 0:12:01.520 you know, I'm nineteen and think about, you know, managing 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:04.600 any of my expectations because I was so young. But 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.199 I think, well, you have so many more resources now 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:09.120 and something like care walks where we can talk about 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:13.360 these things. So how can we as caregivers just manage 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:15.319 these expectations we have for ourselves. 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:21.280 Yeah, over extend, overcommit, all of those things. Well, you know, 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:25.679 everyone comes to the caregiving position by different means. Some 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:29.760 people march boldly into it, you know, volunteering here, am 0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:32.960 I let's do this right, and they're eager and excited. 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:37.640 Other people kind of just find themselves. Oh there's nobody else. 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:40.720 I guess I have to do this. You know, there'd 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:43.560 be a variety of expectations a person would have going 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:47.000 into being a caregiver. I would say, the first thing 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:50.200 that we need to recognize is that caregiving is costly. 0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:56.599 It is costly, you know, financially, it is costly physically, emotionally, 0:12:57.040 --> 0:13:02.040 mentally on relationships. Understanding that there is a cost to 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:06.160 making this decision and recognizing that there's also the potential 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.800 for a great reward. But I have to hold those 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:10.440 at the same level that there is going to be 0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:13.880 a cost, there will be consequences, and there's also a 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:18.679 reward opportunity here and holding those to the same degree 0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:22.800 versus just okay, I'm going to do this, but recognizing 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:28.440 that there are consequences as far as adjusting expectations. You know, 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:32.840 I would walk into homes that were pristine, you know, 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.880 where they you know, vacuum every day, and they have 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:40.400 all of these routine household activities that they maintain while 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:44.560 caring for somebody who is you know, bed bound and 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:47.920 total care and needs help with feeding and every every 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:51.520 activity of daily living. And yet they're still trying to 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:58.840 maintain this rigorous and rigid schedule of household responsibilities. And 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:02.400 so I would encourage people, is there just one thing, 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.840 one thing that you can let go of for a season. 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:10.760 I always like to say for a season, because caregiving 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:15.400 does not last forever. And so putting down one thing 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:18.800 for a season that you can pick up again later 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:24.320 so that you can lower the amount of pressure and 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:26.880 responsibility you have on yourself for now. 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:31.800 Ah, that's another good takeaway. Another good takeaway, lindsay, because 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:36.480 it just minimizes some of the overwhelming confusion you have 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:39.160 when you have so many things coming at you at 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:46.360 once for a season, writing that down. And so to 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:50.080 tell me more about the reward opportunity with being a caregiver, 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:53.320 how do you define what that is and what that 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:54.560 even looks or feels like. 0:14:56.560 --> 0:15:00.400 I think that, of course this will vary person to person, 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:06.160 But the rewards that I often heard from people were 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:09.720 that they got to spend time with their loved one 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:12.720 that they would not have had had they not been 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:16.200 in the caregiving role. They got to see sides of 0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:19.200 their loved one that they didn't know existed that they 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:23.320 really enjoyed and could really share stories about. And for 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:30.000 some relationships it's a chance of reconnection and redemption. Sometimes 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:34.440 you know, maybe the relationship was not what it could 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:38.360 have been, you know, when things were well and unfortunately, 0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:41.200 being in the caregiving situation, we know that someone is 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:45.600 not well, but it could be a chance for reconciliation 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:46.440 for people. 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:50.000 And I've seen that, yes, And you know, the other 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:52.960 half of the battle is, you know, remedying are exhaustion. 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:56.760 You know, how do we go about recovering when we 0:15:56.800 --> 0:15:59.320 recognize that were burnout? What are some of the things 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:02.080 that we can do you obviously you said you take 0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:04.360 some things off your plate, or there are other things. 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.160 Yes, certainly there are other things that we can do 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:11.480 for the level of exhaustion. That is simply we're looking 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:16.280 at energy conservation. How can we conserve energy right now 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:20.840 while resources are low again, you know, putting that for 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:24.720 a season behind it, it will not always be this way. 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:28.320 So for now, what can we do to conserve this energy? 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:31.800 Do we need to hire someone to clean the home. 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:36.480 Do we need to utilize medication from the doctor that 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:39.400 will help our loved ones sleep so that we can sleep, 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:42.880 or from the doctor that will help us sleep. Relief 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:47.360 can come from all sorts of sources, including having someone 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:51.760 do your grocery shopping. Yes, I personally loved using shipped 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:55.240 for my groceries, and that is time that's saved for me. 0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:57.880 And yes I might pay a little extra, but it 0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:00.720 saves me that time and that energy I would rather 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:04.040 give to my family. Those kinds of things can be 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:07.840 really helpful in conserving energy when energy is already low. 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:10.840 Yes, and you mentioned earlier we were talking about the 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:16.720 journey of how to get to becoming a caregiver, and 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:20.560 we all get there in different ways. But yeah, when 0:17:20.960 --> 0:17:22.879 you are sort of I don't want to say the 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:24.879 word forced into it, but when it sort of is 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:28.800 you're the only option, Yeah, and then that does sometimes 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:32.760 build some feelings of resentment, feelings of not feeling appreciated. 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:35.760 What would you say to someone who like that, who's 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:38.639 burnout but they're also a little resentful. 0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:42.680 M Well, it's a hard place to be because sometimes 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:45.520 when you're in that resentful place, you think I shouldn't 0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:49.440 have to ask. I shouldn't have to you know, X, Y, 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:54.960 and Z. We can get stuck in our resentment simply 0:17:55.119 --> 0:17:59.320 by I call them should statements right, should statements is 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:04.200 a criticism, doesn't produce any kind of progress forward. It's 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:07.760 just I shouldn't have to they should know what I want? Right, 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:11.800 So recognizing if okay, check in with yourself right now, 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:15.840 am I feeling resentful? What does that feel like? What 0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:17.120 am I doing about it? 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:17.720 Okay? 0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:21.200 Have I asked anybody for help? So the first thing 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:25.639 would be to make your needs known. Let them be known. 0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:28.960 Let people know that you are frustrated that you are 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:33.080 feeling some resentment. I can't guarantee what their response is. 0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:36.560 Going to be. Yeah, that's a very important part of it. 0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:40.520 Yes, but I do think that you can be wise 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:44.280 in recognizing who might be a person you can share 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:47.119 this with that can respond in a way that is 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:51.080 helpful if you truly have no one like that. This 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:55.200 is where caregiver support groups are an excellent resource, where 0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:58.679 you can talk with other caregivers who find themselves in 0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:04.040 the same situation. Also going to therapy, it can be 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:08.200 very traumatic. The reason that you are a caregiver and 0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:11.720 so working maybe with a therapist to help you process 0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:17.359 this huge transition and the road ahead of you. And 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:23.040 thankfully with COVID, most therapists offer telehealth so you don't 0:19:23.080 --> 0:19:26.000 even have to leave the home and find someone to 0:19:26.080 --> 0:19:30.360 sit with your loved one. 0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:41.679 We'll be right back with more from Lindsay Pace, and 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:49.240 now back to my conversation with Lindsay Pace. The physical 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:55.320 toll of caregiving, it can really be difficult on the body, 0:19:55.960 --> 0:19:59.960 and yes, in your experience, what things stand out about 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:02.639 the physical demands in the caregiving journey. 0:20:03.160 --> 0:20:06.560 Often in the caregiving situation, they're having to help somebody 0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:12.440 move someone maybe who is immobile, maybe someone who is bedbound, 0:20:12.920 --> 0:20:17.040 so doing a lot of lifting and pulling and churning physically. 0:20:17.680 --> 0:20:23.920 Aside from the exhaustion, there are occupational hazards that caregivers 0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:25.000 have to be aware. 0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:28.080 Of, Yes, there are. So what are some of your 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:32.960 favorite self care practices that help you prioritize movement or 0:20:33.040 --> 0:20:36.560 find stress relief, either physically or emotionally. 0:20:37.640 --> 0:20:39.439 Well, I used to be better at this than I 0:20:39.480 --> 0:20:42.920 am now. In fact, I have a goal to get 0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:46.560 back outside and walk daily. But if I'm not able 0:20:46.600 --> 0:20:49.960 to do that it might be that I'm turning on 0:20:50.520 --> 0:20:54.919 a music dance video on YouTube and just dancing like 0:20:54.960 --> 0:20:58.639 a crazy person with my kids, and it gives us 0:20:58.640 --> 0:21:03.639 an opportunity to move and connect and laugh, and those 0:21:03.760 --> 0:21:08.560 things are vital to disrupting the stress or the exhaustion 0:21:09.280 --> 0:21:10.320 that might be going on. 0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:14.639 Yeah, I have a son who has autism and his 0:21:15.720 --> 0:21:19.200 favorite thing to relieve his stress is jumping on the trampoline, 0:21:19.680 --> 0:21:23.000 and so it's been we are a jumping family. Like 0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:26.320 all of us go out there and get on this trampoline. 0:21:26.960 --> 0:21:30.200 If you can imagine all six of us out there, 0:21:30.240 --> 0:21:32.320 even the dog gets on the trampoline and jumps. But 0:21:32.560 --> 0:21:37.040 just the stress relief and just the laughter, even laughing 0:21:37.119 --> 0:21:39.760 about the dog getting on and you know, at all 0:21:39.800 --> 0:21:42.119 the things that we do. So just that movement, that 0:21:42.240 --> 0:21:47.359 little movement can really create a release that you otherwise 0:21:47.440 --> 0:21:50.679 wouldn't have just stagnantly sitting. So it's just about getting 0:21:50.760 --> 0:21:54.680 up and doing it right, just making that first step. 0:21:54.920 --> 0:21:58.639 Yes, and it can totally change the tone of the situation. 0:21:59.359 --> 0:22:01.800 So if you know that you're just sitting there and 0:22:01.840 --> 0:22:07.520 you're overwhelmed by something, simply changing posture and position can 0:22:07.680 --> 0:22:10.560 help break you out of that. So it doesn't take 0:22:10.600 --> 0:22:13.320 a lot to accomplish that. If you can move your 0:22:13.320 --> 0:22:17.880 body in any way, do it, dedicate a little bit 0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:19.879 of time each day to that. I love that this 0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:24.320 podcast encourages caregivers to walk while they listen. That's just 0:22:24.920 --> 0:22:28.440 a wonderful motivation and it gives people, Okay, it's my 0:22:28.520 --> 0:22:31.120 podcast time. I'm going to go and do this walk now. 0:22:31.600 --> 0:22:35.800 Because simply being outside moving your body can help relieve 0:22:35.880 --> 0:22:38.679 some of the stress and pressure that you're carrying. When 0:22:38.720 --> 0:22:42.600 you're a caregiver, you end up in a very hyper vigilant, 0:22:42.840 --> 0:22:46.919 hyper aware this checking always going on in your mind 0:22:47.000 --> 0:22:48.720 of what do I need to do next. That's a 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:54.919 stress response system that's been activated, and to work that 0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:59.240 out is to release some of that energy. So going 0:22:59.320 --> 0:23:02.080 for a walk, doing something that creates a little bit 0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:04.840 of an increased heart rate can be very helpful and 0:23:04.960 --> 0:23:07.120 working out that increased energy. 0:23:07.920 --> 0:23:10.200 Have you noticed that in your experience? Have you noticed 0:23:10.200 --> 0:23:13.800 that taking time to connect with others can help combat 0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:15.879 burnout for caregivers? 0:23:16.560 --> 0:23:20.640 Yes, absolutely, because then you can recognize, oh, it's not 0:23:20.840 --> 0:23:25.240 just me, there's other people who are experiencing this. Because 0:23:25.240 --> 0:23:28.600 sometimes we think that because it's hard. We must be 0:23:28.720 --> 0:23:32.280 doing something wrong, or maybe there's a better way to 0:23:32.359 --> 0:23:36.280 do this, and really it's just hard. There is not 0:23:37.040 --> 0:23:40.119 one great way to be a caregiver that's going to 0:23:40.240 --> 0:23:43.760 assure that you have no resentment and no guilt and 0:23:43.840 --> 0:23:48.479 no frustration. And so connecting with other people can be 0:23:48.640 --> 0:23:53.359 very healing, very validating, and perhaps give you hope to 0:23:53.840 --> 0:23:56.159 move forward through the caregiving journey. 0:23:57.040 --> 0:23:59.800 So, lindsay, when you're starting to recognize the symptoms of 0:23:59.800 --> 0:24:04.560 burn out, how can caregivers work through these negative feelings 0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:08.680 and avoid taking it out on those around them? 0:24:09.240 --> 0:24:12.280 Great question, and I would like to say that there 0:24:12.359 --> 0:24:16.760 is no way we can avoid these negative feelings. The goal, 0:24:16.960 --> 0:24:21.359 especially when I'm working with clients and private practice, we're 0:24:21.359 --> 0:24:24.960 not trying to get rid of or eliminate any of 0:24:25.000 --> 0:24:28.479 these negative thoughts or feelings. We're trying to choose a 0:24:28.520 --> 0:24:32.800 new way to respond to them and interact with them. So, 0:24:33.160 --> 0:24:37.240 if you are noticing that you are bombarded with negative 0:24:37.280 --> 0:24:41.640 thoughts about your family who's not helping, and you get 0:24:41.640 --> 0:24:46.200 into this automatic thought loop about they should do more, 0:24:46.400 --> 0:24:50.520 they know they this say that noticing the thought process 0:24:50.560 --> 0:24:53.840 that you're stuck in, noticing the negative feelings that come 0:24:53.920 --> 0:24:56.439 up with that, and a lot of times when we 0:24:56.560 --> 0:24:59.399 notice we're doing something that we know isn't helpful, we 0:24:59.520 --> 0:25:03.600 then start to be hard on ourselves. So instead of 0:25:03.600 --> 0:25:07.480 being critical or judgmental, I should be grateful, Why am 0:25:07.480 --> 0:25:11.040 I feeling like this? Something's wrong with me? Acknowledging those 0:25:11.080 --> 0:25:18.159 negative feelings with acceptance, with compassion, and without judgment. And 0:25:18.240 --> 0:25:21.359 when we can allow ourselves to have these negative feelings 0:25:21.359 --> 0:25:25.320 and negative thoughts without trying to get rid of them 0:25:25.359 --> 0:25:28.800 and push them away or let them take over, we 0:25:28.920 --> 0:25:33.560 can be with ourselves when we're uncomfortable and not engage 0:25:33.760 --> 0:25:37.440 in unhealthy or unhelpful behaviors. 0:25:38.400 --> 0:25:42.480 Great advice. And I think the thing that really jumps 0:25:42.480 --> 0:25:46.560 out at me that is so different from the way 0:25:46.640 --> 0:25:50.720 I approach caregiving at nineteen with my dad with Parkinson's 0:25:50.800 --> 0:25:53.800 or even later on with my son with autism, was 0:25:53.800 --> 0:25:58.359 that I never acknowledged my feelings. You know, I never 0:25:59.040 --> 0:26:02.000 there was no mindful this about Oh I'm feeling this way. 0:26:02.040 --> 0:26:05.400 It was always suppress it, suppress it. Yeah, this kid 0:26:05.440 --> 0:26:07.120 needs me right now. I don't have time to feel 0:26:07.119 --> 0:26:10.280 this way. My dad needs me right now, And that 0:26:10.400 --> 0:26:14.320 is I think so important that people allow themselves to 0:26:14.440 --> 0:26:17.840 really acknowledge that it's okay to feel that, embrace it, 0:26:17.840 --> 0:26:19.800 and then it's how you react to that and how 0:26:19.880 --> 0:26:21.920 what you do with those feelings. Right. 0:26:22.040 --> 0:26:27.760