Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.
Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club.
Speaker 1: Morning.
Speaker 3: Everybody's DJ n V. Charlamagne the Guy. We are to
Speaker 3: breakfast Club. We got a special guest.
Speaker 2: In the building.
Speaker 1: Yes, indeed we have Pastor Mike Todd. Welcome brother. What's
Speaker 1: going on, family, y'all? Good?
Speaker 4: Yes, man, I'm blessed. Man, I'm at the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: It's y'all. I'm blessed, black and holly favored.
Speaker 4: You are definitely black, blessed and highly favored. It feels
Speaker 4: I feel like all of us are blessed, black and hot.
Speaker 2: Feels good.
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me, Man, Happy to have you
Speaker 5: new book, damage would not destroyed.
Speaker 2: From trauma to triumph. Yes, sir, powerful title bro.
Speaker 4: It's my life, and it's honestly, I believe a lot
Speaker 4: of people's life that they don't share.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: You see everybody from people who've gone from the gutter
Speaker 4: to this big platform, or people who've just made it
Speaker 4: out of the hood or just made it from where
Speaker 4: they thought they would never come, but then they shut
Speaker 4: up and stopped telling the actual story about how they
Speaker 4: got from where they were to where they are now.
Speaker 2: I have a theory about that.
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 5: I think the theory now, like I'm forty five years old,
Speaker 5: so you look good.
Speaker 2: It so grown, thank you brother.
Speaker 5: So growing up, you know, it was those stories of overcoming,
Speaker 5: those stories of making mistakes and you know, becoming a
Speaker 5: better person that we always gravitated towards that we learned from.
Speaker 5: Nowadays because of this soul called cancel culture. Yeah, nobody
Speaker 5: wants to talk about the mistakes that they made. Yeah, no,
Speaker 5: nobody because they feel like they'll be judged for them
Speaker 5: and crucified form, which they probably.
Speaker 1: Will, but it's temporary.
Speaker 4: Like the truth of the matter is, because I'm a
Speaker 4: person of faith, I believe the truth of the matter
Speaker 4: is the we overcome by the blood of the Lamb.
Speaker 1: That's what crisis them.
Speaker 4: But the words of our own testimony, even if you
Speaker 4: don't believe what I believe, the truth is when you
Speaker 4: see somebody else go through something and you make it
Speaker 4: through it, it gives you courage, It gives you hope,
Speaker 4: it gives you dang maybe I can do that too.
Speaker 4: And a lot of people are robbing other people of
Speaker 4: the fuel that they need to overcome their actual situation
Speaker 4: because they scared. Number one and number two is because
Speaker 4: they feel like maybe my worst moment defined me, but
Speaker 4: I found that in my worst moment, that's who that's
Speaker 4: what made me. And so I just wanted to come
Speaker 4: like completely clean, completely raw. I say, hot, humble, open,
Speaker 4: and transparent, and I mean it takes also the power
Speaker 4: out of what anybody can ever say about me.
Speaker 5: I used to I believe you. I agree with everything
Speaker 5: you say. I always say, live your truth, so nobody
Speaker 5: can use your truth against you. Well, boy, they will try.
Speaker 1: They'll try.
Speaker 4: The truth of the matter is, but if it's real,
Speaker 4: like when you cut it open and it's real and
Speaker 4: you actually grew from it, and you actually learn from
Speaker 4: the cheating and you actually did the work and went
Speaker 4: the therapy and you actually yeah, no, I did'bazzle that money,
Speaker 4: but I'm not gonna do that and never again. And
Speaker 4: I'm like, when you actually grow, I believe that this
Speaker 4: life is about progression, not perfection. And on the GRAM
Speaker 4: and in front of people, were always trying to present perfection.
Speaker 4: But I really believe, like when you cut it all down,
Speaker 4: it's one baby step in front of another baby step
Speaker 4: in front of another baby step, and you look up
Speaker 4: and like, how did I get here? It was a
Speaker 4: bunch of small moments that got you today. You say that,
Speaker 4: but then I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't think people necessarily care about that, right, because
Speaker 3: let's let's take one of the biggest things I think
Speaker 3: people have been talking about in the last week, right,
Speaker 3: Jada pikersmiths, Yeah, right. People have been talking about how
Speaker 3: she's so foul on Will and how she did this
Speaker 3: and how. But we always talk about tell your truth, right, Yeah, good,
Speaker 3: bad and different. We don't know what happened in their relationship.
Speaker 3: Have nobe the way your marriage is, the way my
Speaker 3: marriage is, the way their his marriage is. It's not
Speaker 3: the way their marriage might be, So you we don't know,
Speaker 3: but people have been killing them and killing their relationship
Speaker 3: based on things that we don't know. When she was
Speaker 3: just sharing her truth because please believe, I'm sure there's
Speaker 3: somebody out there that's living a life just like them
Speaker 3: and now feels comfortable being able to talk about it
Speaker 3: because she was able.
Speaker 4: To talk about But those are moments like, think about
Speaker 4: what y'all talked about a year ago compared to what
Speaker 4: y'all talk about today, compared to what you're gonna talk
Speaker 4: about next month. The truth of the matter is in
Speaker 4: the culture that we the feedback culture that we live in.
Speaker 4: Right now, everybody's just trying to say, what's gonna get
Speaker 4: them a happy meal off of the YouTube clips, right like.
Speaker 1: That's what everybody's trying to say right now.
Speaker 4: But the truth of the matter is the person that
Speaker 4: is in the situation, that's in the fire, is that
Speaker 4: fire actually purifying something out of you? Is that fire
Speaker 4: actually making you into something? Fire is not bad, It
Speaker 4: actually purifies the real and so most people, every piece
Speaker 4: of gold and jewelry had to be put against fire.
Speaker 4: The problem is when it's not authentically who you are,
Speaker 4: when it's not really what's in you, that stuff gets
Speaker 4: melted away and that's where people get exposed. That's where
Speaker 4: people like I was all about this and all about this.
Speaker 4: When fire hit, it shows like that's not what you
Speaker 4: was really about. And so for me, I just think
Speaker 4: that too many people, especially black, especially black people, we
Speaker 4: do not face the damage that we went through. We
Speaker 4: run from it, we go away from it. We try
Speaker 4: to Gucci Louie down, we try to get out of
Speaker 4: the neighborhood. We try to But the truth of the
Speaker 4: matter is we're running from an insecurity at fifteen.
Speaker 2: Putting kon on dog shit.
Speaker 1: That's like that.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't say it like that, but because you said
Speaker 4: it like that, say amen, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: But the truth of the matter is we're hoping people
Speaker 4: don't actually find out what it really is. And we're
Speaker 4: about to go into Thanksgiving, people going back to families
Speaker 4: they hate.
Speaker 1: We're going back into Christmas.
Speaker 4: People about to buy expensive stuff and going to debt
Speaker 4: for children that they don't know, but they keep Jordan's up, Like,
Speaker 4: just think about all the things, Like these kids don't
Speaker 4: even know who their real dad is or who their
Speaker 4: actual family is.
Speaker 1: But instead of facing it, instead of.
Speaker 4: Going to counseling with our kids, instead of just saying
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, like we just gonna keep moving on up.
Speaker 4: We gonna keep buying new cars, we gonna keep getting
Speaker 4: new wigs, And I'm like, yo, something has to change.
Speaker 4: We have to deal with our damage. And I believe
Speaker 4: that God loves damaged people. Like you can't find nobody
Speaker 4: in the Bible, nobody in faith that wasn't jacked up.
Speaker 4: But God does his best work with damaged people. If
Speaker 4: you would just admit I'm damaged.
Speaker 3: How important is a support system right, because yeah, he
Speaker 3: came with your wife. Charlamaze been with his wife twenty
Speaker 3: five of him my wife. How important is that because
Speaker 3: a lot of times you hear people say I don't
Speaker 3: need that. I'm looking for a guy that's gonna make
Speaker 3: this much money.
Speaker 1: But that's done.
Speaker 2: They never talk about the heart.
Speaker 4: The truth of the matter is, um, yeah, it's dumb.
Speaker 4: Like I tell people all the time. I did a book.
Speaker 4: My first book was called Relationship Goes, and I have
Speaker 4: this whole chapter in the book about rip up your list,
Speaker 4: and I know people are gonna say whatever they're gonna
Speaker 4: say about they got.
Speaker 1: This list, you're still single. The truth of the matter is,
Speaker 1: like the truth of the matter is.
Speaker 4: A lot of times God never hands you a finished product.
Speaker 4: He hands you something you gotta work. And that's why
Speaker 4: Ike is one of the greatest furniture companies. No matter
Speaker 4: what you think about it is they give you something
Speaker 4: that you have to put your hands to, to a symbol,
Speaker 4: and it gives people another greater level of satisfaction because
Speaker 4: when they actually put their hands in to help make
Speaker 4: that thing happen, it feels like I've accomplished something. Relationship
Speaker 4: is the same way God never TDJ says it. God
Speaker 4: never gives you a table, He gives you a true
Speaker 4: The same thing with the relationship, and so I think
Speaker 4: many times people need to rip up their lists and
Speaker 4: actually look for the things that are in the heart.
Speaker 4: You can't instagram integrity, you can't facebook faithfulness, And so
Speaker 4: look at my man he da da dah. The greatest
Speaker 4: things that have made me and my wife's relationship work,
Speaker 4: I cannot show you on a post. It has to
Speaker 4: be lived out, proved out, and over time. And so
Speaker 4: when you say support system, bro, that's what that is.
Speaker 4: Literally the only reason I'm here right now is because
Speaker 4: I got people who could see me at my worst
Speaker 4: and still think of me in my best situation to steal.
Speaker 4: Like while it still smells like that word that you
Speaker 4: said just a second ago, they still walking with me,
Speaker 4: and like, I'll actually I'll be with you because I
Speaker 4: know it's not gonna be like this. The whole time
Speaker 4: I tell people, community is everything. Having mentors is everything.
Speaker 4: Being around people that are further than you is everything.
Speaker 4: And if you're gonna deal with your damage, you need
Speaker 4: that because a lot of people do it in isolation,
Speaker 4: and COVID has really jacked up people. And when I
Speaker 4: say that, I'm not even talking from a health standpoint physically.
Speaker 4: I'm talking about a mental health standpoint, a spiritual health standpoint,
Speaker 4: a relational health standpoint. People went into their caves and
Speaker 4: started spectating on what everybody was doing, and it made
Speaker 4: them look out instead of looking I.
Speaker 5: Agree with that, but I also feel like during COVID
Speaker 5: a lot of people had to stop and see themselves
Speaker 5: for the first time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and they didn't like what they saw, but then
Speaker 4: we went back outside. So it's one thing to see it,
Speaker 4: it's another thing to deal with it. It's one thing
Speaker 4: to see it, and it's another thing. I mean, vacations
Speaker 4: or or travel is gone up like a thousand percent
Speaker 4: because people are trying to escape run. They running from
Speaker 4: themself and the only person you cannot finesses you.
Speaker 3: Or this significant other. A lot of people in COVID
Speaker 3: realized they didn't like their partner.
Speaker 1: They hated them.
Speaker 3: They hated their partner because you know, usually you think
Speaker 3: about it, you know, you work for eight nine hours
Speaker 3: and yeah, you come for a couple hours and you're
Speaker 3: only really see in your partner for a couple hours.
Speaker 1: But COVID exposed to everybody.
Speaker 4: And this is where I think for most of us,
Speaker 4: it's time to take our trauma and know that our
Speaker 4: trauma can go to triumph.
Speaker 1: Every horrible thing that ever happened.
Speaker 4: To me, every trashy thing I did to myself, When
Speaker 4: I brought that to counseling, to my community, to Christ
Speaker 4: it was like, oh, yeah, we can package that, we
Speaker 4: can move that, we could cut that. Oh you needed
Speaker 4: to learn that. And then it became the pain that
Speaker 4: built the platform. And I'm just trying to go first,
Speaker 4: especially in somebody who does what I do as a
Speaker 4: pastor or leader. We usually stand on a platform and
Speaker 4: tell everybody, you know, you need to work on this,
Speaker 4: you can do this. And I was like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna take a different approach. I'm gonna go do it first.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go to intensive therapy.
Speaker 1: Me and my wife gonna fly to Colorado for a
Speaker 1: whole year every month and spend five days in counseling
Speaker 1: for five hours.
Speaker 4: We're gonna, we're gon, We're gonna work work, Oh, because
Speaker 4: what's not transformed is transfer. Everybody leaving an inheritance for
Speaker 4: their kids and money and cars, but they're leaving poor spiritual, emotional,
Speaker 4: and mental health. So what happens when you give a
Speaker 4: kid who's never been seen, who's never actually known their identity,
Speaker 4: and who has no self worth a million dollars?
Speaker 1: What do you think they're gonna do.
Speaker 4: They're gonna buy friends, They're gonna go out here and
Speaker 4: try to numb because they don't want to feel like
Speaker 4: I just think that we could do it better.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying be broke, I'm saying be rich everywhere.
Speaker 5: What was your breakthrough moment that invites you to be
Speaker 5: so vulnerable in this book?
Speaker 1: Bro I have a son, our second son. His name
Speaker 1: is MJ my namesake.
Speaker 4: He has autism, and me and my wife we're going
Speaker 4: through the height of our ministry and our business is
Speaker 4: growing and everything's exploding.
Speaker 1: My first book goes.
Speaker 4: Number one New York Times Bestseller. I barely graduated English class, Like,
Speaker 4: I'm in a shock. And then our only son, we
Speaker 4: take him to the doctor and they're like, yeah, he's
Speaker 4: not progressing normally. He's not talking, he's not looking anymore,
Speaker 4: and he was going the right way and then just
Speaker 4: something switched. And my motor has always been, let me
Speaker 4: be greater, let me be better, Let me make more money,
Speaker 4: Let me do this. And I tried to do everything
Speaker 4: I knew how to do, and it didn't fix nothing.
Speaker 4: Getting a bigger platform, writing another book, making more money,
Speaker 4: it didn't do anything. And so when my motor broke,
Speaker 4: it was like, what's going on. I'm watching my wife
Speaker 4: slip into depression. Nothing is working, and so I was like,
Speaker 4: hold on, we got to start working on this. I
Speaker 4: was sitting with my mentor, Tim Ross at a crackle
Speaker 4: barrel outside of Oklahoma City, and I was just telling
Speaker 4: them what I was going through, and we started thinking
Speaker 4: about back.
Speaker 1: Over my life and he said yeah.
Speaker 4: He was like, yeah, when did God's standard become lower
Speaker 4: than your standard? And I was like, what are you
Speaker 4: talking about. He was like, Michael, you've been telling me
Speaker 4: all this stuff. You want to make better and you
Speaker 4: want it to be great. You keep using this word great, great, great,
Speaker 4: he said, But in the beginning, when God created the
Speaker 4: heavens and the earth, he looked at it and he
Speaker 4: said it's good. And then he created the stars, and
Speaker 4: he created the land and said you go right here,
Speaker 4: you go right here, created the animals. Going through the
Speaker 4: whole creation, he said it's good. Then he created man
Speaker 4: on the sixth day, and he said, you know what,
Speaker 4: that's very good. He said, if God's standard is good, why.
Speaker 1: Is yours great? And then he asked me this question.
Speaker 4: He said, when did you make a decision that good
Speaker 4: was not good enough? And immediately I went back to
Speaker 4: twelve years old when I'm in church. My parents raised
Speaker 4: us in church, and I played drums since I was young,
Speaker 4: and I would go at twelve years old to the
Speaker 4: choir rehearsal because my dream was to play in big church,
Speaker 4: like play with the big choir, like not the youth
Speaker 4: for the junior. I wanted to play and I was good,
Speaker 4: and I would go every Tuesday, only twelve year old
Speaker 4: there and they would never let me play.
Speaker 1: They would tell me I was great.
Speaker 4: They would tell me that, man, you getting so good,
Speaker 4: and pinched my cheeks, take all the little stuff, but
Speaker 4: they would never let me play. They probably had a
Speaker 4: legitimate reason. But I remember sitting on that that maroon
Speaker 4: chair in the back and deciding, I guess good is
Speaker 4: not good enough.
Speaker 1: I will only be great. And what ended up happening From.
Speaker 4: Twelve years old to thirty five years old, I would
Speaker 4: not settle for anything good. And now I'm looking at
Speaker 4: my son and he's not good.
Speaker 1: And I couldn't. I couldn't.
Speaker 4: I couldn't rationalize or reconcile what was going on in me.
Speaker 4: And God was like, you're gonna have to become okay
Speaker 4: with things being good. And I had to go and
Speaker 4: heal that twelve year old Michael to be able to
Speaker 4: even raise the thirty five year old Michael and raise his.
Speaker 1: Son, and Bro.
Speaker 4: I went on a journey, Bro to actually deal with
Speaker 4: the damage that was in me. And as I did that,
Speaker 4: it was what did you say? My wife said, I
Speaker 4: couldn't fix her either. I couldn't even relate because there
Speaker 4: was so much stuff on the inside of me that
Speaker 4: I had just put success over, put money over, put
Speaker 4: all this other stuff over. And it was kind of like, yeah,
Speaker 4: like we out here and man, because I went on
Speaker 4: this heeling journey, because I spent the money. Everybody talking
Speaker 4: about investing property, you're the only thing that is priceless.
Speaker 2: I always invest in your mental wealth.
Speaker 1: I want you invest in yourself.
Speaker 4: You got Jay's you don't even wear for three years,
Speaker 4: you sitting them in boxes, and you won't even invest
Speaker 4: in dealing with why your daddy left you, and you
Speaker 4: you so broken over it, but you just can't even
Speaker 4: communicate to nobody. And now you're raising another generation that
Speaker 4: you're there present, but you're not there present emotionally.
Speaker 1: You have to start from some place you got us.
Speaker 4: But that's why I went first, DJ ANDV. This is
Speaker 4: why I wrote this book. This may not be my
Speaker 4: most popular book, but it's my most valuable book because
Speaker 4: if anybody actually reads this, if anybody actually like goes
Speaker 4: in it, they're gonna be like, dang, I can see myself,
Speaker 4: I can see where this could happen, and maybe I'll
Speaker 4: take the first step, right, And that's all I'm trying
Speaker 4: to get somebody to do.
Speaker 1: Take a first.
Speaker 4: Step, Like, don't even freaking think about being this next
Speaker 4: version of yourself.
Speaker 1: Just take admit that you are still.
Speaker 4: Hurt from that first relationship, because you have been in
Speaker 4: seventeen other relationships acting like he ain't it, I ain't this,
Speaker 4: and like you're still hurt from old.
Speaker 1: Boy in two thousand and eight.
Speaker 5: Man, you know, that's exactly why I wrote my second book,
Speaker 5: Shook on Anxiety, playing tricks on me, And that's you know,
Speaker 5: it was me just talking about the things I had
Speaker 5: learned in therapy. But I had an actual psychiatrist, doctor
Speaker 5: ishmajor in the book with me because that's what I wanted.
Speaker 5: I wanted to admit that not only am I damaged,
Speaker 5: I wanted to talk about my traumas, but I wanted
Speaker 5: somebody to read that.
Speaker 2: Book and just take a first step.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 4: That's it, because the first step leads to the next step,
Speaker 4: and most of us have been so caught up on perfection, bro,
Speaker 4: that it is jacking your whole life up.
Speaker 1: It's progression. Somebody may lead to the next step.
Speaker 4: But if you just scutin, like if you barely like dang,
Speaker 4: I just listened to the podcast and I'm gonna go
Speaker 4: get the book, or I'm gonna just watch a message
Speaker 4: like or I'm gonna go get Charlotte Maaine. Like, just
Speaker 4: take a step, because the end of the day, man,
Speaker 4: you're well being, who you really.
Speaker 1: Want to be is available to you.
Speaker 5: I love how you talk about you know how you
Speaker 5: need God and therapy? Yeah, bro, you know how people
Speaker 5: feel like you can't have bocal. They'll say things like
Speaker 5: you can't have faith in God. Faith and fear don't coexist.
Speaker 2: No, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: The first thing you gotta realize is the opposite of
Speaker 4: faith is not fear.
Speaker 1: The opposite of faith is love.
Speaker 4: The Bible says perfect love cast out all fear. The
Speaker 4: truth of the matter is most people don't know how
Speaker 4: love they are by God, so that's where fear really
Speaker 4: comes from. But the truth of the matter for me
Speaker 4: is I've been raised in church. I'm a pastor's kid,
Speaker 4: I've been around in my whole life, been at the altar, play,
Speaker 4: done all the other stuff. And I believe. Me and
Speaker 4: my wife believe in theology and therapy. We believe in
Speaker 4: prayer and going to a practice. We believe in worshiping
Speaker 4: and doing the hard work. Because the truth of the
Speaker 4: matter is, many times what happens at church, at the altar,
Speaker 4: in your alone time with.
Speaker 1: God is a catalyst. It's supposed to start something.
Speaker 4: And for years, especially in the Black Church, for many reasons,
Speaker 4: like maybe because we didn't have access to things, and
Speaker 4: maybe because we weren't taught about them, or maybe generationally
Speaker 4: there was a stigma on it.
Speaker 1: But we act like everything happened when they prayed. No no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no no.
Speaker 4: Everything started when they prayed, And we're supposed to continue
Speaker 4: to pray, but there was some stuff that was in
Speaker 4: me that I had to communicate about. If you watch
Speaker 4: Jesus in the Bible, most of the miracles happened in communication.
Speaker 4: They weren't just like bow and then it's over. It
Speaker 4: was they were walking with him. He had disciples that
Speaker 4: walked with him like me and you sitting here that
Speaker 4: was still cutting people's ears off, still backstabbing, still doing stuff.
Speaker 1: But it was a process.
Speaker 4: I just think that church has to do a better
Speaker 4: job at letting people know that when you get saved,
Speaker 4: that's your spirit getting saved, but you still got this flesh,
Speaker 4: and you still got this soul, the mind, willing emotions,
Speaker 4: and it has to be continually worked on. It has
Speaker 4: to be continually transformed. And that's why I go to church.
Speaker 4: That's why I read my Bible. Because I can make
Speaker 4: a good decision today and be ready to go off
Speaker 4: on somebody tomorrow. I need to continually be in this
Speaker 4: process of becoming. The old folks would say sanctification the
Speaker 4: process of being made holy.
Speaker 1: All I'm trying to do is be set apart. But
Speaker 1: it's a process to that.
Speaker 4: And I just think, again, that's why I go back
Speaker 4: to progression, not perfection.
Speaker 1: That's a question, right, let's go.
Speaker 3: So my daughter was talking to the other day and
Speaker 3: she was talking about the Bible, right, yeah, And she
Speaker 3: was telling me that there was a lot of things
Speaker 3: in the Bible that wasn't understandable to her, right, meaning
Speaker 3: that she felt like the world crucifies you for certain
Speaker 3: things that are in the Bible, but for other things,
Speaker 3: they don't crucify you as much. So for her, she
Speaker 3: was having a hard time necessarily believing as much because
Speaker 3: she was like, it doesn't make sense. Yeah, and when
Speaker 3: a child says it doesn't make sense, she's putting two
Speaker 3: and two together. So what would you say to a
Speaker 3: child or young adult that's reading the Bible, even adult
Speaker 3: that's reading the Bible, and say, hey, when you talk
Speaker 3: about this in the Bible, it's kind of like it
Speaker 3: happens every day. But when you talk about this, it's like,
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, you can't do that. So what do
Speaker 3: you say on that effect?
Speaker 4: Number One, you cannot look at culture to be able
Speaker 4: to get what you need to get from the Bible.
Speaker 3: So that's the first in the Bible that I cancel
Speaker 3: you forever. Do those jobs sponsors, but it's so in
Speaker 3: the Bible.
Speaker 4: So the truth of the matter is the spirit of
Speaker 4: the Bible is stronger than the word of the Bible,
Speaker 4: the letter of the Bible. And that's why I believe
Speaker 4: you have to have an actual relationship with God. Because
Speaker 4: the Bible is the only book that you read it.
Speaker 4: It'll start reading you. You'll read something like that, don't
Speaker 4: feel right, and the heart of it, I believe the
Speaker 4: spirit of God will speak to you, give you an
Speaker 4: impression on your heart, bring clarity, and I think you
Speaker 4: should study to show yourself approved. There's tons of stuff
Speaker 4: in the Bible that I'd be like, dang, like whoa, Okay,
Speaker 4: what do I do with that? Well, this is a
Speaker 4: different culture and a different time that all this stuff
Speaker 4: was happening. But behind every thing that happens in the Bible,
Speaker 4: there's an idea, a spirit, and a meaning behind it,
Speaker 4: and it's finding that thing. What I would encourage your
Speaker 4: daughter to do is first not just start. There's some
Speaker 4: parts in the Bible that if you start there, you're
Speaker 4: gonna be confused for the rest of your life. Start
Speaker 4: with the Gospels. Go to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
Speaker 4: Just learn about Jesus. He's the fulfillment of the whole Bible.
Speaker 4: So when you go to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John
Speaker 4: and watch how he touched people, Watch how he loved people.
Speaker 4: Watch how when church people were telling him not to
Speaker 4: heal people, he was stepping out on days that he
Speaker 4: was not supposed to heal nobody and reaching beyond people's
Speaker 4: faults and seeing their needs. Learn the person of Jesus.
Speaker 4: That's what I would tell anybody. Don't go start in
Speaker 4: the Old Testament trying to figure out what all the
Speaker 4: sacrifices are in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. Just start there, because
Speaker 4: in the person of Jesus, he is the Word. And
Speaker 4: when that word comes to life in you. And then
Speaker 4: tell her to watch some of my messages. Tell her
Speaker 4: to check in with somebody who's done the studying and
Speaker 4: can break it down in another level. How does your
Speaker 4: daughter one twenty one? Tell her to go back and
Speaker 4: watch Relationship Goes by Mike Todd, like, just send it
Speaker 4: to her, and I'm telling you there, Sometimes it's harder
Speaker 4: to understand something when you approach it by yourself instead
Speaker 4: of approaching it with somebody who knows.
Speaker 1: How did your car work. All of us.
Speaker 4: We go to our car and we probably y'all y'all rich,
Speaker 4: So y'all push a start button or don't even touch
Speaker 4: it and it comes on. You don't know all of
Speaker 4: the things that happened for that to happen. But if
Speaker 4: you get with a mechanic and somebody who works with that,
Speaker 4: they'll be able to say, hey, this is how this happens,
Speaker 4: and you come with another understanding. So I believe that
Speaker 4: the Bible is something that you approach by yourself in
Speaker 4: your alone time, but you can't stay there. I had
Speaker 4: to get people to help me understand that thing. And
Speaker 4: I think that's what I would tell your daughter.
Speaker 5: You know, I want to go back to the theology
Speaker 5: in therapy thing. I got a couple of questions about that.
Speaker 5: My good brother, little Duval, he posted a few weeks ago.
Speaker 5: He put a lot of y'all going to therapy because
Speaker 5: you're avoiding God.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no no no. I that may be
Speaker 1: his experience.
Speaker 4: I think a lot of people need to go to
Speaker 4: therapy because of what God's shown them, and a lot
Speaker 4: of times God shows you you in situations. And I
Speaker 4: will agree, I'll say this, some people are going to
Speaker 4: therapy running from God. Like I will say that because
Speaker 4: they need to prove that they are working on something,
Speaker 4: and so going to therapy paying the thing not being
Speaker 4: checked in just going and sitting there for an hour
Speaker 4: that could make you feel good, like you check something off.
Speaker 4: But I do truly believe that we have been made
Speaker 4: by a creator and God has given people the ability
Speaker 4: to understand me and my wife had to do this
Speaker 4: thing called reprocessing. I don't know if everybody knows what
Speaker 4: that means, but like literally, you have to go to
Speaker 4: a situation, you have to think about that situation, and
Speaker 4: then you have to actually think about what you wish
Speaker 4: would have happened, how it could have been different. You
Speaker 4: got to retrain the pathways in your brain to be
Speaker 4: able to see here feel something different.
Speaker 1: And God made us that unique, and so I believe
Speaker 1: it's both.
Speaker 4: And I believe there are some people that will go
Speaker 4: to therapy running from God, and I think there are
Speaker 4: some people that go to God running from therapy.
Speaker 1: Do I think everybody needs therapy?
Speaker 4: Yes, the Bible says that there is wisdom in the
Speaker 4: multitude of counselors. I don't think that everybody just needs
Speaker 4: therapy for their emotional stuff. They need therapy for their finances.
Speaker 4: I got counselors for my finances. I got counselors from
Speaker 4: my relationship. I got counselors. If the Bible says there's
Speaker 4: wisdom in the multitude of counselors, like you need, you
Speaker 4: need therapy and just how to respond sometimes to your key,
Speaker 4: It's like, I mean, we were all raised differently, but
Speaker 4: sometimes especially in our community, like the hand the embarrassing
Speaker 4: our kids be raising our kids, A lot of that
Speaker 4: stuff is just because it happened to us, and we've
Speaker 4: never admitted how much that jacked us up. So then
Speaker 4: we try to do it to the next generation and
Speaker 4: see like and then and play it like it's good parenting.
Speaker 4: All I'm saying is maybe you need to talk to somebody,
Speaker 4: like maybe you actually need to communicate what being embarrassed
Speaker 4: in the grocery store actually did to you and why
Speaker 4: you all puffed up every time anybody tries to correct you.
Speaker 5: I think the issue with mental and spiritual therapy is
Speaker 5: if we could actually look at it the way we
Speaker 5: look at physical therapy, we'd have a different we'd have
Speaker 5: a different mindset on it.
Speaker 2: Because my arm breaks, I know I need to go.
Speaker 2: My mom can pray over it.
Speaker 5: Yes, I can go to church and everything, but I
Speaker 5: still got to go to a document.
Speaker 4: And it's not that just like you get the surgery,
Speaker 4: but then after it heals, you have to do why
Speaker 4: because I'm trying to get it not just back to
Speaker 4: where it was, I'm trying to get it stronger than
Speaker 4: it was, like so that it doesn't And they tell
Speaker 4: you if it breaks in that place and you actually
Speaker 4: do the therapy, it's a very small chance.
Speaker 1: That'll ever break there. Again, it's not that nothing else
Speaker 1: will break.
Speaker 4: But because you broke it there, you were damaged, you
Speaker 4: did the work, you healed, and then you did the therapy,
Speaker 4: you actually don't even have to worry about that area
Speaker 4: no more. And I agree with you, Charle Magne. That's
Speaker 4: the coldest thing I think I heard you say in
Speaker 4: a year.
Speaker 1: Like.
Speaker 4: If people would view the emotional healing they need like
Speaker 4: a physical healing, everybody would do the work.
Speaker 3: But you know the problem is the problem is is
Speaker 3: like what you said before, it's learned behavior. Yes, sir,
Speaker 3: like most of our parents no didn't go to therapy,
Speaker 3: and if they did, never told us like that was
Speaker 3: grown up business.
Speaker 1: We didn't know about it. To this day.
Speaker 4: I love my parents, but it still is a thing
Speaker 4: like you going to therapy, And again I haven't been able.
Speaker 4: I'm not a therapist to the nation her Mama, Ma, Mama.
Speaker 4: As many times as we was telling them we were
Speaker 4: going to therapy, it almost seemed like a shot.
Speaker 1: It's a problem, just wrong with most people did.
Speaker 4: But the truth of the matter is both of our
Speaker 4: parents as well as many of our parents have had
Speaker 4: health issues. When they have to go get glasses, when
Speaker 4: they have to wear a boot, when they have to
Speaker 4: do anything to get back to the vision they were
Speaker 4: once at, nobody says anything.
Speaker 1: We spend money, we raise money.
Speaker 4: We use insurance, we do all of those things to
Speaker 4: get back to a place we were. Why wouldn't we
Speaker 4: since we've been damaged since five ten, seventeen twenty six,
Speaker 4: why wouldn't we do everything we can? And that's why
Speaker 4: when I wrote this book, I knew that I had
Speaker 4: to do something that most people, specifically in a pastoring role,
Speaker 4: a shepherd over people, or anybody that's doing this in
Speaker 4: twenty twenty three, that's too much ammunition for somebody to
Speaker 4: be able to discredit me.
Speaker 1: My freedom was more important.
Speaker 5: How do you know when to bring your pain to
Speaker 5: a therapist and when you bring your pain to God?
Speaker 4: I think you bring all your pain to God. I
Speaker 4: don't think the Bible says cast all your cares up
Speaker 4: on him because he cares for you. It says take
Speaker 4: on the easy yoke and the easy burden that he
Speaker 4: has traded him for that. I take everything to God.
Speaker 4: I acknowledge God in all my ways. He will direct
Speaker 4: my path. He directed my path to therapy. Bro't. I
Speaker 4: was the pastor. I was the crazy faith God. I
Speaker 4: was like, Yo, we're gonna pray, We're gonna believe. And
Speaker 4: God was like, no, you're gonna sit your butt down
Speaker 4: and talk to an old white lady.
Speaker 1: What like, let's just let's shout. And he was like, no,
Speaker 1: you need to cry. Like I mean, I haven't cried.
Speaker 4: I can count on my hands how many times I
Speaker 4: have cried as a grown man. That's not okay. My
Speaker 4: body needs to relieve. He stows emotions and that stuff.
Speaker 4: But I had not been taught how to do that
Speaker 4: and just how I needed to be taught how to drive,
Speaker 4: taught how to run a business, taught how to actually
Speaker 4: be a husband. I needed to be taught how to
Speaker 4: be able to deal with my emotions. And it was
Speaker 4: almost like I was seeing in black and white. The
Speaker 4: reason the cover of the book is black and white
Speaker 4: is because that's why I was living. Even though I
Speaker 4: was smiling. It was black and white. Now like how
Speaker 4: I live now, what God's done in my heart? Now,
Speaker 4: how I can love this woman now, the four kids
Speaker 4: that I'm raising, the people I can affect now, bro, it's.
Speaker 1: Three D H D color. And was it hard? Hell?
Speaker 4: Yes, Like it took a lot to keep showing up
Speaker 4: and to keep paying for it. Come on, let's be
Speaker 4: for real, Like when you start seeing that tax like
Speaker 4: you like, oh shoot.
Speaker 1: But was it worth it?
Speaker 4: I'm telling you right now it was the greatest investment
Speaker 4: that I've ever made in myself. And I couldn't keep
Speaker 4: it to myself. I could have wrote another book, I
Speaker 4: could have done something, but God was like, nah, you
Speaker 4: need to You got to share this because there's more
Speaker 4: people who are damaged and they need to know they're
Speaker 4: not destroyed.
Speaker 2: What there untransferred wounds.
Speaker 4: It's the stuff that you said untransferred rooms. The truth
Speaker 4: of the matter is every wound that you get has
Speaker 4: the ability to transfer to somebody else in your actions
Speaker 4: or in your non actions. And that's why I said earlier,
Speaker 4: what's not transformed, its transferred. You got a lot of
Speaker 4: your mom and daddy and you that they didn't give
Speaker 4: you directly like they they gave it to you because
Speaker 4: you received it the way that you handle issues, the
Speaker 4: way that you go through stuff. We got a lot
Speaker 4: of stuff because they didn't handle it. I'll give a
Speaker 4: prime example. I tell it in the book. I had
Speaker 4: a pornography addiction. I mean jacked the taking my money,
Speaker 4: my mind, my focus.
Speaker 1: Oh bro free.
Speaker 4: Yeah, back in the day, you know when okay, come
Speaker 4: on now, don't act like you did in three ninety nine.
Speaker 1: Sometimes come on now.
Speaker 4: And if you was buying magazines or if you're doing anything,
Speaker 4: come on, let's be honest. It was robbing me. And
Speaker 4: the money was the least part of it. Well, I'm
Speaker 4: going through this whole thing by myself. I'm suffering, like,
Speaker 4: still trying to pray, still trying to love God, still
Speaker 4: trying to And if somebody's like the pastor I tell
Speaker 4: it every Sunday, don't even trip like because we out here,
Speaker 4: every man is actually struggling with something. Okay, I'm out
Speaker 4: here addicted, trying to do what I've been called to do.
Speaker 4: After I actually start going through the process of healing
Speaker 4: and making decisions and making disciplines and being accountable and
Speaker 4: all this other stuff, I find out my dad he
Speaker 4: was a drum major for Gramlin State University. And he said,
Speaker 4: they came to New York. It's crazy, I'm in New
Speaker 4: York right now. They came to New York and there
Speaker 4: was a street back in the day. Now, this back
Speaker 4: back in the day where they had peep shows down
Speaker 4: the whole street.
Speaker 1: That's forty second Street. Okay, so he.
Speaker 4: Knows the street, forty street. And he said, back in
Speaker 4: the day, they got here on the bus, and he said,
Speaker 4: he got a pocket full of quarters, and you could
Speaker 4: go and you could put the thing, the money in
Speaker 4: the machine, and then the curtain would open and you
Speaker 4: see naked women. Back in the day, that was the
Speaker 4: equivalent of pornography, he said. After I told him what
Speaker 4: I was going through, he said, Mike, I'm sorry, I'm
Speaker 4: sorry I never told you about it. I'm sorry I
Speaker 4: never dealt with it publicly. I'm sorry that I did this,
Speaker 4: he said, because I had five sons, and every single
Speaker 4: one of my brothers and me dealt with the sexual
Speaker 4: addiction because what was not transformed in him was transferred
Speaker 4: into us, and all of us had to deal with
Speaker 4: it in another level. And that's what he told me.
Speaker 4: So I don't know the extent of it. I don't
Speaker 4: know how it affected him and my mom.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, when you're telling somebody something, at
Speaker 4: the end, it's like you tell him what part you
Speaker 4: think they can handle. But I know there was real
Speaker 4: things there because now I'm a man raising four kids.
Speaker 2: How do you know you have a sexual addictional? A man,
Speaker 2: you're supposed to have a healthy sexual affect.
Speaker 4: Definitely, you're supposed to have a said, God gave it
Speaker 4: to you the truth of the man, women from the earth,
Speaker 4: women of God and of God. But God, all the
Speaker 4: greatest creation, Oh the best the creation. You see mine
Speaker 4: back there, Glory to the most High God. The problem
Speaker 4: is the problem is our human nature is leans to
Speaker 4: over indulgence. I mean, I'm talking about just in a
Speaker 4: Krispy Kreme doumb not. I mean, you don't even have
Speaker 4: to you're not even hungry, But if somebody puts some
Speaker 4: hot Krispy creams on.
Speaker 1: The table and before you know it, six of them.
Speaker 4: Jesus, like before you didn't even feel like it was
Speaker 4: and you're still not full. What happens when you eat
Speaker 4: what's going to go against what you need and you're
Speaker 4: still not fool.
Speaker 2: What if you're pouring all of that into your woman,
Speaker 2: wife beautiful?
Speaker 1: I think all of that is beautiful. There is nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with that.
Speaker 4: The truth of the matter is if you pour it
Speaker 4: all into your wife and you still need it from
Speaker 4: the people at your job, and you still need it
Speaker 4: from that app and you still need it, I'm not
Speaker 4: saying within the confines of marriage as well as from
Speaker 4: my belief in confines and marriage, nothing's off limits. But
Speaker 4: that y'all agree on. The truth of the matter is
Speaker 4: people think that the addiction get solved when they get married.
Speaker 1: It never does. So there's some trauma or some drama,
Speaker 1: or some.
Speaker 4: Triggers that actually need to be dealt with, and everybody
Speaker 4: thinks it's the person that's The person's not the problem.
Speaker 4: It's what's in you that you have not addressed. And
Speaker 4: so that's why four marriages, five marriages. I don't want
Speaker 4: to be married no more. And you just sowing your Okay,
Speaker 4: do that, but after you've done it with everybody, you
Speaker 4: still feel empty.
Speaker 1: How have you out?
Speaker 4: Everybody made whole careers about it, sung about it, and
Speaker 4: at the end of the day you still feel empty.
Speaker 1: It can't be the sex.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like that's people who they trying to
Speaker 5: feed their ego and not they soul.
Speaker 1: But even if you're trying to feed your ego, where
Speaker 1: did that come from. Somebody didn't see you. You weren't affirmed.
Speaker 4: Somewhere, you got picked over, and it's like, nah, forget that.
Speaker 1: Everybody gonna see me now.
Speaker 4: And now I'm just saying that a lot of the
Speaker 4: things we clapped for as the fruit has a rotten root.
Speaker 4: Because for me, all the stuff that I was doing
Speaker 4: and being great at and doing what nobody else was
Speaker 4: doing in my small little community, like people were applauding me,
Speaker 4: I was getting attention for it.
Speaker 1: I was gonna be great. But the truth of the
Speaker 1: matter is the root of it was foul.
Speaker 4: It was because I was not affirmed, I was not seen,
Speaker 4: and I was rejected. And until I dealt with that,
Speaker 4: everything I did, I would bro I had made more
Speaker 4: money than I had ever thought I was in I
Speaker 4: was doing dreams.
Speaker 1: I couldn't feel it.
Speaker 4: I could not feel it because I haven't dealt with
Speaker 4: my real issue. And that's why I believe God many
Speaker 4: times brings you to a place where you have nothing
Speaker 4: else so that you can find everything. And too many
Speaker 4: people are running from that place. I actually believe everybody
Speaker 4: should hit rock bottom at least once, whatever that is,
Speaker 4: hit it, because that's where you can fall apart. And
Speaker 4: when you fall apart, that's when God takes all the
Speaker 4: pieces and he makes a masterpiece. And so many people
Speaker 4: are trying their hardest not to fall apart, just fall apart.
Speaker 4: God does his best work with pieces of people, and
Speaker 4: then he creates masterpieces.
Speaker 2: Do you get counseling from other passes.
Speaker 1: Definitely people who have been in the game a lot
Speaker 1: longer than me.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Man, we had an awesome meeting for probably about
Speaker 4: five hours at a restaurant Tdj's.
Speaker 1: He's like the og of OG's.
Speaker 4: So we met and it was like in this secret
Speaker 4: building that was unmarked and we went up and like
Speaker 4: you hit the floor and it's like a restaurant.
Speaker 1: I'm like where am I was.
Speaker 4: Like me and with the Godfather, you know, under saying yeah,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, I'm like, what is going on?
Speaker 1: And that man just begin to pour into me.
Speaker 4: I love TD Jake's as just somebody who talks even
Speaker 4: more than preaching.
Speaker 1: If you ever get to just talk to him.
Speaker 4: It is like and that mentorship, mentorship from Tim Ross,
Speaker 4: mentorship from Robert Morris, mentorship from Steven Ferdick, mentorship from
Speaker 4: all Like, it's invaluable what you learn from people who've
Speaker 4: been damaged.
Speaker 2: Me and Stephen from the same hometown, no monks going
Speaker 2: to South Carolina.
Speaker 4: Bro, I just preached for him two weeks ago. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm pretty Charlotte two weeks ago.
Speaker 5: And my wife because I was already kicked out of
Speaker 5: school by then, but him and my wife went to
Speaker 5: high school together.
Speaker 1: Bro.
Speaker 4: It's it's it's it's invaluable what you can learn from
Speaker 4: somebody who will share from their damage.
Speaker 1: And that's what all of those men did. Like if
Speaker 1: I think about it right now, like I'm thinking you
Speaker 1: call it mentoring, but all mentor mentoring it really is,
Speaker 1: is people showing you where they messed up, where they
Speaker 1: should have done it differently, sharing from their damage, and
Speaker 1: it helps push you into your desk.
Speaker 2: Was this after the spit incident.
Speaker 4: No, bro, that was before. Okay, I'm the spit hits
Speaker 4: the fan. That's what I call it.
Speaker 1: Break it down. People don't know.
Speaker 3: I know we reported a long time ago.
Speaker 2: It was smearing spin on your brother's fit. I don't
Speaker 2: even remember what it was. Your point.
Speaker 5: Think about how that was back then, how everybody had
Speaker 5: you in the storm talking about I don't even remember
Speaker 5: what it yes.
Speaker 4: So I did an example at my church. I'm first off,
Speaker 4: let me say this. I am not a regular preacher,
Speaker 4: like when I say a regular preacher like, I was
Speaker 4: bored in church. And so when God called me to preach,
Speaker 4: I was like, all right, I'm gonna actually use everything
Speaker 4: that I have to help people get it. And so
Speaker 4: I tell stories, I use examples, and honestly, I'm doing
Speaker 4: everything how Virgil Ablo said for my seventeen year old self.
Speaker 4: Most seventeen year olds they don't care nothing about church.
Speaker 4: They're trying to see the girl with the booty and
Speaker 4: go eat and go play with it. So I'm trying
Speaker 4: to like capture. So I've always used examples and stuff
Speaker 4: like that. And so there's this story in the Bible
Speaker 4: where Jesus basically heals a man by spitting on his
Speaker 4: hand and putting on his face. And so this is
Speaker 4: an example I'd done three times before. And this is
Speaker 4: what my blood little brother. This is not some random
Speaker 4: audience member or anything like this. Now, this is a
Speaker 4: brother we fought blood like, this is my little brother.
Speaker 4: And he wanted to do the example with me so
Speaker 4: I could show it. And the whole idea was, like,
Speaker 4: many people will not be willing to go through a
Speaker 4: messy process to get their healing. So the idea was,
Speaker 4: this man was blind, he wasn't deaf. So if Jesus
Speaker 4: is about to spit, he's standing there in front of
Speaker 4: Jesus and he can hear. Like if you hear somebody
Speaker 4: about the Huckalua, you're like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: And I was trying to.
Speaker 4: Say, as disgusting as this is, that man stayed there
Speaker 4: and he received something that nobody else could give him.
Speaker 4: And as I was saying that, I said, maybe you
Speaker 4: the counseling would be messy for you, Maybe apologizing would
Speaker 4: be messing for you. Maybe downsizing your house would be
Speaker 4: messy for you. After you've put on this whole thing
Speaker 4: about how God blessed you but what if on the
Speaker 4: other side of this mess was your healing? And I
Speaker 4: did the example. It worked too well, and by that
Speaker 4: night we was on DMZ, CNN, next morning, Breakfast Club,
Speaker 4: all that other stuff, and it was somebody was saying
Speaker 4: to me the other day there was like, do you
Speaker 4: wish it wouldn't have happened? I was like, honestly no,
Speaker 4: I was like, it shocked me. But what I had
Speaker 4: to deal with internally and what I had to become
Speaker 4: okay with inside of me because of that situation, it
Speaker 4: made me into a man that I would have never
Speaker 4: met had it not happened.
Speaker 2: Go.
Speaker 1: I mean, for me, it changed my whole view of
Speaker 1: who I was called to reach and how much I
Speaker 1: needed anybody's applause.
Speaker 5: I was the only reason I even bought it up,
Speaker 5: because I felt like you was getting subbed a lot
Speaker 5: by other.
Speaker 1: Pastors doing Yeah it was beautiful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like a lot of other pastors was
Speaker 2: like trying to call you out. Would not say your name.
Speaker 4: They don't got my cell phone number, they ain't text me,
Speaker 4: they didn't show up. And this is the beautiful thing
Speaker 4: about people like for many years it was up and
Speaker 4: to the right. Everything about what we were doing. This
Speaker 4: was the first opportunity for somebody to take a hit,
Speaker 4: and some people tried. But when God calls you, you
Speaker 4: can't cancel somebody.
Speaker 5: And that's why I was That's why I asked you, you know,
Speaker 5: who's your mentorship, because I felt like it's good to
Speaker 5: know that there were other pastors who weren't saying, oh,
Speaker 5: you're not gonna talk about the brother I'm a.
Speaker 2: I had people who.
Speaker 4: Pulled up on me, I had people who put their
Speaker 4: arm around me.
Speaker 1: But that's what we're supposed to do.
Speaker 4: If you said, if you say you my brother, if
Speaker 4: you say you my sister, if you say we down,
Speaker 4: that means nothing on the mountaintop. It only means something
Speaker 4: in the valley. And so I'm grateful for all the
Speaker 4: men and women and people who rode with us through
Speaker 4: that storm. Because if you're doing anything, anything of significance.
Speaker 1: You gonna have in moments, it don't matter who you are.
Speaker 4: And so we walked through it, and God has changed
Speaker 4: me in the process because I wasn't trying to combat anything.
Speaker 1: What is this exposing about me?
Speaker 4: And thank God I was in therapy, thank God I
Speaker 4: had community, thank God, and the crazy thing is I
Speaker 4: had finished writing this book, so it wasn't even gonna
Speaker 4: be in the book. And God was like, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: give you a live example of what this looks like
Speaker 4: to be damaged but not destroyed. So I had to
Speaker 4: go back and re edit the book. Chapter two or
Speaker 4: three is when the spit hits the fan, and I
Speaker 4: walked through how the whole situation because I'm gonna use everything.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna die empty, man, if it happens to me
Speaker 4: and God can get glory out of it, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: use all it. No, bro, if we're supposed to be
Speaker 4: defined by our worst moments, then everybody jacked up. But
Speaker 4: if we can take our worst moments give it to God,
Speaker 4: he can flip that thing and turn it into something beautiful.
Speaker 1: That's not about me, that's about him.
Speaker 5: That used to be what the world was about. I mean,
Speaker 5: I guess I still that is what the world is. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I can't let social media make me think of we Well,
Speaker 5: the truth of the matter is it just doesn't get as.
Speaker 1: Many clips, that's right, right.
Speaker 4: A few weeks before this, our church has been a
Speaker 4: generous church to nonprofits organizations sex trafficking. I started in
Speaker 4: the hood of Tassa, Oklahoma, where right up the street
Speaker 4: from where the Race massacres happened in nineteen twenty one.
Speaker 1: Like, that's where my church was.
Speaker 4: And God somehow took that from a three hundred member
Speaker 4: church to a large church that's effecting the world. Well,
Speaker 4: part of that was I'm not gonna be a church
Speaker 4: that just has resources and we're not gonna really give
Speaker 4: Prior to the spit hitting the Fan incident, Charlem Mayne,
Speaker 4: we gave away in one year eight million dollars with
Speaker 4: no strings attached. Wow, not one news report, not one clip.
Speaker 4: Our local news didn't even cover it. Did y'all put
Speaker 4: out a press release about that? Uh eight million dollars.
Speaker 4: We even took the three surviving. Now there's only two
Speaker 4: people who survived the Race Massacres massacres, and we brought
Speaker 4: them on Juneteenth. And because they've not received reparations from anybody,
Speaker 4: not Oklahoma, not not the government anything, we gave them
Speaker 4: each two hundred thousand dollars with no strings attacking.
Speaker 1: I know, But the truth of the matter is that's
Speaker 1: not what people desire to feed on. Hope.
Speaker 4: They desire to feed on people's failures. And so until
Speaker 4: we actually do the inner work. Why the question is why,
Speaker 4: why does the Will and Jada thing make us feel
Speaker 4: better about us?
Speaker 5: Because our relationships with jacked that, but we're not living
Speaker 5: them out alive like.
Speaker 2: They step away from the mic.
Speaker 4: Why does potentially seeing somebody lose their money make you
Speaker 4: feel Why? It's because at the end of the day,
Speaker 4: there's something in you that is not satisfied, not fulfilled,
Speaker 4: and so seeing what happens with made the Stallion and
Speaker 4: Tory Lanez and seeing what happens with this pastor who falls,
Speaker 4: and seeing what happened it just makes us temporarily not
Speaker 4: think about how we need to do some work.
Speaker 1: And that's why the Bible.
Speaker 4: Says, like before you pull that whole log out, that
Speaker 4: speckle out of your brother's eye, you need to get
Speaker 4: that tree log out of your own. And right now
Speaker 4: it's very easy not to even look at yourself because
Speaker 4: I can look at everybody else.
Speaker 2: Man, damaged. What do you hope people get from this book? Man?
Speaker 4: I believe that if you read this book and actually
Speaker 4: do the work that's in here. I tell people this
Speaker 4: all the time, it may not have been your fault.
Speaker 4: What happened to you but it is now your responsibility.
Speaker 4: It's time to do the work.
Speaker 1: And I'm just I'm just.
Speaker 4: Here to say I've had to do the work in
Speaker 4: front of people, like with one hundreds of thousand people's
Speaker 4: watching me, judging me all this stuff. You can do
Speaker 4: this work, no matter where you are, how much money
Speaker 4: you have, what your family thinks about it. You will
Speaker 4: become a different person that will be able to actually
Speaker 4: be a blessing to other people.
Speaker 1: The healed version of you.
Speaker 4: Is better than the version of you that you have
Speaker 4: right now if you do the work, if you actually
Speaker 4: do it.
Speaker 1: Let me just say it like this.
Speaker 4: I dedicated this book to my great grandkids in the
Speaker 4: dedication now my oldest daughter's ten, and I dedicated it
Speaker 4: because the Bible says a good man leaves.
Speaker 1: An inheritance for his children's children.
Speaker 4: And yes, I want to leave them houses, Yes I
Speaker 4: want to leave them investments, but I want to leave
Speaker 4: them emotional health. I pray one day my grandson picks
Speaker 4: this book up and is able to say, my Grandpapa
Speaker 4: dealt with his stuff. And I know I'm struggling right
Speaker 4: now because life be lifing and everybody's going to go
Speaker 4: through it.
Speaker 2: God be God, but.
Speaker 4: God be God, and therapy be be therapy. And that's
Speaker 4: why let me show you. I don't know what camera
Speaker 4: I can look into right here the back of it,
Speaker 4: but it's a double cover.
Speaker 1: The front is me smiling, that's the triumph.
Speaker 4: But the back of it is me, my dad, my
Speaker 4: four brothers, and my son. This this is a picture
Speaker 4: of all of us. It looks like me, but it's
Speaker 4: all of us. Because your damage affects every person.
Speaker 1: You say you love it. So if you want to
Speaker 1: do the work, join me damage, but not to shore.
Speaker 5: If we can pass on generational uh you know, traumas,
Speaker 5: we can definitely pass on generational blessed.
Speaker 4: Bro, you just said it, and and take it from
Speaker 4: blessing generational healing, Like what happens if the greatest thing
Speaker 4: I could give to the next generation is how to
Speaker 4: deal with their issues?
Speaker 1: Yeah, cause, Father, we just thank you.
Speaker 4: For this opportunity to be here, to be in this moment,
Speaker 4: to be with you you, for everybody listening, and with
Speaker 4: my four brothers in the room. I thank you Father
Speaker 4: that something was said here that sparks their faith to
Speaker 4: believe that you can help them deal with their damage. God,
Speaker 4: we got different relationships, different responsibilities, different pains, different hurts,
Speaker 4: but God, you know them all. I thank you that
Speaker 4: by faith, something is about to change on the inside
Speaker 4: of every person under the sound of my voice, bring
Speaker 4: back a moment, a memory of reason.
Speaker 1: Why they need to make this step.
Speaker 4: And I thank you that no matter what has happened
Speaker 4: to them, no matter how bad or how good, I
Speaker 4: thank you that you can take our trauma and you
Speaker 4: can turn it into triumph. You can take our pain
Speaker 4: and you can turn it into platform. Father, I thank
Speaker 4: you for all the people who are damaged but not destroyed.
Speaker 4: Bless them, is my prayer in Jesus name.
Speaker 1: We agree.
Speaker 3: Amen, Amen, ladies and gentlemen. Pastor Mike time, we appreciate you.
Speaker 4: Brother, Hey, bro, we can make this maybe like a
Speaker 4: monthly thing. Let's make it happen. I appreciate y'all.
Speaker 1: It's the breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: Good morning. To add something ear in the morning. The
Speaker 2: Breakfast Club
Speaker 3: H