1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club. 3 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:05,120 Speaker 1: Morning. 4 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 3: Everybody's DJ n V. Charlamagne the Guy. We are to 5 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 3: breakfast Club. We got a special guest. 6 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 2: In the building. 7 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: Yes, indeed we have Pastor Mike Todd. Welcome brother. What's 8 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 1: going on, family, y'all? Good? 9 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 4: Yes, man, I'm blessed. Man, I'm at the Breakfast Club. 10 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 2: It's y'all. I'm blessed, black and holly favored. 11 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:25,080 Speaker 4: You are definitely black, blessed and highly favored. It feels 12 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 4: I feel like all of us are blessed, black and hot. 13 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 2: Feels good. 14 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,159 Speaker 5: Thank you for having me, Man, Happy to have you 15 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 5: new book, damage would not destroyed. 16 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 2: From trauma to triumph. Yes, sir, powerful title bro. 17 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,319 Speaker 4: It's my life, and it's honestly, I believe a lot 18 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 4: of people's life that they don't share. 19 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 1: You know. 20 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 4: You see everybody from people who've gone from the gutter 21 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 4: to this big platform, or people who've just made it 22 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,840 Speaker 4: out of the hood or just made it from where 23 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 4: they thought they would never come, but then they shut 24 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 4: up and stopped telling the actual story about how they 25 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 4: got from where they were to where they are now. 26 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 2: I have a theory about that. 27 00:00:58,920 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 1: What is it? 28 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 5: I think the theory now, like I'm forty five years old, 29 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 5: so you look good. 30 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 2: It so grown, thank you brother. 31 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 5: So growing up, you know, it was those stories of overcoming, 32 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:11,040 Speaker 5: those stories of making mistakes and you know, becoming a 33 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:14,880 Speaker 5: better person that we always gravitated towards that we learned from. 34 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,400 Speaker 5: Nowadays because of this soul called cancel culture. Yeah, nobody 35 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,960 Speaker 5: wants to talk about the mistakes that they made. Yeah, no, 36 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,760 Speaker 5: nobody because they feel like they'll be judged for them 37 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 5: and crucified form, which they probably. 38 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: Will, but it's temporary. 39 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 4: Like the truth of the matter is, because I'm a 40 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 4: person of faith, I believe the truth of the matter 41 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,759 Speaker 4: is the we overcome by the blood of the Lamb. 42 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 1: That's what crisis them. 43 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 4: But the words of our own testimony, even if you 44 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,960 Speaker 4: don't believe what I believe, the truth is when you 45 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 4: see somebody else go through something and you make it 46 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 4: through it, it gives you courage, It gives you hope, 47 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 4: it gives you dang maybe I can do that too. 48 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 4: And a lot of people are robbing other people of 49 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 4: the fuel that they need to overcome their actual situation 50 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 4: because they scared. Number one and number two is because 51 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 4: they feel like maybe my worst moment defined me, but 52 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 4: I found that in my worst moment, that's who that's 53 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 4: what made me. And so I just wanted to come 54 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 4: like completely clean, completely raw. I say, hot, humble, open, 55 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 4: and transparent, and I mean it takes also the power 56 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 4: out of what anybody can ever say about me. 57 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 5: I used to I believe you. I agree with everything 58 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 5: you say. I always say, live your truth, so nobody 59 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 5: can use your truth against you. Well, boy, they will try. 60 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: They'll try. 61 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 4: The truth of the matter is, but if it's real, 62 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 4: like when you cut it open and it's real and 63 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,079 Speaker 4: you actually grew from it, and you actually learn from 64 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 4: the cheating and you actually did the work and went 65 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 4: the therapy and you actually yeah, no, I did'bazzle that money, 66 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,640 Speaker 4: but I'm not gonna do that and never again. And 67 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:41,960 Speaker 4: I'm like, when you actually grow, I believe that this 68 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 4: life is about progression, not perfection. And on the GRAM 69 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 4: and in front of people, were always trying to present perfection. 70 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 4: But I really believe, like when you cut it all down, 71 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 4: it's one baby step in front of another baby step 72 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 4: in front of another baby step, and you look up 73 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,240 Speaker 4: and like, how did I get here? It was a 74 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,920 Speaker 4: bunch of small moments that got you today. You say that, 75 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 4: but then I don't. 76 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 3: I don't think people necessarily care about that, right, because 77 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 3: let's let's take one of the biggest things I think 78 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 3: people have been talking about in the last week, right, 79 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 3: Jada pikersmiths, Yeah, right. People have been talking about how 80 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,079 Speaker 3: she's so foul on Will and how she did this 81 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 3: and how. But we always talk about tell your truth, right, Yeah, good, 82 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,119 Speaker 3: bad and different. We don't know what happened in their relationship. 83 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 3: Have nobe the way your marriage is, the way my 84 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 3: marriage is, the way their his marriage is. It's not 85 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 3: the way their marriage might be, So you we don't know, 86 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,080 Speaker 3: but people have been killing them and killing their relationship 87 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 3: based on things that we don't know. When she was 88 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 3: just sharing her truth because please believe, I'm sure there's 89 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 3: somebody out there that's living a life just like them 90 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:35,840 Speaker 3: and now feels comfortable being able to talk about it 91 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 3: because she was able. 92 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 4: To talk about But those are moments like, think about 93 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 4: what y'all talked about a year ago compared to what 94 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 4: y'all talk about today, compared to what you're gonna talk 95 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 4: about next month. The truth of the matter is in 96 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 4: the culture that we the feedback culture that we live in. 97 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 4: Right now, everybody's just trying to say, what's gonna get 98 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 4: them a happy meal off of the YouTube clips, right like. 99 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 1: That's what everybody's trying to say right now. 100 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 4: But the truth of the matter is the person that 101 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 4: is in the situation, that's in the fire, is that 102 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 4: fire actually purifying something out of you? Is that fire 103 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 4: actually making you into something? Fire is not bad, It 104 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 4: actually purifies the real and so most people, every piece 105 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 4: of gold and jewelry had to be put against fire. 106 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 4: The problem is when it's not authentically who you are, 107 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 4: when it's not really what's in you, that stuff gets 108 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:25,119 Speaker 4: melted away and that's where people get exposed. That's where 109 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 4: people like I was all about this and all about this. 110 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,280 Speaker 4: When fire hit, it shows like that's not what you 111 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,160 Speaker 4: was really about. And so for me, I just think 112 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 4: that too many people, especially black, especially black people, we 113 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,840 Speaker 4: do not face the damage that we went through. We 114 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 4: run from it, we go away from it. We try 115 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,919 Speaker 4: to Gucci Louie down, we try to get out of 116 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,159 Speaker 4: the neighborhood. We try to But the truth of the 117 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 4: matter is we're running from an insecurity at fifteen. 118 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 2: Putting kon on dog shit. 119 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:53,160 Speaker 1: That's like that. 120 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,279 Speaker 4: I wouldn't say it like that, but because you said 121 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 4: it like that, say amen, you know what I'm saying. 122 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 4: But the truth of the matter is we're hoping people 123 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 4: don't actually find out what it really is. And we're 124 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 4: about to go into Thanksgiving, people going back to families 125 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 4: they hate. 126 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: We're going back into Christmas. 127 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,159 Speaker 4: People about to buy expensive stuff and going to debt 128 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 4: for children that they don't know, but they keep Jordan's up, Like, 129 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 4: just think about all the things, Like these kids don't 130 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 4: even know who their real dad is or who their 131 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 4: actual family is. 132 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: But instead of facing it, instead of. 133 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 4: Going to counseling with our kids, instead of just saying 134 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 4: I'm sorry, like we just gonna keep moving on up. 135 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:34,159 Speaker 4: We gonna keep buying new cars, we gonna keep getting 136 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 4: new wigs, And I'm like, yo, something has to change. 137 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 4: We have to deal with our damage. And I believe 138 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 4: that God loves damaged people. Like you can't find nobody 139 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,920 Speaker 4: in the Bible, nobody in faith that wasn't jacked up. 140 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 4: But God does his best work with damaged people. If 141 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 4: you would just admit I'm damaged. 142 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,960 Speaker 3: How important is a support system right, because yeah, he 143 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 3: came with your wife. Charlamaze been with his wife twenty 144 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 3: five of him my wife. How important is that because 145 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,599 Speaker 3: a lot of times you hear people say I don't 146 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,280 Speaker 3: need that. I'm looking for a guy that's gonna make 147 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:05,919 Speaker 3: this much money. 148 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: But that's done. 149 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:07,920 Speaker 2: They never talk about the heart. 150 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 4: The truth of the matter is, um, yeah, it's dumb. 151 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,559 Speaker 4: Like I tell people all the time. I did a book. 152 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 4: My first book was called Relationship Goes, and I have 153 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,600 Speaker 4: this whole chapter in the book about rip up your list, 154 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,840 Speaker 4: and I know people are gonna say whatever they're gonna 155 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 4: say about they got. 156 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: This list, you're still single. The truth of the matter is, 157 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:32,480 Speaker 1: like the truth of the matter is. 158 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,680 Speaker 4: A lot of times God never hands you a finished product. 159 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 4: He hands you something you gotta work. And that's why 160 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:40,599 Speaker 4: Ike is one of the greatest furniture companies. No matter 161 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,280 Speaker 4: what you think about it is they give you something 162 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,480 Speaker 4: that you have to put your hands to, to a symbol, 163 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 4: and it gives people another greater level of satisfaction because 164 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 4: when they actually put their hands in to help make 165 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 4: that thing happen, it feels like I've accomplished something. Relationship 166 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 4: is the same way God never TDJ says it. God 167 00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 4: never gives you a table, He gives you a true 168 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,039 Speaker 4: The same thing with the relationship, and so I think 169 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 4: many times people need to rip up their lists and 170 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 4: actually look for the things that are in the heart. 171 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 4: You can't instagram integrity, you can't facebook faithfulness, And so 172 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 4: look at my man he da da dah. The greatest 173 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 4: things that have made me and my wife's relationship work, 174 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 4: I cannot show you on a post. It has to 175 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 4: be lived out, proved out, and over time. And so 176 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 4: when you say support system, bro, that's what that is. 177 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 4: Literally the only reason I'm here right now is because 178 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 4: I got people who could see me at my worst 179 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 4: and still think of me in my best situation to steal. 180 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 4: Like while it still smells like that word that you 181 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 4: said just a second ago, they still walking with me, 182 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 4: and like, I'll actually I'll be with you because I 183 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 4: know it's not gonna be like this. The whole time 184 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 4: I tell people, community is everything. Having mentors is everything. 185 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,680 Speaker 4: Being around people that are further than you is everything. 186 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 4: And if you're gonna deal with your damage, you need 187 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 4: that because a lot of people do it in isolation, 188 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 4: and COVID has really jacked up people. And when I 189 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 4: say that, I'm not even talking from a health standpoint physically. 190 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 4: I'm talking about a mental health standpoint, a spiritual health standpoint, 191 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 4: a relational health standpoint. People went into their caves and 192 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 4: started spectating on what everybody was doing, and it made 193 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,640 Speaker 4: them look out instead of looking I. 194 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 5: Agree with that, but I also feel like during COVID 195 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 5: a lot of people had to stop and see themselves 196 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 5: for the first time. 197 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, and they didn't like what they saw, but then 198 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:33,079 Speaker 4: we went back outside. So it's one thing to see it, 199 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 4: it's another thing to deal with it. It's one thing 200 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 4: to see it, and it's another thing. I mean, vacations 201 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 4: or or travel is gone up like a thousand percent 202 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:46,719 Speaker 4: because people are trying to escape run. They running from 203 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 4: themself and the only person you cannot finesses you. 204 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,280 Speaker 3: Or this significant other. A lot of people in COVID 205 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 3: realized they didn't like their partner. 206 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,079 Speaker 1: They hated them. 207 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,319 Speaker 3: They hated their partner because you know, usually you think 208 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,200 Speaker 3: about it, you know, you work for eight nine hours 209 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 3: and yeah, you come for a couple hours and you're 210 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 3: only really see in your partner for a couple hours. 211 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 1: But COVID exposed to everybody. 212 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 4: And this is where I think for most of us, 213 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 4: it's time to take our trauma and know that our 214 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,079 Speaker 4: trauma can go to triumph. 215 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: Every horrible thing that ever happened. 216 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 4: To me, every trashy thing I did to myself, When 217 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 4: I brought that to counseling, to my community, to Christ 218 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,200 Speaker 4: it was like, oh, yeah, we can package that, we 219 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,320 Speaker 4: can move that, we could cut that. Oh you needed 220 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,960 Speaker 4: to learn that. And then it became the pain that 221 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 4: built the platform. And I'm just trying to go first, 222 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 4: especially in somebody who does what I do as a 223 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,640 Speaker 4: pastor or leader. We usually stand on a platform and 224 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,079 Speaker 4: tell everybody, you know, you need to work on this, 225 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 4: you can do this. And I was like, yeah, I'm 226 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 4: gonna take a different approach. I'm gonna go do it first. 227 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 4: I'm gonna go to intensive therapy. 228 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 1: Me and my wife gonna fly to Colorado for a 229 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: whole year every month and spend five days in counseling 230 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:54,680 Speaker 1: for five hours. 231 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,160 Speaker 4: We're gonna, we're gon, We're gonna work work, Oh, because 232 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 4: what's not transformed is transfer. Everybody leaving an inheritance for 233 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 4: their kids and money and cars, but they're leaving poor spiritual, emotional, 234 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 4: and mental health. So what happens when you give a 235 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,719 Speaker 4: kid who's never been seen, who's never actually known their identity, 236 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,439 Speaker 4: and who has no self worth a million dollars? 237 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 1: What do you think they're gonna do. 238 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,240 Speaker 4: They're gonna buy friends, They're gonna go out here and 239 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 4: try to numb because they don't want to feel like 240 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 4: I just think that we could do it better. 241 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:30,720 Speaker 1: I'm not saying be broke, I'm saying be rich everywhere. 242 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 5: What was your breakthrough moment that invites you to be 243 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 5: so vulnerable in this book? 244 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 1: Bro I have a son, our second son. His name 245 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,680 Speaker 1: is MJ my namesake. 246 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 4: He has autism, and me and my wife we're going 247 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 4: through the height of our ministry and our business is 248 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,200 Speaker 4: growing and everything's exploding. 249 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 1: My first book goes. 250 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 4: Number one New York Times Bestseller. I barely graduated English class, Like, 251 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:58,040 Speaker 4: I'm in a shock. And then our only son, we 252 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 4: take him to the doctor and they're like, yeah, he's 253 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,959 Speaker 4: not progressing normally. He's not talking, he's not looking anymore, 254 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 4: and he was going the right way and then just 255 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:11,320 Speaker 4: something switched. And my motor has always been, let me 256 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 4: be greater, let me be better, Let me make more money, 257 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 4: Let me do this. And I tried to do everything 258 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 4: I knew how to do, and it didn't fix nothing. 259 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 4: Getting a bigger platform, writing another book, making more money, 260 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 4: it didn't do anything. And so when my motor broke, 261 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,440 Speaker 4: it was like, what's going on. I'm watching my wife 262 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 4: slip into depression. Nothing is working, and so I was like, 263 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 4: hold on, we got to start working on this. I 264 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 4: was sitting with my mentor, Tim Ross at a crackle 265 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 4: barrel outside of Oklahoma City, and I was just telling 266 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 4: them what I was going through, and we started thinking 267 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 4: about back. 268 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 1: Over my life and he said yeah. 269 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 4: He was like, yeah, when did God's standard become lower 270 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 4: than your standard? And I was like, what are you 271 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 4: talking about. He was like, Michael, you've been telling me 272 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 4: all this stuff. You want to make better and you 273 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 4: want it to be great. You keep using this word great, great, great, 274 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 4: he said, But in the beginning, when God created the 275 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 4: heavens and the earth, he looked at it and he 276 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 4: said it's good. And then he created the stars, and 277 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,360 Speaker 4: he created the land and said you go right here, 278 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,199 Speaker 4: you go right here, created the animals. Going through the 279 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 4: whole creation, he said it's good. Then he created man 280 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 4: on the sixth day, and he said, you know what, 281 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 4: that's very good. He said, if God's standard is good, why. 282 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: Is yours great? And then he asked me this question. 283 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:28,040 Speaker 4: He said, when did you make a decision that good 284 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 4: was not good enough? And immediately I went back to 285 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:35,000 Speaker 4: twelve years old when I'm in church. My parents raised 286 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 4: us in church, and I played drums since I was young, 287 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 4: and I would go at twelve years old to the 288 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 4: choir rehearsal because my dream was to play in big church, 289 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 4: like play with the big choir, like not the youth 290 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 4: for the junior. I wanted to play and I was good, 291 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 4: and I would go every Tuesday, only twelve year old 292 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 4: there and they would never let me play. 293 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 1: They would tell me I was great. 294 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 4: They would tell me that, man, you getting so good, 295 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,400 Speaker 4: and pinched my cheeks, take all the little stuff, but 296 00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 4: they would never let me play. They probably had a 297 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 4: legitimate reason. But I remember sitting on that that maroon 298 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 4: chair in the back and deciding, I guess good is 299 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:06,680 Speaker 4: not good enough. 300 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,200 Speaker 1: I will only be great. And what ended up happening From. 301 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 4: Twelve years old to thirty five years old, I would 302 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:17,199 Speaker 4: not settle for anything good. And now I'm looking at 303 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 4: my son and he's not good. 304 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: And I couldn't. I couldn't. 305 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 4: I couldn't rationalize or reconcile what was going on in me. 306 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 4: And God was like, you're gonna have to become okay 307 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 4: with things being good. And I had to go and 308 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,680 Speaker 4: heal that twelve year old Michael to be able to 309 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 4: even raise the thirty five year old Michael and raise his. 310 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,199 Speaker 1: Son, and Bro. 311 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 4: I went on a journey, Bro to actually deal with 312 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,720 Speaker 4: the damage that was in me. And as I did that, 313 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 4: it was what did you say? My wife said, I 314 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 4: couldn't fix her either. I couldn't even relate because there 315 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 4: was so much stuff on the inside of me that 316 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:01,439 Speaker 4: I had just put success over, put money over, put 317 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:03,840 Speaker 4: all this other stuff over. And it was kind of like, yeah, 318 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 4: like we out here and man, because I went on 319 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,800 Speaker 4: this heeling journey, because I spent the money. Everybody talking 320 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:14,400 Speaker 4: about investing property, you're the only thing that is priceless. 321 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 2: I always invest in your mental wealth. 322 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,559 Speaker 1: I want you invest in yourself. 323 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 4: You got Jay's you don't even wear for three years, 324 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 4: you sitting them in boxes, and you won't even invest 325 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 4: in dealing with why your daddy left you, and you 326 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 4: you so broken over it, but you just can't even 327 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 4: communicate to nobody. And now you're raising another generation that 328 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:39,359 Speaker 4: you're there present, but you're not there present emotionally. 329 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 1: You have to start from some place you got us. 330 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 4: But that's why I went first, DJ ANDV. This is 331 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 4: why I wrote this book. This may not be my 332 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,680 Speaker 4: most popular book, but it's my most valuable book because 333 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 4: if anybody actually reads this, if anybody actually like goes 334 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 4: in it, they're gonna be like, dang, I can see myself, 335 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 4: I can see where this could happen, and maybe I'll 336 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,360 Speaker 4: take the first step, right, And that's all I'm trying 337 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,200 Speaker 4: to get somebody to do. 338 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 1: Take a first. 339 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 4: Step, Like, don't even freaking think about being this next 340 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 4: version of yourself. 341 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:14,760 Speaker 1: Just take admit that you are still. 342 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 4: Hurt from that first relationship, because you have been in 343 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 4: seventeen other relationships acting like he ain't it, I ain't this, 344 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 4: and like you're still hurt from old. 345 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 1: Boy in two thousand and eight. 346 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 5: Man, you know, that's exactly why I wrote my second book, 347 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 5: Shook on Anxiety, playing tricks on me, And that's you know, 348 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,320 Speaker 5: it was me just talking about the things I had 349 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 5: learned in therapy. But I had an actual psychiatrist, doctor 350 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 5: ishmajor in the book with me because that's what I wanted. 351 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 5: I wanted to admit that not only am I damaged, 352 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 5: I wanted to talk about my traumas, but I wanted 353 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 5: somebody to read that. 354 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 2: Book and just take a first step. 355 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 1: That's it. 356 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 4: That's it, because the first step leads to the next step, 357 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 4: and most of us have been so caught up on perfection, bro, 358 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 4: that it is jacking your whole life up. 359 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,920 Speaker 1: It's progression. Somebody may lead to the next step. 360 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 4: But if you just scutin, like if you barely like dang, 361 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 4: I just listened to the podcast and I'm gonna go 362 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 4: get the book, or I'm gonna just watch a message 363 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 4: like or I'm gonna go get Charlotte Maaine. Like, just 364 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,200 Speaker 4: take a step, because the end of the day, man, 365 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 4: you're well being, who you really. 366 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,480 Speaker 1: Want to be is available to you. 367 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 5: I love how you talk about you know how you 368 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 5: need God and therapy? Yeah, bro, you know how people 369 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,920 Speaker 5: feel like you can't have bocal. They'll say things like 370 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 5: you can't have faith in God. Faith and fear don't coexist. 371 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 2: No, I don't. 372 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 1: I don't know. 373 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 4: The first thing you gotta realize is the opposite of 374 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 4: faith is not fear. 375 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 1: The opposite of faith is love. 376 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 4: The Bible says perfect love cast out all fear. The 377 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 4: truth of the matter is most people don't know how 378 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 4: love they are by God, so that's where fear really 379 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 4: comes from. But the truth of the matter for me 380 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 4: is I've been raised in church. I'm a pastor's kid, 381 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 4: I've been around in my whole life, been at the altar, play, 382 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 4: done all the other stuff. And I believe. Me and 383 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 4: my wife believe in theology and therapy. We believe in 384 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:04,680 Speaker 4: prayer and going to a practice. We believe in worshiping 385 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,919 Speaker 4: and doing the hard work. Because the truth of the 386 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 4: matter is, many times what happens at church, at the altar, 387 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 4: in your alone time with. 388 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:16,719 Speaker 1: God is a catalyst. It's supposed to start something. 389 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,040 Speaker 4: And for years, especially in the Black Church, for many reasons, 390 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 4: like maybe because we didn't have access to things, and 391 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 4: maybe because we weren't taught about them, or maybe generationally 392 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:26,719 Speaker 4: there was a stigma on it. 393 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 1: But we act like everything happened when they prayed. No no, no, no, 394 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:30,520 Speaker 1: no no no no. 395 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 4: Everything started when they prayed, And we're supposed to continue 396 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 4: to pray, but there was some stuff that was in 397 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,400 Speaker 4: me that I had to communicate about. If you watch 398 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:44,680 Speaker 4: Jesus in the Bible, most of the miracles happened in communication. 399 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,160 Speaker 4: They weren't just like bow and then it's over. It 400 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,719 Speaker 4: was they were walking with him. He had disciples that 401 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,159 Speaker 4: walked with him like me and you sitting here that 402 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 4: was still cutting people's ears off, still backstabbing, still doing stuff. 403 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: But it was a process. 404 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:02,880 Speaker 4: I just think that church has to do a better 405 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,040 Speaker 4: job at letting people know that when you get saved, 406 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:10,560 Speaker 4: that's your spirit getting saved, but you still got this flesh, 407 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 4: and you still got this soul, the mind, willing emotions, 408 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:18,680 Speaker 4: and it has to be continually worked on. It has 409 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 4: to be continually transformed. And that's why I go to church. 410 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,800 Speaker 4: That's why I read my Bible. Because I can make 411 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 4: a good decision today and be ready to go off 412 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 4: on somebody tomorrow. I need to continually be in this 413 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:34,719 Speaker 4: process of becoming. The old folks would say sanctification the 414 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 4: process of being made holy. 415 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,359 Speaker 1: All I'm trying to do is be set apart. But 416 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,359 Speaker 1: it's a process to that. 417 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 4: And I just think, again, that's why I go back 418 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:42,800 Speaker 4: to progression, not perfection. 419 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,119 Speaker 1: That's a question, right, let's go. 420 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,359 Speaker 3: So my daughter was talking to the other day and 421 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,399 Speaker 3: she was talking about the Bible, right, yeah, And she 422 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 3: was telling me that there was a lot of things 423 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,200 Speaker 3: in the Bible that wasn't understandable to her, right, meaning 424 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 3: that she felt like the world crucifies you for certain 425 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 3: things that are in the Bible, but for other things, 426 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,119 Speaker 3: they don't crucify you as much. So for her, she 427 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:05,200 Speaker 3: was having a hard time necessarily believing as much because 428 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 3: she was like, it doesn't make sense. Yeah, and when 429 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 3: a child says it doesn't make sense, she's putting two 430 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,720 Speaker 3: and two together. So what would you say to a 431 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,119 Speaker 3: child or young adult that's reading the Bible, even adult 432 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,080 Speaker 3: that's reading the Bible, and say, hey, when you talk 433 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 3: about this in the Bible, it's kind of like it 434 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,520 Speaker 3: happens every day. But when you talk about this, it's like, 435 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, you can't do that. So what do 436 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,240 Speaker 3: you say on that effect? 437 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:28,000 Speaker 4: Number One, you cannot look at culture to be able 438 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,679 Speaker 4: to get what you need to get from the Bible. 439 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 3: So that's the first in the Bible that I cancel 440 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:37,000 Speaker 3: you forever. Do those jobs sponsors, but it's so in 441 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:37,439 Speaker 3: the Bible. 442 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 4: So the truth of the matter is the spirit of 443 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 4: the Bible is stronger than the word of the Bible, 444 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,359 Speaker 4: the letter of the Bible. And that's why I believe 445 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 4: you have to have an actual relationship with God. Because 446 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,880 Speaker 4: the Bible is the only book that you read it. 447 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 4: It'll start reading you. You'll read something like that, don't 448 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 4: feel right, and the heart of it, I believe the 449 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 4: spirit of God will speak to you, give you an 450 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,240 Speaker 4: impression on your heart, bring clarity, and I think you 451 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 4: should study to show yourself approved. There's tons of stuff 452 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:07,120 Speaker 4: in the Bible that I'd be like, dang, like whoa, Okay, 453 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,439 Speaker 4: what do I do with that? Well, this is a 454 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 4: different culture and a different time that all this stuff 455 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 4: was happening. But behind every thing that happens in the Bible, 456 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,439 Speaker 4: there's an idea, a spirit, and a meaning behind it, 457 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,919 Speaker 4: and it's finding that thing. What I would encourage your 458 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 4: daughter to do is first not just start. There's some 459 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,680 Speaker 4: parts in the Bible that if you start there, you're 460 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,760 Speaker 4: gonna be confused for the rest of your life. Start 461 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 4: with the Gospels. Go to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. 462 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 4: Just learn about Jesus. He's the fulfillment of the whole Bible. 463 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 4: So when you go to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John 464 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,159 Speaker 4: and watch how he touched people, Watch how he loved people. 465 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 4: Watch how when church people were telling him not to 466 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,320 Speaker 4: heal people, he was stepping out on days that he 467 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:47,640 Speaker 4: was not supposed to heal nobody and reaching beyond people's 468 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,600 Speaker 4: faults and seeing their needs. Learn the person of Jesus. 469 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:54,480 Speaker 4: That's what I would tell anybody. Don't go start in 470 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 4: the Old Testament trying to figure out what all the 471 00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:00,919 Speaker 4: sacrifices are in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. Just start there, because 472 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,720 Speaker 4: in the person of Jesus, he is the Word. And 473 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 4: when that word comes to life in you. And then 474 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,679 Speaker 4: tell her to watch some of my messages. Tell her 475 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,040 Speaker 4: to check in with somebody who's done the studying and 476 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 4: can break it down in another level. How does your 477 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,520 Speaker 4: daughter one twenty one? Tell her to go back and 478 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,199 Speaker 4: watch Relationship Goes by Mike Todd, like, just send it 479 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:22,640 Speaker 4: to her, and I'm telling you there, Sometimes it's harder 480 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:26,160 Speaker 4: to understand something when you approach it by yourself instead 481 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,040 Speaker 4: of approaching it with somebody who knows. 482 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,160 Speaker 1: How did your car work. All of us. 483 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,400 Speaker 4: We go to our car and we probably y'all y'all rich, 484 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 4: So y'all push a start button or don't even touch 485 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,879 Speaker 4: it and it comes on. You don't know all of 486 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,600 Speaker 4: the things that happened for that to happen. But if 487 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,199 Speaker 4: you get with a mechanic and somebody who works with that, 488 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:47,720 Speaker 4: they'll be able to say, hey, this is how this happens, 489 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,960 Speaker 4: and you come with another understanding. So I believe that 490 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 4: the Bible is something that you approach by yourself in 491 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:55,480 Speaker 4: your alone time, but you can't stay there. I had 492 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 4: to get people to help me understand that thing. And 493 00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 4: I think that's what I would tell your daughter. 494 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 5: You know, I want to go back to the theology 495 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,479 Speaker 5: in therapy thing. I got a couple of questions about that. 496 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,160 Speaker 5: My good brother, little Duval, he posted a few weeks ago. 497 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 5: He put a lot of y'all going to therapy because 498 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 5: you're avoiding God. 499 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,800 Speaker 1: No no, no, no no no. I that may be 500 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:15,679 Speaker 1: his experience. 501 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,240 Speaker 4: I think a lot of people need to go to 502 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,480 Speaker 4: therapy because of what God's shown them, and a lot 503 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:28,119 Speaker 4: of times God shows you you in situations. And I 504 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 4: will agree, I'll say this, some people are going to 505 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:35,320 Speaker 4: therapy running from God. Like I will say that because 506 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,400 Speaker 4: they need to prove that they are working on something, 507 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,160 Speaker 4: and so going to therapy paying the thing not being 508 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,600 Speaker 4: checked in just going and sitting there for an hour 509 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 4: that could make you feel good, like you check something off. 510 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,879 Speaker 4: But I do truly believe that we have been made 511 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,600 Speaker 4: by a creator and God has given people the ability 512 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,560 Speaker 4: to understand me and my wife had to do this 513 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,399 Speaker 4: thing called reprocessing. I don't know if everybody knows what 514 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,439 Speaker 4: that means, but like literally, you have to go to 515 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:06,199 Speaker 4: a situation, you have to think about that situation, and 516 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,440 Speaker 4: then you have to actually think about what you wish 517 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 4: would have happened, how it could have been different. You 518 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,840 Speaker 4: got to retrain the pathways in your brain to be 519 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 4: able to see here feel something different. 520 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,600 Speaker 1: And God made us that unique, and so I believe 521 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: it's both. 522 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,800 Speaker 4: And I believe there are some people that will go 523 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,919 Speaker 4: to therapy running from God, and I think there are 524 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,679 Speaker 4: some people that go to God running from therapy. 525 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:32,639 Speaker 1: Do I think everybody needs therapy? 526 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 4: Yes, the Bible says that there is wisdom in the 527 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 4: multitude of counselors. I don't think that everybody just needs 528 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:45,040 Speaker 4: therapy for their emotional stuff. They need therapy for their finances. 529 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,959 Speaker 4: I got counselors for my finances. I got counselors from 530 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,560 Speaker 4: my relationship. I got counselors. If the Bible says there's 531 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:56,440 Speaker 4: wisdom in the multitude of counselors, like you need, you 532 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,880 Speaker 4: need therapy and just how to respond sometimes to your key, 533 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 4: It's like, I mean, we were all raised differently, but 534 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 4: sometimes especially in our community, like the hand the embarrassing 535 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,600 Speaker 4: our kids be raising our kids, A lot of that 536 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:13,960 Speaker 4: stuff is just because it happened to us, and we've 537 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,080 Speaker 4: never admitted how much that jacked us up. So then 538 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:17,960 Speaker 4: we try to do it to the next generation and 539 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,960 Speaker 4: see like and then and play it like it's good parenting. 540 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,480 Speaker 4: All I'm saying is maybe you need to talk to somebody, 541 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 4: like maybe you actually need to communicate what being embarrassed 542 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,800 Speaker 4: in the grocery store actually did to you and why 543 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,679 Speaker 4: you all puffed up every time anybody tries to correct you. 544 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,320 Speaker 5: I think the issue with mental and spiritual therapy is 545 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 5: if we could actually look at it the way we 546 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,119 Speaker 5: look at physical therapy, we'd have a different we'd have 547 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,119 Speaker 5: a different mindset on it. 548 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 2: Because my arm breaks, I know I need to go. 549 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:49,960 Speaker 2: My mom can pray over it. 550 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,359 Speaker 5: Yes, I can go to church and everything, but I 551 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:52,359 Speaker 5: still got to go to a document. 552 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,359 Speaker 4: And it's not that just like you get the surgery, 553 00:24:56,040 --> 00:25:01,720 Speaker 4: but then after it heals, you have to do why 554 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:04,240 Speaker 4: because I'm trying to get it not just back to 555 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,840 Speaker 4: where it was, I'm trying to get it stronger than 556 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,960 Speaker 4: it was, like so that it doesn't And they tell 557 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,399 Speaker 4: you if it breaks in that place and you actually 558 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,720 Speaker 4: do the therapy, it's a very small chance. 559 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 1: That'll ever break there. Again, it's not that nothing else 560 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:19,000 Speaker 1: will break. 561 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 4: But because you broke it there, you were damaged, you 562 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,840 Speaker 4: did the work, you healed, and then you did the therapy, 563 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 4: you actually don't even have to worry about that area 564 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,760 Speaker 4: no more. And I agree with you, Charle Magne. That's 565 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 4: the coldest thing I think I heard you say in 566 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:35,160 Speaker 4: a year. 567 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 1: Like. 568 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:40,879 Speaker 4: If people would view the emotional healing they need like 569 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 4: a physical healing, everybody would do the work. 570 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,639 Speaker 3: But you know the problem is the problem is is 571 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 3: like what you said before, it's learned behavior. Yes, sir, 572 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,280 Speaker 3: like most of our parents no didn't go to therapy, 573 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 3: and if they did, never told us like that was 574 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 3: grown up business. 575 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,480 Speaker 1: We didn't know about it. To this day. 576 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,440 Speaker 4: I love my parents, but it still is a thing 577 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 4: like you going to therapy, And again I haven't been able. 578 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,960 Speaker 4: I'm not a therapist to the nation her Mama, Ma, Mama. 579 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,679 Speaker 4: As many times as we was telling them we were 580 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,560 Speaker 4: going to therapy, it almost seemed like a shot. 581 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:15,159 Speaker 1: It's a problem, just wrong with most people did. 582 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 4: But the truth of the matter is both of our 583 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:19,760 Speaker 4: parents as well as many of our parents have had 584 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,840 Speaker 4: health issues. When they have to go get glasses, when 585 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 4: they have to wear a boot, when they have to 586 00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,640 Speaker 4: do anything to get back to the vision they were 587 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,240 Speaker 4: once at, nobody says anything. 588 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,400 Speaker 1: We spend money, we raise money. 589 00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:33,560 Speaker 4: We use insurance, we do all of those things to 590 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,000 Speaker 4: get back to a place we were. Why wouldn't we 591 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:41,200 Speaker 4: since we've been damaged since five ten, seventeen twenty six, 592 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 4: why wouldn't we do everything we can? And that's why 593 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,880 Speaker 4: when I wrote this book, I knew that I had 594 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:52,640 Speaker 4: to do something that most people, specifically in a pastoring role, 595 00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,800 Speaker 4: a shepherd over people, or anybody that's doing this in 596 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:01,199 Speaker 4: twenty twenty three, that's too much ammunition for somebody to 597 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,080 Speaker 4: be able to discredit me. 598 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:04,880 Speaker 1: My freedom was more important. 599 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 5: How do you know when to bring your pain to 600 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 5: a therapist and when you bring your pain to God? 601 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,760 Speaker 4: I think you bring all your pain to God. I 602 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:18,040 Speaker 4: don't think the Bible says cast all your cares up 603 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 4: on him because he cares for you. It says take 604 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:24,159 Speaker 4: on the easy yoke and the easy burden that he 605 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,880 Speaker 4: has traded him for that. I take everything to God. 606 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,800 Speaker 4: I acknowledge God in all my ways. He will direct 607 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,119 Speaker 4: my path. He directed my path to therapy. Bro't. I 608 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,119 Speaker 4: was the pastor. I was the crazy faith God. I 609 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 4: was like, Yo, we're gonna pray, We're gonna believe. And 610 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:38,680 Speaker 4: God was like, no, you're gonna sit your butt down 611 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:39,720 Speaker 4: and talk to an old white lady. 612 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,320 Speaker 1: What like, let's just let's shout. And he was like, no, 613 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:48,960 Speaker 1: you need to cry. Like I mean, I haven't cried. 614 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:53,199 Speaker 4: I can count on my hands how many times I 615 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:58,359 Speaker 4: have cried as a grown man. That's not okay. My 616 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,240 Speaker 4: body needs to relieve. He stows emotions and that stuff. 617 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,120 Speaker 4: But I had not been taught how to do that 618 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 4: and just how I needed to be taught how to drive, 619 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 4: taught how to run a business, taught how to actually 620 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,439 Speaker 4: be a husband. I needed to be taught how to 621 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,439 Speaker 4: be able to deal with my emotions. And it was 622 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 4: almost like I was seeing in black and white. The 623 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,160 Speaker 4: reason the cover of the book is black and white 624 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 4: is because that's why I was living. Even though I 625 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:27,680 Speaker 4: was smiling. It was black and white. Now like how 626 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,360 Speaker 4: I live now, what God's done in my heart? Now, 627 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:32,640 Speaker 4: how I can love this woman now, the four kids 628 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,800 Speaker 4: that I'm raising, the people I can affect now, bro, it's. 629 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:39,240 Speaker 1: Three D H D color. And was it hard? Hell? 630 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,959 Speaker 4: Yes, Like it took a lot to keep showing up 631 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 4: and to keep paying for it. Come on, let's be 632 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,640 Speaker 4: for real, Like when you start seeing that tax like 633 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 4: you like, oh shoot. 634 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 1: But was it worth it? 635 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 4: I'm telling you right now it was the greatest investment 636 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 4: that I've ever made in myself. And I couldn't keep 637 00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,680 Speaker 4: it to myself. I could have wrote another book, I 638 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:01,680 Speaker 4: could have done something, but God was like, nah, you 639 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 4: need to You got to share this because there's more 640 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,960 Speaker 4: people who are damaged and they need to know they're 641 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:06,600 Speaker 4: not destroyed. 642 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,480 Speaker 2: What there untransferred wounds. 643 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:17,000 Speaker 4: It's the stuff that you said untransferred rooms. The truth 644 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:21,440 Speaker 4: of the matter is every wound that you get has 645 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:25,200 Speaker 4: the ability to transfer to somebody else in your actions 646 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,880 Speaker 4: or in your non actions. And that's why I said earlier, 647 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,560 Speaker 4: what's not transformed, its transferred. You got a lot of 648 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 4: your mom and daddy and you that they didn't give 649 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:40,680 Speaker 4: you directly like they they gave it to you because 650 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:44,000 Speaker 4: you received it the way that you handle issues, the 651 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 4: way that you go through stuff. We got a lot 652 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,400 Speaker 4: of stuff because they didn't handle it. I'll give a 653 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 4: prime example. I tell it in the book. I had 654 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 4: a pornography addiction. I mean jacked the taking my money, 655 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 4: my mind, my focus. 656 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,240 Speaker 1: Oh bro free. 657 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, back in the day, you know when okay, come 658 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,120 Speaker 4: on now, don't act like you did in three ninety nine. 659 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:06,360 Speaker 1: Sometimes come on now. 660 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,960 Speaker 4: And if you was buying magazines or if you're doing anything, 661 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 4: come on, let's be honest. It was robbing me. And 662 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,240 Speaker 4: the money was the least part of it. Well, I'm 663 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 4: going through this whole thing by myself. I'm suffering, like, 664 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,600 Speaker 4: still trying to pray, still trying to love God, still 665 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,640 Speaker 4: trying to And if somebody's like the pastor I tell 666 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 4: it every Sunday, don't even trip like because we out here, 667 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,960 Speaker 4: every man is actually struggling with something. Okay, I'm out 668 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,840 Speaker 4: here addicted, trying to do what I've been called to do. 669 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,040 Speaker 4: After I actually start going through the process of healing 670 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:41,400 Speaker 4: and making decisions and making disciplines and being accountable and 671 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 4: all this other stuff, I find out my dad he 672 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 4: was a drum major for Gramlin State University. And he said, 673 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,120 Speaker 4: they came to New York. It's crazy, I'm in New 674 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 4: York right now. They came to New York and there 675 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 4: was a street back in the day. Now, this back 676 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,120 Speaker 4: back in the day where they had peep shows down 677 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:57,720 Speaker 4: the whole street. 678 00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: That's forty second Street. Okay, so he. 679 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 4: Knows the street, forty street. And he said, back in 680 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,920 Speaker 4: the day, they got here on the bus, and he said, 681 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:10,120 Speaker 4: he got a pocket full of quarters, and you could 682 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 4: go and you could put the thing, the money in 683 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 4: the machine, and then the curtain would open and you 684 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 4: see naked women. Back in the day, that was the 685 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:24,240 Speaker 4: equivalent of pornography, he said. After I told him what 686 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,680 Speaker 4: I was going through, he said, Mike, I'm sorry, I'm 687 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 4: sorry I never told you about it. I'm sorry I 688 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,960 Speaker 4: never dealt with it publicly. I'm sorry that I did this, 689 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 4: he said, because I had five sons, and every single 690 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,959 Speaker 4: one of my brothers and me dealt with the sexual 691 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:46,959 Speaker 4: addiction because what was not transformed in him was transferred 692 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,800 Speaker 4: into us, and all of us had to deal with 693 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 4: it in another level. And that's what he told me. 694 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:54,440 Speaker 4: So I don't know the extent of it. I don't 695 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,320 Speaker 4: know how it affected him and my mom. 696 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 1: I don't know. 697 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,800 Speaker 4: I mean, you know, when you're telling somebody something, at 698 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:00,400 Speaker 4: the end, it's like you tell him what part you 699 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,480 Speaker 4: think they can handle. But I know there was real 700 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,480 Speaker 4: things there because now I'm a man raising four kids. 701 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,800 Speaker 2: How do you know you have a sexual addictional? A man, 702 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,200 Speaker 2: you're supposed to have a healthy sexual affect. 703 00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:11,240 Speaker 4: Definitely, you're supposed to have a said, God gave it 704 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,760 Speaker 4: to you the truth of the man, women from the earth, 705 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,200 Speaker 4: women of God and of God. But God, all the 706 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 4: greatest creation, Oh the best the creation. You see mine 707 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,560 Speaker 4: back there, Glory to the most High God. The problem 708 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:30,680 Speaker 4: is the problem is our human nature is leans to 709 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:34,400 Speaker 4: over indulgence. I mean, I'm talking about just in a 710 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,400 Speaker 4: Krispy Kreme doumb not. I mean, you don't even have 711 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 4: to you're not even hungry, But if somebody puts some 712 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:41,160 Speaker 4: hot Krispy creams on. 713 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:45,680 Speaker 1: The table and before you know it, six of them. 714 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,800 Speaker 4: Jesus, like before you didn't even feel like it was 715 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 4: and you're still not full. What happens when you eat 716 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:56,200 Speaker 4: what's going to go against what you need and you're 717 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:57,160 Speaker 4: still not fool. 718 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,400 Speaker 2: What if you're pouring all of that into your woman, 719 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:01,440 Speaker 2: wife beautiful? 720 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,719 Speaker 1: I think all of that is beautiful. There is nothing 721 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:05,320 Speaker 1: wrong with that. 722 00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:06,920 Speaker 4: The truth of the matter is if you pour it 723 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:08,880 Speaker 4: all into your wife and you still need it from 724 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,720 Speaker 4: the people at your job, and you still need it 725 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:17,320 Speaker 4: from that app and you still need it, I'm not 726 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:21,760 Speaker 4: saying within the confines of marriage as well as from 727 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,040 Speaker 4: my belief in confines and marriage, nothing's off limits. But 728 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 4: that y'all agree on. The truth of the matter is 729 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,680 Speaker 4: people think that the addiction get solved when they get married. 730 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:36,600 Speaker 1: It never does. So there's some trauma or some drama, 731 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:37,520 Speaker 1: or some. 732 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,160 Speaker 4: Triggers that actually need to be dealt with, and everybody 733 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,440 Speaker 4: thinks it's the person that's The person's not the problem. 734 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,000 Speaker 4: It's what's in you that you have not addressed. And 735 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,120 Speaker 4: so that's why four marriages, five marriages. I don't want 736 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,240 Speaker 4: to be married no more. And you just sowing your Okay, 737 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 4: do that, but after you've done it with everybody, you 738 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,000 Speaker 4: still feel empty. 739 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:00,520 Speaker 1: How have you out? 740 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,400 Speaker 4: Everybody made whole careers about it, sung about it, and 741 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,520 Speaker 4: at the end of the day you still feel empty. 742 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 1: It can't be the sex. 743 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:10,759 Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like that's people who they trying to 744 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,239 Speaker 5: feed their ego and not they soul. 745 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,279 Speaker 1: But even if you're trying to feed your ego, where 746 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,600 Speaker 1: did that come from. Somebody didn't see you. You weren't affirmed. 747 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 4: Somewhere, you got picked over, and it's like, nah, forget that. 748 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: Everybody gonna see me now. 749 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,360 Speaker 4: And now I'm just saying that a lot of the 750 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 4: things we clapped for as the fruit has a rotten root. 751 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:34,680 Speaker 4: Because for me, all the stuff that I was doing 752 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,440 Speaker 4: and being great at and doing what nobody else was 753 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:42,120 Speaker 4: doing in my small little community, like people were applauding me, 754 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,359 Speaker 4: I was getting attention for it. 755 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,799 Speaker 1: I was gonna be great. But the truth of the 756 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,200 Speaker 1: matter is the root of it was foul. 757 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:52,040 Speaker 4: It was because I was not affirmed, I was not seen, 758 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,040 Speaker 4: and I was rejected. And until I dealt with that, 759 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:58,000 Speaker 4: everything I did, I would bro I had made more 760 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,920 Speaker 4: money than I had ever thought I was in I 761 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:01,720 Speaker 4: was doing dreams. 762 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:02,560 Speaker 1: I couldn't feel it. 763 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,560 Speaker 4: I could not feel it because I haven't dealt with 764 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:10,479 Speaker 4: my real issue. And that's why I believe God many 765 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:12,640 Speaker 4: times brings you to a place where you have nothing 766 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:16,799 Speaker 4: else so that you can find everything. And too many 767 00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:21,160 Speaker 4: people are running from that place. I actually believe everybody 768 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,759 Speaker 4: should hit rock bottom at least once, whatever that is, 769 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,480 Speaker 4: hit it, because that's where you can fall apart. And 770 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,440 Speaker 4: when you fall apart, that's when God takes all the 771 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,759 Speaker 4: pieces and he makes a masterpiece. And so many people 772 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,600 Speaker 4: are trying their hardest not to fall apart, just fall apart. 773 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 4: God does his best work with pieces of people, and 774 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:41,520 Speaker 4: then he creates masterpieces. 775 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:44,480 Speaker 2: Do you get counseling from other passes. 776 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,000 Speaker 1: Definitely people who have been in the game a lot 777 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:47,440 Speaker 1: longer than me. 778 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:52,880 Speaker 4: Yeah. Man, we had an awesome meeting for probably about 779 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,840 Speaker 4: five hours at a restaurant Tdj's. 780 00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,920 Speaker 1: He's like the og of OG's. 781 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:01,840 Speaker 4: So we met and it was like in this secret 782 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,680 Speaker 4: building that was unmarked and we went up and like 783 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 4: you hit the floor and it's like a restaurant. 784 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,359 Speaker 1: I'm like where am I was. 785 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,640 Speaker 4: Like me and with the Godfather, you know, under saying yeah, 786 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,239 Speaker 4: and I'm like, I'm like, what is going on? 787 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,719 Speaker 1: And that man just begin to pour into me. 788 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:21,800 Speaker 4: I love TD Jake's as just somebody who talks even 789 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:22,640 Speaker 4: more than preaching. 790 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:26,400 Speaker 1: If you ever get to just talk to him. 791 00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:32,360 Speaker 4: It is like and that mentorship, mentorship from Tim Ross, 792 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:36,839 Speaker 4: mentorship from Robert Morris, mentorship from Steven Ferdick, mentorship from 793 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:42,960 Speaker 4: all Like, it's invaluable what you learn from people who've 794 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:43,680 Speaker 4: been damaged. 795 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,200 Speaker 2: Me and Stephen from the same hometown, no monks going 796 00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 2: to South Carolina. 797 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,960 Speaker 4: Bro, I just preached for him two weeks ago. Yeah, 798 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,399 Speaker 4: I'm pretty Charlotte two weeks ago. 799 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,360 Speaker 5: And my wife because I was already kicked out of 800 00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:55,719 Speaker 5: school by then, but him and my wife went to 801 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:56,560 Speaker 5: high school together. 802 00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:57,040 Speaker 1: Bro. 803 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:01,000 Speaker 4: It's it's it's it's invaluable what you can learn from 804 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,920 Speaker 4: somebody who will share from their damage. 805 00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:04,960 Speaker 1: And that's what all of those men did. Like if 806 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,920 Speaker 1: I think about it right now, like I'm thinking you 807 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:10,760 Speaker 1: call it mentoring, but all mentor mentoring it really is, 808 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,560 Speaker 1: is people showing you where they messed up, where they 809 00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:16,400 Speaker 1: should have done it differently, sharing from their damage, and 810 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 1: it helps push you into your desk. 811 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,440 Speaker 2: Was this after the spit incident. 812 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:24,279 Speaker 4: No, bro, that was before. Okay, I'm the spit hits 813 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:25,439 Speaker 4: the fan. That's what I call it. 814 00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:27,000 Speaker 1: Break it down. People don't know. 815 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,560 Speaker 3: I know we reported a long time ago. 816 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 2: It was smearing spin on your brother's fit. I don't 817 00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,120 Speaker 2: even remember what it was. Your point. 818 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,560 Speaker 5: Think about how that was back then, how everybody had 819 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,640 Speaker 5: you in the storm talking about I don't even remember 820 00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:39,359 Speaker 5: what it yes. 821 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:43,319 Speaker 4: So I did an example at my church. I'm first off, 822 00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,280 Speaker 4: let me say this. I am not a regular preacher, 823 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,719 Speaker 4: like when I say a regular preacher like, I was 824 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,520 Speaker 4: bored in church. And so when God called me to preach, 825 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,800 Speaker 4: I was like, all right, I'm gonna actually use everything 826 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,960 Speaker 4: that I have to help people get it. And so 827 00:37:56,040 --> 00:38:00,000 Speaker 4: I tell stories, I use examples, and honestly, I'm doing 828 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,759 Speaker 4: everything how Virgil Ablo said for my seventeen year old self. 829 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,080 Speaker 4: Most seventeen year olds they don't care nothing about church. 830 00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 4: They're trying to see the girl with the booty and 831 00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,000 Speaker 4: go eat and go play with it. So I'm trying 832 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:13,040 Speaker 4: to like capture. So I've always used examples and stuff 833 00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,640 Speaker 4: like that. And so there's this story in the Bible 834 00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:20,120 Speaker 4: where Jesus basically heals a man by spitting on his 835 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:23,120 Speaker 4: hand and putting on his face. And so this is 836 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:26,080 Speaker 4: an example I'd done three times before. And this is 837 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,480 Speaker 4: what my blood little brother. This is not some random 838 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,560 Speaker 4: audience member or anything like this. Now, this is a 839 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:34,080 Speaker 4: brother we fought blood like, this is my little brother. 840 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,080 Speaker 4: And he wanted to do the example with me so 841 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:40,200 Speaker 4: I could show it. And the whole idea was, like, 842 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:44,440 Speaker 4: many people will not be willing to go through a 843 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 4: messy process to get their healing. So the idea was, 844 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:51,600 Speaker 4: this man was blind, he wasn't deaf. So if Jesus 845 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,960 Speaker 4: is about to spit, he's standing there in front of 846 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,439 Speaker 4: Jesus and he can hear. Like if you hear somebody 847 00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,680 Speaker 4: about the Huckalua, you're like, oh my god. 848 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:00,879 Speaker 1: And I was trying to. 849 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:05,120 Speaker 4: Say, as disgusting as this is, that man stayed there 850 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,480 Speaker 4: and he received something that nobody else could give him. 851 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,840 Speaker 4: And as I was saying that, I said, maybe you 852 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:14,040 Speaker 4: the counseling would be messy for you, Maybe apologizing would 853 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:17,120 Speaker 4: be messing for you. Maybe downsizing your house would be 854 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,239 Speaker 4: messy for you. After you've put on this whole thing 855 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,920 Speaker 4: about how God blessed you but what if on the 856 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,400 Speaker 4: other side of this mess was your healing? And I 857 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:29,160 Speaker 4: did the example. It worked too well, and by that 858 00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:33,839 Speaker 4: night we was on DMZ, CNN, next morning, Breakfast Club, 859 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:37,240 Speaker 4: all that other stuff, and it was somebody was saying 860 00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,040 Speaker 4: to me the other day there was like, do you 861 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,200 Speaker 4: wish it wouldn't have happened? I was like, honestly no, 862 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:46,279 Speaker 4: I was like, it shocked me. But what I had 863 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:50,120 Speaker 4: to deal with internally and what I had to become 864 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:54,680 Speaker 4: okay with inside of me because of that situation, it 865 00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,399 Speaker 4: made me into a man that I would have never 866 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:57,960 Speaker 4: met had it not happened. 867 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:00,239 Speaker 2: Go. 868 00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:04,000 Speaker 1: I mean, for me, it changed my whole view of 869 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,279 Speaker 1: who I was called to reach and how much I 870 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:08,600 Speaker 1: needed anybody's applause. 871 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,040 Speaker 5: I was the only reason I even bought it up, 872 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,000 Speaker 5: because I felt like you was getting subbed a lot 873 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:13,560 Speaker 5: by other. 874 00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:15,520 Speaker 1: Pastors doing Yeah it was beautiful. 875 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like a lot of other pastors was 876 00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:20,720 Speaker 2: like trying to call you out. Would not say your name. 877 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:23,680 Speaker 4: They don't got my cell phone number, they ain't text me, 878 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:26,920 Speaker 4: they didn't show up. And this is the beautiful thing 879 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:33,360 Speaker 4: about people like for many years it was up and 880 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,520 Speaker 4: to the right. Everything about what we were doing. This 881 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,759 Speaker 4: was the first opportunity for somebody to take a hit, 882 00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:42,359 Speaker 4: and some people tried. But when God calls you, you 883 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:43,400 Speaker 4: can't cancel somebody. 884 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,279 Speaker 5: And that's why I was That's why I asked you, you know, 885 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,080 Speaker 5: who's your mentorship, because I felt like it's good to 886 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,120 Speaker 5: know that there were other pastors who weren't saying, oh, 887 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:51,799 Speaker 5: you're not gonna talk about the brother I'm a. 888 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:54,240 Speaker 2: I had people who. 889 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,839 Speaker 4: Pulled up on me, I had people who put their 890 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:57,600 Speaker 4: arm around me. 891 00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,080 Speaker 1: But that's what we're supposed to do. 892 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:00,920 Speaker 4: If you said, if you say you my brother, if 893 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:02,680 Speaker 4: you say you my sister, if you say we down, 894 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,520 Speaker 4: that means nothing on the mountaintop. It only means something 895 00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,719 Speaker 4: in the valley. And so I'm grateful for all the 896 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,239 Speaker 4: men and women and people who rode with us through 897 00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:17,160 Speaker 4: that storm. Because if you're doing anything, anything of significance. 898 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,960 Speaker 1: You gonna have in moments, it don't matter who you are. 899 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:22,520 Speaker 4: And so we walked through it, and God has changed 900 00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:26,600 Speaker 4: me in the process because I wasn't trying to combat anything. 901 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:28,920 Speaker 1: What is this exposing about me? 902 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:32,360 Speaker 4: And thank God I was in therapy, thank God I 903 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,680 Speaker 4: had community, thank God, and the crazy thing is I 904 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,439 Speaker 4: had finished writing this book, so it wasn't even gonna 905 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,080 Speaker 4: be in the book. And God was like, I'm gonna 906 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:43,520 Speaker 4: give you a live example of what this looks like 907 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:46,000 Speaker 4: to be damaged but not destroyed. So I had to 908 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,800 Speaker 4: go back and re edit the book. Chapter two or 909 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:50,880 Speaker 4: three is when the spit hits the fan, and I 910 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:54,240 Speaker 4: walked through how the whole situation because I'm gonna use everything. 911 00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,880 Speaker 4: I'm gonna die empty, man, if it happens to me 912 00:41:57,960 --> 00:41:59,520 Speaker 4: and God can get glory out of it, I'm gonna 913 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:03,040 Speaker 4: use all it. No, bro, if we're supposed to be 914 00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:06,520 Speaker 4: defined by our worst moments, then everybody jacked up. But 915 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:09,120 Speaker 4: if we can take our worst moments give it to God, 916 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,880 Speaker 4: he can flip that thing and turn it into something beautiful. 917 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,000 Speaker 1: That's not about me, that's about him. 918 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,000 Speaker 5: That used to be what the world was about. I mean, 919 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,520 Speaker 5: I guess I still that is what the world is. Yeah, 920 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,680 Speaker 5: I can't let social media make me think of we Well, 921 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:24,080 Speaker 5: the truth of the matter is it just doesn't get as. 922 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:25,239 Speaker 1: Many clips, that's right, right. 923 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,440 Speaker 4: A few weeks before this, our church has been a 924 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:33,239 Speaker 4: generous church to nonprofits organizations sex trafficking. I started in 925 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:36,279 Speaker 4: the hood of Tassa, Oklahoma, where right up the street 926 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,640 Speaker 4: from where the Race massacres happened in nineteen twenty one. 927 00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:40,120 Speaker 1: Like, that's where my church was. 928 00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:43,200 Speaker 4: And God somehow took that from a three hundred member 929 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,160 Speaker 4: church to a large church that's effecting the world. Well, 930 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,359 Speaker 4: part of that was I'm not gonna be a church 931 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,759 Speaker 4: that just has resources and we're not gonna really give 932 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,319 Speaker 4: Prior to the spit hitting the Fan incident, Charlem Mayne, 933 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,360 Speaker 4: we gave away in one year eight million dollars with 934 00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:03,120 Speaker 4: no strings attached. Wow, not one news report, not one clip. 935 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,160 Speaker 4: Our local news didn't even cover it. Did y'all put 936 00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:11,560 Speaker 4: out a press release about that? Uh eight million dollars. 937 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:15,879 Speaker 4: We even took the three surviving. Now there's only two 938 00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:21,239 Speaker 4: people who survived the Race Massacres massacres, and we brought 939 00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:25,280 Speaker 4: them on Juneteenth. And because they've not received reparations from anybody, 940 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:28,839 Speaker 4: not Oklahoma, not not the government anything, we gave them 941 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,040 Speaker 4: each two hundred thousand dollars with no strings attacking. 942 00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:36,320 Speaker 1: I know, But the truth of the matter is that's 943 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,760 Speaker 1: not what people desire to feed on. Hope. 944 00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:44,120 Speaker 4: They desire to feed on people's failures. And so until 945 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,600 Speaker 4: we actually do the inner work. Why the question is why, 946 00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:51,520 Speaker 4: why does the Will and Jada thing make us feel 947 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:52,319 Speaker 4: better about us? 948 00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:54,879 Speaker 5: Because our relationships with jacked that, but we're not living 949 00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:55,560 Speaker 5: them out alive like. 950 00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:56,799 Speaker 2: They step away from the mic. 951 00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:02,839 Speaker 4: Why does potentially seeing somebody lose their money make you 952 00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,560 Speaker 4: feel Why? It's because at the end of the day, 953 00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,759 Speaker 4: there's something in you that is not satisfied, not fulfilled, 954 00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:12,080 Speaker 4: and so seeing what happens with made the Stallion and 955 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,560 Speaker 4: Tory Lanez and seeing what happens with this pastor who falls, 956 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:19,040 Speaker 4: and seeing what happened it just makes us temporarily not 957 00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,959 Speaker 4: think about how we need to do some work. 958 00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:23,600 Speaker 1: And that's why the Bible. 959 00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:25,960 Speaker 4: Says, like before you pull that whole log out, that 960 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,359 Speaker 4: speckle out of your brother's eye, you need to get 961 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:30,799 Speaker 4: that tree log out of your own. And right now 962 00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:33,480 Speaker 4: it's very easy not to even look at yourself because 963 00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:34,680 Speaker 4: I can look at everybody else. 964 00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:39,960 Speaker 2: Man, damaged. What do you hope people get from this book? Man? 965 00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:43,200 Speaker 4: I believe that if you read this book and actually 966 00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:46,520 Speaker 4: do the work that's in here. I tell people this 967 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,640 Speaker 4: all the time, it may not have been your fault. 968 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,919 Speaker 4: What happened to you but it is now your responsibility. 969 00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:53,120 Speaker 4: It's time to do the work. 970 00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:55,400 Speaker 1: And I'm just I'm just. 971 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:58,239 Speaker 4: Here to say I've had to do the work in 972 00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:01,400 Speaker 4: front of people, like with one hundreds of thousand people's 973 00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,040 Speaker 4: watching me, judging me all this stuff. You can do 974 00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:07,560 Speaker 4: this work, no matter where you are, how much money 975 00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:11,120 Speaker 4: you have, what your family thinks about it. You will 976 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:14,840 Speaker 4: become a different person that will be able to actually 977 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,280 Speaker 4: be a blessing to other people. 978 00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:18,920 Speaker 1: The healed version of you. 979 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,080 Speaker 4: Is better than the version of you that you have 980 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:24,160 Speaker 4: right now if you do the work, if you actually 981 00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:24,480 Speaker 4: do it. 982 00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:27,120 Speaker 1: Let me just say it like this. 983 00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:31,480 Speaker 4: I dedicated this book to my great grandkids in the 984 00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:36,640 Speaker 4: dedication now my oldest daughter's ten, and I dedicated it 985 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,400 Speaker 4: because the Bible says a good man leaves. 986 00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:40,920 Speaker 1: An inheritance for his children's children. 987 00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:43,400 Speaker 4: And yes, I want to leave them houses, Yes I 988 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:46,040 Speaker 4: want to leave them investments, but I want to leave 989 00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:49,280 Speaker 4: them emotional health. I pray one day my grandson picks 990 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:53,400 Speaker 4: this book up and is able to say, my Grandpapa 991 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,279 Speaker 4: dealt with his stuff. And I know I'm struggling right 992 00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:59,319 Speaker 4: now because life be lifing and everybody's going to go 993 00:45:59,360 --> 00:45:59,680 Speaker 4: through it. 994 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,200 Speaker 2: God be God, but. 995 00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:04,200 Speaker 4: God be God, and therapy be be therapy. And that's 996 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,600 Speaker 4: why let me show you. I don't know what camera 997 00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,920 Speaker 4: I can look into right here the back of it, 998 00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:09,960 Speaker 4: but it's a double cover. 999 00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,360 Speaker 1: The front is me smiling, that's the triumph. 1000 00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:16,000 Speaker 4: But the back of it is me, my dad, my 1001 00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:20,960 Speaker 4: four brothers, and my son. This this is a picture 1002 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,480 Speaker 4: of all of us. It looks like me, but it's 1003 00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:26,640 Speaker 4: all of us. Because your damage affects every person. 1004 00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:29,719 Speaker 1: You say you love it. So if you want to 1005 00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:32,799 Speaker 1: do the work, join me damage, but not to shore. 1006 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,880 Speaker 5: If we can pass on generational uh you know, traumas, 1007 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,799 Speaker 5: we can definitely pass on generational blessed. 1008 00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,680 Speaker 4: Bro, you just said it, and and take it from 1009 00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:46,480 Speaker 4: blessing generational healing, Like what happens if the greatest thing 1010 00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,680 Speaker 4: I could give to the next generation is how to 1011 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:50,640 Speaker 4: deal with their issues? 1012 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:55,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, cause, Father, we just thank you. 1013 00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:59,160 Speaker 4: For this opportunity to be here, to be in this moment, 1014 00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:02,480 Speaker 4: to be with you you, for everybody listening, and with 1015 00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,120 Speaker 4: my four brothers in the room. I thank you Father 1016 00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:08,719 Speaker 4: that something was said here that sparks their faith to 1017 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,879 Speaker 4: believe that you can help them deal with their damage. God, 1018 00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:16,560 Speaker 4: we got different relationships, different responsibilities, different pains, different hurts, 1019 00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:20,200 Speaker 4: but God, you know them all. I thank you that 1020 00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:23,640 Speaker 4: by faith, something is about to change on the inside 1021 00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:26,479 Speaker 4: of every person under the sound of my voice, bring 1022 00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:28,759 Speaker 4: back a moment, a memory of reason. 1023 00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,480 Speaker 1: Why they need to make this step. 1024 00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:32,800 Speaker 4: And I thank you that no matter what has happened 1025 00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:36,239 Speaker 4: to them, no matter how bad or how good, I 1026 00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:38,080 Speaker 4: thank you that you can take our trauma and you 1027 00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,279 Speaker 4: can turn it into triumph. You can take our pain 1028 00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:42,719 Speaker 4: and you can turn it into platform. Father, I thank 1029 00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:44,920 Speaker 4: you for all the people who are damaged but not destroyed. 1030 00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,120 Speaker 4: Bless them, is my prayer in Jesus name. 1031 00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:47,560 Speaker 1: We agree. 1032 00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:51,440 Speaker 3: Amen, Amen, ladies and gentlemen. Pastor Mike time, we appreciate you. 1033 00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:53,360 Speaker 4: Brother, Hey, bro, we can make this maybe like a 1034 00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:57,799 Speaker 4: monthly thing. Let's make it happen. I appreciate y'all. 1035 00:47:57,880 --> 00:47:58,719 Speaker 1: It's the breakfast Club. 1036 00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,840 Speaker 2: Good morning. To add something ear in the morning. The 1037 00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:02,800 Speaker 2: Breakfast Club 1038 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:07,040 Speaker 3: H