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Speaker 1: I've literally attained and accomplished any everything that a musician

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Speaker 1: could dream to attain, and so I had to look

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Speaker 1: myself in the mirror and say why. And I've purposefully

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Speaker 1: slowed down so that I can focus on my mental

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Speaker 1: and physical health, so that I can focus on being

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Speaker 1: there for my child and my wife, and that I

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Speaker 1: can love and enjoy this life and this house that

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Speaker 1: I've spent the last seventeen years of my life building,

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Speaker 1: and it is terrified Jane. Everyone, welcome back to On Purpose,

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Speaker 1: the number one health podcasts in the world. Thanks to

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Speaker 1: each and every single one of you that come back

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Speaker 1: every week to listen, learn and grow. Now, this has

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Speaker 1: been a year where we've been so fortunate to sit

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Speaker 1: down with some incredible artists to share their stories, and

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Speaker 1: they've opened up vulnerably, and you've responded as a community

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Speaker 1: by sharing those episodes, loving those conversations. And today's guest

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Speaker 1: is someone that I've wanted to speak to you for

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Speaker 1: a long time. I've been fan of his music, been

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Speaker 1: a fan of his flobe, been a fan of his lyrics,

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Speaker 1: and today we're talking about his brand new book, which

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Speaker 1: I'll introduce you to in a moment. But I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about none other than Bobby Hall aka Logic, a Grammy nominated,

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Speaker 1: platinum selling recording artist, author, actors, streamer, and film producer.

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Speaker 1: In addition to his three number one albums, ten platinum singles,

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Speaker 1: and billions of streams, holds debut book Supermarket made him

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Speaker 1: the first hip hop artist to have a number one

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Speaker 1: New York Times best selling novel, and today his new

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Speaker 1: book that we're talking about is called This Bright Future

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Speaker 1: by Bobby Hall. Bobby, thank you so much for making

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Speaker 1: the time. Dude. That was the coolest intro every It

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Speaker 1: feels so cool now, thank you. That's very kind. It was.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's a great intro because it's all true,

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Speaker 1: and so I feel like if the intro was called

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Speaker 1: and the life must be really cool because you had

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Speaker 1: to live it to make it real for sure. But

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Speaker 1: we were just we were talking about this before. The

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Speaker 1: only time we've ever met is when we bumped into

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Speaker 1: each other at an airport, which I because I saw you,

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Speaker 1: I already knew who you were, and so when you

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Speaker 1: came up to me, I was like, this is so cool, man,

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Speaker 1: Logic stopping me at an airport. But you can finish

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Speaker 1: the rest of the story. Yeah, dude, I thought it

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Speaker 1: was really awesome. And uh, and my security guard as also,

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Speaker 1: he's just a huge fan of yours. His name is Pepe.

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Speaker 1: He's literally freaking out right now, say what's up? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: hey Pepe, what's up? Yeah? Oh man, he's so he

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Speaker 1: loves you. Man who doesn't. And so yeah, I just

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Speaker 1: I just saw it as a really cool opportunity to

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Speaker 1: say hello and then use him as a scapegoat to

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Speaker 1: also say hello. Really it was really cool. No, that's awesome, man,

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Speaker 1: And lots of love to Pepe. But also I was

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Speaker 1: a huge fan, and so it was nice to always

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Speaker 1: just maybe it's always nice to just bump into someone

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Speaker 1: in a very you know, natural way. This was obviously

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Speaker 1: pre pandemic well, when we were all flying and moving around.

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Speaker 1: But I wanted to start off just by asking you, like,

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Speaker 1: what's this time been for you? Has this been a

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Speaker 1: time of deep creativity and exploration? Has it been relaxing?

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Speaker 1: I know you just became a father as well last year,

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Speaker 1: Like what's this time being like for you personally? And

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Speaker 1: it's kind of been a culmination of all those things

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Speaker 1: for sure. So I had planned to take off twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty anyway, just to be there for my baby because

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Speaker 1: that's when he was born in February, and my wife

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Speaker 1: and just really for the first time in my life

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Speaker 1: kind of slow down, which I'd never done in my

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Speaker 1: entire career. So I got a little lucky in that

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Speaker 1: sense where I didn't have some big tour planned and

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Speaker 1: have to cancel it and financially be dealing with, you know,

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Speaker 1: situations that I'm glad I didn't run into, so that

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Speaker 1: was nice. But also at the same time, it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm constantly working. I was literally like they were like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you got four minutes. I'm upstairs like polishing the script

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Speaker 1: that I'm gonna shoot next year, which I'm really excited

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Speaker 1: to work on, and so I'm constantly working. My biggest

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Speaker 1: thing is balanced, I think, you know, searching for balance

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Speaker 1: and trying to find balance is well, it's impossible, right

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Speaker 1: because it's it's just is what it is. But I

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Speaker 1: think the search is very important and that's where I've

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Speaker 1: been and I kind of need to relax more, but

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Speaker 1: my mind is always going crazy. But yeah, it's been

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Speaker 1: full of creativity working on music books, you know, just

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Speaker 1: but my big thing is with my family, I just

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Speaker 1: love spending time with my family because obviously I didn't

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Speaker 1: really have one grown up. So yeah, that's that's been

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Speaker 1: my pandemic. Yeah, I definitely want to talk about that.

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Speaker 1: And you know, if anyone who's listening right now, we

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Speaker 1: are going to dive into Bobby's new book, This Bright Future.

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Speaker 1: But I just recently found out that you can solve

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Speaker 1: a Rubik's Cube while freestyling, and I was just like,

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Speaker 1: that is the craziest multitasking opportunity I've ever heard of, Like,

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Speaker 1: I've never thought of two things that are two different

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Speaker 1: so different. Tell us about how you even discovered that

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Speaker 1: you could do that. Well, I remember it was twenty fourteen,

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Speaker 1: and it was Thanksgiving and I was twenty four and

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Speaker 1: I was in my room and I was looking at

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Speaker 1: this Rubi's cube, and I feel like everybody has had

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Speaker 1: a Rubik's Cube at some point. It's just kind of

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Speaker 1: like a fun thing you have either when you're a

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Speaker 1: kid it or older and you throw it on a shelf.

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Speaker 1: And so I really wanted to learn how to do it.

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Speaker 1: So I took to YouTube and looked up at tutorial

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Speaker 1: on all the algorithms it's I swear to God, this

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Speaker 1: is random that I have one here right now, like

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Speaker 1: I promise you, and I'll probably really butcher it while

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Speaker 1: I'm telling the story. But yeah, basically what I wanted

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Speaker 1: to do was is I wanted to learn how to

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Speaker 1: do it. And I'm a freak like anything that I

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Speaker 1: want to get into, no matter what it is, whether

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Speaker 1: it's acting, whether it's music, I mean just even video games.

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Speaker 1: Like I love mastering things or at least trying to

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Speaker 1: doing my best too. And so I sat down and

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Speaker 1: I literally just studied this algorithm. And I mean at

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Speaker 1: this point, it's like I was working on things until

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Speaker 1: like these algorithms until my freaking fingers felt like they

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Speaker 1: were going to fall off, which was insane, and like

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Speaker 1: ten hours later or however long it was, I did it.

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Speaker 1: And then I learned how to do it without actually

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Speaker 1: having to look at the algorithms or how they were done.

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Speaker 1: So then it had become muscle memory, which was really awesome,

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Speaker 1: but it was a very it was intense and pretty crazy.

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Speaker 1: And then I got into like speedcubing and different things

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Speaker 1: like that, which is also very nerdy but also very

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Speaker 1: fun and yeah, man, So it was basically Thanksgiving and

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Speaker 1: before I knew it, I had learned to solve it,

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Speaker 1: and then I just kind of did it constantly, and

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Speaker 1: one day I was like, all right, I'm gonna take

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Speaker 1: my nerds Sci Fi raps on the radio with Big

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Speaker 1: Boys Neighborhood, and I'm also going to do a Rubis

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Speaker 1: Cube Wally freestyle. And it could have ended badly because

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Speaker 1: I could have been so nervous, which I was, that

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Speaker 1: it didn't work out. But it did and that was

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Speaker 1: really cool. I swear that's just right here. Next dude,

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Speaker 1: just hold that up again, because that was incredible. That

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Speaker 1: was amazing. Thanks man, that was phenomenal. I mean, like,

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Speaker 1: for anyone who's listening and not watching the podcast, he

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Speaker 1: just solved Bobby Hole logic, just solved a Rubik's Cube

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Speaker 1: while explaining how he freestyles and Rubik's cubes at the

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Speaker 1: same time. So for anyone who didn't get to see that,

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Speaker 1: please go over to YouTube or Instagram and what's that

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Speaker 1: pot is? That was pretty epic. But I love that,

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Speaker 1: you know, I love the idea of mastery. That's something

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Speaker 1: that's always been fascinating to me as well. And I

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Speaker 1: can geek out about mastery, but when I look at

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Speaker 1: your childhood, which I got to explore through this book.

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Speaker 1: You describe yourself as an orphan with parents, and I

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Speaker 1: think right now in society, we're at this time where

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Speaker 1: a lot of people have started reflecting more on their

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Speaker 1: childhood and how it formed their habits, their behaviors, their ideologies.

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Speaker 1: What are some of the before we dive into your

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Speaker 1: childhood specifically, or let's actually let's dive into that with parents,

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Speaker 1: and then what I really want to hear about is

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Speaker 1: what were the ideologies that were created from that that

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Speaker 1: you found healthy and then ones that you found that

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Speaker 1: were unhealthy. I want to hear about both. So, so

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Speaker 1: tell us about growing up as an orphan with parents. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my dad's black, my mom's white, but I'm the only

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Speaker 1: one who looks white. But it's like, it's my culture,

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Speaker 1: it's my people, So I fit in there was it

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Speaker 1: was never an issue. It's never anything. It just was

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Speaker 1: what it was. It wasn't really more so until I

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Speaker 1: got into entertainment and hip hop that people wanted to

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Speaker 1: kind of put you into this box. My father was

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Speaker 1: addicted to crack cocaine. My mother had also done various drugs.

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Speaker 1: She fell into prostitution when she was young, alcoholic. It

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Speaker 1: just really wasn't a good a good thing. She was

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Speaker 1: very mentally unstable, bipolar, i'd like to think borderline schizophrenic,

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Speaker 1: which was really crazy too. And yeah, I mean I

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Speaker 1: was surrounded by drugs and violence and guns and shooting

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Speaker 1: guns and cooking crack and my brother's selling crack to

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Speaker 1: my dad and them running around in the street and

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Speaker 1: it was just a really not like a good place

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Speaker 1: to be. But the craziest thing is as I am

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Speaker 1: the only child between my mother and father, so I

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Speaker 1: was like an only child, although I have eight brothers

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Speaker 1: and sisters, which is really crazy on both sides. But

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Speaker 1: we were never together. It was never like a family situation.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean, growing up, I think i'd like to,

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Speaker 1: you know, people say, oh, well, how did you how

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Speaker 1: did you make it out of that? How are you

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Speaker 1: who you are today? And I always say it's like

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Speaker 1: God and common sense. And I will further go on

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Speaker 1: to say, like, I'm not really a super religious guy,

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Speaker 1: but I also don't. I don't hate on religion. I

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Speaker 1: don't hate on people's faith. I think it's very important.

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Speaker 1: I think it's beautiful. I don't see it as like

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Speaker 1: sky Dad like some white guy with a beard sitting

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Speaker 1: on a cloud. I don't really, I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if it's a it's a guy, it's a girl,

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Speaker 1: it's this, it's a that. But I do believe in something.

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Speaker 1: I believe in a higher power, and I think that

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Speaker 1: mixed with common sense, was like, oh, maybe don't smoke crack.

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Speaker 1: Oh you know, seeing my mother being beaten and bloody

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Speaker 1: by men, Oh, don't put your hands on a woman.

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Speaker 1: It was just a weird thing where another any other child,

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Speaker 1: or most other children would see these things and go, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is this is life, this is what it is.

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Speaker 1: You yell at a woman, you hit a woman, you

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Speaker 1: do this, you do that. I was like, no, don't

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Speaker 1: do that. And I don't know how or why, but

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Speaker 1: I'm here and I'm definitely not smoking cracker beating my wife.

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Speaker 1: So I think I'm doing all right. I think that

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Speaker 1: makes a lot of sense. That resonates with me deeply.

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Speaker 1: I always feel like, you know, if someone grows up

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Speaker 1: with alcoholic parents, if you had twins, one of them

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Speaker 1: could become an alcoholic and one of them could never

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Speaker 1: drink alcohol. Right, It's like you get to make that

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Speaker 1: choice when you have an experience, you made certain choices.

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Speaker 1: Was there any lessons that you learned early from either

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Speaker 1: of them? Do you think there was something that kind

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Speaker 1: of gave you this desire for mastery, gave you this

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Speaker 1: desire for figuring things out, for living life in a

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Speaker 1: specific way, or actually was a lot of it just

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Speaker 1: survival and having to find your own way at seventeen

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Speaker 1: years old when you, you know, finally left. It's funny

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Speaker 1: that you ask that, because I when it comes to mastery, yes,

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Speaker 1: like I absolutely do love making something everything like just

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Speaker 1: utterly allowing it to just engulf me. And I think

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Speaker 1: maybe a lot of that is because my parents didn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily do that. You know, my mother, she had a

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Speaker 1: lot of hobbies and things that she was into. She

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Speaker 1: was into writing, she loved music, she loved dance. She

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Speaker 1: did love a lot of things, but she never really

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Speaker 1: focused on one thing, with the exception of I guess,

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Speaker 1: like reading the Bible. But she was also very hypocritical

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Speaker 1: when it came to religion. And I'd also just like

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Speaker 1: to say it's very important that I say this when

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Speaker 1: you hear me talking about my family, I want you

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Speaker 1: to know that in no way is it with malice

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Speaker 1: or hatred or anger. You know, I've forgiven these people

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Speaker 1: for what they've done, and I look at them, especially

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Speaker 1: now I look at my son, and I'm like, I couldn't.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how, you know, somebody could do this

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Speaker 1: to a baby or a child, the things that I

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Speaker 1: went through. You know, my mom called me and the

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Speaker 1: rest of her kids the end word with a hard R.

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Speaker 1: And I remember people saying like, oh, that doesn't really

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Speaker 1: make any sense, Like that can't be true. That doesn't

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Speaker 1: make any sense. And it's like, one, first of all,

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Speaker 1: don't dismiss my truth. And second of course, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: make any sense. And I've spent my entire life trying

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Speaker 1: to make it make sense and then realizing, oh, it

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Speaker 1: just doesn't. This is a mentally ill, broken person. This

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Speaker 1: person is lashing out not only at her children, but

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Speaker 1: at people around. I mean, think about it. It's it's

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Speaker 1: kind of weird that my mother is systemically racism at racist,

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Speaker 1: and yet all of her children are with black men

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Speaker 1: because she finds black people so beautiful, which really just

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Speaker 1: stems from her bringing a young black man home when

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Speaker 1: she was a teenager and saying, this is my boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: and then her parents being like, we don't mix with

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Speaker 1: their kind. It's all really insane and there's levels of that.

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Speaker 1: But back to mastery. Sorry, you'll find I go on tangent.

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Speaker 1: I think the fact that she never necessarily focused on

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Speaker 1: one particular thing made me want to focus on one

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Speaker 1: particular thing. And when you're a kid, you try different things.

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Speaker 1: She played basketball, baseball, you draw you dancy this year that,

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Speaker 1: but there was always something about music, and I wanted

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Speaker 1: to really make it my life. So I think, yeah,

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Speaker 1: those examples that she kind of set or necessarily didn't

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Speaker 1: set made me want to do that. Yeah, how do

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Speaker 1: you get to that point? Bobby? When I'm hearing you

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Speaker 1: talk about your family, and I loved what you said that, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm not you know, I'm not putting their dirty laundry

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Speaker 1: out there. I'm not trying to put them down. I'm

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Speaker 1: not being critical. I'm just sharing because I want to

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Speaker 1: be vulnerable and share my truth and the experience. I

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Speaker 1: think it would be very natural for people to have resentment,

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Speaker 1: for people to have bitterness. You said, I've got to

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Speaker 1: a place where I've forgiven them. Now I want to

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Speaker 1: hear how did you get to that? What I loved

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Speaker 1: something that you did there. Which was so beautiful was

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Speaker 1: you were able to disconnect her behavior from it being

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Speaker 1: personal to you. You were like, this is just how

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Speaker 1: she was with everyone, because this was a condition she

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Speaker 1: was struggling with. This wasn't about me, Bobby the kid

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Speaker 1: being a loser, being useless, being bad. How were you

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Speaker 1: able to get to that process of forgiving some of

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Speaker 1: these experiences that you had? I mean, definitely just maturity growth.

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Speaker 1: And I think my own personal journey as a as

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Speaker 1: a young man and realizing what dysfunction is and was

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Speaker 1: so it's like I was able to realize this is

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Speaker 1: a sick person once again. God common sense, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but I just knew, oh, this isn't right. You know.

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Speaker 1: It's like, you know, I only had a few places

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Speaker 1: of I guess neutrality, we could call it where I

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Speaker 1: would go to like the skate park, and I would

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Speaker 1: just see your normal average person, right, and that has

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with wealth or money or this or that,

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Speaker 1: but just your normal kind of regular, run of the

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Speaker 1: mill kid and his parents, and I'd go, oh, like

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Speaker 1: like I would. I was realizing, like you know, like

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Speaker 1: my mother never really came to the skate park to

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Speaker 1: watch me skateboard, and then this kid, you know as

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Speaker 1: as his parents, coming of all races and colors and

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Speaker 1: people and they're just there and I just saw this

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, this isn't right. But I

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Speaker 1: also understand now. Don't get me wrong. There was times

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Speaker 1: when I was angry, of course, like I'm angry, like

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Speaker 1: I had to learn how to ride my bike by myself.

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Speaker 1: I remember one of my earliest memories is choking on

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Speaker 1: a sandwich and my mom then scolding me that I

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Speaker 1: had thrown it up because I couldn't breathe, and she

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Speaker 1: made me clean it up, and I'm like five years old,

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Speaker 1: like no, I like you clean that up and then

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Speaker 1: console me and hug me and tell me everything's gonna

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Speaker 1: be okay, you know, Like I didn't have that. But

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Speaker 1: I think while I was going through it, even though

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Speaker 1: there was that anger, there was this these moments of

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Speaker 1: like understanding, oh, there is something wrong here. And for

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Speaker 1: a long time I was angry at her in her

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Speaker 1: mental state and her this and her that. But then

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Speaker 1: as I started to experience anxiety and you know, just

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Speaker 1: normal things that you do as you grow an age

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Speaker 1: and mature, I realized, oh wow, like this isn't really

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Speaker 1: her fault, so it's but I'm also not here to

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Speaker 1: excuse her actions by any mean. I mean my mother

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Speaker 1: she almost she almost killed me when I was about

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Speaker 1: seven or eight years old. She almost strangled me to

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Speaker 1: death and then stopped in the middle of what she

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Speaker 1: was doing and realized what she was doing. And I

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Speaker 1: remember very vividly looking at her and seeing like, oh

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Speaker 1: so much anger. And I didn't really do anything. I

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Speaker 1: was just bouncing off the walls like a kid having fun,

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Speaker 1: you know. I wasn't no matter what a child shouldn't

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Speaker 1: be met with almost being you know, essentially strangled an

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Speaker 1: inch from their life. And I remember crying and having

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Speaker 1: tears in my eyes, and it was almost like I

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Speaker 1: was looking at her, you know, through like underwater glasses.

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Speaker 1: And then she stopped after realizing what she was doing,

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Speaker 1: and I just told her, I said it's okay, mommy,

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Speaker 1: like I love you, like it's okay. And I look

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Speaker 1: back at that now and realize that. But I'm more

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Speaker 1: sad for her than me, because I made it out.

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Speaker 1: I made it out, so I don't know how I did.

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Speaker 1: But this woman still has to live with herself, and

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Speaker 1: I wish I could have a relationship with her so bad.

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Speaker 1: And I'm kind of on and off with my dad.

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Speaker 1: Like one of my dad's last requests was eight hundred

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars so he could buy himself a studio for

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Speaker 1: him in his band, some house. Like it's just like

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Speaker 1: it's ludicrous. It's like, hey, Dad, can I maybe like,

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Speaker 1: can we just talk about life for a second. Every

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Speaker 1: time I talk to my father, it's always music this

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Speaker 1: and music that. But I also realized that very much

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Speaker 1: so like my mother, with my dad, that's all he knows.

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Speaker 1: So he talks to music about music to everybody, not

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Speaker 1: just me. But I just think it's funny that I

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00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,720
Speaker 1: started to get a lot more phone calls once the

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Speaker 1: name logic started getting bigger. I thought that was weird.

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Speaker 1: But when it comes to forgiveness and having this site,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I don't know. And writing this

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Speaker 1: book was very cathartic and very beautiful, and it allowed

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Speaker 1: me to forgive even more. But I know, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: cop out. I just don't know. That's that's not a

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Speaker 1: cop out. I appreciate the honesty and I love what

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Speaker 1: you said there because when you look at forgiveness. It

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00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,879
Speaker 1: doesn't excuse the other person of their behavior, it just

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Speaker 1: exits you from the baggage of carrying it. And so,

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Speaker 1: you know, I think that distinction is really important that

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Speaker 1: you made there that Hey, you know, I was put

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Speaker 1: in pain, I was almost killed. This is as bad

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Speaker 1: as it when. But I don't want to carry all

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Speaker 1: of that with me. And I think the zooming out

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Speaker 1: and the broader perspective of hey, this is just how

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Speaker 1: they're interacting with everyone, it's not just me. I think

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00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:06,160
Speaker 1: those are really practical steps actually that whether you took

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Speaker 1: them knowingly or unknowingly, consciously or unconsciously, they're really powerful

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Speaker 1: things for everyone to take away. I wonder now as

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Speaker 1: a father, you know, you've you've got your adorable son.

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Speaker 1: We see a picture of him in the back of

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Speaker 1: the book, a little bay. Yeah. I wonder now when

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Speaker 1: you're as a father, which is such an amazing step.

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Speaker 1: And you said it was February last year, so he's like,

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Speaker 1: well eighteen months old now, yeah, yeah, nineteen months old.

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Speaker 1: Tell us about how you're approaching parenting. I want to

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Speaker 1: hear about as a father, how you're thinking about it.

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Speaker 1: What are some of the values or principles that you're

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Speaker 1: hoping to teach him more or you're hoping that he'll learn.

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Speaker 1: My biggest thing is communication. I think it's so very

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Speaker 1: important to be able to communicate with your children and

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Speaker 1: also not getting amnesia. My godmother Mary Joe, who took

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Speaker 1: me in for a nice time in my life when

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Speaker 1: I was a teenager. He told me that, like, you

385
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Speaker 1: can't get amnesia, like you can't forget that like kids

386
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Speaker 1: do stupid things, or kids, you know, like even just

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Speaker 1: I don't know, if you're in seventh grade and your

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Speaker 1: heart gets ripped out by some boy or some girl

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Speaker 1: that you were dating for like eight days and it

390
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Speaker 1: feels like the end of the world and they broke

391
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Speaker 1: up with you just before the school dance and your

392
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Speaker 1: life is over. And it's like, as an adult, it's

393
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,719
Speaker 1: so easy to brush that off and be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: shut you're fine, you'll be fine. Shut up. But it's like,

395
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Speaker 1: even though that's true, and even though you should say that,

396
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 1: maybe not as callous, you know, but it's like, don't forget, man,

397
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Speaker 1: don't forget that you were there and that seventh grade

398
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Speaker 1: is your child's entire world. So it's kind of having

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Speaker 1: those things in my mind, while moving forward are very important,

400
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:49,240
Speaker 1: spending time with him is very important, and yeah, but

401
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 1: I think communication really is the biggest thing. You know,

402
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,959
Speaker 1: a lot of people will just get mad when like

403
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,880
Speaker 1: he's in a slight hitting phase right now where he'll

404
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 1: kind of like if he's frustrated, he'll throw something. But

405
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 1: it's and somebody could be like, no, you know, you

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Speaker 1: don't throw things. You don't. But it's like he's so

407
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 1: frustrated because he has he lacks the ability to be

408
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 1: able to communicate with us. So it's like, Okay, stop, pause,

409
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,399
Speaker 1: let him know, no, we don't do that, Like you

410
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Speaker 1: don't throw things. No, you can say it sternly, but

411
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Speaker 1: not choking them to death, like I think. I think

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Speaker 1: that's what's really important. And once again, just seeing this little, beautiful,

413
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Speaker 1: perfect slate of a human being is I just don't

414
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Speaker 1: know how people can do some of the things that

415
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Speaker 1: they do to children or that have been done to me.

416
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Speaker 1: It's kind of very sickening. But I believe that it's

417
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Speaker 1: up to me to break that cycle and be one

418
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Speaker 1: of the first people in my family to do so,

419
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Speaker 1: not the only one. There's some great people in my

420
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 1: family who have made it out. But yeah, so when

421
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 1: I look at him, I think about that love, compassion,

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00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 1: communication and not gaining amnesia. Yeah yeah, I like that

423
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 1: point about not gaining amnesia and the idea of I

424
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,479
Speaker 1: feel like one of the biggest mistakes we will make

425
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 1: his humans is that we communicating people with people from

426
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,879
Speaker 1: where we are, not where they are, and so we

427
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 1: forget that we were where they are right now. And

428
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,919
Speaker 1: if we just talk to them recognizing that that was

429
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,680
Speaker 1: us ten years ago, twenty thirty, fifty, whatever it is,

430
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,639
Speaker 1: that that would make all the difference. And now you

431
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,120
Speaker 1: have a vocabulary for it. We do. We understand mental

432
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: illness better, we understand mental health. We understand these terms

433
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 1: a bit better. We're getting there. When was it when

434
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 1: you first started realizing that this was mental illness, this

435
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:33,480
Speaker 1: was mental health, this was their conditioning and challenges that

436
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 1: were on a deeper level as a just more than

437
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 1: just their addiction. I think, just simply, like I said,

438
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: by being able to make the connection or lack thereof,

439
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 1: between a friend of mins parents and my parents, like

440
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,639
Speaker 1: seeing your kind of normal person who can go and

441
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 1: hold a job. I think my mom only ever had

442
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 1: like two jobs. I think she worked at a supermarket

443
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,160
Speaker 1: for a little bit, and she worked at Chick fil

444
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 1: A and she could not stand people telling her what

445
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,199
Speaker 1: to do. And I realized that, and yet then she

446
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,679
Speaker 1: would tell me what to do, and yet I had

447
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 1: to just suck it up and take it. And then

448
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 1: even with myself, like I said, me going through anxiety

449
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 1: was like a big eye opener. And I remember my

450
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 1: first panic attack. I was like thirteen years old, and

451
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 1: it was really scary, and my mom had gone away, well,

452
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 1: I mean, she just went to the store for like

453
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 1: an hour. But I had this panic attack, and I

454
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,199
Speaker 1: started to realize I was I was dealing with like

455
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 1: separation anxiety from my mother, and that a lot of

456
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,719
Speaker 1: our relationship was more based on brainwashing, which sounds crazy,

457
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:37,879
Speaker 1: but the having this feeling that I needed her and

458
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 1: that if she wasn't there, like my entire world would crumble.

459
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,920
Speaker 1: And I didn't know how to deal with anxiety. And honestly,

460
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,880
Speaker 1: I only really learned how to deal with anxiety much

461
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 1: later in life, like in my late twenties. I'm thirty

462
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 1: one now, and even right now, Jay, like, I'm I'm

463
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 1: pretty anxious right now. I don't know why. It's really

464
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 1: weird I felt fine before I got on in front

465
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 1: of the camera, and even right now, like, I have

466
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 1: this feeling of anxiety. And maybe it's a number of things.

467
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 1: Maybe it's I'm recounting my childhood. I just I have

468
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 1: a book that's come out, you know, so many things

469
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 1: that are going on in my mind. I'm fine, I know,

470
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,200
Speaker 1: I'm fine. I'm drinking water, I'm talking to an amazing

471
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 1: human being. I'm everything is okay. And yet internally there

472
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,439
Speaker 1: is still is a part of me that feels a

473
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 1: little jittery and a little nervous and a little this

474
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:29,120
Speaker 1: and a little that. And I've learned how to deal

475
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 1: with that and instead of like freaking out, I just go,

476
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 1: you're fine, it's okay. Feeling this way is normal. I

477
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 1: remember speaking with my therapists and she told me, I

478
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 1: was like, I hate the fact that I feel anxious.

479
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 1: I was like, there's people out there that don't really

480
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: They just have kind of general anxiety, but they don't

481
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 1: have that anxiety where it can also affect them physically

482
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: where they feel weird or they feel like they could

483
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 1: pass out or this. And she was like, yeah, and

484
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 1: then sometimes it happens to them like Tony soprano when

485
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 1: or in their fifties trying to feed the ducks in

486
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,120
Speaker 1: their pool, and then that's just their life after that.

487
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 1: And she said, the thing is is not like you

488
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,239
Speaker 1: have to accept that that's just who you are and

489
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,919
Speaker 1: that's the way your life is now, and do the

490
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 1: best that you can to combat and deal with that

491
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 1: anxiety and those emotions and the most positive manner possible.

492
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 1: So it wasn't until I started truly understanding what anxiety

493
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 1: meant and how much it can affect your day to

494
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 1: day personal and professional life that I even grew more

495
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 1: sympathetic towards my mother and all the things that she

496
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,679
Speaker 1: was dealing with. Yeah, well, I want to thank you

497
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: for sharing that, and also just to say that I

498
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 1: do think it's natural and extremely brave when you're sharing

499
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 1: such personal accounts of things in your life and you're

500
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 1: putting them out there, and we know the world we

501
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 1: live in where everything we say is you know, it's

502
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: natural for you to feel that way. So I really

503
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,719
Speaker 1: appreciate you even opening up and sharing that. And I

504
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 1: just want you to know that I think you're sharing

505
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: your story not just on this interview but in this

506
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 1: book in a way that is going to help so

507
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: many people with their perspective. So I want you to

508
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: know that, and I also want you to know that, yeah,

509
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,880
Speaker 1: we all have anxiety. I officiated someone's wedding this weekend,

510
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 1: the wedding the weekend that just went, and my wife

511
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 1: said it to me. She was like, yeah, I've never

512
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 1: seen you this anxious or stressed in your life with

513
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,920
Speaker 1: anything you do. And I was like, because it's someone's

514
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,400
Speaker 1: wedding day. I was like, And people were like, oh,

515
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: but you've done this million times and you've done it,

516
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 1: and I was like, it doesn't matter how many times

517
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: I've done it. It's someone different and it's their wedding

518
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 1: day and this is an important moment for someone. And

519
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: what I've realized and I love what you said there

520
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,639
Speaker 1: because I do something similar. I've redefined my relationship with

521
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 1: anxiety that I'm feeling anxious when I care. So I

522
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 1: know that when I'm feeling anxious it's because it's something

523
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,160
Speaker 1: good about me is that I care. I'm a human

524
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 1: that loves and cares and is compassionate and wants to

525
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: serve these two beautiful people that I wedded, that I

526
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 1: love and that love me, and I have a relationship

527
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 1: with it's because of that. I'm not scared about what

528
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 1: someone thinks about it or how it goes. I'm I'm

529
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: anxious because I care about these two people and I

530
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 1: feel they deserve something special. It's funny you say that,

531
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: because another thing that I had dealt with for I mean,

532
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 1: everybody deals with it is intrusive thoughts. You're aware of this, right,

533
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,119
Speaker 1: intrusive thoughts. So it could be the craziest thing. It

534
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 1: could be your baby falling to it's death. It could

535
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,679
Speaker 1: be you, I don't know, punching a store clerk, and

536
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 1: you're just like, oh my god, why would I think that?

537
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 1: How could I think something so despicable or whatever the

538
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: case may be, these dark thoughts. And I remember talking

539
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 1: to my therapist and she was like, well, one, those

540
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 1: aren't really your thoughts. You're not thinking that. She was like,

541
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: that's kind of douchebag brain. And she put it, she

542
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 1: was like, it's just these thoughts that pop into your head,

543
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 1: and you need to understand that. That's that's also um

544
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 1: like conscious, like your your conscious recognizes that and it's

545
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 1: then terrified. And so I think when it comes to

546
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 1: anxiety and the things you care about It's like, oh

547
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 1: my god, if I think about my baby dying, because

548
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:01,919
Speaker 1: that's the most precious thing to me. If I think

549
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: about I don't know, like I said, punching some clerk

550
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: in the face, it's like violence. I hate violence. So

551
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 1: it's these things that my brain is doing that I'm

552
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 1: kind of then freaking out about. But it's about how

553
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,959
Speaker 1: we deal with that. If we then focus on it

554
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 1: too much and obsessed why would I think that? Why

555
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,479
Speaker 1: would I think that? Why would I think that? Then

556
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: every time we're in a situation where that thought is

557
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: then triggered, then it just becomes more intense and the

558
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: real The key there is to not really focus on

559
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: it is to really not think about it. Understand that

560
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 1: it's a thought. It's a disgusting thought that you didn't

561
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 1: even think in your head. It just somehow popped in

562
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 1: and you were like, oh my goodness, you know, to

563
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 1: hell with you. And that's also how I feel about anxiety.

564
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,639
Speaker 1: I think there's a difference between legitimately like oh I'm

565
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 1: starting to see stars or I feel like I need

566
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 1: to sit down, Like that could be different, even though

567
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,439
Speaker 1: it may be anxiety. But it's like ask yourself, have

568
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: you been working really hard? Have you drink enough water today?

569
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 1: Have you eaten? Have you this? Have you that? And

570
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 1: having the mind the mindset to be able to just

571
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 1: ask yourself what is going on? And that was something

572
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: I couldn't do for a long time. I was very unhealthy,

573
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 1: both physically and mentally. And once I really learned how

574
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:13,399
Speaker 1: to utilize these tools, my life became better. But I mean,

575
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: I still get anxiety, like it sucks, yeah, but it

576
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,120
Speaker 1: also is great. I mean, I'm not going to say

577
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: anxiety is great. Anxiety just sucks. But it's look at

578
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 1: this great conversation we're having because of it. I've made

579
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:28,880
Speaker 1: songs about it, I've written parts in scripts about it.

580
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,719
Speaker 1: I've like, I get it and I understand it. And

581
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 1: because of that, it's actually allowed me to connect with

582
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: people on such a deeper level and being willing to

583
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 1: go because I'll tell you this, man, I love rap

584
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 1: I love hip hop. It's a beautiful place. It's also

585
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 1: a negative place, just like the world is. And but

586
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: I've met a lot of rappers where I try to

587
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: have like deeper conversations with them and they just don't

588
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 1: do it because I think they're also scared and to

589
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: internalize how they're feeling. But I did have one guy,

590
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: and I'll never forget. He was like, bro, I wish

591
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 1: I could be you. And I was like, what do

592
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 1: you mean. I'm like the nerd rapper who solved rubscubes

593
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: and wraps about sci fi. You're like, you're that dude.

594
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 1: You know you got the cred even though Loki, I've

595
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 1: shot guns and cook crack, so I guess I have

596
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: the cred as well, but I don't really perpetuate that life.

597
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 1: And he was like, look, man, he was like, I'm scared.

598
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: He was like, that was so long ago. That's not

599
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 1: who I am anymore. And he's like, I like video games,

600
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 1: I like this, I like that. I wish I could

601
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 1: just be myself. And when he said that to me,

602
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 1: I realized that all the years and time, the times

603
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 1: that I'd been made fun of in hip hop or

604
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 1: this or that, well, at the end of the day,

605
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 1: I may have been made fun of by a certain

606
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: sect or quote unquote cool group or the jocks of rap,

607
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 1: but at least I was always myself and never had

608
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 1: to pretend to be somebody I was not. And then

609
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 1: that led to, you know, just saying I'd rather be

610
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not,

611
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 1: which I think, like Kurt Cobain or somebody said, yea,

612
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 1: but yeah, there it is. Yeah. No, that's a beautiful message, man.

613
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 1: I think that something everyone can relate to. And or

614
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 1: you were speaking about there about the douchebag brain in

615
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 1: the monasteryies to quote it, the monkey mind and the mind.

616
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 1: See if the monkey mind that's you know, saying all

617
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 1: these intrusive thoughts, as you said, saying all these self

618
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 1: doubt anxiety, and then you have the monk mind, which

619
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 1: is the calm, distill, the balanced, and to bring that

620
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: monkey mind back onto control. And so yeah, for me,

621
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 1: that was always that was always a fun way of

622
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 1: thinking about it. It's just like, oh, I've just got

623
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 1: this monkey that's jumping from bronze to brown to my

624
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 1: head and you know, it doesn't know what it wants

625
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 1: and it's confused and it's moving fast. But the monk

626
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 1: mine can kind of ground it. So that aligns very strongly.

627
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 1: I've always I always saw this guy who looks like

628
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 1: I want you to imagine like a cartoon. There's this

629
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 1: episode of Futurama. It's one of my favorite cartoons, but

630
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 1: I forget the episode. But there's like this liquid guy

631
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 1: and he's like blue and he looks like just kind

632
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 1: of moving water and his head's all back and he

633
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: looks kind of cool. I imagine that guy in a

634
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: leather jacket sitting on a like a beach chair in

635
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 1: my brain, and he's responsible for these thoughts. He's like,

636
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,480
Speaker 1: he said, the monkey mine, it's like this monkey. But

637
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 1: it's like that's how I see this guy. And I've

638
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: actually had conversations with this guy like get out of here, dude,

639
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 1: like like what's like chill? Like stop, And then he'll

640
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 1: say something to me that I hear and it almost

641
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 1: sounds like I'm crazy, right because it's like I'm having

642
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 1: a conversation with myself in my head. But I have

643
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: had this and I'm like, no, like not today, man.

644
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 1: And sometimes he really he'll he'll hit me with some

645
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: crazy images or me freaking out or going to the

646
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 1: emergency room or it's just all these things because I'm

647
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: always constantly thinking about my health and I have to

648
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 1: have those conversations until the water blob or monkey man

649
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 1: or whatever to calm down and do my best to

650
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 1: be in control, which is actually really funny because I'm

651
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 1: not in control. We're not really in control, and I

652
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: think accepting the fact that you're not in control in

653
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 1: some weird way gives you a bit of control at

654
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 1: the same time. But yeah, yeah, yeah, it definitely it

655
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: gives you more control over what you can control, if

656
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 1: it there's any of that that you can do. So no,

657
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: I like that, and I love the Futurama reference. All

658
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 1: of the futura references. Was what would you say was

659
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: your earlier You referred to this earlier, so I'm bringing

660
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: it back. What would you say was your earliest memory

661
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:13,719
Speaker 1: of becoming aware of racism? Uh, and and experiencing it

662
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 1: for yourself or trying to understand it as a young

663
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 1: person who obviously has a very diverse childhood, but people

664
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 1: not being able to understand contextualize. I want to know

665
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 1: what that's like from your perspective. Like I say in

666
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 1: the book that that racism for me, when I first

667
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 1: experienced it wasn't outside in, it was inside out right,

668
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: Because it was my mother who used this word. I mean,

669
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: it's really disgusting, but but the way she would she

670
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 1: would do it, she would do it in a way

671
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: where it's just whatever would cut deep, you know, like

672
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 1: if you were fat, she'd call you fat. If you're ugly,

673
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 1: she'd call you ugly. If you were black, she would,

674
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 1: you know, use these slurs anybody, any race, any of this,

675
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 1: any of that, which I was just thought was so

676
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: disgusting because she would like say this, and then next

677
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 1: week she'd take me to the library and we'd be

678
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,959
Speaker 1: getting like Black History Month, like DVDs and vhs, and

679
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 1: she's like, you need to be proud of your of

680
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 1: your heritage, and I'm just like, what is wrong with you?

681
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: So like there was that um and then the crazy

682
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 1: thing about racism is like, Okay, first of all, it's

683
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 1: one hundred percent, it exists. It's a real thing. But

684
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 1: like especially kind of like in the hood and where

685
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 1: I grew up, it's just different. It's like the white

686
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 1: boys are hanging out with the brothers and and and

687
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 1: you know, the Mexican cats and everybody. We're all just

688
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: hanging out together. Like unless it's like gangs who are

689
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: like just don't mess with a certain demographic of other people.

690
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: But for the most part, man, like, oh, everybody was

691
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 1: just hanging It wasn't really like that and then once

692
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 1: you start growing up is where you realize like these

693
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,120
Speaker 1: sects and these like this division really comes in. So

694
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: for me, it was very weird to to enter hip hop,

695
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 1: a place that I love and loved and um is

696
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 1: built on positivity and all the way from Sugar Hill

697
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 1: Gang and KRS one and you know it's it is

698
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,080
Speaker 1: built on a message run DMC like be yourself and

699
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,480
Speaker 1: it was also a lot of fun braggadosha, but for

700
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: the most part, it was like, you know, this is

701
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,879
Speaker 1: the story that we're here to tell, and so for me,

702
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 1: I was like, oh wow, I can tell my story.

703
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,439
Speaker 1: So it's I was like there in these last ten

704
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,839
Speaker 1: years at the cusp of hip hop becoming like low

705
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 1: key the most popular genre of music, and the more

706
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,440
Speaker 1: quote unquote pop that it got, the more attention was

707
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: brought on all of the people who were heading it

708
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 1: at the front line, and being one of those people

709
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,280
Speaker 1: received a lot of hate that was basically all based

710
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 1: on my race, which was very difficult because it was

711
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: like a double edged sword and there was really no winning.

712
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 1: You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't.

713
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 1: I go in an interview and they'd say Okay, yeah,

714
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,840
Speaker 1: so we here with this with this rapper name logic.

715
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 1: So what's it like being white and hip hop and

716
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and I have to go, well, first

717
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 1: of all, I'm not I'm black and white, so I mixed.

718
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 1: And then and then that turns into comments on the

719
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: internet like why is he always got to be proven himself?

720
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 1: Why has he always got to explain? Why is he

721
00:34:57,640 --> 00:34:59,759
Speaker 1: alway getting It's like, well, one, I'm just telling you

722
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 1: who I am so first and foremost, like you know,

723
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: you're for you to look at me and just claim

724
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: that I'm one thing. No, I am proud to be

725
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 1: this thing, which the double edged sword is. Then what

726
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 1: if I never said it? And then you find out

727
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,799
Speaker 1: that my dad's black? And then a year later you're like,

728
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 1: so what you was shamed to be black? You're trying

729
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 1: to use this whole white thing to get And then

730
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 1: it's that and you know, you have incredible artists like

731
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,799
Speaker 1: Kendrick lamar I, j Cole Killer, Mike Black Thought from

732
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 1: the Roots talking about their black and every song they're

733
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 1: they're happy to be black, They're proud to be black.

734
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 1: I'm black, I'm black and black, I'm to blackest. And then,

735
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 1: for the first time in my career, on my third album,

736
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,760
Speaker 1: after constantly being called this thing that I didn't necessarily

737
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:41,840
Speaker 1: identify with, on three songs, I go, hey, I'm biracial,

738
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,399
Speaker 1: I'm mixed, I'm actually black and white. And then they

739
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,920
Speaker 1: turned it into this like biracial meme. And then I

740
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: have white kids and black kids and brown kids and

741
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:51,840
Speaker 1: all these other people trying to tell me what I

742
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 1: am or what I'm not. And it was a very

743
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:58,320
Speaker 1: difficult time in my life until I realized it's literally

744
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 1: just a meme. It has not thing to do with anything.

745
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 1: The music is so good, the music is getting billions

746
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 1: of streams, the music is platinum. That I'm in arenas,

747
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 1: I'm selling out. Oh this is just a talking subject.

748
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 1: It's it's low hanging fruit. It's easy for these people

749
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 1: to try to identify me for what they claim me as,

750
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 1: put me in that box and leave it at that.

751
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 1: And that was a big part of me stepping away

752
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 1: from the Internet and realizing, oh, it doesn't even matter. Yeah,

753
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,240
Speaker 1: And it's almost like it's almost like you were repeating

754
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: what you had to do as a child, Like as

755
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 1: a child, he had to be like Okay, this is

756
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 1: not my mom. This is her illness, this is her challenge.

757
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 1: It's not about me. And so now it was like,

758
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 1: mom is kind of like the Internet, where it's like

759
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:40,799
Speaker 1: look right, yeah, like whoa Actually like the way he said,

760
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 1: it's kind of insane, because yeah, I then had this

761
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 1: like very negative but also beautiful relationship at the same

762
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 1: time with the Internet and social media and all this

763
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 1: which in many ways was constantly berating me and harassing

764
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 1: me and yelling at me and screaming at me the

765
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 1: same way my mother did when I was a child. Wow,

766
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,720
Speaker 1: nice Pool, You're a genius. No, yeah, no, it's just interesting.

767
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 1: I just I love seeing how like patterns repeat in

768
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 1: people's lives and how we have to It's almost like

769
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 1: you you've overcome the first challenge of their upbringing, and

770
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 1: then it's like, well, here's the escalated challenge of it

771
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 1: with now like millions of people who don't know you.

772
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,879
Speaker 1: And then, as you said, you're selling out Arenas people

773
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 1: love the music, the music so awesome. You know, you're

774
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 1: getting to see the real version of that. Tell us

775
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:25,720
Speaker 1: about how you with all of this that we've already

776
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 1: talked about, and I saved this for this part of

777
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:30,800
Speaker 1: the interview. And you write a book called This Bright Future,

778
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: which is your memoir, and I'm like, I love that,

779
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 1: Like I just I want to know how much I

780
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 1: love that? Like, how tell us where that title comes from?

781
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 1: And why this bright Future? When was that a I'm

782
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 1: asking this? Was that an imagination? Was that a vision? Where?

783
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: Where did that come from? So there's a there's a

784
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 1: band called Manfred Man's Band, and they have a song.

785
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 1: I've actually had tried to sample them for years and

786
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:01,280
Speaker 1: years and years because they have some really cool stuff.

787
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:05,279
Speaker 1: No Id sampled who I'm Homies With, sampled them for

788
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 1: a bunch of Kanye West songs and things like that

789
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,840
Speaker 1: back in the day, beautiful twist and fantasy, and so

790
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 1: I've been searching and searching and searching, and finally in

791
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 1: twenty twenty, I found this sample and it's called Lies

792
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,839
Speaker 1: through the Eighties and there's this lyric and it goes,

793
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 1: I saw a boy with no smile on his face today,

794
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:30,439
Speaker 1: whereas my bright future in this world or whatever. So

795
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 1: I love that and I sampled that and chopped it

796
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,959
Speaker 1: up for a song called heard Him Say on my

797
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: last album No Pressure, And that to me is like

798
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 1: the epitome of what the book is about my place

799
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 1: and rap is about hip hop, like it kind of

800
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: sums that up. And then we just had this idea like, wow,

801
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 1: what if what if? That was the title? And I

802
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 1: love it because if you look at the cover, you'll

803
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 1: see it's it's actually so the under Excuse me, the

804
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 1: No Pressure cover is me kind of levitating in a

805
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 1: basement that's breaking up into space. Now. Nine albums before

806
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 1: that was my debut album, Under Pressure, and that was

807
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 1: me in a basement in my homie Lenny's basement when

808
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 1: I was broke in College Park, just trying to get

809
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 1: a record deal, which I eventually got and we all

810
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: moved to LA and that was awesome. So when you're

811
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 1: looking at the No Pressure cover, you'll see I'm facing

812
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 1: you and I'm levitating, and you see my feet in

813
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 1: the air for this bright future. The memoir cover, you'll

814
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 1: see it's actually from the back of my legs. And

815
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:38,319
Speaker 1: then it's a reflection. So I'm this grown man kind

816
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 1: of like rising and heading in towards towards the light,

817
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 1: you know, not the darkness, and then you see a

818
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 1: child falling into darkness, which to me kind of represents

819
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 1: my birth and where I spent my entire childhood. But somehow,

820
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:57,919
Speaker 1: falling into darkness, I levitated into lightness and I don't

821
00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 1: know or into the light, excuse me, and I have

822
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: no idea how that happened. But that's what that all

823
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 1: means to me. I love that. I want I want

824
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 1: people to see that because I do think it's it's

825
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 1: beautifully artistic and thank you and absolutely stunning. And I

826
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 1: wanted to hear you describe that to everyone, because yeah,

827
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 1: I just love symbolism and I love visuals that can

828
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,759
Speaker 1: make you feel something, and I think when you see this,

829
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: everyone can. I'm looking at it right now and I'm

830
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,880
Speaker 1: going and I can relate in my own way to

831
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 1: what it feels like to be that kid that's falling,

832
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 1: and I can relate in my own way to what

833
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:33,880
Speaker 1: it feels like that person that's elevating. And I wanted this,

834
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 1: you know, when I speak to you logic, I want

835
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,839
Speaker 1: to read the book, Bobby. It's like you have such

836
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 1: a great understanding of psychology, thought, the mind. I want

837
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 1: to when did you get fascinated with how this all works?

838
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,799
Speaker 1: What were you reading, what were you listening to? Who

839
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 1: are you speaking to that help you understand that the

840
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 1: way you speak is so structured and thought out, and

841
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,839
Speaker 1: you recognize where things sit and how they are. Where

842
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: did that come from, Where did it get nourished, and

843
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:06,279
Speaker 1: how did you grow that? Um? Well, thanks man, you

844
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 1: make me sound like smart or something. Dude, I meant it,

845
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 1: I really mean it. I really mean it. I think

846
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 1: I've always loved language, and I think it's a beautiful thing.

847
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,799
Speaker 1: I wish I had a doper vocabulary like Neil de

848
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 1: grass Tyson or something. I was hanging out with Neil

849
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 1: de grass Tyson and he was like saying equivocal or what.

850
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:27,799
Speaker 1: I was just like, I need to step my game up.

851
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 1: When I was younger, though, I saw the power of words,

852
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 1: and I would study the dictionary and I would study

853
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:36,680
Speaker 1: the thesaurus. I also wanted to separate myself from any

854
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 1: you know, of my contemporaries or even my predecessors in

855
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 1: hip hop as well. Now I'm not saying that I

856
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 1: think I'm this like you know, oh, I use words

857
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 1: they don't use not at all. He take somebody like

858
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 1: nas I mean this dude was doing the same thing

859
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:52,240
Speaker 1: back in the day in the projects and on Queen's Bridge,

860
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,479
Speaker 1: and he was using like the he was using words

861
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 1: like cerebral, like nobody would say that like he would be.

862
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 1: Other guys were just like, yeah, you know, take a

863
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: shot to the head. He'd be like, take a gunshot

864
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,839
Speaker 1: through the cerebal cortex in the spot. And I'm just like, Yo,

865
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,839
Speaker 1: this is so cool. I also have always just been

866
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 1: so inspired by Quentin Tarantino. And you know, he didn't

867
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 1: go to film school. He just did it, and he

868
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 1: was like, he made movies his life. He studied film

869
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 1: in a way that you just couldn't even do at

870
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 1: film school. He learned things like on the street. And

871
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:29,840
Speaker 1: that's how I felt when it came to I guess

872
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 1: just my mentality about life, Like I looked at people

873
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:35,439
Speaker 1: like Alan Watts, who has one of the greatest quotes

874
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 1: I've ever heard, personally says, anything you can be interested in,

875
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,799
Speaker 1: you will find others who are. And that, in and

876
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 1: of itself alone is what inspired me to be me.

877
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,319
Speaker 1: Is to be this guy who did yes has come

878
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 1: from being surrounded by drugs and guns and violence but

879
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 1: wanting to wrap about anime and sci fi and I

880
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 1: think studying great minds and reading and I'm mainly a

881
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,360
Speaker 1: visual audio person honestly, but yeah, taking the time to

882
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 1: read and just study is what helped me grow as

883
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 1: a man and a musician. I mean, I didn't even

884
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 1: graduate high school, man, I got kicked out. So it's like,

885
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: I think formal education is awesome and it's important depending

886
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 1: on where you know the trajectory of your life and

887
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:23,560
Speaker 1: where you see your path going and your career. But

888
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:26,360
Speaker 1: not for me, man, School of Hard knocks dog Like,

889
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 1: I don't know how it worked, but I'm glad it did.

890
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 1: But I also think that it's like I'm just like

891
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 1: a regular dude who made some kind of okay decisions.

892
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 1: And I also love that. You know, I always hated

893
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: teachers who spoke down on you that like, when you

894
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 1: ask a question, they almost made you feel stupid for

895
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 1: doing so. So it's like, I'm a professional at my craft.

896
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:49,399
Speaker 1: I'm a master at what I do. But in no

897
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 1: way do I ever want anybody to feel either intimidated

898
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 1: or like I think I'm so knowledgeable in my world

899
00:43:57,640 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 1: that they feel like we can't even have a conversation.

900
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,239
Speaker 1: So I think there's levels to also the vocabulary that

901
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 1: you use when having conversations with people because it's like, dude,

902
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 1: you want to be down to earth, you want to

903
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 1: be regular, but you also want to let people you know,

904
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 1: know that you know what they're talking about. So yeah,

905
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 1: for sure, it's so it's it's a great I was

906
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 1: literally just about to ask you about school off though,

907
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,760
Speaker 1: when you mentioned as going to say because you felt

908
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 1: like school gave up on you, And I think there's

909
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 1: a lot of young people that feel that way where

910
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 1: school gave up on them. And I loved what you said.

911
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 1: You're not discouraging anyone from following a traditional school pattern

912
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 1: or whatever it may be. But when when you think

913
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:36,280
Speaker 1: about school, I wonder if if if logic was to

914
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 1: set up a school, inspire a school, what would be

915
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 1: some of the exciting classes and lessons that would go

916
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: on in that school? Video game testing. That's the number

917
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 1: one I'm serious, man, because think about how long all

918
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 1: these parents were always like video games will rot your brain,

919
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 1: there's no future. And now you've got pro video gamers

920
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 1: making millions, hundreds of millions of dollars playing video games

921
00:44:57,719 --> 00:44:59,840
Speaker 1: and having fun and doing this thing. So it's like

922
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 1: I sucked at math, but me and these teachers, we

923
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 1: didn't speak the same language. You know. These are people

924
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 1: who want to make a difference in a kid's life,

925
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 1: but has no idea that his mother is suffering from

926
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 1: this insane mental illness or how to deal with that.

927
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:15,799
Speaker 1: It's like there was no real line of communication and

928
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: understanding between me and these people who are supposed to

929
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 1: essentially teach me not only about you know, academics, but

930
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 1: life in many ways. So I wish I had somebody

931
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:28,040
Speaker 1: who spoke my language. I wish I had somebody who understood,

932
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 1: Oh wow, like this kid really likes video games. Have

933
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 1: you ever thought about coding video games? What do you mean?

934
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,320
Speaker 1: What are you talking about coding video games? Well, creating

935
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 1: this world? What are you talking about? Well, it's all binary,

936
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: it's ones and zeros, it's math. Yeah, but if you

937
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:44,240
Speaker 1: actually focus on math, you could engineer an entire world

938
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:47,719
Speaker 1: that a video game takes place in. Well you don't say, like,

939
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 1: it's like I never had that conversation. It was just

940
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:55,760
Speaker 1: do algebra or drop out, and that was very difficult. Yeah.

941
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 1: I think that's small. I couldn't agree more. I think

942
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 1: I was grow up thinking I didn't know that any

943
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:05,920
Speaker 1: other industry has existed from medicine, law, and finance. Like

944
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 1: beyond that, I didn't even know there was a potential

945
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 1: to have another job because I didn't meet anyone outside

946
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: of those industries, and I didn't know anyone who had

947
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 1: been accomplished or successful outside of those industries. And so

948
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 1: you end up just going, well, well, then these are

949
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,839
Speaker 1: just my three options. And I think there is such

950
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 1: a limitation placed on that because you're just unaware when

951
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:30,319
Speaker 1: you think about now, obviously you've made it in an

952
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 1: industry which is highly competitive, it's difficult, it's saturated. It's

953
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:39,479
Speaker 1: like every kid's dream to want to be a rapper

954
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:43,359
Speaker 1: out their music or their song be heard. Yeah, when

955
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:47,320
Speaker 1: you go back to the days when it wasn't working musically,

956
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:53,799
Speaker 1: what was the thing that kept you going? Was it

957
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 1: that you were chasing a deal or a hit or

958
00:46:57,680 --> 00:46:59,360
Speaker 1: was it that you just loved it so much that

959
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:01,840
Speaker 1: you just believed in any way? Where was that what

960
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:07,440
Speaker 1: kept you going? Probably craziness, because it's like you have

961
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:09,359
Speaker 1: to be crazy to think, oh, I'm gonna make it

962
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 1: as a rapper. But the difference with me, though, is

963
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:16,200
Speaker 1: like I looked at it from a business standpoint, Like

964
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, if I could take a brand myself,

965
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 1: be myself, be honest. I feel like there's not really

966
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 1: a lot of me in rap, and there's not really

967
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 1: a lot of me in major rap or major music,

968
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 1: mainstream music. So I want to fill that void. And

969
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:34,799
Speaker 1: as I started to write these songs where I'm like,

970
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 1: believe in yourself, peace, love and positivity. You can do it.

971
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 1: You can be whatever you want. Like people started engaging

972
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 1: with that and we're like, wow, this isn't just the

973
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: traditional what is rap or what is this or that

974
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:46,319
Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be. And I don't say

975
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:50,360
Speaker 1: that any any negative connotation or anything. You know, It's like, literally,

976
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of rap that's kind of negative. There's

977
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,239
Speaker 1: rap that's really good. But I felt this kind of

978
00:47:55,320 --> 00:48:00,120
Speaker 1: nerdy sci fi me could break through. I don't know why.

979
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:03,359
Speaker 1: I think it was insane that to even begin to

980
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 1: think that, but it was just like week by week,

981
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 1: little by little things were improving, whether it was ten

982
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 1: extra followers on Twitter. I was also utilizing and using

983
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:15,359
Speaker 1: social media in a way that these platforms hadn't known

984
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: about it or they weren't ready for what was coming.

985
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 1: Because it was cats like me, Kendrick Lamar J Cole

986
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:25,720
Speaker 1: Macmiller was Khalifa. We were utilizing this as a space

987
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 1: where we didn't need a major label and if we

988
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:31,839
Speaker 1: put out a song that was catchy enough, people could

989
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:35,240
Speaker 1: decide what they wanted to listen to. And so radio

990
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,879
Speaker 1: was dying, MTV, all that stuff was kind of out

991
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:41,920
Speaker 1: of there, and there was just this pocket of where

992
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 1: you have these like blogs like this song is Sick

993
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 1: and two Dope Boys, and people could go to a

994
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 1: blog to find what they want and what they love,

995
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 1: and that allowed me to shine and do it and

996
00:48:57,640 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 1: the bigger I got. Yeah, there were certain things that

997
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:02,239
Speaker 1: I was chasing. I was chasing being able to go

998
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 1: on tour by myself, being able to make a lot

999
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,440
Speaker 1: of money, hopefully having a hit record. But it's funny.

1000
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: I had a very slow burning career and I amassed

1001
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 1: a lot of fans. I I was playing arenas before

1002
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 1: I ever had a hit song with one eight hundred.

1003
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 1: And it's funny because when I gave up trying to

1004
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:24,359
Speaker 1: chase the hit, I ended up making the song from

1005
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 1: my Heart the Last. Nobody would trust me. Nobody was

1006
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,720
Speaker 1: like in the studio, like, yeah, song about suicide about

1007
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,240
Speaker 1: to take over the club Dog, like nobody was thinking that. Okay,

1008
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:34,799
Speaker 1: So I made this thing from my heart and it

1009
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 1: blew up. And then after that I was just kind

1010
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:40,280
Speaker 1: of like, well, I'm here. I meane thirty million dollars

1011
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 1: that year, I was doing records with Marshmallow and Eminem

1012
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 1: and I was just like, let's go, go, go, go go.

1013
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 1: And then I realized after over a decade, I was

1014
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,840
Speaker 1: on this hamster wheel and I was doing it, and

1015
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 1: it's like, how many number ones can you have? How

1016
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:53,839
Speaker 1: many platinum plaques can you have? How many this can

1017
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 1: you have? How many that can you have. I've literally

1018
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:59,720
Speaker 1: attained and accomplished any everything that a musician could dream

1019
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:02,759
Speaker 1: too attain, with the exception of winning a Grammy, which

1020
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:05,480
Speaker 1: is merely just a glorified pat on the back. And

1021
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 1: so I had to look myself in the mirror and

1022
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 1: say why. And I've purposefully slowed down so that I

1023
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 1: can focus on my mental and physical health, so that

1024
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 1: I can focus on being there for my child and

1025
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 1: my wife, and that I can love and enjoy this

1026
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 1: life and this house that I've spent the last seventeen

1027
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:26,279
Speaker 1: years of my life building, and it is terrifying. Jake

1028
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:33,840
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be me and do me. And it's

1029
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,400
Speaker 1: not about the money, and it's about value over fear.

1030
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:39,880
Speaker 1: And I used to value money and success and being

1031
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:46,960
Speaker 1: that guy over my health and I will never do

1032
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 1: that ever again. That's beautiful, mind, well said I. Actually

1033
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 1: I'd picked out a few of your lyrics that were

1034
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:54,239
Speaker 1: my favor I want to read this one. It's from

1035
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:56,400
Speaker 1: a Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. You said, sech if

1036
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,840
Speaker 1: a blace only led me to seching for hits only

1037
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 1: led me to battle this press. I don't learn my

1038
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 1: lesson because fame never less in the pain. And you

1039
00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 1: know that lyric for me is so powerful to what

1040
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:11,480
Speaker 1: you just said right now, And I think you know

1041
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 1: for someone who has had so much success, it's it's

1042
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 1: incredible because I feel, no matter how many times you

1043
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:20,839
Speaker 1: hear that you have to go do it for yourself, right,

1044
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 1: no matter the oldest successful people I speak to in

1045
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:26,560
Speaker 1: the world, I'm like, every one of them feels exactly

1046
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 1: how you do. But every one of them will say

1047
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 1: I had to go there to be able to accept it.

1048
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:35,320
Speaker 1: But it seems like you've really allowed yourself to accept

1049
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 1: it genuinely, and your family has become such a focus.

1050
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 1: I want to hear them more about it. What does

1051
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 1: it feel like to you to be a husband, to

1052
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 1: be a father? Like we started there when we were

1053
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:49,799
Speaker 1: talking about your child. How have you prioritized that relationship

1054
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:51,759
Speaker 1: in your life? Like, what does that mean to you to,

1055
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:54,719
Speaker 1: you know, be in a relationship in a way that

1056
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 1: you'd never seen before growing up? Well, one, I just

1057
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 1: want to say, you quoted one of my favorite albums

1058
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 1: and an album that was actually commercially my least quote

1059
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 1: unquote successful album because of the things I was discussing

1060
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:09,279
Speaker 1: on that album, and yet it's still to this date,

1061
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 1: my most popular album. It's really funny how that works.

1062
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 1: So I just want to say that my relationship with

1063
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:19,880
Speaker 1: my son and my wife just family. It's the greatest

1064
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:25,359
Speaker 1: thing in the world because when I was going through

1065
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,399
Speaker 1: things or feeling a certain way, you just look at

1066
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 1: this child and you go, my kid is healthy. So

1067
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:36,320
Speaker 1: so what if somebody on the internet's like, you're not black?

1068
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,840
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? It's like, my wife is happy.

1069
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 1: So what if somebody on the internet's like you suck

1070
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:46,840
Speaker 1: at rapping? Like it's these things are so minuscule and

1071
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 1: they don't matter. And I'm looking at what actually matters,

1072
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:54,520
Speaker 1: but it is difficult, once again to know. But it

1073
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:57,680
Speaker 1: comes down to value over fear. There is fear that

1074
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:00,840
Speaker 1: me stepping away, I may not be as big because

1075
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 1: I'm focusing on my family and my personal ment in

1076
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:08,680
Speaker 1: physical and mental health. But I value that so much

1077
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:10,319
Speaker 1: more than the fear of what could come. I mean,

1078
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 1: i haven't been on the Internet in two years, and

1079
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 1: I've only ever jumped in if I like grab my

1080
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,919
Speaker 1: assistants phone just to like tweet something, and I could

1081
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:20,799
Speaker 1: tweet something and as soon as it goes up, I

1082
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 1: get like auto responses. And a couple of weeks ago,

1083
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:26,880
Speaker 1: I was posting because I did the I narrated the

1084
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:31,279
Speaker 1: entire book This Bright Future, and I posted something and

1085
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 1: somebody immediately was like, you fell off hard, And I'm

1086
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:37,680
Speaker 1: in my head like I just dropped an album last

1087
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 1: year and it's sold two hundred and fifty thousand units

1088
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 1: in a week. Is that fallen off? Like? You know

1089
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,760
Speaker 1: what I mean? And then I remember what the internet

1090
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 1: does to you, and it makes you question yourself and

1091
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,319
Speaker 1: second guess yourself, and it's also very paid to play.

1092
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 1: The less time I spend on Instagram, if I have

1093
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 1: six plus million followers. Every time I post, I don't

1094
00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:03,800
Speaker 1: see the same mount of love or or or likes

1095
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,400
Speaker 1: or views that I used to because I'm not constantly

1096
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 1: on it anymore. So now I literally either have to

1097
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:11,319
Speaker 1: pay for ads and space to get all this. It's

1098
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:13,600
Speaker 1: just kind of like a sick thing where if you

1099
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:18,359
Speaker 1: pull away, you can't leave where you kind of left off.

1100
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 1: But once again, I look at my boy and I

1101
00:54:21,719 --> 00:54:25,839
Speaker 1: realize that it's the Matrix man, Like none of that matters. Also,

1102
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:29,439
Speaker 1: I'm excited for that new Matrix movie coming out. Yeah, yeah,

1103
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:33,640
Speaker 1: shout out to the Matrix movie. But no, I really appreciate,

1104
00:54:34,239 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 1: I really appreciate hearing that from you, because I think

1105
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:40,600
Speaker 1: as creatives, whatever space we're in, everyone everyone focuses on

1106
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:46,800
Speaker 1: that feeling of being becoming irrelevant. And I personally believe

1107
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 1: that the time you take out to rediscover yourself allows

1108
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 1: you to reinvent who you are and your new creativity

1109
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:58,240
Speaker 1: and define a genre and change a genre and upgrade,

1110
00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:00,600
Speaker 1: and I feel like it's all level right, Like you

1111
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:03,160
Speaker 1: can have someone who does the same thing every day,

1112
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:07,359
Speaker 1: all day, every year, or you see those people that

1113
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 1: have been relevant every decade because they took it to

1114
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:14,239
Speaker 1: another level. Right, They did something different, they did something

1115
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:17,680
Speaker 1: more innovative, they did something surprising, and both of them.

1116
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:19,799
Speaker 1: I respect both of them. I'm not saying one's better

1117
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:21,880
Speaker 1: than the other, but what I am saying, yeah, but

1118
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:24,080
Speaker 1: I want the ladder Man. Yeah right, I want to

1119
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:26,000
Speaker 1: be Bowie and Queen like I don't want to just

1120
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:28,439
Speaker 1: you're right, like I don't want to just be out

1121
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:31,879
Speaker 1: here like working myself to death. I'm sorry. I don't

1122
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 1: mean to cut you off, but I just so I

1123
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 1: agree with what you're saying, but it's just so scary,

1124
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:39,120
Speaker 1: especially in rap, where it's like you're either on all

1125
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 1: the time or you're not. But I'm gonna be honest, Jay,

1126
00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:45,319
Speaker 1: like I haven't. I'm not excited. There's no there's not

1127
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 1: an ounce in me that feels like touring right now

1128
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:50,920
Speaker 1: that feels like really going hard and like promoting an

1129
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 1: album like I don't want to do that. And if

1130
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that, then I shouldn't. I

1131
00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 1: should wait until the music is there. I am excited

1132
00:55:57,760 --> 00:55:59,799
Speaker 1: and I cannot wait to go out and do it.

1133
00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:04,840
Speaker 1: I think I've dropped up one minimum sometimes two projects

1134
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 1: a year for the last twelve years of my life. Wow,

1135
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to chill out. Yeah, well, I

1136
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,799
Speaker 1: think that's the trade off, right, Like when people hear that,

1137
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:16,879
Speaker 1: if you're at the beginning of your journey and you're

1138
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:19,719
Speaker 1: listening to Bobby right now and you're going, oh, yeah,

1139
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:21,840
Speaker 1: he's right, let me just lay back and let me

1140
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:25,080
Speaker 1: take my time, that probably is bad advice because at

1141
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:26,640
Speaker 1: that time in your life, in that phase. And I

1142
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:28,600
Speaker 1: always say that people don't look at what people are

1143
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,040
Speaker 1: doing at their stage, look at what they did at

1144
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 1: your phase, Like, look at what they did in when

1145
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:36,120
Speaker 1: they were your age, when they were in your time,

1146
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:39,319
Speaker 1: when they were just beginning, because you know, that's the

1147
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:43,200
Speaker 1: difference that you've now earned a platform you worked hard for,

1148
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 1: that you built that, and that now gives you the

1149
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 1: flexibility to adapt and reinvent and recreate and focus on

1150
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:53,279
Speaker 1: your family, whereas there was a time when all you

1151
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 1: had to do was give it all you had because

1152
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 1: you had to be present. And so I and I

1153
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,000
Speaker 1: think the mistake is what you said. It's almost like

1154
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:02,080
Speaker 1: what you call like like broke mindset almost where you

1155
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 1: continue to live like you don't have anything right and

1156
00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:11,520
Speaker 1: if you continue to live that way mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually,

1157
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 1: then you can't sustain that. And I think that's what happens,

1158
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 1: is that when you're on that journey upwards, if you

1159
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 1: don't at one point realize, oh no, now I do

1160
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 1: need to start investing in my health. I do need

1161
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:23,919
Speaker 1: to start investing in my mind. I do need to start.

1162
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:27,480
Speaker 1: It's like athletes. The athletes that have lasted are athletes

1163
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 1: that realized after they want everything that they needed to

1164
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 1: eat right, they needed to sleep right, they needed to

1165
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 1: change their fitness schedule, and that's where they people like

1166
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 1: Tom Brady still playing right, Christiano Ronaldo in Europe, if

1167
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 1: you're a soccer fan, still playing at thirty six at

1168
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:42,800
Speaker 1: the top of the game. So I feel like that's

1169
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 1: what you see these shifts in leaders, if that makes sense. Yeah,

1170
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 1: you just snapped so hard that's all the sets of

1171
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 1: the world. Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree with that statement. Thank

1172
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 1: you man. Well, I appreciate you're gonna We're gonna go

1173
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 1: to You've been very generous with your time. We end

1174
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:02,320
Speaker 1: every up a segment with a final five. So this

1175
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 1: is a fast five, rapid fire around where every question

1176
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 1: has to be answered in one word or one sentence

1177
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:13,880
Speaker 1: maximum easy for a freestyle rapper and a musician, and

1178
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 1: you can answer in lyrics if you like to. Yeah.

1179
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 1: So the first question is what is the best advice

1180
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:25,240
Speaker 1: you've ever received or given? Be yourself? What is the

1181
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:31,720
Speaker 1: worst advice you've ever received? Be yourself? I'm seriously so

1182
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:35,320
Speaker 1: that depends on who you are. Now tell me to explain,

1183
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:37,400
Speaker 1: explain the why it can be the worst. I'll give

1184
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 1: you up more words. I think it's the best, and

1185
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:46,720
Speaker 1: it's really incredible because you are not a fraud. You

1186
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 1: are yourself. Undoubtedly you are you, and that is amazing.

1187
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:54,640
Speaker 1: But also when you are yourself, at least in my genre,

1188
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:56,920
Speaker 1: and you put your whole life in a book, and

1189
00:58:56,960 --> 00:59:00,120
Speaker 1: you put your whole everything that you are, your of

1190
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 1: your passion and to records, and it's you. It's not

1191
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:06,920
Speaker 1: a persona, it's not you're not an actor playing you know,

1192
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 1: a role that just wasn't received well in this movie,

1193
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 1: and you're Brad Pitt and you go on to make

1194
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:14,360
Speaker 1: a bunch of other like you're you. So when your

1195
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:17,120
Speaker 1: highs are high, they're high, and when they're low, they're low.

1196
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:19,960
Speaker 1: And when you are yourself, you're not always loved, or

1197
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 1: you might be kicked and you know, pulled down to

1198
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:25,040
Speaker 1: the pits of hell. But at the same time, being

1199
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:28,880
Speaker 1: yourself can open up Heaven's gates. So it's it was

1200
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:31,400
Speaker 1: I know it's crazy, but you said fire off rapidly.

1201
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 1: Those two are difficult. Yeah, it's great, all right. Question

1202
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 1: number three. If you could have a dinner party, but

1203
00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:39,640
Speaker 1: three other people who denn are alive, who would they be?

1204
00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:43,840
Speaker 1: Be yourself? No, I'm just kidding. It would be Um.

1205
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 1: I would have to say Quentin Tarantino. Um, hold on,

1206
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:59,200
Speaker 1: let me think dinner party. Oh m, Freddie Mercury. Oh man, dude,

1207
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:02,440
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, happy, I love Freddie Mercury and Queen I

1208
01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 1: was not expecting the best, and probably Carl Sagan. I

1209
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:13,080
Speaker 1: want to I want to be. I want to be.

1210
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,280
Speaker 1: I want to be a fly on the one of

1211
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,720
Speaker 1: that dinner, either either Carl Sagan or Malcolm X. That

1212
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:19,520
Speaker 1: would be the most Y know, Tarantino and Malcolm X.

1213
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 1: That's a wild conversation. Oh yeah, anyway, that would be No,

1214
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:26,240
Speaker 1: that'd be amazing. I was asked that question this week

1215
01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:29,920
Speaker 1: by I was doing a corporate event Q and A

1216
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,880
Speaker 1: would target and rehab from Target asked me that question,

1217
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:35,720
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, that's a really cool question.

1218
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 1: I want to know who else everyone would want to

1219
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:40,160
Speaker 1: sit down with, I said, was yours? I said, Steve Jobs,

1220
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 1: Einstein and Martin Luther King. Those are my three. I

1221
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 1: was like, those those minds in the same room would

1222
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:48,960
Speaker 1: be would be fascinating. All right. Question number four, what

1223
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:52,480
Speaker 1: is the biggest lesson you've learned in the last twelve months?

1224
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:59,840
Speaker 1: Really being happy with yourself and knowing like knowing your

1225
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:04,480
Speaker 1: self worth and just knowing what's important. And that's what

1226
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 1: my time, my family, my health. That's what I've really

1227
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:10,800
Speaker 1: really learned in these last twelve months. I love that,

1228
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:13,400
Speaker 1: all right. In fifth and final question, if you could

1229
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:16,160
Speaker 1: create one law that everyone in the world had to follow,

1230
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 1: what would it be. There's so many things, but honestly,

1231
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:22,720
Speaker 1: the first one that comes is to just abolish guns.

1232
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 1: I just wish guns didn't exist. I wish I didn't

1233
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 1: need them. I wish people didn't need them. It would

1234
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:29,640
Speaker 1: be amazing if they were just all gone. It'd be

1235
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:32,600
Speaker 1: a lot of stabbings, but at least, you know, it

1236
01:01:32,640 --> 01:01:35,280
Speaker 1: wouldn't be like, yeah, so I would that'd be great.

1237
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:38,240
Speaker 1: If if all these mass shootings and things like that

1238
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:41,560
Speaker 1: could stop in wars. But I mean it's a fairy tale,

1239
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:44,720
Speaker 1: but that's what I would do. Amazing. Thank you man, everyone,

1240
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:48,439
Speaker 1: Bobby hall Ak Logic This Bright Future. That's the book.

1241
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 1: We're gonna put it the link in all the comments,

1242
01:01:50,240 --> 01:01:51,959
Speaker 1: the captions. I want you to go out and grab

1243
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:56,240
Speaker 1: a copy, read it, devour it. You're gonna love it.

1244
01:01:56,240 --> 01:02:01,160
Speaker 1: It's it's poetry, it's it's vulnerable, and it's a book

1245
01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:02,600
Speaker 1: that I truly think is going to change the way

1246
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 1: people think about parenting relationships and how they spend their life,

1247
01:02:06,880 --> 01:02:09,040
Speaker 1: in their legacy and what they chase. So Bobby, I

1248
01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 1: want to say a big thank you to you for

1249
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:12,440
Speaker 1: not just doing this podcast, but for writing this book.

1250
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 1: I appreciate you. I hope we get to bump into

1251
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:16,560
Speaker 1: a few bump into each other a few more airports,

1252
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:19,520
Speaker 1: but also some dinners and whatever else, and give my

1253
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:22,160
Speaker 1: love to Peppe and the rest of the team and

1254
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:25,200
Speaker 1: send me his address. I want to send him something.

1255
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,959
Speaker 1: But thank you so much, man. I appreciate you and

1256
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:29,800
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for this time. I just want

1257
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:31,600
Speaker 1: to say thank you for having me, and thank you

1258
01:02:31,640 --> 01:02:35,080
Speaker 1: to everybody watching and listening. It means a lot. Sometimes

1259
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:37,240
Speaker 1: I wake up I can't believe that I even get

1260
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:39,680
Speaker 1: to have conversations with people like you. I feel lucky.

1261
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:42,520
Speaker 1: I'm super blessed, and I just want to thank you

1262
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:46,880
Speaker 1: all everyone involved, producers, people behind the camera, everybody. Thank

1263
01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:49,560
Speaker 1: you so much for making this possible. And I really

1264
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:52,080
Speaker 1: appreciate you guys. So hopefully we could do this again.

1265
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:54,600
Speaker 1: And yeah, man, I'd love to have dinner sometime. Let's yeah, man,

1266
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:56,320
Speaker 1: it'd be good to get together. Thank you so much,

1267
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Speaker 1: Thanks everyone for listening. I want to make sure that

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Speaker 1: if you've heard anything from Bobby that resonated today, make

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Speaker 1: sure you do tag us on Instagram and Twitter. Let

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Speaker 1: us know what connected, what resonated, any of the wisdom

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Speaker 1: bites that he shared with you. We'd both love to see. Well,

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Speaker 1: he won't see it, but I'll definitely see it. I'd

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Speaker 1: love to see what resonated with you. Thanks everyone for

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Speaker 1: listening on purpose. We'll see you again next week.