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Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Rashon McDonald.

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Speaker 2: Our host is weekly Money Making Conversation Masterclass show. The

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Speaker 2: interviews and information that this show provides offer everyone it's

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Speaker 2: time to start reading other people's success stories and start

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Speaker 2: living your own.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about you now.

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Speaker 2: If you want to be a guest on my show,

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Speaker 2: Money Making Conversations Masterclass, please visit our website, Moneymakingconversations dot

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Speaker 2: com and click to be a guest. But if you're

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Speaker 2: a small business owner, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, influencer, a nonprofit, now,

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Speaker 2: let's get this show rolling. My guess is a certified

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Speaker 2: neuroscience coach, criminal justice professor, author and mentor who has

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Speaker 2: dedicated her life to helping others rise above self doubt, fear,

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Speaker 2: and circumstance to live in their full power.

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Speaker 1: She is the.

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Speaker 2: Founder of one Million Lives Transform, a global movement helping

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Speaker 2: women unmute their voices and lead with authenticity, confidence and purpose.

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Speaker 2: Please welcome to Money Making Conversations Masterclass, Doctor Stephanie Wall.

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Speaker 1: How you doing, doctor Stephanie?

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Speaker 3: Hey, how are you doing with Shaan? Listen? Thank you

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Speaker 3: for that? Oh I just wanted to hear one more time.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know when you got the credits. They are legitimate.

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Speaker 2: They just roll off my lips. He I'm telling you

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Speaker 2: something else about Dr wal It was more. I had

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Speaker 2: to cut it down. I had to cut it down

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Speaker 2: because I can't I have a thirty minute show. I

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Speaker 2: can't be introduced you m for five minutes. So I

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Speaker 2: went to win the highlights. And I think that you

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Speaker 2: get a clear understanding with this interview. When I say

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Speaker 2: the word mentor, she means it. When I talk about

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Speaker 2: transformative thought process and helping people achieve their next level

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Speaker 2: of opportunity, she does that. With that being said, let's

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Speaker 2: talk about your criminal justice professor.

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Speaker 1: Talk to us about that.

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Speaker 3: So you know I for twenty years.

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Speaker 4: I actually served in law enforcement when I retired, and

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Speaker 4: while I was there, I was a professor at our

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Speaker 4: local university here in Maryland, one of them, and I

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Speaker 4: still serve because here's the thing, when you work in

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Speaker 4: the field, more people complain about how people are serving

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Speaker 4: in law enforcement. Right, I served well for twenty years.

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Speaker 4: We're still very proud of it. Folks are still talking

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Speaker 4: about raving. But I wanted to teach people how to

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Speaker 4: serve the right way, so not once I retired, I

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Speaker 4: didn't stop teaching at the University of Levels. I teach leaders,

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Speaker 4: chief of police, of commanders, and those who are just

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Speaker 4: getting into law enforcement not only the laws, but how

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Speaker 4: to ethically.

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Speaker 3: Serve in those positions.

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Speaker 2: Now you're an interesting place. You're in that Maryland, DC area, right, correct? Okay,

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Speaker 2: I gotta ask the question about it. But for our

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Speaker 2: President Trump is doing with the National Guard a lot

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Speaker 2: of people. I've been there, in and out. I'll be

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Speaker 2: honest with you, I really don't see him. I don't

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Speaker 2: know where he has the post of that. I come

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Speaker 2: in via the Reagan Airport. I've taken the Amtrak's train

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Speaker 2: in several times. So what is he accomplishing? You're there,

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Speaker 2: you know you have a background of criminal justice as

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Speaker 2: a professor. What is the perception and do you feel

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Speaker 2: it was necessary?

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Speaker 3: I'm going to.

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Speaker 4: Say, out the gate is my girl, Sonya was saying

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Speaker 4: Sony PRUITTZ right, who's all all over national television talking

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Speaker 4: about she also is a retired commander.

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Speaker 3: This is this posturing.

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Speaker 4: And I'm going to tell you I was in Washington

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Speaker 4: and where if you go.

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Speaker 3: To some of the museums, right, if you.

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Speaker 4: Go to some of those places that you really not

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Speaker 4: even museums anything. There's a federal building, you may see somebody.

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Speaker 3: In uniform one or two. Because this is where I

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Speaker 3: saw them.

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Speaker 4: They look like security guards standing in front of a building.

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Speaker 4: And they even looked like, why am I here? Very uncomfortable?

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Speaker 4: This is I'm going to tell you, it's a bunch

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Speaker 4: of part strength and want I want us not to

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Speaker 4: get distracted. Right, this is a this is a distraction

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Speaker 4: from some other stuff. And I'm going to tell you

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Speaker 4: that it has nothing to do with law enforcement enforcing

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Speaker 4: any laws because there's nothing going on right, nothing that

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Speaker 4: the local police can't handle. And I'm going to tell

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Speaker 4: you for most of the local police, they don't like

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Speaker 4: it either.

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Speaker 3: They just know.

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Speaker 4: But hey, right, some of them are I guess just

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Speaker 4: keeping their mouths closed.

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Speaker 3: I guess.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to educate people about the National Guard.

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Speaker 2: A National Guard are as close to regular everyday people

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Speaker 2: as you can get, okay, And so basically you're taking

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Speaker 2: people away from their normal lifestyle because anybody who studs

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Speaker 2: us with the National Guard, yes they want to serve

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Speaker 2: their country, but yes they have an everyday lifestyle and

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Speaker 2: the benefits of that everyday lifestyle from being uh some

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Speaker 2: people called weekend warrior.

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Speaker 1: And so now you put you use the word uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: You're absolutely correct, I do believe because when your mindset,

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Speaker 2: if you're going to serve, you're going to and enforced

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Speaker 2: things out of this country, not serving people that are

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Speaker 2: your maybe your neighbors.

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Speaker 4: Correct, some of them are were and or were federal workers.

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Speaker 4: Right now you've been called for this and or you

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Speaker 4: the palmer, the teacher, right whatever, the person brook at

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Speaker 4: the car dealership. But today you've been called up and

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Speaker 4: cold to duty. But you were not last time you

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Speaker 4: was doing doing anything with two weeks ago and one

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Speaker 4: two months ago on the weekend or those two weeks

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Speaker 4: a year that you've been serving.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, I just wanted to get your

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Speaker 2: feel on it and just expose some information to my audience.

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Speaker 2: If they are interested in traveling to uh DC the

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Speaker 2: holidays are coming up, please go uh Like I said,

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Speaker 2: I was not stressed. I was not putting the pace

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Speaker 2: of endangerment. I was not uncomfortable and my many travels.

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Speaker 2: In fact, I'd be going there uh next month and

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Speaker 2: also the following month. So again let's talked about you,

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Speaker 2: doctor Stefan wrong. You've often talked about unmuting your voice.

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Speaker 2: What does that mean?

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Speaker 3: Listen?

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Speaker 4: I was once and like everybody else, we have all

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Speaker 4: experienced things in our lives, periods and our lives when

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Speaker 4: we have lost our voice. And when I say lost

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Speaker 4: our voice, lost our ability to speak our truths, or

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Speaker 4: for whatever from some people call it imposter syndrome. Some

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Speaker 4: people call it just you just haven't your your self

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Speaker 4: conscious has been or your self awareness or you somehow

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Speaker 4: your self esteem has been challenged.

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Speaker 3: So now you just stop talking.

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Speaker 4: So before we could even deal with why you stopped,

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Speaker 4: you muted yourself. I would use the example of myself

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Speaker 4: and many other women as we got elevated. Sometimes we

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Speaker 4: put people in positions and we don't prepare them with

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Speaker 4: the mindset for the position. So when we get in

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Speaker 4: that room, we don't think we belong in there. So

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Speaker 4: we just sit in the room. We have the answer

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Speaker 4: to the question, but we're not opening our.

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Speaker 1: Mouths Now, I've been there, I've been there. I think

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Speaker 1: that your mind can raise You don't know. You don't

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Speaker 1: want to be embarrassed one.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to saying anything that will be people

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Speaker 2: can question your ability to lead. Now, but you have

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Speaker 2: been placed in that position. So I have you on

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Speaker 2: this show to help us with some techniques and also

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Speaker 2: how to unmute ourselves in those situations, because that situation

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Speaker 2: happens in a lot of situations. You can get a

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Speaker 2: bad beat a restaurant and the meal that's been served

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Speaker 2: to you is not a good meal, but you mute

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Speaker 2: yourself and pay the bill, maybe even tip, and walk

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Speaker 2: out the restaurant instead of saying, excuse me, this is

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Speaker 2: not quality service, this is not a good meal. Can

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Speaker 2: I speak to somebody? So I just want to let

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Speaker 2: everybody know what you're talking about is not just an

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Speaker 2: employment situations, it's in relationships.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot of things.

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Speaker 2: So talk to us how each situation one should be

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Speaker 2: able to not so much be challenged, but be honest

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Speaker 2: with your situation exactly.

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Speaker 3: So I'm going to tell you I like the music

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Speaker 3: that start with awareness.

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Speaker 4: Noticed in that moment that you are meeting yourself, Notice

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Speaker 4: right then and there.

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Speaker 3: So if in using that example, I mean I've been

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Speaker 3: there too.

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Speaker 4: I've been there, been in that restaurant and have paid

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Speaker 4: that money and instead of and then get complained about

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Speaker 4: it all the way home. So it's okay, it's okay

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Speaker 4: at tip, yes and tip? And notice is this a habit?

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Speaker 4: Is this something that I do all the time? And

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Speaker 4: how can I change it? And you know that he

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Speaker 4: is the deal? Notice it and breathe because sometimes we

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Speaker 4: just stop breathing. Breathing that moment, think it for you

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Speaker 4: got a couple of seconds. Hey what else can I

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Speaker 4: do differently? And you can talk to the person, say hey, listen,

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Speaker 4: if if.

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Speaker 3: The way that sucked, maybe you.

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Speaker 4: Know, I want to talk to the waiter, but if

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Speaker 4: it's somebody else, hey, I like to speak.

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Speaker 3: Hey, just have a moment. Please speak to the manager.

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Speaker 2: Right, but some people will who you with will mute. You.

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Speaker 2: Don't say nothing, don't say nothing. Don't make us see

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Speaker 2: have you? Don't make us seen? All you trying to

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Speaker 2: do is have a conversation.

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Speaker 3: Sure do you say, I'm not gonna make a scene.

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Speaker 4: I'm not gonna make a see I'm having a comm

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Speaker 4: say you know what, listen and this is where you

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Speaker 4: got to You got to manage the group.

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Speaker 3: Yes, you gotta manage the group. You got to lean

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Speaker 3: in because here's the day. There's a scene.

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Speaker 4: And when you just ask, like you know the feeld

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Speaker 4: Fel found right, I know how you feel what I'm

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Speaker 4: gonna do, because if we don't.

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Speaker 3: Do this right now, I would probably feel the same way.

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Speaker 3: But you know what I found right.

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Speaker 4: You have to manage the group and let them know.

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Speaker 4: If listen, I hear what you're saying. But if we

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Speaker 4: don't say anything, then this business will not elevate. This

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Speaker 4: person may not know that they the service they're providing

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Speaker 4: is not good service, and they may not keep this job,

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Speaker 4: and they might need you know how to get them

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Speaker 4: get into their head a little bit. Say look, I'm

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Speaker 4: not gonna make no scene, but I am gonna make

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Speaker 4: somebody aware.

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Speaker 3: Look, listen on your face.

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Speaker 4: Now you might have to lean in, you know, but

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Speaker 4: you have to say something if leive me. I always

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Speaker 4: use this example when and I teach I'm a man, woman,

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Speaker 4: child on good care who it is. When you not

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Speaker 4: you don't feel your.

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Speaker 3: Own purpose and power, you can't stand in it.

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Speaker 4: An example would be when you're in a meeting now,

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Speaker 4: particularly women, and we're in a big conference room in

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Speaker 4: it and you're the only woman at the table, and

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Speaker 4: you get ready to make your point. I tell them

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Speaker 4: to stand up. Stand up when you speak, stand up,

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Speaker 4: and one everybody in the rooms because they're on their phones.

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Speaker 4: They're gonna turn around like, what is stuff you commanding

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Speaker 4: their attention? Then also, well just stand on up and

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Speaker 4: make your point and then sit back down. Now, what's

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Speaker 4: gonna cause one, it's gonna help me to project because

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Speaker 4: you didn't help the sound to come out. It's gonna

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Speaker 4: help you to project, especially for those people that can't

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Speaker 4: raise their voices, they don't project well, stand up saying

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Speaker 4: it's gonna make you feel a little more powerful, You

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Speaker 4: feel a little bit more confident. You will turn your

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Speaker 4: body around, you will address everybody in the room. You

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Speaker 4: will look more confident. Because what's the problem is oftentimes

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Speaker 4: those people want to elevate in their positions, but what

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Speaker 4: the people that are watching them seeing them do is shrink.

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Speaker 4: But when you stand up, you standing full and full.

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Speaker 3: And they said, well, you know what, maybe she can lead.

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Speaker 3: She commanded this room.

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Speaker 2: Right right now, there's some techniques to just don't just

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Speaker 2: stand up, stand up, you know, stand up. I have

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Speaker 2: a few words I want to share, I have some

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Speaker 2: thoughts I want to add to that. Yes, push back

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Speaker 2: when you're talking, push back and then stand up. Don't

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Speaker 2: just stand up and start talking that's gonna shock right yeah.

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Speaker 4: And if ra Shawn just made a point, you build

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Speaker 4: on it. And you know what, I just want to

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Speaker 4: be that was a great point that Rashawn just made.

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Speaker 3: Thank you Rashaun.

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Speaker 4: I'd like to build on that if you were you know,

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Speaker 4: acknowledge the great point.

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Speaker 3: Don't just ask like you're the only one in the room.

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Speaker 3: Got a good point to make.

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Speaker 4: They will then Shawn will say, oh, right now, she

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Speaker 4: will give you his attention.

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Speaker 3: Y'all heard what she just said. She's both on her point.

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Speaker 2: All right now, y'all get to listen right now. I

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Speaker 2: know this now because I've done this. Definitely you're gonna

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Speaker 2: get teased afterwards. Now, Oh you have to stand up

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Speaker 2: making your or you just couldn't sit down to make

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Speaker 2: your point. But guess what, they remember that moment. But

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Speaker 2: that levels into consistency because I love the whole conversation

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Speaker 2: about unmuting your voice, but understanding the situation around you

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Speaker 2: can create you not to unmute your voice, but then

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Speaker 2: other people, your coworkers, your who you're married to, who

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Speaker 2: you dating, or your friends, they can also mute your voice.

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Speaker 1: And so you have to be comfortable enough.

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Speaker 2: Like you said, to be able to say, allow me

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Speaker 2: to say this and you and what.

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Speaker 4: It is, and thank you for that, Rashaan, because what

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Speaker 4: you are rewriting the narrative right when I said the narrative,

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Speaker 4: what you tell yourself about yourself, because sometimes I'm.

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Speaker 3: Gonna say for you, rion one.

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Speaker 4: I was muted because I believe because somebody told me

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Speaker 4: you ain't got nothing to say, I'm not gonna listen

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Speaker 4: to you, and I believed it, right, so tell I

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Speaker 4: said myself, Okay, I got something to say. And of

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Speaker 4: course there was you talked too fast, your voice too.

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Speaker 3: Heavy, and I was like I talked, I.

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Speaker 4: Talked with zest, and my voice is not too heavy,

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Speaker 4: it's sultry. So I had to I had to rewrite

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Speaker 4: the narrative of what I believed about myself.

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Speaker 3: And I found I'm not the only one.

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Speaker 1: Right right, right, right right.

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Speaker 2: But you know, the thing about it is understanding criticism,

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Speaker 2: because criticism can't be a challenge.

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Speaker 1: I know that. I remember a long.

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Speaker 2: Time ago because I started my career out as a

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Speaker 2: stand up comedian, and I remember I would go on

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Speaker 2: stage and I would get what I felt tremendous laughs.

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Speaker 2: And I remember the owner I remember his name, Paul Menzel.

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Speaker 2: He called me and decided to Shawn, you could be

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Speaker 2: a lot funny if people understood what you were saying.

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Speaker 2: While he said, you have this accent and people really

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Speaker 2: can't catch all your jokes. And I went, oh, okay, really,

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Speaker 2: And I remember when when when Steve Harvey now was

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Speaker 2: nobody thought he could go to New York and be

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Speaker 2: successful because they thought that that country traying ain't gonna

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Speaker 2: make it up in New York. Now he's the most

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Speaker 2: longest running host on Family Few. So people can stereotype

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Speaker 2: you and because they want to challenge you and also

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Speaker 2: intimidate you. That intimidation plays a lot a big role

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Speaker 2: into fear. Let's talk about fear, doctor Stephanie Wall.

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Speaker 4: Listen, let's talk about neuroscience tells us and that in

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Speaker 4: science period psychology, but what we tell ourselves? Right, So

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Speaker 4: I always talk about you know, what was what junk

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Speaker 4: and what is? Les Brown said, junk and junk stay right.

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Speaker 4: I used to I literally used to say junk and

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Speaker 4: junk out junk and junk out right. But then I

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Speaker 4: was like, I realized, Okay, doing my studies, it said, listen,

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Speaker 4: step what it doesn't matter with our brain, this big

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Speaker 4: computer that we have here, all of the things that

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Speaker 4: come we feed our minds, all the things that I

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Speaker 4: say to myself is more important.

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Speaker 3: It does more.

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Speaker 4: Damage to me than anything anybody in the world could

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Speaker 4: say to me or I could read in a book.

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Speaker 4: And so I have changed about if I want to

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Speaker 4: change something about myself, every time I had to change

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Speaker 4: the people I was around, the things I was listening to,

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Speaker 4: and get into rooms with people who were talking about

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Speaker 4: things that I wanted to learn versus the junk I

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Speaker 4: was feeding myself. So I'm going to tell you that

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Speaker 4: in mindset, I know we also we keep hearing the

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Speaker 4: same moment like, well, okay, mindset, mindset, But it really

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Speaker 4: is about mindset. Really, it really is about what you

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Speaker 4: believe about yourself. It really is about what you hear

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Speaker 4: over and over again. If you tell a child, if

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Speaker 4: you tell any child you're bad, you're just so bad,

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Speaker 4: you're bad, they will be bad.

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Speaker 3: They will rise to the occasion.

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Speaker 4: But just the same if you tell any human I

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Speaker 4: d double days. We used to like to say, go

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Speaker 4: out there with your employees, the people that you serve,

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Speaker 4: your family, and your friends and speak life into them.

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Speaker 4: Just to make it simple, to take the science out

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Speaker 4: of it, speak life into them, change what you say

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Speaker 4: to them about themselves.

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Speaker 3: You know, see, you know what you are the most

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Speaker 3: amazing person. I like the way you did.

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Speaker 4: Don't don't just fill no philoph talk about what it is.

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Speaker 4: I appreciate how you did this. Thank you for helping

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Speaker 4: me with this. You made me really understand it because

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Speaker 4: the way you broke that day would be authentic. Don't

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Speaker 4: be blowing those smoke up nobodies behind so they know fakeness.

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Speaker 1: Right right and in this authenticity right now.

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Speaker 4: Correct authenticity. I don't Someone told me that steth You

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Speaker 4: know you smile a lot. I said, you know, all

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Speaker 4: of my life, all of my life, I have heard

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Speaker 4: you cannot be a real person like that, can't be

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Speaker 4: who you really are. You smile too much, You're too

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Speaker 4: happy all of the time. And what they don't.

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Speaker 3: Know is that's the version they do of me now

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Speaker 3: as an adult. But I didn't used to smile right right.

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Speaker 3: Life was rough.

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Speaker 4: I was trying to figure out why I was my

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Speaker 4: life different than all the other kids. And so once

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Speaker 4: I realized, you know, oh my, that's what the smile about.

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Speaker 4: I smile, I told somebody today. I know life is

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Speaker 4: rough right now in this world. This world is crazy,

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Speaker 4: and I can focus on that, or I can look

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Speaker 4: out right now, I can see the blue skies. I'm

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Speaker 4: focusing on what right now in this moment, on the

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Speaker 4: great people and the great things and the blessings I'm

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Speaker 4: having right now, and that makes me smile, and my smile,

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Speaker 4: this smile makes other people smile right right, and that

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Speaker 4: makes me and them feel good. So I'm saying it

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Speaker 4: doesn't have to be this big elaborate thing. Do you know,

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Speaker 4: when I'm walking into any place I do business, if

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Speaker 4: the person I'm doing business smiles at me, I'll I

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Speaker 4: can't every time I do the same thing. And I'm serious,

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Speaker 4: I mean it. Thank you for Shane. You smiled me

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Speaker 4: and they smile. And it's because people will give me

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Speaker 4: mean looks all the time.

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Speaker 3: It's not them, it's the situation.

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Speaker 4: So I tried to change their moment, give them a

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Speaker 4: little bit of light in that little moment that they

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Speaker 4: have with us.

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Speaker 3: And if what would happen if all of us did

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Speaker 3: that right.

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Speaker 4: And I'm talking on your on your job and your

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Speaker 4: house with your children, And because of that, that has

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Speaker 4: changed who I am, and it changed.

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Speaker 3: And I know for a fact that wherever I.

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Speaker 4: Go, because I'm intentional, I change the spaces and the

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Speaker 4: places that I am in.

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Speaker 1: Cool.

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Speaker 2: I'm talking to certified neuroscience coach, criminal justice professor, author

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Speaker 2: and mentor. She has founded one million lives transformed. Explain

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Speaker 2: to us what that is and why did you find

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Speaker 2: found it?

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Speaker 1: Found it?

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Speaker 4: So here's the deal with Well, you know they tell us,

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Speaker 4: don't be a gatekeeper. Once I went and I mean,

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Speaker 4: I look, let me just say this.

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Speaker 3: Put the people in the bag.

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Speaker 4: I went out there and got me a coach and listen,

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Speaker 4: you may need two three four.

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Speaker 3: Coats because you know, you depend on what it was.

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Speaker 3: I realized that I needed.

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Speaker 4: To get some Sunday to how do I get something

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Speaker 4: besides my schooling, besides my schooling? How do I take

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Speaker 4: what I've learned and helped myself? How do and more importantly, once,

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Speaker 4: how do I take.

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Speaker 3: All of this?

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Speaker 4: I know I tell everybody else, but how do I

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Speaker 4: help myself? So I needed to become self aware. I

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Speaker 4: need to do all the self reflect I needed to

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Speaker 4: know how to use my voice.

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Speaker 3: Why do I think the way I do? I went

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Speaker 3: and got to help I needed.

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Speaker 4: And once I transformed myself, I realized I am a

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Speaker 4: total different person and I'm doing great things in this world.

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Speaker 4: But I'm watching a lot of people around I felt

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Speaker 4: like I had it was like a hidden secret.

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Speaker 3: So I said, I'm with you.

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Speaker 4: I launched one million livee transformed because I figured my

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Speaker 4: training is transformed one life at a time, than each

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Speaker 4: one of us together will change the lives of millions,

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Speaker 4: millions of women. To help them to listen, mute their

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Speaker 4: voices right right, all of them use their voices. They can

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Speaker 4: transform the spaces and places they're in the same way

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Speaker 4: that I'm doing. I'm not gatekeeping. I'm giving it away.

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Speaker 4: I'm giving it away.

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Speaker 1: Please don't go anywhere.

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Speaker 2: We'll be right back with more money Making Conversations Master Class.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to Money Making Conversations master Class hosted by

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Speaker 2: me Rashaan McDonald. Money Making Conversations master Class continues online

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Speaker 2: at Moneymaking Conversations dot com and follow money Making Conversations

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Speaker 2: master Class on Facebook, X and Instagram. You know you

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Speaker 2: warn many hats because I said that in my intro.

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Speaker 2: Law Enforcement Executive Professor Deacon with and brought that US

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Speaker 2: coach and mentor how do all these roles connect to

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Speaker 2: your life's purpose? And telling us what is your life purpose?

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Speaker 2: We just came off of talking about the one million's

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Speaker 2: lives transformed, but technically that isn't always the purpose of

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Speaker 2: your life?

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Speaker 1: What is your purpose?

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Speaker 2: And wearing all these hats, how do they create the

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Speaker 2: authenticity that we're hearing in this interview?

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Speaker 4: So you know, respond, it's so funny because I went

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Speaker 4: last time, I was out in US and I was

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Speaker 4: at the Speaker's UH event and you spoke and you

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Speaker 4: mentioned talked about mentor.

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Speaker 3: Oh.

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Speaker 4: I was leaning all the way in because you were

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Speaker 4: speaking my language. I said, if above all the things,

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Speaker 4: all these titles, I am.

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Speaker 3: A mentor.

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Speaker 4: And I am intentional about it. And I believe that

443
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 4: you know they I've heard it say, I want to

444
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,120
Speaker 4: say Tremember I said that our gifts are not for us,

445
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 4: there for other people and when and I know that,

446
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 4: and some of the folks say, what is my gift?

447
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 4: What's my gift? And I believe, I believe, based on

448
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 4: my faith, that those gifts are those things that you

449
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 4: do that come naturally to you, you that make you

450
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 4: can not only feel good, but when you unleash them,

451
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,359
Speaker 4: it transforms somebody else's life. And my purpose, I know

452
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 4: is is not just this right lip service, but wherever,

453
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,879
Speaker 4: whatever it means. If I'm in, if I'm in a

454
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 4: space and no opportunity to unleash whatever gifts is needed

455
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 4: that I can do well it comes easy to me

456
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:25,120
Speaker 4: in that moment, then I must not walk away without

457
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 4: transforming that space and using it, however that looks. In church,

458
00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:32,679
Speaker 4: I show up as the deacon. I show up and

459
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 4: support that my faith. I share my faith equally. I'm

460
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 4: not ashamed of it.

461
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,880
Speaker 3: Everybody knows my Christian I'll babies, I'll give you.

462
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,920
Speaker 4: A good word and no matter where I am right

463
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,640
Speaker 4: and if you need me to pray for you, which

464
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 4: I have in uniform, out of uniform, in a courtroom,

465
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 4: in a board room, I talk about good as God

466
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 4: is a good God.

467
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 2: To some people that you get on my nerve. You know,

468
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 2: you always violent, you always feeling blissed. You know, why

469
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 2: why do you react to that? And why do they

470
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:11,400
Speaker 2: say that?

471
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:12,479
Speaker 3: Listen?

472
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,960
Speaker 4: But my mother, my mother and a teacher, Miss Telephar

473
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 4: and some afraid told me that my energy and my

474
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 4: smile is going to make some people feel uncomfortable.

475
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 3: It has nothing to do with me, but everything to

476
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 3: do with them, because.

477
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 4: Sometimes all of the energy your light shines on people

478
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 4: what they're perceived shortcomings are.

479
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 3: And I and here's the thing. When they start that,

480
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,439
Speaker 3: can you shure all that a good? Anybody come in?

481
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 3: But good morning? And they said, oh yeah, I had.

482
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 4: A professor to say what's good about it? And for

483
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 4: a second I was like, oh so. Then I said,

484
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 4: well I woke up right, you don't have an answer right?

485
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,360
Speaker 4: And then I heard someone tell me she'd be like, seriously,

486
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,919
Speaker 4: can't nobody be that happy? I said, you know, we

487
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:01,199
Speaker 4: got Atlantic teach choices. You can choose to be happy

488
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 4: or feel happy, or we can choose to let this

489
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 4: world be this down. I said, I've been beat down enough,

490
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 4: and I refuse to live another day. It's a choice,

491
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 4: it's it's a choice. And I choose to be happy.

492
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 4: I choose happiness even if through storms.

493
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:16,400
Speaker 3: And sometimes I go.

494
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 4: And and I before a storm, or while I'm in one,

495
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, Lord, help me, help me. I reached

496
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 4: off for some help and and me and the Lord

497
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 4: LAWD said okay, you just prayed to me.

498
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,439
Speaker 3: And I call on my friends and my people and

499
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 3: my and the folks that I say.

500
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,640
Speaker 4: You know what, I'm on a cliff m those people

501
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 4: that I know like me that they'll pray for you

502
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 4: and say and come over there and tell you.

503
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 3: Some truth and all and speak truth to you like

504
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 3: you know, well you was wrong. Let me be couse,

505
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 3: get better.

506
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,640
Speaker 4: I call those people that will tell me the truth

507
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,360
Speaker 4: but will love me through it. I got my mentors

508
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,919
Speaker 4: that my circle was tight, because you know everybody, you

509
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,239
Speaker 4: can't let everybody speak into your spirit. But right, but

510
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,920
Speaker 4: I call them and I say, this is where I'm

511
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 4: at today was rough. I think I might have made

512
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 4: a mistake or I might have I don't know if

513
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 4: I did the right thing. And maybe like what's all

514
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 4: to me?

515
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: You know, doctor Wall.

516
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 2: You know I'm speaking to doctor Wall, like I said,

517
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 2: She's a certified neuroscience coach. And you about helping people

518
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,439
Speaker 2: rise above self doubt, which we keep talking about, fear

519
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 2: and circumstance to live in their full power. When we

520
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 2: live in an era today because of social media, you know,

521
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: because of the fact that people can contact you anytime

522
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,199
Speaker 2: they feel like it. You know, when I grew up,

523
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 2: guess what you left the house? Guess what you got

524
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:42,439
Speaker 2: a phone call where you pitched the little message machine.

525
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 2: When you got back home you found out.

526
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 1: Who called you. Now you can't do that anymore.

527
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 2: And so you constantly are being restricted on being able

528
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 2: to find some your space.

529
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 1: And so with your process that.

530
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:01,360
Speaker 2: Your one million lives Transform, how you helping us get there?

531
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 2: And also before you answer the question how can we

532
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 2: reach you?

533
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 3: Okay, so I'm gonna say boundaries.

534
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 4: I know you have heard it, boundaries, And if you

535
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 4: found me while I'm going that same thing.

536
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 3: You where you can reach me at one million.

537
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:19,160
Speaker 4: Dollars Transform dot com and of course doctor Stephanie Wall

538
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 4: everywhere on every platform, from LinkedIn to the gram and

539
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 4: on the Book of Faces and all those places. But

540
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 4: I want to tell you that all my clients I

541
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 4: fought with boundaries, was well, I fought with self awareness.

542
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,359
Speaker 4: Because we don't know where ourself. We can't do anything

543
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 4: from there. But once I teach them about being self aware,

544
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,040
Speaker 4: we talk about boundaries and why it's important to have them,

545
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 4: and why it's okay to have them, right because you know,

546
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 4: for all of us, we and particularly women and men,

547
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 4: quite frankly, we don't we are afraid to set some

548
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 4: boundaries so I teach them. Listen, it can be a

549
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 4: little small things. Hey, listen, how about if you are

550
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,360
Speaker 4: always available.

551
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 3: On the phone.

552
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 4: Let's set some some some timers on your phone.

553
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,640
Speaker 3: Where you're shuting. Your phone just kind of shuts down,

554
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 3: or at least one of them phones. Y'all got to

555
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 3: like me, right.

556
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 4: And or the and no is a complete sentence, uh rashawan.

557
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 4: There's so many people that do this. Hey, can you

558
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 4: come over and help me with thus and so? Oh no,

559
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 4: but I because I and all this, no, no, don't explain.

560
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 4: I have got I have mastered the know and I'll

561
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 4: be like concepting, can you do that's and so?

562
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 3: And I decided singing on Oh no, no, I want

563
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 3: people to help.

564
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,359
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you the doctor all you brought up

565
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 2: brought up something interesting. When people call me and they

566
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 2: asked me what am I doing? I am the conversation. Okay, okay,

567
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 2: all of them now you calling asking me what I'm doing?

568
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 2: She's right there, that is that's not a conversation. I

569
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 2: had a really I remember this real a big executive.

570
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 2: He would call me and he always wanted to ask

571
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 2: me questions about me. And I was saying, I said,

572
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 2: I don't do that. I said, I don't. I don't

573
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 2: have time to just discuss me. And he didn't understand that.

574
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,639
Speaker 2: And I tell people all the time, if people call you,

575
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 2: there has to be a purpose for the call. If

576
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,159
Speaker 2: people are calling you just to talk, wrong person to

577
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 2: call is me because I want to move my day forward.

578
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 2: I want to move my minutes forward, my hours forward.

579
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 2: And I think if you're on a phone and you're

580
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:37,680
Speaker 2: not talking about moving your life forward, you know, whether

581
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 2: it's a relationship, whether it's business or any family calling you,

582
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 2: that call should not be about recapping the world. But

583
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 2: I tell you, I tell you hit a button with

584
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 2: me when you was talking about people asking you stuff

585
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 2: or want to invite you over to do things for

586
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 2: you that they want to invite you over, and they

587
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 2: specifically say clean and you can make a decision, moves

588
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 2: the furniture, make a decision, help me put together this?

589
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 2: Uh this this is family, but faith make it. That's

590
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 2: that's when people get generic. You got to shut her down.

591
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 2: You gotta said bod just exactly like doctor Walt says.

592
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 1: Otherwise you are going.

593
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 2: To be uh a gossip pen when they bord, they're

594
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 2: gonna call you when they have nothing to do.

595
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 1: In their life.

596
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 2: They're gonna waste your time, and then suddenly your time

597
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 2: has no value. And then they start stereotyping at the

598
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 2: type of person that you are, so when you want

599
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 2: to be yourself, they will mute you.

600
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 4: Okay, wait a minute, so Jealai, I'm gonna give you

601
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,640
Speaker 4: little tip I had to learn that. I'm gonna tell

602
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 4: you one of my girlfriend, Gloria, Gloria refol Banks. Y'all,

603
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 4: she taught me this once because she said, Stephanie, because

604
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 4: I remember I was on we know how when you

605
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 4: call your friends.

606
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 3: They're busy.

607
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 4: Busy people don't have time. So she taught all of

608
00:29:59,120 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 4: us how to call her.

609
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 3: Right, this is what you look And I've been doing

610
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 3: it for over thirty years. Now, y'all, here you go.

611
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 3: If I'm calling you for Sean one, as soon as

612
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 3: you answer the phone.

613
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 4: I'm saying, hey for Sean, this is Stepanie.

614
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 3: Do you do you have a minute. See, first of all,

615
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 3: don't start talking. Don't start talking with people you don't

616
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 3: know they might have a minute, because.

617
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 4: Ra Sean might say, you know, I really don't step

618
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 4: Let me give your call.

619
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: Right back, right right?

620
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 3: I mean, how need you call you back?

621
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 4: You know I'm gonna say that, so right and when

622
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 4: you and when you said you a minute, don't.

623
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 3: Take fifteen minutes. Y'all right, I'm calling because of this.

624
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 3: This is what I need. Boom, get right to it.

625
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 3: I mean, don't do no backstory, y'all. Busy. People got

626
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 3: ten seconds asthma, they can do you have? Do you

627
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 3: have a minute? They will tell you they do. And

628
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 3: this is heyer Sean.

629
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 4: Listen, I'm calling because I need this, this, this and this,

630
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 4: and listen, can you help me?

631
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 3: We'll do whatever the thing is.

632
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 2: I'm laughing at doctor Wall because now just and people

633
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 2: have called me. They go, I have two things I

634
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 2: want to talk to you about. Oh I got, I

635
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 2: want to talk about three things. They'll say, you got

636
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 2: five minutes. And that's how they talk to me. And

637
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 2: they know that's, you know, because I've set the rules.

638
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 2: I've said, this is how I want you to communicate.

639
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 2: Because your scheduled. They respect it, and they say I

640
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 2: got They actually tell me, I have three things I

641
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 2: want to talk to you about.

642
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: First, two three?

643
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 4: This?

644
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 2: You got five minutes? Hey, brother, listen to me right now.

645
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 2: I need you to be stable for about five minutes.

646
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 2: Can you give that to me? That's how people talk

647
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 2: to me. They specifically tell me exactly what I want

648
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 2: to do. And when I call people, I call people

649
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 2: specifically for the purpose of it. And you know, that's

650
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 2: that's me. I'm not saying that's everybody. But I will

651
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 2: tell you this. If you are a busy person, if

652
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 2: you are a functioning person, and you want people to

653
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 2: have a system of how to communicate with you, then

654
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 2: they should upfront say hey, I got a couple of

655
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 2: the ideas I want to share with you that's happening

656
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 2: in my life.

657
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 1: Then all of a sudden it can be personal. It

658
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 1: can be personal because.

659
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 2: Then I have the option to go, well, can you

660
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,480
Speaker 2: can you give you like fifteen minutes to talk? Okay,

661
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 2: we have a timeline. It might go past fifteen minutes,

662
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 2: But did you not You have not trapped me into

663
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 2: a conversation because I look at that clock and go,

664
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 2: hey man, it's fifteen.

665
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: Okay, it's time to wrap this up.

666
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 2: Okay. I said fifteen. Now I gave you fifteen okay.

667
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 2: And so that's what the whole this old conversation. I

668
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 2: hope everybody understand what we're talking about with Dr wall

669
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 2: Is about being able to find your voice and being

670
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 2: able to use your voice comfortably in all settings, whether

671
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 2: and not allowing people to I'm gonna use this word

672
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 2: bully you down with that perception of how.

673
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 1: You should act.

674
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 2: That's very important, correct, doctor Walt, That is correct.

675
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 4: Listen, All and change starts for the pause, not just

676
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 4: before it starts with the plan. Because here's wherever you are,

677
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 4: you have you have to see somebody say something and

678
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 4: you either no reaction because you're just so pissed off, right, or.

679
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,479
Speaker 3: You react and it just ain't making sense. You look, look,

680
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 3: just pause for a moment. Somebody says something because I

681
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 3: want to. I want to. I'm getting to give somebody

682
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 3: some something.

683
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 4: Right here, you have been offended, right, and instead of

684
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 4: acknowledging in that moment, something like making that person way

685
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 4: without business, you know, becoming getting in a banter. Some

686
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 4: bands are going on, you walk away. Now you have

687
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,720
Speaker 4: to cook out mad about it. Listen, you ask a question.

688
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 4: If I said something, you could say, so Stephanie, I

689
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 4: would tell me exactly what you meant.

690
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: By that, right, mm hmm, because.

691
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 4: I might have been you know, it might I might

692
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 4: have been You may have taken it incorrectly. I made

693
00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 4: it any checked right, and you say it and it

694
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 4: was offensive, then you can say, if I repeated it

695
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 4: because you asked the question, I meant this, and you

696
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 4: could say, if we're friends, say but that you know

697
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 4: that that kind.

698
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,839
Speaker 3: Of all sends me stuff. Then they give me the

699
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 3: opportunity to set right there. Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

700
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 2: That wasn't my intention, right, because all these techniques are

701
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 2: so when someone contacts you, Dr Wall, what is the

702
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:28,880
Speaker 2: process of the relationship where you're trying to build on

703
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 2: with these relationships and the benefits.

704
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 4: So I'm going to say when they when they contact me, first,

705
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,839
Speaker 4: I have to have a conversation because I'm a coach, right,

706
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 4: I'm a consultant, and sometimes we may or may not

707
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 4: be the best bit. So you might like what you're here,

708
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 4: and you may have a problem that you might need

709
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 4: a therapist because I am a coach and a consultant.

710
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 3: But I have a conversation so I can see what

711
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 3: is it that you need?

712
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 4: And am I the right person to get you there?

713
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 4: And it may and I may be or it may

714
00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:58,879
Speaker 4: be somebody that I.

715
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 3: Am associated with may be another coach.

716
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 4: I'll say, you know what, Rashawn or or you might

717
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 4: be needed, you might once need more media help, and

718
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,279
Speaker 4: then that would be one of my colleagues.

719
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 3: Right.

720
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 4: Well, whatever it is that you need, you come to

721
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 4: me so we can build on it. Because here's the thing.

722
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:20,359
Speaker 4: I'm not gatekeeping, but if you are somebody that's out

723
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 4: there and you absolutely know I've been muted as a professional,

724
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 4: as a human, as whomever you are, and I don't

725
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,279
Speaker 4: know how to get to my next then I need

726
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 4: to talk to you.

727
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 2: And I'm just going to help other people out who

728
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 2: are employees and companies. That's what HR is all about.

729
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:40,720
Speaker 2: You go to the HR department and feel you can't speak,

730
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:42,720
Speaker 2: feel you can't share your idea.

731
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 1: That's being muted.

732
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,920
Speaker 2: And so this is a broad This is a great interview,

733
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 2: I want to tell you because we're talking about a

734
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 2: lot of things that happen to people in so many

735
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 2: different ways. And some of it we do control because

736
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 2: we can't mute ourselves. But a lot of situations, I

737
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 2: will tell you probably about native percent of it, people

738
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 2: are trying to mute you. They're trying to tell you

739
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,759
Speaker 2: to fine how you should think, to find how you

740
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,879
Speaker 2: should live and the direction you should take your relationship.

741
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 2: Because muting isn't always verbalized.

742
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:15,720
Speaker 1: It can be through action.

743
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 2: It can be people can mute your opportunities at a

744
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 2: job by not telling you about the job. So it

745
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:27,880
Speaker 2: means you have to be aware of opportunities from buying homes,

746
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 2: buying cars. This is such a grand approach for muting.

747
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 2: Some people just looking at us. A verbal term really

748
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 2: is about life. And I really want to thank you

749
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 2: for allowing me to bring that to the show because

750
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 2: of the fact that it's so many things. We fail

751
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 2: in Doctor Wall because we don't know, and they become

752
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 2: a victim, a victim because we don't understand what's happening.

753
00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 2: And like you said, if you don't understand, take a

754
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,839
Speaker 2: deep breath, pause and then ask the question. And that's

755
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,280
Speaker 2: what we have to start doing, asking the questions.

756
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: Correct.

757
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 3: We do?

758
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 1: We do?

759
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 4: And you know think about you know, we both deep

760
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 4: into leadership, right, we always think about leadership.

761
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,319
Speaker 3: I don't know, and that's some of them.

762
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 4: Some of my clients at you know, organizations, when they

763
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 4: bring me in, what is the composition is all right?

764
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,840
Speaker 3: So they have a whole group, they promote everybody.

765
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 4: You get promoted from being the doer to being the

766
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 4: person who's to make sure it gets done. But you

767
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 4: have you got, you got all the skill set. Put

768
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 4: your mindsets not there and I'll go I'll use this example.

769
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 3: And you know I was in, Oh my god, I

770
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 3: can I can do police or I.

771
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 4: Can do profession right, administrator got promoted to the next

772
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 4: role and from what I was promoted.

773
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,880
Speaker 3: And now I am in charge of my of my peers.

774
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 4: I went from being the person that was talking trash

775
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 4: and the breakroom with them, so now I'm the themness

776
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:58,919
Speaker 4: and everybody else standing and now.

777
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 3: She's coming down here. Tell we got to be at

778
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:01,279
Speaker 3: work on side. You know.

779
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:02,839
Speaker 4: We was all coming here at the same time, punching

780
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 4: this clock right, and it.

781
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 3: Was difficult for me.

782
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 4: I wondered why when I walked into the room, I'm

783
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,320
Speaker 4: trying to be like, hey, y'all, everybody was like bye,

784
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 4: and it's some one of them. And as a lieutenant

785
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:16,879
Speaker 4: one time I walked in and I'm like, where's everybody going?

786
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 3: And my sergeant, who.

787
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 4: Had three male sergeants, they were like, uh, one of

788
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,720
Speaker 4: which used to be my sergeant. So I was elevated

789
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 4: over him and he said, you're the commander.

790
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:31,600
Speaker 3: Ain't nobody dad you coming to rope people? Getting up

791
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 3: out of here? I was like what? So and so

792
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:35,839
Speaker 3: I had to.

793
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 4: Have a mind I had to realize it's not personal,

794
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 4: you just on another level. And this is the thing

795
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 4: you have to teach people. And so Nail used to

796
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:46,279
Speaker 4: job to create more of us. And so I not

797
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,400
Speaker 4: only had to get my mindset right, but I had

798
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 4: to Nail teach the people that were managers under me

799
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 4: how to lead.

800
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 3: It's all it's so many things.

801
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,120
Speaker 4: And when you lead, like before you go, you know,

802
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 4: your boss complaining about how your folks are not doing

803
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 4: the work. The question that I always answered, Oh that's wonderful,

804
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 4: so listen. So tell me what steps you took to

805
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 4: prepare them to do that task?

806
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:13,879
Speaker 3: Did they know how to do it? Did you show

807
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:17,280
Speaker 3: them how to do it first? Okay, when you realize

808
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 3: they didn't know how.

809
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 4: To do it, did you give them like a template

810
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 4: or did you show them how to do it? No,

811
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 4: they came to my office to complain that they had

812
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 4: to go.

813
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 3: And so here's the deal.

814
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 4: The one thing I know, before we can complain about

815
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 4: somebody else on the work, there's either a system failure

816
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 4: or leadership failure?

817
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 3: Which one is it?

818
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: Right?

819
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 4: Right? And we got to take accountability. And so I

820
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 4: mean lead well, lead well by first being leading yourself well,

821
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 4: being amazing, showing up in every place as the person that.

822
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,799
Speaker 3: You want to be leading you.

823
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 2: And now I would take that example, like you said,

824
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 2: you know everybody with that break.

825
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:57,839
Speaker 1: Room was was was was everybody.

826
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 2: Then you got promoted. But I have to put it

827
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 2: back on you. You didn't understand the shift, the dynamics shift,

828
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 2: and everybody muted up around you because most lady in here.

829
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 5: Now and they knew you, knew their personalities, their two

830
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 5: d they're the little secrets, that's the little back talk,

831
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 5: the little the little jabs and all that.

832
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 1: So basically it was some fear in your promotion.

833
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 3: Yes it is. So I'm gonna tell you, I'm I'm

834
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 3: gonna help y'all because there's some of y'all are here

835
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 3: now that has just got elevated to this new position

836
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 3: in your organization.

837
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 4: So when you you and what you gotta understand is

838
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 4: you gotta you have got elevated.

839
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:43,799
Speaker 3: So that means you got to change how you think it.

840
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 4: You're not here and these people right here now they're

841
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:49,439
Speaker 4: not looking at you as if you are you're equal.

842
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 4: They look up at you like you one of them,

843
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 4: and so you model and be okay with it. You've

844
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 4: heard the term that it's kind of lonely at the top, right,

845
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 4: it's because listen, look, you can't go complaining to the

846
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 4: people down there anymore because they're like, you bet a

847
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 4: girl you up there down so find you somebody. And

848
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 4: for me, I was like, oh my gosh, what am

849
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,800
Speaker 4: I going to do? I went and found the person.

850
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:13,799
Speaker 4: As my brother in law said to me, he never

851
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 4: worried about getting to the next place because he always

852
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,360
Speaker 4: operated at two levels above where he was.

853
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 3: He said, I need you to start doing that. So

854
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 3: I was like, well I do that.

855
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 4: He said, go and start getting mentored by the people

856
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 4: that are two levels above you.

857
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 3: So after this once, I started doing that.

858
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,720
Speaker 4: And I mean when I say mentor, y'all for the folks,

859
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 4: and y'all got to y'all at me when you're getting

860
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 4: mentor it, don't go in there. Tell me I want

861
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 4: you to you to be my mentor. They were like,

862
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,400
Speaker 4: what does that look like? What kind of times the

863
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 4: busy people ain't got a bunch.

864
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 3: Of time, So be a good mentee.

865
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 4: Say listen, I would love it if you could mentor me,

866
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 4: and and and whether it be.

867
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:52,719
Speaker 3: Can I do this?

868
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 1: Can I take you specifics?

869
00:41:55,920 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 2: What you're saying broad? And people do that all the time.

870
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 2: People do care. I can talk to you for another

871
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,720
Speaker 2: hour speaking. I'm telling you cause people cause people always

872
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:09,600
Speaker 2: approached to me. I need mentorship, really, and I immediately

873
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 2: go whereas money made conversations master class because you cannot

874
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:18,800
Speaker 2: come to me with a generic term like mentor, because

875
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 2: that means that you don't have a game plan. You

876
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 2: just gonna throw some general term off to me. Well,

877
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 2: tell me I need mentorship and graphic design. Then I'll

878
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 2: tell you that's not what I do. I need mentorship

879
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 2: and engineer. That's not what I do. I need mentorship

880
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:39,360
Speaker 2: and leadership. Go to YouTube.

881
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:41,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got one for you. I just want I

882
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:43,360
Speaker 3: just already. Do you gonna say hanky and stuff?

883
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 4: How many people said to you, Hey, for Sean, I

884
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 4: like to just pick your brand?

885
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 2: Come on, see gee gee, that's what see that's the

886
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 2: people who called and go what you're doing?

887
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 1: Huh, what I'm doing? That's what you called me for?

888
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 2: So that phones in that same lane, Dr Wall, pick

889
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 2: your brain, my brain.

890
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:06,879
Speaker 1: I'll tell you this is.

891
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:11,919
Speaker 4: Somebody told me, uh, Steff, you've reached a level where

892
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 4: you're gonna have.

893
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,439
Speaker 3: To stop saying let people pick your brains. And you said,

894
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 3: no problem.

895
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 4: But you before you pick my brain, go ahead and

896
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 4: pick this level on which invoice I'm gonna reasy because

897
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 4: they were like, y'all, listen, pick a plan because you

898
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 4: know that the pictures. I mean, look, they will pick

899
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 4: your brain right and then pay them other people all

900
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 4: this money for that same for some information. So they said,

901
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 4: you got to learn how to send them invoice and staff.

902
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,880
Speaker 2: Why would you tell you, doctor Wall. That's why I

903
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 2: will tell you go to YouTube. But now I got

904
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 2: go to doctor Wall because it's not CoA sit around

905
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 2: with those general conversations. But I want to thank you,

906
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:52,240
Speaker 2: my friend, for forty.

907
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:52,280
Speaker 1: Three minutes we've been talking.

908
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 2: Girl, uh and I looked over to go, oh my god,

909
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:00,479
Speaker 2: we're doing a part two again. Thank you for coming

910
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 2: on my show. I still been talking till I turn

911
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 2: around looking.

912
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:09,760
Speaker 3: Girl. Thank you, thank you, thank.

913
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 2: You doctor Walll for coming on my show. Money Making

914
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 2: Conversations master Class. This has been Money Making Conversations Masterclass.

915
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 2: With me, Rashaun McDonald. Thanks to our guests and our audience.

916
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:24,319
Speaker 2: Visit Moneymaking Conversations dot com to listen or register to

917
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,400
Speaker 2: be a guest on my show. Keep leading with your gifts,

918
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:28,280
Speaker 2: keep winning,