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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to my favorite Murder the minisode.

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Speaker 2: We read your stories, emails and stories.

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Speaker 1: You want to go first, your stories and emails and stories.

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to reach you the time. Yeah, well

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Speaker 2: no I'm not okay. Hi Georgia and Karen, first time writer,

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Speaker 2: longtime procrastinator.

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Speaker 1: Hey.

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Speaker 2: At seven years old, I randomly decided to sleep in

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Speaker 2: my own room one night, rare, locked the door even rarer,

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Speaker 2: and had a lovely uninterrupted sleep. Meanwhile, my older brother

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Speaker 2: was followed home from a seven to eleven by a

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Speaker 2: man who held him at gunpoint, forced his way into

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Speaker 2: our home, threatened my parents, and demanded money. Holy, we're

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Speaker 2: about fucking what's it called?

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Speaker 1: Home invasion robbery?

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Speaker 2: Yes, home invasion robbery one of my biggest fears. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: While my dad distracted the man downstairs, my mom woke

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Speaker 2: my sister, who then climbed down a wrought iron fence

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Speaker 2: and randoin neighbor's house to call the cops. The guy

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Speaker 2: was arrested, the gun was fake, and I slept through

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Speaker 2: the entire thing like a damn rock. Oh yeah. The

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Speaker 2: guy even tried my door but moved on when it

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Speaker 2: was locked. Oh my, like sdude. My mom explained it

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Speaker 2: all the next morning on the way to school like

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Speaker 2: it was a casual weather update. A decade later, we

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Speaker 2: got a letter that the guy had been released. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: stay sexy and sleep like the dead. Thanks for recruiting

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Speaker 2: such a hilarious, cathartic space to share stories like these.

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Speaker 2: You two are truly the highlight of my week every week.

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Speaker 2: God on SSDGM Crystal Marie.

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Speaker 1: Crystal Marie, thank you.

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Speaker 2: Good job sleeping through a fucking hostage situation.

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Speaker 1: So trauma. Yeah, I'll have none of this trauma. You

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Speaker 1: guys can have it good night. I'll have what she's

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Speaker 1: having me on ambient basically Okay. The subject line of

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Speaker 1: this is a vintage murder. It says, hello, beautiful ladies.

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Speaker 1: Lucille Hartman is my husband's great grandfather's first cousin. Lucille

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Speaker 1: was a very attractive woman with red hair. She was

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Speaker 1: reportedly very pampered, spoiled, and had an ill temper that

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Speaker 1: was in quotes. Lucille's father owned Hartman Oil Works, where

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Speaker 1: she later met her husband, William Witt in nineteen thirty.

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Speaker 1: Lucille's twenty five, her husband fifty five when they married.

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Speaker 1: The couple had a troubled marriage, Oh you think, and

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Speaker 1: had been to court three times in a year. William

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Speaker 1: attempted to divorce her on the grounds of cruelty, but

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Speaker 1: was denied. After losing the petition for divorce, the couple

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Speaker 1: walked out of the courthouse, apparently on friendly terms. A

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Speaker 1: witness stated that Lucille left her husband saying, well, then,

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Speaker 1: I'll see you in a week. William began to walk

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Speaker 1: down the street and Lucille got into her car. She

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Speaker 1: drove to catch up to William, pulled over and stepped

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Speaker 1: out of the car. Lucille took a thirty two caliber

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Speaker 1: pistol that was concealed in her hat. She fired at

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Speaker 1: William point blank, once while he was standing and twice

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Speaker 1: when he fell to the ground. One bullet went through

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Speaker 1: his heart and the other two bullets threw his head.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Right. She immediately surrendered her gun to the sheriff and

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Speaker 1: told him I'm ready to go to jail.

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Speaker 2: WHOA.

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Speaker 1: She was promptly arrested and they were like, no problem.

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Speaker 1: There was a highly publicized trial before she was sent

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Speaker 1: to prison. Lucille refused to talk to anyone and displayed

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Speaker 1: no regret in the killing of her husband. It came

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Speaker 1: out in the trial that Lucille had been married before

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Speaker 1: to a man named Ralph, who she shot and wounded

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Speaker 1: before their divorced in nineteen twenty five.

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Speaker 2: It was going to be like, I bet he was

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Speaker 2: this and that. Yeah, that's kind of a pattern, now,

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Speaker 2: that's right.

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Speaker 1: In nineteen thirty four, Lucille had had a male visitor

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Speaker 1: when she was in prison. This visitor somehow changed clothes

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Speaker 1: with Lucille during the visit. The male wearing her clothes,

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Speaker 1: remained in the prison while she walked out of the

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Speaker 1: door to freedom in disguise wearing the man's clothing. She

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Speaker 1: was never seen or heard from again.

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Speaker 2: Stop it.

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Speaker 1: It was later learned that the man visiting her was

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Speaker 1: employed by Hartman Oil Works, which was then being run

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Speaker 1: by Lucille's brother George. The whereabouts of Lucille Hartman Witt

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Speaker 1: remain unknown to this day.

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Speaker 2: France, bet you anything that is fucking incredible? How we

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Speaker 2: that should be a full episode story?

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Speaker 1: And that woman became Betty White? What if it's some

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Speaker 1: huge beloved character in American I started listening to your

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Speaker 1: podcast in twenty sixteen, day one, and since then I've

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Speaker 1: graduated high school, got my master's degree in social work

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Speaker 1: and am now working as a licensed mental health therapist

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Speaker 1: in Arkansas. Wow, thank you, ladies for all you do. Laura.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, guess what, Laura, thank you for all

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Speaker 1: you do.

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Speaker 2: You and great job. It's crazy that we can go

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Speaker 2: like we've been through so many people's existences.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I mean like someone got a master's on our dime.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and we're still fucking podcasting.

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Speaker 1: And we're still fucking thing college dropouts over and over.

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Speaker 1: I want to go to Laura's college and get an

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Speaker 1: honorary degree and be like, this is how easy.

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Speaker 2: It can't earn a honor for sure, at least from

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Speaker 2: my alma mater, Los Angeles City College.

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Speaker 1: At least I feel like I'd love to take some

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Speaker 1: classes there.

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Speaker 2: And by alma mater, I mean I didn't graduate right

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Speaker 2: from there, right, they had great glasses. It was a

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Speaker 2: great school.

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Speaker 1: So that was more of a like a part time

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Speaker 1: stop by. Hang.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like I don't know what to do with

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Speaker 2: myself and I need to stay on my mom's insurance.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I guess I'll drive to this parking lot

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Speaker 1: a couple of days a week, find a kitten. I

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Speaker 1: did find a kitten, try to convince someone to go

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Speaker 1: to a bar with me during the day, or the

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Speaker 1: arcades across the street.

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Speaker 2: Okay, stop, we could do this all please. I serious,

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Speaker 2: this email is cursed or maybe it's just me. Dear

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Speaker 2: Karen and Georgia. I want to start off by letting

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Speaker 2: you know that at the moment of writing this email,

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Speaker 2: I am eating a cosmic brownie and ignoring work I

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Speaker 2: have to do for my first week back at s

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Speaker 2: F s U.

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Speaker 1: Hey, I say universities that you. I wanted to go there,

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Speaker 1: and my mom was like, you won't like it. It's

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Speaker 1: too foggy, just like, are you out of your mind?

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Speaker 1: Cosmic brownies? Those are the little debbies. I bought a

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Speaker 1: bunch of those at the beginning of COVID so good

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Speaker 1: now I can't look at them. I ate boxes and

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Speaker 1: boxes just so good. They're really great.

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Speaker 2: Okay. I also want to know and that I am

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Speaker 2: the first grandchild, granddaughter, a great granddaughter, niece, nibbing, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: So overthinking is what I do. So onto my curse.

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Speaker 2: So this is about her family.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: So she's saying, okay, great every single time I start

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Speaker 2: a new school elementary, middle high school. Someone in my

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Speaker 2: family dies.

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Speaker 1: Uh oh.

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Speaker 2: When I started kindergarten, my mom's stepdad, Andy died from

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Speaker 2: a heart attack. I remember this even though I was five.

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Speaker 2: That was because at the funeral, my aunt made me

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Speaker 2: go up to the coffin and look at him all caps.

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Speaker 2: I cannot tell you how much I did not want

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Speaker 2: to do that. Ye, yes, you can, no need for that. Five.

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to go up because in my five

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Speaker 2: year old brain, I thought all that would be left

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Speaker 2: would be his skeleton.

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Speaker 1: Oh Jesus in a little suit.

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Speaker 2: That's like a horror movie walking up to the coffin.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, She's like, it's a dead body. This is a

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Speaker 1: Halloween situation. Here's what I can expect.

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Speaker 2: God. My first year of middle school, I repressed as

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Speaker 2: much as I could. From that time, my mom's mom, Darcy, died.

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Speaker 2: I can't tell you I felt any sadness, mostly because

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Speaker 2: I was eleven and she was in late stages of dementia.

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Speaker 2: But I still feel guilty that I felt relief. This

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Speaker 2: happened when my whole family was at home. My brother

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Speaker 2: was six at the time. I took him into This

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Speaker 2: is going to make me sound so fucking rich the

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Speaker 2: library and closed the door so he didn't have to

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Speaker 2: see the EMT's wheel my grandmother out the door on

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Speaker 2: a gurney.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that was nice. It's a nice sister. That's the

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Speaker 1: opposite of a trash sibling.

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Speaker 2: Totally freshman year, my great grandmother, Aila died. She was

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Speaker 2: my dad's paternal grandmother. We didn't have a memorial for

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Speaker 2: her until almost two years later. I started community during

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Speaker 2: the pandemic. A week before online classes start. I am

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Speaker 2: in Albuquerque, New Mexico, with my grandma Anita, who has

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Speaker 2: pancreatic cancer. Just stop going to school. If there's ever

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Speaker 2: been a sign so rough that you should drop out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just stop educating yourself.

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Speaker 2: The day before she died, I had broken my elbow.

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Speaker 2: That was a shit week. Fast forward to January seventh

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Speaker 2: of twenty twenty four. I had just finished moving into

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Speaker 2: my on campus housing for my first semester at SFSU.

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Speaker 2: My dad's dad, Ron, had been the hospital for months.

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Speaker 2: I got the call, just expecting it every time you

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Speaker 2: like sign up. Yeah, so I am no longer allowed

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Speaker 2: to get any more of an education the safety of

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Speaker 2: the remaining members of my family. Although if I had

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Speaker 2: my way I would get the MFA I want, not

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Speaker 2: worth it, not fucking worth it, the MFA oh massive

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Speaker 2: MFA I want. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Oh for a second I thought she meant, what did

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Speaker 1: they call when you marry some guy and an mrs degree?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I thought she was saying that. I'm like, why would you.

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Speaker 2: Okay, sorry, it's so long mcmc mcmc yeahmc mcmc.

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Speaker 1: Is that the year they wrote it and they're just

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Speaker 1: being roman about it. I just want to say this

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Speaker 1: to you. Don't feel guilty that you are relieved that

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Speaker 1: your grandma with all summer's died. It's a relief and

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Speaker 1: it goes on too long.

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Speaker 2: That's like, you don't need the guilt on top of

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Speaker 2: the sadness.

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Speaker 1: No, No, it's hard enough and everyone feels relieved. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's it's very normal.

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Speaker 2: It's a horrible part of it. Yeah. Yeah, that's nice of.

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Speaker 1: You, all right. The subject line of this email is

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Speaker 1: internationally kidnapped by my grandparents. Oh hi, Karen and Georgia.

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Speaker 1: I grew up in upstate New York in the nineties,

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Speaker 1: where my parents' idea of summer camp was dropping my

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Speaker 1: sister and me off with our grandparents for weeks at

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Speaker 1: a time. We loved it, and there was often a

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Speaker 1: rotating crew of cousins with us as my aunts and

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Speaker 1: uncles took parenting sabbaticals. Yeah, I think you'd have to.

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Speaker 1: My grandparents loved taking road trips, and we cousins usually

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Speaker 1: obliged with minimal complaints, as my grandpa was guaranteed to

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Speaker 1: stop for ice cream at some point. Yeah, it's all

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Speaker 1: takes for Most trips led us to unmemorable small towns,

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Speaker 1: but occasionally we got lucky and our destination was the

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Speaker 1: most exotic place for any upstate kid Canada. One particular

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Speaker 1: trip was especially exciting because we were headed to Niagara Falls.

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Speaker 1: The trip did not start well. My seven year old cousin, Timmy,

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Speaker 1: spent the entire two hour drive arguing with my grandparents

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Speaker 1: that we quote could not drive to another country. You

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Speaker 1: had to cross an ocean. Shut up, Timmy.

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Speaker 2: Seven, you're seven and you're arguing with me.

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Speaker 1: Timmy watched the National Geographic Channel one too many times.

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Speaker 1: My grandparents were not thrilled with his first grade level

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Speaker 1: understanding of geography, and things became tense.

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Speaker 2: But like, okay, I'm going to argue for him. Now

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Speaker 2: stop arguing with a seven year old Yeah, okay, Timmy, Okay, Timmy,

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Speaker 2: we'll stay here in America.

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Speaker 1: Whatever you need, Timmy.

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Speaker 2: Timmy first name, that's really your name? Okay.

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Speaker 1: As we approached border control, while Timmy continued screening about

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Speaker 1: oceans and airplanes. When we pulled up to the border,

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Speaker 1: a cheerful Canadian border agent looked in the backseat and

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Speaker 1: asked excited to go to Canada, kids, Timmy screamed back,

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Speaker 1: They can't drive me into another country, my mom said, so,

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Speaker 1: these are not my parents. Formerly friendly border agent immediately

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Speaker 1: yelled at my grandpa to exit the vehicle, and things

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Speaker 1: went downhill from there.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. We thought they were getting kidnapped.

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Speaker 1: As this was the early nineties, kids were not required

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Speaker 1: to have passports or birth certificates to cross into Canada

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Speaker 1: from the US. My grandparents had no proof of who

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Speaker 1: the three children under seven years old were in the backseat.

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Speaker 1: The border agents immediately separated us from our grandparents, sat

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Speaker 1: us in a small detention room, and gave us each

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Speaker 1: a small box of raisins to snack on.

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Speaker 2: Gruss, You're not getting anything out of me with fucking

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Speaker 2: a box of raisins.

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Speaker 1: That's out of there. The Canadians asked us detailed questions

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Speaker 1: about our trip and who our grandparents were. When asked

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Speaker 1: if our parents knew where we were, we all dutifully

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Speaker 1: replied no, it's true. Our answers only confirmed the border

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Speaker 1: agent's suspicions. My sister, Timmy and I had clearly been kidnapped. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: my grandparents were in another room being interrogated. Luckily, my

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Speaker 1: grandpa happened to be a New York State Supreme Court

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Speaker 1: justice at the time. There you go, We're fine. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: must be nice, and somehow convinced the border agents to

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Speaker 1: contact a fellow judge he knew who lived near the border.

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Speaker 1: This judge showed up a few hours later with a

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Speaker 1: few American court police officers and US Border patrol agents.

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Speaker 1: Damn they verified that my grandpa was in fact an

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Speaker 1: upstanding citizen and not a kidnapper, although at that point

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Speaker 1: I'm sure he was considering abandoning us. I don't remember

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Speaker 1: much else about the trip except for the glitter wand

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Speaker 1: my grandma bought me at a restop on the driving back.

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Speaker 2: That's a good memory.

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Speaker 1: So sorry, but that's so real for a kid, where

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Speaker 1: it's like we all got detained.

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Speaker 2: Grandparents almost got arrested, but glitter.

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Speaker 1: Later one my grandparents were notoriously cheap. A souvenir was

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Speaker 1: somehow more astonishing than being detained. Stay sexy and don't

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Speaker 1: bring the annoying cousin to Canada with you, Laura, little shit.

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Speaker 2: I mean I was right from the beginning. Yes, send

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Speaker 2: us your accidental kidnapping stories. Yes, gret I mean I

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Speaker 2: mean that in a really positive way that like someone

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Speaker 2: thought or accidentally did a thing. Yeah, it seemed like kidnapping,

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Speaker 2: but it wasn't.

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Speaker 1: All actors in these stories must be like Timmy's grandparents

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Speaker 1: of good faith, not lead kidnappers, don't I mean, or

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Speaker 1: somebody take it well, listen to whatever you want to

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Speaker 1: tell you.

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Speaker 2: Well, my favorite murder at Gmail. Okay, this one is

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Speaker 2: great public pool stories. You say is the title because

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Speaker 2: we asked for that, but this one is amazing. It

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Speaker 2: just starts. Love you both. Thank you for encouraging me

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Speaker 2: to get the help I needed. Okay, story time, I

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Speaker 2: know right. My fifteen year old self had the best

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Speaker 2: dog ever named Dylan. He was famous in our neighborhood.

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Speaker 2: We lived across the street from an elementary school and

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Speaker 2: my mom, whose name was Romayne, like to let us

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00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,840
Speaker 2: not spelled that way, but looks that way. Romain with

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Speaker 2: a y.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Maybe.

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Speaker 2: My mom ran a daycare at home, so he was

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Speaker 2: always around kids. They all knew and loved him, and

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Speaker 2: he appointed himself as their protector.

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Speaker 1: Perfect.

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Speaker 2: But his number one, most favorite kid in the whole

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Speaker 2: world was my little brother. They went everywhere together as

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Speaker 2: seventies kids. We were free range and my brother and

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Speaker 2: his friends were explorers. They swam in the creek, rode

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Speaker 2: their bikes for miles, and climbed anything in everything they

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Speaker 2: could find.

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Speaker 1: It really was like that.

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Speaker 2: Also, guys, no sunblock, we didn't fuck no, no, it's sunburn.

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Speaker 1: All the way. And also like a lot of corduroy

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00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,880
Speaker 1: in that situation in the summery. Sorry, but I just

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00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,000
Speaker 1: saw a picture of me and my sister and my

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00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,400
Speaker 1: cousins Eileen and Mary Kay and they had come to

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Speaker 1: visit us. So Patti O'Hara, who lives across the street,

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Speaker 1: she brought her horse down so they could sit on

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Speaker 1: the horse. Because they were from San Francisco, so they

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00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,120
Speaker 1: did excit do stuff like that. Me and my and

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Speaker 1: Aileen are both wearing leotards only, and I'm like six

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Speaker 1: and she's probably twelve, and it was and we looked

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Speaker 1: at the picture together and she goes, I think those

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Speaker 1: were our bathing suits. And I was like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I remember wearing it for ballet and also as a

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Speaker 1: bathing suit. Yeah, I love it, and we weren't. I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's fine. I could have had a bathing suit,

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Speaker 1: and obviously my parents could afford ballet lessons and a

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Speaker 1: fucking horse. No, that wasn't It was Patty Crys. Okay,

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Speaker 1: one day, I'm going to stop interrupting you. I swear

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Speaker 1: to God. Okay.

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Speaker 2: One day, my brother had to go someplace where Dylan

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Speaker 2: the dog could not go. Can't remember where, but whatever,

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Speaker 2: so my mom made sure he was inside. As my

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Speaker 2: brother was leaving. That dog cried and whined and barked

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Speaker 2: and cried some more for long enough that my mom

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Speaker 2: assumed it was okay to let him out and the

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Speaker 2: kids were free range and so were dogs back then

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Speaker 2: by the way, he bolted out the door without touching

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Speaker 2: the porch steps and headed straight to the local park,

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Speaker 2: where they spent a lot of time while hunting for

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Speaker 2: my brother. He eventually ended up at the park's pool.

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Speaker 2: My sister, who absolutely cannot deal with animals of any

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00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,760
Speaker 2: kind there's always one and her five kids were already

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00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,040
Speaker 2: at the pool, so finding familiar faces, he decided to

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00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,840
Speaker 2: join them and rested a while in the grasspool side.

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00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,040
Speaker 2: Couldn't find his favorite, so he found some family.

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Speaker 1: He's just like I still do. I'll sit here.

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00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,040
Speaker 2: My sister was not happy about it and called my

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Speaker 2: mom to come get him. This was, of course laughable,

340
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,720
Speaker 2: and my mom told her he knows his way home.

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Speaker 1: You can't get a ride from your pants for yourself.

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Speaker 1: The dog's not getting a wrestle.

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Speaker 2: He wanted to leave, so he needs to suffer the consequences.

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00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,960
Speaker 2: It's the seventies. After a good rest, he decided to

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00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,640
Speaker 2: join my nieces and nephews near the water, eventually getting

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00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:43,760
Speaker 2: in line for the diving board and picturing like a

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Speaker 2: golden retriever like a really sweet or a yellow lab.

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00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:50,600
Speaker 2: Yellow Lab like a mister peanut Butter. Everyone was quite

349
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Speaker 2: known horseman. Oh yes, it's what's the name, Paul Upton

350
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,960
Speaker 2: comes the character. It's like the best. Everyone was quite

351
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,360
Speaker 2: tickled and nobody thought he would go through it, but

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Speaker 2: of course he did. He got in line like he's

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Speaker 2: a dog, and he got in line for a diving board.

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Speaker 2: Didn't even like bust his way to the front. He's like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know th dogs don't know what lines are.

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Speaker 1: No, but they're like, I trust you, guys. I've hung

357
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Speaker 1: out with you guys long enough to know that I'm

358
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,800
Speaker 1: either going to get like a piece of popcorn or

359
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Speaker 1: some good times totally.

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Speaker 2: If you're standing like this, I'm gonna stand like this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 2: It was not the high dive but the medium hight board.

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00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,399
Speaker 2: He successfully jumped and swam to the edge, where he

364
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,919
Speaker 2: used the ladder to get out Dylan. He managed to

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00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,919
Speaker 2: get three jumps in before the lifeguards were able to

366
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Speaker 2: grab him by the collar, or were they even trying.

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00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,119
Speaker 2: They knew him and were not afraid. My sister was

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Speaker 2: dying of embarrassment and told her kids to pretend they

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Speaker 2: didn't know him. Shut up, she's terrible, which they obviously

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00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:45,040
Speaker 2: didn't do.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,760
Speaker 2: You're the fucking star of the pool.

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Speaker 1: Does my brother's doe exactly?

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Speaker 2: He was my best friend for fifteen years and I

375
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:56,240
Speaker 2: have only one decent picture of him. Oh I have

376
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 2: that two where it's like I have like three pictures

377
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Speaker 2: of my childhood cat, right who I was with twenty years.

378
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,439
Speaker 2: I have it framed in several sizes all over my

379
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:04,719
Speaker 2: house to this day.

380
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,320
Speaker 1: I would kill for a picture of our dog PEPSI.

381
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 2: Okay, you can find one. Oh a, I stay sexy

382
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,000
Speaker 2: and always wait your turn.

383
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:20,520
Speaker 1: Tree Tree legendary email the dog got in lined.

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Speaker 2: You know, dogs are like the only animals that understand

385
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,239
Speaker 2: what pointing is. Like that you're trying to get her

386
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,560
Speaker 2: to look over there there, not like look at my finger.

387
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:28,680
Speaker 1: Makes sense.

388
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,359
Speaker 2: Sakida's all the time. It's so great.

389
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,199
Speaker 1: I used to say to George when we were at

390
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,240
Speaker 1: the dog park and Frank would run up into the hills,

391
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,879
Speaker 1: I know I'd go go get that dog, and she

392
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 1: would do it. I knew subject line of this is

393
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 1: trash kid or creepy kid. You decide, Hey ladies, love y'all,

394
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,959
Speaker 1: love the pod you want trash kids? I was that

395
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,640
Speaker 1: with an extra dash of creepy. So it's a self

396
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,640
Speaker 1: reporting email. I'm nine years old and it's a warm

397
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 1: summer evening at my local softball fields, a wonderful place

398
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,280
Speaker 1: that smelled of burghers and hot dogs and a place

399
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 1: where I always had a friend coach or distant family

400
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 1: member throwing in the distance. So my mom and I

401
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,480
Speaker 1: always like to arrive extra early before my games. And

402
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,439
Speaker 1: then parentheses, it says, probably to get me out of

403
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,399
Speaker 1: the house and burn as much energy as possible. We

404
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,600
Speaker 1: quickly run into my teammate, also nine years old, and

405
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:20,520
Speaker 1: her little sister six and dad parentheses, probably with the

406
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,720
Speaker 1: same motive, and we ask our parents if we can

407
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,199
Speaker 1: go explore. I'm sure they thought we meant to go

408
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,199
Speaker 1: to the playground when they said yes, but no, we

409
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:32,160
Speaker 1: didn't have time for the playground. We wanted to find treasure,

410
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 1: and trasure we did find. After getting the nod of approval,

411
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 1: we march off into the woods that surrounded the field.

412
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,919
Speaker 1: We walked for a bit along the railroad tracks that

413
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,879
Speaker 1: were just on the other side of the tree line.

414
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,840
Speaker 1: And then a parentheses, it says, I know, so unsafe,

415
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,880
Speaker 1: but we thought we were so cool. And then it says,

416
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:53,880
Speaker 1: until we see something in the distance, a skull, lake

417
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 1: bones ribs. What a discovery. They must be dinosaur bones.

418
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 1: What can you believe this? They must be so old.

419
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 1: How much money do you think we could get? Our

420
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,960
Speaker 1: questions and dreams filled the air well, we must take

421
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,800
Speaker 1: these back with us. People must know of our discovery.

422
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 1: I got the three of us pick up as many

423
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 1: bones as we can carry. What me proudly and carefully

424
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:18,399
Speaker 1: holding the skull?

425
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 2: Child with a skull's pretty fucking ey.

426
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 1: It's like, uh, children on the corn, lean on what

427
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:26,879
Speaker 1: is it?

428
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 2: Me?

429
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,119
Speaker 1: Stand by me, not on me.

430
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:30,760
Speaker 2: It's totally different.

431
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,200
Speaker 1: That's for the middle aged one.

432
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 2: I almost said gooonies, and then I was like, that's

433
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 2: stand on me.

434
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,639
Speaker 1: Okay, stand by me, stand on, stand on me, okay, okay.

435
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,840
Speaker 1: So colding a skull, we hurry back to our parents,

436
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 1: who are watching a game and blissfully ignorant to our whereabouts.

437
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 1: I shout to them, Mama, look what we found. We

438
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 1: found dinosaur bones. My mother's jaw drops. My friend's father

439
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,200
Speaker 1: basically knocks them out of our hands. I'm sure he

440
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 1: must have been terrified of what diseases his two beautiful

441
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 1: daughters were holding. And every other parent in the stand

442
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 1: is just staring at these three children holding what turned

443
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,399
Speaker 1: out to be a deer skeleton.

444
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:08,640
Speaker 2: Holy shit, that's a big skull. Yes, it is big, long,

445
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 2: leg long.

446
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 1: It's kind of a small horse. Our hopes are dashed

447
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 1: looking back I'm not sure why we immediately assumed dinosaurs,

448
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,360
Speaker 1: especially being kids from the South who had seen their

449
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,440
Speaker 1: fair share of dead deer. Anyway, my mom must have

450
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 1: washed on my hands ten times before the game started,

451
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: and I was not allowed to roam with friends for

452
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,880
Speaker 1: a long time. Thanks for reading, and thanks for being

453
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:35,159
Speaker 1: you stay sexy and don't automatically assume dinosaur bones court me.

454
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,120
Speaker 2: Its are so creepy, so gross.

455
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 1: And also like, let's bring these bones somewhere.

456
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's bring them out of here and show the

457
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,639
Speaker 2: world it needs to be seen. Yes, which is the

458
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 2: find of a century. We're archaeologists.

459
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 1: I do have to give a plug right now because

460
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 1: this past two weeks Frank has found a dead deer

461
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 1: in the backyard somewhere because he keeps bringing bones and

462
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 1: another dear.

463
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,120
Speaker 2: Oh, here, this is the start of a fucking one

464
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 2: of our stories.

465
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: I know it sounds like a lie because I'm just

466
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 1: going along with what just happened, But this I believe.

467
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:08,639
Speaker 2: You have a pictures.

468
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 1: But if it's a human, no, no, because the first

469
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,520
Speaker 1: one he came up with had a little hoof and

470
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 1: it still had a little fur on it. And the

471
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 1: other day I was walking through the front room and

472
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 1: I looked down and there was just a spine. Fuck.

473
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,919
Speaker 1: It's wild and it keeps happening.

474
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,639
Speaker 2: Stop, no more bones, I know.

475
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:29,119
Speaker 1: No, thanks dog, but good dog, but good dog, Frank.

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00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 2: Send us your fucked up bone stories, Oh, fucked up

477
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 2: bone stories.

478
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 1: Sucked up bone stories any kind? Did you break a

479
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 1: bone and it stuck out?

480
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:38,439
Speaker 2: Ye?

481
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 1: Ye?

482
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah yeah. Do you have like metal plates? We

483
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:41,720
Speaker 2: want to know?

484
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: Bring it on, yeah and stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye, Elvis.

485
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 2: Do you want a cookie?

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00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,640
Speaker 1: This has been an exactly right production.

487
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 2: Our senior producers are Alle Hundra Keck and Molly Smith.

488
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 1: Our editor Aristotle las Veda.

489
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 2: This episode was mixed by Leonis Quillacci.

490
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 1: Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.

491
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 2: And follow the show on Instagram at my Favorite Murder.

492
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 1: Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple

493
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 1: Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,119
Speaker 2: And now you can watch us on exactly Writes YouTube page.

495
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 2: And while you're there, please like and subscribe.

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00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: Ye bye bye