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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Bridget and this is Emily, and you're

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Speaker 1: listening to stuff mom never told you, and today we're

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Speaker 1: kind of doing a companion episode to our New Year's

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Speaker 1: Resolution episode. I feel like if you listen to that episode,

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Speaker 1: which you definitely should, you probably heard me talking about

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Speaker 1: how I don't really do New Year's resolutions. I sort

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Speaker 1: of I don't ever really make them, and that's more

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Speaker 1: or less true. But then after talking it through with Emily,

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Speaker 1: I realized I actually do have a New Year's resolution

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Speaker 1: of sorts um that I didn't share on the episode,

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Speaker 1: and I figured, why not. No time like the present,

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Speaker 1: No time like the present, And I think it's something

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Speaker 1: that will be good to share in the sense of

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Speaker 1: sort of radical honesty, because who knows how many listeners

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Speaker 1: out there are sort of at lee doing the same thing,

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Speaker 1: and that is in I am trying to be more

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Speaker 1: mindful about my alcohol consumption, and if the data is

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Speaker 1: to be believed, I am not alone. To be clear,

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Speaker 1: I'm not someone who I think has like a drinking

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Speaker 1: problem or is a problem drinker. Has never sort of

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Speaker 1: come up in my life in those ways. But honestly,

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Speaker 1: this is gonna sound a bit dumb. What got me

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Speaker 1: really thinking about it was this interview that Chrissy Teagan

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Speaker 1: did in Cosmo magazine. She talks about how she just

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Speaker 1: sort of realized that she was drinking a lot and

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Speaker 1: not really thinking about it. She says, I got used

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Speaker 1: to being in hair and makeup and having a glass

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Speaker 1: of wine, and then that glass of wine and carrying

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Speaker 1: me over to the next one before the award show.

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Speaker 1: Then that glass of wine would carry over into me

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Speaker 1: having one before the award show, and then a bunch

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Speaker 1: during the award show, and then I felt bad making

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Speaker 1: an ass of myself to people that I really respected,

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Speaker 1: and that feeling there's nothing like that. You feel horrible.

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Speaker 1: It's not a good look for me, not a good

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Speaker 1: look for John, not a good look for anyone. And

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Speaker 1: I thought same, I relate. Do you relate to that? Definitely? Definitely.

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Speaker 1: I think there are different times in our lives and

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Speaker 1: we should acknowledge a trigger warning to upfront here for

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Speaker 1: anyone who is struggling with or has struggled with addiction alcoholism,

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Speaker 1: whose life has been touched by alcoholism in your family

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Speaker 1: or loved ones or friends, you know that this is

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Speaker 1: a ubiquitous part of our culture. That's in some ways

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Speaker 1: made more difficult to talk about with such courageous honesty.

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Speaker 1: So thank you for making this a priority, bridget Um,

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Speaker 1: because it is so widely accepted and beyond widely accepted,

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Speaker 1: you know, ubiquitous in terms of its accessibility, and you're

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Speaker 1: almost deemed weird when you're not drinking, and there are

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Speaker 1: many social instances in which drinking is an expected part

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Speaker 1: of the whole celebratory environment. Absolutely um. That has been

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Speaker 1: my experience on and thinking about Chrissie's story. Something that

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Speaker 1: really jumped out at me is how if you're someone

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Speaker 1: who works a stressful job, or you're, you know, just

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Speaker 1: living your life, maybe you do have a couple of

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Speaker 1: glasses of wine here and there, and it's easy just

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Speaker 1: would have not see the ways that they can add up,

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Speaker 1: or just would have have it be a habitual thing

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Speaker 1: that you do without even really thinking about and so

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Speaker 1: or or is like a part of your self care regiment. Exactly,

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Speaker 1: you can it can almost be twisted in this very overwhelming,

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Speaker 1: stressful b S world that we've been faced with for

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Speaker 1: this presidency. Especially exactly so that has been my experience

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Speaker 1: to a t Many of y'all know that a while

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Speaker 1: back while posting this podcast, was also working on the

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Speaker 1: digital team at Planned Parenthood. And let me tell you,

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Speaker 1: not only is that work very fulfilling and very you know,

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Speaker 1: gives you warm fuzzies, it's also very taxing, very exhausting,

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Speaker 1: very frustrating, very overwhelming. You know, there are lots of

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Speaker 1: times where you screamed at your desk. I've pounded on

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Speaker 1: my desk at that job. I've screamed out and anger.

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Speaker 1: And the first thing when I would get home in

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Speaker 1: the evening that would want to do is have a

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Speaker 1: glass of wine. Would open my door and be like

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Speaker 1: Trump nest with us all day. I need a glass

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Speaker 1: of wine. And generally that would be my routine, you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean, unless you're running to studio with me to

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Speaker 1: then try to compartmentalize the news cycle of the day,

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Speaker 1: which is no easy feat. When you're doing an episode

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Speaker 1: on I Don't Know Me Too, you know, it's a

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Speaker 1: really psychologically taxing, uh double duty that you were playing

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Speaker 1: for a long time there. I can relate quite frankly,

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Speaker 1: and you know, we like to pour our all into

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Speaker 1: all these episodes, but also we are forced to compartmentalize

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Speaker 1: and put on pause whatever is happening in your day

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Speaker 1: that day to really focus in on a singular topic

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Speaker 1: at a time, or at you know, three at a

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Speaker 1: time in studio sessions. Totally, that's totally totally it. Um

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Speaker 1: So in my day, you know, come home, first class

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Speaker 1: of wine, then I maybe make dinner or work on

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Speaker 1: the podcast, and while doing that, have another glass of wine,

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Speaker 1: and maybe a glass of wine with dinner. And you know,

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Speaker 1: listen that maybe it doesn't sound like the behavior of

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Speaker 1: a raging party animal, you know, working on a feminist

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Speaker 1: podcast over a bottle of wine. But if you do,

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Speaker 1: if you do the math, that adds up to three

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Speaker 1: glasses of wine over the course of one evening. Keep

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Speaker 1: in mind, the CDC says that for a woman, four

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Speaker 1: drinks is technically binge drinking, and so before you even

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Speaker 1: know it, you're hair below a night have been drinking

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Speaker 1: as you're like average week night. And for all of

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Speaker 1: y'all who heard us on the Delightful Women in Whiskey episode, No,

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Speaker 1: I'm a lightweight, Like four drinks is enough to basically

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Speaker 1: black me out at this point. Uh. And on occasion,

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Speaker 1: on a big night out like I don't know, New

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Speaker 1: Year's Eve, perhaps I am reminded of what a lightweight

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Speaker 1: I've become, and I swear it's not from a lack

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Speaker 1: of practice. It's just that I can't hold a drink anymore.

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Speaker 1: And that sneaks up on you when you're in an

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Speaker 1: environment where three or four drinks is you know, running

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Speaker 1: the mill over the course of a six hour party

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Speaker 1: or a six hour evening. I think you're exactly right.

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Speaker 1: I think that we it's easy to sort of not

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Speaker 1: see certain behaviors as problem behaviors, even if you know

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Speaker 1: medical professionals say well, technically that was night have binge drinking.

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Speaker 1: It's easy to sort of have it not feel that way,

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Speaker 1: particularly when it's so accepted. And I think for me

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Speaker 1: here in d C, as I'm sure you can attest to,

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Speaker 1: I work in politics. People in politics like to drink.

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Speaker 1: He sees a drinking city, and it's really difficult to

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Speaker 1: get away from that. At times, it almost feels impossible

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Speaker 1: to get away from that exactly. In fact, a new

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Speaker 1: report just named d C is the number to state

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Speaker 1: or in this case, district in our country for the

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Speaker 1: percentage of adults who consume alcohol and number one for

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Speaker 1: the percentage of heavy drinkers. According to detox dot Net.

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Speaker 1: And to be clear, I think part of the intimate

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Speaker 1: connection between alcohol and politics is that alcohol is the

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Speaker 1: social lubricant of power. Right. I've talked candidly in my

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Speaker 1: work at Boston Up and especially on a podcast interview

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Speaker 1: I recently did with a friend of ours from the

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Speaker 1: work at Festival w n y c S Women's Podcasting

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Speaker 1: Festival who I met there. Her name is Terice Barbato.

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Speaker 1: She has an awesome podcast called That's What She Said,

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Speaker 1: And I recently did an interview that went into detail

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Speaker 1: about the really toxic relationship that I found myself in

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Speaker 1: at the very start of my career. I was a

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Speaker 1: state director working in politics in Rhode Island at the time,

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Speaker 1: and at the time I was living with, in love with,

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Speaker 1: and cared deeply for, a brilliant, hardworking social justice advocate,

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Speaker 1: elected official, high functioning alcoholic. And there is just nothing

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Speaker 1: that will screw you up more than loving an addict

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Speaker 1: and only realizing years later that a lot of what

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Speaker 1: you thought was true is not true. And it also

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Speaker 1: really messed my relationship up with booze and made me

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Speaker 1: inherently uncomfortable with heavy drinkers and being around heavy drinkers,

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Speaker 1: and it caused me to sort of fall into these

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Speaker 1: habits of codependency, of counting other people's drinks and sort

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Speaker 1: of monitoring what was the situation. And I left that

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Speaker 1: relationship with some problematic drinking habits of my own. When

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Speaker 1: I drank, I tended to get black out drunk, I mean.

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Speaker 1: And that was for a while. I was in therapy

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Speaker 1: myself and and was fortunate enough to get a lot

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Speaker 1: of support and understand what was going on, um in

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Speaker 1: my own relationship to alcohol and my relationship to my

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Speaker 1: ex at the time. But it's pernicious because it is

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Speaker 1: so powerful in the world of politics, and it's I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's not only politics, right, everyone's careers can benefit from

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Speaker 1: networking at happy hour. It just so happens that this

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Speaker 1: city has happy hour every day and boozy brunches, bottomless

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Speaker 1: brunches on Sundays exactly exactly. Um. Something that's to that

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Speaker 1: to me in the story that you were just sharing

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Speaker 1: with this idea of sort of being high functioning. So

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Speaker 1: many people I know, particularly people who are brilliant political

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Speaker 1: minds or brilliant writers. Because journalism and media is also

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Speaker 1: a big drinking industry, so many of them probably could

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Speaker 1: stand to look at their substance the way that substances

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Speaker 1: show up in their lives. But because they have fabulous careers,

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Speaker 1: because they have because they're ask kickers, because they're so amazing,

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Speaker 1: because they're so smart, we sort of don't we assume

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Speaker 1: they have it all together. And I think that's exactly

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Speaker 1: what my my sort of semi New Year's I hate

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Speaker 1: using the word resolution. I want to come I need

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Speaker 1: to come up with like a I like it, and

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Speaker 1: you know you you don't have to be cool this know,

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Speaker 1: I know this is my Yeah, So you know. I

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Speaker 1: think why I'm doing this is because it seems like,

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Speaker 1: if you're someone who wants to ask questions about how

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Speaker 1: alcohol shows up in your life, you're an addict, You're

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Speaker 1: it's a problem, and there's a stigma around it, and

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Speaker 1: I think, why is that right? Like? Why why should

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Speaker 1: I feel weird about coming on this podcast and saying

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Speaker 1: I'm intentionally paying attention to the way that alcohol has

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Speaker 1: has shown up in my life, not because I'm getting

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Speaker 1: black out drunk every night, but because I want to

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Speaker 1: pay attention to it, and it's something that I feel

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Speaker 1: like we don't pay attention to Yeah, you're right. I

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Speaker 1: think there's so much stigma, which is very rude. If

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Speaker 1: you come to realize how many alcoholics are walking amongst us,

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Speaker 1: it's it's kind of rare that people's lives aren't touched

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Speaker 1: by alcoholism or addiction in some form or another. I mean,

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Speaker 1: when you look at the numbers. In the United States alone,

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Speaker 1: seventeen point six million people, or one in every twelve adults,

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Speaker 1: suffer from alcohol abuse or dependence, along with several million

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Speaker 1: more who engage in risky binge drinking patterns that could

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Speaker 1: lead to alcohol problems. Now, alcohol problems is a pretty

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Speaker 1: wide net. And any time you find yourself feeling like

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Speaker 1: I would like to re evaluate, as Chrissie Teakin was,

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Speaker 1: what the impact alcohol and my consumption of alcohol has

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Speaker 1: on my life and how I'm showing up and how

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Speaker 1: I want to show up in the world. That's perfectly

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Speaker 1: valid for that to show up in that uh, that

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Speaker 1: bucket of sort of alcohol problems. And it doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: you've got to ship yourself off to rehab either. There's

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Speaker 1: this very hard line around the stigma that we bring

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Speaker 1: to alcoholism that's very unhelpful. Well, that's why I found

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Speaker 1: Chrissy Teagan's explanation so powerful because she explicitly says, listen,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't like external forces came and said you've got

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Speaker 1: a problem, or you know, this happened and I'm so embarrassed.

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Speaker 1: She just took a step back and wanted to reevaluate

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Speaker 1: and sort of think through how it showed up and

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Speaker 1: for her and what it caused her. Right, And I

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Speaker 1: remember having a day and again, my my stories with

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Speaker 1: alcohol are as I said, not like I was at

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Speaker 1: a raging party, you did fall out of a window.

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Speaker 1: I was college. That's what I can tell you some

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Speaker 1: college stories where you'd be like, wow, that's but you know,

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Speaker 1: I was figuring about yeah, the same. To be clear,

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Speaker 1: In fact, I think part of the reason my alcoholic

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Speaker 1: ex boyfriend was so normal seeming to me is because

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Speaker 1: I was in college when we first started dating. Exactly.

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Speaker 1: That's it's like, if you're an alcoholic and you want

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Speaker 1: to pass as like someone without a drinking problem data

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Speaker 1: college students, Definitely, it's like the best strategy that's real

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Speaker 1: for me. I remember one day where I was excited

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Speaker 1: to I think, do something. It was something out of

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Speaker 1: the house, something small or minor and I went out

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Speaker 1: drinking the night before and I didn't get black out drunk,

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Speaker 1: and I wasn't like raging. But the next day I

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Speaker 1: was hungover, and whatever the thing was I was looking

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Speaker 1: forward to, I couldn't go because I was on the

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Speaker 1: couch nursing a hangover, and you know, it was it

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Speaker 1: was something small in my life, but I thought, gee,

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Speaker 1: it's like I was looking forward to this thing all

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Speaker 1: week and now I can't go because I went out

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Speaker 1: drinking the night before and I just thought it wasn't

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Speaker 1: worth it. It wasn't because I could do that day over.

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Speaker 1: I would have done it differently. And I also think

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Speaker 1: for me, the way that alcohol has showed up in

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Speaker 1: my life is that, you know, not only working in

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Speaker 1: politics such as such a boozy industry, but I've worked

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Speaker 1: in the service industry and the restaurant industry, and a large,

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Speaker 1: you know portion of my friends currently work in bars

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Speaker 1: and restaurants, and that is not only is that a

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Speaker 1: boozy industry. In fact, according to the National Survey on

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Speaker 1: Drug Use and Health, the only industries with more alcohol

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Speaker 1: abuse and the service industry are the construction industry and

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Speaker 1: the mining industry. So it's a it's a hard drinking industry.

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Speaker 1: And you know when you're going to visit your friends

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Speaker 1: who tend bar, and that's hanging out with your friends

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Speaker 1: you tend to drink. Also, you got the hook of

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Speaker 1: with the best drinks, and like I've totally benefited from

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Speaker 1: having friends in the service industry. It is great. Have

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Speaker 1: you ever been a part of the lock in culture?

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Speaker 1: And I was a barmaid what the English called bartenders

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Speaker 1: or women bartenders in London during my study abroad experience

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Speaker 1: at the University College London shout out to UCL I

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Speaker 1: got a job at a wonderful little pub called the

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Speaker 1: Rocket right by King's Cross Station and for an entire semester,

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Speaker 1: after a Friday or Saturday night of tending bar, all evening,

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Speaker 1: two o'clock would roll around, we would kick everybody out,

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Speaker 1: clean up the bar, lock the doors, and then the

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Speaker 1: party would begin amongst all the staff. So that lock

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Speaker 1: and culture, which is still very big, not just in England,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure, but here in the United States as well,

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Speaker 1: encourages a lot of my friends in the service industry

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Speaker 1: to party until the sun comes up, sleep it off

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Speaker 1: all day long, and then go back to work. As

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Speaker 1: the evening falls and that is Hey, I gained twenty

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Speaker 1: pounds in beer weight, straight up be I didn't make

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Speaker 1: my best choices. I didn't make the best use of

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Speaker 1: my time in Europe. Although some would say that the

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Speaker 1: study bar experiences more than just what you learned in

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Speaker 1: the classroom, and that was certainly true for me. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I just feel like there is a culture

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Speaker 1: of being a happy, go lucky party person that comes

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Speaker 1: with an excessive, scientifically excessive amount of drinking. And I

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Speaker 1: feel like you've said it multiple times. You pride yourself

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Speaker 1: on being the party girl. Your the life of every

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Speaker 1: party I've ever been to. You enjoy drinking, so it's

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Speaker 1: hard to examine a hobby that, like you say, you

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Speaker 1: also can feel some remorse over when you look back

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Speaker 1: in the grand scheme of things, like that's an okay

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Speaker 1: dichotomy to embrace. Yeah, I'm my whole life. I've been

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Speaker 1: known as the sort of the fun one quote unquote.

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Speaker 1: I remember in college when you know how in college

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Speaker 1: dudes are like talking about the girls and and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: so and so is the pretty one, and so and

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Speaker 1: so is the hot one. So my friends are always,

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Speaker 1: oh she's the hot one, and then she's the cool one,

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Speaker 1: and it was always pretty, she's a lot of fun.

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Speaker 1: That was me. I was the fun girl, and so

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Speaker 1: I think that because of that, drinking me kind of

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Speaker 1: became part of my identity. Like, like the idea that

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Speaker 1: I would examine something that seems so closely linked to

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Speaker 1: how people think of me when they think of how

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Speaker 1: I show up in the world was difficult. I've seen

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Speaker 1: this before with you as we've gone out drinking after

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Speaker 1: many a podcast session. I wonder if you feel this

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Speaker 1: need to entertain, because I almost see you kind of

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Speaker 1: putting on a performance. And y'all, if we ever get

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Speaker 1: our act together and have an actual meet up in

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Speaker 1: d C, which I know we've been talking about and

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Speaker 1: dying to have, and schedules have been challenging, but we

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Speaker 1: will figure that out, you will see bridget Todd the

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Speaker 1: entertainer because when you were out for a night, you

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Speaker 1: are on and it's never about you chilling, It's about

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Speaker 1: making sure like the environment is good for other people.

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Speaker 1: I almost feel like you you perform for other people

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Speaker 1: in that way. Yeah, I'll put it this way. I

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Speaker 1: think I've always been someone who my sort of everyday

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Speaker 1: superpower is to get others to feel comfortable and open up.

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Speaker 1: And so I if we're out and I can tell

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Speaker 1: someone feels awkward, I'm very good at getting someone to like,

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Speaker 1: loosen up, relax, telephonny story, laugh, whatever happen to me.

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Speaker 1: I mean, my god, Bridget, I mean it's a talent.

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Speaker 1: But it's also like a curse, right, because if you're

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Speaker 1: always thinking, you know, if your number one priority is

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Speaker 1: I want everyone to feel good, be happy, to be relaxed,

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Speaker 1: to be laughing, be having a good time. That if

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Speaker 1: that becomes part of how you see yourself, it can

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Speaker 1: be a little problematic. Yeah, not to mention, you're also

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Speaker 1: the pretty one and the cool one. So literally every

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Speaker 1: dude in my college would disagree you're all wrong. Obviously, Uh, Bridget,

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Speaker 1: Todd's modesty strikes again, and I'm here to debunk the myth. No, well,

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Speaker 1: I think I think you're totally right, and I think

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Speaker 1: that you know, before we dive too deep into a

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Speaker 1: therapy session here in the studio, Bridget's most innermost thoughts,

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Speaker 1: it's this was I really struggled with weather to bring

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Speaker 1: this to the pot. This is an episode that I

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Speaker 1: hope that no one I know listens to because it's

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Speaker 1: not something I'm really comfortable talking about with friends unless

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Speaker 1: that we're very, very close. It's not something that I

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Speaker 1: want people to be examining on my behalf, Like if

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Speaker 1: someone sees me with a picture of a drink on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and awesome to be like, I thought you weren't

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Speaker 1: drinking this month or whatever? Right, this is something that

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Speaker 1: I think us right, right, And so this is something

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Speaker 1: it's you can probably tell difficult from me to talk

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Speaker 1: about because it's so personal. But I think if there

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Speaker 1: are people and the research suggests that there are, who

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Speaker 1: are also reevaluating thinking through how alcohol shows up in

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Speaker 1: their lives, why can't we all do it together? I

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Speaker 1: completely agree, And this is something that I've done myself

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Speaker 1: in the years following that relationship, because you know, there's

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Speaker 1: a many different shades of what might be deemed alcoholism.

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Speaker 1: And interestingly, most people who drink too much, according to

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Speaker 1: Dr Robert Brewer at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,

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Speaker 1: are not alcohol dependent or alcoholics. It's this idea that

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Speaker 1: they're excessive drinkers, which can cover several different groups binge drinkers,

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Speaker 1: heavy drinkers, meaning men who have more than fifteen drinks

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Speaker 1: in a week or women who have more than eight

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Speaker 1: drinks in a week. Everybody's counting on their fingers right now,

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Speaker 1: which is good. Um, women who drink, drink, pregnancy, anyone

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Speaker 1: under the age of twenty one who drinks. And so

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Speaker 1: if you're someone like me who likes to drink, you

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Speaker 1: might be thinking, oh, great news. According to this research,

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Speaker 1: I am not in fact a problem drinker, or I

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Speaker 1: am not in fact someone who is an alcoholic. I

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Speaker 1: can just keep heavy drinking with reassurance and I don't

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Speaker 1: have a problem. But here's why that's wrong. The knowledge

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Speaker 1: is that only ten of heavy drinkers are actual alcoholics.

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Speaker 1: May sound reassuring, but that doesn't mean that the other

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Speaker 1: don't also have problems with drinking. Joseph Noinsky, PhD and

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Speaker 1: co author of the book Almost Alcoholic, which I feel

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Speaker 1: like is a really perfect title, points this out. In

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Speaker 1: his book, he describes how drinking negatively affects up to

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Speaker 1: one third of drinkers who aren't actually classified as having

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Speaker 1: an alcohol use disorder. He writes, there are many people

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Speaker 1: in the almost alcoholic zone who are having alcohol related

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Speaker 1: problems with their health, their relationships and social lives and

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Speaker 1: even their work. But who don't connect the dots between

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Speaker 1: these problems and they're drinking. These people dismiss the possibility

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Speaker 1: of being alcoholics, and they truly don't qualify under current definitions.

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Speaker 1: But maybe to take a step back and look how

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Speaker 1: drinking is affecting their lives. That speaks so strongly to

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Speaker 1: me because at one point in my life, shortly after

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Speaker 1: I'd gotten out of that really toxic relationship, and I

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Speaker 1: was starting to recognize that, wow, the amount of alcohol

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Speaker 1: that I was consuming when I was going out for

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Speaker 1: a night of partying was putting me in dangerous situations.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like we've all had those nights, and

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Speaker 1: you know, I think we're lucky if we can look

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Speaker 1: back at those nights and say, wow, that was almost

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Speaker 1: something really dangerous. And one of them for me was

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Speaker 1: the fact that when I did get very drunk out

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Speaker 1: partying with a group of people, my go to would

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Speaker 1: be the like runaway. At some point in the night,

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Speaker 1: I fled the scene. One of my body was like rebelling.

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Speaker 1: When I was realizing I'm so drunk, my instinct was

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Speaker 1: to flight, basically, And there were many times when I realized,

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Speaker 1: like I'm alone, I'm heading back to my apartment. My

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Speaker 1: poor parents. I hope they don't listen to this, But

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Speaker 1: like it was, it was dangerous. There were dangerous situations,

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Speaker 1: and I was fortunately, you know, not rescued, I would say,

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Speaker 1: but helped by kind people to make sure I got

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Speaker 1: home safe and sound. And I'm talking strangers and police officers.

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Speaker 1: So I just remember waking up the next day after

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Speaker 1: an altercation like that and thinking about my consumption as

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Speaker 1: being something. This isn't so thing I've survived that was

400
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Speaker 1: part of a bad relationship. This is something I need

401
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 1: to deal with and I need to take responsibility for now.

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Speaker 1: And that's when I started going dry in January, which

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Speaker 1: I've been doing for a few years. Um. That's when

404
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 1: I started recognizing that it's okay for me to own

405
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 1: being a lightweight as opposed to trying to keep up

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Speaker 1: with the boys or keep up with women who can

407
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:28,199
Speaker 1: drink me under the table quite frankly. And I just

408
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:34,400
Speaker 1: think it's so worth evaluating your own danger or your

409
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Speaker 1: your own ability to put yourself in situations, even if

410
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 1: it's just like Christy Teagan, who might embarrass herself or

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Speaker 1: in front of people she respects, or God forbid something

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Speaker 1: much much scarier than that exactly. And I want to

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Speaker 1: talk through how this idea of a dry january is

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Speaker 1: showing up right now in January after this quick break

415
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Speaker 1: and we're back just sharing some of our war stories,

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Speaker 1: from survival, survival stories, from lives as within figuring out

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00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,360
Speaker 1: the way that we use alcohol. Um. And that's why

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Speaker 1: I'm so interested in this idea of a dry January.

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Speaker 1: So to be clear, I'm not committing to a dry

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Speaker 1: January necessarily. I'm committing to a drinking less january thinking

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Speaker 1: about it. Do you think you could do like a week?

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Speaker 1: Just do what I'm doing. I'm I haven't had a

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Speaker 1: drink since New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve was my

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Speaker 1: last drink. Same, Yeah, I'm down if you're down. Yeah

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Speaker 1: I did. I didn't do it last year or the

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Speaker 1: year before, but I did it for two years prior

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Speaker 1: and it was great. Yeah, I mean, I'm down with

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Speaker 1: doing it. There are a couple of there are a

429
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:45,959
Speaker 1: couple of things I have on the schedule that I'm like, well,

430
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 1: I'm definitely gonna drink that I'm I'm going to drink then,

431
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: So I just don't want to set myself up for

432
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 1: a goal that I know I'm not going to meet.

433
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:56,200
Speaker 1: It's not about perfection. That's flexibility is so real that

434
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 1: it's so real, um and so dry January. This was

435
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 1: something I had actually never really even heard of. Um.

436
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,680
Speaker 1: It really took off in the UK, but the first

437
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 1: time in the research that I found that it showed

438
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 1: up was in nineteen forty two. Sober January was a

439
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 1: campaign pushed in Finland as part of the country's war

440
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 1: effort against Russia, but in modern days. According to The

441
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 1: Sudden newspaper, the official campaign started in the UK around

442
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 1: eleven by a nonprofit called Alcohol Concern and so basically

443
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 1: the idea behind dry January came when an Alcohol Concern

444
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 1: employee decided to not drink during the month because he

445
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 1: was running a half marathon in Debruary and this really

446
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 1: took off after that. In twenty twelve, Alcohol Concern decided

447
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 1: to launch their first dry January campaign, which would start

448
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:42,679
Speaker 1: in um. The first ever campaign saw just under four thousand,

449
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 1: five hundred people take part, and by January it was

450
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: up to seventeen thousand people. In two thousand and seven

451
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: it was up to five million who were on board

452
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 1: of the campaign, and in a country like England, where

453
00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: once again I have slang there, in the country of England,

454
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 1: they pride themselves on their beer consumption just as much

455
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 1: as their cheese consumption. You know what I mean. I

456
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:10,159
Speaker 1: feel like that's a really astounding number, and good on

457
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 1: alcohol concern for making this such a huge campaign, and

458
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 1: it absolutely trickled over the US. I've heard people here

459
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 1: call it dry Uary, and to me, it feels like

460
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: the perfect time of year to just wring your liver

461
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 1: out for one month after New Year's because the Lord

462
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 1: knows I need it. And I think I drank less

463
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,920
Speaker 1: on New Year's this year than ever in my adult life,

464
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,639
Speaker 1: and I still was like January one, Why am I

465
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 1: so hungover? This is not the tone I wanted to

466
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,919
Speaker 1: set for my New Year. It's the worst way to

467
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: spend I mean the worst. Yeah, It's like I feel

468
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 1: like it's one of the worst ways to ring in

469
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 1: what it's supposed to be a fresh star with a

470
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: headache watching a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon because you

471
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 1: can't leave your couch. And also we're getting older and

472
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: hangovers are gnarly, y'all, like hangovers in your thirties are

473
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,640
Speaker 1: no joke. That's a day killer. And I remember being

474
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,720
Speaker 1: twenty four and being hungover, and I look back on

475
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,119
Speaker 1: that and laugh, like, you weren't hungover. You didn't know

476
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 1: what to hang over. What's funny is that I actually

477
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 1: never got hangovers in my twenties. I didn't get I

478
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 1: had never even experienced one until my thirties. I thought

479
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: they were made up to scare young people out of drinking, like, oh,

480
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 1: you're gonna have a hangover, don't drink about all. There's

481
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: no such thing as a hangover. I remember the first

482
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 1: time I experienced a really bad hangover in my thirties.

483
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 1: I went to the urgin, I went to urgent care.

484
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 1: I was like, am I dying? They're like, no, you

485
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 1: just drank. You just drank a lot last night. I

486
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 1: had never explained. You're like, can I get an IVY

487
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:42,199
Speaker 1: drip please? Because that would cheer me right up. I

488
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 1: know what you might be thinking, are dry January is

489
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 1: actually effective? According to the research, they actually might be

490
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,879
Speaker 1: a study from University of Sussex says they can actually

491
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 1: be effective and making you more mindful about your drinking overall.

492
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:58,159
Speaker 1: According to this research, the fighting suggests that participates in

493
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 1: abstinence challenges such a dry january maybe associated with changes

494
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 1: towards healthier drinking and greater d R s E, which

495
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,639
Speaker 1: is basically how likely you are to turn down a

496
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 1: drink um and is unlikely to result in undesirable quote

497
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: rebound effects. Very few people reported increased alcohol consumption following

498
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,719
Speaker 1: a period of voluntary abstinence, and to go on. The

499
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 1: research that I found most compelling from that study was

500
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:27,119
Speaker 1: that even if you don't actually complete a full dry January,

501
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: you actually are still more likely to drink less throughout

502
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 1: the next six months. So if I don't actually make

503
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,920
Speaker 1: it a full month, this research suggests that even if

504
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 1: I have a drink here or there, you don't have

505
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 1: to be perfect and have a perfectly dry January to

506
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 1: still get results that last for potentially six months. I

507
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 1: totally understand that because it's about mindful awareness and that

508
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 1: dr SC thing which is so critical. It's the drink

509
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: refusal self efficacy, that ability to be at a party

510
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 1: and have everyone turned you and say do you want wine,

511
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 1: liquor or beer and for you to say water for

512
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 1: me please, and not die of humiliation and peer pressure

513
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 1: because for whatever reason. I mean, people look at you

514
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: sideways when you refuse an alcoholic beverage at a house,

515
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 1: but like I don't know what to give you, and

516
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 1: who is it that has this great stand up bit

517
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 1: about it? Um John Mullaney? Oh where? Yeah? Where. It's

518
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: like if you were to say, oh, I don't eat mannise,

519
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: people wouldn't be like, no, man, you have a bad

520
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,199
Speaker 1: experience with manna. Yeah. I mean. John mulaney is a

521
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 1: hilarious Irish American stand up comic who is in recovery.

522
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: He's an alcoholic and he jokes about a how much

523
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 1: blacking out used to cause him trouble and why he

524
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: does not drink anymore, but be when he would go

525
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 1: to friends parties, they would look at him like, I

526
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: literally don't know what to get you want some pickles

527
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 1: from the back of my fridge or I think I

528
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 1: have like a leftover towards I don't know what to

529
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 1: give you. That is how foreign abstinence from alcohol can

530
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 1: be for our culture, and that ability to refuse drink,

531
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: that ability to say no thank you takes muscle like

532
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,959
Speaker 1: it actually is a habit that you have to flex

533
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 1: over time and practice every time. It is not easy.

534
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 1: And I used to just get a soda water with

535
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: lime at the bar when I was really stepping back

536
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 1: from my alcohol consumption and trying to ease up on

537
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 1: the booze altogether, because I was so freaked out, um,

538
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: just so it would look like I was drinking, which

539
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: I would say is perfectly acceptable, but still skirting around

540
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 1: the self efficacy part. Right, you're not really unabashedly refusing

541
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 1: a drink, You're sneaking by right. I mean, I've done

542
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 1: the soda water with lime trick too, and it's effective.

543
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 1: But the real question is why should we have to

544
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: trick people into thinking that we're having a drink if

545
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: we don't want to drink? Like, why is it not

546
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 1: okay in our culture to just not drink at times

547
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 1: and have it be your own business of why that is,

548
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: and not have it be a thing. I guess I

549
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: would like to see some culture shift around how alcohol

550
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 1: shows up really for all of us, even for people

551
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 1: who are our light way to barely drink. I just

552
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: think that we don't live in a culture that is

553
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 1: really open to folks being mindful about how they drink

554
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 1: in an explicit way without it being something that's incredibly stigmatized, Yes, exactly, like, oh,

555
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 1: do we need to stage an intervention? And then you

556
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: have to think about the folks you might be ribbing

557
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 1: at the party for turning down to drink or making

558
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 1: fun of for being a lightweight might actually be struggling with,

559
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: like more hardcore alcoholism than you know. And when we

560
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: have a culture that's not tolerant of even analyzing alcohol

561
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 1: consumption or speaking critically and mindfully about our own consumption,

562
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 1: how must it feel to be in recovery and be

563
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: around people who are basically throwing such shade to anyone

564
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: who might refuse a drink. Know, it's just so intolerant

565
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 1: and disrespectful, and alcohol is so omnipresent already that for

566
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 1: folks in recovery it can be really hard to stay

567
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: and recovery as opposed to more hardcore drugs, which are

568
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 1: harder to get your hands on, uh than you know,

569
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 1: every single holiday party, every single wedding, every single gathering

570
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 1: of friends at the bar, every single networking opportunity, like

571
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 1: it's harder to avoid when it is this mainstream. And

572
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 1: even beyond that, think about how many different activities we

573
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 1: now and I'm I'm not throwing shade on this because

574
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 1: I think it's awesome, But how many activities have we

575
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: included booze in that we don't even necessarily think of

576
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 1: as drinking activities like booze yoga, what it's a it's

577
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 1: a thing, Okay. So Brad the boo is the one

578
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 1: who convinced me that all day drinking is insane. And

579
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 1: I never had the guts to look at it that

580
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,080
Speaker 1: way because it's so you know, omnipresent and brunch and

581
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: boozy softball leagues and all that other stuff. And then

582
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 1: I realized, like, I cannot have a day and have

583
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:09,239
Speaker 1: drinks during the day. Can't do it. I can't have

584
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: a drink in the park on a Saturday. That will

585
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 1: not work for my body. And once Brad acknowledged that

586
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 1: it was crazy and he doesn't understand anyone who does it,

587
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 1: I was like, Yes, this is the mentality I can

588
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: get on board with, because all that daytime that we've

589
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 1: made alcoholic all of a sudden is nuts. That's not

590
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 1: what alcohol is meant for. In my opinion. It doesn't

591
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: pair well with your surfboard yoga. I just do not

592
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: get it. I can't do it when I day drink.

593
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: I'm I'm out for the night. I'm like sleeping at

594
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: five pm. Yeah, I don't agree. I mean, I do

595
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: think that. I think culturally it's gotten a little out

596
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 1: of hand, But I do. I do love a good

597
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 1: boozy brunch. I can't. I do. I have boozy brunches

598
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 1: at every bost at boot Camp, but people do seem

599
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 1: to love it, And every single bust at boot Camp,

600
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: I go home from that brunch without a mimosa. I'm

601
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: like the only one who doesn't have a momos that

602
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 1: brunch because I need to get through the rest of

603
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: my day. Yeah, I guess. I guess my thinking is

604
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: if brunches on a Sunday or Saturday and you don't

605
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 1: have a big day anyway, I don't know. I guess

606
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: this sounds of justifying something that you were like, No,

607
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: it's really not a good idea. But I mean, I mean,

608
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 1: I think, with all self efficacy in mind, you have

609
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 1: to know yourself and your own body and your goals

610
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 1: for Sunday or Saturday or whatever day it is. And

611
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 1: I have found I enjoy my life more when I

612
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: do not. I like, unequivocally don't drink during the day. Yeah, yeah,

613
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever seen you drink drink and

614
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 1: other than our whiskey episode. Oh yeah, that was the

615
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: only time day. But it was a great episode. It

616
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 1: was worth it was worth it. It was worth it. Yeah,

617
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to throw shade on my favorite activities,

618
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: which are boozy brunch, but I just think it's okay

619
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: to enjoy a boozy brunch every now and then also

620
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 1: being critical of a culture where alcohol is creeping more

621
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: and more and more into our activities that we perhaps

622
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 1: we're never boozy to begin with, Yeah, I think it's

623
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: worth a critical eye. And I also hear that there

624
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: are some critiques of this concept of pure abstinence as well,

625
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 1: which when we look at it from a sex ad perspective,

626
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 1: those critiques carry over pretty pretty interestingly because in this

627
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 1: piece for Vogue, Laura Nelson writes about the fact that,

628
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: you know, dry January is basically an extreme diet, and

629
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 1: like all extreme diets, it can set people up to

630
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 1: yo yo afterwards, they might justify binge drinking prior to

631
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 1: dry January or immediately afterwards. It might set you up

632
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 1: for a sort of springboard effect instead of finding a

633
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 1: sense of balance. For whatever is right for you, with

634
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 1: that sense of flexibility and not striving for perfection, which

635
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 1: can sometimes set you up for failure. Yeah, I think

636
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 1: it's important to note that the research that we cided

637
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:08,240
Speaker 1: before says that most folks don't find themselves binge drinking

638
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 1: after a dry period. But I do think that it's

639
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 1: kind of one of those things where maybe it's not

640
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 1: a one size fits a thing. I can imagine someone saying, Oh,

641
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give up booze for all of January, so

642
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:21,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna really go hard December one, and then really

643
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 1: go hard on February one, and how it not be

644
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 1: such a helpful thing in their life. I think you're

645
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: absolutely right. And what's interesting is that this is especially

646
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: relevant for women in this moment we find ourselves in.

647
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 1: We're going to explore that further after this quick break

648
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:46,319
Speaker 1: and a word from our spensors, and we're back and

649
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:51,360
Speaker 1: we are talking through our relationship to booze. Quite frankly,

650
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 1: this concept of taking January to be more mindful about

651
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: alcohol consumption, and what I found most interesting in the

652
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 1: research is that this is especially relevant for women today.

653
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 1: Americans across the board are drinking more now than they

654
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: have in the past, according to a seventeen study from

655
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: JAMMA Psychiatry. But these increases in alcohol consumption was especially

656
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 1: higher in women. It kind of does remind me of

657
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 1: the women in whiskey episodes, because women are leaving the

658
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: whiskey renaissance if you think about it. According to this

659
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen study from J. A. M a Psychiatry, from men,

660
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: high risk drinking had increased fifteen percent and alcohol use

661
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 1: disorder had increased close to thirty For women, the high

662
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 1: risk drinking sort of population increased by sixty six zero

663
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: percent and alcohol youth disorder increased nearly eighty four percent.

664
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 1: So while alcoholism has traditionally in the past been a

665
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: disease dominated by men that is overwhelmingly impacted more men

666
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:04,399
Speaker 1: in terms of sheer quantities, the rates of women who

667
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: are now showcasing these kinds of symptoms and challenges with

668
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 1: their consumption is increasing at a much faster pace, which

669
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: is something that health professionals and public health advocates are

670
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,840
Speaker 1: concerned about. Well. One reason why the research suggests that

671
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 1: women are drinking more is this idea that women are

672
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 1: becoming more quote like men, and so they have more

673
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 1: educational opportunities more. But yeah, these educational and professional opportunities

674
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,720
Speaker 1: have women more aligned with men and thus have resulted

675
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 1: in women drinking quote like men more. Huh. Unfortunately, biologically

676
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 1: we are still not all like all men. And this

677
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 1: is not I don't want to draw hard lines on

678
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 1: the gender spectrum here right now, but it's true that

679
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 1: the definitions from the CDC about what qualifies as an

680
00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 1: alcoholic differs across a gender binary. I find very interesting. Exactly,

681
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:06,400
Speaker 1: it's a physiological standpoint that's like a very harsh line

682
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:10,799
Speaker 1: like men equals this in many drinks drinks um. I

683
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,360
Speaker 1: also found it really interesting that in addition to this

684
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 1: idea that women are having more professional educational opportunities that

685
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:20,359
Speaker 1: can lead to more problematic drinking. Another one is good

686
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 1: old fashioned stress. Women be stressing. I don't know if

687
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 1: you've noticed, but the patriarchy is a little stressful to

688
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 1: deal with and I think women and according to the research,

689
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 1: it's true women are drinking more because of that. According

690
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: to this piece in the Atlantic, women are basically drinking

691
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 1: to deal with all of the stress that comes from

692
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 1: trying to be a perfect white, a perfect mother, or

693
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:45,719
Speaker 1: perfect employees. Roll overload booze is yes, honestly, honestly is

694
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,319
Speaker 1: Jan Bauer, author of Alcoholism and Women, believes that women

695
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 1: are looking for what she calls quote oblivion drinking. And

696
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,719
Speaker 1: this is the idea that your day to day just

697
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 1: battling the world is so hard and you have to

698
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:02,479
Speaker 1: be so perfect that you're drinking just to blot out

699
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 1: the feeling that you need to be perfect for a

700
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,440
Speaker 1: few hours. You know who speaks to this a lot

701
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 1: in her Ted Talk is Burnet Brown, whose Ted Talk

702
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 1: is one of the most widely viewed talks ever on

703
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 1: shame and guilt, and she discusses this in the context

704
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 1: of a banana nut muffin and a beer. And when

705
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 1: you are having a tough day, when you're feeling stressed out,

706
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 1: when you don't want to feel the feelings that you

707
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 1: are feeling, it is easier and more socially acceptable to

708
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 1: just have a beer and a banana nut muffin and

709
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 1: numb out for a little while. And that's totally normal

710
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 1: in our society. But the unfortunate consequence is you can't

711
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 1: numb selectively. When you numb out the pain or the

712
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:49,320
Speaker 1: shame or the guilt or the trauma, that you're burying

713
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 1: and you're trying to avoid dealing with You also numb

714
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 1: out joy, You numb out your capacity for connection, You

715
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:59,399
Speaker 1: numb out your capacity for vulnerability and love. And that,

716
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 1: I mean, that was the kicker for me when I

717
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: was listening to her ted talk. Was just because it's

718
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 1: a societal norm to come home after a long day

719
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: and tune out an oblivion drink. Doesn't mean there aren't

720
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 1: serious downsides that we're missing out on by doing so.

721
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 1: I think that's so right because think about it, even

722
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,279
Speaker 1: in the most common sense terms. Let's that you have

723
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 1: an old friend that you're excited to catch up with

724
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 1: and they come to town. You go out drinking. You

725
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 1: might wake up and be like, I don't even remember

726
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 1: the conversation we had. In the moment, it could be fun,

727
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 1: but looking back, you're like, we were drinking, and I

728
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: numbed doubt the joy, the laughter or the stories, the

729
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 1: catching up because I was drinking. That's why I'm trying

730
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 1: to do more workout friend dates and like non alcoholic

731
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,879
Speaker 1: tea and coffee friend dates, which is a weird thing

732
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 1: to do because traditionally I would say, let's grab drinks,

733
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: and especially when I'm traveling to new cities from on

734
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: the road all the time. I don't want to be

735
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:58,800
Speaker 1: alone on the road all the time, and so I

736
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 1: always trying to meet up with friends ends and make

737
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 1: time for fun in my year of fun when I'm

738
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 1: on the road. But now I have been much more

739
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 1: deliberate about non alcoholic planned fun because you know, I

740
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 1: got a Google coundar like bubble on my on my

741
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 1: schedule for it. So it is interesting to think about

742
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: how you can get that connection without the expected default

743
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 1: of the alcohol that comes with it. So often I

744
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 1: think that's so true. I mean, we have a lot

745
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 1: to vent about. Donald Trump is president, and women are

746
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 1: under attack left and right all over the place. We

747
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 1: have a lot to sit with a friend, and we

748
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 1: have a lot to be angry about. And I saw

749
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 1: this crystallized in this beautiful, hilarious viral essay that started

750
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:47,280
Speaker 1: on medium by Christie Coulter called giving up Alcohol opened

751
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:50,280
Speaker 1: my eyes to the infuriating truth about why women drink.

752
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,280
Speaker 1: The reason, according to culture, the infuriating and ever present

753
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:57,800
Speaker 1: indignities that being a woman in society comes with is

754
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 1: forcing us all to sort of modify these feelings with

755
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 1: our boozy brunches and wine nights that stayings man. That

756
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 1: feels true. So she describes the act of getting sober,

757
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 1: and she writes, how did I not see this before?

758
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 1: I asked myself? You were too hammered, I answered back

759
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 1: the summer. I see though, I see that booze is

760
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,839
Speaker 1: the oil and our motors, the thing that keeps us

761
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 1: purring when we should be making other kinds of noise.

762
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:24,360
Speaker 1: Right She's basically saying we should be marching in the streets,

763
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,240
Speaker 1: we should be running for office, we should be taking

764
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:31,839
Speaker 1: what's you know, rightfully hours, equal access to power structures,

765
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 1: and instead we're saying, you know, the patriarchy and for

766
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 1: me another And I kind of get it. I get it.

767
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 1: It is this weird form of self preservation through numbing.

768
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:46,879
Speaker 1: But what she's really doing this piece is calling us

769
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: out for the bullets that that is, because that's not

770
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 1: actually helping anybody totally. She describes this kind of if

771
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,919
Speaker 1: you remember this commercial um for perfume, I can bring

772
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 1: them the bacon shryed up in the pan. It's about

773
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 1: being a twenty our modern woman who can do it all.

774
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 1: I can bring on the bacon and never let you

775
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 1: forget you give her usually an hour perfume. With a

776
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 1: twenty four hour woman, I can work too, five a club,

777
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: come home and read you take your reta. So the

778
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:20,439
Speaker 1: woman in the commercial sings this song, and she says,

779
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 1: I blame that for a lot first running the note,

780
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 1: and that women should have to pick a career keep

781
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 1: house their husband when the only same thing to do

782
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 1: is pick to an outsourced The third for making it

783
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 1: seem glamorous, for suggesting it was going to be fun,

784
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 1: and the tagline she dragged around, the eight hour perfume

785
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 1: for the twenty hour woman, just in case you thought

786
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 1: you can get one thing hour off the clock. The

787
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 1: longer I am sober, the less patience I have for

788
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:44,879
Speaker 1: being a twenty per hour woman. The stranger who tells

789
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 1: me to smile, the janitor who stares at my legs,

790
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,360
Speaker 1: the man on TV who wants to annex my uterus,

791
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:52,359
Speaker 1: even the other TV men who say abortion should be safe, legal,

792
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 1: and rare. What business is it of yours, whether it's

793
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,920
Speaker 1: very or not, I think, And then I start to

794
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 1: get angry at women too, not for being born wrong

795
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 1: or failing to dismantle a thousand years of patriarchy, on

796
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 1: my personal timetable. But for being so easily modified by

797
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 1: a bottle, for thinking that the right to get as

798
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,880
Speaker 1: trashed as a man means anything but the right to

799
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 1: be as useless. That is damn. Yeah, that stings. It's intense,

800
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 1: but I get it that I was a little called in.

801
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:22,879
Speaker 1: I was a little called in. It's it's easy to think,

802
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:27,479
Speaker 1: you know, with boozy brunches and cocktail hours and all

803
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:31,839
Speaker 1: of these material things that feel good that we as

804
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: women have thought to have, maybe they're fallen back on ye, Like,

805
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 1: maybe as good as those things feel, they don't really

806
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 1: mean that much. Yes, And it really makes me look

807
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 1: back on our Women in Whiskey episode with a different perspective,

808
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:49,919
Speaker 1: because instead of celebrating the renaissance of whiskey being led

809
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 1: by women, it's actually disarming us in some ways. And

810
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 1: so finding that balance for you personally is so important,

811
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 1: finding the balance between drinking in a way that makes

812
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 1: you feel delighted, if that is something that makes you

813
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 1: feel delighted, but not drinking as the default, because when

814
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,439
Speaker 1: it becomes mindless, it's someone else handing you the drink.

815
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 1: It's not you really pouring it for yourself. It's sort

816
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:20,879
Speaker 1: of society numbing you out instead of you deciding selectively

817
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 1: when you're going to choose that for yourself. And I

818
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,760
Speaker 1: think that kind of mindful awareness is a good thing

819
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 1: to focus on this month. So I'm with you, Bridget,

820
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 1: Let's give it a shot. And for our listeners who

821
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 1: might be toying with this idea, how are there a

822
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 1: couple of ways to dabble in dryuary. So, whether you're

823
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,439
Speaker 1: doing it tough fully and so really tap into your

824
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 1: rightful feminist rage, or you just want to save a

825
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,759
Speaker 1: few dollars by not spending them on beer or give

826
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 1: your liver break cups. Whichever, whichever reason you're doing it

827
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 1: more or or if you're not doing it or whatever,

828
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 1: totally cool. But if you are cutting back this month

829
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: or anytime, here are a few tips. We mentioned earlier

830
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 1: that drinking a soda water with the lime kind of

831
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 1: makes it click your drink gin and tonic if you

832
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:04,479
Speaker 1: find it helpful to avoid questions. Um. Something that I've

833
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 1: been kind of dabbling in is fancy mock tails. Um

834
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 1: they are really really high and sugar, but I kind

835
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 1: of think I go, like, maybe if I drink a

836
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 1: fancy fizzy fruity drink I can. You know it'll be

837
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 1: easier to exactly. I'm all about selecting advices. Another is

838
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 1: sort of remembering that there are other things that you

839
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: can do when you're trying to avoid drinking other than

840
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 1: hanging out in bars. You know, you can go to

841
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 1: a museum, you can go to a park, you can

842
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 1: go do a workout. Like you said, there are plenty

843
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,320
Speaker 1: of ways to have fun with friends that don't include drinking.

844
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 1: And most of all, don't worry if you slip up.

845
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 1: I am the queen of trying things and then being like,

846
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 1: I don't like this, I'm not going to do it.

847
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 1: Remember that that research shows that even if you just

848
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,320
Speaker 1: cut back on your drinking for one month, you still

849
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:50,280
Speaker 1: get positive benefits for six months, and you're less likely

850
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:53,359
Speaker 1: to binge drink for six months after that, even if

851
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:55,879
Speaker 1: you don't actually complete your drink January. Yeah. I think

852
00:46:55,880 --> 00:47:00,839
Speaker 1: it's really about flexing your mindfulness, muscles, and really developing

853
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:03,840
Speaker 1: the skills to refuse a drink, which in this world

854
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 1: is bizarrely hard and it shouldn't be. And this is

855
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 1: especially important if today's episode is making you call into

856
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 1: questioning your relationship with alcohol. To a much greater extent

857
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: than uh, just sort of over drinking on occasion. If

858
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:26,800
Speaker 1: the description of alcoholism or alcohol abuse that we described

859
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 1: earlier from the CDC sounds like you, and you are,

860
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:33,760
Speaker 1: in fact someone who needs support, do not be afraid

861
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 1: to talk to a professional. I can attest to the

862
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 1: life changing magic of therapy. I think we've discussed it

863
00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 1: on the show many times now. And I remember distinctly

864
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 1: finally confessing to someone when I was in that relationship

865
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,839
Speaker 1: who happened to be a trusted ally who loved both

866
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,240
Speaker 1: of us. She loved me and she loved my partner

867
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,760
Speaker 1: at the time, and that's what made me feel safe

868
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,080
Speaker 1: going to her. She was my primary care physician in

869
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 1: and I said to her on my annual physical when

870
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 1: she had a very powerful question at the bottom of

871
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 1: that form, saying, is there anything else you want to

872
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 1: talk to me about today? And I wrote alcoholism? And

873
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 1: I just broke down on the exam table. When she

874
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:16,799
Speaker 1: asked me what was this about. I remember saying to her,

875
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:20,399
Speaker 1: this is my loved ones problem. How do we get

876
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 1: him the help he needs? And she looked at me

877
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:26,759
Speaker 1: and said, yeah, let's talk about that, but first let's

878
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 1: get you the help you need. And I remember thinking,

879
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 1: I don't need help, but don't need therapy, it is

880
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 1: not my problem. And that one moment, that insistence that

881
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 1: she had in connecting me with a trusted therapist who,

882
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 1: by the way, helped me get sort of financial assistance

883
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:46,359
Speaker 1: to afford that life changing support, changed my life. It

884
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 1: caused me to start bossed up. I mean, everything rolled

885
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:53,359
Speaker 1: out for my life since that moment, and it all

886
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:57,440
Speaker 1: starts with being willing to have the very uncomfortable and

887
00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 1: vulnerable but powerful conversation with someone who who was in

888
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 1: a position to help. So seek out a medical professional

889
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 1: for God's sakes, even if it's not something you're sure

890
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 1: is a problem that you have to deal with. In

891
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,600
Speaker 1: my case, I was basically a codependent in a relationship

892
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 1: with an alcoholic and I didn't even know that word

893
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,319
Speaker 1: existed until I was in therapy. So it can be

894
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:22,640
Speaker 1: life changing to really take take the time to give

895
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: yourself that time of day and get the support you need.

896
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 1: One of the easiest ways you can make that first

897
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 1: step right now is by calling the Substance Abuse National

898
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 1: Helpline at one eight hundred six six two three five

899
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:39,919
Speaker 1: seven for free and confidential information and support. That's one

900
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 1: eight hundred six six two four three five seven, And

901
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 1: I hope you'll take that step today. If this does

902
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:48,280
Speaker 1: feel like something that's more than a New Year's resolution

903
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 1: for you, yeah, I don't want to conflate those two things.

904
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 1: You know, if you want to abstain from alcohol for

905
00:49:56,239 --> 00:50:00,360
Speaker 1: a month and you realize that this is like a

906
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 1: month off isn't going to cut it for you, definitely

907
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:06,279
Speaker 1: reach out and talk to someone. And I think that

908
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:08,839
Speaker 1: as we do this, you know, I'm working on being

909
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 1: a little more radically honest about how alcohol is showing

910
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,319
Speaker 1: up in my life and sope this is something that

911
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 1: you are also doing. Let's talk about it. We want

912
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:19,359
Speaker 1: to hear from you, so feel free to reach us

913
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 1: on Instagram at stuff mom Ever Told You, on Twitter

914
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 1: at mom Stuff Podcast, and send me an email at

915
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 1: mom Stuff at our stuff works dot com