1
00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,680
Speaker 1: Do you think I'm acting free and filling free? That's

2
00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:08,039
Speaker 1: what Kanye asked Van, or actually the entire newsroom of TMZ.

3
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:13,080
Speaker 1: Van's response, most notably, I actually don't think you're thinking anything.

4
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,720
Speaker 1: I think what you're doing right now is actually the

5
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:20,840
Speaker 1: absence of thought. He said, real world, real life consequences

6
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:25,400
Speaker 1: behind everything that you just said. What he said was

7
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:28,840
Speaker 1: that slavery was a choice. You all remember when Kanye

8
00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,960
Speaker 1: said slavery was a choice. Well, from that moment on

9
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:38,040
Speaker 1: My Friend guest on Today's Naked podcast, Van Lathan has

10
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,480
Speaker 1: been using his words to speak for those who can't

11
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:45,120
Speaker 1: necessarily speak for themselves, but more importantly give us a

12
00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:49,880
Speaker 1: different change, a different perspective, a different breath of fresh air,

13
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,000
Speaker 1: if you will, in a world of people who think

14
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:56,240
Speaker 1: they have something to say. On the podcast, Van Lathan

15
00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:13,760
Speaker 1: literally is naked. Every champion and carry champion is to

16
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,400
Speaker 1: be a champion out of champion and carry champion and

17
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,959
Speaker 1: carry champion. The champion and carry Champion and carry champion

18
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,520
Speaker 1: rates raiders and sports and entertainment can naked weirder in

19
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,320
Speaker 1: the world. With vulnerable considered, we come and remove the

20
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,479
Speaker 1: vail from entertainment. Elite it's a difference between what it's

21
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,040
Speaker 1: real and with the public seas. So here's your favorite

22
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:35,240
Speaker 1: celebrities behind the scenes. It's refreshing up. Then the whole

23
00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:38,319
Speaker 1: story specific life, all to rendevents to shape the person

24
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,800
Speaker 1: that you can't We got a champion and carry champion

25
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,800
Speaker 1: the girl. You did it. It's the greatest in sports

26
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,399
Speaker 1: and entertainment. Can naked with every champion and carry champions.

27
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,080
Speaker 1: To be a champion of Champion, they carry champion, the

28
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,960
Speaker 1: girl Chappy kount of Champion. They carry champion and carry champion. Raiders,

29
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,480
Speaker 1: freider and sports and entertainment and naked wi. Hey, everybody,

30
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,560
Speaker 1: welcome back to another edition of Naked Um. So here

31
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,800
Speaker 1: we go. We have lots to discuss. I went on

32
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,920
Speaker 1: a vacation. I'm gonna take two minutes and to tell

33
00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,200
Speaker 1: you what happened before we get to van. I went

34
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:10,520
Speaker 1: on a vacation, and you know I could, I could complain,

35
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,000
Speaker 1: So I'm complain for five minutes. But I learned a

36
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,440
Speaker 1: lot about myself. I decided to go to France. That's

37
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,079
Speaker 1: what I try to do every year when I can,

38
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:19,839
Speaker 1: I save up, I make it the best trip ever.

39
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:24,040
Speaker 1: I land in France. There is no luggage. My luggage

40
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,360
Speaker 1: somehow got lost in Amsterdam, and who knows what I'm

41
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,639
Speaker 1: gonna get it. They've located it. But if I can

42
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,880
Speaker 1: find it and get it to me before I leave France,

43
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:35,520
Speaker 1: question mark. I'm here for almost ten days, no clothes,

44
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:38,919
Speaker 1: no toothbrush, no no face wash, no underwear, no brawl.

45
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:44,800
Speaker 1: Knew nothing in France. So I want to feel a way.

46
00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:48,640
Speaker 1: But I'm like, effort, settle in. Maybe it'll come, maybe

47
00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,800
Speaker 1: it won't. I gotta go shopping and give me some basics.

48
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,800
Speaker 1: And I'm about to become a full minimalist. Of course,

49
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,280
Speaker 1: you know that's Americans travel with these big gas bags.

50
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,359
Speaker 1: I had a huge ask bag, like the size of children,

51
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,560
Speaker 1: Like I could to put two toddlers in this huge

52
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,080
Speaker 1: luggage that I had. So I decided to buy one

53
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,680
Speaker 1: of those European carry ons where you know you can

54
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,000
Speaker 1: put like a shoot in a sock. And I was like, cool,

55
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,680
Speaker 1: I'm using this the whole time. I'll move around Europe.

56
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,320
Speaker 1: I'll buy me some essentials and that's it. And I

57
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,560
Speaker 1: wanted to see if I could do it. And y'all

58
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,799
Speaker 1: guess what, Yes, I did it. And I was like, yo,

59
00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:27,160
Speaker 1: imagine what two things. Two things. Biggest takeaways for me.

60
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:31,640
Speaker 1: Your attitude changes everything in your life. My homegirl who

61
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,680
Speaker 1: was with me, I love her. She's hella negative though,

62
00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:36,600
Speaker 1: and she was like, Oh that sucks, it's awful, it's awful.

63
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,720
Speaker 1: Some other people we were with were like kind of

64
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,960
Speaker 1: complaining and belly aching for me, and I said, you, guys,

65
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:43,760
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear it. I said, I'm trying

66
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,680
Speaker 1: to stay positive. And if you all remind me how

67
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,440
Speaker 1: pissed you would be if that happened to you, It's

68
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,480
Speaker 1: not gonna make me feel better. I'm gonna tell you

69
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,520
Speaker 1: one thing about me, the older I get, I hate

70
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,200
Speaker 1: negative people. I hate negative energy. I do not want

71
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,160
Speaker 1: to be around it. I nipped that in the bud

72
00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,520
Speaker 1: right away, because no one has the time. My pet

73
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,920
Speaker 1: peeve is negative energy. If you want to piss me off,

74
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,120
Speaker 1: be stank around me for no damn reason. Excuse my friends.

75
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:08,760
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure they're gonna cut some of this out,

76
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,880
Speaker 1: cuss and cut Meanwhile, the day before I get ready

77
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,840
Speaker 1: to leave, they called me and say, we found your luggage.

78
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,000
Speaker 1: My luggage has arrived at one of my one of

79
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,359
Speaker 1: my little boutique Parisian hotels that I stay at with

80
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,680
Speaker 1: my blujee self and my Leggagy was waiting for me

81
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,080
Speaker 1: when I got there on Friday, just in time for

82
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:33,920
Speaker 1: me to come home on Saturday. Coco was like, praise,

83
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,240
Speaker 1: that's Coco barking. Guys, She's she's here. As I record

84
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,440
Speaker 1: that's my dog, She's like, good, thank you. Yeah. So

85
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,640
Speaker 1: my luggage was here here there Europe. I don't know

86
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,920
Speaker 1: where I am. I'm jet lagged right now, forgive me.

87
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,400
Speaker 1: But the lesson is it's really how you look at life.

88
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,719
Speaker 1: And with that, I welcome in our next guest band,

89
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:55,360
Speaker 1: Lethan you all remember him, I'm sure, most notably from TMZ.

90
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,680
Speaker 1: He was a black guy on TMZ who always had

91
00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,000
Speaker 1: great things to say different perspectives, but he made him

92
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,560
Speaker 1: self known earlier as I talked about in the pre

93
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,880
Speaker 1: role when he went at Kanye. Kanye was was saying

94
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,559
Speaker 1: slavery was a choice. He was having a Kanye moment,

95
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:12,919
Speaker 1: which he does often, and he challenged those in the

96
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,159
Speaker 1: newsroom of TMZ. If y'all don't think I'm a free thinker,

97
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,840
Speaker 1: tell me did it up? And then like I just read, no,

98
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,640
Speaker 1: I think what you're doing is actually the absence of thought.

99
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,120
Speaker 1: You're not a free thinker. You're not thinking by saying

100
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,360
Speaker 1: slavery was a choice. Their consequences to what you're saying.

101
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,120
Speaker 1: And and he let him have it. I'm gonna estimate

102
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,440
Speaker 1: a nice minute. But he didn't go off on him.

103
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,520
Speaker 1: He just was like, come on, man, be better, think better,

104
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,839
Speaker 1: think differently. There are people these are these are things

105
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:42,000
Speaker 1: that you're talking about that really have historical implications, and

106
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:47,320
Speaker 1: you're just talking freely. You're not thinking freely. I'm paraphrasing.

107
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:52,080
Speaker 1: But since then, I've watched his career grow in different ways. Right,

108
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,640
Speaker 1: he was no longer at t MC. I think you

109
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,159
Speaker 1: know they parted ways. That's that's an official way that

110
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,960
Speaker 1: I'm going to use it. And he got his own

111
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,640
Speaker 1: podcast and he has this this great podcast. But before

112
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,520
Speaker 1: that he had been working quietly and behind the scenes

113
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,240
Speaker 1: on other projects, plenty of projects that I'm sure many

114
00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:14,200
Speaker 1: of us didn't know about. But he won an Oscar Academy,

115
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:19,520
Speaker 1: would win a Van Lathan is on Naked Today. I

116
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,920
Speaker 1: mean that to me is amazing. A kid from Bratton Rouge,

117
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,680
Speaker 1: Louisiana who had dreams, all of these dreams that many

118
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,919
Speaker 1: of you have heard about you moved to a city,

119
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,599
Speaker 1: you want to see things come through, you want to

120
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,160
Speaker 1: do different things, and he was able to do it.

121
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,800
Speaker 1: Two Distant Strangers was amazing. It was a short that

122
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:38,800
Speaker 1: won an oscar Um had Joey badass and it it was.

123
00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:40,680
Speaker 1: It was amazing. It really was well done and I

124
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,680
Speaker 1: was happy to see that Van was a producer on

125
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,279
Speaker 1: it um and he gets into it on the podcast.

126
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,120
Speaker 1: We'll talk about it and he won an Academy award.

127
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,640
Speaker 1: That is something that the average person cannot say. We

128
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:55,120
Speaker 1: start off the podcast by talking about his book. He

129
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,719
Speaker 1: wrote a book, and I kind of said, just in passing,

130
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,479
Speaker 1: everybody's writing a book, but this book was different. That

131
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:06,799
Speaker 1: crazy entire Van Lathan is really talking about transformation and

132
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,440
Speaker 1: being caught up in something or a way of life

133
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:15,440
Speaker 1: that you're not necessarily familiar with as toxic or unhealthy,

134
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,560
Speaker 1: being caught up in a way of life that you're

135
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,240
Speaker 1: not so familiar with that is considered toxic or unhealthy.

136
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,600
Speaker 1: And we get into a lot of different things because

137
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,880
Speaker 1: we just don't talk about the books. That's what band does.

138
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:33,520
Speaker 1: But sit back, relax, enjoy it. It's pretty juicy. Chepian

139
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:38,480
Speaker 1: and car Chepian and Chepi. So I wanted to ask you,

140
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,040
Speaker 1: moving here from the South, what did you want to do?

141
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:45,400
Speaker 1: What was your What was your dream coming to l Ah.

142
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,680
Speaker 1: My dream was to write and produce stuff, to be

143
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:52,480
Speaker 1: a part of UM. My dream was to write, produce

144
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,160
Speaker 1: television and film, to be in the industry, to be

145
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,760
Speaker 1: in l A, and to be viable here. Um and

146
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:03,160
Speaker 1: So I came out here like pretty wide eyed, but

147
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:06,360
Speaker 1: also at a time in my life where I had

148
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,840
Speaker 1: sort of you know, if you're from a place and

149
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,800
Speaker 1: you've scouted all the angles, you've looked at all the corners,

150
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,920
Speaker 1: and you're like, I need something more. Um and La

151
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:20,720
Speaker 1: provided me with that. So yeah, okay, Wait, everyone comes

152
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,920
Speaker 1: here with a dream and and the fact that that

153
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,360
Speaker 1: they're able to do it is different. You've been able

154
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,280
Speaker 1: to do it in a major way. Oscar Winner if

155
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,040
Speaker 1: you will, My old ass dog is running around here

156
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,680
Speaker 1: looking at me like, yeah, Oscar Winner, if you will?

157
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,440
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, Like, let's just get our

158
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,160
Speaker 1: let's get our. Pat I'm sorry. Academy Award winning UM

159
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:44,040
Speaker 1: Journalists thought provoker Van Lathan on the podcast I'm sorry

160
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,560
Speaker 1: Get Together. If I'm gonna give you a title, disrespectful

161
00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:54,480
Speaker 1: and in every possible way. When did you get the job?

162
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,440
Speaker 1: If you don't mind, well let's go. Let's go back.

163
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,559
Speaker 1: Do you mind if we talk about who you are

164
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:06,319
Speaker 1: first before we get into okay we can Hey, you

165
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:11,520
Speaker 1: here for the ride. I'm right, I don't have any clothes.

166
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:18,920
Speaker 1: People look like what I'm saying, and so everyone knows it.

167
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,720
Speaker 1: You come to l A with this big dream and

168
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:26,080
Speaker 1: you've been able to accomplish it all. Uh and you

169
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,000
Speaker 1: are on a bit of a media tour with your book,

170
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,520
Speaker 1: and everyone has a book, I think like and just

171
00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:34,360
Speaker 1: the way we all have a podcast. Everyone doesn't have

172
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,960
Speaker 1: a book, but everyone has a book or they have

173
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:40,240
Speaker 1: something to say. You write a book with what in

174
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,840
Speaker 1: mind when you decide it's time for your book. I

175
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:48,200
Speaker 1: wrote a book, really, I wrote a book with eyes

176
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,560
Speaker 1: directly a bad rouge like everyone laughs and they talk

177
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,440
Speaker 1: about how much I've mentioned bad rouge. Um just growing

178
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:59,080
Speaker 1: growing up. When when I grew up there, I I

179
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,679
Speaker 1: just never saw my stuff. I never saw It's different. Now,

180
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,240
Speaker 1: you know, you got Boosey out there, you got Kevin

181
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,720
Speaker 1: Gates out there, you got uh in me a young

182
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,480
Speaker 1: boy out there. There's a presence there and especially in

183
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,520
Speaker 1: hip hop and uh in other walks of life, but

184
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:20,640
Speaker 1: I never saw myself um and it was there are

185
00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:24,040
Speaker 1: so many things there that are typical to the Black

186
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,400
Speaker 1: American experience, but there's so many things there that are

187
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,760
Speaker 1: a typical to it too, because the culture is so

188
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,720
Speaker 1: unique in South Louisiana. So when I wrote this book,

189
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:37,359
Speaker 1: like in writing the book, I wanted to explore who

190
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:42,560
Speaker 1: uh my community made me right um, with love and

191
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:46,120
Speaker 1: also with sort of a critical eye looking at some

192
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:49,079
Speaker 1: of the things that make us healthy and unhealthy. Um.

193
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:52,760
Speaker 1: And I wanted to talk, using my personal experience to

194
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,880
Speaker 1: all Americans about some of the things that make us

195
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,000
Speaker 1: healthy and some of the things that make us unhealthy.

196
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,520
Speaker 1: But it was very important do it through the perspective

197
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,679
Speaker 1: and the purview of where I grew up because I'm

198
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,520
Speaker 1: just so in love with Louisiana. The book uh And

199
00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:11,360
Speaker 1: by the way, when you explain it in great, great,

200
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:16,080
Speaker 1: great detail, fat crazy and Tired UM explains a lot, right.

201
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,840
Speaker 1: But if you're just looking at a fat crazy entire,

202
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:20,960
Speaker 1: what do you mean? But you go and you I

203
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,559
Speaker 1: mean not even painsteekingly talk about the food that you ate,

204
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,319
Speaker 1: how you grew up, what size meant to you, How

205
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,839
Speaker 1: you didn't know that you were overweight, like you had

206
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,840
Speaker 1: no idea, and then you and how you then started

207
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,720
Speaker 1: to to see other ideas of what this was supposed

208
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,200
Speaker 1: to look like. All of that to me, the way

209
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:42,800
Speaker 1: that you explain your your your weight, your journey with

210
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:47,479
Speaker 1: way your fight with staying in shape is very articulate

211
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:52,880
Speaker 1: and it's very um, not necessarily emotional, but introspective. And

212
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,800
Speaker 1: you never hear men talk about their weight journey like this,

213
00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:00,680
Speaker 1: where you at all uncomfortable sharing um, something that I

214
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:05,760
Speaker 1: think is just extremely personal. No um. I think for me,

215
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,880
Speaker 1: I have a different view of manhood. I think then

216
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:15,800
Speaker 1: then some men might. I think my view of manhood

217
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:19,120
Speaker 1: is really being as authentic as possible. Like I had

218
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,360
Speaker 1: a father in my life, and my father would be like,

219
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:27,160
Speaker 1: whenever you're hiding something, whenever you're not, Oh there were

220
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,880
Speaker 1: things he hid, don't get me wrong, he he he

221
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:34,760
Speaker 1: hears some stuff. But whenever you're putting off for someone,

222
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,319
Speaker 1: my dad would be like, Okay, well, if it's time

223
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,880
Speaker 1: to cry, cry, And then he'd be like, well, who

224
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,640
Speaker 1: aren't you crying for? Are you not crying for the money?

225
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,280
Speaker 1: That's around you, and he's like, all right, if you well,

226
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:50,719
Speaker 1: then you're there. You're trying to He would always tell me,

227
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:54,320
Speaker 1: the only standard in your life is me. But I decide,

228
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,120
Speaker 1: My father would say, I decide when you're a man.

229
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,120
Speaker 1: I decide when you're grown up. I decide when you're

230
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,120
Speaker 1: ready for these things. Understanding in your life is me.

231
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,320
Speaker 1: So vulnerability is not really that big of a thing

232
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:08,000
Speaker 1: to me, because uh, I was talking that there are

233
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,400
Speaker 1: very specific things that you have to do to be

234
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,400
Speaker 1: um an asset to your family and to your community,

235
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,679
Speaker 1: and if you do those things, you are a man.

236
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:21,600
Speaker 1: And so it doesn't matter how you present in the world.

237
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:26,920
Speaker 1: If you're responsible, dependable, reliable, and emotionally emotionally available and protective,

238
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,000
Speaker 1: you're a man. It doesn't matter how much you cry

239
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,520
Speaker 1: or how much you share with people. That's what makes

240
00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:33,920
Speaker 1: you a man. And I got that directly from him.

241
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,280
Speaker 1: Where does that come from? And is he writing a book?

242
00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:40,600
Speaker 1: I the vulnerability of black men is so rare, and

243
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,480
Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong, But it is so rare.

244
00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:46,559
Speaker 1: But not even is it. It's rare. That's why when

245
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,680
Speaker 1: I'm listening to your book, I'm like, he has the

246
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,120
Speaker 1: words to express what he's feeling. And I'm sure therapy

247
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,360
Speaker 1: has helped with that as well, But there's a difference

248
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,440
Speaker 1: between going that therapy, accepting it and learning, and then

249
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:01,120
Speaker 1: actually illustrating it in real life for other black men

250
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,199
Speaker 1: to see. Yeah. Well, I mean he's not writing the

251
00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:08,560
Speaker 1: book because he's dead. But I mean, like you know

252
00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:13,400
Speaker 1: what I mean, right, right, so that book's not coming

253
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:20,040
Speaker 1: any time. Uh. But but but what are you right

254
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:24,440
Speaker 1: from the grave, spiritually right from the grave? Ah? But no,

255
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,240
Speaker 1: I think and by the way, I'm not saying that

256
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,040
Speaker 1: all that my relationship with my father was. I write

257
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,000
Speaker 1: about it in the book. He still, in other ways

258
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,880
Speaker 1: was very traumatizing to me. He still had very old

259
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,360
Speaker 1: school beliefs on sex, he still had very old school

260
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,360
Speaker 1: beliefs on manhood. That didn't job with this. It's just

261
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:46,120
Speaker 1: that he I didn't believe in censoring who you were

262
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,040
Speaker 1: for anyone. And so I think vulnerability was a part

263
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,240
Speaker 1: that when I was a kid, I was prone to crime,

264
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,520
Speaker 1: but I was very emotional, I was very inquisitive. I

265
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:58,840
Speaker 1: would take on um, I would take on I take

266
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,800
Speaker 1: on all of these concepts or too big for me.

267
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:05,320
Speaker 1: I would think about, like nuclear war and uh insistentialism.

268
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,240
Speaker 1: I would go through all of this stuff right when

269
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,080
Speaker 1: I was when I was a kid, and at certain

270
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,080
Speaker 1: times my mind would just short circuit and I would

271
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,360
Speaker 1: just freak out, and my dad would just be like

272
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:18,160
Speaker 1: leave him alone, like let him like he never once

273
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,760
Speaker 1: made me feel bad for crying and worrying. He would

274
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,560
Speaker 1: say that I needed to do maybe a little bit

275
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,440
Speaker 1: less of it, but he'd be like, leave them, leave

276
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,960
Speaker 1: him alone, let him figure it out. I'd rather give

277
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,120
Speaker 1: it to us here to give it to somebody out

278
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,600
Speaker 1: in the street. So I think that vulnerability for vulnerability

279
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:36,400
Speaker 1: for me, I don't think it's I think I never

280
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,080
Speaker 1: looked at it. That's something that I had to be

281
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:42,480
Speaker 1: ashamed of, So I've never been ashamed of it. It's crazy, okay,

282
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,920
Speaker 1: but do you see what I'm talking about? No, no, no no,

283
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,880
Speaker 1: you're not crazy. But but the thing but yeah, no,

284
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,040
Speaker 1: of course it is. But I think also though, that

285
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,800
Speaker 1: that has to do with people when they feel like

286
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:57,000
Speaker 1: there's something to protect, like for like for me, I

287
00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:00,600
Speaker 1: never had to worry about whether or not there was somebody.

288
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,400
Speaker 1: I knew that if you with me there were repercussions

289
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,840
Speaker 1: for that. So if we're somewhere where I don't understand where,

290
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:10,080
Speaker 1: guard Deer Lane, Bato, Louisiana, the bottom of the South,

291
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,720
Speaker 1: all of these hoods that I grew up in. Right,

292
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,880
Speaker 1: I know my life is worth something, so I don't

293
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:17,840
Speaker 1: need to really act tough with you, because if you

294
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,800
Speaker 1: with me, there's a guy with a gun and he

295
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,320
Speaker 1: comes to get you. And you know that interest, right

296
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,160
Speaker 1: and so and so. Because of that, I only fight

297
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,040
Speaker 1: when i'm mad. So I don't fight to prove anything

298
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,560
Speaker 1: to you. I don't fight to prove to you I'm

299
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 1: not I don't fight to prove I'm not a bitch.

300
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,120
Speaker 1: I fight what I want to hurt you. And in

301
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:39,320
Speaker 1: that way, my childhood was actually a little liberating. That's

302
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:43,240
Speaker 1: fascinating because there are so many people that I know,

303
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:44,920
Speaker 1: especially growing up in l A. But like I know

304
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,640
Speaker 1: homeboy down the road, and he can do this, and

305
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,080
Speaker 1: you can do that, and I called my I can

306
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 1: make a phone call and the situation is different. But

307
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,040
Speaker 1: they still have a hard time being vulnerable and expressing themselves.

308
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,640
Speaker 1: Those are two separate things. Yes you have safety, Yes

309
00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:00,120
Speaker 1: you have protection, but it's still is how do you

310
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,040
Speaker 1: like for your father to let you be emotional if

311
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 1: you will, whatever that is, right, whatever that means in

312
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:10,680
Speaker 1: a negative or positive connotation to me is liberating to me.

313
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:15,280
Speaker 1: That but also like it was, it was this thing

314
00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:18,680
Speaker 1: to where I remember I was on the basketball quote

315
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,320
Speaker 1: one time and it was some of the older guys

316
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:25,320
Speaker 1: in the neighborhood were there, and We're across the gardener

317
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,879
Speaker 1: on the other side, and I'm playing ball and I

318
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,720
Speaker 1: didn't know the kids I was playing ball with. I

319
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,960
Speaker 1: was a big kid, right, and so being a big kid,

320
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,840
Speaker 1: not just big, but tall because I played sports, so

321
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,760
Speaker 1: my weight with fluxtual way, but I was tall, right,

322
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,760
Speaker 1: So if you're tall, they play you like shock. I'm

323
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:45,400
Speaker 1: six four, so yeah, so if if if if you're

324
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,640
Speaker 1: like if you're tall, and they play you like shock,

325
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,879
Speaker 1: they beat you up, they do all of this stuff.

326
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:53,479
Speaker 1: At one point, I start to get mad. I remember

327
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,800
Speaker 1: one of the old heads out there saying, if he

328
00:17:55,840 --> 00:18:00,920
Speaker 1: starts crying, yeah, I'll be ready to fight. Because everyone knew,

329
00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:03,640
Speaker 1: like they would call me crying baby. Everyone knew that

330
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,440
Speaker 1: my emotion will come out on my face. And now

331
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,159
Speaker 1: we got another you know, And it's just like I

332
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 1: think my dad there was a respect. Now he never

333
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,280
Speaker 1: treated me like his equal. There were all kinds of

334
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,040
Speaker 1: things that were that was. It was tough to be

335
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,800
Speaker 1: around him, right. He when I grew taller in him,

336
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,600
Speaker 1: he would make me sit down before he was talking

337
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 1: to him, you know, like sit on the ground, like

338
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,639
Speaker 1: he like sit on the ground while I'm talking. He

339
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,000
Speaker 1: didn't want me to little over him and stuff. But

340
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,879
Speaker 1: so there are all kinds of things like in in

341
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 1: that I had to take from him. Don't get me wrong,

342
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:37,120
Speaker 1: but I just never had to worry. I'm never, at

343
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:41,040
Speaker 1: one time in my life can remember feeling something and

344
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:43,880
Speaker 1: not feeling like I couldn't express it. And I think

345
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,360
Speaker 1: I think there was The neighborhood wasn't afraid of my dad,

346
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:50,080
Speaker 1: but they respected him, you know what I mean. He

347
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 1: would come home with it with deer on his back,

348
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,720
Speaker 1: like they were enamored with him, Like he had this

349
00:18:55,760 --> 00:19:00,159
Speaker 1: sting about him. Right, cowboy had gun and come home him.

350
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,800
Speaker 1: You see him with deer and a bunch of dogs,

351
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,400
Speaker 1: and he'd have like a something that he skinned on him.

352
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,680
Speaker 1: He was just a different a real like a real

353
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,800
Speaker 1: one like you like also walk down the street with

354
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:14,000
Speaker 1: deers on their back, by the way, like they were

355
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,200
Speaker 1: they didn't fear him. You think I think they would

356
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,879
Speaker 1: if he got deer on his back? What do you

357
00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 1: I just think I just think that I think that

358
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,560
Speaker 1: like it was, there was this thing that he projected

359
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 1: and I'm sure I was job never really had this,

360
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 1: But what I did have was just like a like

361
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,600
Speaker 1: a knowledge of self and I always just had this thing.

362
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:34,480
Speaker 1: Now I was like, you know, if I didn't show

363
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,960
Speaker 1: me and like we one person and from my neighborhood,

364
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,800
Speaker 1: that was a crazy fight, literally not one. So all

365
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,399
Speaker 1: of that stuff was was was was was like was

366
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 1: besides the point, um, I do know people who put

367
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 1: on the airs a little bit acted a little bit harder,

368
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 1: But it was always came from an insecurity to me,

369
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:54,720
Speaker 1: and I never really had first and foremost, the vision

370
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 1: of your father with deer on his back with dogs

371
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 1: is a beautiful thing to me because you know, I

372
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 1: grew up he here. I could never even imagine if

373
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,760
Speaker 1: we saw that here in l A. Could you imagine

374
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 1: going down intour we see a guy with a deer

375
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,159
Speaker 1: in his back. We're calling the cops, right, We're like,

376
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,160
Speaker 1: what's going on? This is all? This is all out

377
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,040
Speaker 1: Because of the world we live in, so to say

378
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,840
Speaker 1: that he was a different man is probably in our

379
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,040
Speaker 1: in our lifetime. For me anyways, growing up here in

380
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 1: l A is um an understatement. But I read this

381
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,640
Speaker 1: book and I have just a new profound or I

382
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 1: listened because I'm gonna be clear, I wasn't reading. I

383
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 1: had do audible, but I listened to the book. So

384
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 1: when you think of this book, what is the biggest takeaway?

385
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,640
Speaker 1: Because I want to tell you how it's been affecting

386
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 1: a friend of mine who's a huge fan of yours.

387
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 1: What's the biggest takeaway? You wrote this for what reason?

388
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:46,160
Speaker 1: To help? Who? Do? What? Um? You know? As insufficient

389
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,439
Speaker 1: answer as this is, uh, I wrote this book to

390
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 1: exercise some of my own demons. I hope that by

391
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,879
Speaker 1: cashing a wide net and talking about some of the

392
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 1: things that that we go through, that will help someone.

393
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 1: If I had to pinpoint one thing, I just want

394
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 1: people to know it's not their fault that society. UM is.

395
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 1: A society is this big deal that we've all come

396
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,399
Speaker 1: together and make right. We've all come together to make

397
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,159
Speaker 1: this big deal. That's all it really is. It's like this,

398
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 1: you know, there's serious, very small little trees that we

399
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:19,199
Speaker 1: all take party and to live with each other. But

400
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 1: so many of the deals that were made, you didn't

401
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 1: have a chance, You didn't have a hand in making.

402
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,919
Speaker 1: So many of the trees that were signed, they were

403
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,920
Speaker 1: signed before you were born. But you're still held to him,

404
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 1: and you're you're raised to be really beholden to a

405
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 1: lot of deals that you didn't make. So really being

406
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: an adult is about figuring out which ones of those

407
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,399
Speaker 1: to make stronger and which ones of them to burn up.

408
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:46,200
Speaker 1: And like a lot of times you don't find out

409
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,119
Speaker 1: what you wanted to it's too late, you know, And

410
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 1: and a lot of times you just continue to blame

411
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 1: yourself for things that aren't your fault. So I think

412
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 1: for me, like I would look around at different points

413
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 1: in my childhood, different especially in college where after college

414
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 1: I was really lonely and really wayward, and go like

415
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,120
Speaker 1: why is this mean? Why is this happening to me?

416
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,640
Speaker 1: Why do I have the anxiety? Why am I four

417
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 1: hundred pounds or three seventy or whatever it is? Like?

418
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,560
Speaker 1: Why why me? I look around and see so many

419
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 1: people are having fun with their lives and stuff, um,

420
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,880
Speaker 1: and the moment I stopped thinking that there was something

421
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:23,960
Speaker 1: cosmically wrong with me. My life started to change the

422
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 1: moment I started to realize that some things were the

423
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 1: way they were because of things outside of me, the

424
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 1: moment I put my faith in my life into inspiration.

425
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 1: And that's something that's that was larger than just like

426
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 1: loathing myself my life starting. So, if there was one

427
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 1: thing I would want people to to uh to take

428
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: from the book is be general with yourself and plant

429
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 1: seeds and don't burn down as much as you think

430
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 1: you need to. You know, it's more specifically with you.

431
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 1: What is it that you want to burn up? What

432
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 1: is the what is what have you had to say?

433
00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:08,160
Speaker 1: That's just not my fault? Cyclical generational dysfunction. Um. There

434
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 1: is this thing like my family is full of some

435
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:13,919
Speaker 1: of the my community is full of some of the

436
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: most talented, the most beautiful, the most amazing people ever

437
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 1: and just nothing happens for them. Mhm, they live, they die.

438
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 1: I take my parents for example. My mother is is

439
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:33,159
Speaker 1: one of the wisest, most giving women ever. Right, I

440
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: just had COVID, just got over COVID better now tested

441
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 1: negative find um. But thanks, yes, But I didn't tell

442
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 1: my mother that I had COVID. R she she I

443
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,679
Speaker 1: didn't tell her. I didn't tell my mother I had COVID,

444
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 1: but she couldn't and she can't handle that. That's not

445
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,120
Speaker 1: going to be a thing. See what happens is uh,

446
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 1: is that I'm gonna have COVID, then I'm gonna get better. Right.

447
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:03,360
Speaker 1: But my mom's she loves so hard and worried so

448
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 1: much that the that the disease would be way worse

449
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: for her than it would be for me emotionally. And

450
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 1: I have to know not to give her that burden,

451
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 1: even though I might want to say, Hey, Mom, what

452
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 1: kind of chicken soup should I to? What should I

453
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 1: be doing? What should I even I don't want to

454
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: have that conversation. I know that I can't right um.

455
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: But it brings me back to what I was saying

456
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 1: about my family. My parents around the age that I

457
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 1: am did something that I couldn't even realize how spectacular

458
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 1: it was at the time. We grew up in a

459
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 1: specific part of bad Rouge, but my dad was from Marryingwood,

460
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: which is about thirty miles outside of bad Rouge going west.

461
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 1: I don't know if you ever been a bad Rouge

462
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 1: before here I have, I have, Okay, so if you go,

463
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,359
Speaker 1: I note my mother was engaged to your man who

464
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 1: lived in bad Rouge. And I remember we went out

465
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 1: there when I was like eight years old, so I

466
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 1: don't remember much, but yes, that was back in the day.

467
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 1: Going might have been my dad. You never know, he

468
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 1: had some things going on that we didn't even know.

469
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 1: Um but but but uh but no. So you go

470
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 1: over the bridge, you go thirty minutes west Mary. So

471
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 1: he lived the country lifestyle and obviously were from a

472
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 1: place like br We're only one generation moved from people

473
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 1: literally coming from country areas around right. So it was

474
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: always in my parents goal and their life goals to

475
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,880
Speaker 1: get back to a place to where we had some land.

476
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 1: We did that. We built this big, big house alban

477
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:36,399
Speaker 1: Zachary on about thirty five acres um. We had a barn,

478
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 1: we had a pond, We had four horses, thirteen dogs,

479
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 1: uh and three wheeler. All of this stuff feels great.

480
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 1: They built the life that they wanted. It lasted for

481
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:54,119
Speaker 1: about three years. I'd say we got out there was

482
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 1: five years we got out there ninety eight. By two

483
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 1: thousand two they were divorced. She had moved back in

484
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 1: with her other um and the hurricane came a little

485
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:07,120
Speaker 1: bit longer, a little bit after that put something through

486
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,160
Speaker 1: the home. After that, Dad couldn't afford to keep it

487
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 1: before closed on the house. You go there, now, it

488
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 1: looks completely different, right. That very thing right there is

489
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 1: my life's goal to stop. My life's goal is to

490
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:22,359
Speaker 1: build something lasting that generations can build on. When my

491
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 1: father died last year, he died by himself. Some woman

492
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 1: that I've never met before is the woman that took

493
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,399
Speaker 1: my father to the hospital. Um, and I got a

494
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 1: dam on Instagram and said, Hey, you don't know me,

495
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 1: but I'm your dad's girlfriend. I just dropped the buff

496
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 1: at the hospital. You might want to kind of figure

497
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 1: out what's going on with it. I'm not blaming her,

498
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 1: but what I'm saying is the fact that, and so

499
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 1: many places where I come from, families can't grow generationally

500
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 1: over time. There's nothing to show for these loves and

501
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 1: these people that work their asses off right because the

502
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 1: demons in the trauma that affect them, uh, just seemed

503
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 1: to destroy and disintegrate everything. My life's goal is to

504
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 1: stop that. My life's goal is to build something that

505
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:12,880
Speaker 1: the people around me can pick off of and see

506
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 1: that admits something because to me, family is more than

507
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: a name, it's more than a reputation. It's what this

508
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 1: group of black people have been able over the generations

509
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 1: to come together and create. And because of alcoholism, because

510
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: of incarceration, because of drug abuse, because of the philandering,

511
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 1: because of all of those things, we just haven't been

512
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: able to do it there. So I would like to

513
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,879
Speaker 1: change that. I salute you for that because that's a beautiful,

514
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 1: such a self aware assessment. Um And I don't want

515
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 1: to get into the verses, but I but I, but

516
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 1: I often do that because I often feel that there

517
00:27:57,119 --> 00:28:00,920
Speaker 1: is a lack of very bold and loud love from

518
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: black men about what it should look like, about what

519
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 1: they should be committed to. Now. Now, with that being said,

520
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: every time I mentioned that to a black man who's

521
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 1: doing what he's doing, he's like, no, because this this,

522
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: and women are this, Like there was always this argument

523
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,639
Speaker 1: over Kevin Samuel's and I feel like there's an all

524
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,200
Speaker 1: out of salt on black love. I feel like black

525
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: men and women are so at at odds currently, and

526
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,439
Speaker 1: if you're if you're in a relationship, you may not

527
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 1: see it, but I feel like we're so at odds,

528
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 1: and there's always but what about when y'all and what

529
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 1: about when y'all from both sides right? And there's just

530
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 1: so much trauma, as you talked about the cyclical trauma

531
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 1: that we have, this generational trauma that we haven't decided

532
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 1: to even understand or unpack why we think and feel

533
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: that way. So I a salute you for being like

534
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: on the front lines to discuss it, because in my opinion,

535
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: it's rare, and I don't see it a lot. I

536
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 1: see it. I see it was shar I see it

537
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: with our French are I see with But I don't

538
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 1: see a lot of it. And I don't see a

539
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 1: lot of Black men standing up for us and having

540
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 1: our backs as both todly as as as I think

541
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: we should see, because you know, there's there's a continuent

542
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: of Black women who feel like we always are doing that. Now,

543
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 1: what is your take on that? Because black women feel

544
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 1: like we're always taking care of you all, We always

545
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 1: on the front lines, we always march, and we're always

546
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 1: trying to in generational curses to be told that we're

547
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 1: not good enough or we are too demands were too. Yeah,

548
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: So this is why I look at that um number one,

549
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 1: It's interesting what an experiment like America will do to him. Right,

550
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 1: we should be treating each other with more grace, but

551
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 1: we treat each other with less grace because what we were,

552
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 1: what we realized, what America has really hammered home the

553
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: black people is they don't take, you know, they don't

554
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 1: take from everybody else a little bit of shoot because

555
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: they know a little bit of ship that they'll take

556
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 1: you know, you know who else don't take you because

557
00:29:56,160 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 1: don't take you all right? Um, So we don't. We

558
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 1: don't write and don't I think that we don't in

559
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: an all out conversation between black women and black men.

560
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 1: Black men are gonna make some points and black women

561
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 1: are gonna make some points, and on each side they're

562
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,719
Speaker 1: gonna be some valid points. The question is what is

563
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 1: the point. It's not whether or not you have a

564
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 1: point about what you think, whether I have a point.

565
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 1: What is the point? Is they were in this conversation

566
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 1: so we can understand how to love each other better,

567
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: or we're having this conversation so that I can prove

568
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 1: I'm better than you and you can prove that you're

569
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: better than me. If you ask me personally I think

570
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 1: there's a depth of black man all the black women,

571
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 1: just because the reality is a lot of the households

572
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: that I've seen growing up, besides my own, didn't have

573
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 1: fathers that were right there every single day I was

574
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 1: in those households. I don't know how it worked. All

575
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 1: I know is that I knew a lot of guys

576
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,479
Speaker 1: that didn't see their dads all the time, right, And

577
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 1: so you certainly can't come back, and this is just

578
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: common sense, right, if you see a lot of mothers

579
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: doing all of this stuff by themselves, right, you certainly

580
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 1: can't come back and render too much judgment on the

581
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 1: way that they live their lives, right, or some of

582
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 1: the things that might be going on with them, because

583
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 1: you know, there's a there's an if we're talking about

584
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: community in the hole that we wanted to be, there's

585
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 1: a debt that would be paid, and the debt that

586
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 1: has to be out. Having said that, all this social

587
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 1: media stuff is changing our perceptions about what's valuable, and

588
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,239
Speaker 1: everybody has to be responsible for what it is if

589
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 1: they think is valuable, right, Like men have to be

590
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 1: responsible for being able to go out and cure the

591
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: type of woman that they think that they want right

592
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 1: and women are the same and vice versa. But my

593
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 1: point by saying all of this is, do you love

594
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 1: your sisters? Do you love your brothers? If you have that,

595
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: if you have the If you want to see black

596
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: women uh protected, exalted and value, you'll find a way.

597
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 1: If you want to see black men protected and value,

598
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 1: you'll find a way. Hey, everybody, you know what time

599
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 1: it is. You gotta pay some bills. If you want

600
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 1: to fast forward through that part, I totally get it,

601
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 1: but I need you to stick around back in a

602
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: moment with more than on naked. Every champion and carry

603
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 1: Chappion is to be a champion, a champion and carry

604
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 1: Chappion and carry Chappian. A champion and carry Chappion and

605
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 1: carry CHAPPIONID sports and the tame make and make it work.

606
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 1: Every Chappion and carry Chappion is to be a champion,

607
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: a champion. They carry Chappi and the Chappi and they

608
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 1: carry Chappion and carry Chappion sports and the the same can

609
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: make it work. Welcome back. If you listen to the commercials,

610
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 1: you're a sainting. You really love me, No, seriously, you

611
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 1: really do. Van Lathan, Oh dake it. We gotta go

612
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: to the genesis. The reality is is you're right. Sometimes

613
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 1: they're arguing to figure out who's right or who's wrong,

614
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, it's the actual

615
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 1: education of understanding what it looks like to value. And

616
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 1: if it's not mirrored, if it's not understood, if you

617
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: don't see the vision of it, it's hard for you

618
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: to illustrate it or replicate it in every in every

619
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: possible way. To your original point, black women have to

620
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 1: be in the breadwinners if you are in the home.

621
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that with the like a badge

622
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 1: of honor. I don't I don't want to do that.

623
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to be the only one in here hustling.

624
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 1: But there is something, and I know, I know society

625
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 1: plays into this as well, but there is something, which

626
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 1: is why I say to you, I I find myself

627
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 1: saying to you, I'm grateful for your honesty and you

628
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 1: being able to express yourself, and you're using your platform

629
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 1: to highlight things. And I don't always agree with what

630
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 1: you say. That is that's neither here nor there. But

631
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 1: the overall messaging, the overall messaging is like I see

632
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 1: a black man really doing the work, and that is

633
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 1: such a beautiful, encouraging thing to me. We need to

634
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 1: stick together, we need to have each other's back. That's

635
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: all it is that at the end of the day,

636
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: and I don't see that that's what makes me sad.

637
00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 1: But that's what I say that I love about you.

638
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: Why don't you see that though, because because I see

639
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 1: it a lot. Tell me where you where you like,

640
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 1: where are you? Where you? Where are you looking? Well?

641
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 1: I see it in because because because I'm going now

642
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 1: you go, yeah, so I'm so, this is what I'm saying.

643
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 1: So like a lot of the things that we're talking about,

644
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 1: they're real, but sometimes they can be overstated. Like I know, so, look,

645
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 1: the absent black father is a thing, but not like

646
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 1: they say, you know what I mean. They're not like

647
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 1: they're the white man. They're the white people Fox News

648
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 1: and white people. Yeah, not like they say, you know

649
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 1: what I mean. It's not like they say, some of

650
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,799
Speaker 1: these things are unconvidual. Some of these things different for me.

651
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 1: I look around that I look at my homies who

652
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 1: were in the world. You won't find a worst group.

653
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 1: I'm I agree, But you don't think that I agree

654
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,879
Speaker 1: because I know some of your friends. I agree. So

655
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is is of the feather truly flocked together.

656
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 1: If if if I hear, this is what I hear,

657
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,760
Speaker 1: Here's what I'm hearing when I'm out in the streets

658
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 1: that we do these interviews, that we talk to different people,

659
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,279
Speaker 1: and if I have a conversation off the record with

660
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:14,720
Speaker 1: a black man of note with success, with with value

661
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: with the platform like you do and I and like

662
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: I said, I'm not including you or the homies in it,

663
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:23,359
Speaker 1: but I always this is what I always hear. Well,

664
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 1: black women always want something. They always shooting a shot,

665
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: and they always expect this and they really look at

666
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 1: them they should look at themselves because you know they

667
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,720
Speaker 1: don't do and it's usually down to vanity. It's what

668
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 1: was the aesthetic is like she's not in shape, she

669
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 1: don't work out, but she want a man that's you know,

670
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,760
Speaker 1: makes six figures or just stupid. To me, that doesn't

671
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 1: even matter, but matters to you all, because aesthetics are

672
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 1: very important. And I believe with and this is not

673
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 1: a blanket statement, but black men just jumped right over

674
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 1: what the purpose of that was. Though, Boy, go ahead

675
00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: tell me, what did I jump over aesthetics? It? So

676
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:07,320
Speaker 1: there's a guy that's feeling used because he mentioned money.

677
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: Well that's this is great. Let's get into this because

678
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 1: let's talk about the money into the aesthetic. Go ahead, Well,

679
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,760
Speaker 1: let's let's talk about it. So there's a guy that's saying, like,

680
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 1: there's a guy that's saying he didn't just say, oh,

681
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 1: he said black women want a man that makes this

682
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: much money, but they're not willing to do this. Well,

683
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 1: I mean that's nothing but facts, right, I mean I'm

684
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 1: being real with you, Like, what is that? What is that? Wait?

685
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 1: Wait a second, Wait a second, wait a second. Heres

686
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 1: the deal, here's the deal. Here's the deal. If if

687
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 1: you if you're out in the world and you're being

688
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 1: open to the universe, right to the love speaking, and

689
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,800
Speaker 1: you're being open to the universe and and love comes

690
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 1: to you, that's fine. But if you go out there

691
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,760
Speaker 1: and you put a bunch of standards, not standards standards,

692
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 1: or if you put a bunch of qualified king requirements,

693
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: then it is completely natural that there should be requirements

694
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 1: coming in the other way. Oh, absolutely right, I absolutely

695
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 1: say something. Can I say something? And it works both ways? Right?

696
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 1: So I'll start with the women like all I hear

697
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 1: consistent like black women if I tell you, and maybe

698
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 1: it's the world that I live in and work in.

699
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: If I hear black women don't work out, and and

700
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 1: and look at you, you're giggling because you know that's

701
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:33,240
Speaker 1: what it's being somebody. Yeah, even that I don't see

702
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 1: that I live in lost every word hasn't been talking

703
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: to you before? Has this argument been said to be

704
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 1: like I like her, but she needs to get in shape.

705
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 1: If I hear something about a black woman doesn't work out,

706
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 1: or I like her all natural, or I like and

707
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,839
Speaker 1: I'm not even by the way, this isn't coming from

708
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 1: a woman that is unattractive and not in shape. I'm

709
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 1: not referring to. But I what I hear this. When

710
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 1: I hear this, i'mone like, look at you, you gotta

711
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 1: you gotta belly, your head not shape? Why you you

712
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:05,840
Speaker 1: can see a year man meet a background me the

713
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 1: way her left toe moves. It's just I don't know.

714
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: That's just a yeah, that's that's that is like I

715
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 1: that's a funny thing about man. It's a funny thing

716
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 1: about man. Is the That's just a funny thing about manny,

717
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,239
Speaker 1: it's annoying. Go ahead and tell me, tell me why

718
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,399
Speaker 1: is a funny thing about a funny thing about men?

719
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 1: Is so like listen to man like critique halle Berry,

720
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: and I don't really put it like that. I'm like, Hey,

721
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, is she like like, yeah, my famement? But

722
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 1: but but I was but but I but I said

723
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: this though in l A though I remember it's like

724
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 1: if you're going to a club and a guy can't

725
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 1: buy bottles, if you don't drive certain cars, these men

726
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: feel like their screw eyes in a very specific way too.

727
00:38:57,239 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 1: And then on Instagram and all of this stuff, it's different.

728
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 1: All these guys that you know, Carrie, you wanna be

729
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 1: honest with you, they're rich. So wait, I love this conversation. Listen,

730
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 1: all the women I also know have changed as well. Right,

731
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 1: So if they said but no, I'm gonna say this,

732
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 1: I present a bad woman a whole package. A guy

733
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,920
Speaker 1: is not worried a black man with money. And I'm

734
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 1: not gonna say all black man, but black man of

735
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: a certain means who have because there's so because because

736
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,839
Speaker 1: when you guys get to this level, there's so few

737
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 1: of you. You know it, you know it, and you

738
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 1: walk like it, and you carry it, and you weaponize

739
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 1: it in a lot of in a lot of instances,

740
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: not most, but in a lot of instances. And when

741
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 1: I say, oh, I got a friend, she's bad. She

742
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:53,800
Speaker 1: whole package, she had money, she works out, she's this,

743
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 1: she's that. It's just not my type because she doesn't

744
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,280
Speaker 1: look like what they think they should be with, because

745
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: they got a little to change. Like, that's just crazy

746
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 1: to me. We are far more women, are farmers smarter

747
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 1: in the way they choose their mate. Y'all all right here? Right?

748
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 1: She could be dumb as do you do you and

749
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:16,879
Speaker 1: you don't even care? I don't wait, wait, wait, wait,

750
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,240
Speaker 1: I don't think that's true at all. I think women

751
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 1: get the picture first. Like let's take it like like

752
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 1: like Sierra, right, okay, let's take Sussell. Okay, lets they

753
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 1: got a perfectly they got a perfect little marriage. Right,

754
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 1: Russell is the Russell is the picture perfect husband? Right

755
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 1: for what we know, pis your perfect husband. Manage how

756
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 1: many stops at boy mansie make? She made a time?

757
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 1: So don't tell me we're better. Don't don't say women

758
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 1: are better at choosing mats that like I'm telling you

759
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 1: right now, I don't know. I don't let me tell

760
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,839
Speaker 1: you something. Let me tell you. I'm saying what you're seeing. Yeah,

761
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:03,840
Speaker 1: she did make she was saying a bunch of poicts.

762
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 1: You're right, but what you're also seeing is women who

763
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 1: we naturally feel like we can help you, and we

764
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 1: want to help change you, and we want to help

765
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 1: grow you. It's not so much about what you're not

766
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 1: at that moment, it's what we can see. And I'm

767
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:21,320
Speaker 1: sure she thought when she was first with oh boy future,

768
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 1: for instance, She's not to have a baby with him.

769
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,279
Speaker 1: This is it, this is it. I can see who

770
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,239
Speaker 1: he's gonna be. I'm gonna grow with him. They break up,

771
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 1: and how does he how many children? How many children

772
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 1: the future have at this point? Listen, she saw that

773
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 1: he loves so not right, No, you're absolutely What I'm

774
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: saying is what I'm saying is the future they need

775
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 1: love to I'm not taking anything away Like I know

776
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 1: a lot of guys who have been future as, I'm

777
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,240
Speaker 1: not taking anything away from future. I don't have any problem.

778
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 1: I don't like certain that's fine. What I'm saying is

779
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:57,360
Speaker 1: this what I'm saying. What I'm saying is this. I

780
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 1: don't think either side is great at choosing mate, because

781
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:04,439
Speaker 1: you don't choose a mate. A mate chooses you as

782
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,319
Speaker 1: long as like as as as as long as you

783
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 1: are open, are open like it happens all the time.

784
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 1: It happens all the time. Yeah. Yes, But then you're

785
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:25,720
Speaker 1: talking about an elevated sense of consciousness that just doesn't

786
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 1: exist in a community where men have been talked to

787
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 1: hold their feelings back and not express themselves. You were

788
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 1: talking about being open to love and it will come

789
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: and find you. So you're saying you're operating like people

790
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,759
Speaker 1: are operating like that in our culture, and that as

791
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 1: the collective. I just don't think that that's true on

792
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:47,839
Speaker 1: both sides. I think that they're saying that they're not,

793
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 1: but they're going back home and somebody is getting them right.

794
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 1: I think that they're I think one thing that women

795
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 1: don't if I was to say there was one thing

796
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 1: that women don't understand, is that men we are. I'm

797
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 1: with these guys. I know how they act, I know

798
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:11,319
Speaker 1: what the deal is, I know why they act out,

799
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 1: I know why they do certain things. They talk a

800
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 1: lot of ship, but what they want is to be loved.

801
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: No man that I know is with the baddest woman

802
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: that they've ever been with. Interesting, I am but no

803
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: man but but like but but but but but but

804
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 1: but no man that I know is with the baddest

805
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:38,839
Speaker 1: woman they've ever been with. There now there like not

806
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,320
Speaker 1: that not that I know. Now. Look, I'm also I

807
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 1: don't hang out with these rappers, and I don't be

808
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: in these difference that you like whatever, none of that

809
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,960
Speaker 1: like like people exist on certain wavelengths. I think a

810
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 1: lot of this Twitter conversation, all of this back and forth.

811
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 1: I think it's for people's entertainment. And I'll be honest

812
00:43:56,480 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 1: with you, I think that our parents and grandparents probably

813
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,760
Speaker 1: we had these same types of conversations. You should marry,

814
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 1: You should marry Mr Johnny. He owns his own story,

815
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 1: don't mary that I think. I think this has always

816
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 1: been a thing. No, but options have changed. Here's the thing.

817
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 1: I read this New York Times article the other day.

818
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 1: Your girl has sent it to me, probably three months ago.

819
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 1: Not that it means anything, but it gave me a

820
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:24,320
Speaker 1: very interesting perspective. Women don't have to although they wanted.

821
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 1: God made it, made it so that men and women

822
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 1: should be together and procreate, right, that's just our natural

823
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,800
Speaker 1: instinct and that's what we should have. But the day

824
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 1: of settling and being with somebody, even if they're a

825
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,399
Speaker 1: jerk and aren't doing well and he's the only person

826
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 1: that can work in the family, those days are over.

827
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 1: My grandmother or my great grandmother never had an option.

828
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: She had to marry Johnny's a little boy because she

829
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 1: she I'm she had to marry Johnny's a little boy

830
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 1: because she had no choice, because she had to do

831
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 1: what she had to do, because she couldn't make ends

832
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,760
Speaker 1: meet for herself or by herself to support a family.

833
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 1: So a lot of women married men out of obligation.

834
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 1: You know that we've been We have come so far

835
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,759
Speaker 1: from that moment now and now that women are I

836
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: got my own and I don't need it. I don't

837
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:16,880
Speaker 1: need and I got my own. It really is hard

838
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:20,359
Speaker 1: for the two to meet, especially in our culture. I think.

839
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 1: So you're talking about a group of men that you're around,

840
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:24,360
Speaker 1: I just feel like you guys are a special sect,

841
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:26,280
Speaker 1: and you're right. At the end of the day, everybody

842
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 1: wants to be loved, but you're a special sect. I

843
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 1: think you Let me tell you about because I think choices.

844
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 1: I think choice is about a matrix, right, I think

845
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 1: choice is about the choice matrix, right, Like you like

846
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: choices about Okay, So like growing up where I grew up, right,

847
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 1: it was like, oh God, don't deal drugs, right, it's easy,

848
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,799
Speaker 1: don't deal drugs? Right? Well, what if dealing drugs is

849
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 1: on the table? Right, if dealing drugs is on the table,

850
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 1: if that's like a viable thing to do, it's actually

851
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 1: not so easy not to do it because it's actually

852
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: a choice. Right, if you grew up in another place,

853
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 1: it's not even on the table, Like like if if

854
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 1: if you grew up maybe in I don't know, in

855
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 1: Bocaj in someplace across town, no one even thinks that

856
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 1: you're gonna deal drugs. You don't. You don't run with

857
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,840
Speaker 1: drug dealers. It's not a choice, right, So this is

858
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:15,479
Speaker 1: while this is I look at what you're saying right now.

859
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 1: I see a lot of girls in Dubai. They go

860
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:21,120
Speaker 1: to Dubai. We know that they didn't go to Dubai.

861
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:24,960
Speaker 1: We know that someone sent them to Dubaibi. Sure it's

862
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 1: their choice whether or not to go to Dubai, but

863
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 1: it's actually not a choice. Because if they want to

864
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:36,399
Speaker 1: go to Dubai, there are certain things they have to do.

865
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 1: And then and for some people, if you want to

866
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 1: live a certain life, if you want to live a

867
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:46,799
Speaker 1: certain lifestyle, if you're enamored with a certain lifestyle, male

868
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 1: or female, there's certain things you have to do and

869
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 1: so and so to me, I look, I look at

870
00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 1: it's kind of like what it is that people want.

871
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: I think if you want love and connection, you can

872
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 1: find that anywhere. If you want to go to live,

873
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 1: it's only a couple of niggles that can take you.

874
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 1: So then so you need to like, you need to go,

875
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 1: you need to find those guys. I don't figure out

876
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 1: how are you gonna get that story? Whenever I have

877
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:17,440
Speaker 1: this conversation, it ultimately deteriorates into who has a bag?

878
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 1: Women want a guy with a bag, and man want

879
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:24,440
Speaker 1: a bad bitch. These conversations only deteriorate to this the

880
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:26,839
Speaker 1: bitch one nigga would aut the money and the dude

881
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 1: went the baddest bitch in the game. I can never

882
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 1: have this conversation. And then when someone comes in and says, well, no,

883
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 1: that's just not true, because here's what's happening. I think

884
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 1: what you're telling me and what I'm hearing is that

885
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,560
Speaker 1: there's a certain you're like in my scircle carry that

886
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 1: doesn't exist. I don't know what you're talking about black

887
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 1: men or emotional. They talk about their feeling blah blah

888
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 1: blah blah, and I'm like, no, actually no, I don't

889
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 1: see that. So you see that, and then I ultimately here.

890
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,920
Speaker 1: But these girls are out here big, chasing a bag,

891
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 1: only dating guys who can tell them to do buy

892
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 1: they want to be on the pja blah blah blah

893
00:47:56,080 --> 00:48:01,080
Speaker 1: blah blah. I feel like girls the small You know

894
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I don't know any girls like that,

895
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: but I always, I always hear that. I don't know

896
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 1: women like that. Everybody I know is busting balls and

897
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 1: working hard and doing it on their own and figuring

898
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,239
Speaker 1: it out and looking for love in the process, right

899
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 1: whether or if they're with their mate trying to win

900
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:18,319
Speaker 1: for their mate too. I don't know that world. So

901
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 1: I think what's happening is that because of social media,

902
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 1: we we are really blinded by what it is like.

903
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:28,360
Speaker 1: We just it's it's it's so confusing and mucky and muddy.

904
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 1: And you say to this point and not real like

905
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 1: it's not real life. It's not real life. But I

906
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 1: know men are motivated by getting money because they think

907
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,839
Speaker 1: they can have women. I know men are like when

908
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: they get money, they are ageless, they are waitless, they

909
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:51,879
Speaker 1: are whatever it is belly ball two thousand years old.

910
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 1: If I got Brad, I don't care. And to me,

911
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 1: a lot of that is a motivating factor with a

912
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,280
Speaker 1: lot of men because they want to live this life

913
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,319
Speaker 1: with the you say they won't love. But I feel

914
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 1: like I see this. I was like, I want bread,

915
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 1: I want bread, I want money because I know I'm

916
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:06,760
Speaker 1: gonna have women. Literally, Am I wrong? Is that wrong?

917
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:09,280
Speaker 1: You're not, but I do think, but you're not. But

918
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:11,399
Speaker 1: but I do think this though you're not wrong at all.

919
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 1: But this only thing I say, Number one, it's not

920
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 1: it's not. So this is an argument I have with

921
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 1: men about women. Well, I was in college. Nick nick

922
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 1: Saban was the coach of L Shoe. I remember a

923
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 1: friend of ours, very beautiful woman who was like our

924
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,800
Speaker 1: same age, that said she was attracted to Nick Saban.

925
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:38,799
Speaker 1: And we at this point, we look we all we

926
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 1: all looked at we all looked at Nick Saban. Years old.

927
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 1: We all looked at Nick Saban. We're like, what are

928
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 1: you talking. She's like, uh no, she's I'm attracted to

929
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:52,400
Speaker 1: Nick Saban, Like Nick Saban's an attractive god. And I'm like,

930
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:55,319
Speaker 1: why would Nick Saban be attractive? And what she was

931
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:58,040
Speaker 1: talking about? And this is a this is a difference

932
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 1: where there were things about Coach Saban that were attractive

933
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 1: to her didn't have anything to do, not necessarily with

934
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 1: how he looked. How he looked, wasn't just enough of

935
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 1: a distraction to take away from the fact that he

936
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:14,279
Speaker 1: was asserted, the fact that he was a leader, the

937
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: fact that he was secure, the fact that he seemed

938
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,000
Speaker 1: like a protector, all kinds of things that women would

939
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,759
Speaker 1: actually be attracted to a man, the same reason why

940
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 1: some women were attracted to Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton was

941
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:29,719
Speaker 1: handsome for a president, you know what I mean? Oh,

942
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 1: Bill Clinton was doing this thing. But the power the

943
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 1: power of stars, I just saw another night and we

944
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:38,400
Speaker 1: gotta tell me, right, okay, cool, that doesn't exist for

945
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:41,800
Speaker 1: like men. So that's the thing, like men don't look

946
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:46,360
Speaker 1: at like uh like I don't know, um angela Merkel

947
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 1: from Germany and be like ship God, damn, she were

948
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 1: all in Germany. Like that's why I'm talking about Like

949
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:55,439
Speaker 1: that doesn't exist, right, So if the utics are different, right,

950
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 1: And so what I'm saying is when women, like I

951
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 1: think some times we talked past each other, when women

952
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:04,400
Speaker 1: are saying that like they are attracted to maybe like

953
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 1: the DJ Kalin, they're really attracted to him. It's not

954
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 1: that they're attracted him because of the money. It's that

955
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 1: the money makes him attractive. See, And I think sometimes

956
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,840
Speaker 1: people get that confused. It's not it's not like, hey,

957
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 1: I'm attracted to him because he's no the money and

958
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 1: the fact that he could do anything that he wants.

959
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 1: He lives a care free lifestyle, he can take care

960
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:29,160
Speaker 1: of you, he's a provider, he's confident, all the things.

961
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 1: Sometimes that money makes you for some people, not everyone,

962
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:37,319
Speaker 1: that makes that person attractive. And for men it's just

963
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 1: very a lot of times, a lot of times, normally

964
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 1: when you're younger, it's very biological. But if you allow

965
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:48,279
Speaker 1: yourself to be open, you know that as a man,

966
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 1: you need a companion. You need someone you can listen,

967
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:56,879
Speaker 1: You need someone who you can nurture, who can nurture you.

968
00:51:56,880 --> 00:52:01,040
Speaker 1: You need someone who actually is a plus to your life.

969
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,399
Speaker 1: A lot of these guys that's running around and still

970
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 1: chasing after it after all of this time, it's because

971
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 1: they're searching for something. And just because of the patriarchy

972
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:15,880
Speaker 1: that we live in, those guys can do more damage

973
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:19,799
Speaker 1: then women can't. They could like they could, they can

974
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 1: do more damage because the reality is if you were

975
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 1: I don't know whoever your puff like Puff is that

976
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:29,000
Speaker 1: young Miami shout out to Puff. That's my man, that

977
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 1: girls like twenty seven years old, right and he's and

978
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 1: it's at this point in his life right now, it's

979
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 1: never gonna be whack for Puff today, the twenty seven

980
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 1: year old girl, it's never gonna be whack or not

981
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:46,960
Speaker 1: like that, because that's just the way that that to me.

982
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 1: That's not not saying I'm not saying that I'm looking

983
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,759
Speaker 1: at it that way. What I'm saying is just in

984
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 1: the world, that's kind of a thing like he's rich,

985
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 1: he's he can he can afford it, and people are

986
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: gonna be like and he still looks great. If you're

987
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:04,279
Speaker 1: a fifty two year old guy that works at the

988
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:07,439
Speaker 1: post office, you're a lot different than if you're Sean Kohlan. Sure,

989
00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:12,560
Speaker 1: for sure for sure. Right, So, like when when I'm

990
00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 1: trying to this is what I want people to come

991
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:17,280
Speaker 1: to terms with. I want people to come to terms

992
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 1: with what it is if they're attracted, if the reality

993
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 1: is it's like, come to terms with it and just

994
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:26,839
Speaker 1: be okay with it. Everybody stopped billy aching about what

995
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:29,680
Speaker 1: it is. Here's the thing we talked about future earlier.

996
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:34,720
Speaker 1: We are bullshit. We know why women are attracted to future.

997
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 1: Future is good looking, Future is successful, Future is talented.

998
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 1: Future has a bad boy aura that you guys do.

999
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 1: We know why women are attracted to future. It is

1000
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:51,800
Speaker 1: the same reason why women have been attracted to futures

1001
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:55,920
Speaker 1: since the beginning of time. Right, we know why women

1002
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:58,839
Speaker 1: are attracted to future. We get it. We understand what's

1003
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:01,680
Speaker 1: wrong the future. Let's tuture because you caught him a

1004
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 1: funk nothing he What what I'm saying is, I don't

1005
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:08,359
Speaker 1: think necessarily the future is the funk boy. I think

1006
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:12,759
Speaker 1: he's the post. So when I was like, because he's

1007
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:16,960
Speaker 1: got a lot of kids with a lot of different ladies, okay,

1008
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:22,919
Speaker 1: and he does amazingly inappropriate things like that I'm good

1009
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 1: love and joy text and all of that stuff. So

1010
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,839
Speaker 1: I think that I personally, I don't think that he's

1011
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 1: a bad dude, but I think that I think that

1012
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:35,080
Speaker 1: if you if people were to put funk boy on

1013
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 1: the deal and look at somebody, it would be future.

1014
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:38,719
Speaker 1: And that's not to say that we haven't all been

1015
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 1: futures at one time, because we definitely have. But what

1016
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:45,719
Speaker 1: I'm saying is that he is somebody who lives in

1017
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:50,000
Speaker 1: it and embraces it. And if you were, if Russell

1018
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:53,560
Speaker 1: Wilson would be the square, then future would definitely have

1019
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:56,839
Speaker 1: to play the funk boy round. And so and if

1020
00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:59,000
Speaker 1: a funk boy is somebody who just funks you and

1021
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:01,640
Speaker 1: it's not serious about it, me being and do whatever

1022
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:04,759
Speaker 1: or whatever, that's kind of who we would be. All

1023
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:10,920
Speaker 1: I'm saying is that that's who he is his persona.

1024
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,319
Speaker 1: That's an afrodisiact. You're right. No, you're right, and by

1025
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 1: the way, you're right. And so when I and a

1026
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 1: lot of things that you're saying, I'm like, no, that's

1027
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:20,600
Speaker 1: not true, but that's I'm referring to myself. And and

1028
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 1: this is when you say I'm getting some jacket jee,

1029
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:24,799
Speaker 1: I'm like, you've got some funny. I'm so there, I'm good.

1030
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 1: I'm glad you're getting jacket Joe. I'm glad you think

1031
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:32,719
Speaker 1: I'm refined, but it's not. It's but the reality is

1032
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:35,880
Speaker 1: is what you're saying is I I hear you. You're correct,

1033
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:38,399
Speaker 1: and and where you grew up, Cresias, where the ship

1034
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 1: and there's nothing wrong with a Cresha and a ditty.

1035
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 1: That is the society in which we live in. And

1036
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:47,320
Speaker 1: they are together and whatever that means right together, whatever

1037
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:51,240
Speaker 1: that means right, because I mean we know and and

1038
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:53,319
Speaker 1: I felt like and it wasn't like it said, it's

1039
00:55:53,320 --> 00:56:05,319
Speaker 1: coming off. What's so shameing? What I say? What I do?

1040
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:09,520
Speaker 1: What did I what I say? I did? It was?

1041
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:13,520
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? My point being is is

1042
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:16,720
Speaker 1: that we should not belliate and we should not complain.

1043
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 1: We should be honest about what we're attracted to, and

1044
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 1: we should be unapologetic in that. You are correct, you are,

1045
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:24,440
Speaker 1: You are okay. Thank you for therapy, Thank you for

1046
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:27,759
Speaker 1: getting me all together. You got me all together. You're right.

1047
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 1: I need to be honest because someone if I start

1048
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:31,680
Speaker 1: saying what I'm attracted to do, somebody would be like

1049
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 1: you sound stupid, like that's crazy, that's not realistic. That's

1050
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:37,440
Speaker 1: not a real world, right if I or the men

1051
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 1: that I've dated, that's not realistic, that's not real world.

1052
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:43,959
Speaker 1: I get it. So I understand what you're saying. CAUs

1053
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 1: your question though serious, serious question, like like power is attractive, right,

1054
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:54,960
Speaker 1: like power? The way you described old girl liking Nick

1055
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 1: Saban was perfectly to it. And by the way, as

1056
00:56:57,719 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 1: a younger man, I couldn't understand it. I'm like, you

1057
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 1: like him because he makes like at that times, we're

1058
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:05,160
Speaker 1: getting them cheap. He makes three million dollars as the

1059
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 1: head coach at LSU football. That's why you like him.

1060
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,799
Speaker 1: She's like, no, he's the most powerful man in the state.

1061
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 1: Like that's why I like him. And I'm like, that's

1062
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:14,200
Speaker 1: real and that's and and I was I was telling

1063
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 1: him the people at at like at TMZ this one time,

1064
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:20,760
Speaker 1: and I was like, uh, and this is a crude

1065
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:23,640
Speaker 1: way to put this, so excuse all of everybody's ears.

1066
00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 1: I was like, they were saying they were talking about

1067
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 1: some model, and they were like, she's with this um

1068
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:32,080
Speaker 1: because a lot of times these Victoria's secret models, some

1069
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,000
Speaker 1: of the victorious supret models, you'll go and you'll never

1070
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:35,720
Speaker 1: hear from them again. And then you'll find out, oh,

1071
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:41,959
Speaker 1: well they're married to the head is shipping magnet or whatever. Right,

1072
00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 1: And so we're on So we're on the show, we're

1073
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,959
Speaker 1: talking about this. It's like, and you go, she married

1074
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:48,440
Speaker 1: him for his money, and I was like, it depends

1075
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:50,960
Speaker 1: on what you mean by that. He goes what I

1076
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:53,160
Speaker 1: was like, if you're saying that every night they go

1077
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:58,200
Speaker 1: to bed and she her skin crawls when he touches

1078
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 1: her and she grins and air of her entire life

1079
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 1: because of money, then the way you're talking about it

1080
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:09,040
Speaker 1: is wrong. What I'm telling you right now. What I

1081
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 1: believe is that he picks her up on a private jet.

1082
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 1: He takes her to the south of France. They chill,

1083
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:18,520
Speaker 1: She sees him make a million business deals a day,

1084
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 1: she sees the way people react to him, and her

1085
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:30,920
Speaker 1: pussy gets like legitimately, like like like she doesn't have

1086
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:32,800
Speaker 1: to she have to like just have to bite down

1087
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 1: for it like it legitimately happens. And if that's the case,

1088
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:39,520
Speaker 1: the money is just an attribute to he was I'm

1089
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:41,400
Speaker 1: sure he could be like a terrible guy to turn

1090
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:43,120
Speaker 1: her off. He meaning the dogs, me and the kids,

1091
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:46,360
Speaker 1: and that would be one thing but like beyond that,

1092
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:48,640
Speaker 1: that's like a real thing. And so if that's a

1093
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 1: real thing, then being attracted some chick that's like in

1094
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:56,400
Speaker 1: Maxim magazine, it's kind of like the same thing she

1095
00:58:56,480 --> 00:59:00,560
Speaker 1: has biological she has biologically the ship that you see

1096
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:02,680
Speaker 1: that you like, your brain takes over and you go,

1097
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 1: I like Massive magazine would be the magazine that is

1098
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 1: the most Honestly, I'm not being funny. That is probably

1099
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:13,520
Speaker 1: the most fair way to describe what it is. And

1100
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 1: and there's no excuse around it. And somebody like me

1101
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:18,120
Speaker 1: who tries to be like a highbrow, You're right, A

1102
00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 1: power is attractive and I and I want to see

1103
00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:23,320
Speaker 1: somebody out there moving and making deals and ambitious because

1104
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 1: that's attractive. That is attractive. Somebody going out there to

1105
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:29,200
Speaker 1: get it is attractive. I will add this caveat no

1106
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:32,040
Speaker 1: one will believe it. You don't have to be a billionaire.

1107
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:34,560
Speaker 1: You don't have to have a private jet. You don't have.

1108
00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:36,800
Speaker 1: But if I see you out here hustling and get it,

1109
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 1: and I see people you're you're you own a convenience

1110
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 1: store and your employees react to you in a certain way,

1111
00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:45,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's attractive. Like my point is is that

1112
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,960
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be at that magnitude. And and

1113
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:53,920
Speaker 1: oftentimes I think men can sometimes be delusional about this

1114
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:56,640
Speaker 1: part of it, right, because it's all aesthetics for men

1115
00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:58,680
Speaker 1: to be honest. Because when you see in women to

1116
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:01,680
Speaker 1: women to when into but a woman is more willing.

1117
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 1: A guy ain't gonna date a woman because she's powerful

1118
01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:07,320
Speaker 1: and and people react to her a certain way. Some

1119
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:09,280
Speaker 1: guys will because I think guys are group piece as well.

1120
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 1: But like if she got a belly, Like a woman

1121
01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 1: doesn't believe because she's successful, she can be ageless because

1122
01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:17,920
Speaker 1: she's successful. She can have a belly because she's successful

1123
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,960
Speaker 1: and the people react to her and she's famous that

1124
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 1: she can just be like I'm just here. We don't

1125
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 1: believe that works in our favor, correct, Carrie, You're so right.

1126
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:29,800
Speaker 1: I mean I don't think that. I think you're right,

1127
01:00:29,880 --> 01:00:33,680
Speaker 1: but I got beyonest with you. This is be honest

1128
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 1: with me. Let me Gusk is fascinating, like because I

1129
01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:46,240
Speaker 1: haven't because this is fascinating. It's fascinating because look, I

1130
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:49,080
Speaker 1: remember the first time I met you. I'm like, oh ship,

1131
01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:51,840
Speaker 1: that's like carry champion, Like I wake up. I watched

1132
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 1: Sports Centers carry Champion like the whole fucking time. It's

1133
01:00:56,040 --> 01:01:00,880
Speaker 1: like you're in so many we because like I don't know,

1134
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:04,240
Speaker 1: when somebody's at ESPN, you don't get a chance to

1135
01:01:04,320 --> 01:01:08,400
Speaker 1: like really talk to them and like get their worldview.

1136
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 1: And this is this is fascinating to hear. Why is

1137
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 1: it fascinating to you? Because I wouldn't think that I

1138
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:20,640
Speaker 1: would think that we would talk about the seventies sixers

1139
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:25,200
Speaker 1: or something like that. I don't know, Can I say something?

1140
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:28,400
Speaker 1: Can I say something? So I've been thinking about doing

1141
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 1: a podcast about relationships, and I will say this, I

1142
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:35,240
Speaker 1: all I've been looking for a counterpart who will go

1143
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:37,200
Speaker 1: to tote tote me because I feel like, and I

1144
01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:40,360
Speaker 1: will say this caveat if someone's listening, I'm dating. I'm happy.

1145
01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 1: I'm in a really good relationship. But I do feel

1146
01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:45,720
Speaker 1: like there are so many of my friends who are

1147
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 1: going through this battle every single day. And then of

1148
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 1: course I went around a bunch of athletes and the

1149
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:52,040
Speaker 1: ship that they like and it's that they do is

1150
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 1: so ridiculous, And in my mind, I'm like, are you

1151
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:57,560
Speaker 1: really You're about to have ten babies? You about to

1152
01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 1: have ten babies with three different women. Oh, it's just

1153
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 1: like I employ you to not count them because that's

1154
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:07,200
Speaker 1: such a that's such an unrealistic view of how it happens.

1155
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 1: Like those guys, because little unicorns that throughout their whole

1156
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:19,320
Speaker 1: life have been told that they're special and because they are. Right,

1157
01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 1: it's like, if you can't like those, I understand that

1158
01:02:22,560 --> 01:02:25,280
Speaker 1: because like and and and l A will do that.

1159
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 1: L A will do that to you as well, because

1160
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:30,280
Speaker 1: you're in When I'm in Batarouge, right, we all going

1161
01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:32,200
Speaker 1: to the club. We all go in there, we danced

1162
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:34,520
Speaker 1: till we sweaty. We come out of the club dripping red,

1163
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:37,080
Speaker 1: wet and sweat. You're going to You're going to a

1164
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:39,840
Speaker 1: club in l A. And you look around and it's like, yo,

1165
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:43,240
Speaker 1: it's really rich niggas in here. Like it's like they

1166
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:46,720
Speaker 1: are really rich, but they're not playing. These are These

1167
01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:49,200
Speaker 1: are not the dope dealers off your block or the

1168
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:52,400
Speaker 1: guys that are. And when I'm from the dudes that

1169
01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:55,480
Speaker 1: promoted the parties were the dudes that had the most money.

1170
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:57,000
Speaker 1: To be honest with you, you know what I mean.

1171
01:02:57,480 --> 01:03:03,080
Speaker 1: But yeah, here, especially back like before, like I walk

1172
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:05,920
Speaker 1: in the club and see fucking Kevin Durant. There you

1173
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:08,040
Speaker 1: you start to think to yourself, well, what the funk

1174
01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 1: am I supposed to do? You know, like the whole

1175
01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:13,439
Speaker 1: days you saw the thing, you start to think to yourself, well,

1176
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:15,960
Speaker 1: what the hell is going on in you? I first

1177
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:17,840
Speaker 1: got when I first got to l A. The first

1178
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:21,560
Speaker 1: couple of years, I was out here, like, I look

1179
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:25,360
Speaker 1: and I see God damn fucking Leonard Dicapriol's like at

1180
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 1: the skybar, like and it's like a line. It's like

1181
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:32,920
Speaker 1: a line, like a photo move to meet him. So

1182
01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:34,920
Speaker 1: you're talking about somebody who grew up here. So if

1183
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:37,400
Speaker 1: I see George Clooney a story about Starbucks, I'm like,

1184
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:41,480
Speaker 1: that's really George Clooney at Starbucks. Like in college, that's different.

1185
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:45,360
Speaker 1: That's different for me. And so but like I when

1186
01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:48,720
Speaker 1: I go back home, sometimes black people just meet fucking

1187
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:52,400
Speaker 1: get married. It's just that's it. It's sometimes they just

1188
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:56,400
Speaker 1: it's much more simple, it's much more easy. Yeah, And

1189
01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:58,440
Speaker 1: you're that's what That's what I started off. When I

1190
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:00,280
Speaker 1: talked about your book, I was like, your mentality is

1191
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:03,680
Speaker 1: very different, even though you've been indoctrinated into this Hollywood world,

1192
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 1: your mentality is very different, very different, very different. Every

1193
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:09,040
Speaker 1: Chappion and carry Chappion is to be a champion of

1194
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 1: Chappion and carry Chappi and and carry chappiyan Chappi and

1195
01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:15,440
Speaker 1: carry Chappi and they carry Chappi afraid and sports and

1196
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:19,280
Speaker 1: then the same make and make it work very Chappi

1197
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:21,600
Speaker 1: and they carry Chappion is to be a champion a

1198
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:25,040
Speaker 1: Chappi and they carry Chappi and the Chappi and they

1199
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:29,400
Speaker 1: carry Chappi and they carry Chappi and then make it work.

1200
01:04:30,040 --> 01:04:31,760
Speaker 1: I have to say this, Okay, so this is I

1201
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:33,640
Speaker 1: know you thought I was gonna talk about sports, but

1202
01:04:33,720 --> 01:04:36,000
Speaker 1: I have been a fan since TMZ, and people often

1203
01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:39,480
Speaker 1: ask you about that moment when you left or when

1204
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:42,720
Speaker 1: you know, when you I don't know they all broke up. Yeah, yeah,

1205
01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:43,840
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know if I did you

1206
01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:48,080
Speaker 1: want to say that. Yeah, it's fine. So you get fired.

1207
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:50,240
Speaker 1: And the first thing I thought was what a horrible

1208
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:53,439
Speaker 1: what a horrible loss for TMZ, What a horrible loss

1209
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:55,920
Speaker 1: for tam Z, But also what a wonderful opportunity for

1210
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:58,440
Speaker 1: him to make his way and to to use this

1211
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:00,840
Speaker 1: platform to share his message because they kind of got

1212
01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:03,000
Speaker 1: in the way, if I'm being honest, you don't necessarily

1213
01:05:03,040 --> 01:05:05,520
Speaker 1: need that type of platform to help to give your message.

1214
01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:08,000
Speaker 1: And I've watched you and I don't say anything, but

1215
01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:10,680
Speaker 1: I quietly watch you, and I think he's doing and

1216
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 1: I and I love it because you're in spite of

1217
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 1: Did you ever think that you would be at a

1218
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:19,080
Speaker 1: point in your career where your opinion mattered, where people

1219
01:05:19,160 --> 01:05:21,200
Speaker 1: would wake up and look to see what you're tweeting

1220
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:23,640
Speaker 1: or saying, or what your podcast is saying. And I'm

1221
01:05:23,680 --> 01:05:25,920
Speaker 1: saying this from someone who here the woman who does

1222
01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:27,280
Speaker 1: might make up. She's like I was listening to Van.

1223
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:29,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, if you keep telling me about man like

1224
01:05:30,200 --> 01:05:33,680
Speaker 1: Van said this today and it's gospel for her. My

1225
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:36,720
Speaker 1: best friend who who loved your book, who battles with

1226
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:40,200
Speaker 1: her weight, Oh, is this gospel for me? Did you

1227
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 1: ever think that you would be in this position, um,

1228
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,680
Speaker 1: from when you left TMZ or when you have fire

1229
01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:47,360
Speaker 1: from T and Z to where we are now? Do

1230
01:05:47,440 --> 01:05:50,560
Speaker 1: you ever feel like this was the vision? No? Not really,

1231
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:55,160
Speaker 1: because I think that, um that when I speak and

1232
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:56,840
Speaker 1: I say stuff, is it feels like stuff that I

1233
01:05:56,880 --> 01:05:59,400
Speaker 1: have to say. I was one of those people that

1234
01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:02,680
Speaker 1: would just be remember it being in the sixth grade

1235
01:06:02,680 --> 01:06:05,400
Speaker 1: and this politician came to, uh to our school and

1236
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 1: he's talking. I just remember sitting there arrested, like I

1237
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,439
Speaker 1: have to be able to say something. I have to say,

1238
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:13,000
Speaker 1: I have to say Something's almost like an anxiety like

1239
01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:15,760
Speaker 1: a response. I have to say something. And so I

1240
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:18,200
Speaker 1: never really uh thought that it would be And I

1241
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:21,160
Speaker 1: think most people that, like obviously Charlottage's like that. Charlottage

1242
01:06:21,240 --> 01:06:23,120
Speaker 1: just like he'll call you up and rank for like

1243
01:06:23,160 --> 01:06:27,440
Speaker 1: two hours because he'd be high. Yeah, like over something

1244
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:29,720
Speaker 1: like He'll he'll call you up and rant for like

1245
01:06:29,760 --> 01:06:32,400
Speaker 1: two hours because he really has it. He has to

1246
01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:35,720
Speaker 1: get off his chest and he like has a platform

1247
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:37,360
Speaker 1: to do it. So I never really thought that. And

1248
01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:39,840
Speaker 1: to be honest with you, being at TMZ for as

1249
01:06:39,840 --> 01:06:43,120
Speaker 1: long as I was, it was like it was like

1250
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:46,320
Speaker 1: four a time. I thought that the reputation of the

1251
01:06:47,120 --> 01:06:49,240
Speaker 1: platform would be an albatross around my neck that I

1252
01:06:49,240 --> 01:06:51,520
Speaker 1: would never be able to shake free up. And if

1253
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:56,600
Speaker 1: if it's if anything that is the divine work of

1254
01:06:56,640 --> 01:06:58,800
Speaker 1: the Kanye West moment, the divine work of the Kanye

1255
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:03,680
Speaker 1: West moment. It was almost like uh, God saying to

1256
01:07:03,720 --> 01:07:06,920
Speaker 1: me I'm gonna give you an opportunity to show people

1257
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:09,120
Speaker 1: who you really are. Whether or not you take it,

1258
01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:12,680
Speaker 1: is like I'm gonna give you an opportunity. Even beyond

1259
01:07:12,760 --> 01:07:14,840
Speaker 1: all of this other stuff. I had great relationships with people.

1260
01:07:14,840 --> 01:07:16,600
Speaker 1: I was able to meet up a bunch of people.

1261
01:07:17,040 --> 01:07:19,160
Speaker 1: Most people have watched the show like me, I was

1262
01:07:19,240 --> 01:07:22,640
Speaker 1: the man there already, but it was like like with

1263
01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:24,840
Speaker 1: him walking in there, it was like, I'm gonna give

1264
01:07:24,880 --> 01:07:28,280
Speaker 1: you one moment to show people who you really are,

1265
01:07:29,040 --> 01:07:32,640
Speaker 1: and that can get you, that can change the perception

1266
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:35,320
Speaker 1: of you. And I think, uh, it was it was

1267
01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:38,200
Speaker 1: luck that that had happened that way, but I also

1268
01:07:38,200 --> 01:07:42,240
Speaker 1: think it was divine timing. Uh that like I me

1269
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:46,160
Speaker 1: at the moment. So that's why, like, no matter what happens,

1270
01:07:46,280 --> 01:07:48,920
Speaker 1: it's like, with as much work as you've done in

1271
01:07:48,960 --> 01:07:53,680
Speaker 1: your in your career, I bet that there's a part

1272
01:07:53,720 --> 01:07:56,960
Speaker 1: of you that believes that being prepared for whatever opportunity

1273
01:07:57,080 --> 01:08:00,000
Speaker 1: might come to you, it is probably the most important.

1274
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:02,920
Speaker 1: And think like, at some point you're gonna get that shot.

1275
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:05,919
Speaker 1: The point is whether or not you're prepared. I would

1276
01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:08,200
Speaker 1: show up to work every day. I would work to

1277
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:10,720
Speaker 1: holidays at TAMS to get more camera time. Whatever I

1278
01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:13,880
Speaker 1: could do to stretch my legs there, to make me

1279
01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:15,880
Speaker 1: a fixture there, I would. So by the time something

1280
01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:21,120
Speaker 1: like that happens, I'm ready for you. Did you do

1281
01:08:21,160 --> 01:08:27,080
Speaker 1: you think you're a celebrity now? Um? Yes, I think

1282
01:08:28,640 --> 01:08:31,000
Speaker 1: I think I'm people's homeboy. I think I'm a I

1283
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:33,360
Speaker 1: think I'm a popular friend. I think Brad Pitt is

1284
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:36,920
Speaker 1: a celebrity. I think I think when people, when people,

1285
01:08:37,520 --> 01:08:39,880
Speaker 1: when people come up to me, they're like they want

1286
01:08:39,880 --> 01:08:44,000
Speaker 1: to talk. I think that's amazing, Like they want to talk.

1287
01:08:44,040 --> 01:08:46,880
Speaker 1: Like people respond to me from the stuff that I

1288
01:08:46,920 --> 01:08:49,840
Speaker 1: do on the Wringer, from the podcast, I've reached no

1289
01:08:49,920 --> 01:08:51,639
Speaker 1: matter what I'm talking about, whether the star Wars or whatever,

1290
01:08:51,680 --> 01:08:53,920
Speaker 1: they want to have a conversation with me. They want

1291
01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:58,080
Speaker 1: to engage with me. I think being a celebrity is vastly,

1292
01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:00,920
Speaker 1: vastly overrated, and I think at my time at TMZ

1293
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:07,240
Speaker 1: has driven that home more than anything. I think there

1294
01:09:07,240 --> 01:09:10,320
Speaker 1: are celebrities, and then there there are contributors, and then

1295
01:09:10,320 --> 01:09:14,200
Speaker 1: there are artists, and um, I'm a contributor right now,

1296
01:09:14,880 --> 01:09:19,200
Speaker 1: but I'm hoping to be an artist. Have you been

1297
01:09:19,200 --> 01:09:24,840
Speaker 1: affected by Hollywood? I went through a time where I

1298
01:09:24,840 --> 01:09:27,800
Speaker 1: thought I was the man? How could you not? You know?

1299
01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:31,080
Speaker 1: I went through a teen year period of like hiding

1300
01:09:31,080 --> 01:09:34,080
Speaker 1: myself and making sure that nobody saw me, um to

1301
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:37,479
Speaker 1: making sure that everyone saw me, because whenever somebody saw me,

1302
01:09:37,520 --> 01:09:39,439
Speaker 1: they had a big smile and a pen on the

1303
01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:43,520
Speaker 1: back for me. So I think, uh, it's super difficult,

1304
01:09:44,320 --> 01:09:46,920
Speaker 1: um to not lose yourself. And there's and there's a

1305
01:09:47,200 --> 01:09:51,800
Speaker 1: there's mirroring ways that it happens. Right, It's like when

1306
01:09:53,040 --> 01:09:57,120
Speaker 1: when the thing when ya first happened, when I made

1307
01:09:57,160 --> 01:10:00,280
Speaker 1: it very I made a very deliberate point the next

1308
01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:04,200
Speaker 1: day to go on Instagram and make sure that I

1309
01:10:04,240 --> 01:10:07,439
Speaker 1: directed people to Jason Wilson and a cave of adullam

1310
01:10:07,479 --> 01:10:10,439
Speaker 1: in in Um in Detroit and what they're doing for

1311
01:10:10,479 --> 01:10:11,960
Speaker 1: the kids up there, just to make sure that I

1312
01:10:12,080 --> 01:10:14,360
Speaker 1: use it for something good. That what happened over the

1313
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:18,519
Speaker 1: course of the next x a couple of months or whatever,

1314
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:21,920
Speaker 1: UM was that people would send me different videos, send

1315
01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 1: me videos of black people being beat up on buses

1316
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:27,800
Speaker 1: of all all types of different things like that, and like, yo,

1317
01:10:27,880 --> 01:10:30,479
Speaker 1: post this post this, like have you seen what happened?

1318
01:10:30,479 --> 01:10:33,080
Speaker 1: Bylah blah? Because I became like a navocate, like a warrior, right,

1319
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:37,040
Speaker 1: And the reality is is that that's like not me,

1320
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:40,880
Speaker 1: Like talking about the conditions of black people is something

1321
01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:43,680
Speaker 1: inherent to me. But triggering black people every day and

1322
01:10:43,680 --> 01:10:45,400
Speaker 1: this is not me coming to anybody who does this,

1323
01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:48,840
Speaker 1: because people have to know what's going on triggering black

1324
01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:51,639
Speaker 1: people every day and triggering myself by images of black

1325
01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:54,240
Speaker 1: people getting sucked over being a boy, the police being

1326
01:10:54,280 --> 01:10:57,320
Speaker 1: at the waffle house, being at wherever. It's not who

1327
01:10:57,360 --> 01:10:59,439
Speaker 1: I am. I wasn't doing that before, So why would

1328
01:10:59,479 --> 01:11:02,160
Speaker 1: I do it out? When you go to my when

1329
01:11:02,160 --> 01:11:05,760
Speaker 1: you go to my Instagram, you're gonna see, like, um,

1330
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:09,120
Speaker 1: the whole canvas, the whole painting of who I am,

1331
01:11:09,520 --> 01:11:13,800
Speaker 1: funny ship, dumb ship. You're gonna see some things that

1332
01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:16,360
Speaker 1: I feel like the community should be or where. And

1333
01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:18,280
Speaker 1: you're gonna see some things that are that are causing

1334
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:22,519
Speaker 1: my personal but all away from like my personal life,

1335
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:25,879
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Um? And so I decided

1336
01:11:25,920 --> 01:11:27,920
Speaker 1: that rather than do that and try to get to

1337
01:11:28,160 --> 01:11:29,800
Speaker 1: a million and a million and a half two million

1338
01:11:29,840 --> 01:11:32,679
Speaker 1: followers by putting things on there that would trigger people

1339
01:11:33,360 --> 01:11:34,760
Speaker 1: over and over and over again, that I was just

1340
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:37,280
Speaker 1: gonna be me. I was just gonna be me. Some

1341
01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:39,360
Speaker 1: of the ship was gonna be stupid, some of the

1342
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:42,080
Speaker 1: ship was going to be uh is gonna have some

1343
01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:43,519
Speaker 1: outreach to it, and some of you was gonna be

1344
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:45,360
Speaker 1: challenging and wrong. But I'm just going to be me.

1345
01:11:45,720 --> 01:11:49,840
Speaker 1: I think the hardest thing to do once you've received

1346
01:11:50,120 --> 01:11:53,519
Speaker 1: any sort of notoriety at all. That's even if you're

1347
01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:58,280
Speaker 1: just on TMZ in l A. Uh when you move

1348
01:11:58,360 --> 01:11:59,960
Speaker 1: to l A. Because the people I know from l A.

1349
01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:02,000
Speaker 1: I keep telling people this, people I know from l

1350
01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:05,120
Speaker 1: A are super duper real. They're the realest people. The

1351
01:12:05,120 --> 01:12:07,080
Speaker 1: people I know from it like, they're real. Yeah, you

1352
01:12:07,080 --> 01:12:08,840
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. People say l A is fake.

1353
01:12:08,880 --> 01:12:10,479
Speaker 1: It's like, nah, y'all came out here to be the

1354
01:12:10,520 --> 01:12:14,880
Speaker 1: prompt king and and you guys are in Hollywood. You're

1355
01:12:14,880 --> 01:12:16,639
Speaker 1: really not even talking about it. You're talking about between

1356
01:12:16,960 --> 01:12:22,080
Speaker 1: Santa Monica and fucking you know what I'm saying. By

1357
01:12:22,080 --> 01:12:24,479
Speaker 1: the way, you for you to say that it's such

1358
01:12:24,479 --> 01:12:26,000
Speaker 1: a bad I say that, so you come here. The

1359
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:28,000
Speaker 1: people from A layer as honest as they get. I

1360
01:12:28,040 --> 01:12:30,000
Speaker 1: love you for being like I'm getting drift you. I'm

1361
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:31,400
Speaker 1: like no, I'm just being like, this is what I

1362
01:12:31,400 --> 01:12:33,760
Speaker 1: feel like. I don't know any other way to be.

1363
01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:37,000
Speaker 1: Like I was trying to say, to really be honest

1364
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:39,519
Speaker 1: with you. It's like I was trying to say to you, Damn, Carrie,

1365
01:12:39,560 --> 01:12:41,479
Speaker 1: I didn't know you kept at this gangster. That's why

1366
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:43,960
Speaker 1: I was trying. That's all I was trying to say.

1367
01:12:44,040 --> 01:12:46,040
Speaker 1: But no, I guess my point is. And so when

1368
01:12:46,080 --> 01:12:49,040
Speaker 1: you come out here and it starts to happen, it's

1369
01:12:49,080 --> 01:12:52,080
Speaker 1: the most important thing to do. It's just man, stay

1370
01:12:52,120 --> 01:12:55,679
Speaker 1: the course of who you are, correct, Like, just stay

1371
01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:58,439
Speaker 1: the course of who you are. And because it's different,

1372
01:12:58,479 --> 01:13:00,760
Speaker 1: everybody looks at you different. Like if you're playing and

1373
01:13:00,920 --> 01:13:03,280
Speaker 1: you're playing basketball in the gym, after you've been here

1374
01:13:03,320 --> 01:13:06,040
Speaker 1: for a while, you're playing basketball for at the gym

1375
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:08,120
Speaker 1: and you see one of your homies in a commercial

1376
01:13:08,439 --> 01:13:11,280
Speaker 1: and oh ship, he got that commercial. And it's this

1377
01:13:11,479 --> 01:13:14,479
Speaker 1: weird little pick in order that starts to exist everywhere

1378
01:13:14,920 --> 01:13:18,000
Speaker 1: at once you get on television. It really starts to

1379
01:13:18,040 --> 01:13:20,320
Speaker 1: comfort people like, oh, well, you must be doing your

1380
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:22,720
Speaker 1: TMC every day, so you must be doing something right.

1381
01:13:23,280 --> 01:13:25,439
Speaker 1: So now let me So it's just weird. And so

1382
01:13:26,080 --> 01:13:28,000
Speaker 1: sometimes you can lose yourself in it, and I try

1383
01:13:28,040 --> 01:13:30,840
Speaker 1: not to, but I did for a little while. You

1384
01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:32,280
Speaker 1: did for a little while. And by the way, that's

1385
01:13:32,280 --> 01:13:34,240
Speaker 1: an honest I ask you that I don't and I

1386
01:13:34,280 --> 01:13:36,600
Speaker 1: wouldn't know. I wouldn't know outside looking in. But it

1387
01:13:36,680 --> 01:13:38,720
Speaker 1: can happen, and it does happen. It's a it's a

1388
01:13:38,800 --> 01:13:43,080
Speaker 1: real thing. You um And then and also too, you

1389
01:13:43,120 --> 01:13:45,280
Speaker 1: start to lose patients with a lot of things, like

1390
01:13:45,320 --> 01:13:47,360
Speaker 1: you start to demand or expect a lot of things

1391
01:13:47,360 --> 01:13:52,120
Speaker 1: that you normally wouldn't demand or expect. I we just

1392
01:13:52,240 --> 01:13:55,240
Speaker 1: we treat people differently, we act differently, we want differently,

1393
01:13:55,280 --> 01:13:58,680
Speaker 1: We just we just behave differently. And that's okay, and

1394
01:13:58,760 --> 01:14:00,600
Speaker 1: nothing is wrong with that. I don't want that to

1395
01:14:00,680 --> 01:14:04,080
Speaker 1: ever to be a slight. But I am fascinated when

1396
01:14:04,120 --> 01:14:07,520
Speaker 1: you use that. We're fascinated. I am fascinated by your trajectory.

1397
01:14:07,640 --> 01:14:11,320
Speaker 1: And I also I'm fascinated by how you chose two

1398
01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:14,439
Speaker 1: do it your way, like you're still out here doing

1399
01:14:14,479 --> 01:14:17,080
Speaker 1: it all. So then you get you get involved with

1400
01:14:17,120 --> 01:14:22,160
Speaker 1: this project which ultimately um manifest into an OSCAR and

1401
01:14:22,439 --> 01:14:27,040
Speaker 1: an Academy award. And you and I remember you posting

1402
01:14:27,080 --> 01:14:30,320
Speaker 1: something and I'm thinking, Wow, what a powerful moment, just wow,

1403
01:14:30,479 --> 01:14:33,599
Speaker 1: just wow. Like I think maybe even our our mutual

1404
01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:36,439
Speaker 1: friend bo Bozman post about a text that you guys

1405
01:14:36,439 --> 01:14:39,920
Speaker 1: had had a text exchange. You have Poma st John

1406
01:14:39,960 --> 01:14:42,920
Speaker 1: shout up to my bestie, and I thought that was

1407
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:47,000
Speaker 1: really powerful to talk to me about the moment that

1408
01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:49,559
Speaker 1: you won the oscar. How it all came to be

1409
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:55,160
Speaker 1: the project that free like Nick made six ft over Productions,

1410
01:14:55,200 --> 01:15:00,280
Speaker 1: we are. It's let's say it's late twenty nineteen early

1411
01:15:01,840 --> 01:15:04,240
Speaker 1: We're meeting at Lawrence Bendors house. Traymont was living at

1412
01:15:04,280 --> 01:15:07,080
Speaker 1: Lauren Lauren's Bevelders House this time. So we meet at

1413
01:15:07,120 --> 01:15:10,120
Speaker 1: Laurence benders House and we're talking about what we're going

1414
01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:13,439
Speaker 1: to do, Like we're gonna start a production company and

1415
01:15:13,479 --> 01:15:15,280
Speaker 1: we're gonna make them. We're gonna make a movie or

1416
01:15:15,320 --> 01:15:17,200
Speaker 1: a television show. Where are we gonna sell We're gonna

1417
01:15:17,240 --> 01:15:21,320
Speaker 1: do so pre pandemics that we would go there, um

1418
01:15:21,360 --> 01:15:24,320
Speaker 1: and we would sit down and we would discuss this stuff. Uh.

1419
01:15:24,479 --> 01:15:26,840
Speaker 1: Nick me and Nick had started to work and working

1420
01:15:26,840 --> 01:15:29,519
Speaker 1: and working together. We had come on as executive producers

1421
01:15:29,520 --> 01:15:32,960
Speaker 1: on another movie called Up the Uh that was about

1422
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:36,840
Speaker 1: Willie t Ribbs, the first black UH stock car driver

1423
01:15:36,880 --> 01:15:39,559
Speaker 1: at the n D five point. Um. Nick had helped

1424
01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:41,720
Speaker 1: me his every Duprenais, his sister. He had helped me

1425
01:15:41,720 --> 01:15:44,120
Speaker 1: get April my podcast with me and Nick were were

1426
01:15:44,120 --> 01:15:48,520
Speaker 1: working against. I met Nick Nick through Charlottage. So, um,

1427
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:51,000
Speaker 1: we're talking about all of this stuff. We're getting ideas together.

1428
01:15:51,040 --> 01:15:52,160
Speaker 1: What are we gonna do, What are we gonna do

1429
01:15:52,160 --> 01:15:55,280
Speaker 1: where we would do? The pandemic comes. But then it

1430
01:15:55,360 --> 01:15:58,639
Speaker 1: comes and obviously there are no meetings, there's no getting

1431
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:01,479
Speaker 1: together at Lawrence's house. Everybody stops, all of our hair

1432
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:08,360
Speaker 1: grows out, We look terrible. Um, it is about i'd say,

1433
01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:14,920
Speaker 1: for four months. So that starts in March. Maybe it's

1434
01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:20,960
Speaker 1: it's like it's July or June before we all get

1435
01:16:20,960 --> 01:16:24,320
Speaker 1: back together. We get there, we're social distancing. You know,

1436
01:16:24,560 --> 01:16:27,479
Speaker 1: by this point, everybody that's around that weird point where

1437
01:16:27,520 --> 01:16:30,679
Speaker 1: everyone realized that the pandemic wasn't going anywhere, but everything

1438
01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:33,400
Speaker 1: still wasn't open again, but we were still seeing kind

1439
01:16:33,439 --> 01:16:35,120
Speaker 1: of moving around, trying to go to dinner outside and

1440
01:16:35,160 --> 01:16:38,840
Speaker 1: all of that stuff. And um, we're sitting around and well,

1441
01:16:38,840 --> 01:16:40,960
Speaker 1: all right, cly, so let's let's start moving again, and

1442
01:16:41,160 --> 01:16:43,320
Speaker 1: we're like, it's gonna be impossible. It's like nothing that

1443
01:16:43,400 --> 01:16:45,679
Speaker 1: we can do. What are we gonna be able to do?

1444
01:16:46,320 --> 01:16:48,200
Speaker 1: We're gonna have to wait till after this is over

1445
01:16:49,120 --> 01:16:52,320
Speaker 1: to sell anything and getting anything off the ground. So

1446
01:16:52,560 --> 01:16:56,680
Speaker 1: we're kicking things around. Treville comes with this idea, and

1447
01:16:56,720 --> 01:17:01,280
Speaker 1: the idea was the uh only idea that would become

1448
01:17:01,320 --> 01:17:06,400
Speaker 1: too disserent strangers. This is post George Floyd now, and

1449
01:17:06,760 --> 01:17:10,800
Speaker 1: the feeling that we're all feeling is because people we

1450
01:17:10,840 --> 01:17:13,400
Speaker 1: talked about George Floyd as if it exists in the vacuum.

1451
01:17:13,400 --> 01:17:16,280
Speaker 1: It didn't. It was I'm are our very George Floyd,

1452
01:17:16,320 --> 01:17:22,240
Speaker 1: Brianna Taylor, like all happening together, not time wise, but

1453
01:17:22,280 --> 01:17:24,920
Speaker 1: we were all learning about them at the same time.

1454
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:26,920
Speaker 1: It was like this huge thing to where we've been

1455
01:17:26,960 --> 01:17:29,000
Speaker 1: in cide for so along. Our brains are gonna fucking

1456
01:17:29,040 --> 01:17:32,360
Speaker 1: explode with everything that's going wrong right now for America

1457
01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:35,960
Speaker 1: but specifically for Black Americans. And so he comes with

1458
01:17:35,960 --> 01:17:38,559
Speaker 1: this idea and he goes, when we come out of pandemic,

1459
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:39,720
Speaker 1: this is what we should do. And I was like,

1460
01:17:39,800 --> 01:17:43,360
Speaker 1: now we gotta do it now. It's like what and

1461
01:17:43,439 --> 01:17:45,760
Speaker 1: I have to be honest about this. The reason why

1462
01:17:45,840 --> 01:17:47,839
Speaker 1: we all decided to do it now was two reasons.

1463
01:17:47,920 --> 01:17:51,439
Speaker 1: Number One, we knew that in the climate that we

1464
01:17:51,439 --> 01:17:55,839
Speaker 1: were in, that we could get this to the finish

1465
01:17:55,920 --> 01:17:59,920
Speaker 1: line and get it like and and because there weren't

1466
01:18:00,120 --> 01:18:05,120
Speaker 1: many productions and and get significant buzz based upon the

1467
01:18:05,160 --> 01:18:08,599
Speaker 1: social the moment that we were in, in the climate

1468
01:18:08,640 --> 01:18:11,240
Speaker 1: that we were in, right, if we execute it, I

1469
01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:13,880
Speaker 1: knew we could win an Oscar. That's why that that's

1470
01:18:13,880 --> 01:18:15,960
Speaker 1: why that you thought you could win an Oscar with

1471
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:19,920
Speaker 1: the short Go back and look at the text that

1472
01:18:19,960 --> 01:18:26,040
Speaker 1: I said, that's it, I said, Bosamba, Like you didn't

1473
01:18:26,040 --> 01:18:31,720
Speaker 1: say Oscar on there, it said Oscar Bosama who we who?

1474
01:18:31,720 --> 01:18:34,040
Speaker 1: By the way, this is a great pal to have

1475
01:18:34,240 --> 01:18:37,240
Speaker 1: in l A. She is amazing And I was trying

1476
01:18:37,240 --> 01:18:39,840
Speaker 1: to get her to have them buy it or or

1477
01:18:39,880 --> 01:18:42,120
Speaker 1: help us, but she couldn't. She couldn't even she couldn't

1478
01:18:42,120 --> 01:18:47,080
Speaker 1: even read the script. Uh she because it was unsolicited material.

1479
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:50,080
Speaker 1: And she was very professional about it. But was somebody

1480
01:18:50,120 --> 01:18:52,920
Speaker 1: who helped us all throughout the way in terms of

1481
01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:56,160
Speaker 1: coming to screenings, in terms of being just an amazing

1482
01:18:56,600 --> 01:19:03,599
Speaker 1: human being, right, an amazing me so so I told

1483
01:19:03,600 --> 01:19:05,200
Speaker 1: her not said We're gonna win a copemy war for this.

1484
01:19:05,560 --> 01:19:07,240
Speaker 1: I said it right then, now that day have been

1485
01:19:07,240 --> 01:19:09,599
Speaker 1: shooted like like not they have been shot said we're

1486
01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:12,439
Speaker 1: gonna win Academy war for this. So we do it,

1487
01:19:12,760 --> 01:19:16,400
Speaker 1: we execute, we get the award, and the night of

1488
01:19:16,520 --> 01:19:19,840
Speaker 1: standing there being in the room with Jesse Williams, great

1489
01:19:19,880 --> 01:19:24,920
Speaker 1: friend Puff was on that with us, Kevin Durant, that's

1490
01:19:24,960 --> 01:19:27,400
Speaker 1: my guy, don't keep key. I like it was I

1491
01:19:27,479 --> 01:19:31,439
Speaker 1: not supposed to say what I was supposed to say, Mike,

1492
01:19:31,600 --> 01:19:36,040
Speaker 1: Mike Conley, Kevin Durant, Rich Climbing, everybody that came together

1493
01:19:36,080 --> 01:19:39,880
Speaker 1: to make it. It was just like, man, Carrie, it

1494
01:19:39,960 --> 01:19:41,639
Speaker 1: was like we just said, fuck it, let's do it.

1495
01:19:42,479 --> 01:19:45,000
Speaker 1: Shout to everybody's a right, Rogers and Colin Craig, everyone.

1496
01:19:45,040 --> 01:19:46,640
Speaker 1: This is like we said it, let's do it, and

1497
01:19:46,680 --> 01:19:48,920
Speaker 1: we did it, and we we we did it. And

1498
01:19:49,960 --> 01:19:55,360
Speaker 1: the thing about holding the oscar was the whole entire

1499
01:19:55,479 --> 01:20:00,799
Speaker 1: time I was at TMC. I enjoyed being on television.

1500
01:20:00,800 --> 01:20:05,639
Speaker 1: I enjoyed my co workers immensely, right, and so it's

1501
01:20:05,680 --> 01:20:09,120
Speaker 1: not like I hate it, but it wasn't inspiring. It

1502
01:20:09,280 --> 01:20:11,719
Speaker 1: wasn't anything that I thought, look what we fucking did,

1503
01:20:13,040 --> 01:20:16,680
Speaker 1: And that feeling, if you ever have that feeling, if

1504
01:20:16,720 --> 01:20:19,040
Speaker 1: you ever have that feeling, look what we fucking did,

1505
01:20:19,120 --> 01:20:23,360
Speaker 1: not me, we look what we fucking did. If you

1506
01:20:23,400 --> 01:20:26,760
Speaker 1: ever have that feeling, it's just amazing. And sitting there

1507
01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:29,439
Speaker 1: like looking at that when they called our name out, Kalikas,

1508
01:20:29,479 --> 01:20:33,240
Speaker 1: They're like, we're we're all together. I just I couldn't

1509
01:20:33,240 --> 01:20:37,439
Speaker 1: believe that actually happened. I couldn't believe that it happened.

1510
01:20:39,439 --> 01:20:41,960
Speaker 1: You just gave me a whole entire sermon, and what

1511
01:20:42,040 --> 01:20:44,240
Speaker 1: you just said is so real and I can relate

1512
01:20:44,240 --> 01:20:47,040
Speaker 1: to it on every single level. It's fine, it's all great,

1513
01:20:47,080 --> 01:20:49,439
Speaker 1: But what am I doing to really make change? And

1514
01:20:49,479 --> 01:20:52,479
Speaker 1: then you get this great project done? And it was

1515
01:20:52,520 --> 01:20:55,760
Speaker 1: beautiful and the genius of the casting, like I really

1516
01:20:55,760 --> 01:20:58,200
Speaker 1: didn't know Joey had that in him, that skill set,

1517
01:20:58,400 --> 01:21:02,240
Speaker 1: like it was I I was today years old. I

1518
01:21:02,280 --> 01:21:04,559
Speaker 1: was just like, this was special. It was really special.

1519
01:21:05,080 --> 01:21:08,639
Speaker 1: And I and and and I don't know. I think

1520
01:21:08,640 --> 01:21:10,960
Speaker 1: that's a great way to end because you knew that, Yes,

1521
01:21:11,240 --> 01:21:13,160
Speaker 1: while you may have had that one platform at a

1522
01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:15,280
Speaker 1: point where it seemed like it was all end all,

1523
01:21:15,360 --> 01:21:17,880
Speaker 1: it wasn't inspiring, and you're and you change your lives

1524
01:21:17,920 --> 01:21:19,720
Speaker 1: like you really are in opinions and you're a part

1525
01:21:19,720 --> 01:21:22,240
Speaker 1: of the culture. And I like you describing yourself as

1526
01:21:22,240 --> 01:21:25,360
Speaker 1: a popular contributor. You're that popular friend, popular tributer, You're

1527
01:21:25,360 --> 01:21:28,000
Speaker 1: the popular friend. I think. I think that's I think

1528
01:21:28,040 --> 01:21:30,120
Speaker 1: that's fair. And you're right about living in l A.

1529
01:21:30,479 --> 01:21:33,280
Speaker 1: We just were like, okay, got it. Like, if anything,

1530
01:21:33,439 --> 01:21:35,439
Speaker 1: we're not trying to be in the scene and be seen.

1531
01:21:35,720 --> 01:21:37,240
Speaker 1: I see you a few times. I don't be in

1532
01:21:37,280 --> 01:21:43,439
Speaker 1: the scene at all. People from here are legitimately the

1533
01:21:43,560 --> 01:21:47,720
Speaker 1: least Hollywood people that you will ever meet. It's so

1534
01:21:47,920 --> 01:21:51,680
Speaker 1: weird people who are from here. I'm telling you, y'all

1535
01:21:51,720 --> 01:21:53,400
Speaker 1: talking about l A people. You'll never been to the

1536
01:21:53,400 --> 01:21:56,040
Speaker 1: g S. I don't go. I've never been to the

1537
01:21:57,200 --> 01:21:59,960
Speaker 1: You've never been to the g S. I got, I got,

1538
01:22:00,000 --> 01:22:01,880
Speaker 1: I got, I appreciate. I gotta ask you one thing

1539
01:22:01,920 --> 01:22:04,640
Speaker 1: before I go, because you because let's talk. Yeah, if

1540
01:22:04,640 --> 01:22:07,479
Speaker 1: you want to talk sports, I literally manopulous. I literally

1541
01:22:07,479 --> 01:22:09,120
Speaker 1: only do like forty five minutes an hour. I took

1542
01:22:09,120 --> 01:22:11,560
Speaker 1: twenty five extra minutes because we got into this conversation.

1543
01:22:11,920 --> 01:22:15,360
Speaker 1: Sorry about that. Whatever if you want to talk sports

1544
01:22:14,880 --> 01:22:19,160
Speaker 1: one thing about you. Yes, well you'all gonna we're all

1545
01:22:19,160 --> 01:22:23,600
Speaker 1: gonna kick the bucket on the chickeny thing. Oh gosh,

1546
01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:27,000
Speaker 1: I I listen, and I'm bold about this too. The

1547
01:22:27,680 --> 01:22:29,800
Speaker 1: never wants to hear it. I've told the ad over

1548
01:22:29,800 --> 01:22:31,479
Speaker 1: and over again. I was like, he's not the man,

1549
01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:34,559
Speaker 1: he's not smart, He's had his moment. It's coming. Gone

1550
01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:36,960
Speaker 1: go get a real, like a hard nose SEC coach

1551
01:22:37,000 --> 01:22:38,760
Speaker 1: and offer him a ton of money. I was like,

1552
01:22:38,840 --> 01:22:42,479
Speaker 1: because I honestly believe the division is weak. They're losing.

1553
01:22:42,520 --> 01:22:45,040
Speaker 1: They losing transfer I mean literally, people are transferring all

1554
01:22:45,040 --> 01:22:46,840
Speaker 1: the time because they don't fool with Chip. Chip is

1555
01:22:46,880 --> 01:22:52,439
Speaker 1: always the smartest man in the room. Why they're gonna

1556
01:22:52,439 --> 01:22:55,720
Speaker 1: win a division this year? Oh yes, okay, you don't

1557
01:22:55,760 --> 01:22:57,559
Speaker 1: mean like a national champ? No, no, no, no, no, no.

1558
01:22:57,600 --> 01:23:01,519
Speaker 1: I think. I think. I think is a live to

1559
01:23:01,600 --> 01:23:06,360
Speaker 1: win the division issue. I will If they don't, it

1560
01:23:06,439 --> 01:23:08,840
Speaker 1: will speak more about who the coaches and then and

1561
01:23:08,880 --> 01:23:10,960
Speaker 1: then who the players are. You know what I mean?

1562
01:23:10,960 --> 01:23:14,120
Speaker 1: Because in this city where everyone wants to stay in

1563
01:23:14,240 --> 01:23:15,720
Speaker 1: l A or at least come to l A and

1564
01:23:15,760 --> 01:23:20,960
Speaker 1: be famous, people understand people understand that what it means

1565
01:23:20,960 --> 01:23:23,240
Speaker 1: to play here, So I I here's here's the point

1566
01:23:23,720 --> 01:23:25,680
Speaker 1: all the time when when the Lakers are looking for

1567
01:23:25,720 --> 01:23:27,880
Speaker 1: a head coach, they're also looking for somebody who could

1568
01:23:27,880 --> 01:23:29,840
Speaker 1: step out of mastros and be like, I'm with my boo.

1569
01:23:30,320 --> 01:23:33,120
Speaker 1: They're looking for the slick ship right there always, but

1570
01:23:33,680 --> 01:23:36,160
Speaker 1: they took a page from M cronin, who isn't slick?

1571
01:23:36,280 --> 01:23:38,280
Speaker 1: Just hard nos put my head down. I'm this big

1572
01:23:38,360 --> 01:23:40,320
Speaker 1: as a head coach for U c l A. And

1573
01:23:40,320 --> 01:23:42,120
Speaker 1: I'm about winning. I don't care about any of the

1574
01:23:42,160 --> 01:23:44,280
Speaker 1: other ship, which is why the players have done so

1575
01:23:44,360 --> 01:23:47,960
Speaker 1: well getting them over, getting them like minded, the mentality

1576
01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:50,200
Speaker 1: and not being pretty. To win is something totally different,

1577
01:23:50,240 --> 01:23:52,360
Speaker 1: like to go for the kill shot, like go take

1578
01:23:52,439 --> 01:23:55,200
Speaker 1: the game, go take the game, like a lot of

1579
01:23:55,200 --> 01:23:57,720
Speaker 1: the guys that we recruit are do have this this

1580
01:23:57,920 --> 01:24:02,080
Speaker 1: Hollywood sensibility, and sometimes it's been given to them. They're not.

1581
01:24:03,040 --> 01:24:04,840
Speaker 1: I didn't grow up in Baton Rouge. I didn't have

1582
01:24:04,880 --> 01:24:06,679
Speaker 1: to fight for what I had to eat, like we don't.

1583
01:24:06,920 --> 01:24:08,599
Speaker 1: These guys we get a lot of these guys are

1584
01:24:08,640 --> 01:24:10,320
Speaker 1: privileged that we get to play on the team, like

1585
01:24:10,320 --> 01:24:13,400
Speaker 1: they grew up differently and so sometimes, as you would say,

1586
01:24:13,400 --> 01:24:14,960
Speaker 1: you need a goon, and we need a couple of

1587
01:24:14,960 --> 01:24:18,320
Speaker 1: really just good goons on both basketball and football, Mick

1588
01:24:18,400 --> 01:24:21,680
Speaker 1: has been able to try to implement that. I'm not

1589
01:24:21,760 --> 01:24:23,160
Speaker 1: a fan ofher. I just not a fan of ch

1590
01:24:23,200 --> 01:24:24,880
Speaker 1: of Kelly. I worked with him a few times. I

1591
01:24:24,880 --> 01:24:26,599
Speaker 1: don't believe him. I don't even know if he believes

1592
01:24:26,640 --> 01:24:34,640
Speaker 1: himself and he is, he is one affected by Hollywood.

1593
01:24:35,439 --> 01:24:37,120
Speaker 1: You watched some of these coaches that come here. They

1594
01:24:37,160 --> 01:24:39,760
Speaker 1: are affected. They get here and they get lost and

1595
01:24:39,800 --> 01:24:50,479
Speaker 1: they want to be famous. Right that were you there?

1596
01:24:50,520 --> 01:24:55,280
Speaker 1: Did you go? Rachel was there? Me? Rachel Kalka and

1597
01:24:55,360 --> 01:25:00,559
Speaker 1: Brian we went. I was there over us, like very

1598
01:25:00,600 --> 01:25:04,160
Speaker 1: they looked. I look, you were like, they're gonna take

1599
01:25:04,200 --> 01:25:07,280
Speaker 1: it all. He was ready. I wanted them too, because

1600
01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:11,400
Speaker 1: I wanted to believe. Yeah, well I wanted us to believe.

1601
01:25:11,439 --> 01:25:14,639
Speaker 1: But so look, I I thought it was very interesting

1602
01:25:14,680 --> 01:25:16,360
Speaker 1: when they hired him. So I always talked to U

1603
01:25:16,400 --> 01:25:18,040
Speaker 1: c l A people about U c l A sports

1604
01:25:18,080 --> 01:25:22,679
Speaker 1: because I don't understand like U c l A obviously

1605
01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:26,439
Speaker 1: dominant in basketball, and it really really in many sports, right,

1606
01:25:26,760 --> 01:25:30,559
Speaker 1: they went on in many sports, in many sports. Yes,

1607
01:25:30,640 --> 01:25:35,559
Speaker 1: in many sports. I think I do believe that it's

1608
01:25:35,600 --> 01:25:37,439
Speaker 1: hard to obviously live up to the wizard, So make

1609
01:25:37,479 --> 01:25:39,719
Speaker 1: his good. No one's ever going to be John Wooden

1610
01:25:39,760 --> 01:25:41,439
Speaker 1: and the and and in the in the script is

1611
01:25:41,479 --> 01:25:42,880
Speaker 1: get here and win. We're gonna give you a couple

1612
01:25:42,880 --> 01:25:44,360
Speaker 1: of years, but get here and where you can't just

1613
01:25:44,360 --> 01:25:47,080
Speaker 1: make it to the final four, that's fine, keep doing it,

1614
01:25:47,080 --> 01:25:48,840
Speaker 1: make it to the championship, Greg, but did you win?

1615
01:25:49,400 --> 01:25:51,120
Speaker 1: And obviously the last time they had a chip was

1616
01:25:51,400 --> 01:25:56,960
Speaker 1: ninety three nine four with tyas Eddy remember Cameron Dollar

1617
01:25:57,040 --> 01:26:06,200
Speaker 1: Ties Eddy nal band Man. Toby Bailey is an agent now,

1618
01:26:06,720 --> 01:26:11,040
Speaker 1: but yeah he's a sports agent. But I I my school.

1619
01:26:11,040 --> 01:26:12,840
Speaker 1: It's different and I and I respect, but it's a

1620
01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:14,240
Speaker 1: lot of money, and it's a lot and it's a

1621
01:26:14,240 --> 01:26:16,160
Speaker 1: lot of politics. You talk about a school like that,

1622
01:26:16,240 --> 01:26:18,040
Speaker 1: it's a lot of politics and you know that. But

1623
01:26:18,040 --> 01:26:20,479
Speaker 1: it would be nice if they spent some major bread

1624
01:26:20,520 --> 01:26:23,519
Speaker 1: on somebody who recruited a bunch of like, we need

1625
01:26:23,560 --> 01:26:25,879
Speaker 1: a few goons, we just need, if not a handful,

1626
01:26:26,360 --> 01:26:29,320
Speaker 1: I think the we don't need the you know all

1627
01:26:29,360 --> 01:26:33,519
Speaker 1: the popular stars sons playing there. You know, oh you

1628
01:26:33,560 --> 01:26:35,840
Speaker 1: also know who's on that championship team, and that you

1629
01:26:35,880 --> 01:26:38,160
Speaker 1: just mentioned in ninety four Bob Myers, who is now

1630
01:26:38,200 --> 01:26:41,280
Speaker 1: the GM and president of the Golden State Warrior. He

1631
01:26:41,360 --> 01:26:44,439
Speaker 1: never played. He never played, not well, he got in

1632
01:26:44,479 --> 01:26:47,080
Speaker 1: a like trash minutes. Obviously he played trash minutes. But

1633
01:26:47,120 --> 01:26:50,200
Speaker 1: look at that. His career is arguably more successful than

1634
01:26:50,280 --> 01:26:53,800
Speaker 1: one Toby Bailey's or Chris Johnson, Like I go down

1635
01:26:53,840 --> 01:26:55,880
Speaker 1: the list. Can you believe that in that crazy isn't

1636
01:26:55,880 --> 01:26:59,280
Speaker 1: I always looked at him like he was he was

1637
01:26:59,360 --> 01:27:02,920
Speaker 1: really in for like a GM dude, but like and

1638
01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:10,160
Speaker 1: super tall. Okay, I just want it's interesting. Okay, So

1639
01:27:10,240 --> 01:27:12,240
Speaker 1: I adore you. Thank you for giving me more time

1640
01:27:12,240 --> 01:27:14,240
Speaker 1: than you should have. You guys, gone and get this book.

1641
01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:16,680
Speaker 1: I really I I And I'm not just saying that.

1642
01:27:16,720 --> 01:27:19,680
Speaker 1: I'm fascinated with your intellect and I love your perspective.

1643
01:27:19,840 --> 01:27:22,720
Speaker 1: Fat crazy entire Van lath Than in the house, not

1644
01:27:22,800 --> 01:27:25,920
Speaker 1: to be confused with the other dude. Thank you so much.

1645
01:27:27,640 --> 01:27:30,559
Speaker 1: So um, I hope you all enjoyed Van. He I mean,

1646
01:27:30,600 --> 01:27:33,400
Speaker 1: he really it's interesting. I have a lot of people

1647
01:27:33,439 --> 01:27:35,720
Speaker 1: in my life that I think that can go to

1648
01:27:35,880 --> 01:27:38,120
Speaker 1: level to level to level, and it's not about who's

1649
01:27:38,120 --> 01:27:40,680
Speaker 1: the smartest person in the room, although sometimes it is,

1650
01:27:41,040 --> 01:27:43,920
Speaker 1: but it is the art of understanding what you're feeling

1651
01:27:43,920 --> 01:27:46,000
Speaker 1: and being able to express your thoughts and opinions and

1652
01:27:46,040 --> 01:27:48,639
Speaker 1: a very well crafted way. And sometimes when you express

1653
01:27:48,680 --> 01:27:52,479
Speaker 1: your thoughts and opinions that offends people. But Van has

1654
01:27:52,479 --> 01:27:57,080
Speaker 1: a way of being not necessarily neutral but not necessarily offensive.

1655
01:27:57,120 --> 01:27:59,479
Speaker 1: It's just the truth. And if you follow him on

1656
01:27:59,479 --> 01:28:01,640
Speaker 1: social which I think you do, it's funny. If you

1657
01:28:01,680 --> 01:28:05,720
Speaker 1: read his book, it's funny. You know what Charlemagne told

1658
01:28:05,720 --> 01:28:09,360
Speaker 1: me this. They're really good friends, so it's it's a propos.

1659
01:28:09,479 --> 01:28:12,800
Speaker 1: He says one day, we're just laughing about something that

1660
01:28:12,920 --> 01:28:15,960
Speaker 1: was very sad in the culture. He said, Black folks

1661
01:28:15,960 --> 01:28:18,120
Speaker 1: know how to do trauma better than anybody else, meaning

1662
01:28:18,640 --> 01:28:21,200
Speaker 1: we really know how to laugh at our pain. Uh.

1663
01:28:21,200 --> 01:28:24,280
Speaker 1: And that is why I think this book is fascinating.

1664
01:28:24,360 --> 01:28:27,360
Speaker 1: And I think that Van being very honest about something

1665
01:28:27,400 --> 01:28:29,000
Speaker 1: I don't hear a lot of men being honest about

1666
01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:32,599
Speaker 1: a special especially black men. Get the book. It's really

1667
01:28:32,640 --> 01:28:34,880
Speaker 1: something that we all should have, that we should be

1668
01:28:34,920 --> 01:28:36,680
Speaker 1: reading as women, that we should be reading as men,

1669
01:28:36,720 --> 01:28:40,320
Speaker 1: and that we should be telling other people about and

1670
01:28:41,200 --> 01:28:47,160
Speaker 1: at this moment. I'm pretty tired. I've been overseas without

1671
01:28:47,160 --> 01:28:49,000
Speaker 1: my luggage, but I ain't complaining. Don't fool with Air

1672
01:28:49,040 --> 01:28:52,400
Speaker 1: France and fool with Air France. Don't fool with Air France.

1673
01:28:52,479 --> 01:28:58,360
Speaker 1: If you want your luggage, I got mine though, just

1674
01:28:58,439 --> 01:29:01,000
Speaker 1: the last day of my trip. I gonna stop complaining though.

1675
01:29:02,439 --> 01:29:07,280
Speaker 1: Stay positive, Carrie. Talk to you guys next week. Bye

1676
01:29:09,240 --> 01:29:13,320
Speaker 1: m HM.