Speaker 1: You know, we haven't said in a while. Scar and
Speaker 1: Brodie audience up. Start up boy, you got me there?
Speaker 1: Start up boys, that dot up They makeing noise that
Speaker 1: start up Thursday, Dot Up Episode seventy two. Are you
Speaker 1: sure this is the Brooklyn Boys podcast? It is, that's us.
Speaker 1: You have a little chocolate around in your mouth like Joe.
Speaker 1: You're eating like a fiend. This place is not right. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean I thought that in January people do their fitness,
Speaker 1: their dry January and then everyone's, ah, I have no
Speaker 1: more carms. I'm cutting everything out. Okay, I mean no,
Speaker 1: not now they are they listen you know that. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm working with noon. I'm following the program. You really
Speaker 1: are there, you're looking great, thank you. But here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I'm allowed to have a strawberry chocolate covered strawberry, so
Speaker 1: you're allowed. So you know, it's it's not a lifestyle change.
Speaker 1: You're going through a lifestyle change and that's fine. But
Speaker 1: what and and this is not a commercial, No, it's not.
Speaker 1: I'm just telling you that with NOM you can eat
Speaker 1: in moderation and you change the way you eat. And
Speaker 1: I'm working on that. Well, I like the way you
Speaker 1: ate that chocolate coverage Trump. It did broke apart in
Speaker 1: my hand I had to do. I didn't have to
Speaker 1: do a face shove. I'm not gonna lie. I could
Speaker 1: go for a chocolate covered right now, but I'm not.
Speaker 1: You can you cannot do it. No. Um, since we
Speaker 1: last met, we've been what would have you been doing?
Speaker 1: You and you and I are the people who are
Speaker 1: slices who are listening. Well, the super Bowl happened, since
Speaker 1: you know help, But that was, by the way, any
Speaker 1: predictions I made on the last episode ignore. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh what I say, like, yeah, terrible. We were way off.
Speaker 1: I think Uh. I had either team making more points,
Speaker 1: scoring more points than the two teams actually scored combined.
Speaker 1: It's safe to say the over didn't hit if you
Speaker 1: took the under. Yeah, thirteen to three was the final score.
Speaker 1: And um, I was part of a huge Super Bowl box,
Speaker 1: like a score change box meeting. Every time the score changed,
Speaker 1: someone got paid. Yeah. That that was not good for
Speaker 1: people in score change boxes. Uh. That the way that
Speaker 1: game went because it the score didn't change very much
Speaker 1: and whoever had three three ended up with that. But
Speaker 1: that's a great box three three If you have three
Speaker 1: three as a box. But that person cleaned up. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But but when Greg's Airline was going to kick that
Speaker 1: field goal at the end, make it thirteen six, that
Speaker 1: would have changed things for everybody, Like that really would
Speaker 1: have been But all right, well so yeah, it's I
Speaker 1: also left everyone with a cliffhanger last time before. You
Speaker 1: just want to say one thing, sorry, you can say
Speaker 1: And I tweet this every year the second the Super
Speaker 1: Bowl is over, it's baseball season. Oh yeah for me,
Speaker 1: like I can almost smell the grass already. When when
Speaker 1: for pitchers and catchers? How many days the Monday? I
Speaker 1: think eleven or twelve depends on the team. Summer eleven,
Speaker 1: summer twelve, doesn't matter. The point is you're baseball fan,
Speaker 1: and I am. I am crazy You're you're like baseball.
Speaker 1: I'm surprised, but I know people like both baseball hockey.
Speaker 1: That's your thing. That's great for me, it's base I'm
Speaker 1: surprised you never went to baseball camp. I have a
Speaker 1: friend and I think you would like sleep away or
Speaker 1: like like that, playing with the vets, playing with the veterans,
Speaker 1: you know, like fantasy camp. Yeah, a buttery of ours
Speaker 1: is went to the Mets the New York Mets fantasy camp,
Speaker 1: and he looked like he had a ball playing with
Speaker 1: veteran players from like the eighties six series World Series.
Speaker 1: My friend Jeff, not my friends Jeff that we've talked
Speaker 1: about in this podcast. The high school friend Jeff was
Speaker 1: a friend he did that got his uniform with his
Speaker 1: name on the back. That seems like it's all you.
Speaker 1: It seems like you would be all about that life.
Speaker 1: Not really maybe, But you know what, First of all,
Speaker 1: it's very expensive and the Mets have not going. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a little expensive to say the least. Also,
Speaker 1: it's never been when we were on vacation, so I
Speaker 1: was never able to go and afford it and all that.
Speaker 1: But listen, we've gotten to do some things, and we've
Speaker 1: done some charity softball game. We've played with John Franco,
Speaker 1: who is one of the best left handed relief pitches
Speaker 1: of all time. Arguably don't not a big enough, not
Speaker 1: not big enough for us as far as uh, you know,
Speaker 1: big enough like thrill because we were used to these
Speaker 1: things every day. We're kind of our buddy Nelson Figaro
Speaker 1: used to was pitched for like seven or eight teams
Speaker 1: Mets Phillies. I've had a catch with him, you know,
Speaker 1: we got to play softball with him. Uh No, it
Speaker 1: would be a big thrill to do the fantasy camp right,
Speaker 1: it is very up my alley. You would not want
Speaker 1: to do that because you don't really like being in
Speaker 1: the field. You're a hitter, but that's it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: get hit, Yeah, and then I want to miss the
Speaker 1: line drive. If someone could pinch run the first for you,
Speaker 1: that'd be great. And yeah, you're a bad in cage guy.
Speaker 1: And then I'm at the bar, right, Yeah, bad in cage.
Speaker 1: I've done this. If you d h and no run,
Speaker 1: that'd be you. That's my problem is I I have
Speaker 1: a short attention span. It's like I don't want to
Speaker 1: I'm done with this. What's the next I hit the ball?
Speaker 1: I gotta go. There's a there's a party somewhere. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if they're you know what I think if they by
Speaker 1: first base, if they put a table with all service,
Speaker 1: like where the first base coach stands, you would run
Speaker 1: your ass down there. Yeah. And then you have the
Speaker 1: girls with the sparklers by second you might get a
Speaker 1: double ID love that. That would be great. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: can see that What would you have to put a
Speaker 1: third third base like an ice sculpture with the liquor
Speaker 1: flowing through the ice sulpture. Yeah, and I have to
Speaker 1: put your mouth on the mouth on the bottom of it,
Speaker 1: and the eyes the liquor dribbles down. Yeah. I remember
Speaker 1: you did it with apple Tine's once and you were
Speaker 1: drunk after five minutes. What would make me slide first
Speaker 1: into home? Chicken palm, Yeah, just a great meal, good
Speaker 1: Italian food, blood, bad blood. People keep asking I got
Speaker 1: I got a tweak today about it. We're gonna, you
Speaker 1: know what on a text. I'm gonna make another attempt
Speaker 1: to take you a steak dinner, but I'm afraid it's
Speaker 1: gonna be free, and then you're not. You're gonna say
Speaker 1: it doesn't know. Can you say we call a truce
Speaker 1: on this the next steak dinner I take you to,
Speaker 1: whether it's free or no. You have to I suffered
Speaker 1: career wise for your thing. You You have to have
Speaker 1: some penalty, So I know the penalty is going to
Speaker 1: do with me. I know. Uh, speaking of which, uh,
Speaker 1: you were about to say something that we was a cliffhanger.
Speaker 1: So I do want to talk about how you sort
Speaker 1: of asked me this week, but go on, you go first. Well,
Speaker 1: last week, at the end of the podcast, I said,
Speaker 1: I mentioned that I did something that behind everyone's back
Speaker 1: and everyone's back, that nobody knew about, and even the
Speaker 1: person who I did it too doesn't know. But I
Speaker 1: guess I'm gonna reveal it here supposed to reveal it's
Speaker 1: not you. If you remember a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 1: I last week I hooked our our girl Gandhi up.
Speaker 1: Gandhi's a co host on the Big Show Elvis Rancho,
Speaker 1: and she needed a table in the worst way to
Speaker 1: a specific steakhouse. Yes, she needed a table so she
Speaker 1: couldn't get into this place. So I made a phone
Speaker 1: call for her because she she came to me and said, scary,
Speaker 1: you gotta help me get into the steakhouse. Your Mr Mayor,
Speaker 1: you know everybody you see and I don't, by the way,
Speaker 1: but I wanted. I didn't want to strike out, So
Speaker 1: I felt like there was this obligation the war Way
Speaker 1: to the World was on my show, that you needed
Speaker 1: to show off to Gandhi that you are the man
Speaker 1: people say you are right, Because she I didn't be
Speaker 1: honest out of a hundred. What percentage was you trying
Speaker 1: to do something nice for a friend and what percentage
Speaker 1: was you trying to keep your image going and not
Speaker 1: look like a failure. Maybe combination of both. It could.
Speaker 1: I think I think more people are motivated that way too.
Speaker 1: They have to save face, let me face the image,
Speaker 1: let me face the question. Had the guy said no,
Speaker 1: I couldn't get you a table, would you be more
Speaker 1: upset for horror not getting a table or more upset
Speaker 1: for you that should be a little but hurt. I'd
Speaker 1: be upset. Then I'm like, wait a second, where's the
Speaker 1: respect for me? So I hold on? Speaking of butt
Speaker 1: hurt my coach Jamie on our Walkers and Talkers podcast.
Speaker 1: By the way, I don't know when you can listen
Speaker 1: to this podcast, but February ten is the return of
Speaker 1: the Walking Down. So on our last episode, which was
Speaker 1: like one thirty two, maybe I don't know. I think
Speaker 1: it's more than the last episode was. We recorded it
Speaker 1: first week of February. Um, she told us how she
Speaker 1: ripped her ass. She ripped ask like, like, well, she
Speaker 1: she legitimately injured her ass. She said, I ripped my my,
Speaker 1: my ass. How do you rip an ask? Well, listen
Speaker 1: to the Walkers and Talking to split it in half.
Speaker 1: It's already in half. Well I didn't say she cracked it.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you the episode number, because it's a
Speaker 1: great story and I had a lot of fun with
Speaker 1: you know, innuendos not in her endos. Innuendos. You want
Speaker 1: to listen episode one thirty four of Walkers and Talkers
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your podcasts anyway, So speaking, so okay,
Speaker 1: so as I'm saying, who said you said? And I
Speaker 1: would have felt but her if they would have turned
Speaker 1: me down for the table, because because I really wanted
Speaker 1: it is more. It is more about you. So I
Speaker 1: just went right to it and I just hit the
Speaker 1: target and I said, listen, um, I need a table
Speaker 1: doing that. I need a table for you know, one
Speaker 1: of the new co hosts of our show, Elvis Rancho Um.
Speaker 1: Just so you know, you know, her name is Gandhi.
Speaker 1: She's the great. She's the great granddaughter of Mahatma Gandhi.
Speaker 1: I think it's great, great, great she's and by the way,
Speaker 1: that's true story, that's fact. She's she is. She is
Speaker 1: the direct bloodline father's father's father to Mahatma Gandhi Maida Gandhi.
Speaker 1: Gandhi's her name boom So because I knew that just
Speaker 1: by pulling that card right away, pulled the Gandhi car,
Speaker 1: you pulled a historical figure. Yeah. Yeah, He's like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, we love to have her post her and
Speaker 1: her friends. So then she didn't even she should have
Speaker 1: said see who she was. She wouldn't have needed you,
Speaker 1: but I wanted to do it for her as a reinforcement.
Speaker 1: Now here's the You're a descendant of Anthony's five generations
Speaker 1: of Anthony, he thought, so. So she's still to this
Speaker 1: moment doesn't know that I played the Gandhi card. She
Speaker 1: thinks that I got into this restaurant. She could have
Speaker 1: played the Gandhi cause she could have done it, but
Speaker 1: I and what they're going hung a strike. Then she
Speaker 1: couldn't have dinner. No, but she tells me she's she
Speaker 1: thinks to this moment that it was a Scary Jones thing, like, oh,
Speaker 1: scary Jones, of course we've got a table for your friends. No,
Speaker 1: it was more like, by the way she's at at
Speaker 1: baby Hot Sauce on all social media, feel free to
Speaker 1: let her know. No, don't. Please, don't. This is a
Speaker 1: stickle between us. Let her hear the podcast. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: tell he'll listen to the podcast. Tell her to listen
Speaker 1: to episode seventy two, right, don't tell the way. I
Speaker 1: just say she has to listen. Send her a link
Speaker 1: if you want, make it easy for you. I don't
Speaker 1: care a little. Listen. Let her find it. And if you,
Speaker 1: by the way of your descendants of any other historical figures, uh,
Speaker 1: let us know. I'd like to know. Yeah that maybe
Speaker 1: scary can use that to get a table for him
Speaker 1: by saying he knows you a descendant of let's say,
Speaker 1: Abraham Lincoln. But people use all kinds of stuff to
Speaker 1: get in. Doctors use it. Hi, I'm a doctor. Can
Speaker 1: I get a table at this restaurant? Hi, I'm a surgeon? Um? Oh,
Speaker 1: we've an airline pilot here every day. Everybody uses their cloud.
Speaker 1: By the way, if you're a doctor, like a philosophy,
Speaker 1: you don't get a table, you'll be like you got
Speaker 1: the dr in front of No. No, no, because they
Speaker 1: reason they give you, they'll let you in there as
Speaker 1: a doctor, so that if somebody gets sick, right, no, God,
Speaker 1: from this you have like oh, you have elite people there.
Speaker 1: You have like a doctor a case of emergency. Anybody
Speaker 1: is there a philosopher in the house. Nobody does that.
Speaker 1: Anyone want to talk about the existential value of meat? No?
Speaker 1: Then why did doctors even get a preferential treatments? No,
Speaker 1: you're no, no, no, no. What about a dentist if
Speaker 1: you have a dds in front of your name, if
Speaker 1: you have someone chips at tooth, it happened. They all
Speaker 1: do it. Though. You don't have to be famous. I'm sorry, really, dentist,
Speaker 1: come on? No, but athletes, I understand why they got it.
Speaker 1: They want the publicity of having a famous person there.
Speaker 1: What if you work for the Board of Health? Definitely
Speaker 1: not for the Board of Health. You get the best table? No,
Speaker 1: you know, we're sorry, we're at a tables. If they
Speaker 1: don't come in, they can't rite, they can't rate you.
Speaker 1: I would think you wouldn't want to piste those people off. No,
Speaker 1: you're talk about food critics. The food critics get the
Speaker 1: best table. No. If a Board of Health guy comes
Speaker 1: in and is a hair on his plate your aft,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't mess with those people either way. They don't
Speaker 1: have a badge that's his Board of Health. But they do.
Speaker 1: They don't like, Hey, I want a table. I worked
Speaker 1: for the Board of Health. I've always wanted to say
Speaker 1: that I worked for a food critic, like there was
Speaker 1: that company Critical work for food critic company like Zagat.
Speaker 1: Zagat is a company that criticizes food. And they know
Speaker 1: that they critique food. They can criticize it. They criticize it.
Speaker 1: And by the way, it's all listener reviews. It's not yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, but you're hired by them to go in
Speaker 1: there to write for the survey. You're by the way,
Speaker 1: it is count It's not zagosk. It's the GAT. I
Speaker 1: don't even know if it exists anymore. It's the Maroon
Speaker 1: book which was later online by The Maroon book was
Speaker 1: not the boring band who player they halftime show? It
Speaker 1: was bought by Google. And then now I would have
Speaker 1: rather watched a Maroon book that the halftime show. It
Speaker 1: was Yeah, so it was as the GAT is a
Speaker 1: book that you look up a restaurant, it tells you
Speaker 1: a rating of on the Google sold it to infatuation.
Speaker 1: So now it's really screwed up. It's messed up. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm following this. I'm a foodie. But anyway, point is
Speaker 1: I would love to have been one of those people
Speaker 1: and then say, well you can't get me a table. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, we'll just so you know I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: criticizing your food one day. Give me the bad time slot. Okay.
Speaker 1: Someone has has told some kind of power trip. You
Speaker 1: need not mean that. Every I'm just you're not hearing
Speaker 1: me out. I hear you. Everybody, everybody needs to needs
Speaker 1: a leg up to beat the system. Haven't you ever
Speaker 1: had that in your life where you want to just
Speaker 1: beat the system? You want to just I'm laying a
Speaker 1: beat in the system. You want to play the car No, no,
Speaker 1: but you want to be able to play a card.
Speaker 1: Everyone has a card to play in life. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know what, you know, it's funny. So if
Speaker 1: we you guys have made fun of me for years
Speaker 1: for playing the Elvis Durrai. But here's the thing, when's
Speaker 1: my card? Whenever we go somewhere that's not show related,
Speaker 1: to a city that doesn't have our show on, that's
Speaker 1: a problem. That's a problem for you because they don't.
Speaker 1: When we went on the Norwegian Cruise Line ship Sponsor,
Speaker 1: we flew to Los Angeles, right, and then we we
Speaker 1: uh we uh we had to get on the ship
Speaker 1: and then we got off the shop. You know we
Speaker 1: what we we took a cruise to nowhere, right. We
Speaker 1: went out for a a couple of days, came back. So
Speaker 1: we spent like two days in Los Angeles. Well, the
Speaker 1: other straight morning show is not on in l A.
Speaker 1: And so we had to go to restaurants like normal people.
Speaker 1: But that's when you play the heart radio card because
Speaker 1: they have that long Yeah, you were like, oh, I
Speaker 1: work at Kiss FM. You can you tried that routine?
Speaker 1: You don't have a business card. That's his kiss in
Speaker 1: l A. I'm just but but it's not just about us.
Speaker 1: I'm saying that that everyone has to have something that
Speaker 1: gets them something else in their town. It could be
Speaker 1: you know, your job, your job, your profession, maybe your
Speaker 1: status in your little city. But your uncle is the
Speaker 1: is the is the sheriff, the mayor. You know, I
Speaker 1: know my cousin is mayor of this town. That's great. Listen,
Speaker 1: it gets you free ship, it gets you top priority
Speaker 1: wanted to be And I don't even want free stuff.
Speaker 1: I just want whoa whoa whoa. If we always want
Speaker 1: free Ship. I know I get that, but my main
Speaker 1: priority is just being you guys just want to be
Speaker 1: able to just sucking with the jingles lately. You didn't
Speaker 1: play my crib enthusiasm music last week, and now you're
Speaker 1: not playing free Ship for us. But we don't have
Speaker 1: anything to showcase. I'm just saying how we like free
Speaker 1: ship for us that we're talking about it. I said
Speaker 1: the words, and you're like, we played the jingle when
Speaker 1: we got free ship right. Nothing people, By the way,
Speaker 1: l J. L J is one of our listeners. Uh
Speaker 1: he claimed he sent me a shirt like three weeks ago.
Speaker 1: I still don't have it, LJ. What's up with either
Speaker 1: lying to me or you've got the address wrong? You
Speaker 1: for cock did something it alright, cocked it up? So
Speaker 1: anyway back to you, Brodie, you're scratching your head, you're
Speaker 1: scratching your temples, like yeah, I just I feel like, uh,
Speaker 1: I feel like Gandhi needs to know what you did.
Speaker 1: That's all. I just let's call her right now. You
Speaker 1: can tell her call us all right for yet about it.
Speaker 1: Don't tell her to listen to the podcast. We'll call
Speaker 1: her right after this. What are you doing over there, Brody,
Speaker 1: are you sick? You better not be getting sick. Oh,
Speaker 1: speaking of sick, we have an intern named Joe. Joe
Speaker 1: is like six seven irrelevant to the store, of course,
Speaker 1: you know, irrelevant. Oh yeah, you look, did you play basketball?
Speaker 1: You have to be that guy. I was that guy.
Speaker 1: Did you play basketball? Because he's tall? What do they
Speaker 1: ask short people if they ride off their jockeys? Did
Speaker 1: you guys ride your red horses? He's sick, you're catching
Speaker 1: what he has? No So he sick, text her to
Speaker 1: pick up her phone. Could be napping. Do you think
Speaker 1: she's sleeping? Joe sniffled right, and he's like ten feet
Speaker 1: away from gregg Te's desk, and he's like, I'm not
Speaker 1: getting six stair away from me. So then Joe walked
Speaker 1: over to him and he's like, hey man, I'm not sick.
Speaker 1: I just sniffled for a second. So he so Gregg
Speaker 1: he put down caution like police tape and split the
Speaker 1: room in half and said he can't cross that half
Speaker 1: of the right. Oh that is that what that caution
Speaker 1: tape was on the floor. But like, that's not that's
Speaker 1: not gonna prevent the germs from right. The germs don't
Speaker 1: caution tape. He's such an idiot. Did you text her?
Speaker 1: I texted her to pick up the phone. I told
Speaker 1: her it was us calling. Um. Yeah, we don't make
Speaker 1: edits to our podcast. That's why you're hearing all the
Speaker 1: raw stuff. You're hearing. Brody blows nose. We're real and
Speaker 1: me fumbling with the phones. Here comes, We're real. Are
Speaker 1: we gonna call your your girlfriend today? You know, not today,
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna call somebody. You have to call somebody.
Speaker 1: She's sleeping. We'll get it later. What was she went vegetarian?
Speaker 1: You know? Um? You know that right? She she went vegetarian?
Speaker 1: Well she turned she's you know she turned it turned? Yeah, people,
Speaker 1: that turned vegetarian. What's her reason for that? No, she's
Speaker 1: apparently sympathetic animals all of a sudden. Oh man, But
Speaker 1: like our whole life. I understand. I know in her religion,
Speaker 1: aren't they cows are sacred. She's in the end. I
Speaker 1: understand that. But that's but she's not even other me too?
Speaker 1: What do you mean that follow up? She will be
Speaker 1: this weekend? Oh, because her boyfriend's going away to the navy.
Speaker 1: One last hurrah Man. She is avoiding us like the
Speaker 1: plague I think she knows that she's not. She doesn't
Speaker 1: trust us. Oh man, I hate this new phone system
Speaker 1: cannot be completed? What am I calling? Peter Lugers? Yeah,
Speaker 1: your number number can't? Things? Are happy about it? All right? Um?
Speaker 1: I will say something that that I have an issue with,
Speaker 1: and that is um, people who review things on Amazon.
Speaker 1: If you've ever been on Amazon dot com, as you
Speaker 1: meant me, people of buy stuff from there. I don't know,
Speaker 1: kind of a little website. It's gonna be popular one day.
Speaker 1: People review products and three stars and the whole thing
Speaker 1: collates into like four stars, three stars, three and a
Speaker 1: half whatever the average is. All I could tell you
Speaker 1: is read between the lines. Folks, don't ever take an
Speaker 1: Amazon review at face value, like an actual the star rating,
Speaker 1: because when you break down the reviews, it actually is
Speaker 1: is a terrible thing. Because this wax paper that I bought,
Speaker 1: I just needed wax paper. You know, wax paper is brody.
Speaker 1: What's waxper adult? What's wax paper? You tell? Because here's
Speaker 1: it's the point to this good what's wax paper? So
Speaker 1: you know how you have like a roll of tinfoil
Speaker 1: or aluminum foil, Right, it's paper thin? Paper made of
Speaker 1: a waxy substance that might clear. You might put it
Speaker 1: on top of a baking sheet. If you don't have
Speaker 1: to stick. Wrong, you're just as bad as the hold on,
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on. I'm not saying to put in
Speaker 1: the oven. You put wax paper down. If you're rolling
Speaker 1: out flour and you don't want to stick, you can.
Speaker 1: You can use wax paper on the table. You can
Speaker 1: roll dough on it. I use wax paper. I put
Speaker 1: chicken cutlets down on the wax paper before I fry.
Speaker 1: Then I use wax paper for things at face value. Oh,
Speaker 1: here comes Gandhi face value? What hey, Gandhi, let's answer
Speaker 1: a phone. We want to touch you on the Brooken
Speaker 1: Boys podcast. Is it safe to talk? Yeah, you gonna
Speaker 1: answer your phone? Are you naked? Are you naked? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm not. This isn't FaceTime. But okay, we're gonna call
Speaker 1: you in like three minutes. Okay, no, hold on now, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you now because and then we gotta
Speaker 1: get back to this thing. Hey, I'm gonna include you
Speaker 1: on something a wax paper in the oven. No, but
Speaker 1: that's the whole point. What's what's your story? The caller again, Um,
Speaker 1: we're scattered today. No, but this is extra scattered. Can
Speaker 1: we can we hit the he said, but on this
Speaker 1: fucking thing. Get her on the phone. Hold on, let
Speaker 1: me get her on the phone. Things are not fooling
Speaker 1: into place the way they usually do. I was really
Speaker 1: needed her there, but we've moved on. Hold on, Okay,
Speaker 1: here she comes. Brodie just walks out of the room.
Speaker 1: He's got the attention span of a goldfish. He just
Speaker 1: walked out of the room. Gandhi, Scary and Brody, Hey, listen.
Speaker 1: Brodie looked out of the room. He's really his mind
Speaker 1: is drifting today. But anyway, UM, so well, I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what's happening. Um. I made a stunning admission on
Speaker 1: the podcast, and then earlier in the podcast we told
Speaker 1: the listeners what it was and then said, oh, you
Speaker 1: know what, let Gandhi know what Scary admitted, because it
Speaker 1: has to do with you. I will be pissed because
Speaker 1: he got credit. Rest of all, he did you a favor.
Speaker 1: Did you a favor? You had asked for a favor
Speaker 1: a while back and maybe a couple of weeks ago now,
Speaker 1: and I came through and took the credit for it.
Speaker 1: But I went about it in a very shady way.
Speaker 1: But I haven't actually, I haven't said a word to
Speaker 1: anyone until just now, and it was on the podcast.
Speaker 1: So there's a couple of dimensions to this. Number One,
Speaker 1: I want to see if you're mad at him for
Speaker 1: what he did, and then if you're surprised whether or
Speaker 1: not like I am, about his thought process. So here's
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you the back the back story. You
Speaker 1: asked Scary for a favor last week to get into
Speaker 1: a restaurant. Yeah, okay, yeah, okay, well yeah, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: the same steakhouse where Scary didn't buy me dinner, okay,
Speaker 1: And I called you that night because I needed your
Speaker 1: help with something and you're like, oh, I'm that Delmonico's,
Speaker 1: And uh, I'm just I just got a table. Scary
Speaker 1: hooked me up. Yes, okay. So you're thankful for Scary,
Speaker 1: right that he did that for you, right, Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was awesome. They took care of us. It was dope. Okay,
Speaker 1: they took it, didn't take care of you. Right. Now,
Speaker 1: here's the thing that's scary. Tell her how you got
Speaker 1: to the table. First. First of all, I was a
Speaker 1: little nervous even though that we know the people in
Speaker 1: there now, because I was nervous that we weren't going
Speaker 1: to get a table because they were fully committed. There
Speaker 1: was zero reservations anywhere and they had nothing that absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1: So and you were like, I really need this table
Speaker 1: because you know, but they're fully committed. So I said,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm gonna call I'm gonna call them up
Speaker 1: for you. Right. Anyway, you went to the oldest restaurant
Speaker 1: in New York and arguably one of the best steakhouses
Speaker 1: in America with no reservation. What I'm saying, what were
Speaker 1: you thinking going there? And on a moment's notice. It
Speaker 1: was last minute, It was a week day restaurant week
Speaker 1: with They're offering deals at one of the greatest restaurants
Speaker 1: in New York. Of course it's gonna be like Tuesday Monday,
Speaker 1: because the New York City, the city that never sleeps.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've got the memo on that,
Speaker 1: but anyway, I called them up. I spoke to somebody
Speaker 1: there and then I said, listen, hey, it's scary, you
Speaker 1: remember us whatever, ha ha. But I didn't think that
Speaker 1: was gonna be enough, So I laid it all on
Speaker 1: the line right up front to the guy. I said, Hey,
Speaker 1: it's Scary Gandhi, our new co host who you haven't
Speaker 1: met yet. She's in town with a couple of friends.
Speaker 1: And she's a couple of friends in town. She needs
Speaker 1: a reservation for tonight. I and and I know you
Speaker 1: guys already, you're fully committed and have no tables left,
Speaker 1: and it's restaurant week. But just so you know, your
Speaker 1: hair comes now, hold on a second, hold on Gandhi
Speaker 1: before he tells you this. I stopped him when he
Speaker 1: told me the story, and I said, let me ask
Speaker 1: you a question, Scary, and I want I want to
Speaker 1: know what you think. He answered, okay, Scary if when
Speaker 1: you got her the table, were you happier for her
Speaker 1: or you because you lived up to the recommendation and
Speaker 1: the and the the reputation you have rather of being
Speaker 1: a guy who could hook you up like you must
Speaker 1: have been scared, right, And I said, would you have
Speaker 1: been more disap pointed for yourself or for her? If
Speaker 1: they said no? So, based on what you know, I'm
Speaker 1: scary was out of a hundred, what percentage was he
Speaker 1: happy for you versus happy for himself that he got
Speaker 1: you to table. Um, I think happy for me, Like,
Speaker 1: at least, come on, I don't listen. Nobody wants their
Speaker 1: eagle bruised. So so at this point you think he
Speaker 1: hooked you up because he's scary Jones from the others
Speaker 1: try morning Shop. But here's where he took it a
Speaker 1: step further ahead, scared because I don't think I have
Speaker 1: that much cloud. I said. Listen. By the way, she's
Speaker 1: the great granddaughter of Mahatma Gandhi. Okay, he name dropped
Speaker 1: your ancestor. And finally, I never told anyone. I didn't
Speaker 1: tell Tuesday on a Tuesday. Yes, I did my of
Speaker 1: a song. So but but first of all, are you
Speaker 1: what's your reaction to that? By the way, the man
Speaker 1: famous for a hunger strike helped to get you a
Speaker 1: table at a steak restaurant. Okay, So first of all,
Speaker 1: I think it's hilarious because I was like gushing on
Speaker 1: something about like how dope s here he was and
Speaker 1: how he has all the connection and he got me
Speaker 1: in there like two point three seconds. It was like,
Speaker 1: no problem, just turned it around. I turned it around, right.
Speaker 1: But as it turns out, your great grandfather got you
Speaker 1: with the restaurant. Yeah, you could have gotten you could
Speaker 1: have gotten in yourself. Oh my god. But here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I would never do that. I never used my last name.
Speaker 1: You've never played the Gandhi card. Never. Why do you
Speaker 1: think we hired you? Yeah? You got. You've got to
Speaker 1: apply yourself, girl. You gotta like your Look, my grandfather's Gandhi. Goddamnit.
Speaker 1: Here's what you do if you don't want to use
Speaker 1: if you don't want to use him, here's what you do.
Speaker 1: You go, Oh, you your name is Gandhi, like Gandhi.
Speaker 1: You go, Yeah, it turns out I have the same
Speaker 1: last name as my great grandfather. And then it's you're
Speaker 1: not you're not really saying it, but you're saying it.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. I don't do it because I
Speaker 1: didn't do anything that. I was just born into a family.
Speaker 1: So like, I don't know, I think it's kind of
Speaker 1: crappy to do that, whereas I would you. Hey, I'm
Speaker 1: a co host of the Elsa Barning Show a lot
Speaker 1: after because that's actually something you work for in your career, right,
Speaker 1: But there's like fifteen of us here, there's only there's
Speaker 1: fifteen of us on the show. But only one descendant
Speaker 1: of Mahatma Gandhi. That's right, that's much more important. You
Speaker 1: You win, you win, you win the day. Now you
Speaker 1: have to think though, but I do it? Why is
Speaker 1: your phone sound like? Ash? Yeah, that's breaking up? Now,
Speaker 1: be honest? How many how many Gandhi great grandchildren are
Speaker 1: there who have the Gandhi name? Oh, I'll stop my head.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I want to say, like sixteen. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's say they should all be using this to their
Speaker 1: advantage of the sixteen of the sixteen no names, no names,
Speaker 1: no name, no first names, all the sixteen. Are you
Speaker 1: aware of any of them that do take advantage a
Speaker 1: little bit? Of course? Okay, see now you really got
Speaker 1: to do this more you've got. I'm telling you it
Speaker 1: would gave everything. I can you imagine if Scary was
Speaker 1: a descendant of Christopher Columbus, that he would have a
Speaker 1: he would have a ship tattooed on his chin and
Speaker 1: be like, look, Dannina, I got d Nina. That's my
Speaker 1: that was my great great great great great great great
Speaker 1: grandfather right there. Oh, my god. And then would you
Speaker 1: pull up and kill all the natives and take all
Speaker 1: of their things? He would actually do that, got Columbus. No,
Speaker 1: but okay, but but you're not upset with me for this, right,
Speaker 1: but but but he does get a little less credit admittedly,
Speaker 1: so right, oh yeah about myself in, I would give
Speaker 1: it Scary all the credits. I can't believe you got me.
Speaker 1: By the way, Gandhi has not been on our podcast.
Speaker 1: I think since episode thirty one, that's right, long before
Speaker 1: you worked here. Oh yeah, here I was in this case, Gandhi.
Speaker 1: I just want to conclude by saying I was all in.
Speaker 1: I was like the guy at the World Series of Poker,
Speaker 1: and I said, I'm gonna use I'm gonna throw it
Speaker 1: all in right now. I'm gonna say who I am,
Speaker 1: where I'm from. And oh, by the way, the person
Speaker 1: that you're hosting tonight is the great granddaughter of Gandhi.
Speaker 1: Like boom, Like that was like a triple punch. Did
Speaker 1: you mention your calls to the Brooken Boys podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna drop that. Next time you could drop that, you'll
Speaker 1: get a table right by the counter. They love I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: they love you too. They were like, Rody Scary, we
Speaker 1: love you, guys, hang out, We're good. I was like
Speaker 1: Oh cool, that's awesome. All right, maybe that's where we
Speaker 1: should do our Okay, so I'm looking at our episode
Speaker 1: thirty one, which I was right. Look how sticks in
Speaker 1: my mind? Gandhi, your first episode on our podcast, you
Speaker 1: were in studio with us, episode thirty one, March fifteen.
Speaker 1: We're about a month away from the anniversary of your
Speaker 1: first appearance in the Elvis Strand Family. This was months before,
Speaker 1: months before you started working with Elvis, months before I
Speaker 1: knew you were our next co host. But I knew
Speaker 1: you're our next cost We were rooting for you on
Speaker 1: that day when you were in studio. By the way,
Speaker 1: and listen to that episode, everybody, episode thirty one Gandhi.
Speaker 1: Before there was Gandhi pre Gandhi. But now listen. You
Speaker 1: listen in order, so you've already heard it. But go
Speaker 1: back and listen to I'm sure everyone listening. By the way,
Speaker 1: I had a couple of listeners admit to me that
Speaker 1: they don't listen in order, and they that they're being
Speaker 1: bad listeners. And can I can number seventy and now
Speaker 1: can I make a confession while we're making confessions, Gandhi,
Speaker 1: I'm embarrassed about this, but I want to make a confession,
Speaker 1: and we have listeners that cheat sometimes. M As you
Speaker 1: guys know, I watched all the late night talk shows
Speaker 1: every night or the next day, almost all of them.
Speaker 1: I watched. I watched Colbert and Seth Myers and Jimmy Fallon,
Speaker 1: Jimmy Kimmel Daily Show, uh, and I watched the first
Speaker 1: half hour of James Gordon. I said, I don't I
Speaker 1: I can't fit. I watched Samantha b and I watch
Speaker 1: all of them. Everybody. So when Fallon does his monologue
Speaker 1: at the end, he goes, give it up for the Roots,
Speaker 1: and then the roots play, and then he walks over
Speaker 1: to his desk and does like a desk bit. I
Speaker 1: have to admit this. Most nights, I don't give it
Speaker 1: up for the roots. Yeah, I'm gonna. I want to
Speaker 1: admit that. I want to. I want to get that
Speaker 1: off my shoulder. I want to unburden myself. I just
Speaker 1: want to let you know. I I when I met him,
Speaker 1: I told him he was on the show. I said, hey, man,
Speaker 1: I give it up to the roots every night. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't always Sometimes I just go, oh,
Speaker 1: there's the roots. Yeah, So that's it. I'm that's it.
Speaker 1: So Gandhi, thank you very much for stopping by the podcast.
Speaker 1: You like me a little less. You think I'm a
Speaker 1: little less cool, No, don't. I love you. By the way,
Speaker 1: he may use your name to get into a club
Speaker 1: this weekend for myself. Yeah, yeah, can I get bottle service?
Speaker 1: My friend Gandhi might show up if I had a table,
Speaker 1: private table. I don't know if you know she's a
Speaker 1: great granddaughter of Mahatma. You guys have right to do it.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I'll ever do it. Okay, right, we
Speaker 1: may use you. Yeah, we're gonna pump you up. You
Speaker 1: don't worry. Don't you worry. I get you baby hot sauce.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Bye. All right, Okay, back to the wax
Speaker 1: paper thing real quick. What's your what's your? What's the
Speaker 1: point is? Okay, I was looking for wax paper. I
Speaker 1: wrapped stuff in it. I put it in the refrigerator paper. Right, So,
Speaker 1: this specific brand had one star and all these reviews
Speaker 1: on Amazon, and I'm like, oh my god, one star.
Speaker 1: I'm like, and I almost I was deterring me from
Speaker 1: buying it. I was going to go on to the
Speaker 1: next product, but I'm like, wait a second, and let
Speaker 1: me do a little digging here. How can this thing
Speaker 1: have one star? People were reviewing the freaking thing saying,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I put it in my oven and
Speaker 1: it was smoking, and it was smoking up and and
Speaker 1: and it was terrible and it burned my my thing. Listen,
Speaker 1: that's not wax paper. That's called parchment paper. Parchment paper
Speaker 1: and wax paper are two different things. They look alike,
Speaker 1: but parchment paper is made for three four hundred degree
Speaker 1: temperatures in an oven. Wax paper is not putiful. Are
Speaker 1: fucking moron? I googled best wax paper and I got
Speaker 1: results from Google. That's a parchment paper. Hold on, They're
Speaker 1: not the same thing here, it is. What is the
Speaker 1: different between wax paper, And by the way, this is
Speaker 1: why you listen to this podcast. While while parchment paper
Speaker 1: can do anything wax paper can, it's more expensive. The
Speaker 1: main differ between papers is their respective coatings. Parchment paper
Speaker 1: is coated with silicone to give it a nonstick heat
Speaker 1: resistance service, and wax paper is coated with a soybean
Speaker 1: or paraffin wax that's correct, which, by the way, smokes
Speaker 1: in your oven. So all these idiots that were reviewing
Speaker 1: this wax paper. We're using it as parchment paper, and unfortunately,
Speaker 1: the poor fucking product got one star. I give this
Speaker 1: a bad review. For this candle, it melts whenever I
Speaker 1: light it. Can you believe this ship I've got? I
Speaker 1: was angry, So I'm just My overlying thing here about
Speaker 1: Amazon is if you see something with one or two stars,
Speaker 1: don't necessarily write that product off. Go into a couple
Speaker 1: of the reviews and see what these people are saying.
Speaker 1: Nine out of ten times it's some schmuck who's using
Speaker 1: it for the wrong thing, or they don't know how
Speaker 1: it works, or they can't figure it out, you understand,
Speaker 1: I understand. So it's usually so it's usually not a problem.
Speaker 1: It's usually not a bad it's not a bad product
Speaker 1: if they're fucking using it for the wrong thing. Right,
Speaker 1: This got me so angry. But here's the thing. I
Speaker 1: don't even have any stock in this wax paper company.
Speaker 1: It's wax, right, Wax melts, yes, by definition of the
Speaker 1: it's wax in the name. It's probably not good on
Speaker 1: the heat. Yeah, so you put your fucking cookies in
Speaker 1: the oven four hundred degrees whatever. This ship is gonna
Speaker 1: fucking smoke up. That's what aluminum foil is for my friends.
Speaker 1: Thank you. That's concluding our segment. But parchment paper, yes,
Speaker 1: I'm all have a pain for Partchsman paper rather aluminum
Speaker 1: foils here. You know what you're bougie paper, bougie paper.
Speaker 1: Brodie's got something to say about Amazon. Speaking of bougie,
Speaker 1: I was gonna I would say about Amazon. All right,
Speaker 1: we'll do that coming up next, all right, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna talk about bougie Okay, can I talk about bogie now?
Speaker 1: So was gonna say, don't hashtag paper boogie if you
Speaker 1: don't spell boogie right? Then I was reminded, Mark, who
Speaker 1: you know, a good guy like you, I'm not mad
Speaker 1: at you. If I make a typo and I switched
Speaker 1: the G and the end because I'm typing quickly, right,
Speaker 1: that's not a spelling error. That's not a grammatical error.
Speaker 1: That's a typo. Right. If I spell would wrong or
Speaker 1: I used the wrong there, that could be a voice
Speaker 1: text problem could be but I'm good on the grammar. Okay, alright,
Speaker 1: So now what what's this bougie thing that you wanted
Speaker 1: to get to? Is that it no that was it.
Speaker 1: You have paper boogie. Oh, I'm just gonna say, spell boogie, right,
Speaker 1: that's all? Okay, how do you spell bougie? How do I?
Speaker 1: Is it b o u g I E? Right? Not?
Speaker 1: According to me, Gos and little USI vert with the
Speaker 1: song bad and boogie, bogie spelled b o u j
Speaker 1: e e. Um. Yeah, but but boogie is not spelled
Speaker 1: that way, is it? Well? I don't know they spell
Speaker 1: it that way b o u j E bad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, yeah, cooking up dope with a newsy anyway. No,
Speaker 1: you know what. It's also stylized as b o U
Speaker 1: g I E. I guess it's a it's short for bourgeoisie.
Speaker 1: I was right. Well, I don't know what. They spelled
Speaker 1: something a different way. It's not mine. He almost had
Speaker 1: any no speaking Amazon. This is a two part rant,
Speaker 1: So I feel like I'm gonna give you part of
Speaker 1: the rant because Amazon was the key to winning with
Speaker 1: my gas company. Wait, hold on, what started yet? I'm
Speaker 1: sorry last time I forgot I figured I okay, here
Speaker 1: it's two. Oh, can I tell you something? We'll spiguring
Speaker 1: of this music. I want to tell you something speaking
Speaker 1: this music, I think from the from the from the
Speaker 1: State of the Union. Hilarious. You said, so okay, so
Speaker 1: let me set the stage and you'll do your punch
Speaker 1: line and I'll tell the story. Okay, go ahead. So
Speaker 1: State of the Union. Uh, I watched it for work purposes.
Speaker 1: I normally watch it, but I watched because I had
Speaker 1: to watch it. So one of the cutaways, Uh, tell
Speaker 1: him what was going on? Though un important? The president
Speaker 1: was talking about important. The President. There's the reason why
Speaker 1: they had to cut. The President said something that was
Speaker 1: I'm want to say, untrue but also very offensive to
Speaker 1: someone with political beliefs like Bernie Sanders. You're you're totally
Speaker 1: sugarcoating this thing. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter for
Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm just saying into politics. I'm not getting
Speaker 1: into politics. I'm reiterating what he said. That president was
Speaker 1: going through. My president was attacking socialism. Yes, okay. First
Speaker 1: of all, okay, now you've got me talking politics. First
Speaker 1: of all, no one ever said America was gonna be Okay, no,
Speaker 1: but not what the point is the punchline. He made
Speaker 1: a statement and said, we will never be a socialist society,
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, the camera cuts to Bernie Sanders,
Speaker 1: it was a democratic socialist, which is not socialism, but
Speaker 1: I know, but the right, But I'm just saver. Chose
Speaker 1: the TV cut, decided to cut to him anyway. He
Speaker 1: like he was sucking lemons. He was, like said, the
Speaker 1: sour look on his face, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: the camera didn't cut back, it kept it kept focusing
Speaker 1: in on him, and then it zoomed in slowly. And
Speaker 1: I'm thinking in my head, why right, I'm playing right now? Right?
Speaker 1: It was so fucking funny. Right, So the next morning
Speaker 1: you came in, told that story how you thought they
Speaker 1: should have the curb enthusiasm music, And what I told
Speaker 1: you was the night before Live Late Show it Stephen
Speaker 1: Colbert was live. They showed that clip and they put
Speaker 1: in the music, put in the music. Great minds think alive. Right,
Speaker 1: Why couldn't w could you tell the story the way
Speaker 1: it was, because there's nothing to do with policy as
Speaker 1: it was, it was irrelevant what he said. It was
Speaker 1: that he said something that bothered Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sanders
Speaker 1: doesn't want to be upset because the one yeah, I'm upset,
Speaker 1: medical all, I'm gonna sit here on my face. He
Speaker 1: looked like he was just finished chewing a Bernie. Bernie
Speaker 1: was not happy. Bernie, you know what. Bernie looked like
Speaker 1: his soup was cold in the delis and he had
Speaker 1: to send his soup bad. He looked like Larry David too.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, that that that I was pissing
Speaker 1: my pants. Anyway, I feel like this the Amazon rant
Speaker 1: is part of the gas company rant, and I feel
Speaker 1: like you're stifling me by telling me I can't do both.
Speaker 1: Do them both? I don't give a fuck. Or I
Speaker 1: could do the time zone problem god or the condecisive bastard.
Speaker 1: I do the car dealership one I got probably do
Speaker 1: we just finished talking about. Let me tell me. Okay,
Speaker 1: so for whatever, have a washer and dryer in my
Speaker 1: basement and the drawer. The way it works is it
Speaker 1: heats stuff obviously, but there's a very thin belt. It's
Speaker 1: like a like a like a car. You open up
Speaker 1: the engine. Is those belts that right that turned everything.
Speaker 1: There's a very thin belt that goes around the drum.
Speaker 1: And if you put a little too much in the dryer,
Speaker 1: the belt snaps. Okay, my daughter put the clothing it
Speaker 1: was too wet. She took it out of the machine
Speaker 1: too soon. The washing machine put in the dryer overloaded
Speaker 1: the drying the things snapped. Okay, all right, I have
Speaker 1: a contract with the gas company to fix stuff. But
Speaker 1: the way it works is they come to your house
Speaker 1: and if they have the part, they fix it right away,
Speaker 1: no charge, because you pay a small fee every month.
Speaker 1: It's a good's a good deal. But if they don't
Speaker 1: have the part, they have to order the part and
Speaker 1: the suns of bitches will not overnight apart, you have
Speaker 1: to wait three to five business days. Well, of course,
Speaker 1: the dryer broke on a on a Thursday, whatever it was,
Speaker 1: so the guy. The guy came on a Thursday, right,
Speaker 1: I broke on a Tuesday, shows up on Thursday. I
Speaker 1: had to beg for an appointment because it was cold
Speaker 1: and they were all doing heat repairs. I get it.
Speaker 1: So they come on Thursday. They don't have the part.
Speaker 1: They don't have the part, So now Thursday it's three
Speaker 1: to five business days. So Friday one day, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Speaker 1: dare I'll look at it two weeks before I get
Speaker 1: damn thing fixed. So I say to the guy, UH,
Speaker 1: could do me a favor if I get the part.
Speaker 1: It's ten dollars on Amazon. If I get the belt,
Speaker 1: you guys install it, goes yeah, I don't you do that.
Speaker 1: You'll get the part sooner and then when our part
Speaker 1: comes in three if I business days, you'll have a backup,
Speaker 1: like all right, great, here's here's the model number whatever.
Speaker 1: I know the model number my unit. I look online.
Speaker 1: I find the part number. He confirms it. He says,
Speaker 1: no problem, will install it. Just get to make sure
Speaker 1: it's the official part. Yeah, of course, no problem. So
Speaker 1: he leaves. I ordered the part Thursday and it's overnight.
Speaker 1: It's one day delivery. Because it was Thursday, like six o'clock,
Speaker 1: they were gonna come back. I mean it was the
Speaker 1: next day because it was probably from a Jersey factory.
Speaker 1: So I called the gas company. I say, hey, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have the park tomorrow. Can you come tomorrow? Being Friday? Well,
Speaker 1: when you get the park, cause s all right, the
Speaker 1: part's gonna be here. How about we make it for Saturday.
Speaker 1: I got the part coming from Amazon overnight prime, one
Speaker 1: day prime. I'll have to part on Friday. Come Saturday. Uh,
Speaker 1: call us on Friday and we'll make you try to
Speaker 1: make the point for Saturday or Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday. Like, all,
Speaker 1: I'll have the part Friday. I get the alert on
Speaker 1: my phone. Up the parts in New Jersey. Great. Again,
Speaker 1: an alert, it's on the truck. You'll be there before
Speaker 1: five o'clock. Great. Then I get an alert that says, uh,
Speaker 1: your part's been uh temporarily delayed. The truck has been delayed. Okay,
Speaker 1: says wait for more updates. Sorry, wait, no part. It
Speaker 1: says it will be arriving later today, sorry for the
Speaker 1: late shipment. Late late, late, late late. I don't get it.
Speaker 1: It's not coming. I don't I don't know where. So
Speaker 1: so I call Amazon Amazon ASAI told you, it's great Amazon.
Speaker 1: You you go to the customer right, you go to
Speaker 1: the you go to contact us, and you choose, you choose,
Speaker 1: you choose, call me now, yes, okay, So they call me.
Speaker 1: I get Sue on the phone. I assume not her
Speaker 1: real name, and uh, I said, uh, I'm waiting for
Speaker 1: the part, like there's no part here. So she says,
Speaker 1: we just sent another alert. I get an alert on
Speaker 1: my phone. I check it ahead and looked. It says
Speaker 1: your part will not be arriving today. Uh, part is
Speaker 1: uh not locatable? It's your part. It's so so track
Speaker 1: on this damn thing, right, I go. It was on
Speaker 1: the truck. So, so I said, where's my part? I
Speaker 1: gotta have it tomorrow Friday. Uh, yeah, you'll have to Nope.
Speaker 1: Let me look look look like she uh, your part
Speaker 1: is missing? So I said missing? What does that mean? Right?
Speaker 1: This is what she says to me. She says, you
Speaker 1: know like lost lost. That's what I did. I called
Speaker 1: a third world nation because I need a synonym for missing.
Speaker 1: What I say, what is missing mean? I mean? What
Speaker 1: does you mean? What is the corporate definition? Does that
Speaker 1: mean you can't find the truck but it's coming, or
Speaker 1: you can't find the part? What does that mean in
Speaker 1: terms of what you're gonna read deliver? Are you gonna
Speaker 1: ship out a new part? She tells me. Was it
Speaker 1: on the back of the milk cartons? Missing? So? I said,
Speaker 1: what do you mean by missing? She says, you know lost?
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Thanks? Mrs. English is a third language.
Speaker 1: I don't need you telling me. What are the words?
Speaker 1: Do you missing means lost? Sir? Does that so? Fuck you?
Speaker 1: So f you? Sue? So? I said, Okay, I don't
Speaker 1: really need you to tell me, what missing means thank you?
Speaker 1: I know it means lost. I know lost means missing.
Speaker 1: What does that mean in terms of me? Sue? And
Speaker 1: I had that Sue like quote unco like that quote
Speaker 1: unquote Sue, but I should have sued. And she says, oh,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to order it again after it was
Speaker 1: on the fucking truck. So I said, I needed the
Speaker 1: part today if I order it again. Now keep in mind,
Speaker 1: it was one of those trick Amazon things where it
Speaker 1: says overnight delivery for one day prime free, but when
Speaker 1: you click on it, it says with uh appropriate order
Speaker 1: thirty five dollars or more right, or you can pay
Speaker 1: It's like you know what it's and three nine, so
Speaker 1: it's like fourteen bucks. I paid the three nine. Why
Speaker 1: don't I think you ended up with two parts? Hold on,
Speaker 1: so I saw him. I get off a fourteen dollars
Speaker 1: effort overnight depart So she says, you can, will will refund,
Speaker 1: you'll order it again. I said, well, here's the problem, Sue.
Speaker 1: It was the last one left at the other one
Speaker 1: was fourte for the same part, and I paid three
Speaker 1: nine overnight shipping. Yeah, oh, well, we'll refund the shipping. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I also not have to pay five dollars more for
Speaker 1: the other part for the other company. Something tells me
Speaker 1: you need even more money than she Well, what would
Speaker 1: you what? What? Well? What what what do you? What would
Speaker 1: you want? I said, Well, I want my back and
Speaker 1: my three back, which roughly is fourteen dollars minus two pennies.
Speaker 1: I get it, and I want the four four ninety
Speaker 1: nine for the more expensive part. And now I don't
Speaker 1: have to part. I have another day, at least at
Speaker 1: least before I get the next the next repair opportunity
Speaker 1: I want. Okay, that's so, she says, Okay, yes, a
Speaker 1: happy ending. So a little free free to stdn't come.
Speaker 1: So here's the best part. The next day the part
Speaker 1: shows up. Of course it does, and then two days
Speaker 1: later the repairment the patman shows up, fixes it. Everything
Speaker 1: got done on time for a change, and then after
Speaker 1: he leaves, the part from the gas company shows up
Speaker 1: that they ordered. I got an extra part, extra money
Speaker 1: five dollars. Boh, yeah, but now we've learned a valuable lesson.
Speaker 1: Missing means lost. I love it. All's world that ends. Well,
Speaker 1: I didn't see that. Turns that that was a twist,
Speaker 1: Well did try to screw You're gonna sell the second
Speaker 1: part on Anybay and make even more money. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: return it's Amazon now because I still have the purchase
Speaker 1: that I made. The purchase fantastic. Who's been one or
Speaker 1: the other? You got it? You know, I'll probably keep
Speaker 1: it for the next time, so tell me three to
Speaker 1: five days. But anyway, see f you sue missing um
Speaker 1: like she didn't want to embarrass me. She's like in case,
Speaker 1: She's like, oh, this poor man doesn't know what missing means.
Speaker 1: There's like, yeah, it's like, um, you know it means
Speaker 1: it means lost. Oh, thanks, thank you, thank you. Huh,
Speaker 1: look what you've learned in the five years you speak English?
Speaker 1: I'm assuming anyway, there you go. Un us jokes. I
Speaker 1: think it's time. Well off set now this is a
Speaker 1: happy end. But he's no, you didn't let me rant
Speaker 1: about the gas company. I had to beg for all.
Speaker 1: I had to beg for a week to get super
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that next episode. I'll have to now
Speaker 1: let me go. I'm use jokes. Greg T got lipos
Speaker 1: suction a couple of weeks ago, a month ago, whatever.
Speaker 1: It was a couple of months ago and he's just
Speaker 1: about healed up now, and so he did. He came
Speaker 1: in here modeling a Valentine's Day speedo. So he came
Speaker 1: in here basically naked, and uh, he didn't look good.
Speaker 1: He looked kind of flabby here and there because he
Speaker 1: didn't get light bo everywhere. He said, you can't get
Speaker 1: light bo and your gut or whatever whatever it is,
Speaker 1: he's got like light bo proof gut. So my joke
Speaker 1: was that always didn't do was Gregg he puts the
Speaker 1: sucks in lipos suction. All right. We did Vi Brad Races.
Speaker 1: We have a track with with wooden lanes and we
Speaker 1: have vibrators that vibrate down the track and each of
Speaker 1: the vibrators represented a football team in the Super Bowl,
Speaker 1: and the Red Patriot vibrator one. But Alvis wanted a
Speaker 1: name for the race, and I said, how about the
Speaker 1: instead of the Indie five hundred, the in Me five hundred.
Speaker 1: He didn't do it. That's an opportunity missed. We did
Speaker 1: a story about a bunch of supermodels, I think something
Speaker 1: to the effect of supermodels. We're gonna open up an
Speaker 1: amusement park, and Elvis was like, oh, what kind of
Speaker 1: rides would they have there? And I did, how about
Speaker 1: it's a size small after all, or it's an extra
Speaker 1: small world. He wouldn't do those. We did a story
Speaker 1: about a dog that ate a lightbulb and I said, well,
Speaker 1: she wasn't too bright. He wouldn't do that. That's cute.
Speaker 1: We had a caller who said she was born our
Speaker 1: mother took a sperm donor and and uh, and then
Speaker 1: just took a donation of sperm from some sperm bank.
Speaker 1: And so my question was, I asked if she sleeps
Speaker 1: in a cup? He wouldn't do it. So I gave
Speaker 1: him a second joke, and I said, do you collect
Speaker 1: turkey basters? I wouldn't do it. And finally Alvis was
Speaker 1: talking about how he's not really into sports. He's looking
Speaker 1: for a sport, some sport he might like. Doesn't play baseball,
Speaker 1: doesn't play football. I said, you know what, you'd be
Speaker 1: good at, cornholing. I didn't do it. I had that
Speaker 1: one from two. He didn't do it. Yeah, I gotta look,
Speaker 1: I got the look. The corn corn hole is a
Speaker 1: good one. That's a great joke. Okay. And by the way,
Speaker 1: listeners were all also texting that into yeah, it's no
Speaker 1: brain up. But here's the thing. This is episode seventy two.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tease the head a little bit, he said,
Speaker 1: seventy three. I'm gonna talk about how you fucked me
Speaker 1: on our vacation already, and I don't mean, I don't
Speaker 1: mean in the sexual way. I may talk about the
Speaker 1: gas company, the full story. Oh, an email I got
Speaker 1: from someone uh in our company who doesn't understand how
Speaker 1: fucking time zones work. Oh and my mom will be
Speaker 1: on episode seventy three. And you know, not only are
Speaker 1: we both from Brooklyn, but my mom's so Brooklyn. Dah
Speaker 1: boys Brooklyn, Brooklyn, naw Boys Brock Brooklyn,