1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:01,440 Speaker 1: Cutbooms. 2 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:05,360 Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes 3 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants 4 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He 5 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the 6 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:19,600 Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of 7 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,480 Speaker 2: hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour 8 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 2: with Ben Maller starts right now. 9 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 3: In the air eywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben 10 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:39,200 Speaker 3: Mahler and Danny g Radio A Happy Saturday to you. 11 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: We survived Friday the thirteenth. It is now the fourteenth 12 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 1: day of March, a day closer to the start of 13 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: the real baseball season. With apologies to the World Baseball Classic. 14 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: On this podcast, though, on this Saturday, we have a 15 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: Toddler's flip flop living room of doom, and we'll see 16 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: if we have time for anything else. But I wanted 17 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 1: to start with this now. I always start with the 18 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,559 Speaker 1: life of Malar. So I am not a mountain man. 19 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: I am not a mountain man. I think you know 20 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 1: that I am a creature of the city, and so 21 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 1: we'll just get that out of the way early on. 22 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 1: If you're new to the podcast Welcome and we do 23 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 1: the show from LA. People that live in Los Angeles 24 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: like to pretend that they are rugged outdoorsman, a regular 25 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:36,959 Speaker 1: grizzly Adams. And people do that because they drive a 26 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 1: couple hours into the mountains. They rent a cabin that 27 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 1: has WiFi, and that of course is not wilderness. That 28 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: is an airbnb with pine trees, is what that is. 29 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 1: So last weekend, apparently I was Big Bear Benny, Big 30 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: Bear Benny. My wife announced that we were going to 31 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: the mountains. Maybe not, Hey, let's think about it. This 32 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 1: was presented as a FATA complaint that the way that 33 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: a desk spot announces or you know, the dictator, that 34 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,679 Speaker 1: there's a new infrastructure project that needs to be done 35 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: by this date, we're going to Big Bear. So when 36 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: your wife says we, what she means is I think 37 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 1: you know this. If you're married, I have already made 38 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: plans and you are part of them. Period. Stop. That's it. 39 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 1: So the malormobile, the station wagon was packed like we 40 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 1: were evacuating some kind of coastal fire situation. Maybe there 41 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: was a hurricane. I don't know. My wife does not 42 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: believe in traveling light. God bless her. She does not 43 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: believe in traveling light, which is weird. I watch a 44 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: lot of these travel you know shows whatever on YouTube. 45 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: They are well, travel like a professional traveler. No, we 46 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 1: bring out, We bring our entire house wherever we go, coolers, 47 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: grocery bags, jackets, fans, you name it, gloves, this obviously 48 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,919 Speaker 1: snow stuff. We had our boots, We had enough food 49 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:17,800 Speaker 1: to feed a minor league baseball team. So we left. 50 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: We drove through traffic, rush hour traffic, mountain roads, winding 51 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: around the hills of southern California, climbing through the fog 52 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: the big trees, until suddenly it looked like a Harmark 53 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: movie that ran out of a plot. We arrived at 54 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: the cabin. Now, I've been lucky enough in my time 55 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:44,280 Speaker 1: to travel some beautiful mountain places. The most beautiful trees 56 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: and mountain combo that I have seen are in the 57 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 1: Sequoia Forest of California. But traveling around Vermont. When I 58 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: went to see Arnie in Vermont, it was awesome. It 59 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: was nothing but trees, and a lot of the New 60 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: England states are like that. I just happened to drive 61 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:06,640 Speaker 1: up the main road in Vermont and it was amazing. 62 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: That's where they filmed the Hallmark movies. So we arrived here. 63 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: It was beautiful, truly, just breathtaking. Big trees got out 64 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 1: of the concrete jungles. There was snow on the ground. 65 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: There was a lake. We got this place right in 66 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,039 Speaker 1: front of a lake that was sitting there like it was 67 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: posing for some kind of tourism brochure or some feature 68 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: on a documentary or something like that. Temperatures were in 69 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: the thirties. It looked exactly like the kind of place 70 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: people from Wisconsin or New England call a Tuesday a Tuesday. 71 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: Right now in Los Angeles or southern California, this counts. 72 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 1: I can't stress this enough. This is an expedition. The 73 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:52,599 Speaker 1: fascinating thing about SoCal is that you can experience winter 74 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 1: for a couple of hours here or there. In this case, 75 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: you know, a couple of days, but a lot of 76 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: people just do six hours and then return down the 77 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: hill around the winding mountain roads and return to palm 78 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 1: trees and iced coffee. You could, theoretically, and there have 79 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: been many people that have done this over the years, 80 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: you could surf in the morning, get up early, go 81 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 1: surfing when the sun rises, and then by late afternoon. 82 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:28,160 Speaker 1: You're in the sled and you're in snow, and that 83 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: just seems unnatural, like the climate itself is confused. And 84 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 1: now I should mention this is somewhat important. I believe 85 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:43,280 Speaker 1: it is something important. When I say we rented the cabin, 86 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: what I actually mean is that my wife and my 87 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 1: sister in law they rented the cabin. They went on 88 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: they searched a bunch of places to rent, and I 89 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: was what you might call an invited contributor, not an 90 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: invited guest, an invited contributor, which I discovered shortly after arriving. 91 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 1: You see, because there was a schedule. This was not 92 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: just chill out hang out. No, no, there was a schedule, 93 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: not a vacation schedule, a work schedule. Friday was Benny 94 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 1: makes burgers, Okay, Saturday, my brother in law, Chris, he 95 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: makes pizza. We had lunch on Saturday. The pizza was dinner. 96 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 1: Pizza was dinner Saturday lunch, Deli, sandwiches, cold cuts, breakfast, 97 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 1: something involving eggs, which I was not. Party two. I 98 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: do not eat breakfast unless it's corn beef hash and 99 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,600 Speaker 1: it's rare and appropriate. This was not rare or appropriate. 100 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 1: I was too close to home, so I was assigned burgers. 101 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: As I mentioned, now, you've heard over the years that 102 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:00,799 Speaker 1: I am a fan of the burger. I like futzing 103 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: around in the kitchen and being a bit of a 104 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 1: sugar huh. I've fallen down rabbit holes watching a bunch 105 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: of YouTube videos trying to master the burger. And I've 106 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: talked about Benny's Burgers. Betty's Burgers are smash burgers. This 107 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: is not a casual passing fancy. I've been doing this 108 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:23,559 Speaker 1: for several years now. There's technique involved, there's timing, there's 109 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: surface area, the crisp edges of the smash burger, the 110 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 1: melted cheese cascading over the sides like a like a 111 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: volcano of cheese. The lava is the cheese, and it's 112 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 1: just great. So I walk into the kitchen expecting to 113 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: begin a Mallard masterpiece, a culinary masterpiece. And I was excited. 114 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 1: I was like, listen, this is I'm ready for this. 115 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 1: This is the big weeks here, this is it. Got 116 00:07:54,080 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: my family, I've got my in laws, everyone's there. It's great, 117 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: It's gonna be wonderful. I'm ready to go. And then 118 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: I met my mortal enemy. The kitchen, Now not just 119 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 1: a kitchen. If you could imagine, and this is theater 120 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:18,679 Speaker 1: of the imagination, but if you could imagine a kitchen 121 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 1: designed by someone who had heard about cooking but really 122 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 1: never had seen how that works, you would be close. 123 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 1: I walked in and I wanted to do that Homer 124 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,280 Speaker 1: or Grandpa Simpson thing where you walk right back out. 125 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:41,079 Speaker 1: It was essentially a shoe box with a stove. It 126 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: would have been fine if I was Kyler Murray's size. 127 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: There was no griddle, there was no prep space. There 128 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 1: was like one half of one thing that was counter space. 129 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,679 Speaker 1: There was technically a cutting board, but it was roughly 130 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: the size of a toddler's flip flop. It was small, small, 131 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,080 Speaker 1: So the refrigerator was like judging me as I was 132 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: in there, like, what are you doing here, loser? The 133 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 1: stove made a noise that suggested it was not emotionally 134 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: prepared to be used, that this assignment was too much. 135 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:18,800 Speaker 1: And who are you? Why are you here? This is 136 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:24,680 Speaker 1: not for you, Paul Harvey used to say, And now 137 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,440 Speaker 1: the rest of the story, So let's get to the 138 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: rest of the story. The rest of the story is 139 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: that smash burgers require smashing video at eleven. They require smashing, 140 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: You need space, you need obviously heat. There's a power 141 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: dynamic involved in this. Instead, I had a burner that 142 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:51,319 Speaker 1: looked like it had survived the Nixon administration, tricky dick, 143 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:56,559 Speaker 1: and a pan that seemed offended. 144 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:56,840 Speaker 2: It was. 145 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 1: Resentment that it was being awoken from its retirement in 146 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: the mountains and still in show business. As in cooking, 147 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: the rule is the same, The show must go on. 148 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 1: Seven people were hungry, and that was the mission. To 149 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 1: feed the seven people. I had already rolled the meat 150 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 1: in the little meatballs for the burgers, the way I 151 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: normally do for the smash burgers. The buns were buttered, 152 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 1: the toppings were lined up, the cheese and all that stuff, 153 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: the onions, and then the math stopped. Mathing seven burgers 154 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,680 Speaker 1: one tiny pan. Everyone wanted to eat at the same time. 155 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: This ain't gonna work. The kitchen was roughly the size 156 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: of a broom closet, and even though it was in 157 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: the thirties outside, I was sweating. I was sweating like 158 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:56,680 Speaker 1: I was being interrogated under hot lights. The stove was weezing. 159 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 1: The spatula seemed like it really didn't want to be either. 160 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:04,559 Speaker 1: It was really nervous. The burgers themselves were confused. They 161 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: had been promised smash burgers instead, their final act before 162 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 1: they go into your belly. Instead, they were slowly turning 163 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 1: into regular burgers, not good regular burgers, very small ones, 164 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 1: petite burgers. If burgers could sigh, these burgers would have 165 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: sighed instead of crispy smash burgers with again the glorious 166 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 1: cheese and oh my god, it's so good, it's so delicious. 167 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 1: Everyone received what can only be described as a diet hamburger. Now, 168 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,320 Speaker 1: they were fine, They tasted fine, the meat was good, 169 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 1: the seasoning was on point, and people claimed they liked them. However, 170 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 1: I knew, you know, when people are being polite, I've 171 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 1: done that dance. I've done that dance. I mean, you 172 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 1: can't give an honest opinion, just a little white lie. 173 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 1: It's a little white lie. And I knew the truth. 174 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 1: Somewhere deep in my culinary soul. I had this voice 175 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:11,840 Speaker 1: that was whispering, this is not good. You can do better. 176 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:17,319 Speaker 1: Rest of the trip thankfully improved. After my burger humiliation, 177 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 1: the family dragged me outside to play in the snow 178 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 1: with my niece and the nephew and everyone else there. 179 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,959 Speaker 1: Now I'm a middle aged man. I don't like to 180 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,959 Speaker 1: say that because it feels I don't feel like I'm that. 181 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: Every once in a while it pops up my back. 182 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: On this day was already barking. The mattress felt like 183 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 1: it was filled with concrete. I don't think that was 184 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 1: a sleep number mattress. And so that, you know, the 185 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,920 Speaker 1: children want to go sledding, so whatever they want, they get, 186 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 1: which means I became Benny the Bob's letter. Obviously you 187 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: knew that. We pulled over in the malamobile on just 188 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 1: on the side of the road. That's how you do it, 189 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 1: small country road, you know, in the hills there Mountain Road, 190 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,720 Speaker 1: grabbed us lead and launched ourselves down a hill like amateurs. 191 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: In a low budget version of NBC's Winter Olympics. Mike 192 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:13,319 Speaker 1: Tarico was not doing commentary at the end of the day. Now, 193 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 1: it was fun. It was cold, We had jackets on 194 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: and all that. We were prepared. We had a couple 195 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 1: of layers of clothing. It was fun. I had not 196 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,120 Speaker 1: been to Big Bear since I was a kid in 197 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,240 Speaker 1: the Cub Scouts and the Boy Scouts and all that. 198 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 1: It's been bit a minute, bit a minute, a little kid, 199 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 1: I'm old now, And the place still had the same 200 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 1: slightly ramshackle mountain town charm, what you might call it. 201 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: So we drove around a little bit after we got 202 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 1: done playing in the snow, me and the wife. Everyone 203 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 1: else wanted to stay at the cabin, and we drove 204 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,319 Speaker 1: around exploring. There was a general store that appeared to 205 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:53,440 Speaker 1: sell every item humans forgot when they came up to 206 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 1: the mountains. Flashlights, batteries, canned goods, some kind of weird 207 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 1: mystery snack that I wouldn't eat, and I'll eat pretty 208 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:06,400 Speaker 1: much anything. And they were open from ten am to 209 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 1: two pm, otherwise known as the easiest radio shift of 210 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:14,400 Speaker 1: all time. Middays four hours. That's it. If you need 211 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,760 Speaker 1: milk at two oh five, you're out of luck. Plan better, 212 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 1: Plan better. We also visited Lake Arrowhead, which felt like 213 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 1: it was Manhattan compared compared to where we were staying. 214 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: Arrowhead had things not just Santa's Village. It had McDonald's. 215 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 1: I think I saw five guys. There was an actually 216 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 1: there was an actual grocery store right there. Civilization, civilization 217 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: was going on now. Meanwhile, our cabin, which was deep 218 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 1: in what I can only describe as po dunk pines. 219 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 1: That was where we were here. We were visiting Arrowhead. 220 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:01,080 Speaker 1: There was this windstorm blowing across the lake which created 221 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 1: this dramatic wave. There was Arctic style gusts of wind. 222 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 1: A lot of ducks, my relatives, the Mallards, the mudhnds. 223 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: I love mudhens, not Toledo mud hens. These were just 224 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 1: regular mud hens. And they were all floating along merrily, merrily, merrily, 225 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,040 Speaker 1: merrily down the stream or in this case, the lake, 226 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 1: very happy in the chaos. They didn't mind the cast 227 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 1: They're in the water. They were being fed by it, 228 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,680 Speaker 1: not us. But there was some random tourists, and there 229 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 1: was this shop that sold all kinds of It had 230 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 1: like tours, your typical touristy shop. It offered tours of 231 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 1: the lake and you could buy different souvenirs and all that. 232 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 1: And so they also sold bags of food for the ducks. 233 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 1: So the ducks aren't idiots. The Mallard ducks the smartest 234 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,520 Speaker 1: duck of them. All the geese, all the water fowl, 235 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 1: they were just hanging out waiting because they knew that 236 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 1: random people were going to buy those bags of food. 237 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,120 Speaker 1: And they were gonna get fed, and that's all all 238 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:04,200 Speaker 1: they cared about. And they were delighted. The wind was 239 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,920 Speaker 1: not The wind was very angry. And I was standing 240 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,320 Speaker 1: there and I realized something remarkable that I kind of know. 241 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 1: And you've done it. Everyone's all you forget, because I 242 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 1: hadn't done this in a long time. In sokl Within 243 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 1: a few hours we had gone from thirty six degrees 244 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: in the mountains with snow capped on the hills and 245 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 1: the sheds and the stores and everything, thirty six degrees 246 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,280 Speaker 1: in the mountains. We got back to the Malor mansion, 247 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:34,040 Speaker 1: it was eighty five degrees down the hill. Two days 248 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 1: later it was ninety nine, not ninety nine in the 249 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:40,680 Speaker 1: store in Boston. Ninety nine. That's not whether that's a 250 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 1: mood swing. Despite the burger disaster, the cramped kitchen, the 251 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:52,120 Speaker 1: sledding induced spinal complaints, the trip was good. The trip 252 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,280 Speaker 1: was good because sometimes the things that happen on these vacations, 253 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 1: it's not about luxury, Those small inconveniences, those are the 254 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:04,240 Speaker 1: things that turn into pretty good stories. The shoe box kitchen, 255 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:08,679 Speaker 1: the Kyler Murray's sized cutting board, the toddler sized cutting board, 256 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,920 Speaker 1: the burgers that don't quite smash the way they're supposed to, 257 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:19,119 Speaker 1: despite the efforts and the quiet realization that even when 258 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 1: the cooking goes bad, the view outside the window spectacular, spectacular, 259 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:27,320 Speaker 1: And that's my favorite time to go to the snow. 260 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,240 Speaker 1: It's kind of the end of the snowy season. There's 261 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:34,320 Speaker 1: still snow, it hasn't melted. You get to enjoy it. However, 262 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:37,320 Speaker 1: it's not an active crime scene where snow's falling down. 263 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,399 Speaker 1: And even if the stove is judging you like it 264 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:44,119 Speaker 1: was me is fine. So turning the page on that 265 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 1: it's the Saturday. But a lot happened this week. A 266 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 1: lot happened this week, so I wanted to share it 267 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 1: with you on the podcast. So in a small village 268 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 1: on the ragged edge of the enchanted forest known locally 269 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:02,160 Speaker 1: as the north Woods, though those of you that are 270 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,959 Speaker 1: not from the north Woods might simply call it suburbia, 271 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,440 Speaker 1: we like to call it the north Woods in southern California. 272 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:13,479 Speaker 1: And otherwise ordinary ritual that we do. Every man and 273 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,399 Speaker 1: woman in the United States does it. 274 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:16,880 Speaker 2: Well. 275 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,399 Speaker 1: I don't know about women, but dudes do it. Just 276 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 1: ordinary ritual was underway. Supper Chow and televised sports. That 277 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,480 Speaker 1: was the plan on this day. The wife was at 278 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,200 Speaker 1: work and I had my thing, so that the stage 279 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:37,199 Speaker 1: was set for a sort of modest event that, in 280 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 1: this case, would lead to high drama disguised as a 281 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:47,040 Speaker 1: domestic routine. Now, the star of the evening was not 282 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:53,440 Speaker 1: Team USA. It was the World Baseball Classic, right, No, 283 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:57,440 Speaker 1: actually wasn't. It wasn't Mexico. None of that was the star. 284 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: They were the opponent this day, the real, the real 285 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 1: I don't know, not villain, but protagonist. I'll use the 286 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,360 Speaker 1: word protagonist. The real protagonist in this was a burrito. Now, 287 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:16,280 Speaker 1: the burrito had been assembled in the kitchen, admirable craft. 288 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 1: I just mentioned how I fed up the burgers the burrito, 289 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,800 Speaker 1: I'm happy to tell you, for years I did not 290 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 1: know how to properly wrap a burrito. Thank god for 291 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 1: YouTube and a old babushka. I don't think what's the 292 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:35,359 Speaker 1: Spanish word or the for the old grandma I watched 293 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,800 Speaker 1: this bobushka. I'll just used the word babushka. It's fun word. 294 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,399 Speaker 1: So the babushka showed you how to properly like in 295 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,440 Speaker 1: a real, authentic like in Mexico City. How to wrap 296 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,119 Speaker 1: a burrito. It's like, okay, I'm into it. So I 297 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,240 Speaker 1: know how to wrap a burrito. So the origins of 298 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,920 Speaker 1: this trace back. I make a lot of food on 299 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 1: the weekends just to eat a little bit every day 300 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 1: during the week. So we made a surplus of chicken. 301 00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 1: We had a stockpile of bach block chicken. One of 302 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 1: those culinary wind windfalls. The chicken is unseasoned. You can 303 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,119 Speaker 1: do whatever you want with it. You can manipulate it 304 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 1: how you see fit, and so whatever inspires you that 305 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:20,479 Speaker 1: day as the home cook. So I imagine myself when I'm 306 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,399 Speaker 1: in the kitchen, I'm like, well, you know, I'm only 307 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 1: the phone call away from someone who loves the Overnight show, 308 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,720 Speaker 1: who happens to work in Entertainment's like, hey, let's get 309 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:33,719 Speaker 1: the overnight sports radio guy on the Iron Chef. We'll 310 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,399 Speaker 1: give those influencers a break and we'll get Mallard on 311 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:41,240 Speaker 1: the Iron Chef. Now, the kitchen unlike the one in 312 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 1: the mountains around Big Bear, the kitchen that the Malla Manchion, 313 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 1: I mean, that's pretty good, good, good, good spot. And 314 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 1: the chicken was reheated, it was fortified. I added my 315 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 1: own spice on this day, it was cayenne pepper, chili powder, 316 00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:00,240 Speaker 1: black pepper, a few other things, little garlic, and then 317 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: I tucked it into the tortilla. I had some cheese, 318 00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 1: layer of cheese, put the meat on top, had some 319 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,560 Speaker 1: grilled onions and some belt pepper, and then I did 320 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 1: the burrito wrapping maneuver. And I am now prepared. If 321 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,479 Speaker 1: I lose the radio show, I can work at Taco Bell. 322 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 1: I'm coming for your job. If you work at Taco 323 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 1: Bell now. Not Nick, the Wendy's guy, He's got his 324 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 1: own thing. They don't have burritos at Wendy's. But I'm 325 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:32,400 Speaker 1: talking about Taco Bell now. The plate was accompanied by 326 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:37,520 Speaker 1: air fried fries. That is the add on item off 327 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:42,359 Speaker 1: the secret menu, an accessory item that shows you both 328 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 1: health consciousness and somewhat optimism culinary optimism. So there was 329 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,399 Speaker 1: also a drink, sort of a middle aged elixir. If 330 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,359 Speaker 1: you will enjoy the crystal light, The strawberry and the 331 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,119 Speaker 1: grape are my favorite. If you want to send me some, 332 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,359 Speaker 1: feel free. It has like ten or twenty calories, depending 333 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 1: on what you're drinking. Some have five calories. The mathematics 334 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 1: of aging done one pack at the time now. If 335 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:11,920 Speaker 1: you have any suggestions, sure, I'm not being full of crap. 336 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,679 Speaker 1: If you have any suggestions. I've dabbled with the Crystal Light. 337 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,720 Speaker 1: If you have any other I saw there's like a 338 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 1: Welchers product grape that I haven't tried. I haven't seen 339 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,040 Speaker 1: that at the store. If there's any of those other 340 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,879 Speaker 1: things that you can just mix in, let me know, 341 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:27,639 Speaker 1: let me know. I like to try some others, but 342 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,560 Speaker 1: I want you to tell me it's good first, because 343 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 1: I've tried a lot of the Crystal Light stuff, which 344 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,359 Speaker 1: is just a little packets you add to the water 345 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,359 Speaker 1: and it tastes makes the water taste the better. I 346 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 1: only do that when I'm eating my meal. I only 347 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 1: do that when I'm eating my meal. Otherwise I just 348 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,720 Speaker 1: drink water. So let me know if any of those 349 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,920 Speaker 1: other ones are good, email me Real fifth hour at 350 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,960 Speaker 1: gmail dot com. So again, back to the story. So 351 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:53,919 Speaker 1: at dinner and baseball, which is the American utopia? Is 352 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:57,080 Speaker 1: it not the American utopia? I think it is. I 353 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:01,680 Speaker 1: think it is the sort of quiet cultural image that 354 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:06,960 Speaker 1: Norman Rockwell would have painted if he owned an airfire. 355 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 1: Unfortunately he never did. He never owned an airfire. And 356 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 1: then as the the diner was I was in the 357 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 1: Benny's Diners, I call it the whole thing, and the 358 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 1: dinner was prepared, it was ready to go. I then 359 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,200 Speaker 1: transferred to where I wanted to eat. I settled into 360 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 1: the to the sofa. I was prepared to watch team 361 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:35,160 Speaker 1: USA do whatever team USA does in the World Baseball 362 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 1: Classic on that day. Is a fugazy tournament that Baseball 363 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:43,640 Speaker 1: cooked up because the Olympics kicked him out. And this, 364 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,560 Speaker 1: this was not a dramatic moment. There was nothing cinematic 365 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:51,119 Speaker 1: about it, just a flicker in the peripheral vision, the 366 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 1: way a shadow might slip across a wall, right in 367 00:23:55,880 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 1: a suspense movie, a horror movie, just before the violins 368 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: begin shrieking. So, my companion who doesn't do well with pumpkin, Moxie, 369 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,200 Speaker 1: she was not responsible for this movement. You'st well, that's 370 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 1: probably Moxie. No, no, no, Moxie was in what might 371 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 1: be described as canine solitary confinement, which is just indoor 372 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 1: outdoor living. She had been placed outside. Some say the 373 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,720 Speaker 1: bark jail. I say the outdoor sofa, which I have 374 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,280 Speaker 1: not even sat on. That we bought this outdoor sofa 375 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:32,400 Speaker 1: years ago, and I've never even sat on it. And 376 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: that's Moxie's outdoor abode. She's all about comfort. So anyway, 377 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:47,400 Speaker 1: that evening burrito ritual proceeded because Moxie was outside without interruption. Again, 378 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:52,520 Speaker 1: I'd seen something. Was it a ghost? The mystery deepened. 379 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,720 Speaker 1: Was it a rat, rat, a tat tat ratatui? Was 380 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:59,920 Speaker 1: it a cat? No? No, no, no, no, none of those. 381 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 1: The intruder turned out to be something far more appropriate 382 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:11,160 Speaker 1: for southern California's ecological environment, the theater, the animals, the critters. 383 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:17,280 Speaker 1: A lizard, not a gargantuan creature, not the sort of 384 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,879 Speaker 1: reptile that might cause a news helicopter to hover overhead 385 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 1: and make national news. However, it was not insignificant either, 386 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,760 Speaker 1: roughly the size of a human hand, which is large 387 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 1: enough to provoke the kind of adrenaline normally reserved for 388 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 1: the seventh inning of a seventh, eighth or ninth inning 389 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:40,480 Speaker 1: of a playoff baseball game. Now, following a minutes long 390 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:45,600 Speaker 1: mallear investigation, the reptilian trespasser has been identified as a 391 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:51,400 Speaker 1: person of interest, a Western fence lizard, which I did 392 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:55,720 Speaker 1: not know was a thing until the minutes long mallear investigation. Now, 393 00:25:55,760 --> 00:26:02,040 Speaker 1: this particular species has the delightful quirk of possessing bright blue, 394 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:06,199 Speaker 1: a very bright blue underside, a color so vivid that 395 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,119 Speaker 1: looking at this you could liken it to Dodger blue. 396 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:15,400 Speaker 1: It's time for Dodger Baseball. Now, if LA ever decides 397 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:19,000 Speaker 1: to expand its brand identity, talk about the Dodgers. Here 398 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 1: into the reptile kingdom, the Western Fence lizard is ready 399 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:29,879 Speaker 1: for a Shohei Otani level endorsement deal. Now, the lizard, 400 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 1: no doubt completely unaware that it had wandered in to 401 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 1: a random home which happens to host a sports radio 402 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:45,800 Speaker 1: guy in the living room during an international baseball competition. Now, 403 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 1: lizard had apparently slipped inside the door when we let 404 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 1: Moxie go out for the potty time. Potty time. Now 405 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,480 Speaker 1: you might imagine the creature I was thinking of this. 406 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,199 Speaker 1: I was like, let's get in the head of the creature, 407 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:05,720 Speaker 1: the lizard. The thought process to the lizard. Did the 408 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 1: lizard realize where it was? To a lizard, a human 409 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 1: is a monster a monster mash. To a lizard, a 410 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 1: human is a deadly thing. In a human home must 411 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:28,920 Speaker 1: resemble a climate controlled paradise, warm floors, interesting smells, a 412 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:33,680 Speaker 1: buffet of possible insects that are going undetected. It's an 413 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:38,399 Speaker 1: Airbnb for reptiles. Now eventually, with the assistance of the kid, 414 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 1: every great American domestic crisis requires one. The back door 415 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:47,520 Speaker 1: was opened, the lizard was gently encouraged to return to 416 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 1: the wilderness. There was no violence. The lizard did not die, 417 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,919 Speaker 1: was not harmed in any way. There was no melodrama, 418 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,480 Speaker 1: just a brief cameo appearance by Mother Nature in the 419 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:06,320 Speaker 1: middle of a baseball broadcast. And the episode raised questions 420 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 1: that philosophers should consider. For one thing, we'll give you one. 421 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,719 Speaker 1: What else has slipped through the doors of the modern 422 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:21,160 Speaker 1: American household. Now the north Woods, like many suburban environments, 423 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:27,439 Speaker 1: suburbia exist in this delicate truth between civilization and the 424 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:32,359 Speaker 1: natural world. I install these patios, you get the Wi 425 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:40,360 Speaker 1: Fi router or router. The animal installs itself wherever it pleases. 426 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:51,280 Speaker 1: Fence lizards today, King Cobra's tomorrow, I granted spiny lizard things, 427 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 1: perhaps a coast old horned lizard. It means something more ambitious, 428 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,720 Speaker 1: a coyote. If coyote is here, can wander through the neighborhood, 429 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,720 Speaker 1: the casual entitlement. I'd like to see the parrots. We 430 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 1: have parrots that fly around. They escape from the jail 431 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:12,080 Speaker 1: years ago and they just have been breeding and travel 432 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,880 Speaker 1: around and they live a great time, a great life 433 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: and all that stuff. So nature it turns out, well, 434 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 1: it turns out an excellent gate crasher. Excellent. They do 435 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 1: not believe in laws. They like for them, it's Joe 436 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:32,200 Speaker 1: Biden's president, and just do whatever you want and that's it, 437 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 1: you know, knock yourself out. That's where that's where they're at. 438 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:41,080 Speaker 1: And so there's there's also this curious overlay going to 439 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,000 Speaker 1: rock and roll. I remember when I when I heard 440 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,959 Speaker 1: years ago a kid Jim Morrison was dead before I 441 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,160 Speaker 1: was alive, but I remember hearing the Doors very popular. 442 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 1: People are strange when they all time great songs, which 443 00:29:55,880 --> 00:30:00,120 Speaker 1: does apply to overnight radio. So I remember the the 444 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 1: reptilian mind of Jim Morrison will so we had visitors 445 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,120 Speaker 1: that were reptilian or one. So for some reason I 446 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,480 Speaker 1: was saying with Jim Morrison, the Doors front man, who 447 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 1: famously dubbed himself the Lizard King and according to legend, 448 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 1: believed he could communicate with reptiles, thus the nickname the 449 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:27,960 Speaker 1: Lizard King. Now, history suggests that what likely happened is 450 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:34,560 Speaker 1: Jim Morrison. His reptilian diplomacy was fueled by a cocktail 451 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 1: that was a little less, little, less wholesome than my 452 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 1: crystal light pack. And still the thought it was lingering here, 453 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 1: like what if one could converse with reptiles If I 454 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 1: just went down to the San Diego Zoo and I said, 455 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 1: let me have a deep, thoughtful conversation with the Komodo 456 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:59,080 Speaker 1: dragon now, And what would the Komodo dragon say? If 457 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 1: given the chance to watch a baseball game, would the 458 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:05,160 Speaker 1: dragon say, well, that's boring, or I want to watch 459 00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,560 Speaker 1: other sports? I don't know. Would a heal a monster 460 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:13,440 Speaker 1: offer a scouting report and about Team USA's lack of 461 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 1: buy in factor? And perhaps the deeper question, would reptiles 462 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 1: enjoy sports radio because I need more listeners. I need 463 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 1: more listeners. Would they be podcast listeners or would they 464 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,920 Speaker 1: be all night listeners? I don't know. Now one suspects 465 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 1: they might appreciate its elemental qualities, the raised voices of 466 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:39,360 Speaker 1: sports radio, the territorial arguments of sports talk radio, the 467 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:43,320 Speaker 1: ritualistic debates over who's a winner, and who's a loser, 468 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,920 Speaker 1: and who's good and bad? Who should retire? Who's the 469 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,680 Speaker 1: goadie mcgoat. In many ways, sports talk already resembles the 470 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 1: animal kingdom, a chorus of random callers and echoing through 471 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,000 Speaker 1: the night, and all that. So as for the stock market, 472 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 1: as for this stock mind, reptiles might have the right 473 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 1: temperament to go to Wall Street. They might. They might 474 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 1: cold blooded, patient, unmoved by emotional swings. Wall Street could 475 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:18,960 Speaker 1: probably learn a few things from a lizard. Now. In 476 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:22,680 Speaker 1: the end, the Western Fence lizard returned to the backyard, 477 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:27,680 Speaker 1: Benny's burrito was consumed, and the World Baseball Classic continued 478 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 1: its march to the television schedule. However, the evening left 479 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 1: behind another memorable moment. Life's all about the stories you 480 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 1: pick up along the way. A memorable event happened. A 481 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:45,160 Speaker 1: man on a sofa, a burrito in hand, a baseball 482 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:49,800 Speaker 1: game on television, talking baseball, and for a moment, just 483 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 1: a litle flicker, little flicker in the corner of the eye, 484 00:32:54,160 --> 00:33:02,560 Speaker 1: the ancient wilderness, reminding the modern world that it's still exists. Well, 485 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,560 Speaker 1: we don't have time for a full foody fun. I 486 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: did have a couple of stories I wanted to share 487 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 1: with you from foody Fun. Hooray for food he fun. 488 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:12,880 Speaker 1: Hooray for food he fun. Yeah, foody fun. All right, 489 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:17,720 Speaker 1: thank you for that. So ihop is offering free bottomless 490 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:23,720 Speaker 1: pancakes with purchase of select breakfast combos. That is through 491 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:27,600 Speaker 1: today is the fourteenth, and that'll take you all the 492 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:34,520 Speaker 1: way through March thirtieth bottomless Pancake promotion. Everyone can enjoy 493 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:39,800 Speaker 1: endless amounts of pancakes with the purchase of select combos. 494 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:43,320 Speaker 1: The combos that you need to buy are the Breakfast Sampler, 495 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:50,200 Speaker 1: Surloin Tips and Eggs, Split Decision Breakfast Chicken and Pancakes, 496 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 1: T Bone Steak and Eggs, and the Country Fried Steak 497 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:58,480 Speaker 1: and Eggs. Prices for the qualifying breakfast combos range from 498 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,720 Speaker 1: eighteen dollars twenty five dollars, so if you spent eighteen dollars, 499 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:06,080 Speaker 1: you're getting a couple of meals out of it, getting 500 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 1: a couple of meals out of it. The buttermilk pancakes 501 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:15,600 Speaker 1: are are They're pretty good. It's hard to screw up pancakes. 502 00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:17,480 Speaker 1: So those are the things you have to buy to 503 00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:19,520 Speaker 1: get that. What else do we have Pizza Hut launched 504 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 1: a ten dollars any Pizza deal nationwide, So if you're 505 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:29,480 Speaker 1: jones in for some pina for some pizza, there's that. 506 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,879 Speaker 1: And it's now to be clear. The ten dollars any 507 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:36,280 Speaker 1: Pizza deal includes up to five toppings on Pizza Huts 508 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:40,280 Speaker 1: medium or large, hand tossed, original, pan, thin and crispy, 509 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:45,360 Speaker 1: or Chicago Tavern style pizzas. It's valid for carryout orders 510 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:50,400 Speaker 1: placed online or via the Pizza Hut mobile app. Okay, 511 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:52,839 Speaker 1: thank you for that. What do we have? Chick fil 512 00:34:52,840 --> 00:35:00,080 Speaker 1: A debuting the new Jalapano Ranch Club Chicken Sandwich nationwide 513 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:04,440 Speaker 1: and they test marketed it in Salt Lake City? How 514 00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:08,000 Speaker 1: did that happen? For years? It was always Peoria. We've 515 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,879 Speaker 1: talked about that in previous episodes of The Fifth Hour. 516 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,080 Speaker 1: I know Lucky, Tony and Ferg Dog went back and 517 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,319 Speaker 1: listened to those I don't know about alf. I don't 518 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:20,439 Speaker 1: know about alf from maloprop Guy. However, the Chick fil 519 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:25,000 Speaker 1: A Jalapeno Ranch Club Chicken Sandwich woof tested in Salt 520 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,880 Speaker 1: Lake always used to be Peoria. The line, if it 521 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,640 Speaker 1: plays in Peoria, it'll play anywhere. Does that apply to 522 00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:37,560 Speaker 1: Salt Lake City, Utah. Okay, who goofed? I've got to know. Well, 523 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:41,040 Speaker 1: on crustables, that's something that didn't exist when I was 524 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,359 Speaker 1: a kid. We had those, we just didn't know that 525 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 1: would be a major money maker and all that stuff. 526 00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,719 Speaker 1: So the burst in blueberry flavor, we talked about that 527 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:54,200 Speaker 1: in a previous episode. Well, it turns out now the 528 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,800 Speaker 1: big news from Incrustables, the latest news coming down the 529 00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:04,600 Speaker 1: pipeline here is that this song, this summer crust list sandwiches, uh, 530 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:08,520 Speaker 1: having to having to wait for them to thaw will 531 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,319 Speaker 1: be a thing of the past because uncrustables are being 532 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:16,800 Speaker 1: upgraded to fridge friendly. Fridge friendly status. While you're still 533 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:21,120 Speaker 1: able to freeze the new uncrustables, you'll now be able 534 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 1: to store them in the fridge for up to five days. 535 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:29,160 Speaker 1: Oh my god, what kind of chemicals did they put 536 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:33,560 Speaker 1: in there? But that is from the VP of Marketing 537 00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:38,680 Speaker 1: at the J. M. Smucker Company. Here, you go, all right, 538 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,280 Speaker 1: very excited. What else do we have on food? 539 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:40,719 Speaker 2: He fun? 540 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 1: Holl ready for food he fun. 541 00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:45,360 Speaker 3: I don't know. 542 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,640 Speaker 1: As Taco Bell revealed this whole menu, I don't think 543 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,880 Speaker 1: we want to go there. That'll take too long. We'll 544 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,719 Speaker 1: get out on that. Have a wonderful Saturday. I know 545 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:54,879 Speaker 1: this podcast went a little longer than normal, and thank 546 00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:57,040 Speaker 1: thank you for staying to the very end. We'll have 547 00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 1: the mail bag on Sunday, hopeful Danny G will join 548 00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:07,520 Speaker 1: me on that. Have a wonderful Saturday, my felation Aloha,