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When Laurie mahaalik Levin, CEO of Mindful Return 29 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 1: and author of Back to Work After Baby, returned to 30 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 1: work as an attorney after maternity leave, she discovered she 31 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 1: could find a course on pretty much any baby related 32 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,479 Speaker 1: subject under the sun, but she couldn't find any resources 33 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:45,479 Speaker 1: to help her navigate the personal and professional identity transition 34 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: she was going through as she became a working parent. 35 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: Louri created Mindful Return to fill this gap. Employers come 36 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 1: and join the ranks of the ninety eight other organizations 37 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 1: that already offer the Mindful Return program as parental lead benefit. 38 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: If you're looking for a tool to retain your working parent, 39 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: top talent Mindful Return is for you. Before we start 40 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: this show, I want to take a moment to talk 41 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: about the Supreme Court's decision to take away women's right 42 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: to essential reproductive health care. This show is based on 43 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:26,400 Speaker 1: the privilege of choice, choice in every aspect of our lives. 44 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: I've been open about the fact that having children had 45 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: an impact on almost every facet of my life, but 46 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 1: I also chose to have those kids. There are so 47 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: many women who have had to make the difficult decision 48 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: of having an abortion. Having a child should be a 49 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: conscious decision, and if you're not prepared, for any reason whatsoever, 50 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: no one should be forced to have a child. This 51 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 1: podcast firmly believes in a women's right to bodily autonomy. 52 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,800 Speaker 1: I know this is an extremely heavy time for so 53 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 1: many of us, so take care and keep fighting. I 54 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: want you to know that this episode has references to 55 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 1: addiction and suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, 56 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:15,640 Speaker 1: call eight hundred two seven three eight two five five 57 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: the National Suicide Hotline, or call the Substance Abuse and 58 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 1: Mental Health Services Administration Hotline at one eight hundred sixty 59 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 1: six y two Help. Welcome to She Pivots. I'm your host, 60 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: Emily Tish Sussman. I had left my decade long political 61 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 1: career in DC after having my first two kids during 62 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: the Trump presidency, and felt burnt out after having my 63 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: third child, spending a year in lockdown with my family, 64 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: and another tough and exhausting election. I began to find 65 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: solace in the stories of women who had made these 66 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: big career decisions and then found success and happiness in 67 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 1: their I began to realize that so many women had 68 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: pivoted due to personal reasons, and they still found success 69 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: through non traditional packs. This new show celebrates these stories, 70 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: and I'm so excited to bring them to you with 71 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: She Pivots. Selena Samuela is well known in the world 72 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: of at home fitness as a star Peloton instructor. She 73 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:32,359 Speaker 1: hosts strength boxing and my personal favorite, the outdoor runs. 74 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: Her intense but warm classes encourage us to push ourselves 75 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 1: to the max. An Italian American immigrant, her journey to 76 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: Peloton began many years ago when she found a love 77 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:49,160 Speaker 1: for surfing and performing while living in Hawaii, but her 78 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 1: story is defined by a tragedy in her twenties. By 79 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: channeling the strength she found in the healing process. She's 80 00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 1: built a cult following or what she calls her fam. 81 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 1: What's up, Plato Fama? All right, what's up? Fam? We 82 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,600 Speaker 1: did it? Twenty minute glutes and legs, ten minutes just 83 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 1: in bad All right, fam, We've got forty five minute 84 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: rock at that boot camp coming up. This is our 85 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,280 Speaker 1: last rock at boot camp for a while. I'm going 86 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 1: on vacation. I'm Selena Samuela. Well, I guess now, I'm 87 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:25,479 Speaker 1: Selena Simula Virtue because I'm recently married, and I'm a 88 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: Peloton instructor and I teach classes on the tread and 89 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 1: on the mat so floor for strength, cardio and boxing, 90 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:38,039 Speaker 1: and I feel so honored and so blessed that I 91 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,599 Speaker 1: get to do this. This is my job that I 92 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,039 Speaker 1: get to do some of my favorite stuff. I get 93 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: to run, and I get to lift, and I get 94 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,919 Speaker 1: to celebrate some of my favorite artists. A lot of 95 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: people are familiar with you. Peloton is so huge. I 96 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 1: don't even know the numbers now, but it's all over 97 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 1: the country. I'm sure a lot of people are familiar 98 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,239 Speaker 1: with you, and those who are new to your classes 99 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: will soon learn, but don't always know that you're from Italy. 100 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: I'm from Italy. Yeah, you speak really without an accent. Yes, 101 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 1: So I moved to the States at like that perfect 102 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: age that they say you can lose an accent. So 103 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,159 Speaker 1: I moved to the States when I was in fifth grade. 104 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: I was born and raised in Italy. We did a 105 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,719 Speaker 1: little bit of back and forth in the first few years. 106 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: My dad was still in school and my mom is 107 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: from Italy. My father's American. And yeah, I moved to 108 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 1: the States when I was in fifth grade, and the 109 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: first thing I wanted to do was lose my accent, because, 110 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 1: as you probably know, kids can be kind of mean 111 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:41,839 Speaker 1: at that age, you know, I was an outsider. Especially 112 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 1: the town I moved to is called Elmira, New York, 113 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: and there was certainly no other foreign kids there. I 114 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:53,040 Speaker 1: was definitely the only immigrant in that school, and I 115 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,840 Speaker 1: was considered weird. How do you feel, I mean, you've 116 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 1: gone into a little bit, but how do you feel 117 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 1: like your immigrant experience has impacted your path that it's 118 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,599 Speaker 1: been such a huge catalyst because I had to learn 119 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 1: how to pivot, pivot and adjust like at such an 120 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: early age. You know, I was essentially taken away from 121 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: my home, my friends, my family, everything that I'd known 122 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: and like plopped in a new world and I had 123 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 1: to like figure out how to exist and find like 124 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 1: a new identity as an American girl. In fact, Selena 125 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: truly is an American, although she immigrated at a young 126 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 1: age from Italy, her father was a citizen. It was 127 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: perhaps the first of many times that she'd need to 128 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 1: straddle to identities because I was I was also an 129 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 1: American girl, and I, you know, like my dad's American, 130 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 1: Like I'm Italian, but I'm also American, and I was like, 131 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 1: I really wanted to stand my ground and like make 132 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: that known. So I think that, Yeah, I think that 133 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: being an immigrant played a huge role in how I 134 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 1: approached life, and I think it made it possible for 135 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 1: me to see the possibility and opportunity in the unknown. 136 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 1: I feel like that's such an important point to make, 137 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 1: that we're so quick to categorize people, but we are 138 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 1: you know, it's duality. It's more than that. We are 139 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 1: so layered and so many things and can be two 140 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: things at the same time. You can be Italian and 141 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 1: an immigrant and American at the same time. Yeah, And 142 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: figuring out how to figure out that path absolutely and 143 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: and it's also it was also a lesson in like, Okay, 144 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 1: this can be scary, but you can make it work. 145 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: Like it's scary, but it's worth it. So you've always 146 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,079 Speaker 1: been active and in Hawaii found a love of surfing, 147 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 1: but you also found acting around then. Yeah so when 148 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: So when I was in school in Hawaii, Yeah, I 149 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,520 Speaker 1: went to high school in upstate New York. That's you 150 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 1: know where I moved to Elmira, New York. I was 151 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,280 Speaker 1: there for junior high school, high school, and then I 152 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:53,720 Speaker 1: ended up going to Hawaii. And I went to school 153 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: in Hawaiian and I loved it, but I didn't feel 154 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 1: like I wasn't passionate about anything that I was doing, 155 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: Like none in my class as we're really like inspiring me. 156 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: I loved learning about new things. I studied a lot 157 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: of Hawaiian studies when I was there. I was obsessed 158 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: with surfing, so I wanted to learn everything about the land, 159 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 1: everything about the ocean, everything about this amazing culture that 160 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 1: cultivated and bred this like this sport that I was 161 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: so obsessed with, and via Aloha spirit, like all of 162 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 1: it just like really jibed with me, and I was 163 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 1: really just all about it. And I wanted also to 164 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: just like pay respect to the land, because I like, 165 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: I had such an appreciation for the land and I 166 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,839 Speaker 1: just wanted to, you know, give back. And I did 167 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff like organizationally, like locally, and that 168 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:35,600 Speaker 1: was really cool. But I still wasn't like this is 169 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:38,640 Speaker 1: my path, Like this is what I'm supposed to be 170 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 1: doing for the rest of my life. I didn't feel 171 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 1: that then, and so I'd always had this itch to perform. 172 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: I loved performing, and I think part of my obsession 173 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 1: with surfing too is that I actually had I had 174 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:52,959 Speaker 1: a chance to perform on a wave, like I was 175 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 1: creating my own art and my own expression. It was 176 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: like an expression session every time I was on a way, 177 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 1: like oh, this is me, this is you know. Selena 178 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: knew that she loved theater and performing when she was 179 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:08,439 Speaker 1: in high school back in New York. She had her 180 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: first taste of it. Although surfing filled part of that void, 181 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 1: she realized she was missing something and she was forced 182 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:19,679 Speaker 1: to really examine what brought her joy. When I came 183 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 1: to a moment where I had to pivot or felt 184 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,440 Speaker 1: like something was coming or felt like, you know, like 185 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 1: something needed to change, I would always take myself like 186 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 1: what made you really happy? It take myself back to 187 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,720 Speaker 1: that place, like what's something that made you really happy 188 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: that you didn't fully get to explore that like you 189 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 1: should do. And that's when I decided, you know what, 190 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna move to New York. I'm gonna study acting 191 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 1: and I'm going to write. I want to be a writer, director, 192 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: an actor. I want to do all the things. That 193 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: was really just what I felt I wanted to do. 194 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 1: So I did it. I just knew like there was 195 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: just something in me that like physically, I couldn't stay 196 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: there anymore. I had to try this thing out. And 197 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 1: I was like, I know, I can always come back 198 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: to Hawaii, but I need to try. And so I did. 199 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: I you know, dove in head first, and then a 200 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 1: lot of things happened from there. But that eventually did 201 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 1: lead me to Peloton in a really weird way. And 202 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: so that's where I ended up kind of leaning towards 203 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 1: like when I auditioned for UH I audition for a 204 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: number of schools. I auditioned for Yale, I auditioned for RATA, 205 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 1: I auditioned for Juilliard, and I always chose I would 206 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 1: choose one ingreeneu and like one kind of charactery character, 207 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: whether it was like, you know, you have to have 208 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: two monologues like Shakespeare and then contemporary. So I'd always 209 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 1: have one of each. And I wonder if I made 210 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 1: the wrong choice, because I always ended up choosing the 211 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: character you want, like the character actor piece, rather than 212 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 1: the like the ingreeneu. And I you know, I didn't 213 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:50,679 Speaker 1: get I didn't get picked. And so in that time 214 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 1: when you were acting, you met a boyfriend who eventually 215 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: became a fiance. Yeah, and so, I mean, this is 216 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:04,720 Speaker 1: a tough story, but yeah, so I met this amazingly talented, 217 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: smart just all the things, like checked all the boxes, 218 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 1: this person who wanted to do all the things I 219 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 1: wanted to do, wanted to act, wanted to direct, wanted 220 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,880 Speaker 1: to write, just such a talented writer. We were just 221 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 1: so we were so on par He even spoke more 222 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: languages than I did. Yeah, and I just fell head 223 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: over heels. Yeah, how did you guys meet? So we 224 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 1: met through a mutual friend. It was a friend's birthday party. 225 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,199 Speaker 1: And you know, I don't know, I just I think 226 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,959 Speaker 1: I was in a place where I was I got 227 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,320 Speaker 1: to a place like this a lot, but I had 228 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 1: already been like whatever, I don't you know, I'm like, 229 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,559 Speaker 1: I'm about my career, like I have this thing that 230 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,320 Speaker 1: I want to do, like I don't care about having 231 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 1: a boyfriend right now. And I was young. But it just, 232 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 1: you know, it happened as it does when you're in 233 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 1: your early twenties and didn't move kind of quickly. It 234 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:59,559 Speaker 1: moved so fast. It moved so so fast to the 235 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,640 Speaker 1: point where where I mean, now, looking back, I'm like, oh, yeah, 236 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 1: OUs obvious red flags that I just didn't understand because 237 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,200 Speaker 1: I was like twenty two or something, you know, I 238 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,440 Speaker 1: was so young. We were together for four years. Yeah, 239 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:15,320 Speaker 1: we moved in together really really quickly. I was in love. 240 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 1: I thought this was the person. We were going to 241 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 1: do everything, Like you said, we're going to conquer the 242 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: world together. We're just we're going to make it and 243 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 1: we're going to do amazing things. And it started off great. 244 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,559 Speaker 1: We were like bouncing ideas off each other, sharing our 245 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:31,199 Speaker 1: idea like our scripts, reading our work, you know, doing 246 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,240 Speaker 1: monologues together, stuff like that. It just felt so right. 247 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:39,719 Speaker 1: We moved in together, a first boyfriend I ever lived with, 248 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 1: and it just boom like felt like magic and it 249 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 1: was so amazing. Then six months into it, I learned 250 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:50,960 Speaker 1: that he was an addict, and I literally, in my 251 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 1: life had never experienced anything like that before. I don't 252 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 1: have any I didn't have any understanding of it, Like 253 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,440 Speaker 1: my parents don't really drink. There's no like alcohol, there's 254 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:05,839 Speaker 1: no addiction in my family. It didn't like so maybe 255 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 1: there were signs. I couldn't have picked up on them 256 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: because I wouldn't have known what they were. But six 257 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,600 Speaker 1: months into the relationship, there were It just became like 258 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 1: there were things that started happening that were like painfully obvious. 259 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: And then the more it became, you know, indoctrinated into 260 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 1: his world and became friends with his friends, it's the 261 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 1: pieces started kind of coming together and information started kind 262 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: of slipping, and I started to like kind of get 263 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,840 Speaker 1: the picture that this wasn't the first time, and that like, 264 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,440 Speaker 1: you know, the first time that he had had problems 265 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 1: with drug abuse and alcohol abust and that it was 266 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 1: like this is like a career for him. Essentially. It 267 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 1: was what was that conversation like when you found out? 268 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 1: I think that that's really when I started doing all 269 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 1: of the things things that now I understand are you know, 270 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:06,000 Speaker 1: the wrong things. But that's like when I started either 271 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 1: making excuses or coming up with ideas on how I 272 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,600 Speaker 1: was going to fix it. And like it's a great 273 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 1: quality that I have is that I want to help people, 274 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 1: and and I am very optimistic, and I can always like, Okay, 275 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 1: there's a way out of this, like we can do it. 276 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:25,320 Speaker 1: Like yeah, but it you know, in a case like this, 277 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:30,440 Speaker 1: it can be detrimental to to someone's well being and 278 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 1: to my own well being. But I was losing myself 279 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 1: in it regardless because and I think I don't know 280 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 1: if that was a good thing, because he would start 281 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 1: to do well and kind of get get into a 282 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:44,680 Speaker 1: good place where he wasn't abusing drugs or alcohol for 283 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 1: a while, and I'd be like, Okay, I see the 284 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 1: proof is in the pudding, like it works, like we're 285 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 1: doing it, and I would, but I was doing so 286 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: much of the work. I was doing so much of 287 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: the work. And I mean this is when people say, 288 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: like you can, like you can't want it for them, 289 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 1: They have to want it for themselves because like it 290 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 1: can work for a little bit, and it did, but 291 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: it will eventually fall apart. But in the process. I 292 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,960 Speaker 1: was really losing myself because all of my focus was 293 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 1: going to keeping him healthy and keeping him working. So 294 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 1: did it fight with your like, with your vision of yourself, 295 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 1: with your own ambition. Yeah. And I think it took 296 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: a while before I understood even understood that because I 297 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 1: got so lost and enveloped in him and his world. 298 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 1: I was just really like almost obsessive. It was toxic. Yeah, 299 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 1: I can only imagine. Yeah, And quite frankly, I don't 300 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: even really know how to ask this question, but I mean, 301 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 1: can you tell us what happened to him? Yeah? I 302 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 1: struggle with this for a number of reasons because I 303 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 1: want to be respectful to him, his memory as family 304 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 1: members who are remaining. But you know, I also think 305 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,720 Speaker 1: that it is a I think that there are probably 306 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,480 Speaker 1: many people out there that are experiencing something similar to me. 307 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 1: And I also think that this is not I'm not 308 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 1: an outlier. This is a prominent issue in our country 309 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,119 Speaker 1: right now. There are a lot of people that are 310 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 1: suffering from I mean, they call it like it's like 311 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,880 Speaker 1: essentially an epidemic, like's there's a real there's a problem. 312 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:30,719 Speaker 1: So lex was eventually like in our relationship, one of 313 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 1: the downs got really bad. I gave him an ultimatum. 314 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 1: He went to rehabit. He did really really well for 315 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 1: a while, eight months actually eight months clean seemed like 316 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:49,040 Speaker 1: it was we were on a good trajectory. He went 317 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: out to rehab in Los Angeles while I stayed in 318 00:17:52,320 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 1: New York. But he had a relapse and I Los Angeles. 319 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:21,640 Speaker 1: How did you manage that? I didn't at first, I 320 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: honestly did did nothing like. I did nothing. I froze. 321 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:33,439 Speaker 1: I mean I would, like, you know, cry and have 322 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 1: literally scream because I felt so powerless, and I myself 323 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:50,720 Speaker 1: had like I struggled with depression anxiety. I was very, 324 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 1: very sad. I was a sad person. I sheltered myself 325 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 1: from the world. I wasn't pursuing my career anymore. I 326 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:03,479 Speaker 1: stopped writing, I stopped I even stopped reading, Like, I 327 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 1: stopped doing most of anything except for feeling sorry for 328 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:13,520 Speaker 1: myself for almost an entire year. What was your support 329 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 1: system like then? Well, I shut a lot of people out. 330 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:22,919 Speaker 1: I don't like, I don't know what exactly got me 331 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:29,359 Speaker 1: to start trying again, or what like got me to 332 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,840 Speaker 1: recognize the hope that still existed. Do you remember was 333 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,640 Speaker 1: it like one moment when you started to see yourself 334 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: come out of it. Yeah, So I think it was 335 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 1: kind of a slow process. So it started, you know 336 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:45,480 Speaker 1: with like writing again. I started playing music again. I 337 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,879 Speaker 1: play guitar. I'm not great, but I play guitar and 338 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,399 Speaker 1: I like to I like to write songs. So I 339 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 1: started to do all the like cathartic stuff, right, the 340 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,879 Speaker 1: things that like again I knew that I like the 341 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,239 Speaker 1: things I loved, and like, find the things that you 342 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,280 Speaker 1: love and start doing them, or maybe find the things 343 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 1: you love and you haven't fully explored, and you know, 344 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,959 Speaker 1: started started working on my songwriting again, started working on 345 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 1: my even if I knew it wasn't necessarily going to 346 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 1: be a career, but just doing it to like get 347 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 1: it out, like and find a little joy maybe, Yeah, 348 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,879 Speaker 1: because even if I was writing sad songs, you know, 349 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,680 Speaker 1: or songs about my experience, there is catharsis and there 350 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,480 Speaker 1: is joy, and there's like there's you want to keep 351 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:28,040 Speaker 1: doing it, you know, because it feels good. Yeah. Do 352 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 1: you think you had felt guilty about finding joy during 353 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 1: that first year? That's I'm so glad that you brought 354 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,000 Speaker 1: that up, because I think that that that a lot 355 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: of that, A lot of my kind of pushing people 356 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: away had to do with guilt. Like I think there 357 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,439 Speaker 1: was a part of me that was like why, Like 358 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,919 Speaker 1: why do I get to like to not have the 359 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,639 Speaker 1: same kind of problems that you had, like and to 360 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: still be here and like like live. I think there 361 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,399 Speaker 1: was definitely like a part of me that was like 362 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 1: why my special There came a point where I I decided, 363 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,840 Speaker 1: you know, I started kind of a little by little 364 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 1: the journaling, the music did it, and then I was like, okay, 365 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,880 Speaker 1: what else, Selena like, let's go back, Let's really go back. 366 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 1: Let's let's find these like moments of like pure joy. 367 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,440 Speaker 1: And I was like moving my body, surfing in Hawaii, 368 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: going on your runs, having a routine. So that's when 369 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 1: I started doing some fitness classes in New York City, 370 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,440 Speaker 1: and then I was doing some like boxing for fitness classes. 371 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 1: And then I totally did this crazy thing. I dropped everything, 372 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 1: quit my bar jobs, quit like the all the stuff 373 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:39,720 Speaker 1: that was unhealthy, quit everything and went to Indonesia. As 374 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,600 Speaker 1: a person with a very deep voice. I'm hired all 375 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 1: the time for advertising campaigns, but a deep voice doesn't 376 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 1: sell b to be an advertising on the wrong platform 377 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,239 Speaker 1: doesn't sell B to be either. That's why if you're 378 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 1: a B to B marketer, you should use LinkedIn ads. 379 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,199 Speaker 1: LinkedIn has the targeting capabilities to help you reach the 380 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:01,639 Speaker 1: world's largest professional audience. That's right, over seventy million decision 381 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,840 Speaker 1: makers all in one place, all the big wigs, then mediumwigs, 382 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,400 Speaker 1: also small wigs who are on the path to becoming 383 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,000 Speaker 1: big wigs. Okay, that's enough about wigs. LinkedIn ads allows 384 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,399 Speaker 1: you to focus on getting your bt ME message to 385 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,440 Speaker 1: the right people. So does that mean you should use 386 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 1: ads on LinkedIn instead of hiring me, the man with 387 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,920 Speaker 1: the deepest voice in the world. Yes, yes, it does. 388 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: Get started today and see why LinkedIn is the place 389 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,760 Speaker 1: to be to be. We'll even give you a one 390 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 1: hundred dollars credit on your next campaign. Go to LinkedIn 391 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 1: dot com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn 392 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:40,119 Speaker 1: dot com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. Tired of 393 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:44,919 Speaker 1: ads interrupting your gripping investigations. Good news AD free listening 394 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 1: on Amazon Music is included with your prime membership. Ads 395 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 1: shouldn't be the scariest thing about true crime. Just head 396 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,119 Speaker 1: to Amazon dot com slash ad free True Crime, to 397 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,119 Speaker 1: catch up on the latest episodes without the ads, and 398 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 1: two thousands of Q shows a free for pun suscribers. 399 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:03,960 Speaker 1: Some show me how that her best friend from Hawaii 400 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,840 Speaker 1: was living there at the time, and after the trials 401 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 1: of the year before, she knew she just needed to 402 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,320 Speaker 1: get out. And I was like, you know what, I'm 403 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:13,560 Speaker 1: going to go out there and I'm going to surf 404 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:14,879 Speaker 1: and I'm going to spend time with one of my 405 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 1: kick ass girlfriends who's just a total badass, like living 406 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 1: her best life, like starting her own business, like doing 407 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,480 Speaker 1: the thing. And I was like, you know what, I'm 408 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 1: going to go out there. I'm going to just like 409 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 1: soak in all this like good energy for my girl, 410 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 1: and I'm just going to go out and surf every 411 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,120 Speaker 1: day and like try to recenter myself because at that point, 412 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 1: I was like kind of coming out of it. I 413 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 1: was like, all right, like you got to do something 414 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 1: like yeah, this isn't this isn't you like he died, 415 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:42,199 Speaker 1: you didn't, right, Like you you're alive and there's a 416 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,720 Speaker 1: reason why you're alive, and you like being alive, remember, 417 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 1: so come on, girl, get it together. Like so that's 418 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: what I did. I went out there, I and I 419 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,680 Speaker 1: I surfed and I read. I read tons of books. 420 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,880 Speaker 1: Oh my god. I was like I was a voracious 421 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,000 Speaker 1: reader to begin with it. That that summer, I was 422 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 1: like just ingesting so much so when I I did 423 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 1: end up going back to New York because I'm like, 424 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,919 Speaker 1: you're not done, you know, like this is this is 425 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,879 Speaker 1: there was a dream that you had go pursue your dream. 426 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,159 Speaker 1: Went back to New York. Was doing a lot of 427 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,919 Speaker 1: my fitness boxing stuff. One of my friends, who was 428 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:18,240 Speaker 1: a stunt coordinator, was like, you know, you're still trying 429 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:19,679 Speaker 1: to get your SAD card and you're still trying to 430 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,200 Speaker 1: do the acting thing right, And I'm like, yeah, totally 431 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 1: is like you should get into stunt work because you'll 432 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,640 Speaker 1: like you're perfect for it, Like you're you do all 433 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: these sports, like you're super fit and like, you know 434 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 1: the boxing thing, like you can make that your fight technique. 435 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:35,119 Speaker 1: And I was like, great, okay, sure, why not? So 436 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,200 Speaker 1: I went to stunt school. So that's how I kind 437 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,399 Speaker 1: of got into boxing, deeper into boxing because I was like, oh, 438 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,199 Speaker 1: I got to perfect this fight technique so I can 439 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,679 Speaker 1: look like a you know, real pro when I'm a 440 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 1: stunt when I get hired as a stunt person and 441 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,399 Speaker 1: then I got into like I got into boxing in 442 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 1: a real way. Somebody was like, you're pretty good at that, 443 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 1: you should fight, and so I started actually competing and boxing. 444 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,160 Speaker 1: But that's how I ended up getting recruit into teaching 445 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 1: group fitness. So there was like a little boxing shadow 446 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,040 Speaker 1: box was this. I don't know if it's still around, 447 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 1: but it was a boutique kind of fitness studio that 448 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: focused on boxing. And then I started doing personal training 449 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 1: as well, and I was like, this is a great 450 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:21,080 Speaker 1: This is so much better than you know, working in 451 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 1: a bar and trying to get a job as an actor. 452 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:24,960 Speaker 1: So at the time, I was still kind of had 453 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 1: this like dream that maybe I would still pursue acting, 454 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 1: but it was started to fade at that point because 455 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 1: the deeper I got in the fitness, the more I 456 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,560 Speaker 1: was just like, this is kind of like I'm utilizing 457 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 1: all the skills that that I'm like just naturally that 458 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,199 Speaker 1: I'm naturally good at, right, like being an athlete, but 459 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 1: also being a performer and being able to like convey 460 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 1: important information to like help help people kind of lift 461 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:52,119 Speaker 1: themselves up. Yeah, So it was just like this perfect 462 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,919 Speaker 1: fit this perfect marriage. This is perfect belonge of all 463 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 1: my skills, and I really was just enjoying doing the 464 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:02,200 Speaker 1: fitness thing. While teaching her classes, Selena found a strong 465 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 1: community and eventually met a student who would change her life. 466 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 1: Rebecca Kennedy was the master instructor for the Tribe program 467 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 1: and recruiter for Peloton, and she made a proposal to Selena, 468 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:19,919 Speaker 1: and she recruited me to audition for Peloton. And you know, 469 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,600 Speaker 1: Peloton's literally the dream job. It's all of the things 470 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,399 Speaker 1: that I love. It's all of the things. Do you 471 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 1: still get that same performing fix on camera even without 472 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,439 Speaker 1: the live audience? Honestly, it's so much better. I just 473 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 1: went to see a play yesterday and I just remembered 474 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 1: how hard acting is, and I was like, I get 475 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 1: to perform, but as myself, Like, right, it is so 476 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,280 Speaker 1: much better, Like I feel, it's not so heady. I 477 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 1: don't have to like get into this other headspace where 478 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,639 Speaker 1: I'm this other person and then come back to me 479 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,359 Speaker 1: and maybe get confused in the in between, which I 480 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,280 Speaker 1: think happens with a lot of like great performers. And 481 00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,840 Speaker 1: I just I'm like, I get to actually just be myself, 482 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 1: but also just like be a star for a moment. 483 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,000 Speaker 1: You know. I'm a Peloton user. I take all of 484 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,959 Speaker 1: your classes. I find them very inspiring over the last 485 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:16,120 Speaker 1: I started using Peloton right after I had my first 486 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,080 Speaker 1: kid about five years ago. But then I kind of 487 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,399 Speaker 1: dropped off in the middle because I had gained a 488 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,840 Speaker 1: lot of weight with my pregnancies and got really out 489 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,119 Speaker 1: of shape and it felt I don't know, I just 490 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,399 Speaker 1: I couldn't. I was like so depressed about it, like 491 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 1: everything just felt too much and depressing. And after the 492 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 1: third kid, during the pandemic, I thought, Okay, I've got 493 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:37,879 Speaker 1: to get my life together. I got to start doing this. 494 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,840 Speaker 1: And that was right around when you guys launched Peloton Outdoor. 495 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 1: So I started using the outdoor walks. I started with 496 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,439 Speaker 1: just the walks, and then I moved up to like 497 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 1: the walk runs, and then like got myself into the runs. Yes, 498 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 1: and I lost forty five pounds last year and five months. Oh, 499 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 1: that is so amazing. Congratulation. And I've taken all of 500 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,359 Speaker 1: your classes and did it with your classes, Oh my goodness. 501 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 1: And it really kept me going. Like I liked the 502 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 1: way that you spoke to me. It felt not judgmental. 503 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,879 Speaker 1: Like it was okay that I could start where I 504 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:16,160 Speaker 1: was starting. How do you prepare for your classes? There's 505 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:19,919 Speaker 1: so much encouraging conversation, like do you think about what 506 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 1: stories you're gonna tell ahead of time? Yeah? Sometimes? And 507 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,640 Speaker 1: I think that's that's great that you touched on that, 508 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,440 Speaker 1: that it's okay to start where you are. I mean, 509 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,680 Speaker 1: I think I'm just primed to tell that story because 510 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:36,440 Speaker 1: like I had to do that too, you know, And 511 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 1: and if I didn't do that, I wouldn't have gotten 512 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 1: anywhere at all. Like you, the best way to like 513 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 1: success is to start. You gotta start right, you know. 514 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 1: You know what's wild too, is all this I have 515 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,600 Speaker 1: these wild stories along the way from auditions that like, 516 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 1: from things that I didn't get that had I gotten them, 517 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,400 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be in the place that I am now. 518 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: One of the girls that worked the front desk at 519 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:03,960 Speaker 1: shadow Box auditioned this same year, same week that I 520 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 1: auditioned at Yale, did the monologue that I chose of 521 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:12,720 Speaker 1: the entree that I chose not to do, got into Yale, 522 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,960 Speaker 1: seriously got into Yale. And then she was working front 523 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,600 Speaker 1: desk and she was like, I hate my life. I 524 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 1: am so in debt, like I can't get any parts, 525 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:22,760 Speaker 1: and I was just like, oh my god, I could 526 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 1: be you. I mean, do you feel like you found success? 527 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,400 Speaker 1: Like what do you how do you define success to you? Well, 528 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:32,200 Speaker 1: I think that, Well, god, that's so hard. I think 529 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 1: there's so many different ways to define success. But I 530 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 1: think feeling, you know, right now, being married, being in 531 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,040 Speaker 1: a job that I love, working with people that I 532 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,000 Speaker 1: love to work with. We have such a great culture 533 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,840 Speaker 1: at Peloton, Like it's just it's such a great space 534 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,760 Speaker 1: to be creative. I don't actually I don't actually think 535 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:54,600 Speaker 1: about like what am I going to do next? Because 536 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about like what cool program and am I 537 00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 1: going to come up with next? So right now, my 538 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,800 Speaker 1: folks is like currently at Peloton and like how to 539 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 1: come up with like better content for the members. Selena 540 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,320 Speaker 1: has a way of connecting with her members. In her 541 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,880 Speaker 1: focus and drive to provide top tier instruction, she always 542 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:16,520 Speaker 1: makes sure to make space for anyone and everyone. She 543 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,520 Speaker 1: is a partner of the Trevor Project and continues to 544 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,240 Speaker 1: prioritize making safe spaces for anyone who takes her classes 545 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,200 Speaker 1: or comes across her platform. I think I definitely think 546 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,640 Speaker 1: about the member, and I think the member can be 547 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 1: so many different people, so I do try to think 548 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,000 Speaker 1: of a broad I try to be as inclusive as 549 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,680 Speaker 1: possible in my language, but I see myself in members. 550 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:40,600 Speaker 1: So in a way, I know this is going to 551 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,240 Speaker 1: sound really weird, but I like kind of it's like 552 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 1: how I talk to myself. So I talk to you 553 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,280 Speaker 1: in the way that I talk to myself because I'm like, 554 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:52,280 Speaker 1: I know I know how you feel because I am you. 555 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:56,280 Speaker 1: And you mentioned that you recently got married. How did 556 00:30:56,280 --> 00:31:00,120 Speaker 1: you meet your husband and was that When did you 557 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,320 Speaker 1: tell him? When did you tell him your story? I 558 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 1: told him my story like pretty right away, like early on, 559 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:10,720 Speaker 1: because some people could be spooked by something like that, 560 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,160 Speaker 1: and I just didn't want skeletons. I didn't want it 561 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,640 Speaker 1: to and I also didn't want to make it seem 562 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,720 Speaker 1: like it was that it was a trauma that I 563 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,200 Speaker 1: hadn't dealt with, and you know what I mean, that 564 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 1: it was something that was going to come up and 565 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,240 Speaker 1: affect us and the way that we could grow together. 566 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:32,080 Speaker 1: And had he met me maybe two years earlier, it 567 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,080 Speaker 1: would have been and I don't think I would have 568 00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,440 Speaker 1: been able to be comfortable telling him immediately, but I 569 00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,160 Speaker 1: told him right away and he was such a champ 570 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 1: about it. I think he just knew. He also knew 571 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:45,600 Speaker 1: that like that doesn't and that didn't define me, like 572 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,720 Speaker 1: you know, because he's just like such a cool dude. 573 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,560 Speaker 1: Was there was there anything? Just looking back now, is 574 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,920 Speaker 1: there something? Was there a moment in your life where 575 00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,120 Speaker 1: you felt like, Uh, this thing that is happening to 576 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,920 Speaker 1: me right now, this is insurmountable, like I don't know 577 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: how I'm going to get out of this, And now 578 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,520 Speaker 1: that you look back on it, it set you up 579 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:11,240 Speaker 1: on a positive trajectory. Yes. I think the year that 580 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,560 Speaker 1: I talked about where I did nothing and I was like, oh, this, 581 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:18,200 Speaker 1: I'm incredibly unsuccessful on the this is the opposite of 582 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,960 Speaker 1: the success story. I think that year was so important, 583 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 1: like allowing myself the space and the grace to grieve, 584 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,320 Speaker 1: to be sad, to not expect a lot out of 585 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: me because you can't. You can't when you're in that place. 586 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:42,760 Speaker 1: And to also understand that feelings can't be erased, they 587 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:46,600 Speaker 1: can't be fixed. You can metabolize feelings, you can kind 588 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:50,920 Speaker 1: of break it down, but you can't you can't like switch, 589 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:55,600 Speaker 1: you can't switch it on and off. Right. I think 590 00:32:55,680 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 1: that that was so so important, like learning basically learning 591 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 1: that in that time and giving myself that space and 592 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:09,920 Speaker 1: being able to say, like, you are worthy of something better, right, 593 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,440 Speaker 1: despite this ugly year that you had, you are worthy. 594 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 1: I think there's something that I say a lot in 595 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,960 Speaker 1: my class that if you don't take my class. It's 596 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 1: one of my favorite sayings is that fears are valid, 597 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:32,320 Speaker 1: but they're not trustworthy. Thank you so much, selenas'm well, 598 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 1: it's been a pleasure to have you on and Dolly, yes, 599 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:41,160 Speaker 1: so much fun. Thank you for having us. Selena still 600 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,480 Speaker 1: works as an instructor for Peloton. She has started for 601 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:48,160 Speaker 1: Rock That boot camp classes and is continuing to pursue 602 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,880 Speaker 1: the things that bring her joy. This spring, she married 603 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,800 Speaker 1: her husband, Matt Virtue in a dreamy Florida ceremony, and 604 00:33:55,840 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 1: they're now expecting their first baby. They live with their dog, Dolly, 605 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 1: who made a guest appearance during our interview. To learn 606 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:09,280 Speaker 1: more about Selena, follow us on Instagram at she Pivots 607 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:13,000 Speaker 1: the podcast. Thank you for listening to this episode of 608 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:17,000 Speaker 1: She Pivots. Writ talk with women about how their experiences 609 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,880 Speaker 1: and significant personal events led to their pivot and eventually 610 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,640 Speaker 1: their success. Leave a rating in comment if you enjoyed 611 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,399 Speaker 1: this episode wherever you listen to podcasts to help others 612 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,000 Speaker 1: learn about it. A special thank you to our partner 613 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,800 Speaker 1: Marie Claire and the team that made this episode possible. 614 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 1: Talk to you next week. Tired of ads interrupting your 615 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:52,920 Speaker 1: gripping investigations. Good news. AD free listening on Amazon Music 616 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,840 Speaker 1: is included with your Prime membership. Ads shouldn't be the 617 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 1: scariest thing about true crime. 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