1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio. 3 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 2: It's almost Famous podcast. 4 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 3: We are here today with a very special episode. We 5 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 3: have two people very close to me and my life. 6 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 3: My parents are joining us today, Dave and Amy Higgins, 7 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:18,800 Speaker 3: the newest grandparents of Wainona Elaine Higgins. I am an 8 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 3: only child actually, to remind everybody, and so this like 9 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 3: I'm their one and only shot at having a kid, grandchild. 10 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 2: I'm having a kid. Yeah, you're a grandchild. 11 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:34,839 Speaker 3: We are here in Evergreen, Colorado today because my parents 12 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,240 Speaker 3: have been out here. They came out five days before 13 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 3: when he was born. We have like the last five 14 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 3: days together, got to hang out and then they rented 15 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 3: an airbnb through the month, so they're here for another 16 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 3: week helping out around the house. We remodeled a bathroom. 17 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 3: We'll talk about all this stuff we've been up to 18 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 3: obviously hanging out with Winny a Ton. 19 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 2: It's been an amazing time. So we're gonna break down. 20 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 3: I think today, according to the notes that I have 21 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 3: what it's like to be grandparents. 22 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,679 Speaker 4: I know this is so exciting. 23 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 5: We've been talking to Ben so much, but I had 24 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,479 Speaker 5: no idea you guys were staying there for the entire month, 25 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 5: or you were there before the baby was born. I 26 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 5: love that idea. That's great for grandparents that live out 27 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 5: of state. I but hello, hello, and welcome to the podcast. 28 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 5: Mister missus Higgins. It's so lovely to have. 29 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 6: You, Thanks for having us. 30 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 2: Good to see you. 31 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,399 Speaker 4: Ashley, good to see too. 32 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,679 Speaker 5: You guys are so sweet and I'm so happy that 33 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,319 Speaker 5: your grandparents yees. Like Ben said, I do feel like 34 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 5: it almost adds a little special element being that you 35 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 5: do have an only child that like now you kind 36 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 5: of have your second child in a way in a 37 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 5: grand child. Tell us about the story in which Ben 38 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 5: told you that you were going to be grandparents. 39 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: That is David's Let him tell that story, because okay 40 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: was great. 41 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 6: Yeah. 42 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 7: So back around Father's Day, we drove out here in 43 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 7: r V and when we hit then in Jess's house. 44 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 7: We went in the house and we were probably not 45 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 7: even in the house for no more than five minutes actually, 46 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 7: and Jess goes, I want to see the RV. So 47 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 7: we go out and she presents me with a Father's 48 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 7: Day card and I'm going to mess up probably the 49 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 7: verbiage of it, but the key was. 50 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 6: You're not only you're not only a great father, you're 51 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,359 Speaker 6: also a great grandfather. 52 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:37,400 Speaker 4: Not a great grandfather. 53 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,920 Speaker 6: And I looked there and go, are you telling me something? 54 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 1: Girl? 55 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,919 Speaker 6: And she goes yep, And then everything went south from there. 56 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I love that. 57 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:52,359 Speaker 5: Oh that's awesome. How in the loop were you about 58 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 5: them trying to conceive? 59 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 2: Oh, I mean. 60 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 4: We knew when. 61 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: Kind of the timeline of when they thought they wanted 62 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: to start trying, and then we knew you know, a 63 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: lot about the just things that went into to that, 64 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,520 Speaker 1: and not a lot of detail, but we knew they 65 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: were actively trying, and so you know, we were patiently 66 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:21,240 Speaker 1: waiting for that big news someday. And yeah, no, it 67 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: was great. 68 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 3: Actually, I don't know if your parents were this way, 69 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,080 Speaker 3: and maybe it's just a memory I made up of 70 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 3: my head, but I felt like, like, in the most 71 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 3: healthy way possible, they've wanted to be grandparents since I 72 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 3: was like a child. Like I feel like they all 73 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 3: like they had a kid to be grandparents. 74 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 4: That was well, my mom was definitely like your biological 75 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 4: clock by a. 76 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 5: Grandma, you know, like once I was in my upper twenties, 77 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 5: she and then you know, she was always like, why. 78 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 4: Do you want to wait another like two years? You know, 79 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 4: blah blahlah blah. 80 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 5: We were married, It's like, mom, chill out. Yes, she 81 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 5: was very eager. My dad honestly didn't like give a crapola. 82 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 5: But then when the kids were here, my dad was 83 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 5: very excited about them. So, guys, I need to know 84 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 5: about how Ben has been as a dad so far. 85 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 5: Is he fitting the exact involved as you imagined? 86 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 1: You know? 87 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 6: I never had a doubt. 88 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, none of us did, but I just couldn't believe that. 89 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: Like even the very first time we met mynah at 90 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 1: the hospital and she needed to diaper change. 91 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 6: I mean, this. 92 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: Boy picked her up, took her ride over, started in, 93 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,280 Speaker 1: told me all about the proper ways that you were 94 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 1: supposed to clean a baby girl up and be careful 95 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: of her umbilical cord, you know, and just was diapering 96 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 1: this brand new baby up. And I just was I 97 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 1: was just thrilled. 98 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 8: I knew he was born for it good, you know, 99 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,679 Speaker 8: I mean, he's just he's just such a tender person anyway, 100 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 8: So now it didn't surprise me at all that he 101 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,960 Speaker 8: jumped right in there, but it was it was just 102 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 8: too sweet to see. 103 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,040 Speaker 6: I'll tell you I had. 104 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,840 Speaker 2: To watch a lot of videos. It's front to back. 105 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 3: Just let everybody know when you have a baby girl, 106 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 3: you have to make sure you go front to back. 107 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:14,720 Speaker 2: Un wipe. 108 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 5: Yes, guys, have you been How was your role been 109 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,600 Speaker 5: at the house. I know you're probably trying to balance 110 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,359 Speaker 5: that delicate line that is like being helpful but not 111 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 5: being overbearing. 112 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, how do you think we've managed that? 113 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 6: I think pretty well. You know, it is very interesting. 114 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 7: When we first got back from the hospital, Ben and 115 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 7: Justin bte us over and they kind of had this plan, 116 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 7: this daily plan as far as here's the feeding, here's 117 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:49,160 Speaker 7: the quiet time, here's when we need some help. So 118 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 7: they did a really great job of laying that out. 119 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 7: And like Ben said, you know, we had some projects 120 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 7: to do as a bathroom model, that type of thing. 121 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 7: So it was really well planned by those two and 122 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 7: it made it made it easy. 123 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: I have to say, I was so thankful after the 124 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 1: first the couple first days that the kids took guests 125 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: work out of it for us to so that we 126 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 1: didn't feel like awkward and what do we do with ourselves? 127 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 1: They set out a really nice timeline and. 128 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 6: I really appreciated it because it's worked. 129 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,159 Speaker 1: Really I think it's worked really well, and we've been 130 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: very productive. We've got a lot of great things done, 131 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:36,040 Speaker 1: and I think for me, a lot of it has 132 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: just been that freedom to know not only what our 133 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,680 Speaker 1: expectations they expected from us, but just to be able 134 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 1: to spend enough time that we can watch the two 135 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: of them as new parents. And I tell you, Jessica 136 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,159 Speaker 1: is the m them both are just rocking it that 137 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,040 Speaker 1: I can't be more proud of. 138 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 2: Them than well, just they're crushing it. 139 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 6: They're crushing it. 140 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:02,840 Speaker 3: There's a you know, when we got home, so originally Ashley, 141 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:07,280 Speaker 3: about a month ago, I had this really solid thought 142 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 3: in my head, I want to spend the first two 143 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 3: nights without anybody coming. 144 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 2: Over at home. 145 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 3: Well that didn't really work out because Jess's family, based 146 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 3: on when we had Winnie, their last day in Denver 147 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 3: was the day we got home from the hospital, and like, 148 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 3: we're not going to tell them, hey, sorry, don't come over, 149 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 3: we want them over. 150 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,120 Speaker 2: And so they came over. 151 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:29,240 Speaker 3: And then that night Jessica and I sat and talked 152 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 3: and said, hey, what do we want out of these 153 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 3: first couple of weeks? 154 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 2: And part of that was okay. 155 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 3: We won a few days just us to kind of 156 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 3: get in start getting into that routine of what it's 157 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 3: going to look like. 158 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 2: But we also want. 159 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 3: People around because that's really fun to like experience, and 160 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 3: so we set up like a schedule because I think 161 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 3: the best communication is the clearest communication. It also is 162 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 3: very important to note that my family does not sit 163 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:01,239 Speaker 3: well ever, and so we had to have a project, 164 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 3: and so we did. We remodeled the bathroom in the 165 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 3: course of this month. That's great that they help with 166 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 3: and so it's gone really great. I mean they've gotten 167 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,200 Speaker 3: good time with Winnie, They've gotten to get the memories 168 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 3: of seeing. 169 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 2: You know, us start to become parents. 170 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 3: And then also we've gotten a lot done around the 171 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 3: house that's going to be really helpful for us for 172 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 3: the future. 173 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 4: That's perfect. You guys have the right mentality. 174 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 2: Super quality time with Whalen man. Yeah, and the dog. 175 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 3: Ben. 176 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 5: What's your relationship with Whalen now? Because I told him, 177 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 5: I was like, you are going to of course love 178 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 5: Whalen still, but he will not no longer be your baby. 179 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 2: You're wrong. It's closer than ever. 180 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 4: And that's just because he's so obsessed with winning. 181 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,960 Speaker 3: It really is because he's made it so easy, like 182 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 3: he's been the best dog to her. 183 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 2: He licks her in the morning, he looks her at night. 184 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 2: It's so and then he kind of leaves her alone 185 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 2: the rest of the day. But if she naps on 186 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:58,719 Speaker 2: the couch and her like. 187 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 3: Sleepy pillow thing, he lays his head right next to 188 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,080 Speaker 3: hers and falls asleep too. 189 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 4: That's so cute. 190 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 3: I just like and so nowadays, like my we have 191 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 3: a very similar team. You want to get him out, 192 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,719 Speaker 3: so I walk with him a lot, whereas I'm so 193 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 3: proud of that dude. 194 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 2: He's the best. 195 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's really sweet of him. 196 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 5: What is your biggest piece of advice for Ben now 197 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 5: that he is a father, If you could like go 198 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,439 Speaker 5: back in time and give yourselves advice about parenting, what 199 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 5: would it be? 200 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 4: I know this is like a huge vague question, but 201 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 4: or not. 202 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,479 Speaker 2: Just me, anybody listening to Yeah, of course, like anybody. 203 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:49,400 Speaker 9: Yeah, okay, I think for me, I'm not speaking for David, 204 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 9: but for me I and it's been one of my 205 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:59,199 Speaker 9: things even when we were raising Ben, was too not 206 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 9: only just do your best to raise a healthy human. 207 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 7: But. 208 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 1: To be willing to kind of be patient and struggle 209 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:15,599 Speaker 1: through the what it takes to raise an individual like 210 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: so give them, Give your child, even as a newborn, 211 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: even the opportunity to kind of learn for themselves the 212 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: things that. 213 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,960 Speaker 5: They like, or to. 214 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:38,200 Speaker 1: Explore different options and have conversations, to have a healthy 215 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:43,440 Speaker 1: environment to agree or disagree. And you know, I think 216 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: that starts early on, even you know, And so for me, 217 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 1: that's I just always wanted to make sure that I 218 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 1: was raising a child who learned to know themselves. 219 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 6: So I don't know about you. 220 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,840 Speaker 7: Yeah, well, it's been fun to witness it from our 221 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 7: aspect because Ben and Jess have just absolutely done a 222 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 7: great job. 223 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 6: And you know, one of the things that I would encourage. 224 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 7: Him to do is to to live in the moment 225 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 7: because these moments are so special right now, Yeah, and it. 226 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,599 Speaker 6: Goes fast and yeah, you know, you know how it 227 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 6: was really really fast. 228 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 7: So I think what they've done at this point in time, 229 00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:32,239 Speaker 7: the foundation that they've laid, has been absolutely marvelous. 230 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,559 Speaker 6: And uh, it's been fun to witness it really is 231 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 6: so sweet. 232 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,719 Speaker 3: The one thing when people say like, well, what was 233 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,200 Speaker 3: the differentiator with your childhood? You know, obviously being an 234 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:48,599 Speaker 3: only child, people have their you know, assumptions of what 235 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 3: life was like growing up. And that was one thing 236 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 3: that was always really good about our HOUSEPLD was I 237 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,120 Speaker 3: was never spoiled. 238 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 4: You only had balls. I know this, that's the only 239 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 4: toy you got. That's the only toy. 240 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:02,559 Speaker 2: Yeah, I have any I mean literally, if you asked them, 241 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 2: I would say, YE had a closet full. But but 242 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,200 Speaker 2: the like I probably was. 243 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,440 Speaker 3: They went a little like on the opposite of spoiling. 244 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 3: Like it was never this entitlement. You get what you want, 245 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 3: you get what you asked for. 246 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 1: It was. 247 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 3: I never grew up feeling like I was owed anything, 248 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 3: which is I think a really healthy way to grow up, 249 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,319 Speaker 3: because you don't grow up going the world owes me something. 250 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,319 Speaker 3: I think The second side of that, which I've always 251 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,440 Speaker 3: said and they know, is there was our house always 252 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 3: had open dialogue. So hey, you know as small as 253 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,480 Speaker 3: like I don't want to clean my room, Like why 254 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 3: would I clean my room today? 255 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 2: I'm going to sleep in it tonight. 256 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 3: And being able to have those conversations to because when 257 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 3: you're a child, you don't have logic to talk through, 258 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:51,000 Speaker 3: you know, respect, cleanliness, hygiene, and like be able to 259 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,599 Speaker 3: have that explain to you other than just themnds that 260 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 3: some adult gives a child I think really helps a 261 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 3: child like under like get a picture of what we're 262 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 3: in the world and what doesn't. 263 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,680 Speaker 2: And then as you get older, you. 264 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 3: Have the ability to still ask those questions and stay 265 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 3: curious on why is this the way it is or not? 266 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 3: And I think those are two things that always stand 267 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 3: out to me. That was uniquely different, probably than other households, 268 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 3: but set me up to not be devastated by the 269 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 3: world once I like got on my own. 270 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,559 Speaker 5: Oh that makes me feel good because I feel like 271 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 5: I do that with Dawson now. When I tell him 272 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 5: we're he needs to do something, even if it's as 273 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,959 Speaker 5: simple as getting dessert after dinner, I'm like, okay, so 274 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,480 Speaker 5: let me explain to you the situation. 275 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 4: And that makes you feel like, oh, I'm doing I'm 276 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 4: using a little Higgins family tippit. 277 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 2: I love it. 278 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 5: Guys, what was the hardest age a parent been at 279 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 5: other than teen? 280 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:47,199 Speaker 3: Don't like, I think because everybody will say teen. Everybody 281 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,359 Speaker 3: asked us who says teenage years? And I think that's unfair. 282 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:50,960 Speaker 2: Because it comes times. 283 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 4: Boys are different. 284 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 5: Almost all girl parents say that teenage years are the hardest, 285 00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:01,440 Speaker 5: but sometimes boy parents are when they're younger me David, Well. 286 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:06,680 Speaker 1: I know for me, my hardest parenting times were six 287 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:11,719 Speaker 1: months to twelve months Okay, before he was walking. He 288 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:12,719 Speaker 1: waited too much. 289 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 4: Thank you for validating my feelings on this. 290 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I just was like, man, this is ridiculous. 291 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 1: He can't breathing for himself. 292 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 2: He's heavy. 293 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:27,200 Speaker 1: This child has to learn to walk. My back is breaking. 294 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 1: And it really wasn't until he started to walk that 295 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: I thought, Oh, hell loujah, I'm going to survive. 296 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 4: So okay, because that's where I'm at now. 297 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 5: I even apologize to Hated yesterday because he's seven months 298 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 5: and I do find that hard. I would say, I 299 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 5: think you're probably right with the six months to a year. 300 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 5: I sometimes say like four months to like tennish when 301 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 5: they start crawling. I feel like I was like apologizing 302 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 5: to him because I was like, I'm sorry that your 303 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 5: brother gets interacted with all day long. It's just like 304 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 5: you're at this weird age where we don't know what 305 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 5: to do with you, Like, am I supposed to just 306 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,960 Speaker 5: like jingle toys that you you can't move, You have 307 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 5: to stay in one place all day. You don't understand anything. 308 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:14,880 Speaker 5: You have absolutely zero independence, like yes, so thank you. 309 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 5: I do think that this is the hardest stage because 310 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 5: they're very cognizant to what's going on around them. 311 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 4: However, they can't really interact. 312 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: I agree, Yeah, yeah, okay, how about you, dear. 313 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 7: Well, I would say probably more along the lines when 314 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,359 Speaker 7: Junior highe probably hits. 315 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 6: Yeah. 316 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 7: I mean, but you know, that's when all the guys 317 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:38,200 Speaker 7: show up at the house and crazy stuff starts going on, 318 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:43,920 Speaker 7: and and sleepovers are happening, and mom and dad get 319 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 7: very few hours of sleep because a lot of stuff's 320 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:51,240 Speaker 7: going on down the basement. And you know, that was 321 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:55,360 Speaker 7: probably a difficult time for me personally because I was 322 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 7: pretty regimented and you're still working. 323 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, and uh, i'd say, barbaly. 324 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 2: That period of time, it goes fast, right though. I 325 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 2: mean the way like I think when you're in it. 326 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 3: I think the perspective, like they said, enjoy the moments 327 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 3: are something I'm learning already because when he turns three 328 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 3: weeks old today, which is not old, but it's three weeks, 329 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 3: feels like it's flown by. Yeah, that's twenty one days 330 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 3: of waking up and seeing her face. But then you 331 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 3: think about like middle school and how hard that has 332 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 3: to be on a parent, right you have, like you said, 333 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 3: sleepover is not getting much sleep. You're the kids are 334 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 3: starting to get into things they should not be getting into. 335 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 3: But that goes by in two years and then that's 336 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 3: done and then all of a sudden you're on your 337 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 3: you know, fast track to high school to college and 338 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 3: then off and running. And so I think there is 339 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 3: always this really important lesson of perspective of time, even 340 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 3: in the midst of like these crazy seasons. 341 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 5: Yes, is there anything that Ben has been stressing over 342 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 5: already or you foresee him stressing over in the future 343 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:08,399 Speaker 5: that you just having gone through it, you are like, no, no, 344 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 5: please do not stress over that. 345 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 4: Oh there's something already. She's looking at him loving. 346 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:20,840 Speaker 1: It's just hysterical because when they first been talked about 347 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,600 Speaker 1: having babies, maybe even before he and just were married, 348 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,440 Speaker 1: he's like, well, I just can't raise a girl. There's 349 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,680 Speaker 1: just no way I can't raise a girl. And I said, 350 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 1: do you realize by saying that you're gonna have like 351 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,119 Speaker 1: four girls? 352 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 8: Now? 353 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,000 Speaker 4: I think they're going to have all girls. 354 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 1: And I'll tell you what, and immediately I can't imagine anything, 355 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:45,200 Speaker 1: but this boy at this moment having a little girl. 356 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 9: I mean, yeah, she is. 357 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,240 Speaker 1: He loves I mean, it's just all over his face 358 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,640 Speaker 1: how much he just loves watching her. And she already, 359 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 1: you know, likes to snuggle on his chest and it's 360 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: just and he's going to be great no matter what 361 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,560 Speaker 1: babies he has. But he literally was like stressing over 362 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,879 Speaker 1: the fact of having a girl. And now already I 363 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 1: can see it going, Ah. 364 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,359 Speaker 2: This is amazing. I have a little girl. Yeah, he paints. 365 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 2: He paints the nursery right off the bat. You'll pink. 366 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you'll be fine. 367 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 4: Oh he is Danny Tanner. 368 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 5: Okay, he's gonna have like three girls plus, and he's 369 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 5: going to act Jess as a wonderful and wholesome with 370 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 5: them and be the perfect guide to life, just as 371 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:30,399 Speaker 5: Danny was. 372 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 3: The Interesting Ding Ashley, Jessica and I were talking about 373 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 3: this last night when I told her that they were 374 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,160 Speaker 3: going to jump on the show today. 375 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 2: You know, we did this episode with just jess and 376 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,720 Speaker 2: I a few days before when he was born, and. 377 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,200 Speaker 3: We kind of I think at the end you asked 378 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,399 Speaker 3: us questions, who's going to stress more, Who's gonna, you know, 379 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 3: worry more and all this stuff, and we answered those 380 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,920 Speaker 3: as honestly as we could. I will say, Jessica like, 381 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,560 Speaker 3: and I think I said this right away, but it's 382 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 3: making more sense to me now, Like she's changed in 383 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,000 Speaker 3: the best of ways, like the only beautiful of ways, 384 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 3: the most like I'm so just like proud to be 385 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 3: her husband, excited to be her husband, but like she 386 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,040 Speaker 3: is all over it. And when I say all, like, 387 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:13,159 Speaker 3: they can see this. Like Jessica was somebody who was 388 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:17,240 Speaker 3: fairly aloof in like her daily life, but always so intelligent, 389 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 3: but like would forget random things of the house or 390 00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 3: you know, not see something that was on the floor. 391 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,159 Speaker 2: Something's changed inside of that person. Like she is on 392 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 2: top of it. She knows Whennie so well, she cares 393 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 2: for Winnie so well. 394 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:38,280 Speaker 3: We started today a new ritual where jess has to 395 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 3: leave the house by herself for twenty minutes, just for 396 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,520 Speaker 3: twenty minutes to like start getting in the like the 397 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 3: muscles to leave because. 398 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 2: She is, like she is so in love and so 399 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,440 Speaker 2: a tune that if not like I don't. 400 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,159 Speaker 3: I don't know what it would look like, but I 401 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,879 Speaker 3: haven't had to worry, like I haven't had to stress 402 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,880 Speaker 3: like everybody like one step ahead all day long. 403 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 4: Oh that's so awesome. I love that. 404 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 5: I wouldn't expect anything less from her. That is exactly 405 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:19,639 Speaker 5: what I pictured. If you guys could give Ben and 406 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 5: Jests some advice as to how to get through these 407 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,760 Speaker 5: first couple of years of parenting as a couple, because 408 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 5: this can kind of be a it's not a tumultuous time, but. 409 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 4: A time where it's just it's it's just can be 410 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 4: rough on a relationship. How was it for you and 411 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,400 Speaker 4: how what kind of advice can you give to him? 412 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 1: Well, first of all, I mean, don't I guess I 413 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 1: don't know how to say this. Don't forget who your 414 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:56,679 Speaker 1: first covenant of love is with. Yeah, and that that person, 415 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,280 Speaker 1: even though it sounds harsh, always comes first because it 416 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 1: all started with that first promise. 417 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 3: And so. 418 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,920 Speaker 1: Figure out how you can do your date nights. I'll 419 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,119 Speaker 1: tell you Ben was five months old and Damon and 420 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:17,159 Speaker 1: I left on a four day cruise together just to 421 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,720 Speaker 1: have some time. I mean it was you know, it 422 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:20,920 Speaker 1: wasn't hardly four days. 423 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 4: Jared and I went to Paradise when Dawson was five 424 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 4: months old. 425 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,399 Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go and don't shame yourself for that. 426 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 2: Don't feel bad about. 427 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:35,920 Speaker 1: That, find your healthy place to let your child spend 428 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,920 Speaker 1: with your parents or whoever it might be. Let it 429 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,200 Speaker 1: go and go be with the person that helped you 430 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 1: make that baby, and celebrate yourselves. 431 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,159 Speaker 2: I don't know, what do you. And we've done that 432 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:52,080 Speaker 2: our whole life. I mean, David and I have ritually. 433 00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:55,439 Speaker 1: Even forty two years later, still date regularly. 434 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:59,640 Speaker 7: So, yeah, you know, our situation was such it took 435 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:04,720 Speaker 7: us many years seven yeah, many years, and and a 436 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,520 Speaker 7: lot of effort just to be able to have one 437 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,200 Speaker 7: child in the midst of yeah, in the midst of 438 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:11,920 Speaker 7: a lot of other stuff that happened in our life. 439 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,119 Speaker 7: But you know, it is such a godsend. It is 440 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,240 Speaker 7: such a blessing to be able to have a child 441 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,959 Speaker 7: and really that partnership. 442 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 6: To be able. I mean, you know, you dream about 443 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,720 Speaker 6: it and then when it finally. 444 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:30,560 Speaker 7: Happens, there's just natural thing that happens, and I don't know, 445 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,919 Speaker 7: I sit back and I will it's been a blessing 446 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:38,640 Speaker 7: for three weeks to watch Ben and Jess because when 447 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 7: Ben can read Jess, you can tell if just is 448 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 7: the point where I need a little bit of help. 449 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:50,080 Speaker 6: Ben's there. If it's the other way around, Ess is 450 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 6: there for Ben. And it's been fun to watch that. 451 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 6: It really has been. 452 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,359 Speaker 7: And it takes me back to the days when we 453 00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:00,359 Speaker 7: were together as a partner with a little kid raising 454 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,200 Speaker 7: a Yeah we're still there forty two years so, but 455 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:05,800 Speaker 7: it's been fun to watch. 456 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:07,280 Speaker 6: It really has been. 457 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,680 Speaker 2: I think, Ashley, I always knew. 458 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 3: I don't know how to say this, Oh, I do 459 00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:17,119 Speaker 3: have to say, like I was always their child and 460 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 3: I always felt loved, But I always knew their relationship 461 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,480 Speaker 3: to each other was different than their relationship to me 462 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 3: growing up, Like it was never a question to me 463 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:29,840 Speaker 3: on how they saw each other or what did come first, 464 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 3: Not that I felt like I came second, but that their. 465 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,880 Speaker 2: Relationship was, you know, a priority. 466 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,879 Speaker 3: And also I think as a child, and I know 467 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,200 Speaker 3: you felt this way, Ashually, I think seeing your parents 468 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 3: still date is such a cool thing. Like it probably 469 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 3: you know you might cry because they leave you and 470 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,000 Speaker 3: you're sad. 471 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:50,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, I hated it, but like I know what you're 472 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:51,000 Speaker 4: talking about. 473 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:54,119 Speaker 3: Like you look back on it now as a married person, 474 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 3: you're looking at it going that was a beauty, Like 475 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 3: that's a beautiful lesson that I was like taught was 476 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:00,879 Speaker 3: that they still need their time together. 477 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,159 Speaker 2: And then I wasn't always involved in that. 478 00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 4: Do you know it's hilarious when Jar did I hug kiss, 479 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 4: Dawson goes. 480 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 5: And it's kind of nice to see that reinforcement that, 481 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 5: like he's three, but he still appreciates the sweetness. 482 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:25,160 Speaker 2: That's so good. 483 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,159 Speaker 1: And then a lot of times we would do that 484 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 1: and then after David I'd had our moment of kissed 485 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: or whatever, when you come up, then we go family hug. 486 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:38,000 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so would get their little sugar. 487 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 4: That you should keep that up too. We need to 488 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 4: do that more with Lois. Okay, my my, I want 489 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:48,800 Speaker 4: to I want to throw it over to you. 490 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:49,120 Speaker 2: Ben. 491 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,119 Speaker 5: You can ask your parents in the next couple of 492 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 5: minutes as we wrap up, questions that you think that 493 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,399 Speaker 5: that you have for them that should be broadcast everyone. 494 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think you asked all the I 495 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,679 Speaker 3: mean I really was interested in the like keeping your 496 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:10,520 Speaker 3: relationship a priority. I think they have great lessons to 497 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,680 Speaker 3: teach everyone on that because they've done it and they've 498 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,520 Speaker 3: been married for forty two years, and so that was 499 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,880 Speaker 3: really where I wanted to go with it. I think 500 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,119 Speaker 3: there's two things that I want to ask really one 501 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,680 Speaker 3: question and the one thing I want to stall to 502 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,480 Speaker 3: talk about. The question is when you set a child 503 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 3: up with a firm foundation for the future. So like, 504 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 3: when he's three weeks old, she doesn't really understand life 505 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 3: at all, but she will. Dawson's three, he's starting to 506 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 3: understand life. What like when you looked at how this 507 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 3: child was being molded, taught, what they were listening to 508 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,639 Speaker 3: from the outside world that they would accept or what 509 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,880 Speaker 3: they would push away, Like, how did you guys navigate 510 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 3: those conversations on what how you should build up a 511 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:51,440 Speaker 3: child with that foundation? 512 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,440 Speaker 1: Well, I think for me, no matter what you want 513 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,680 Speaker 1: to call it, whether it be a faith or moral 514 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:05,120 Speaker 1: standards or or whatever, that as we were teaching been 515 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:11,200 Speaker 1: things that we felt formed firm foundations for life that 516 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,240 Speaker 1: we weren't just teaching him. That we weren't just taking 517 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,880 Speaker 1: him to Sunday school and then coming home and doing 518 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,200 Speaker 1: our thing. That had to be modeled. So whatever it 519 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 1: is that you're choosing to use to build a foundation, 520 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:29,399 Speaker 1: a firm foundation with your child, for your child for 521 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,879 Speaker 1: the future, it needs to be modeled. 522 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:36,439 Speaker 2: So for me, that was important. It didn't always look pretty. 523 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,200 Speaker 1: There was failures in that, but there was also in 524 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 1: the midst of the failures there was a lot of 525 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 1: honesty we learned. 526 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,200 Speaker 2: I learned early on. 527 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,359 Speaker 1: I know David did too. I have typed out proof 528 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,960 Speaker 1: of it that sometimes you have to say you're sorry. 529 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,760 Speaker 1: Even as a parent, you have to say you're sorry 530 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 1: to your child when you know you screwed up, or 531 00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 1: when things just didn't work out whatever. So for me, 532 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 1: it was just modeling what I felt was important to 533 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: build a foundation. 534 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 2: For my child. 535 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 7: So I will agree with all that, and I think 536 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 7: at the same time to be able to be everybody 537 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:21,320 Speaker 7: best friends, because you know, you sit back and you 538 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 7: think about the times I remember taking Ben to a 539 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,760 Speaker 7: golf course with little golf clothes about this long, and 540 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 7: all of a sudden, I see my son down the 541 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,920 Speaker 7: sand trap hitting a beautiful shot on the ninth hole, 542 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,840 Speaker 7: and everybody out of clubhouse comes out and starts clapping, 543 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 7: and from a. 544 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:44,919 Speaker 6: Other standpoint, I just beamed. But you know, you create 545 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:45,400 Speaker 6: a lot. 546 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:49,639 Speaker 7: Of special moments as you're young that transfer throughout the lifetime. 547 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,119 Speaker 7: And you know, just Sunday, Ben and I walk the 548 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 7: golf course together and you know, you just sit back 549 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,360 Speaker 7: and you think about how you're planning all those seeds 550 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 7: and how it takes off and it finally grows into 551 00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:03,680 Speaker 7: something so magical later. 552 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:04,280 Speaker 2: On down the road. 553 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:07,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, and just to play off of that, I do 554 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,880 Speaker 1: feel like David and I were very intentional. I'm sure 555 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 1: Ben can validate this on building a village around our son. 556 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 1: We had a really strong community of people, whether that 557 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 1: be our neighbors that we became friends with, whether it 558 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:29,280 Speaker 1: would be you know, church, family coaching. Just we made 559 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,520 Speaker 1: sure that there were a lot of people in Ben's 560 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 1: lives that could fill a gap where we were not 561 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 1: necessarily gifted in certain things like strong discipline or yeah, 562 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 1: you know, just anything. And so I really feel like 563 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 1: we were very intentional about building a village around our family. 564 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 565 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 3: I never I never grew up as an only child 566 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 3: ever feeling like we didn't have people around us. And 567 00:28:56,440 --> 00:29:00,320 Speaker 3: I also say, you know, it's something like our family 568 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,840 Speaker 3: was built on a firm foundation of faith, and so 569 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:08,000 Speaker 3: everything spurred from that. And so you know, every relationship, 570 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:14,560 Speaker 3: every activity, every way we'd like process a difficulty, an illness, 571 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,320 Speaker 3: whatever that bay be, it was always coming from that place. 572 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 2: And so for us. 573 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 3: I think the answer that I would have to say, 574 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:24,560 Speaker 3: like the foundation was built on faith in Jesus, and 575 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:28,600 Speaker 3: then when it comes to life, I think the community 576 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 3: that was gathered around, you know, pushed us all and 577 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,360 Speaker 3: in some type of direction, you know, and we never 578 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 3: felt alone in that, you know, in that pursuit and 579 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:45,240 Speaker 3: so and even today those relationships still exist. So I 580 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 3: think that was always very clear to me and always 581 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,400 Speaker 3: give me the backing. The final thing Ashley, I want 582 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,720 Speaker 3: to talk about today is something that Jessica and I 583 00:29:53,840 --> 00:30:00,760 Speaker 3: did that I think every child that is having a 584 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 3: child should give to their grandparents. Okay, you ready for this? 585 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 4: Uh huh. 586 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,520 Speaker 3: We bought them grandparent books both sides, So Jay and 587 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,280 Speaker 3: Jill and my parents, and these grandparent books ask questions 588 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:17,760 Speaker 3: about their upbringings, about the families, their friendships growing up, 589 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 3: what they're into. 590 00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:19,200 Speaker 2: What they want into. 591 00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 5: And it's about your parents, about the parents or about 592 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:24,320 Speaker 5: like the baby itself. 593 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 2: No, about your parents. 594 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 4: Oh okay. 595 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,320 Speaker 3: So it's a book that my parents write in and 596 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:34,719 Speaker 3: respond to with their childhood, with their interests, and then 597 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,160 Speaker 3: hopefully you know, once they get done with it, it's 598 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,600 Speaker 3: called it's called grandmother. I want to hear your story. 599 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,400 Speaker 3: So it's my mom's story. Then my dad has one 600 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,080 Speaker 3: that says, Grandpa, I want to hear your story. 601 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,240 Speaker 1: It's got very big, easy questions. 602 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, and they will be able to look back and 603 00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:57,680 Speaker 3: read her grandparents' story, you know, when she's fifty, sixty, thirty, 604 00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:02,560 Speaker 3: forty years old. Yeah, when she's thirteen, in understand her 605 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:06,200 Speaker 3: grandparents better. And so I think that's a really cool gift. 606 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,040 Speaker 3: They've appreciated it, and I know Whinny will one day too, 607 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 3: because I wish I would have. 608 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 2: Had it for mine. 609 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 4: Oh won No, I gotta give this to our our 610 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:15,160 Speaker 4: sets of grandparents. 611 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:16,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, sure with it. 612 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,840 Speaker 3: So, hey, I know we're short on time. It's been 613 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,840 Speaker 3: an awesome episode. Thank you for joining us today. 614 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 2: Thank you appreciate. 615 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:23,880 Speaker 4: Thank you guys so much. 616 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,440 Speaker 5: Have the best next couple of days before you leave. 617 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,200 Speaker 5: You're gonna have separation anxiety. 618 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 2: I know you didn't even ask that question. 619 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,080 Speaker 4: You Oh, I know you guys are gonna be flying 620 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,000 Speaker 4: in every other week. 621 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. Ashley, you're the best. Thanks 622 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:39,440 Speaker 2: for doing this. Good to see Ashley. 623 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 4: Thank you so good to see you. Bye bye, follow 624 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 4: the Ben and Ashley. 625 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:48,320 Speaker 3: I Almost Famous podcast on iHeartRadio, or subscribe wherever you 626 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,400 Speaker 3: listen to podcasts.