WEBVTT - Emmanuel Acho's Comeback Story 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:02.880 Before we dive into this week's episode, be sure to 0:00:02.920 --> 0:00:06.880 follow leave a review like Comeback Stories, hit that subscribe 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:09.040 button so you don't miss any episodes. If there was 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:12.600 anything Donnie and I could ask of you guys, it 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:14.280 will be to give us a five star review in 0:00:14.320 --> 0:00:16.680 a written review. Our mission has always been to reach 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:18.880 as many people as possible to remind that they're not 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:21.600 alone and that we all have a comeback story within us. 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:23.800 And we feel like you guys can definitely help us 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:26.840 push that message further by helping us in this way. 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:29.440 So we appreciate you, guys more than you'll ever know 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:31.880 all the times you've supported us from the beginning of 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:35.240 the show to this point. So thank you, and let's 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:47.800 drop in deep to this week's show. Welcome back, everyone 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:50.760 to another episode of Comeback Stories. Darren Waller here with 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:53.599 my man Donnie Starkins is always let it happy. Here bro, 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:57.360 always talk to you, be with you. Excited to have 0:00:57.440 --> 0:01:00.640 the guests that we have on today. He's NFL veteran, 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:03.720 but to put him in a box would be a disservice. 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:07.800 He is a two time New York bestselling author of 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:11.720 Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black man and uncomfortable conversations with 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:15.640 a black boy. He is a Fox Sports one TV analyst, 0:01:16.640 --> 0:01:20.759 Sports Emmy winner, Primetime Emmy winner, among many other things. 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:23.480 So please annual also to the show emmanual. How you 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:26.840 doing in What's up? People? H D. Water is a 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:30.240 long time coming, man, We're supposed to then linked up 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:32.959 a while, bat Donnie. Good to see you, man heard. 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:36.319 Great things have red, great things have looked up, great things. 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:38.720 So it's good to wrap with y'all. Yes, sir, it's 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:40.520 a blessing to have you here. We love to die 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:42.760 right into the story. We want to know what it 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:46.559 was like life was like for you growing up, dude, 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:52.480 growing up the youngest of four night Jerian parents. So 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:55.280 I'm in a household in Dallas, Texas, and I'm the 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:59.520 youngest of four and Nigerian parents is a little bit different, right, 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:03.480 like you can't date until you get married, tight, right 0:02:03.640 --> 0:02:07.040 like Nigerian household is. You must be a doctor, You 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:09.080 must be a lawyer, You must be an engineer, like 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:12.200 you got to be a doctor or a lawyer, an engineer. 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:15.600 But I wanted to play football. My pops is five nine, 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:18.560 my mom's is five eight. Football to them was that 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:21.960 black and white circular object that you kick on the ground. 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:25.560 My brother ends up being six three to forty. He 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:28.280 goes to a usc football camp. He runs a four 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:30.400 to six forty back in the heyday when Pete Carroll 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:33.799 was there. Pete Carroll instantly offers him on the spot. 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:38.000 Next thing, you know, the Acho name became something in Texas. 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:41.040 My brother decides to commit to the University of Texas. 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:43.760 I then decide to commit to University of Texas. And 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:45.799 this was back when we were in our bag national 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:49.240 championship with Vince Young coming off the heels of that. 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:51.880 So I go to a private school growing up, this 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:55.720 all boys school where we had national merit scholars and 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:59.840 I end up being the jock, if you will. But 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:05.600 growing up for me was complex because several different cultures 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:08.880 d wall and identities I had to fit in. You 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:12.640 were born to Nigerian parents, but went to private school, 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:15.440 then went to church in the hood, and so it 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:18.760 was simultaneously trying to live in these different spheres, in 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:21.040 these different spaces, but it made me who I am. 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:24.839 I can relate to having different environments. Do you feel 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:27.960 like you have to fit into? I was always struggling 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:29.760 with not being black enough when I was growing up, 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:33.360 because I went to school, hung out with predominantly white 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:35.120 people for the most part, and when I got into 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:38.160 sports teams, you know, just being around people were as 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:39.680 more of my skin color. They kind of, you know, 0:03:39.720 --> 0:03:41.720 made fun of me, crack jokes on me in It 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:43.040 was tough for me, and I always felt like I 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:45.760 had to wear masks in different environments. Do you feel 0:03:45.800 --> 0:03:47.640 like you had to put those masks on? And if 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:50.640 you did, what kind of impacting I had on you? Man? 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:54.920 A thousand percent, especially in college because my football team 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:57.920 in high school was predominantly white. Again, true story on 0:03:58.040 --> 0:04:00.800 the school I went to, called Saint Mark's, Dallas, Texas. 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:05.080 For context, the owner of the Kansas City Chiefs, Clark Hunt, 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:09.080 he graduated from that school. His children graduated from that school. 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:14.040 Just to give y'all context of the caliber of financial 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:17.800 individual that attends that school. Mark Cuban, the owner of 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:21.080 the Dallas Mavericks, I believe his kids go there. Tony Romo, 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:24.200 former quarterback of the Cowboys, I believe his kids go there. 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:27.040 So just to give y'all context. Now, mind you, my 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:29.440 parents were trying to get me and my brother scholarships 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:32.920 to attended school because my parents migrated from Nigeria. So 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:38.440 I'm at school in Dallas, super nerdy private school. Then 0:04:38.440 --> 0:04:42.400 I go to Texas and at Texas it's all kind 0:04:42.440 --> 0:04:48.080 of inner city, country, urban, all types of folks. But 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:51.120 I'm this private school kid. They really don't know nothing 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:54.000 about nothing, So I had to figure out who I 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:56.960 was on the fly. At the University of Texas, I'm 0:04:56.960 --> 0:05:00.360 figuring out my own identity. So it was very awkward. 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:03.799 It was very uncomfortable, if you will, But I loved 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:06.279 it because it made me a much more well rounded 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:10.440 human being. Yeah. Man, I mean all those experiences, I 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:14.880 feel like are what allow you to radiate the energy 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:18.520 that you radiate in culture today and looking at what 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:20.560 you do now. I was doing a little research on you. 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:24.240 In it said that your family was big into missionary 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:26.920 work growing up. What kind of impact you felill feel 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:28.719 like that had on you and what lessons do you 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:32.760 think you carried from that today? Man, the greatest thing 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:36.279 that's ever been done for my life is going back 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:40.840 to Nigeria every summer. So growing up, every summer we 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:43.359 would go back to the rural village of Nigeria and 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:46.640 for context. If you think you've seen poverty in America, 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:51.080 the villages of Nigeria are American poverty on steroids. They 0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:54.920 are poverty of poverty. You wake up when the sun 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:56.760 wakes you up, and you go to sleep on it's 0:05:56.839 --> 0:06:00.440 dark outside. There ain't no natural electricity in the villages. 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:04.279 You shower in the stream, the same stream that you 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:06.680 collect your water and carry back on a bucket on 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:10.320 your head, the same stream that you wash your motorcycles 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:12.800 and your vehicles in. Like, that's the same stream that 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:17.279 these villagers are showering in getting water to cook from. 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:21.200 So every summer we would go to these rural villages 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:24.120 of Nigeria for context for all the listeners and viewers. 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:26.800 In Nigeria, seventy five percent of people live off less 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:30.440 than one dollar a day, less than one dollar a day. 0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:34.000 So finally, after nine years of fundraising, we build a 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:38.440 hospital in Nigeria, Like in the middle of nowhere village, 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:41.760 we built a hospital and a two million dollar raise, 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:45.240 and we would go with forty doctors and nurses and 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:50.080 we would perform cataract surgery so blind people or people 0:06:50.080 --> 0:06:52.320 who had limited site would regain their site. We were 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:57.600 removed and extract different on aligned limbs. People would get 0:06:57.600 --> 0:07:00.240 a spider bite that might erode their arm, and we 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:03.680 would give them antibiotics. Keep in mind, in Nigeria, there's 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:07.400 not cvs, there's not Walgreens, there's not right Aid, there 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:10.200 are not pharmacies, there are not places where you can 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:13.000 do an annual checkup and wall or we were the 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:18.040 annual checkup. So going back to medical mission trips in Nigeria, 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:22.080 that literally kept me humble in the midst of trying 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:29.000 to live out the American dream. What do you feel 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:32.840 like for you if you go back into childhood days, Darren, 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:35.080 I always like to ask this question. Can you tell 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:38.920 us an early memory of pain that you had? Who 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:44.240 an early memory of pain? I can tell you an 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:47.080 early memory of fear. I give you an early memory 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:51.160 of fear. I was six years old. I was sitting 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:53.200 in the back of a I was five years old 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:55.000 because I was sitting in the back of a nineteen 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:59.040 ninety five beat up Mercedes Bends while we were driving 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:02.400 through the country side of Nigerian village. Now in a 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:06.560 Nigerian village, the officers are corrupted, and not just in 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:09.560 the village, in the city. A checkpoint an officer might 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:12.720 pull you over and they will ask for your papers. 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:16.680 Your papers, give me a driver's license, you're insurance something. Really, 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:18.720 they don't care about the papers. They want you to 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:21.000 run them some money. You feel me, it's just one 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:23.800 of them stops where hand me a couple couple of 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:26.480 dollars and will let you go. Well, my dad wasn't 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:29.360 going to be extorted, so they stop us in the car. 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:31.200 I'm sitting in the back seat. My mom's to my right, 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:33.120 my brothers to my left. My brother's seven years old. 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:35.679 I'm five years old, this little baby. They stop us. 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:37.319 They pull my dad out of the car. My dad's like, 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:38.800 I'm not giving you all any money. They put a 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:40.840 gun to his head. He will shoot you now and 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:42.680 just throw you off this cliff. I'm sitting in the 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:45.000 back of the car, like mommy, mommy, they're really about 0:08:45.000 --> 0:08:46.560 to kill my dad. My dad's just sitting there standing 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:48.199 there like I'm not giving you all any money. They're 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:50.040 threatening to shoot them. We'll just shoot you right here, 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:52.840 right now in this thick Nigerian accident, they say. And 0:08:52.920 --> 0:08:58.319 I vividly remember, like, yo, is this what life is like? 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:01.280 Like I was I was shooting done to my core. 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:05.280 That was probably the earliest memory of fear. Now, thankfully, 0:09:06.040 --> 0:09:08.280 I think they finally just let us go. Whatever the 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:14.439 case may be my earliest memory of pain, man, Honestly, 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:21.240 I probably wouldn't say I experienced pain like that until college. 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:25.080 I think my earliest memory of pain came in college, 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:28.560 and it came in athletic defeat. I would say that 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:31.680 would be the earliest memory of pain. Can we go back, 0:09:31.720 --> 0:09:34.400 and I want to learn more about your dad, because 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:36.560 I know you've learned a lot of lessons from your 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:38.560 dad and heard the story where he came over and 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:41.880 was working a taco bell job for three dollars an hour, 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:44.680 went on to get his doctorate in PhD. Can you 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:46.280 tell us a little bit more about him and some 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:49.920 of the lessons you've learned from him. Man, my dad 0:09:50.200 --> 0:09:52.560 is the oldest son of I believe maybe eight or 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:55.880 nine siblings, and in Nigerian culture, in African culture, the 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:58.960 oldest son is a provider in some degree and in 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:03.000 different aspects of American culture. And so my dad leaves 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:05.800 Nigeria in his early twenties to come to America and 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:09.120 be a missionary to be a pastor. While in America, 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:12.320 working literally at Taco Bell and our job. He gets 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:15.480 his degree, then he gets his PhD in psychology, and 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:18.080 then he opens up his own private practice. And my 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:21.040 favorite thing for me about my father is I recall 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:24.000 he only missed one football game in my high school 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:26.440 and college career and there and the reason I know 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:29.240 he only missed one football game, it's because he only 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:32.960 missed one football game. And so I recall him just 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:38.280 being present and sacrificing for his family, and I try 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:41.679 to live that out in my life, sacrificing for society. 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:43.520 I mean, my dad had no reason to go back 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:46.640 to Nigeria, had no reason to start this medical mission 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:50.080 trip team that would perform over two point two million 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:54.559 dollars in free medical care. So, Donnie, I've garnered so 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:58.880 many things from my dad and so many similarities, and 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:00.760 it's probably why we butt head a lot, because we're 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:04.200 so much alike. But that's really taught me the lessons 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:07.160 I know to help me navigate the crazy culture we 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:12.240 live in today. Yeah, you're all about teaching your life 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:14.840 lessons and you're full of one liners and quotes. I've 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:16.920 been following you for a while and you got a 0:11:16.920 --> 0:11:20.560 lot of them, one of them I wanted to talk about. Well, Darren, 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.079 kind of work this into your intro about this man 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:25.040 cannot be put in a box because I've heard you 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:26.960 say that your biggest fear is to be put in 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:30.040 the box. How has we always talk about how fear 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:32.640 can either freeze us or fuel us, And it sounds 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:36.079 like that fear of being put in a box has 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:40.360 absolutely fueled you into like massive action, more than most 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:42.000 would take. So can you just talk a little bit 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:46.640 more about that. I mean, I think the greatest, probably 0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:50.680 my greatest fear in life would be not maximizing my potential. Like, 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:52.800 we're all here for a limited amount of time, Darren, 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:56.160 I know as an athlete, you would clearly have maximized 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.040 and continue to maximize your potential. Dinning as I looked 0:11:59.040 --> 0:12:01.680 and looked into your story prior to this conversation, seeing 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:05.320 what you have done and impacting people in your life. Dude, 0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:08.520 we are here for a limited amount of time, and 0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:11.040 I think we all have a unique skill set. We 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:14.520 all are uniquely gifted to be great at something. So 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:19.280 the second I found my unique gift being a communicator, 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:23.080 oh it was put on the gas because if I 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:25.920 try to be like Darren, then I am never going 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:28.480 to be the best version of me. So when I 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:30.200 was in the National Football League and I was like, man, 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:33.000 I ain't gonna be all pro, not gonna be a 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:35.280 Hall of Famer, I'm not going to be a pro bowler. 0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:38.520 It's time to pivot. And once I pivoted and gotten 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:42.320 a television that's when I realized, oh, I'm uniquely gifted 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:47.120 at this. And so the fear of not being the 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:51.160 world changer that I know I'm capable of being, that's 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:56.120 what drives me to continue to do, to continue to create, 0:12:56.240 --> 0:13:00.480 to continue to ideate. I'm always trying to figure out 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:06.079 what's the next best and next greatest thing. I love 0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:08.760 that maximizing your fullest potential. And I feel like there's 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:10.880 a lot of guys like me and yourself that I 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.719 spent time in the NFL, and they may reach a 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:15.800 point where their career ends and they feel like that's 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:19.120 the only potential they may have or were some of 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:21.800 the mental battles, the mental hurdles that you can speak to, 0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:23.839 because I know a lot of guys face those when 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:27.840 they transition out. Man, first off, let's talk about the league. 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:30.440 I was cut five times by the age of twenty five. 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:32.400 So let's not get it twisted like I didn't have 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:36.800 this glamorous NFL story the Philadelphia and the same team, right, 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:40.440 same team, bro same team. They just ain't get tired 0:13:40.440 --> 0:13:42.720 of it. There was you know we'll cut him today, 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:45.120 that we'll cut him again tomorrow. No, I mean the 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.520 Philadelphia Eagles cut me five times by the age of 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:51.880 twenty five. I was traded at the age of twenty two, 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:54.280 and obviously I was drafted at the age of twenty one, 0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:57.320 so my NFL career was crazy. I get drafted for 0:13:57.400 --> 0:14:01.600 the Cleveland Browns. I tear my MCL in preseason Game 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:05.199 two against the Green Bay Packers. I'm playing a stretch 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:07.320 outside its own run. I try to play off a 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.439 cup block. The dude gets into my knee. I tear 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:12.560 my MCL. Finally, I've rehabbed. At the end of the season, 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:16.040 the athletic trainer, he comes up to me acho. General 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:19.360 manager wants to see you. I don't know nothing about nothing. 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:21.440 I'm a second year player at the time. I got 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:23.680 that handshake and that pad on the bat. Kind of 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:25.640 nice knowing you. Next thing you know, I'm in the 0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:29.360 coach's office coach tells me, you know, hey, Emanuel, want 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:31.840 to trade you to the Philadelphia Eagles. I'm trying not 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:33.400 to laugh because I'm like, yo, I get to get 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:37.080 out of Cleveland. That's a trade. So I end up 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:40.960 going to Philly. I'm in Philly, man. I get cut 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:43.800 five months later. Then they resigned me. I get cut 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:46.120 in the middle of that season. Then they resigned me. 0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:47.840 I get cut at the end of the next season. 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:49.760 Then I break my thumb. They cut me. Then then 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:51.560 they signed me back on my birthday. Then I get 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:54.160 cut again three weeks later. So Darren, before I even 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:57.800 got out of the league. Being in the league was 0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:01.760 as chaotic as could possibly be. But what I always remembered, 0:15:02.040 --> 0:15:04.200 and I went to the rookie symposium. I don't remember 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:06.240 if if you went to the rookie symposium, bro, but 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:09.120 if you do, you can attest to this. They said. 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:13.720 NFL players, their salary, it does this. It starts super 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:16.000 high and it goes down over the course of their life. 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:19.480 A doctor their salary it does this. It starts slow 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:22.120 and it goes up over the course of their life. 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:24.640 And at about thirty five years of age is where 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:28.800 they intersect. The doctor surpasses the NFL athlete. I vividly 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:31.880 remember hearing that at twenty one years old at the 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:34.560 Rookie Symposium, and I said, Nah, that won't be me. 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:39.640 I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna jump out of the 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:42.320 NFL when I start to see my career decline, and 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:45.160 I'm gonna jump into another industry. And so that was 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.320 what I did. But here's the true story. When I 0:15:47.360 --> 0:15:50.240 was in Austin, Texas in twenty sixteen, after four years 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:54.040 in the NFL, I emailed every single news director in 0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:56.320 Austin and I said, Hey, I would love to come 0:15:56.320 --> 0:16:01.040 on television after a Texas Longhorn game. Just add my 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:05.440 expertise one news station, Fox seven Austin. They responded, And 0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:08.360 that is how I got into television. So nobody handed 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:10.320 me nothing. Nobody was like, oh, we'll just throw you 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:14.560 a job. I just cold emailed everybody and one person 0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:17.080 bit I got into Fox seven Austin. I got into 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:20.120 longer network of subsidiary and Waller. While I was trying 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:22.480 to figure out my life, I was like, look, closed 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:24.920 mouths don't get fed. And so I said, let me 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:26.800 open up my mouth and started shooting out some emails. 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:29.320 And it all worked out. I want to ask you, 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:32.280 as you were getting your reps in early on in 0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:35.000 your media career, can you tell us what it was 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:38.520 like and when the seed was planted in your mind 0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:42.440 to create the Uncomfortable Conversations platform, because I think it's brilliant. 0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:46.320 You know, me and Donnie we love having meaningful conversations 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:49.920 and conversations like these to where you know, we talk 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:52.480 about things that have happened to you, talk about times 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.960 where you may have failed, Like when did that idea 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:57.560 begin to take place in your mind and how did 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:00.280 you and the people that support you up make that 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:06.480 come about. It's a great question, man. May twenty twenty 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:11.160 was one of the most chaotic months in the history 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:15.280 of my life on this earth. May twenty twenty would 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:18.439 be when George Floyd was murdered. I was living in Austin, Texas. 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:22.200 I was only a sports analyst at the time at 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:25.600 the time for ESPN currently obviously for Fox Sports. After 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:28.000 the murder of George Floyd, everybody was trying to figure 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:30.760 out what to do. Right Do I go march? Do 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:33.200 I pay an assign to our protest? Do I post 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:36.440 a black square on Instagram? What do you do. I'm 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:39.680 sitting in Austin, and I was like, what in the 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:45.000 world can I do? Okay, so many of my loving 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:49.000 friends that aren't of color are well intended but to 0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:52.320 poorly executed. So at a minimum, the first step to 0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:55.920 progress in life is education of all sorts. The first 0:17:55.960 --> 0:17:58.840 step to progress of anything is education. So I said, 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:04.840 let me have a educated conversation true story. I was 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:08.000 going to name it Questions White People Have, because my 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:12.720 white friends had questions. Terrible title. So as I'm sitting 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:15.240 there in Austin, just doing trying to figure out, Okay, 0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:17.800 what am I gonna do? I called a dear white 0:18:17.800 --> 0:18:21.399 friend of mine and she's and I said, you know what. No, 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:23.480 she said, you know what, Emmanuel, it's not just white 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:27.159 people that have questions. Why don't you name it Uncomfortable conversations? 0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:30.320 I said, I asked missing something's missing something. I don't 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:32.920 like that title. True story. Dan. I finished a bike ride. 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:34.280 I went back into my house and Austin, I was 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:36.640 staying in a true story townhouse. I walked by the bathroom. 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:39.480 I walked back by it. I look into the mirror. 0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:44.200 You're a black man. Uncomfortable conversations with a black man. 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:47.000 Now Here was a dilemma. I don't know nothing about 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:49.840 shooting nothing. I don't know nothing about recording nothing. I've 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:54.600 always had producers. I've always had executive producers, camera and everything. 0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:59.080 So I texted my designer and I said she also 0:18:59.160 --> 0:19:02.040 designed weddings. I said, Joe, you got a videographer. She said, 0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:04.600 I got a wedding videographer. I said, great, give me 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:07.040 his number. I texted my other friend, best friend, an 0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:11.000 Olympic gold medalist at the twenty sixteen Olympics. I said, hey, 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:14.359 can you find me a studio to shoot something in? 0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:18.520 She said, okayy, why just do it. I got a 0:19:18.600 --> 0:19:21.639 wedding videographer. I got a studio in Austin, all of 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:23.760 which I pay for. Mind you, I don't know what's 0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:26.119 about to happen, but I say, yo, I'm just gonna 0:19:26.119 --> 0:19:28.160 sit down and I'm gonna get some thoughts off my chest. 0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:31.000 Now here's what people don't realize. The first episode, Darren 0:19:31.040 --> 0:19:33.240 was supposed to be me and a dear white friend 0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:34.959 of mine. SIMI a little how you and Donnie are 0:19:34.960 --> 0:19:38.240 having a beautiful conversation right now. But an hour before 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:41.440 the conversation, my white friend was like, Hey, I can't 0:19:41.440 --> 0:19:43.520 do this. They don't want to see me, they want 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:45.360 to see you. This isn't right. She had a change 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:47.400 of heart at the last minute. So now I'm thinking 0:19:47.400 --> 0:19:51.640 to myself, bro we practiced you and I. You asked 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:55.440 the questions. I answered, Donnie, it's uncomfortable conversations with a 0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:59.040 black man, not uncomfortable monologue with a black man. So 0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:01.200 why in the world I sitting in a chair by 0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:04.000 myself for the first episode because at the last second, 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:07.639 my dear friend bailed on me. So Darren, true story. 0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:10.600 It was me in a room with a wedding videographer 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:14.200 and his wife, my best friend, an Olympic gold medalist, myself, 0:20:14.320 --> 0:20:16.399 the owner of the studio, and the friend that bailed 0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:18.800 on me ended up sitting in. It was a all 0:20:18.880 --> 0:20:21.679 white room in Austin, Texas that I paid for a 0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:25.440 videographer that I hired. I had no idea that this 0:20:25.880 --> 0:20:29.640 nine minute and seventeen second monologue would change my life. 0:20:30.400 --> 0:20:33.840 And I spoke from the heart, and somehow the world 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:37.119 listened and it ushered me into a space that I 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:39.000 didn't know why I would be in. And since then 0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:42.720 I just continue to move as my heart speaks. It's 0:20:42.760 --> 0:20:46.600 powerful man to lean into that. You know, that's a 0:20:46.760 --> 0:20:51.760 very easy situation to let fear allow you to play 0:20:51.800 --> 0:20:54.080 small and to lean in and to watch what's happened. 0:20:54.400 --> 0:20:56.879 I can't believe it's just been a few years and 0:20:56.960 --> 0:21:00.719 where your career has gone since then. I've heard you 0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:03.080 talk about and I love this around goal setting, and 0:21:03.119 --> 0:21:05.040 I wanted to bring it up because you might have 0:21:05.080 --> 0:21:08.520 to even backtrack into your college combine junior year senior 0:21:08.600 --> 0:21:11.280 year story to set that up. But I just think 0:21:11.280 --> 0:21:14.760 it's really important for our listeners and whoever might be 0:21:14.800 --> 0:21:17.640 listening to understand the concept that you have around goal 0:21:17.680 --> 0:21:21.480