Speaker 1: Stay Calm as a production of I Heart Radio. Welcome
Speaker 1: to Stay Calm, your daily dose of calmness. I'm Bob Roth,
Speaker 1: and I've been teaching people to meditate for fifty years,
Speaker 1: helping them to stay calm under pressure, reboot and re
Speaker 1: energize their lives, and basically be a happier, healthier version
Speaker 1: of themselves. And now I want to help you do
Speaker 1: the same. Ready, sit comfortably, take a few deep breaths,
Speaker 1: and let's begin today's journey. Way back before the quarantine,
Speaker 1: I was invited to talk about meditation to sixty second
Speaker 1: graders at a suburban elementary school in New Jersey. Unsure
Speaker 1: of how to begin, I asked the kids, almost in
Speaker 1: a joking manner, how many of you feel stressed out? Naively,
Speaker 1: thinking maybe a few would raise their hands. Instead, they
Speaker 1: almost all did. I asked another question, how many of
Speaker 1: you have a hard time falling asleep at night? Almost
Speaker 1: as many hands went up. Afterwards, their teachers told me
Speaker 1: that kids these days are really stressed second graders. When
Speaker 1: I was a kid, I don't think I even knew
Speaker 1: what the word stress meant. I left feeling sad. I
Speaker 1: keep talking about kids on this podcast because I feel,
Speaker 1: without any exaggeration, unless we do something, we could be
Speaker 1: in danger of losing an entire generation. And I'm talking
Speaker 1: about all kids, every one of them, including those attending
Speaker 1: some of the most elite prep schools in the country.
Speaker 1: No one is immune. For these reasons, I went back
Speaker 1: to Dr Bill sticks Root, co author of the bestseller
Speaker 1: The Self Driven Child, for a second session with him
Speaker 1: of Stay Calm. I wanted to get more of his
Speaker 1: insights and share them with you, and if you don't
Speaker 1: have kids, maybe you can pass these along to someone
Speaker 1: who does. The first thing Dr sticks Froud said is
Speaker 1: that there's an optimal mental state for a student to learn,
Speaker 1: and that's called relaxed alertness. And there's an optimal environment
Speaker 1: for a student to learn, which is high challenge but
Speaker 1: low threat. Good teachers create that optimal state and environment.
Speaker 1: They challenge the student, they stretch the student, but they
Speaker 1: let the student know that if you make a mistake,
Speaker 1: it's okay because you're still learning. It's actually the same
Speaker 1: for good parenting. We want our kids to stretch themselves,
Speaker 1: but we also want them to know it's safe to
Speaker 1: do it. Number two, stress is contagious. In fact, there's
Speaker 1: a whole science called stress contagion, which shows, for example,
Speaker 1: that if a teacher is stressed out, the courtisol levels
Speaker 1: go up in the student, and if parents argue in
Speaker 1: front of their kids, the courtisol levels go up for
Speaker 1: them as well. Number three. I made this point in
Speaker 1: my previous podcast with Doctor sticks Through, but I say
Speaker 1: it again. Teenagers really need to have a sense of
Speaker 1: control of their lives. They need to have the confidence
Speaker 1: to think that, yes, I can manage my life, I
Speaker 1: can make decisions. I don't have to feel helpless all
Speaker 1: the time. And this confidence has to develop at home
Speaker 1: because when they go off to college it's often too late.
Speaker 1: And finally, Dr Sticksford leaves us with two positive things
Speaker 1: we can do to help our kids right now stay
Speaker 1: calm and resilient. First, we should model what he calls calm, courageous, coping.
Speaker 1: Kids want to see that their parents don't get overshadowed
Speaker 1: with all the upheaval and uncertainty of these days. They
Speaker 1: want to see that their parents can still be present
Speaker 1: and positive and loving. And second, we should listen. That's
Speaker 1: the main thing kids want. They want to be heard. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's fine to give advice and reassure your child that
Speaker 1: there's no reason to worry if you think your child
Speaker 1: is worrying unnecessarily. But before you do that, your first
Speaker 1: message needs to be your willingness to listen. You can
Speaker 1: just say, tell me what you're feeling. I know it's scary.
Speaker 1: I get scared sometimes too. Then once you know they
Speaker 1: feel they've been heard, you can offer ways to cope.
Speaker 1: You could say this is what's worked for me, it
Speaker 1: might work for you. Remember these tips come from an
Speaker 1: expert who's been working with children, teens, and young adults
Speaker 1: for over thirty years. He's got a one year waiting
Speaker 1: list from parents who want his advice, which means, given
Speaker 1: a chance, these tips can work for the young people
Speaker 1: in your life as well. All right, let's end this
Speaker 1: time together doing something that I think should be a
Speaker 1: feature of our everyday life, and that's appreciation and gratitude.
Speaker 1: So let's take thirty seconds of quiet, thirty seconds to
Speaker 1: take a break, just take a moment. It turns out
Speaker 1: when we do that, it's good for our health as well.
Speaker 1: I'll be right back, all right, thank you for joining
Speaker 1: me today. I hope you heard something that inspires that
Speaker 1: uplifts you and that you can incorporate into your own life.
Speaker 1: This is Bob Roth. Stay calm. Hey, all of you
Speaker 1: out there, I'd love to hear from you. You can
Speaker 1: send me your stories, your questions, or anything else on
Speaker 1: your mind. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook or
Speaker 1: Instagram at meditation Bob. You can also send me an
Speaker 1: email at meditation Bob Roth at gmail dot com. I
Speaker 1: look forward to hearing from you