WEBVTT - REPLAY - VAN LATHAN - Angola State Grilled Cheese Part 2 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:03.160 Yo, I talk a lot. I know sometimes it could 0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:04.800 be hard to follow me. But if you don't listen 0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:09.920 to anything else, I say, listen to this. These people 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:15.200 don't give a fuck about you. We didn't talked like 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:17.960 your dad has passed away. I done took you outside 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:20.960 the office, We've talked about it, We've gone through all 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:23.640 of this. You wouldn't do this to me. Not only 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:28.680 will they, they're going to Yeah, like they're going to 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:32.040 do it. It's like they're going to do you. You 0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:35.240 You're gonna get done. You will be done like something 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:38.640 like if you are, if you are making the track 0:00:39.280 --> 0:00:44.479 towards being somebody important or influential, somebody is going to 0:00:44.520 --> 0:01:12.320 do you. There's no magic or sinister story to a divorce. 0:01:12.680 --> 0:01:15.600 Sometimes it don't work out. It just doesn't work out. 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:17.880 But you want to believe certain people will never be 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:23.360 happy because their lifestyles are antithetical to happiness in a relationship. 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:28.160 So you want to you want to believe like like you, 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:31.319 like you, you you. You want to believe that right. 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:34.320 You want to believe that TAMS gives you that. In 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:37.080 order to do that, TMZ has to treat those people 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:41.600 like they're not people. They have to treat them as 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:45.119 if their concepts celebrity is not a person. 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:48.960 That's why I guess comes off a little bit invasive 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:49.560 and ruthless. 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:51.600 Right, Well, no, because they're. 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:54.120 They're not treating they're they're treating them kind of like. 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:56.240 Well, you have to write like even even the TMS 0:01:56.360 --> 0:01:59.200 tour was a celebrity safari, Like what's on a safari? 0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:01.840 Yeah, animals animals, right. 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:04.960 And so and so like when when you like the 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:07.640 tours celebrities to fight its animals, right, and so you 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:10.639 do that, right and what you what you say is okay, Well, 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:12.680 in order to be a celebrity, the game is pr 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:15.040 at its base, right, So this is what you sign 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:19.360 up for kind of right, because like there are certain 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:22.040 things that you don't sign up for. I'll never talk 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:25.560 I'll never I'll never forget this. There was the sister 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:29.560 of a celebrity that had that had had something taught 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:31.640 done to them. I'll never forget. I'm not gonna talk 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:33.200 about who I had the conversation with. I'm like, yo, 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:39.280 we shouldn't do that. And they did the story and 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:42.440 this dude went on fucking and let us fucking happ 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:44.080 and I was like, yo, we had to take it 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:45.960 down and apologize and do all that stuff like yo, 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:48.040 like there's a limit to this. And that's not me 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:49.880 making a moral judgment on the team team. I'm just 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:53.040 telling you the way things go. So like when you 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:57.120 know all of that, when you have an idea of 0:02:57.240 --> 0:03:04.519 what drives that, Like obviously they're moral. There are things 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:06.640 that you have to not care about to work there. 0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:09.880 But most of the people there are good people. They're 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:12.520 just desensitized to whatever was going on there because that's 0:03:12.520 --> 0:03:15.600 where they work, like like that, like that's what they do. 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:19.000 I'm there. It's the same thing. Things are coming in 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:22.240 at a certain point you go, god damn, you know, 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:25.480 and it's there will be little small things. This is 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:28.080 a football player that had this video come out of 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:31.360 some altercation. It was in and it said savage beating 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:33.160 by this and I was just looking at the hellline. 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:36.600 I'm like, that's I don't think we should go savage 0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:40.280 beating there, Like I think savage is like a that's 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:44.640 like an interesting way where there's just little small things. 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:49.960 The mayor of DC died Marion Barry crack maryor Marion 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:54.360 Barry dies like he died and like by the way, 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:56.000 the people in DC are gonna freak the funk out 0:03:56.040 --> 0:03:57.520 because I don't know if you guys know, but Marion 0:03:57.520 --> 0:04:01.480 Barry was with Martin Luther King Junior. Like where I'm from, 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:05.040 Like I deal with a group of people, the community, 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:08.560 people that are always categorized by the worst moment that 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:14.400 they have. And I don't feel comfortable with categorizing a 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:17.120 man that means so much to his city by the worst, 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:19.240 most scandalous thing he ever had. You can't talk about 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:21.680 his life without talking about that, Yeah, but maybe in 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:25.840 the headline you don't do that. So it so all 0:04:25.839 --> 0:04:27.680 of those things start to start to happen. And so 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:31.680 for me, what the place represents it's not even so 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:36.080 much a bunch of not even so much a bunch 0:04:36.080 --> 0:04:38.040 of moral people that are running around trying to get 0:04:38.040 --> 0:04:43.880 the dirn on celebrities. It represents our relationship to celebrity 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:48.480 and our relationship to ourselves, because there's no fucking reason 0:04:48.480 --> 0:04:52.800 whatsoever why we should spend so much time talking about 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.359 what happens in the lives of famous people. It just 0:04:55.640 --> 0:05:01.960 really like, at its core, it just doesn't And even 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.520 to this day on the podcast, I still do it. 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:07.240 And the reason why I still do it. I don't 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:12.760 get the stories, but you try to extrapolate larger conversations 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:15.880 out of these things and talk about them with notable people. 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:18.120 But really it's just the need to talk about things 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:20.760 that people care about, and for whatever reason, people care 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:21.800 about celebrity and fame. 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:27.919 Okay, can that makes sense? So going back to your story, Yeah, 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:31.880 so you're at TMZ for nine years, you said, and 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:33.240 then what happens after that? 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:34.599 After that? 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:37.120 Wait, what happened with your ending in TMZ? 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:41.000 I got fired for an altercation inside the office with 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:44.560 a white boy. 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:46.560 You say altercation? No hands? 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:48.359 They say I use hands? 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:51.040 They say you used hands? Did you use hands? 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:55.599 Yeah, not in any real way. 0:05:55.640 --> 0:05:59.159 I mean not in a real way. What did you 0:05:58.040 --> 0:05:59.599 do like that? 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:03.680 Or like, no, I'm not gonna smack nobody. See, I 0:06:03.680 --> 0:06:07.680 would never This is the funny thing that would never happen, Right. 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:10.640 That would never happen. You say, a white boy, I'm like, 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:12.560 maybe you went light on him, you smacked him. 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:16.080 This guy was my guy, still is my guy. He's 0:06:16.080 --> 0:06:21.719 a Republican. Whatever, tell you what happened. I'm an emotional person. 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:23.520 I can kind of see that. 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:28.880 Very true. Uh, They they wanted me to talk about. 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:30.479 There's only one thing I don't want to talk about, 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:33.880 Hurricane Katrina. I just don't want to talk about it. 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:37.000 Like even saying the name Hurricane Katrina, like right now 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:38.240 it makes me want to cry. I just don't want 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:39.480 to talk about it. I want think about, I want 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:41.000 talk about I don' want talk about it. I don't 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:46.800 very tough, very hard. And there was this story that 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:50.200 had gone on in the newsroom earlier where George Bush 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:52.800 was being cool with like Ellen Degeneress, thats some football games, 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:54.800 and I was like, it doesn't matter what you guys 0:06:54.800 --> 0:06:56.480 say about George Bush. I don't give a fuck that 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:58.359 he paints. I don't give a fuck that show Obama 0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:02.640 likee George Bush, fuck George Bush, forever like it. It 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:04.960 doesn't matter. I don't give a fuck. Who's the who's 0:07:04.960 --> 0:07:07.720 worse fucking forever Wheel was in the water. He didn't 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:12.440 care that. The way it goes like, hey, we're gonna 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:14.200 bring this back and you're so passionate about it, and 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:15.320 the thing it's like, guys, I don't want to talk 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:18.160 about it. Oh, I told you. I want to talk 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:20.720 about guys, and I want to talk about Like, no, 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:23.280 I'm like, I'm like, please, Pa, I'm like please, I 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:25.160 don't want to. I want to discuss it. I'm here, 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:28.880 I do everything. I've been the funny nigga for a 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:31.239 long time. I've been the I do. I'm the Swiss 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:34.480 Army Knife of niggas. I'm the funny nigga. I'm the 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:36.960 basketball nigga. I'm the who look at the ass nigga. 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:39.440 I'm like all that I've been. This just I'm saying, 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:41.000 don't don't. I don't want to talk about it. You 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:44.160 gotta do it, fam we need you. Okay. So I 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:45.840 get on there and I'm talking my whole thing, and 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:48.520 this guy up there hosting the show, he's cutting me off, 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:51.800 and he's speaking to me in a way that I 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:54.240 don't like. Anytime you speak to me in a way 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:57.280 that I don't like, we have a conversation about it, Okay, 0:07:57.520 --> 0:08:01.360 is it? So this is generally how this happened. I 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:04.480 challenge anyone to watch the video. Guys up there, he's 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:09.000 sitting down, he's doing the show. I know him now. 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:11.920 I know him like we're friends, and we're friends. Now 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:15.360 he's up there and he's doing the show. He's done 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:18.200 this already and I don't want to yell at him 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:21.000 across the newsroom make a big scene. So I go 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:23.320 up to him while he's sitting down, and I put 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:26.000 my hands on his shoulders, and you can see me 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:29.680 on the video. I'm whispering into his ear. I'm whispering 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:30.280 into his ear. 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:32.920 Does he turn around and do the whole big scene? 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:35.520 Nah? He turns around, and he moves his hand from 0:08:35.520 --> 0:08:37.920 off my shoulder and I'll move it and then and 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:39.760 then I whisper into his ear, and I say, and 0:08:39.800 --> 0:08:42.000 you can see me leaving. I pat him on the side. 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:43.559 You can see me leaving, and I do like this, 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:46.640 and I walk back. The last thing I said to 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:50.760 him was not something that you should say to somebody 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:55.600 in the office. He stood up and I was like, whatever, 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:58.120 I don't even want to The last thing that I 0:08:58.120 --> 0:09:00.880 said is something. And so when I said that, Charles said, 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:01.520 Van go home. 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:02.880 What did you say? 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:03.640 No? 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:06.800 So like so, the I mean, the last thing was 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:12.040 a threat. It was no, no, no, that wasn't a. 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:14.960 It was a lights out. 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:18.080 The last thing was a threat. It wasn't a threat 0:09:18.200 --> 0:09:20.600 as in I'm gonna do something to you. It was 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:23.520 a threat as in, these are my limits. 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:24.959 Yeah, don't cross that line again. 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:28.400 Yeah, you know, and and that's probably too far off 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:30.679 for Charles. Charles Charles goes Van go home. That's the 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:33.040 last time I was ever in TMZ. It was funny 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:34.840 because when they called me, I knew I was gonna 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:35.880 have to it was gonna have to bench be for 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:39.880 a little while, right, uh for that. Yeah, so listen, 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:42.000 it's funny. So I'm on the thing and I'm like, 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:46.200 I'm one of the phone with the HR people and 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:50.160 they go, yeah, did you choke him? And I went 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:55.360 wait what And they were like, yeah, did you put 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:59.960 your hands around his neck? And I was like oh. 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:06.960 And I was like, guys, this is Van. Hey, it's me. 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:13.960 Circus Bear like, hey, it's Vans. This is Van. Think 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:16.680 about what you're asking me. Think about if you're asking 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:19.760 me whether or not I choked Mike in in front 0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:20.600 of the whole newsroom. 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:21.160 It's me. 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:24.840 I know you guys, it's children. I'd be around y'all 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:30.600 like it's Van, Hey, it's me. Now come back the 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:34.160 whole thing. I was like, oh, they about to do me, 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:40.440 and they did. And it was like the funny thing 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:47.880 about it was so all of these conversations. It's like 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:54.000 stuff happens. I end up being terminated. Karen, my manager, 0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:57.000 like automatically has stuff. So we're taking all kinds of 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:59.040 means was doing all kinds of stuff. Nobody guys is 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:03.280 off me. We're doing the same stuff because literally my 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:06.280 contract was up at TMZ in about four more weeks 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:10.199 and I had already told them I wasn't resigning. So 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:11.400 if they thought they would have had me for a 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:12.960 longer term, there's no way they would have fired me. 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:15.760 But it's like whatever, this is a way to try 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:17.680 maybe say some money, get off from under Its cool. 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:23.760 So my it starts to get around the office and 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:27.959 I'm not coming back. So my coworkers throw me a 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:32.000 going away party, including the guy that I supposedly chose, 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:36.640 who comes to the going away party. And after that 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:40.480 that was on a Saturday. Pictures go up on Instagram 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:44.720 on Monday. Paid six colls me and says, what we 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:48.320 heard that you got fired. We heard that you got fired. 0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:50.079 We heard it there was some kind of office altercation. 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:51.640 We heard there was all of this stuff, and I'm 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:55.079 like fuck. Now, I'm like god, damn. Now I'm the 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:59.400 six foot fourth scary nigga, are you six four? Don't play? 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:02.640 And so and so and so. Now I'm like and so. 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:06.199 Now I'm like the six foot I'm not like er 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:10.520 er er. And they put up an article and the 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:17.080 article was like super it went soft on me. Everybody 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:20.319 loves fan and all of this stuff like that. TMZ 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:24.680 got their asses kicked. Everybody was coming at them, like 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:29.440 everybody and so then the next day the office struck back. 0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:31.680 And this is the one of the most important moments 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:37.400 of my career. Yo, I talk a lot. I know 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:39.320 sometimes it could be hard to follow me. But if 0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:42.520 you don't listen to anything else, I say, listen to this. 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:50.120 These people don't give a fuck about you. They don't 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:53.920 tell you what we do as black people. Sometimes what 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:57.360 we do is like the record label becomes a crew 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:03.440 and a family, the production group becomes a crew and 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:05.520 a family. We gotta sign, we got a logo, we 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:08.320 got all of this stuff and boom boom boom, boom boom, 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:11.440 and we cool. I know your kids, I know I 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:13.960 know all of these people around you. We didn't talked 0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:17.360 like your dad has passed away. I took you outside 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:20.400 the office. We've talked about it. We've gone through all 0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:23.040 of this, you wouldn't do this to me. Not only 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:28.120 will they they're going to Yeah, like they're going to 0:13:28.160 --> 0:13:31.600 do it. It's like they're going to do you. You're 0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:34.800 gonna get done. You will be done like something like 0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:39.200 if you are if you are making the track towards 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:44.800 being somebody important or influential, somebody is going to do you. 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:48.600 You will be done. So the question is for you 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:53.200 is how are you gonna respond to it? As much naive. 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:54.959 This is coming from a man at that time who 0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:57.320 was thirty nine years old. I didn't think they would 0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:59.120 do me that way. And the reason why I didn't 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:01.079 think they would do me that way, it's not because 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:04.320 it's because Yo, I know these people. It's to the 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:06.600 point to me to where if if I pick up 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:08.520 your baby and hold your back I'm from ban Rouge. 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:10.320 If I pick up your baby, if I don't fuck 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:11.800 with you and get that little nigga away from me, 0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:14.080 But like if if I pick up your baby and 0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:15.720 hold your baby and all your wife and I've been 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:18.120 to your crib and all of that stuff, I'm thinking 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:20.640 that there's gonna be a point where where somebody's gonna 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:22.040 want to make me look in a certain way and 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:23.560 somebody's gonna go, we can't do that to that. 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:26.760 Yeah, but does it also make you wonder like kind 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:29.200 of going back to the Jesus days, like the whole Judas, 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:31.800 Like which one like with that piece of advice or 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:35.800 that's that statement? Do you think that people should be 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:39.120 also double looking over like which one in their crew 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:41.000 is gonna be the one that kisses them on the cheek? 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:46.920 No? No, do you know what we forget about Judas? 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:51.200 What that he got paid? The money is the. 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:52.800 Judas I understand. 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:55.160 So so hear me out. 0:14:57.040 --> 0:15:00.000 So the root is always gonna be in the industry 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:00.680 in of itself. 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:05.680 The root the what pulls you apart, what brings you 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:09.480 together with these people is the commerce, and what pulls 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:12.960 you apart is the commerce. Yeah. Sure they liked me, 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.480 but I was good for business. Yeah you know what 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:17.680 I mean. Yeah, they liked me. They definitely liked me. 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:22.120 But I was funny, and I was smart, and I 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:26.440 was devastatingly handsome, and I was and I was all 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:29.360 of those they like. They they liked me, but I 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:32.040 was good for business and a lot of the things 0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:34.440 that I got away with there, I wouldn't have gotten 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:39.360 away with if I wasn't good for business. And at 0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:42.040 that point I was bad for business. 0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:45.960 So but they threw the mud back on. 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:47.880 You, right, So I was bad for business. And the 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:49.880 moment that I became bad for business, we talked about 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:52.280 it before. Was not a person anymore. It's like a thing. 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:56.240 So Judas, Yeah, he did what he did. They paid 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:59.840 him thirty pieces of silver. The thing is going to 0:15:59.880 --> 0:16:03.200 get at you. Just be prepared for the thing, the 0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:05.680 thing when you're no longer, when they no longer have 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:07.960 to protect you. First of all, anybody who doesn't have 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:11.800 to protect you won't. That's the first thing. And secondly, 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:17.040 if you're a threat to the money. 0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:32.760 Your toast. 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:35.080 So at that point everybody is making them look bad. 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:38.440 They're like they don't want to be embarrassed. People are 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:41.080 asking if TMZ is racist. People are starting to say 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:44.640 the TMZ fire Van because vancd to Kanye West. It's 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:46.720 all of this stuff. If somebody would have got on 0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:49.520 the phone with me, I swear to God, if somebody 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:51.080 would have called me and be like, Van, we're taking 0:16:51.080 --> 0:16:53.200 the beating. Is there something you can say, I'd have 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:56.360 done them a solid because that's out of done them 0:16:56.360 --> 0:17:00.240 a solid because I had no fucking problem with being 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:02.600 where I was. It was aw cool. I had everything 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:03.000 set up. 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:05.640 So, oh that's what that was gonna be. My next question. 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:09.159 So what was your mindset at when all of this 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:09.880 was going on? 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:12.680 I started having heart problems? 0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:16.159 Well, I thought you just said that. What do you 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:17.479 mean while were you having heart problems? 0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:20.760 It was stressed out? Okay, sorry. Like when I say 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:24.080 I started having heart problems, it's like there's something called 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:28.879 preventricular contractions. It's like a skipping of the beat. Like 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:34.960 I was so stressed that I was like to play 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:37.240 basketball very active. I was so stressed that my heart 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:39.720 started missing timing. It was boomoom boom, boom boom. 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:42.679 When you were stressed over what just the whole transition 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:45.000 and where your next road was going. 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:48.000 Yeah, the whole deal, think about it, right, like the 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:50.439 whole deal. But here's the deal though. I say all 0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:59.000 this to say this. People look for God in like 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:02.520 the sky. Sometimes God is on the ground too, He's 0:18:02.560 --> 0:18:05.000 like right where you're walking. I had to go through that, 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:07.840 you know why why? Because I had to put people 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:12.080 through that. I had to go through that because I 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:17.120 had written and hit publish on headlines that had made 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:21.119 people feel that way. I had got on TV and 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:24.120 talked about people in a way that made them go, shit, 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:26.760 these people don't know me. I had been a part 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:32.320 of stories that portrayed people in a light that's not 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:35.440 quite accurate to who they actually are without me really 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:36.800 knowing them. I had been a part of that. 0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:40.160 So but you had You've been a part of it 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:42.879 without the relationship. It's different. Obviously, if you have the 0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:44.840 relationship and you're pushing the published button. 0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:48.920 That all feels the same. Because like for me seeing 0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:51.600 me on page six and seeing me going through all 0:18:51.600 --> 0:18:54.040 of this stuff and me going, hey, guys, you guys 0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:55.840 know me. This is not the thing. This is not 0:18:55.920 --> 0:19:00.160 the deal. Seeing something out of context, played up all 0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:04.640 the little micro feelings about black man, or right there, 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:07.880 which is a maritime before Van snapped. It's a maritime 0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:10.720 before Van hurt somebody. This was a maritime before he 0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:12.480 showed us who he really is. Remember, when a white 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:16.040 person does something wrong, it's somebody who did something wrong. 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:18.600 When a black person does something wrong, they're showing us 0:19:18.600 --> 0:19:21.480 who they really are the whole time. So it's so 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:25.640 all of this stuff, it's like I went through that, 0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:27.080 and I was like, Okay, cool, no more of that 0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:29.840 for me. I have to feel that, like I'm not 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:31.919 one of those persons. I always get caught when I 0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:35.359 do something wrong. I always it always comes back to me. 0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:38.960 He don't want me to escape without feeling it. Yeah, 0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:41.119 so it always comes back to me. And I could 0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:45.119 not leave there having done the Kanye thing and looked 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:48.440 like some kind of big deal or whatever. I could 0:19:48.520 --> 0:19:50.440 not have left there without being on the other side 0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:53.400 of a headline. And so that's the way it went. 0:19:54.000 --> 0:19:56.359 Take the lesson, move on, continue to do dope shit, 0:19:56.960 --> 0:20:01.320 do as much as you can, but like it. And also, 0:20:01.640 --> 0:20:03.680 you know, I had been to Grilled Cheese Land already. 0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:06.720 If I had to go back there again, I could. 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:12.159 Now that you're older, do you It's I've been to 0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:14.919 the broke land. But I promise you I'm terrified of 0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:16.760 going back. But I meet so many people on this 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:20.359 show that'll be like, I'll fault bankruptcy. I'll go back again. 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:23.040 I'm not worried about it. You're not at that phase 0:20:23.080 --> 0:20:25.159 where you really genuinely don't want to go back. 0:20:25.200 --> 0:20:27.359 To me, I can't go back now. I could if 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:30.359 I had to go back, it would happen, right, But 0:20:30.400 --> 0:20:31.400 I can't go back now. 0:20:31.560 --> 0:20:33.200 Why do you see that we lost dad? 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:37.439 So we lost dad in twenty twenty one, and it 0:20:37.640 --> 0:20:40.679 just changed, like it changed everything, like when we lost them, 0:20:40.720 --> 0:20:44.120 when we lost the old man. It's like I remember 0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:47.200 when you get the news. I go to bat Rouge 0:20:47.560 --> 0:20:50.760 and right away people start asking me stuff and it 0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:52.879 really didn't matter. I'm not used to people asking me 0:20:52.960 --> 0:20:56.360 stuff like in a family way, and then my decision 0:20:56.400 --> 0:21:00.400 being what they do and shout out to build man, 0:21:00.920 --> 0:21:04.159 like you know, Bill goes So, I a guy I 0:21:04.240 --> 0:21:07.200 work with at the Ringer. Bill like hit Bill. I'm 0:21:07.200 --> 0:21:09.960 like Bill goes Hey. It's like, man, He's like he's 0:21:09.960 --> 0:21:12.760 honest with me right there. He's like, Man, I'm telling 0:21:12.760 --> 0:21:15.159 you right now, when you go down there, now, it's 0:21:15.200 --> 0:21:17.119 gonna be different, Like you're going to have to be 0:21:17.200 --> 0:21:19.159 the guy. And I'm not saying that I am the 0:21:19.200 --> 0:21:20.800 guy in my family. I'm just saying that, Like. 0:21:20.960 --> 0:21:22.199 You're also the youngest, aren't you. 0:21:22.720 --> 0:21:26.919 Yeah, I'm the youngest, but I'm also I mean, in 0:21:27.000 --> 0:21:30.400 terms of this immediate family, I want to parse apart 0:21:30.440 --> 0:21:36.000 all my family dynamics, but like they rely on me, 0:21:36.920 --> 0:21:41.520