1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:05,440 Speaker 1: It is strawberry. Let subject do I stay for the 2 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:09,160 Speaker 1: finances and the kids? Question Mark? Good Morning, Steve Harvey 3 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,240 Speaker 1: Morning Show. I'm a married woman in my late thirties. 4 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:16,160 Speaker 1: I've been married for fifteen years with three beautiful children. 5 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 1: My husband and I have been together since we were 6 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: in high school. Our marriage, for the most part, has 7 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: been drama free. We have had the average issues of 8 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: a young couple growing up together into adulthood while raising 9 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 1: a young family. I considered my husband my best friend. 10 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 1: The last couple of years, my husband has had his 11 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,879 Speaker 1: hands and several different ventures ventures to better our financial status. 12 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,880 Speaker 1: I have allowed my husband full reign over our finances 13 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 1: and supported him so that he could better our financial situation. Now. 14 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,239 Speaker 1: My husband has always made more money than me. It 15 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,639 Speaker 1: has never been an issue for us. But now that 16 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: he has bought some real estate, property, etcetera, he has 17 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 1: become a little cocky boy. I've been bringing it to 18 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 1: his attention that he has started discarding my opinion in 19 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: our financial decisions and has started he and up had 20 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: started treating me like one of our kids. It seems 21 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: that he is short with me and snapped at me 22 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 1: like the kids. It's like he forgot I am his 23 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: counterpart and how supportive I was as he raised us 24 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: to the top, and my frustration, I made a really 25 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 1: bad choice. I turned to another man who seemed to 26 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 1: appreciate me. He's a single, divorced, older man that has 27 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 1: enjoyed his bachelor life fully over those past years. He 28 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,399 Speaker 1: shared with me how he has played the field to 29 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 1: the fullest. He is now looking for a wife. I 30 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 1: think he is fascinated with me because my mindset as 31 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: a wife to let my man lead while I support him. 32 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,320 Speaker 1: This guy feels I can make him a better man. 33 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 1: This guy does make me feel like I'm the greatest 34 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: thing that has ever happened to him, while my husband 35 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: makes me feel that any failure in his life was 36 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 1: because we married young and he didn't fulfill his destiny. 37 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 1: This situation turned so ugly that I asked my husband 38 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: to move out, and he did. This older guy is 39 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: not as financially disciplined as my husband. The problem is 40 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 1: that um I have become accustomed to living a certain way. 41 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: My husband forgave me for the affair, and it's changed 42 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: since he realized someone else wanted me. He claims he 43 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:18,360 Speaker 1: realized that he really does love me, took me for granted. 44 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: I have my guards up because I gave him my 45 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: all and he didn't appreciate it. I feel like he's 46 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,360 Speaker 1: he thinks it's cheaper to keep me. I let him 47 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 1: move back in, and I thought that I could forget 48 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:32,520 Speaker 1: about the other man. I still love my husband, but 49 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 1: I am not in love with him anymore. I prayed 50 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,079 Speaker 1: on it and asked God to remove the other man 51 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 1: from my heart. It worked for a short time, but 52 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: I seem to be right back at the same cross roads. 53 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 1: The other man has made it clear that he wants 54 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,120 Speaker 1: me as his wife and that he will do the 55 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: best he can to take care of me. My issue 56 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 1: is that I've been married since I was twenty three 57 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:53,960 Speaker 1: years old, and I don't know if I want to 58 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: turn around and marry this man, although I have no 59 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: desire to date anyone else, but I can't afford to 60 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 1: be on my own and live the way I have 61 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: been accustomed to living. What am I um What if 62 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,679 Speaker 1: I'm making a grave mistake and lose my husband in 63 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,119 Speaker 1: the process. Should I stay with my husband, even though 64 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,119 Speaker 1: he doesn't make my heart flutter anymore? Should I take 65 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: a chance with this other man? Even though I will 66 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 1: have to start all over and might not uh and 67 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 1: might have to struggle with him. Plus my kids could 68 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 1: be devastated by the whole situation. Do I stay for 69 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 1: the finances and the kids? Confused? You're confused? Yeah, you 70 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 1: really really are confused. Uh yeah, your kids will be 71 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: devastated by this situation. Um. Uh, this letter is crazy. 72 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 1: You know what your Your whole marriage is messed up 73 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: because of you. Uh, it's just a hot mess. I 74 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 1: got a question for you. This is how you work 75 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: on your marriage by turning to another man. I don't know, 76 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: maybe you left something out, but I never got to 77 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: the part in your letter you know where you guys 78 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 1: tried to work this thing out before you turn to 79 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 1: another man. And we've set many many times in this 80 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: show you can and not go outside to work on 81 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 1: what's wrong with your marriage inside. Okay, you were right 82 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: about one thing that you made a bad choice. Okay, 83 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 1: you're human. Uh. The key to it is to stop 84 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 1: making these bad choices. Um. This is something phenomenal that 85 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: happened here. To me, her husband forgave her for sleeping 86 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: with another man. To me, that's phenomenal because men don't 87 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: usually do that women yet, but men know they don't. 88 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,599 Speaker 1: They usually don't forgive that sort of thing. But he 89 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,040 Speaker 1: wants you back. He's told you how much he loved you, 90 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: all that sort of thing. Go back to your husband, 91 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,920 Speaker 1: leave this other man alone, and please get your priorities together. 92 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 1: All you talk about is money, money, money, money. That's 93 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 1: phenomenal that her husband took her back. We'll be back 94 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: with a coke cracker. You're listening, all right, Come on, Steve, 95 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 1: Let's go to part two of today's Strawberry Letter. Woman 96 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,719 Speaker 1: been with a man for a long time, had a 97 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: great life. They've been together so long, they raised kids, 98 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:03,359 Speaker 1: just a typical problems in the family. Um. Then she 99 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 1: allowed her husband take over all the finances. He became cocky. 100 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 1: One thing led to another. She felt belittle. She said, 101 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 1: she made a bad choice and turned to another man. 102 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,760 Speaker 1: Now she's fascinated with this new man. Uh, he's all 103 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:20,360 Speaker 1: of this and a bag of chips. And then now, um, 104 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:26,359 Speaker 1: her husband obviously finds out and forgives her. And well, anyway, 105 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 1: before that happened, she's with this man who's not financially together. 106 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:34,320 Speaker 1: He's an older guy. Um, treat her like a queen. 107 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 1: So she says, blah blah blah blah blah. Um. It 108 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 1: got so bad that she asked her husband to move out, 109 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 1: which I find ironic because was it not? Is it 110 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,800 Speaker 1: not you the one who cheated? Now your husband got 111 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 1: to get the hell out because you cheated. Now your 112 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 1: man leaves the house. He discovered he wants you back. 113 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 1: He forgave you for the affair, which I must tell 114 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: you as surely said, it's absolutely phenomenally because most men. 115 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 1: You can't take my cookie and crumble it no where, 116 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: I don't know where, break it all, pass it out. 117 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: You can't open to pack up in front of nobody. 118 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:18,840 Speaker 1: You got people just oreo cooking going on a whole, 119 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 1: all the middle gone. You just cannot do this and 120 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 1: then come back up in here. So you've got an 121 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: interesting man right there. Uh, he feels he realized he 122 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: was treating you wrong. Now he wants you back. You 123 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 1: let him back in the house. Your feelings for him 124 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 1: are not the same. You've prayed to God to take 125 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 1: your lust away for this other man. They worked for 126 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:42,599 Speaker 1: a little while. Okay, well let's so blise. Now you 127 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,280 Speaker 1: don't know if you should go with this man, because 128 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 1: it changes your financial situation too much. Are your kids 129 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:50,120 Speaker 1: would be devastated? Surely pointed out a great point. The 130 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,880 Speaker 1: kids are going to be devastated. But now let's really 131 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,160 Speaker 1: talk about what's really going cold crack and see some 132 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 1: mess in him. I've allowed my husband full rain over 133 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,160 Speaker 1: finances and supported him so that he could better our 134 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 1: financial situation. A couple of lines go back, A couple 135 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:09,280 Speaker 1: of lines go by. Then you say he started discarding 136 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 1: my opinion and our financial decisions. Did you not just 137 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 1: say you gave your man full rein over the financial decisions. 138 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:20,800 Speaker 1: Now you say he's starting to disregard my opinion and 139 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: our fact you didn't have one at the beginning when 140 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: you gave him full rain. Now that things are going well, 141 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 1: is it that you wanted credit too? Is it that 142 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 1: you wanted credit too and he wasn't passing it out? 143 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: Because men will stick their chest out once we've accomplished 144 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: something I I I they will forget. Admittedly, ladies, that 145 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 1: it was a Weever, I understand that part of it 146 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: right there. Then she says, it's like he forgot that 147 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: I'm his counterpart and how I supported him. I was 148 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: as I raised us to the top. Now she says, 149 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: in my frustration, I made a really bad tel. I 150 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 1: turned to another man who seemed to appre shaped me. 151 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 1: Here's her description of this man. He's a singer, divorce, 152 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 1: older man, and Georgia's bachelor fully bachelor life fully over 153 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: the past few years, he shared with me how he 154 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 1: has played the field to the fullest. He's now looking 155 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 1: for a wife. I think he's fascinated with me because 156 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 1: of my mind set as a wife to let my 157 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 1: man lead while I support him. Well, that's an interesting 158 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: thing you just said. This is your description of this guy, 159 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: somebody who's played the field to the fullest. So now 160 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: you think all the player stuff is washed out. Your 161 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: husband being a player was not the problem. But now 162 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 1: you're stepping into a relationship with a man who has 163 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 1: told you what he has been, has been a player, 164 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,079 Speaker 1: and now you're thinking that they got him all out 165 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,960 Speaker 1: the situation. But you think you think his fascination with 166 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: you is your mindset as a wife, that you know 167 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 1: how to support your man. Okay, then if I was him, 168 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: I would be looking at you because your support of 169 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 1: your man when you got tired of not being was 170 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 1: you turned to another man. If I was this new man. 171 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: I would be looking at you upside your head, because 172 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: that's what you call total support. You went outside the marriage. See, 173 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 1: do you want to make this letter about how he 174 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,560 Speaker 1: treated you? And I got what he did was not 175 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,079 Speaker 1: the best way to approach it. The I, I me 176 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: me when it should be we we win. We could 177 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,560 Speaker 1: be guilty of that many times. But hold on, though, 178 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 1: let's talk about what really would want. You broke the vials. 179 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 1: You gave him full rain of the money. Then he 180 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 1: didn't give you enough credit. Now you go outside and 181 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,840 Speaker 1: you go get homeboy. Now you got a problem with homeboy. 182 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 1: See you talk about how good old homeboy is. He's 183 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 1: an older man um and that is not as financially 184 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 1: disciplined as my husband. You're gonna leave him too. You 185 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 1: think you fell out with your man. You waited your money, right, 186 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,520 Speaker 1: you waited. You go down to that bank and got 187 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: to pay that twin at all or whatever feel is 188 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,559 Speaker 1: for a non sufficient fund check that get returned all 189 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:48,319 Speaker 1: the time, because I what you're fitting to be doing. 190 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 1: Now you can get up here and everything is cozy 191 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: with the dude you just kicking it with because y'all 192 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: don't live together. You ain't got yea, yeah, yeah. Your 193 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,160 Speaker 1: new man ain't got the problems that your husband got. 194 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 1: Y'all ain't got life. You and your husband got. Y'all 195 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: ain't got the problems on the situation. So you had 196 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: always looked rosy on the other side, but you went 197 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: over to the other side. Now you don't let your 198 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 1: husband back in the house. Now you don't love him 199 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:15,200 Speaker 1: any more. Now you now the man. Guess what won't 200 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,320 Speaker 1: you back now? Guess what? I prayed on it and 201 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,720 Speaker 1: asked God to remove the other man from my heart. 202 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: It worked for a short time, but I seem to 203 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 1: be right back at the Saint cross Roads. You know 204 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: what that means to me? That means you're back sleeping 205 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,640 Speaker 1: with this dude again. Alright, guys, we have to go. 206 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: Good letter, but we gotta get out of here. You 207 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,559 Speaker 1: can email us or Instagram what's your thoughts on today's 208 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter at My Girls Shirley. Please don't forget to 209 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:43,600 Speaker 1: join me this coming Thursday at ONEm Eastern Time. That 210 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 1: is for Strawberry Letter Live After show on Facebook. You 211 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: can find me at My Girl Shirley or Shirley Strawberry 212 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 1: Okay on Facebook.