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Speaker 1: Scotti, Curtie b.

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Speaker 2: Are you ready for this one?

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Speaker 1: I'm glad to see you. I feel like we haven't

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Speaker 1: done one of these in a couple of weeks, and

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Speaker 1: it's it's good to be back.

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Speaker 2: It's good to be back. We haven't we haven't, and

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Speaker 2: we especially haven't done a solo weap in a while.

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Speaker 2: That's right, let's get right into it. Hit me half

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Speaker 2: the DNA on the New York City subway matches no

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Speaker 2: known organism.

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Speaker 1: WHOA not surprising? Very good? That is bananas.

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Speaker 3: I say, do worlds, would you believe it's your li

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Speaker 3: nozillion pieces? Would you? Banana ba ba.

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Speaker 2: Ba ba Ladies and gentlemen, are non binary folks out there,

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Speaker 2: Welcome to bananas. I am Kirk Brown older.

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Speaker 1: And I am Scotty Banana Boy number two landis. Thank

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Speaker 1: you to all our bananimals. We keep growing. It's word

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Speaker 1: of mouth. We just continue to keep growing. We love

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Speaker 1: making bananas. So thank you to everyone who gets their

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Speaker 1: friends at work hooked, their husbands, their partners, their wives,

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Speaker 1: their kids. We appreciate the.

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Speaker 2: Growth, really truly do. And I'll throw it out there

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Speaker 2: right now talking about growth that if you're in Los Angeles,

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Speaker 2: you can come on down and see me. Kurtie b

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Speaker 2: do an hour of stand up comedy on August eleventh

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Speaker 2: at the Dynasty Typewriter. Come on down, you'll see me

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Speaker 2: run my new hour before I record it for television posterity.

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Speaker 1: I'll be there one hundred percent. How were all your shows?

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Speaker 1: How are your Philly shows?

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Speaker 2: Does the bananimals show up in numbers or what the banana?

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Speaker 2: The bananimals were there in Philly? It was fantastic. There

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Speaker 2: was great someone dressed as a banana for one show.

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Speaker 2: Great another show, just someone just calmly handed me a

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Speaker 2: banana when I got on the stage. I love another one.

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Speaker 2: Someone three D printed a banana, and then I signed

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Speaker 2: the three D printed banana.

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Speaker 1: That's what it's all about. That's why you got into comedy,

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Speaker 1: right there exactly.

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Speaker 2: And then and they also requested that I sign it

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Speaker 2: from us, So I also forged your signature. So I

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Speaker 2: don't know if that's gonna come back on you win

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Speaker 2: a credit check.

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Speaker 1: But wow, we have very different handwriting, you and I

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Speaker 1: are handwriting? Could we are more similar as people than

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Speaker 1: our handwriting would suggest?

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Speaker 2: Yees different handwriting?

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Speaker 1: For real?

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Speaker 2: My handwriting looks like a like a crazed five year

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Speaker 2: old on Adderall cool.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, that's so great. I'm glad everybody's

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Speaker 1: coming out. I'll definitely be at that Dynasty Typewriter show.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited to hear your new hour, not over zoom,

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Speaker 1: not over hot tubs on zoom, so pretty exciting. I

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Speaker 1: went and got acupunctured today for the first time in

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Speaker 1: my life.

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Speaker 2: Wow, for what? For doing something or.

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Speaker 1: For general wellness? General health? I wanted to add a little.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to switch it up now that the grand

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Speaker 1: reopening is in full effect, and I just felt like

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Speaker 1: I'm liking what I'm doing, drinking less, dieting more, all

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Speaker 1: the good stuff that people do. But I was like,

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Speaker 1: I want to give this a whirl, and I loved it.

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Speaker 1: I'm hooked.

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Speaker 2: Oh good you Oh great, Maybe I'll go and check

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Speaker 2: that out.

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Speaker 1: I like that there's a new one in Outwater. That's

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Speaker 1: why I was walking by a storefront like last week

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Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, this is a

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Speaker 1: sign I'm eating a burrito. Today's the day.

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Speaker 2: Oh great, I can walk to that. I'll do that, sir. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I used to do acupuncture for my back. I like

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Speaker 2: fucked up my back. When I was like twenty four,

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Speaker 2: it was like, you know how like in I don't

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Speaker 2: know for me at least, I had just never exercised

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Speaker 2: ever ever ever. And then like twenty five, Yes, so

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Speaker 2: was surfing. It was cold out. I did a turn

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Speaker 2: and you know, it was like you know, November, so

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Speaker 2: it was like pretty cold, and did one turn and

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Speaker 2: then just fucked my back for like two straight weeks. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and that was like went in. But I had to

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Speaker 2: do acupuncture. Acupucture help so much like get it, yes,

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Speaker 2: ever it does, I.

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Speaker 1: Get it flowing, get those energies flowing. So you started

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Speaker 1: doing that specifically for lower back pain, and it.

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Speaker 2: Did that, and then I started like exercising, and then

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Speaker 2: that was like for the first time of my life.

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Speaker 2: And like when you first start exercising, you just like

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Speaker 2: drop a ton of weight and you're just like, oh,

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Speaker 2: this is easy, and then you realize that that's just

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Speaker 2: for when you did it for the first time, but

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Speaker 2: it doesn't do that every time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, those first seven pounds fall off like no sweat,

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Speaker 1: and then it's like half a pound a week for

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Speaker 1: the rest of your life, and then you put it

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Speaker 1: all back on. I when I was like twenty six

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Speaker 1: or twenty seven. I sneezed and threw my back out.

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Speaker 1: Same thing. Never worked out like I was an athlete

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Speaker 1: in high school. Never after that. And it was my

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Speaker 1: first sort of co show running position. So I was doing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I get out of the shower and I sneezed

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Speaker 1: with a towel on, dropped to my knee iron man

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Speaker 1: style and couldn't stand up straight like I'd never Oh.

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Speaker 1: It was the worst pain in my life. So I

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Speaker 1: get I to get dressed. I had to do this

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Speaker 1: bend where I would like like s my head to

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Speaker 1: the left and then stand up sort of on my

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Speaker 1: left leg more and then straighten up to my right leg,

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Speaker 1: and so I put my clothes on. Hurts the entire

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Speaker 1: time I get on the subway, I ride in the city,

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Speaker 1: we drive out to Jersey. It's a show that was

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Speaker 1: called Best Man, and the concept was two comedians male

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Speaker 1: and female comics would hang out with the bridal party

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Speaker 1: and the groomsman the week before and then roast them

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Speaker 1: at the reception. Okay, so pretty simple concept. So I'm

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Speaker 1: so the women are doing things bridesmaids and whatever do.

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Speaker 1: So they did a zumba class, they did a tarot

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Speaker 1: card reading, they did a like a wine tasting night. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: I'm standing behind the camera bent bent in half like

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Speaker 1: with headset on handle my hip like wincing in pain

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Speaker 1: watching these women do rumba. The men are doing like

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Speaker 1: their motorcycle club and all this dorky shit, and the

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Speaker 1: whole time, like every time I get out of the van,

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Speaker 1: I just look like old man cratch it, just like

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Speaker 1: here we go. And for a week it was the

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Speaker 1: most severe pain I've ever been in my life. And

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Speaker 1: ever since I was like, I'm not letting this happen again,

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Speaker 1: no matter what, I'll just never sneeze again. But it

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Speaker 1: was cool to stand in a zoomba room and see

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Speaker 1: your own reflection while strangers are zumba in in front

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Speaker 1: of you, and to be like, I look like I'm

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Speaker 1: a leering pervert right now.

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Speaker 2: Also I just do wander like zoomba does Zumba still exist?

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Speaker 2: Like there are those like those fads that come and

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Speaker 2: it's everywhere, and then there must be like a core

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Speaker 2: of people though, who are like we still zumba. Like

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Speaker 2: they have their thing, they like it, they found it,

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Speaker 2: you know, and they sit in there there's just like

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Speaker 2: one place in the Tri state area where can zoom. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe zoomba is very popular, and no

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Speaker 2: I what I'm talking about.

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Speaker 1: There was an escort service running out of one that

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Speaker 1: made Banana news a while ago. A guy was running

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Speaker 1: as there was a madam or something running it through

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Speaker 1: her zoom and all these guys kept coming, and I

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Speaker 1: think somebody was finally like, I've never seen this. Many

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Speaker 1: middle aged men go to zoomer class. What's going on

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Speaker 1: in that building?

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Speaker 2: Eh?

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Speaker 1: Not bad? I missed out on it. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: do it, but I couldn't move without crying.

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Speaker 2: All right, you want to get into this story, hit

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Speaker 2: me half the DNA on the NYC subway matches no

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Speaker 2: known organisms. Just sent in by Brenda Darcy. Thank you, Brenda,

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Speaker 2: Thank you Brenda Darcy. It's on Gizmoto U Sarah.

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Speaker 1: Gizmoto story too. This is a big day for Gizmoto.

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Speaker 2: Sarah Zang or Jang wrote this in twenty fifteen. Actually, okay,

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Speaker 2: all right, the results of a massive new DNA sequencing

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Speaker 2: project on the New York City subway have just been published,

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Speaker 2: and yep, there's a lot of bacteria on the subway

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Speaker 2: that we know most of it is armless. What's really important, though,

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Speaker 2: is what we don't know about it. It's called the

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Speaker 2: pathomp project, which involves sampling turnstiles, benches, and keypads at

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Speaker 2: four hundred and sixty six stations. Found fifteen thousand, one

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Speaker 2: hundred and fifty two lifeforms in total, half of which

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Speaker 2: half of which were bacterial. And the Wall Street Journal

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Speaker 2: has created a fun interactive microbial map of the subway

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Speaker 2: out of the day that.

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Speaker 1: Does sound fun.

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Speaker 2: I mean the first the first fun thing the Wall

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Speaker 2: Street Turtle's ever done. Hey guys, let's get into this

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Speaker 2: microbial map. And so showing where the lines of the

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Speaker 2: showing where on the lines the bacteria quote associated with

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Speaker 2: everything from mozzarella, cheese, okay, staff infections was found. So

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Speaker 2: but associated with is a pretty fuzzy term that runs

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Speaker 2: up against limits of science so in the past years.

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Speaker 2: So basically this is where in the article. And I

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Speaker 2: find that, like the so many articles we are sound

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Speaker 2: suffer from this the catchy title and the totally false title.

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Speaker 2: So the fact that there's half of the DNA sampled, yes,

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Speaker 2: is no known organism. It is simply because we in

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Speaker 2: two twenty fifteen had not sequenced the DNA of all

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Speaker 2: the bacteria come on, so it's just other bacteria that

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Speaker 2: hasn't been sequenced, probably, but there's a chance.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I wanted like sewer creatures. Yes, I wanted something

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Speaker 1: coming out of the Guanas Canal with like four noses

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Speaker 1: on the back of its head that could smell its

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Speaker 1: own But do you know.

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Speaker 2: I pitched I was pitched a Vice column because for

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Speaker 2: a little while I wrote for Vice, Cool had me

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Speaker 2: and Albertina Rizzo had a sex advice column called Hot

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Speaker 2: Dog the Lady.

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Speaker 1: Bun Very Good, and it was all.

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Speaker 2: It was all fake sex advice, do you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean? We would just make it up. And but

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Speaker 2: while I was trying to pitch that, I pitched them

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Speaker 2: a another idea, which would be me doing incredibly dangerous

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Speaker 2: and stupid things. And the one I pitched them was

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Speaker 2: scuba diving the Iguanas Canal. And so really, yeah, we

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Speaker 2: had a guy because I have I'm a certified scuba diver,

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Speaker 2: and we had a guy look into it and he said,

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Speaker 2: you could technically do it, you would have to be

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Speaker 2: completely decontaminated after it, like a bleach bath. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: he said that he honestly thought that it would reduce

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Speaker 2: my life span, so that they really insurance for it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, wow, And so that advice wasn't gonna pay for that?

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Speaker 2: No, No, not at all to reduce my life span

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Speaker 2: of how much money I could be making the last

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Speaker 2: five years of my life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Remember the dolphin that would always come up from

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Speaker 1: Florida and go in the Guana guanas. For those people

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Speaker 1: that don't know, it's in Brooklyn. It's like an old

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Speaker 1: shipping canal. Some people still live on it. I've heard

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Speaker 1: it was called like the lavender Lake because this ink

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Speaker 1: company used to just dump excess poisonous ink into it

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Speaker 1: or something. Yep. But there was a dolphin named Mucky,

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Speaker 1: the dolphin that they would keep trying. They would it

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Speaker 1: would come up the guanas and they're like, you're gonna die, Mucky,

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Speaker 1: this is not good for you. Take it back to Florida.

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Speaker 1: And then the next year here comes Mucky. Just want

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Speaker 1: more of that lavender action. A long time ago. Oh,

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Speaker 1: but I believe it. The stuff that happened I after

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Speaker 1: leaving New York and going back after six years riding

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Speaker 1: the subway, like just touching the poles and stuff. When

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Speaker 1: I was there, I didn't think about it as much

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Speaker 1: because it was your day to day three or four

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Speaker 1: tat day. But going back, ooh baby, it is gross.

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Speaker 2: It is the fact the subway was always so fascinating.

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Speaker 2: I remember. So this must have been I'm gonna say

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Speaker 2: nineteen ninety nine or two thousand or early two thousand,

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Speaker 2: because it was definitely before nine to eleven and we

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Speaker 2: got word I think the Deem new Quist I will

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Speaker 2: give credit where credit is due, yeah, told me. And

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Speaker 2: I think John Daly and Brick Galeman and a bunch

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Speaker 2: of other friends were just like, there's gonna be an

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Speaker 2: F train party, so come and beyond like the second

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Speaker 2: Avenue platform at like ten pm or something. And it's

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Speaker 2: around the second Avenue platform and there are there's a

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Speaker 2: thousand people on this platform. There's a marching band. You

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Speaker 2: like walk into it and I'd never experienced anything like this.

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Speaker 2: Then the F train pulls in and the door's open

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Speaker 2: and then everyone just gets on the train and then

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Speaker 2: it was a train wide party. There was a marching

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Speaker 2: band that went from one end to the other would

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Speaker 2: just turn around and keep going back and forth. The

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Speaker 2: people on the I guess they had got on it

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Speaker 2: like West fourth or something, dozens of people and then

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Speaker 2: decorated every car. They taped orange elphane over all the lights,

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Speaker 2: so the whole thing was orange and it was like

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Speaker 2: themed with like orange flowers, so everyone had orange frons.

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Speaker 2: People put orange flowers stuck into places, and then it

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Speaker 2: was just a crazy insane party where everyone was just

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Speaker 2: like dancing and chanting. People started we started smoking in

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Speaker 2: between the cars because at that government we could go

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Speaker 2: in between cars.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it was a fun time. People would pee between

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Speaker 1: the subway cars while they were driving going home, and

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Speaker 1: it was it was so wild. Yeah, it was cool.

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Speaker 1: I definitely did it.

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Speaker 2: I definitely peeded that time because it was just like

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Speaker 2: we were just drinking and then we get we pull

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Speaker 2: into Coney Island. Yes, that's that DNA. Yeah, and we

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Speaker 2: pull into Coney Island and then the doors open and

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Speaker 2: everyone we're just like what happens now? So it's like whatever,

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Speaker 2: it's about an hour maybe an hour ride out to

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Speaker 2: Coney Island on the F train and we're like, well,

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Speaker 2: what what happens now? And then everyone just started like

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Speaker 2: a guy with.

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Speaker 1: A tuba was just like follow me. Yes, and he's like.

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Speaker 2: And leads us like down the thing down onto the

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Speaker 2: beach where there are all these fire twirlers, and then

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Speaker 2: it was just like and then we just partied on

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Speaker 2: the beach until like five in the morning.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: It was like the one time where I was just like, God,

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Speaker 2: damn it, New York City, you did it. This is

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Speaker 2: the reason I live here.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, I hope that stuffs still going on. That's going on.

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Speaker 2: But if anybody out there knows who organized the nineteen

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Speaker 2: between nineteen ninety nine and two thousand and one F

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Speaker 2: Train party, because there were many other train parties we

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Speaker 2: want on afterwards, but the F Train Party by far

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Speaker 2: the very best one. It was the best curated, no doubt,

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Speaker 2: the best music.

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Speaker 1: So we'll send them something. Let's send them a uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, an orange crush. We'll send them something. We

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Speaker 1: got to commemorate it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, hundred percent, an orange tape to an orange crush

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Speaker 2: with a face drawn on it. So it's your own

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Speaker 2: little guy.

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Speaker 1: So do the work. Let's find this guy. Let's let's

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Speaker 1: get out our gal or goal. You never know, these.

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Speaker 2: Probably a group, it's probably collective.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, Okay, you want one, I do. This was sent

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Speaker 1: in by our homeboy copy Hose copy Base. We know

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Speaker 1: he is just going for the world record. He's he's

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Speaker 1: he's coming up on being like Banana Boy number four.

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Speaker 1: He's getting close. I'm going to go to his car.

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Speaker 1: He's got that comic book shop on the west side.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go check it out. Yeah, smart guy. Smart

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Speaker 1: guy steals twenty one million dollars worth of lunar rocks

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Speaker 1: to have sex on the moon. Wait, I like and

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Speaker 1: this is from sci fi dot com. I don't think

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Speaker 1: they had a writer, so we'll just say media mist

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Speaker 1: and the biz. We don't know how he missed this story,

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Speaker 1: but a few years ago, a NASA intern was convicted

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Speaker 1: of moon rock theft. Specifically, he stole moonrock so he

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Speaker 1: could have sex with his girlfriend on them. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I get what he's going for here. In brief A

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Speaker 1: few years ago, Thad Roberts sad that it sounds like

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Speaker 1: I panicked and just made that name up. What's your name?

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Speaker 1: So Roberts, thank you Amazon delivery person who was in

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Speaker 1: love with his girlfriend of three weeks and after three weeks,

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Speaker 1: who isn't in love three weeks? The passion you both

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Speaker 1: like sushi who knew three?

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Speaker 2: Are you guys even girlfriend boyfriend like that? That's amazing

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Speaker 2: that they decided that that early on?

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Speaker 1: All right, are you even that bored in your relationship

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Speaker 1: where you're like, well, I have an idea.

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Speaker 2: Three weeks in and I am bored of sex with you?

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Speaker 2: Can we do it on the moon?

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Speaker 1: Could it hurt more? Yeah, let's lay on some let's

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Speaker 1: lay on some stuff. So, in a grand romantic gesture,

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Speaker 1: he stole moon rocks so they could jam the rocks

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Speaker 1: under their motel room mattress and have quote sex on

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Speaker 1: the moon. Because Roberts interned at NASA, he didn't have

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Speaker 1: to go far for these moon rocks. All he had

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Speaker 1: to do was circumvent NASA's security system in a heist

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Speaker 1: worthy of Oceans eleven. Okay, okay, weird writing, Okay, so

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Speaker 1: I FI dot com. Of course things went wrong for

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Speaker 1: our Sexoh not when you decided to sell the moon

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Speaker 1: rocks on the internet. Thad you moron?

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Speaker 2: Oh come on? That is he could destroyed at this

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Speaker 2: so he yes, you ruined it. You could have fucked

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Speaker 2: on the moon rocks and then put them back. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: God to get greedy, And isn't that how all great heists.

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Speaker 2: Heists get spoiled anyway, that's right, he gets.

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Speaker 1: Greedy, that's right. In heist movies, it's the plan, the execution,

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Speaker 1: and the escape. And you the way you write those

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00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,560
Speaker 1: movies is you you nail the execution the first time,

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Speaker 1: you screwed up the second time, and then you completely

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Speaker 1: fudge the escape. And that's what our buddy Thad Horny

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Speaker 1: Roberts did. Uh. He wasn't really a criminal, says Mezerich,

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Speaker 1: who I don't know who that is. He didn't think

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Speaker 1: it through, after the after effects through. I asked him

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Speaker 1: a dozen times over the years, how did you think

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Speaker 1: you were going to get away with this? And he

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Speaker 1: said it was just part of the thought process. He

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Speaker 1: thought of it kind of like a college prank. Even

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Speaker 1: if I do get caught, what's the worst they can

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Speaker 1: do to me. What they did do to him was

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Speaker 1: send him to federal prison for seven and a half years.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, seven and a half years in federal prison.

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Speaker 2: For why because it's federal property or what? Why? Seven

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Speaker 2: and a half years for taking some rocks?

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Speaker 1: Because the moon rocks were worth twenty one million dollars

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Speaker 1: they were.

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Speaker 2: Not Oh, he said, they put it underneath their motel

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Speaker 2: room bed. Yeah, he could have bought the motel with

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00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:03,200
Speaker 2: one of them.

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Speaker 1: Yes, quite easily. Quite. Oh, it's so like, this is

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Speaker 1: such an easy one to get away with. I liked

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Speaker 1: the initial concept and I like that he did the math.

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Speaker 1: You can see the Gerbil wheel turning in his head

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Speaker 1: where he goes, wait a sec, and I can put

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Speaker 1: those rocks under that crappy motel bed. I'm gonna impress

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Speaker 1: my maybe girlfriend of three weeks. Maybe she's gonna be horrified,

367
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Speaker 1: but I yeah, I think it was a great idea

368
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Speaker 1: that he absolutely did not deserve seven years in prison

369
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Speaker 1: for no. But trying to sell them is like so stupid.

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Speaker 2: It's so stupid because guess what verified moon rocks. We

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Speaker 2: all know they've got one supplier.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it might be NASSA, it might.

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Speaker 2: Be a government agency. There's no there's no fool in

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Speaker 2: anyone on that moon rocks don't just jump off the

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Speaker 2: and fall to earth.

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Speaker 1: Did you ever go to one of those hotels that

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00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 1: each room is decorated like a different, like the sort

378
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 1: of like sex hotels where they're like, hey, this room

379
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,399
Speaker 1: is a jungle, this room is it?

380
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Speaker 2: Did you ever go to one of those I went

381
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Speaker 2: to the Madonna Inn, which is kind of fun. It's

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Speaker 2: kind of like that, but not really.

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Speaker 1: My buddy, I will leave him name this because his

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Speaker 1: daughters might be listening to this podcast. But a buddy

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Speaker 1: of mine college friend. After college, he and his then

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Speaker 1: girlfriend now wife wanted to go to Japan. It was

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Speaker 1: like a long dream of theirs to go to Japan.

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Speaker 1: And they saved up all this money and they go

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Speaker 1: to Tokyo and they go all around Japan and they're

390
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Speaker 1: having a wonderful time. And they had heard of this

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Speaker 1: really cool hotel just outside the city that I think

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Speaker 1: they had to take a taxi to, where every room

393
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Speaker 1: is insanely decorated, like themed rooms, like one is an

394
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Speaker 1: one is an Iceberg room, and everything looks like Iceberg's.

395
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Speaker 1: One is a jungle room, one is. Everything's really big,

396
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Speaker 1: so you have to check in by a certain time.

397
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Speaker 1: They get there by a certain time. They said they

398
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Speaker 1: had to walk up this hill and it's kind of

399
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:06,639
Speaker 1: the only hotel inside. So they go in, they check in.

400
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 1: They don't speak Japanese very well at all, and the

401
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 1: person at the window did not speak English very well,

402
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 1: but they are at all, so they just give them

403
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Speaker 1: the credit card. They go in, They go in the room,

404
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 1: it's like seven pm. They have a really fun, cool room.

405
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 1: They have sex, and then they like don't really want

406
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 1: to just watch Japanese TV, and they kind of got

407
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: like a little weirded out and they were just like,

408
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 1: you know what, let's just go back to this city.

409
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 1: So they try to leave and their hotel room door

410
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 1: is locked, and so they can't get it open, and

411
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 1: so they're like knocking on the door and they're trying

412
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:42,200
Speaker 1: different things, and they're like, this is so strange. They

413
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 1: call down, nobody answers the phone. Then they call down

414
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: again and somebody answers, speaking Japanese, and they're like, Hi,

415
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 1: we would just like to leave. We're in this room,

416
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 1: we're on the third floor, can you please, And the

417
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 1: person says something in Japanese and hangs up like really quietly,

418
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 1: like no, you can't, very quietly basically, so they start

419
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 1: to panic. They both have like simultaneous panic attacks, of course,

420
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 1: because they are trapped in a themed room.

421
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 2: This nightmare.

422
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 1: It's an absolute nightmare, and it's like ten PM at

423
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 1: this part, so they can't even get out of this room.

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Speaker 1: So they they consider jumping out of the third floor window.

425
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 1: So they go, let's get out of this third floor window.

426
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 1: So they can't unlock it. It's not opening. They were like,

427
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,360
Speaker 1: do we pick up a chair and throw it out

428
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 1: the window and then jump, But then they're like, well,

429
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Speaker 1: we're gonna have to walk like a mile or two

430
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 1: miles to the train station. So then they just stay

431
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 1: awake watching Japanese game shows and news and chat shows

432
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Speaker 1: all night long, and then in the morning, at like

433
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Speaker 1: seven am, they just hear like click click, and they

434
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 1: go over and the doors open and they look down

435
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 1: the halls and the halls are empty, and so they

436
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 1: like run, they said, they like ran down the stairs.

437
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,879
Speaker 1: The woman says like goodbye. They run out the door,

438
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 1: and they like get a they get they walk to

439
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 1: the train station, and when they got back they talked

440
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 1: to their friend and apparently they're this type of hotel

441
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: is like you go and it's where a lot of

442
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,879
Speaker 1: businessmen go to have affairs, and so they don't want

443
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 1: you to run into anybody in the hallway of like

444
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,640
Speaker 1: when they're having their affair. And they didn't know this,

445
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 1: so once you're in the room after like eight pm,

446
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:21,479
Speaker 1: it's lockdown. Until like the next morning. But they had

447
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 1: no idea, so they were just in this bizarro video

448
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: game type world where they were like let us out,

449
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 1: not knowing when it was gonna end. And then when

450
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,520
Speaker 1: it ended, there was nobody else in the floor, nobody

451
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,400
Speaker 1: in the lobby because it's one room at a time

452
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 1: is led out so that you never have like you

453
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,919
Speaker 1: never see anybody, and you're so ashamed that you're, you know,

454
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 1: with a sex worker or something.

455
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 2: Like God, holy shit, that's insane.

456
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 1: It blew my mind. And when I went to Tokyo,

457
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 1: I was like walking around with Kristin, Sean Rich and

458
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 1: I went and we were like looking at every storefront

459
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: and there were some great names and each time I'm like, God,

460
00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,680
Speaker 1: I wonder if we get trapped in there's a business

461
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: called if Kristin and Rich are still listening out to

462
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 1: their back from there was a business that we walked

463
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 1: by every day called one Thousand Sluts, and it looked

464
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:12,439
Speaker 1: like a law firm. Did not look like a brothelers

465
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 1: of the looked like a law firm.

466
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 2: So lost that is so funny. That reminds me someone

467
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 2: just sent this thing in that I really wanted to

468
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 2: post on the Instagram, but it's not actually correct, but

469
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 2: POLY looked it up. But it's a you know how

470
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 2: people have been doing those banana drawings where they like

471
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 2: tap it and bruises the growing.

472
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 1: How cool is that?

473
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 2: It's very cool? But this this one was and I

474
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,640
Speaker 2: can't remember if it was Chinese or Japanese, but let's

475
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 2: say it was Chinese and it was saying the or

476
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 2: maybe I don't know. I can't remember which Asian language

477
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 2: it was, but they were the ones with symbols, and

478
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,400
Speaker 2: it was two symbols. It's languages where it's two symbols

479
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 2: for a penguin, okay, And it said this symbol, the

480
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 2: first symbol means business and the second symbol means.

481
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:06,080
Speaker 1: Goose business goose business scoose.

482
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,200
Speaker 2: For a penguin, which is so beautiful, and I wished

483
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 2: it was true, and I looked up it's it's like

484
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 2: it's well, the last symbol is the last character does

485
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 2: mean goose, and the first symbol means like the first

486
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:25,199
Speaker 2: part of the first symbol means like business enterprise, but

487
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 2: then the next part of it essentially means like like

488
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 2: tiptoeing feet essentially, so it.

489
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 1: Means even funnier on a banana on a banana.

490
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 2: It is kind of it's kind of great. I'll look

491
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:43,440
Speaker 2: it up and I'll post it.

492
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 1: I saw Rob Anderson the other night and we were

493
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,959
Speaker 1: talking about money from strangers in the street. Games and

494
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 1: there was a game show that Kurt and I both

495
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 1: worked on where on New York City. I think we

496
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 1: talked about it in a couple episodes ago. But we

497
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 1: would pay people. Our host, Jeff I would walk up

498
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 1: to people in the street and go, hey, for forty dollars,

499
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 1: will you do this thing? That was totally absurd. It

500
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 1: was great. But one of them, we walked up to

501
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:08,119
Speaker 1: this guy and we said, hey, will you get a

502
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: tattoo for one hundred dollars? And the guy goes, yeah,

503
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 1: I'll get anything for one hundred dollars. And we go, well,

504
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:17,399
Speaker 1: you get Chinese lettering and he goes yeah, and Jeff's like,

505
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 1: but I get to pick what it says. The Guy's like,

506
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 1: I don't care. So I called my friend Mark Wasserman,

507
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 1: who lives in lived in China. I think at the

508
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 1: time he was living in Taipei actually, but he can

509
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: speak like so many dialects of Chinese uh, And I said,

510
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 1: how do you say beef cannon. And he sent it

511
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 1: to our lawyer. He like drew it. And then that

512
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 1: guy got a tattoo that says beef cannon on his

513
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 1: cap for one hundred dollars. And he was and it

514
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 1: was the same thing. Mark was like, there's a couple

515
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 1: of different words for cannon, Like do you mean like

516
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,440
Speaker 1: I was, like, like a thing that shoots a cannon ball,

517
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 1: like a missile launcher. He goes, Okay. So somewhere in

518
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 1: New York City there's a guy walking around with beef

519
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 1: cannon tattooed on his like, oh money.

520
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:03,439
Speaker 2: Well man man be see nineteen eighty five BCE beef cannon.

521
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 2: Thank god, let me send you, let us send it.

522
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,640
Speaker 2: Let me send us out to a break with one

523
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 2: Jesus Man. Map map map from Immaculate Conceptions to Alien Abduction.

524
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 2: The five Weirdest insurance policies.

525
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,359
Speaker 1: Oh I like this, this is gonna be I like

526
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 1: this kind of crap like Mary Heart's legs, more insurance

527
00:27:26,920 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 1: dumb stuff. On Bananas Podcast.

528
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Bananas. Just a reminder,

529
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 2: please go and rate and review us. It means a lot.

530
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:11,120
Speaker 2: On Apple podcasts, sure, does matter to us. And uh again, also,

531
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 2: if you're in Louisiana or Texas, I'll be in laugh

532
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 2: At August fifth. I'll be in Houston, Texas August fifth, sixth,

533
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 2: and Brian, Texas August seventh, and of course Los Angeles

534
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 2: August eleventh. All of the ticket links are in our

535
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 2: profile on our Instagram. Go follow us on Instagram. The

536
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 2: Bananas Podcast dm us your Strange News as well.

537
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you, Kurt, because when we started

538
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 1: this podcast, you just said I need a podcast because

539
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 1: I have to announce my stand up dates. And then

540
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 1: we started it for that reason right before Quarantine the

541
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: Great Car and we you had zero dates and now

542
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 1: you're back out there making them laugh all around the country.

543
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: I couldn't be happier.

544
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 2: We started it for that reason, but it but has

545
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 2: become so much more, hasn't it, Scottie.

546
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 1: It's completely different, and it's because of the benevolent overload.

547
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 1: It's Karen and Georgia gave us the support right off

548
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 1: the bat, but it really was Kurt said to me, like,

549
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 1: I need a podcast to announce my stand up dates.

550
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: Stand up need that. So we got together and we said,

551
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: I know what it can be, and Kurt named it

552
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 1: bananas and look at.

553
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 2: Us go this is great. And the fact that everybody

554
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 2: is continuing to support the podcast. We really really it's

555
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 2: just like I appreciate it every day. Get on that.

556
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 2: Oh and we still are responding to every single DM.

557
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 1: Yes for we're going to try to keep that going

558
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: as long as possible. And I do have some uh

559
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: we never really came up with a word for these,

560
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 1: but I got some banana phone updates. I just want

561
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 1: to say some shout outs. Yeah, well it's too late.

562
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 1: We didn't think of a name, and now it's going

563
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,479
Speaker 1: to end August first, But thanks everybody's calling. It's been

564
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 1: so fun catching up of everybody. Lauren Feene who listened

565
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: to us during the hardest parts of her labor and

566
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: now has a beautiful baby girl, congratulations, thanks for listening

567
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 1: to us. That's very fun and cool. This one might

568
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 1: be a week late, but Aaron Erdman are our number

569
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 1: five banana boy from Paige Roasting Company has a birthday

570
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 1: on July first. She sends in so many great stories

571
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 1: for us and sent us coffee, So thank you. Aaron

572
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 1: pep birthday. She lives in Champagne Illinois go to Page

573
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 1: ROAs Champagne Illinois, the toast of the country. If that's

574
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 1: not their slogan, the fucking idiots the toast of the

575
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:26,479
Speaker 1: country go to Page Roasting Company. Buy too much coffee.

576
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 1: Let Aeronrdman know the Banana Boy sent you. So I

577
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 1: got two more Curdie by Jake and Abbey in Saint Louis.

578
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 1: This is their two year anniversary. They just I think

579
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 1: Abby was like, hey, let's do it. Let's let's get

580
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 1: a shout out. So congratulations. And if you're on the

581
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: road trip that you mentioned to me, absolutely Google like

582
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 1: dumb roadside attractions. Take as many photo as you can.

583
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 1: They make road trips worth it and have fun. And lastly,

584
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 1: our buddy Sam, who calls Banana far Oh quite a

585
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 1: bit and has send us a bunch of stuff, wanted

586
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: to recommend the Little Buddies Refuge in Philadelphia. That's at

587
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 1: Little Buddies Refuge on Instagram. They are an animal shelter

588
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 1: for guinea pigs.

589
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 2: Whoa wow, pretty cool.

590
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,959
Speaker 1: He went't got two guinea pigs. But if you're if

591
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: you're in Philly and you want to get yourself a pet,

592
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 1: and you're gonna take good care of it. Go do

593
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 1: little buddies refuge and go get an adorable guinea pig.

594
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 1: Thank you Sam. Thanks for everybody for texting and caller who.

595
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 2: Knew guinea pigs have a long enough life span to

596
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 2: require shelter. That's amazing, good for guinea pig.

597
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: Yes, you could tell me any life span for a

598
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 1: guinea pig and I would absolutely buy it.

599
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 2: You could be like, surprisingly fifty years. I'd be like,

600
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 2: that makes so much sense. And you go like six days.

601
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 2: He'd be like, yeah, I get it makes sense.

602
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 1: They're very small, their hearts beat fast. It's all metabolism,

603
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: it really is these days. Oh buddy, anything else or

604
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 1: do we dive back into insurance for the stars.

605
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 2: Oh? Man, well, no, we got to dive right back in.

606
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 2: I was about to say something and I've lost it.

607
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 2: It's gone away from me. I needed to say that

608
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 2: guinea pig thing. Look at that.

609
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: All right?

610
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 2: From Immaculate Conceptions to alien abduction, the five Weirdest insurance policies.

611
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 2: This was sent in by Ian Harvey Yap. Yes, and

612
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 2: this is from first time, the first I'm surprised. This

613
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 2: is the first time we've ever had something from rt

614
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 2: dot com Also, is it the Russian Times. I don't know.

615
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 2: It's a weird suspect a news source at the best

616
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 2: of times. Yes, but it is interesting that a lot

617
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 2: of our I guess it's not that interesting that a

618
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 2: lot to me weird news comes from like kind of

619
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 2: suspect news sources. But yeah, but I look these up.

620
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 2: They are true. Okay, Well, let's not say that I

621
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 2: read the people. I read the article. When I said

622
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 2: I looked it up, I read the article on RT.

623
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 1: I'm fully invested at this point. I'll go to the

624
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 1: bat for this any day of the week.

625
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 2: Look, I am sensitive right now, Scottie, because I got duped.

626
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 2: I am the first. We've been doing this for a

627
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 2: year and a half almost, and I got duped last

628
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 2: episode we recorded where I thought that the man falling

629
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 2: on the amusement park ride twenty thousand times over the

630
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 2: course of forty eight hours was real because and I'll

631
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 2: explain myself, it was on the CBC, and there was

632
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 2: no thing, there was no like tagline to say like

633
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 2: this is because CBC. Like, it's not like I was

634
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 2: reading the Onion and just not knowing that the Onion

635
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 2: was a satirical website. I pride myself on having a

636
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 2: pretty good nose for when something's fake, and I usually

637
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 2: it seems a little bit fake, I'll I'll like go

638
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 2: and like make sure it's real.

639
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 1: It was on the CBC.

640
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 2: I just I just trusted these fucking Canadians.

641
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:13,280
Speaker 1: And yeah, what happened to trust a Canadian? You get screwed.

642
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,360
Speaker 1: It's now time and time again.

643
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 2: Over and over and over again. So I am now

644
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 2: suspicious of all Canadians. I went from loving them and

645
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 2: loving everything about their country to suspicion. And just for

646
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 2: those not familiar with what I'm talking about, they had

647
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 2: a satirical radio show called This Is That, and apparently

648
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 2: CBC would put on their website article like things that

649
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 2: looked like articles from this satirical radio show, but there's

650
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,840
Speaker 2: really no It doesn't say from this as that or

651
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:49,800
Speaker 2: anything like that. It's it's very.

652
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 1: Like a thief in the Canadians. They steal our credibility.

653
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 1: But that was the Megan Gaily episode, by the way,

654
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,359
Speaker 1: and she was a great guest. Go back and give

655
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:00,760
Speaker 1: it a re listen. But if we do a candidate

656
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 1: tour during the grand reopening, I want to ride that

657
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,840
Speaker 1: coast to coast train. They apparently they have a beautiful train,

658
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: and I want to go Vancouver to Nova Scotia and

659
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,799
Speaker 1: whatever dumbtowns we stop in in Calgary or I love,

660
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 1: or Saskatoon is that one. I want to stop in

661
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 1: these towns and play little rock venues and then hop

662
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,240
Speaker 1: back on that train with you. They would order.

663
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:31,760
Speaker 2: Salad, all right, salads in sasaax.

664
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: How's about that?

665
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 2: Only the whole way. I love trains so much. I

666
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:40,280
Speaker 2: would always take the New Jersey Transit from Penn Station

667
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:44,280
Speaker 2: towns on the coast to my home in Neptune, New Jersey.

668
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 1: And yeah, for.

669
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 2: A long period of time when I was living in

670
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 2: New York City, I would sit when comedy wasn't going

671
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 2: that great. I would sit and rack my mind, like

672
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 2: what could I do anything else? And the only thing

673
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 2: I could come up with was being a trained conductor.

674
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,760
Speaker 1: You would be a great train conductor. Oh my gosh,

675
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,760
Speaker 1: I love it. I would career for you. And now

676
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:11,280
Speaker 1: after comedy, you could conduct it an old man's age.

677
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 1: Yeah right, they'll have you. They'll have me. Get your

678
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 1: kids in college, you go conduct some traits here. It is.

679
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 2: These are different. This is from three years ago. Written

680
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:30,360
Speaker 2: by no one, thank you RT worst than the biz

681
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 2: so it just says some stuff. These are the most

682
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,720
Speaker 2: bizarre types of insurance ever made available on the market.

683
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 2: Immaculate Conception cover. In two thousand and six, three sisters

684
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 2: from Inverness, Scotland were left reeling after their million pound

685
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 2: policy insuring themselves against becoming mother to the second Coming

686
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 2: of Jesus Christ was withdrawn. Oh Essex based British Insurance

687
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 2: had charged annual premium of around one hundred pounds on

688
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 2: a one million dollar policy since two thousands. Speaking to

689
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 2: BBC at the time, managing director Simon Burgess said the

690
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 2: cover had been meant to pay for the cost of

691
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 2: bringing up a child in the case of a virgin birth,

692
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 2: but the company chose not to renew the policy after

693
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 2: receiving a number of complaints from the Catholic Church and

694
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 2: other Christian groups. I love that these three sisters were

695
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 2: so convinced, yeah, and also that they did not want

696
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 2: to pay for the God. That they did believe that

697
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 2: they might have the second Jesus, but that they did

698
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 2: not want to pay for his shoes.

699
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 1: You gotta have belief, bud, I mean, that's what it's

700
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:46,399
Speaker 1: all about these three, these three Catholic sisters.

701
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 2: Just ready, my goodness, that's that is amazing.

702
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 1: How much was it? A million pounds?

703
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 2: Million pounds? So that cover, that cover, So that get you,

704
00:37:58,520 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 2: get you some good shoes.

705
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 1: I'll get you there. That'll get you some clocks.

706
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:07,399
Speaker 2: Another one sensory insurance. London food critic. In nineteen ninety three,

707
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 2: London food critic Egon Rene raised eyebrows by ensuring his

708
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 2: taste buds to the two one hundred and ninety thousand

709
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 2: dollars at the time when they argued that being stripped

710
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,239
Speaker 2: of his sense of taste would be like a sculpture,

711
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 2: a sculptor losing the use of his hands.

712
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:24,400
Speaker 1: It's not that hard.

713
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 2: But then someone else took it to the next eleven

714
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 2: two thousand and nine, Gennaro Pelitia, when he bought cover

715
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:36,800
Speaker 2: for his tongue worth thirteen million dollars.

716
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 1: For pleasing people. Is he a singer? Is he a singer? No?

717
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 2: He is coast to cof Costa Coffee's chief taster. Oh,

718
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 2: Janato Pelitia.

719
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good job. That would be a great job.

720
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 1: You're the coffee taster. Wow, what a career.

721
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:01,240
Speaker 2: But you really have to know you have to really yeah.

722
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you gotta have an insured tongue, that's for sure.

723
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 2: You got to know your tastes.

724
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: I don't even know what I would ensure. I have

725
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: no idea what I would right now, Like you know,

726
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 1: we live in wildfire country out here. The world LA

727
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 1: burns pretty much three hundred days at and uh, but

728
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 1: like right now, if the hillside was on fire, I

729
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,280
Speaker 1: have I would like grab my passport and my laptop

730
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 1: and be like see yuh, like I don't have anything here.

731
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 1: Maybe that's just because I'm living a strange hermatic life.

732
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. But uh, I don't even know what,

733
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 1: like I'm on my person. No idea what I would,

734
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 1: no idea what I would ensure.

735
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 2: I mean your yeah, your fingers maybe, but I mean

736
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,400
Speaker 2: you can do voice to text if you need to,

737
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 2: you can have for you.

738
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, James Joyce did Why not me? When I'm writing

739
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 1: my Wiener jokes and Stabby stories, Apparently.

740
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,800
Speaker 2: He would write like at the end when he was

741
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 2: writing Finnegan's Wake, he would write it like he was

742
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 2: almost like line in bed, but he would have the

743
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:05,319
Speaker 2: person like right like in a giant word across within

744
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 2: all of the meanings like of each word that would

745
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 2: like tap down. Yeah, it was like this weird, crazy thing.

746
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,080
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's true or not. I find

747
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 2: it impossible to read.

748
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,279
Speaker 1: There was a heart in shorter legs right, and then

749
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 1: from entertainment tonight, I was like, that was the first

750
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 1: one I ever heard, And then I heard something. Zz

751
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 1: Top was offered a million dollars to shave their beards

752
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 1: by Gillette in the eighties and they refused and then

753
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,760
Speaker 1: didn't j Loo ensure her butt. Wasn't that one?

754
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 2: I think maybe that's not here, not here, it's it's

755
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,840
Speaker 2: not According to RT dot com, Scottie.

756
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:42,279
Speaker 1: And Gosh and those guys dig deep for their information.

757
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,320
Speaker 1: No stone goods turned.

758
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 2: This is okay, So here's here's another one good one.

759
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 2: So US this is satellites and tacos. So US insurers

760
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:55,800
Speaker 2: offer coverage for falling objects category that includes meteors and spacecraft.

761
00:40:56,120 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 2: That's space agencies two can take out third party liability

762
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 2: insurance to cover themselves in case their spacecraft. Cause that

763
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 2: makes sense, and in March of two thousand and one,

764
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 2: the Russian government took out two hundred million dollars in insurance.

765
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 2: A few weeks before the Mere space station came crashing

766
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 2: to Earth. Oh shit, yeah, so they were like cool, Oh,

767
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 2: it could very much happen. And then this is very

768
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 2: very smart on the part of Taco Bell. And this

769
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,479
Speaker 2: is when Taco Bell was kind of trying to really

770
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 2: get in like being like the punk rock of.

771
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,359
Speaker 1: Fact like Taco Bell. People are always like, Taco Bell

772
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 1: screws your stomach up. I'm like, I don't know me. Yeah,

773
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 1: it's good.

774
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 2: I do enjoy I like it. Yes, Taco Bell is

775
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 2: so so smart and so good. Taco Bell promised free

776
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:44,640
Speaker 2: taco to everyone in the United States if mir hit

777
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,760
Speaker 2: a forty foot target in the South Pacific Ocean.

778
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 1: Whoa. Yes.

779
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:51,840
Speaker 2: The odds of the orber hitting the target may have

780
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:55,240
Speaker 2: been minuscule, but the company still felt pressed into taking

781
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 2: out insurance in the likely event it had to feed

782
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 2: two hundred and eighty million Americans for free. Dallas based

783
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:05,760
Speaker 2: prize Guaranter SCA Promotions provided the policy, worth an estimated

784
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 2: ten million dollars.

785
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that so much.

786
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:11,839
Speaker 2: Yes, I love it. I love it on every level.

787
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:15,240
Speaker 2: I love whoever thought up that for Taco Bell. Yes,

788
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 2: and I love that. Then you get the the dorks

789
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 2: involved and you have to like then fucking ensure it

790
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:25,800
Speaker 2: for ten million dollars. A dumb idea, the perfectly dumb

791
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 2: idea of putting a forty foot target in the Pacific Ocean.

792
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 1: There's like a key club and I for It's in

793
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: the Midwest and Vince Averel every year reaches out to

794
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 1: me and they do a thing where as a fundraiser,

795
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 1: they put a junker car on the ice and then

796
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: you bet for the hour, the day and the hour

797
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: that the ice will crack and the car will fall in.

798
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,400
Speaker 1: And I've done it four years running. They didn't do

799
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 1: it last year. Vince entertext during the Great Choar like dude,

800
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:51,879
Speaker 1: and he's like, it's not happening. I got my brother

801
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,439
Speaker 1: in law Alex in on it. It's so fun. It's

802
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 1: just a junker car that as a fundraiser. I think

803
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 1: it's like five dollars. Maybe it's twenty dollars even remember,

804
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: but basically you go, I think the ice is gonna

805
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:06,200
Speaker 1: melt on March thirteenth, that's between three pm and four pm,

806
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 1: and then you win, like I don't know, five grand

807
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 1: or whatever. It's the best fundunt. I love that kind

808
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:13,320
Speaker 1: of stuff. I love having much.

809
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 2: That's so great. And then they just pull the car

810
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 2: back out and use it again the next year.

811
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, that the light by that reminded me for some

812
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 1: reason of something I truly have not thought about in

813
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: thirty years. When I was a kid, I my best

814
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 1: friend was named Kyle, and we were in his backyard

815
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 1: playing like lacrosse or whiffle bar or something. And you

816
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,879
Speaker 1: know how in the summer on the East Coast there's

817
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 1: like heat lightning or like a heat thunderstorm or a

818
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 1: quick thunderstorm for like forty minutes at like four pm.

819
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:45,919
Speaker 2: Miss him, I miss him.

820
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, But sometimes there's just heat lightning, which is it's

821
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: super muggy, and it's that weird smell, that ozone smell

822
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 1: in the air. And so we're playing in the backyard

823
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 1: and his mom, Marcy, is weed whacking in the front

824
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:02,440
Speaker 1: yard and she the a bolt of lightning hit the

825
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 1: weed whacker, oh my god, that she was using, and

826
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 1: she threw it over the house. So when it hit her,

827
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 1: it jolted her body so hard that she threw it.

828
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 1: And so we're in the backyard and we just see

829
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 1: a weed whacker sailing through the air and it just

830
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 1: lands in the backyard and then she was conscious. But

831
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: she made it. I don't know if something grounded it

832
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 1: or whatever, but she said she was weed whacking around

833
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:31,720
Speaker 1: the mailbox and it hit the mailbox or the metal

834
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 1: weed whacker, and it just went and she just launched

835
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:38,439
Speaker 1: it into the air. So from our perspective, we hear

836
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 1: a crack and then a crazy sound and then just

837
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:44,439
Speaker 1: see a slightly bent weed whacker and oh her hair

838
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 1: was smoking that it was crazy, but I didn't even

839
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:50,840
Speaker 1: know what happened. Like Kyle ran around the house and

840
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:52,400
Speaker 1: she came back around and he's like, my mom just

841
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 1: got hit by lightning. They're calling nine one one.

842
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 2: Holy shit, that's so crazy.

843
00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 1: That's the insurance. I want weed whacking lightning insurance. I

844
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 1: want to pay one dollar a month. Eh.

845
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 2: Oh, that's amazing.

846
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 1: I had completely forgotten that story. Wow, what a day.

847
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 2: I'll give you this last one.

848
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:12,240
Speaker 1: Are you ready?

849
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 2: Then we got to get onto another story. Alien abduction liability. Okay,

850
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 2: so this is ensures. Saint Lawrence Agency in Altamont Springs, Florida,

851
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 2: of course, began selling alien abduction insurance in nineteen eighty seven,

852
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 2: and at one point hit a mast as many as

853
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 2: how many? How many global policy holders do you think

854
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 2: they had? Scottie Global?

855
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 1: How much was it? I'm sorry? What was the policy?

856
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:43,239
Speaker 2: It doesn't say how much you have. It was just

857
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 2: it was a ten million In case, it was a

858
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 2: ten million dollar policy.

859
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 1: I would guess that three thousand people would do this.

860
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 2: Five thousand policy holders. Wow, Wow, five thousand people convinced

861
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 2: enough that they were going to be abducted by aliens

862
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 2: that took paid money every month. Yeah, so that it

863
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:04,840
Speaker 2: wouldn't happen.

864
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 1: How about them aliens? Let's see them aliens.

865
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 2: Each ten million dollar policy came with a claim form,

866
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,439
Speaker 2: on which the holder was asked to provide information about

867
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:17,600
Speaker 2: the aliens, it's spacecraft, a description of the abduction, as

868
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:20,319
Speaker 2: well as some personal information. In order to claim the

869
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 2: full value of the policy, they must also have provided

870
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:29,440
Speaker 2: the signature of an authorized alien, of course, and the

871
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 2: company says it has paid two claimants. The victims receive

872
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 2: one dollar per year for ten million years or until.

873
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 1: Oh I like that. That's cool, even if this is

874
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:42,800
Speaker 1: all fake. I love this one very much.

875
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 2: I know that made me think that it's fake, but

876
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 2: like that, Oh man, is this fake? If I get

877
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 2: tricked again. If I get duped again, I don't know

878
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 2: what I'm gonna do, Scottie, I don't know what.

879
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: I enjoyed it. But these all spurned, they spurred news stories,

880
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:00,920
Speaker 1: and that's what it's all about. I was. I love that. Also,

881
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 1: I have a new theory I want to try to

882
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 1: sell you on so you can get on board. So

883
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 1: all the UFOs and stuff going around or whatever they're

884
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: called aerial objects uaos. I was listening to a little

885
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 1: last podcast on Left. I love Henry Zebrowski so so much,

886
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 1: and so my theory is all those things are aliens,

887
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 1: but that aliens are stupid, that they're dumb. So aliens

888
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 1: are like red decks, Like you can have a redneck

889
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:34,840
Speaker 1: and they'll invent anything. They'll build a rocket in their backyard.

890
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,319
Speaker 1: They'll build a boat out of like a sofa and

891
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,319
Speaker 1: then put a motor on it and go down the river.

892
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 1: I think the aliens are I think we way over

893
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 1: estimate aliens. And why would they be smarter than us,

894
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:48,680
Speaker 1: Like there aren't that many smart people. Why do we

895
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:51,919
Speaker 1: think they're more intelligent. I think that they create these

896
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 1: things that go super fast, and they don't know how

897
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 1: to get off them, and they don't know how to

898
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 1: stop them, and that they're not abducting us, they're just

899
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 1: showing up and whizzing around. I call a dumb alien theory.

900
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 1: Dat dat theory. I'm gonna push this until we see

901
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 1: them aliens. But dat theory to me is that they're

902
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 1: stupid and we're overestorating their intelligence.

903
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:13,799
Speaker 2: I love that because I could go even further with it,

904
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:17,279
Speaker 2: and that I like the idea that all of their

905
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 2: technology just comes from generations before them. They have completely

906
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:24,920
Speaker 2: forgotten how to use this. They don't know how to

907
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:27,800
Speaker 2: make it. They just have all of this stuff lying around.

908
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 1: I guess like we're gonna good skip.

909
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 2: The skip on Earth's atmosphere. See how many times we

910
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:35,720
Speaker 2: could skip?

911
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 1: Yes, it's like when you're in an old home or

912
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 1: a hotel or building and there's like beautiful like stonemasonry

913
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 1: and woodworking, and now it's just like vinyl siding, get

914
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,279
Speaker 1: it up as fast as your kid, The ceilings leak,

915
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 1: the toilet wiggles. It's like, yes, they're ancestors, were geniuses exactly,

916
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 1: and now they're stupid just like us. And dumb alien theory.

917
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:02,800
Speaker 1: I'm I'm going I'm never believing anything but dumbillian theory

918
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:04,799
Speaker 1: unless I get abducted. I love it.

919
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 2: My my theory always is is that they are They're

920
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:16,360
Speaker 2: just humans time traveling backwards into the Earth and trying

921
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 2: not to be seen. That's what, because they don't want

922
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:22,399
Speaker 2: to fuck shit up too much. But good good seg

923
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 2: for me, Yes, one of the great segways. Because our buddy,

924
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 2: our best friend in the whole world, Jeff Bezos is

925
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 2: going into outer space, right, and he's taking his brother

926
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 2: on that phallic shaped rocket ship and and one idiot

927
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:39,840
Speaker 2: that paid twenty eight million dollars.

928
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:43,839
Speaker 1: So have fun up there, guys, Smell you later. So

929
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:48,759
Speaker 1: here's another one. Thousands have signed an online petition for

930
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos to buy and eat the mona Lisa oh

931
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 1: Man oh Man. This was It's sent in by a

932
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:03,800
Speaker 1: lot of bananimals. It was sent in in various forms

933
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 1: because it's been good. The petition keeps growing and it

934
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,759
Speaker 1: keeps changing, so this was the most up to date one.

935
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 1: It was written by Jody Serrano at Gizmoto.

936
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:14,000
Speaker 2: Okay, Jody Serrano, you.

937
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:18,319
Speaker 1: She is the best or he's the best, but they're

938
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,319
Speaker 1: the best, right, they're the best. I'm setting in by

939
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 1: Tay Dave thirty one. Thank you so much, Toydave thirty one. Okay,

940
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 1: for some bizarre reason, thousands of people want Amazon CEO

941
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos to buy and eat the Mona Lisa. To clarify,

942
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 1: the Mona Lisa in question is not food. It is

943
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 1: the same Mona Lisa you're thinking of, the painting by

944
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 1: Leonardo da Vinci that lives in the Louver in Paris.

945
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 1: Earlier this week, an online petition for Bezos to buy

946
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:53,240
Speaker 1: and eat the famous painting suddenly started picking up traction.

947
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 1: The funny thing is it isn't even new. It started

948
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 1: a year ago by a Maryland musician named Caine Powell.

949
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 1: Pale told Wevice that he and his friends were at

950
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:06,840
Speaker 1: an Applebee's talking about Bezos, and given Amazon was in

951
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,840
Speaker 1: the news of the time, he said he should quote

952
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 1: just because he has the money to do it, It

953
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:15,160
Speaker 1: should make a statement, he said. However, Powell and his

954
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:19,400
Speaker 1: friends weren't done. Powell said that not only should Bezos

955
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,960
Speaker 1: buy the painting, but he should eat it too, and

956
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,840
Speaker 1: when asked why he recommended Bezos eat the painting, he

957
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 1: gave the simple answer, I honestly don't know. But just

958
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 1: the best kind of bullshit is so it creates this petition.

959
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 1: It's up to as of today. I just checked it

960
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 1: before the pod. Thirteen and forty one people have signed it,

961
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:43,040
Speaker 1: but animals go sign its change that org. Nobody has

962
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:46,840
Speaker 1: eaten the Mona Lisa, it says, and we feel.

963
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 2: It's literally just it's mad libs. Do you know what

964
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:55,239
Speaker 2: I mean? It's just swapping in words.

965
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:58,919
Speaker 1: We need and we feel Jeff Bezos needs to take

966
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 1: a stand and make this happen. Oh, it's so funny,

967
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 1: as crazy as it seems, that are now people talking

968
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:09,719
Speaker 1: about could it actually happen? Meaning could Bezos buy them

969
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:13,919
Speaker 1: and eat them Ona Lisa? And he could because being

970
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: the richest man in the world, the money appears to

971
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,359
Speaker 1: be the easiest part. It's not that they can put

972
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,920
Speaker 1: a price on the painting, even though many have tried.

973
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:27,319
Speaker 1: Last year of French tech CEO Stefan Distinguian suggested it

974
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:31,600
Speaker 1: could be sold for sixty billion. Wow, the Mona Lisa

975
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 1: for sixty I mean, that's just absurd.

976
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 2: It' it's just absurd, it's insane.

977
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 1: But he said, because Bezos' personal worth right now is

978
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:47,399
Speaker 1: over two hundred billion, that he could afford to buy it,

979
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:49,360
Speaker 1: and then it goes into some details about how the

980
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 1: paint will probably kill him because of the paint used.

981
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:59,240
Speaker 1: But anybody go to the petition sign up in animals.

982
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:00,879
Speaker 1: If you have five minutes soon you're board at work,

983
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 1: Let's try to get Jeff Bezos to buy and eat

984
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 1: the Mona Lisa. I support this wholeheartedly.

985
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 2: I love I love the Internet prank petitions that involve eating.

986
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,400
Speaker 2: There is like a weird sum genre because I mean,

987
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 2: like one of the most famous ones that started it

988
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 2: was what smash smash Mouth eat all the eggs.

989
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 1: It was smash mouth eat the egg I think, but.

990
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 2: No, it was smash Mouth eat all the eggs.

991
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 1: By part right at part I think.

992
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 2: So yeah, and so they want it was just like

993
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:34,680
Speaker 2: I think it was like a red almost like gibberish,

994
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:36,520
Speaker 2: where it's like, we need smash mouth to eat all

995
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:39,360
Speaker 2: the eggs. And then it got so many millions of

996
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:43,359
Speaker 2: signatures on Twitter, right smash mouth actually did it? They

997
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,400
Speaker 2: ate like it was.

998
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:51,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was yeah, yeah, those bozos and then they

999
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:54,120
Speaker 1: had to eat fifty hard boiled eggs or something like that.

1000
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:56,280
Speaker 1: It was the best smash Mouth eat all the eggs

1001
00:53:56,400 --> 00:54:00,480
Speaker 1: was classic online crap. I love that one so much classic.

1002
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 2: I for one, would like to look at the Mona

1003
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 2: Lisa once before Jeff Bezos consumes it. I mean, it

1004
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:11,879
Speaker 2: would be such an indictment of of late of late

1005
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 2: stage capitalism if Jeff Bezos, I mean almost for that

1006
00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 2: reason alone. It's worth it, because that's the nero fiddles

1007
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 2: while Rome burns of our current time. That would be

1008
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 2: kind of perfect capper to this, uh to this existence here.

1009
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:29,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, what if he took the Mona Lisa to space

1010
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:31,440
Speaker 1: and ate it in space? I mean, would there ever

1011
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:35,399
Speaker 1: be a better story? I mean it would that would

1012
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,440
Speaker 1: completely alter history as we know it.

1013
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:41,320
Speaker 2: It would if he if they built like a special

1014
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 2: space suit for him, because I don't want him just

1015
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 2: in space. I want him to be doing a space walk.

1016
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 2: So then they have a special box that the Mona

1017
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 2: painting is in like a pizza box, like a pizza box,

1018
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 2: but it has to dock with the spacesuit at the

1019
00:54:57,719 --> 00:54:59,600
Speaker 2: mouth opening, do you know what I mean? And then

1020
00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:02,840
Speaker 2: he would slowly roll it into his mouth chewing.

1021
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:08,120
Speaker 1: I love that for him, Yeah, that's for him. I

1022
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:10,200
Speaker 1: love that for the richest man in the history of

1023
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 1: the world. I love that he would spacewalk open a

1024
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:15,400
Speaker 1: pizza box and then consume the most expensive pizza of

1025
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:17,920
Speaker 1: art in the world, and it means nothing and all

1026
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:19,840
Speaker 1: of us would have to go. He can do it,

1027
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:22,319
Speaker 1: and he could do it again. What's next? There?

1028
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:25,880
Speaker 2: It is next? Uh? And I remember do you remember

1029
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 2: this guy? So we were we uh, we've been trying

1030
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 2: to do bananas.

1031
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:32,239
Speaker 1: You know.

1032
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:34,840
Speaker 2: We came up with the idea for bananas way before

1033
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:39,000
Speaker 2: we actually started recording what you're listening to correct And

1034
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:41,400
Speaker 2: so for like a year while we were kind of

1035
00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 2: like negotiating and stuff, we started recording episodes, but we

1036
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:49,320
Speaker 2: would record them. Our choice was to record the unique places.

1037
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 1: Yes.

1038
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 2: So one of our first ones that we recorded was

1039
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 2: it Shakey's Pizza, Yes, and like ding ding ding ding

1040
00:55:57,040 --> 00:55:58,799
Speaker 2: ding bang bang bang bing bing bing, like in the

1041
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:02,840
Speaker 2: background children's screen. And one of the stories I did,

1042
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 2: which was Bezos. I don't know if people know this.

1043
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 1: I forgot this.

1044
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 2: Bezos is creating a fifteen thousand year clock clock inside

1045
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:16,920
Speaker 2: of the mountain. So Yes, bought a mountain and that

1046
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 2: they're hollowing out the inside of the mountain so he

1047
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:23,440
Speaker 2: can make a pendulum clock like a grandfather clock. And

1048
00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:28,399
Speaker 2: his hope is that when after humanity doesn't exist because

1049
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,880
Speaker 2: he's eating paintings more of Mona Lise in space. Yes,

1050
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 2: when aliens come, they'll find a clock that's still running

1051
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,600
Speaker 2: and know that, like there was some people who had

1052
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,360
Speaker 2: enough money to build a fifteen thousand year clock inside

1053
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 2: of me.

1054
00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 1: Oh what a legacy. I mean, I think we could

1055
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:48,240
Speaker 1: beat that legacy. I think he needs just a gift

1056
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:51,400
Speaker 1: of him just chewing the Mona Lisa's head over and

1057
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:53,799
Speaker 1: over while you look at that clock, so future dumb

1058
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 1: aliens can be like, boy, they were even dumber than

1059
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 1: we were.

1060
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 2: On we have a couple minutes left Scottish, I give

1061
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:04,480
Speaker 2: you one to tease you on our list.

1062
00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:06,840
Speaker 1: To tease her out and Banannimals keep sending us stories

1063
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 1: for the minisodes. We're doing two minisodes a month. Thank

1064
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:12,560
Speaker 1: you for all the emails and dms and everything. The

1065
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 1: Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com, The Bananas Podcast on

1066
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:18,320
Speaker 1: Insta Graham go ahead, Curtie B.

1067
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, Lithuanian man designed euthanasia coaster to humanely take the

1068
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:25,960
Speaker 2: life of a human being.

1069
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: Yep, sign me up, I'll do it.

1070
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,919
Speaker 2: I know right. This was sent in by Lindsay Hyler. Hi,

1071
00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:36,520
Speaker 2: l e R. It is on Penn Live. Pen Live

1072
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:38,800
Speaker 2: comes through with a lot of weird stories.

1073
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 1: I went to high school with Lindsay, and I like

1074
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 1: Lindsay back then. I like Lindsay even Moore Right now,

1075
00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 1: are you kidding me?

1076
00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:49,240
Speaker 2: That's amazing? Look at that? Well Hello Lindsey.

1077
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:50,040
Speaker 1: Yep.

1078
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 2: This was posted June seventh, twenty twenty one, written by

1079
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:59,919
Speaker 2: Claudia Demiro, some also know her as.

1080
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:00,480
Speaker 1: The Best in the Big Is.

1081
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 2: A Lithuanian man came up with an idea for euthanasia coaster,

1082
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:06,600
Speaker 2: The Purple Witch, was to take the lives of its riders.

1083
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 2: Designer Julie Jonas Urbanos, E Beautiful Nurse, Thank you so Much,

1084
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 2: even drew up the plans for the fatal theme park

1085
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:19,920
Speaker 2: traction in twenty ten, calling it a hypothetic death machine

1086
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:22,720
Speaker 2: in the form of a roller coaster, engineered to humanely

1087
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 2: with elegance and euphoria the life of a human being.

1088
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:31,560
Speaker 1: Oh God, so im pro euthanasia?

1089
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 2: I am pro? I am after I went through it

1090
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 2: with my mom. You know my mom at the end

1091
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 2: of her life, she was in hospice, she had liver cancer.

1092
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:44,920
Speaker 2: She wanted it done, and I was not allowed to

1093
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:49,440
Speaker 2: give her what she wanted and it broke my heart.

1094
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 2: So if I could, if she could get on a

1095
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:53,320
Speaker 2: roller coaster, my yes.

1096
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:58,400
Speaker 1: Funny sunglasses, early bird hat, a cotton canny, and a

1097
00:58:58,440 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 1: funnel cake. Just go for it. The last ride.

1098
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 2: So here it is. It is capable of holding up

1099
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:07,120
Speaker 2: to twenty four passengers. Once they're all on board, there's

1100
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 2: a slow ascent to the top, which is five hundred

1101
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 2: and ten feet in the air, which is a little

1102
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:15,400
Speaker 2: bit smaller than the tallest building in America. Once it's

1103
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:18,240
Speaker 2: at the top, it gives everyone the decision to stop

1104
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 2: and go back down safely. After that, everyone has to

1105
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 2: manually press a button to start the ride. Okay, so

1106
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 2: no one's dying by accident here. From there on the Classy,

1107
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:33,840
Speaker 2: those left riding the Euthanasia coaster experience a drop at

1108
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:35,960
Speaker 2: a speed of roughly two hundred and twenty three miles

1109
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 2: per hour, going through several loops that get smaller and

1110
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:40,600
Speaker 2: smaller in size.

1111
00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 1: Oh I see.

1112
00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 2: In the end, the speed and design of the roller

1113
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:48,040
Speaker 2: coaster would cause riders to lose consciousness and then eventually

1114
00:59:48,080 --> 00:59:51,440
Speaker 2: pass away from lack of oxygen going to their brains.

1115
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 2: There's a biomonitoring suit that the passenger wears. Jebble checks

1116
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:59,800
Speaker 2: there's no reed for need for a second round, and yeah,

1117
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 2: it does seem like the best way to do it.

1118
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:06,600
Speaker 1: Uh, I'm not ever gonna say it. Oh, I'm gonna

1119
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:09,440
Speaker 1: say it. I'll say it. Is there a camera in

1120
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:11,960
Speaker 1: the first drop? Do they can the family buy the

1121
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:14,280
Speaker 1: photo on the first on the drop?

1122
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:17,280
Speaker 2: Well, I would want that. I just want that as

1123
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:21,439
Speaker 2: a family members, as a son of a woman who

1124
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:24,120
Speaker 2: died in you know, in our inner bed at home,

1125
01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 2: I would want a picture of my mom.

1126
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 1: Both on making a face looking forward, pretending to be asleep,

1127
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 1: like all the funny things you can do. Yeah, and

1128
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:34,920
Speaker 1: then the family stands below, and then you look and

1129
01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:37,440
Speaker 1: you're like, we're b thirteen. We would like that one please.

1130
01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:39,960
Speaker 1: They're like, would you like wallet size? Would you like

1131
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 1: eight y ten?

1132
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 2: I want it? I would want it. I would want it.

1133
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 1: I want it for me. I know that I want

1134
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:47,600
Speaker 1: it for me too. I would be Oh, it would

1135
01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:51,080
Speaker 1: be amazing. I would just have yes. I hope when

1136
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:53,680
Speaker 1: I'm ready to go, I would love to hop on board.

1137
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:55,640
Speaker 1: I'll push that button as soon as I get up there.

1138
01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:58,160
Speaker 1: And then I'm gonna have some bits going. I'm gonna

1139
01:00:58,160 --> 01:00:59,440
Speaker 1: have some bits, Scottie.

1140
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:00,760
Speaker 2: I mean like that. That's what you need to do.

1141
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:03,920
Speaker 2: You need to buy enough land and then build us yourself. Fine,

1142
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:06,800
Speaker 2: get enough money, sell a couple more movies, have enough

1143
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:10,040
Speaker 2: money to try and make this and then this how

1144
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 2: will all go?

1145
01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:14,360
Speaker 1: Beautiful? Well, Kurtie, we did it again. Great one to

1146
01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:14,800
Speaker 1: go out on.

1147
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 2: Wonderful, what a treat.

1148
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 1: Thank you, Katie Levine, Thank you to our wonderful intern

1149
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:25,040
Speaker 1: Lisa Maggott, and thank you to everybody who's been checking

1150
01:01:25,080 --> 01:01:26,720
Speaker 1: out our merch and listening to the podcast. We love

1151
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 1: you very much.

1152
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:29,360
Speaker 2: Bana.

1153
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:41,000
Speaker 1: Now, this has been an exactly right production.

1154
01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:43,120
Speaker 2: Produced and engineered by Katie Levine.

1155
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 1: Theme music by Kahan.

1156
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:46,840
Speaker 2: And all of our artwork is done by Travis Millard.

1157
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 1: You can follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast,

1158
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:51,960
Speaker 1: where we post stories every day and things that we

1159
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:53,440
Speaker 1: don't cover on the podcast.

1160
01:01:53,840 --> 01:01:57,080
Speaker 2: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast,

1161
01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:59,080
Speaker 2: Stitcher or wherever you get your podcast.

1162
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:02,040
Speaker 1: And if you're in interested in advertising on Bananas, please

1163
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:05,200
Speaker 1: email us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.

1164
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:22,680
Speaker 1: That's the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com,