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Speaker 1: This is John.

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Speaker 2: This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 1: We have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 2: got a quick cheuming an ad break from a sponsors,

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Speaker 2: keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 3: I invited my ex fiance's father to my wedding, even

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Speaker 3: though she cheated home. I was with my ex fiance

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Speaker 3: for five years. When we were just months into our relationship,

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Speaker 3: I lost.

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Speaker 1: My dad in a car accident.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user opening Pitch seventy

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Speaker 3: thirty ninety three, and if you want to submit your

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Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime Separated.

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Speaker 1: I'm Dakota and I'm Riley. Happy Birthday, Yeah, happy birthday.

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Speaker 1: The other one women yay different Riley.

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Speaker 4: Come back in January and I'm Keon.

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Speaker 1: And we are to give good advice.

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Speaker 3: Gooofully, But you know we're not geniuses who know everything.

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Speaker 1: We don't. We don't have all the answers, guys. Come on.

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Speaker 3: He was the only parent I had left since Mom

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Speaker 3: passed away when I was twelve. From my dad was

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Speaker 3: always a good guy and a great father, but ever

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Speaker 3: since Mom passed away, he stepped up big time for

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Speaker 3: me and became the best dad he could be, even

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Speaker 3: while struggling with mom's passing. He never dated after her

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Speaker 3: because he always said she was the love of his

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Speaker 3: life and that he would rather pass away alone than

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Speaker 3: be with someone else. He also heard too many horror

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Speaker 3: stories about stepmoms and didn't want anyone interfering in my

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Speaker 3: relationship with him, So losing him when I was twenty

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Speaker 3: two and had just graduated college was tough on me,

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Speaker 3: but my then girlfriend, Emily's family took me in as

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Speaker 3: one of their own. Her younger brothers treated me like

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Speaker 3: a brother, and her parents treated me like a son,

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Speaker 3: especially her dad George. One night after dad's funeral, I

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Speaker 3: was over at Emily's house. I sat at midnight with

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Speaker 3: her dad alone on their porch, and I just cried.

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Speaker 3: I talked about my dad, and George just listened to me,

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Speaker 3: comforted me, hugged me, and let me cry on his shoulder.

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Speaker 3: He told me it was going to be all right,

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Speaker 3: and that they were all there for me. Ever since

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Speaker 3: that night, he treated me like a son. He even

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Speaker 3: took me out to do things just the two of us,

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Speaker 3: and he always called me son. He was still a

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Speaker 3: great dad to his kids, but I felt he went

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Speaker 3: the extra mile to make me feel included in love,

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Speaker 3: which I deeply appreciated. I even started calling him Dad

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Speaker 3: sometimes out of respect and love, which I knew made

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Speaker 3: him proud by the look on his face whenever I

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Speaker 3: said it. I still loved my Dad and always will,

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Speaker 3: but I loved George nearly as much. When I finally

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Speaker 3: decided to propose to Emily, I asked George for his permission.

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Speaker 3: He accepted, shook my hand, hugged me, and told me

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Speaker 3: to always take care of his little girl. He said

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Speaker 3: he was happy for us and gave me his blessing,

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Speaker 3: which Emily accepted. He offered to pay for our wedding

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Speaker 3: as a gift, which I was grateful for and we accepted.

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Speaker 3: But just months before the wedding, I found out Emily

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Speaker 3: was cheating on me for well over a year. She

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Speaker 3: was planning to marry me and then divorce a few

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Speaker 3: months later to.

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Speaker 1: Screw me out of the house.

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Speaker 3: My dad left me so that she and her a

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Speaker 3: fair partner, could move in together.

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Speaker 5: We rely having to cling on to what I just said.

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Speaker 6: I was like, it'll be okay.

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Speaker 5: We have these funny goofs and then immediately got slammed.

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Speaker 1: I called off the wedding.

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Speaker 3: Thankfully, nothing was in her name yet and she never

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Speaker 3: lived with me, so she had no rights to my

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Speaker 3: house or assets. I had hundreds of messages between her

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Speaker 3: and her partner discussing how they were going to screw

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Speaker 3: me over, and I showed her family. They were upset

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Speaker 3: and angry with her, especially her dad. He personally came

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Speaker 3: over and apologized for what she did. I told him

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Speaker 3: it wasn't his fault and it didn't change how I

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Speaker 3: saw him. We tried to remain close, but my ex

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Speaker 3: demanded that they all cut contact with me or she

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Speaker 3: would cut them off. Her dad called me one last time, sadly,

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Speaker 3: saying he had to cut contact because.

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Speaker 1: She was still his little girl.

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Speaker 3: I thanked him for everything, told him I still loved

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Speaker 3: him and his family and asked him to tell them

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Speaker 3: all goodbye. He wished me a happy life, and that

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Speaker 3: was the last I officially heard from them, but that's.

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Speaker 1: What his family thinks.

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Speaker 3: In reality, George and I secretly stayed in contact, not

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Speaker 3: as much as before, but we checked in every once

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Speaker 3: in a while. He genuinely loved me and I loved

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Speaker 3: him back, and at that point it had nothing to

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Speaker 3: do with his daughter.

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Speaker 1: He was like an uncle to me.

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Speaker 3: It's been three years since we broke up. I've moved on,

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Speaker 3: and months later I started dating one of my closest

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Speaker 3: childhood friends, little sister, who is a widow and a

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Speaker 3: single mom of two beautiful little girls. Her brother pushed

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Speaker 3: us into it, saying we'd be perfect together. Her late

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Speaker 3: husband had passed away five years ago in a car

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Speaker 3: crash while she was.

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Speaker 1: Still pregnant with their second daughter.

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Speaker 3: That connected us even more since I lost my own

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Speaker 3: dad in the same way. The youngest wasn't even born

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Speaker 3: when it happened and is still too young to understand.

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Speaker 3: But the older daughter is nine years old and she

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Speaker 3: remembers her dad, and she often talks to me about

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Speaker 3: how much she misses and loves him. She asks whether

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Speaker 3: he's in heaven, and I always tell her, of course,

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Speaker 3: he is looking down on her and proud of her

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Speaker 3: and her sister, and that always makes her so happy.

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Speaker 3: Two months ago, with her father's approval, which is a

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Speaker 3: cultural thing here, I proposed to her. She said yes,

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Speaker 3: and we kissed and cried. The girls were with us,

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Speaker 3: flapping happily and excited for us. We've been planning our wedding,

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Speaker 3: which is next month, and finalizing our guest list. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: I want to invite Joy because he stayed in contact

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Speaker 3: and was supportive of me when I got with my.

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Speaker 1: Fiance, But I know it will cause drama. Still, he's one.

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Speaker 3: Of the few people left that feel like family to me,

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Speaker 3: and I want him there. My fiance is completely aware

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Speaker 3: and supportive of our relationship and says it's up to me.

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Speaker 3: Would I be an a hole if I quietly invited

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Speaker 3: just him or would it be too far and awkward?

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Speaker 1: And there are comments, but I would confidently.

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Speaker 3: Say no, You wouldn't be the a hole for inviting

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Speaker 3: your dad, essentially your surrogate father.

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Speaker 1: Yeah to your wedding.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm in the same boat.

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Speaker 3: Do it because what his cheating daughter will be upset

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Speaker 3: about it?

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Speaker 1: Two dogs life.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely think you should invite him, but I would tell

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Speaker 3: him first and ask him where he wants you to

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Speaker 3: send the invitation, maybe to avoid drama. He wants it

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Speaker 3: sent to work or somewhere else. You don't mention his wife,

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Speaker 3: but it's standard good manners that you invite spouses, so

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Speaker 3: she would be included in the invitation. It's up to

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Speaker 3: them to decide if they accept and if they both

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Speaker 3: attend or only one does. I wish you only the

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Speaker 3: best congratulations on your upcoming marriage, OHP, He says, thanks.

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Speaker 1: Bad's probably what I'm gonna end up doing.

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Speaker 3: His wife was so nice and sweet to me, and

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Speaker 3: he always says she asks.

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Speaker 1: About me sometime.

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Speaker 3: Tall Charge forty one to fifty says, Ask George, tell

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Speaker 3: him you want him there, but you understand he has

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Speaker 3: to put his family first. Ask him to come, and

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Speaker 3: ask him if it is appropriate for an official invitation.

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Speaker 1: He sounds like a wonderful man.

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Speaker 3: Oh P replies, I already talked to him and he

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Speaker 3: said he'd be honored to come, but would also understand

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Speaker 3: if I don't invite him. Cultural Surprise twenty nine to

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Speaker 3: nine says, I don't understand the point of your post.

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Speaker 1: You already talked to him.

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Speaker 3: He said he'd be honored to be there, asked and answered.

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Speaker 3: Oh P says, On one hand, I want him there

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Speaker 3: because he's the closest thing I have to real family.

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Speaker 3: I don't have uncle's, aunt's, grandparents or parents. And on

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Speaker 3: the other hand, this might start drama. Little Taipan ninety

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Speaker 3: seven sixty two says, looks like he already answered that

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Speaker 3: concern in your comment above when he said he'd be

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Speaker 3: honored to come. I think he understands the risks, sees

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Speaker 3: you as a son I would love to attend, but

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Speaker 3: doesn't want a pressure you, probably because your fiance may

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Speaker 3: be uncomfortable with your ex's family coming to your wedding.

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Speaker 3: Since she understands and supports you, invite him, Tell him

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Speaker 3: you understand if he can't make it for family reasons,

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Speaker 3: and leave it at that. Good luck, and I'm glad

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Speaker 3: you two have kept a relationship going, even if it's

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Speaker 3: not as frequent. You obviously mean a lot to each other.

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Speaker 1: He's a great guy.

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Speaker 3: Pretty Much all of you suggested I invite him and

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Speaker 3: just see what happens, and honestly, that's what I was

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Speaker 3: planning to do. You all just gave me the courage

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Speaker 3: to do it, and I did it. Early this morning.

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Speaker 3: I texted him good morning, and when he responded, I

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Speaker 3: asked whether we could talk.

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Speaker 1: On the phone. He said of course, so I called him.

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Speaker 3: After some small talk, I told him that he was

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Speaker 3: under no pressure and that it was completely up to him,

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Speaker 3: but I'd love for him to be there at my wedding,

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Speaker 3: not just as some guest, but as a close family member.

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Speaker 3: I told him that the invitation was open to him

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Speaker 3: and his entire family, including his wife and the boys,

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Speaker 3: and even my ex if she wanted to come. He

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Speaker 3: got emotional, wished me up happy wedding, and said he

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Speaker 3: was honored that I still respected him that much. He

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Speaker 3: promised me that at least he would definitely be there

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Speaker 3: for me, but he wasn't sure about his family and

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Speaker 3: said he'd get back to me about it. A few

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Speaker 3: hours later, he called me back excited, saying he talked

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Speaker 3: with his wife and family and that they're all coming.

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Speaker 3: He said that my ex had no problem with it,

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Speaker 3: and actually told him.

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Speaker 1: To wish me good luck.

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Speaker 6: Okay, so she's not coming.

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Speaker 3: He then invited me over to their place for dinner

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Speaker 3: later tonight because she wanted to apologize for how things

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Speaker 3: went between us. He told me to bring my fiance

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Speaker 3: and the little girls because he and his wife wanted

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Speaker 3: to meet them.

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Speaker 1: Especially the girls since she loves children.

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Speaker 3: I was so happy to hear that and told him

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Speaker 3: i'd ask my fiance if she was comfortable with it,

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Speaker 3: and he said, of course. I talked with my fiance

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Speaker 3: about everything, and she's been so happy for me because

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Speaker 3: she knows how much George means to me.

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Speaker 1: She agreed to go with me and the girls tonight.

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Speaker 3: I went and got one of those chocolate gift baskets

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Speaker 3: with a nice whiskey bottle inside, along with an official invitation.

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Speaker 3: Thank you to you all, And there are some comments.

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Speaker 3: Federal Internal twenty nine at thirty five says, I think

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Speaker 3: you handled this with so much grace. Inviting him not

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Speaker 3: just as a guest, but his family was such a

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Speaker 3: powerful gesture. Glad your fiance is so supportive too, That

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Speaker 3: makes all the difference.

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Speaker 1: OPI says, she's the best anyone could ask for.

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Speaker 3: I still don't know how I managed to get someone

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Speaker 3: so beautiful inside and out. Recent section seven two five says,

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Speaker 3: great new just out of curiosity. How did things turn

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Speaker 3: out for your ex? That was a really horrible thing

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Speaker 3: she tried to do to you? Is she's still with

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Speaker 3: the guy she cheated and plotted against you with.

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Speaker 7: I love the vibes of this person.

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Speaker 5: This is another reddit who I hope that they just

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Speaker 5: come into Reddit stories.

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Speaker 4: Like Hey, so glad everything worked out quick.

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Speaker 7: Question like what happened with the other person?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I remember the awful woman who like conspired

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Speaker 3: against you and cheated on you.

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Speaker 1: What's her shit?

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Speaker 5: I just love going into the drama section she had

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Speaker 5: it and being like, actually I could use.

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Speaker 7: A little bit more.

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Speaker 1: Tell me more. OPI says, Yeah, they're married now.

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Speaker 3: Actually they had their wedding the same day ours was

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Speaker 3: supposed to happen, since most of the depot that for

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Speaker 3: the venues were already paid and they were non refundable.

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Speaker 1: Anyways, they have a son and a daughter on the way.

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Speaker 3: Due six forty says did you ever get an explanation

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Speaker 3: on why she tried to con you into this marriage scam?

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Speaker 3: OPI says no, but my dad was a pretty successful guy,

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Speaker 3: and he left a life changing amount of money and

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Speaker 3: a great fully paid off for a bedroom house, so

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Speaker 3: I could see why she stayed with me and tried

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Speaker 3: to take it. Due six point forty says, thank god

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Speaker 3: you didn't put her name on anything, right, Opie says,

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Speaker 3: I probably was never going to put it in her

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Speaker 3: name anyway, even if we had gotten married. I just

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Speaker 3: felt it would be disrespectful to my dad's memory. Same

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Speaker 3: commenter says, just curious, is your new fiance's name on anything?

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Speaker 1: Opie says no, but that was her decision. She's a

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Speaker 1: pretty successful.

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Speaker 3: Doctor and I'm just a middle school teacher makes way

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Speaker 3: more money than I do. Her parents wanted us to

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Speaker 3: sign a prenup just in case, where she'd keep all

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Speaker 3: her money in assets in case of divorce and I'd

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Speaker 3: keep mine. My house is included in that, and that

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Speaker 3: is the end of that story. What a great way

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Speaker 3: to end a story with a prenuptial agreement and your

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Speaker 3: hot doctor wife gets to keep all our money and

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Speaker 3: you get the house.

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Speaker 5: I got uninvited from a wedding, but my boyfriend still

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Speaker 5: wants to go.

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Speaker 1: Babe, God of an open bar, come on.

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Speaker 5: My boyfriend thirty five mail is the best man for

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Speaker 5: his best friend's wedding in a few months. I thirty

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Speaker 5: one female, was originally invited to this wedding as his

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Speaker 5: plus one as well. The wedding is a destination wedding

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Speaker 5: at an extremely expensive resort. All flights and hotels for

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Speaker 5: both of us have been booked and paid for already.

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Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from uslash boyfriend wedding help

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Speaker 5: and if you want to submit your own stories.

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Speaker 6: Go to our slash Okay story time subreddit.

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Speaker 1: I'm Riley, I'm Dakota.

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Speaker 5: I have met the bride and groom to be a

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Speaker 5: handful of times, have always been friendly with them, and

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Speaker 5: was invited to attend their joint bachelor's slash bachelorette trip

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Speaker 5: as my boyfriend's plus one. I attended the weekend trip

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Speaker 5: and had a great time getting to know everyone that

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Speaker 5: will be at the wedding and was really looking forward

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Speaker 5: to seeing everyone.

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Speaker 6: Again at the wedding.

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Speaker 5: I never felt any sort of animosity and came out

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Speaker 5: of the weekend thinking everyone had a great partying with

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Speaker 5: each other. Turns out the bride felt some type away

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Speaker 5: about me and has uninvited me from the wedding. I

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Speaker 5: have not had any conversations with the bride or groom,

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Speaker 5: but my boyfriend received the news from the groom. From

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Speaker 5: what I heard of the conversation, it seems like the

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Speaker 5: groom doesn't agree with the fiance and was really uncomfortable

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Speaker 5: to deliver the message, but his hands were tied. My

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Speaker 5: boyfriend has received details on what happened to make the

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Speaker 5: bride feel that way towards me, and we both agree

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Speaker 5: that it's a ridiculous overreaction.

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Speaker 6: And a huge misunderstanding.

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Speaker 5: Long story short, the bride felt as if I didn't

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Speaker 5: make an effort to make her feel special and was

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Speaker 5: trying to take her spotlight. My boyfriend contacted the other

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Speaker 5: friends who were there that weekend as well, and everyone

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Speaker 5: is in agreement that this is an overreaction and misunderstanding.

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Speaker 6: The thing that bothers me.

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Speaker 5: The most is that everything that was listed out that

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Speaker 5: I was doing to make her feel that way, everybody

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Speaker 5: else was doing it as well. Yet it seems like

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Speaker 5: there was a magnifying glass on me and she has

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Speaker 5: a vendetta against me for some reason. My boyfriend thinks

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Speaker 5: it was a series of unfortunate events that started at

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Speaker 5: a house party a few months ago when I beat

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Speaker 5: her in Mario Kart and cheering for me. You're hot,

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Speaker 5: You're obast at Mario Kart.

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Speaker 7: Don't go to the wedding, honestly, like you have better

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Speaker 7: things to do.

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Speaker 5: I voiced to my boyfriend that I'm more than willing

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Speaker 5: to have a conversation with the bride to clear the misunderstanding,

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Speaker 5: to try to get her to change her mind, but

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Speaker 5: at the same time, I'm not really sure I want

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Speaker 5: to go to this wedding anymore anyways, as I would

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Speaker 5: hate to be somewhere I'm not wanted. My reasoning for

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Speaker 5: going would be more to support my boyfriend and enjoy

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Speaker 5: the vacation with him. That being said, I shared with

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Speaker 5: my boyfriend that if the decision stays and I'm uninvited,

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Speaker 5: I would be upset if he still decided to go

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Speaker 5: without me. Opie has reasons for this ultimatum. She says,

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Speaker 5: I may feel differently if number one, it wasn't as

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Speaker 5: expensive destination wedding that takes away valuable vacation days he.

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Speaker 6: Doesn't have a lot of.

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Speaker 5: Or two, we were in agreement that my actions justified

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Speaker 5: this decision in any way for me. Him attending without

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Speaker 5: me feels like he's agreeing with the decision and is

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Speaker 5: choosing to stick by his friend over sticking.

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Speaker 1: Up for me.

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00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,960
Speaker 5: Am I am I the a hole for wanting my

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Speaker 5: boyfriend to back out.

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Speaker 1: Yes, this isn't about you. Honestly, this isn't really about you.

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Speaker 8: She says.

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00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,559
Speaker 5: Wow, this has got way more direction than I have

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Speaker 5: ever imagined it would. Thank you all for taking the

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00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:12,440
Speaker 5: time to share your thoughts and insights. It's been really

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00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,720
Speaker 5: helpful for me to read through and help process my emotion.

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00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,720
Speaker 5: This was all super fresh news when I wrote this

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Speaker 5: out this morning. Oh, and I've had some time to process.

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00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,280
Speaker 5: I think my next step will be to reach out

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00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:22,800
Speaker 5: to the bride to have a talk with her and

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Speaker 5: see exactly from her perspective what went wrong that led

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Speaker 5: her to ultimately make the decision to uninvite me. It's

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00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,080
Speaker 5: been a game of telephone so far, so it would

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00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,120
Speaker 5: be helpful to hear it from the source. I plan

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00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,680
Speaker 5: on apologizing to her during this conversation, because even though

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Speaker 5: it may seem like an overreaction and misunderstanding to me

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00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,440
Speaker 5: and others, what she felt was obviously real and real

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00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,760
Speaker 5: enough for her to make this decision. My hope from

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Speaker 5: this conversation is that we can at least be cordial

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Speaker 5: moving forward and be friendly for the sake of our men,

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00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,240
Speaker 5: even if we ownt won't ever be true friends. Op

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Speaker 5: he is mature and hot.

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Speaker 1: There we go edit too.

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Speaker 6: I've had another night to think about the situation.

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00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,160
Speaker 5: Reading through this thread, it is really split fifty to fifty.

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00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,680
Speaker 5: Seeing the different angles of everyone's insight has been super helpful.

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00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,960
Speaker 5: I'm going to talk to my boyfriend tonight and mention

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00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,360
Speaker 5: that while my feelings of being upset are valid, it's

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Speaker 5: not on me to dictate whether he should go to

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00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,400
Speaker 5: the wedding or not. I am understanding of the situation

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00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,160
Speaker 5: and realize that he should be there to support his

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00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,640
Speaker 5: best friend through this important life moment. He's made it

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00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,920
Speaker 5: very clear to me as well, he would be attending

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00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,440
Speaker 5: to support his friends specifically, I do agree with most

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Speaker 5: of the comments here telling me that I should just

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Speaker 5: go on the vacation with my boyfriend and have him

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00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:23,480
Speaker 5: minimize his time with wedding duties to the necessities only.

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Speaker 5: I will bring this option up with him, and hopefully

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Speaker 5: we're able to come to an agreeable compromise that leaves

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Speaker 5: us both feeling heard and understood.

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Speaker 1: Edit three.

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Speaker 5: I told my boyfriend that I plan to reach out

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00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,640
Speaker 5: to the bride to hear her side of the story

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00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,920
Speaker 5: and apologize for any wrongdoings on my part, But he

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Speaker 5: told me that he doesn't think it's the right time

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00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,280
Speaker 5: right now, as the groom has been going to bat

381
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,280
Speaker 5: for us and the bride has been crying a.

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Speaker 7: Lot, so he'd like the dust to settle.

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00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,600
Speaker 5: I guess at this point I'm kind of at a

384
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Speaker 5: standstill and waiting for a final decision to be made

385
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:49,840
Speaker 5: by the bride and groom.

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Speaker 6: The wedding isn't for another.

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00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,360
Speaker 5: Few months, so we have some time to hopefully settle

388
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 5: this be on good terms, and maybe even.

389
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:58,320
Speaker 4: Look back and laugh and laugh and laugh.

390
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,520
Speaker 5: At how ridiculous this all was one day relevant comments

391
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,360
Speaker 5: commenter one, Just go and don't go to the wedding.

392
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. Wait, do you already have like the travel arrangement?

393
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, because they said that the ticket was paid for?

394
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:13,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, they like, go, what do you talk you man?

395
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:14,160
Speaker 7: Just go.

396
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:18,040
Speaker 5: You're a hot Mario Kart player, Go enjoy the beat.

397
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,120
Speaker 1: Go find a Mario Kard tournament.

398
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, go find a resort Mario.

399
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Speaker 1: Kart in Charles Ember over here.

400
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,320
Speaker 4: But oh, he said, we've discussed this option as well.

401
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,880
Speaker 5: But since he's the best man, he would be preoccupied

402
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,600
Speaker 5: with wedding stuff, welcome party rehearsal, the actual wedding ceremony

403
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,680
Speaker 5: of reception. I would be alone most of the time.

404
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,680
Speaker 5: Commenter two, This is tough, but I.

405
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:38,160
Speaker 7: Agree with you.

406
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,760
Speaker 5: Him still going would make me feel weird. I get

407
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,360
Speaker 5: it's not who he's showing up for. The groom making

408
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,720
Speaker 5: the decision. But still, how did your boyfriend react when

409
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,920
Speaker 5: you said you'd be upset if he still went. Has

410
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,280
Speaker 5: any money already been spent on your or his end

411
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:50,880
Speaker 5: to attend?

412
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:51,360
Speaker 7: She says.

413
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,440
Speaker 5: My boyfriend is paid for both of our flights and

414
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:54,760
Speaker 5: hotel bookings already.

415
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,320
Speaker 6: The groom has said he would.

416
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,320
Speaker 5: Pay him back for my portion, as he feels bad

417
00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,800
Speaker 5: about the whole thing, and he felt that it was

418
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,920
Speaker 5: un fair for me to put him in an impossible

419
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,280
Speaker 5: position to pick between me and his best friend. From

420
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,639
Speaker 5: my perspective, though, I'm not asking him to not be

421
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,880
Speaker 5: friends with his best friend, I just don't want him

422
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:09,960
Speaker 5: going to the wedding if I'm not.

423
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,360
Speaker 1: That's okay, lady. No one was saying that you were

424
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 1: doing that.

425
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,000
Speaker 3: Yes, they were saying that, Yeah, you were still putting

426
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,879
Speaker 3: him in an impossible position of picking between attending his

427
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,479
Speaker 3: best friend's wedding or not.

428
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,720
Speaker 5: As much as I get where the groom has to

429
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,280
Speaker 5: take his fiance's side, I think the groom should understand

430
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,280
Speaker 5: why my boyfriend would decide not to go if I'm

431
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,800
Speaker 5: not invited. If Opie and her BF were already married,

432
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,879
Speaker 5: would he still go to the wedding and then Opie

433
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,359
Speaker 5: says he said if we were married, he would back out.

434
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,719
Speaker 5: Comment to three says people don't usually invite guests and

435
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,400
Speaker 5: give them a plus one only then to basically interview,

436
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,679
Speaker 5: evaluate and judge whether the plus one is worthy of

437
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,680
Speaker 5: attending past judgment and rescind the plus one, but allow

438
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,040
Speaker 5: the original guest to attend. That's terrible wedding etiquette.

439
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:49,280
Speaker 1: True.

440
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,119
Speaker 5: And if they plan on continuing the friendship with your

441
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,399
Speaker 5: boyfriend the best man, how do they think that's gonna go.

442
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,119
Speaker 5: No double dates, trips or events with all four of

443
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,240
Speaker 5: you together. You will not be deemed worthy to attend

444
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 5: anything in the presence of her majesty. And what of

445
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 5: you and your boyfriend eventually married. Your boyfriend may want

446
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 5: the current groom to be his best man. Will she

447
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,880
Speaker 5: expect to be invited? These people are shallow and don't

448
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,359
Speaker 5: realize that there's life after the wedding. It's literally the

449
00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:13,560
Speaker 5: smallest of events in a marriage. They're not seeing the

450
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:17,119
Speaker 5: big picture. It's extraordinarily rude to rescind an invite in

451
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,920
Speaker 5: this way, and I would assume you and your boyfriend

452
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,879
Speaker 5: will have to deal with the emotional fallout if he

453
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:25,000
Speaker 5: chooses to attend. Maybe your relationship won't last much longer afterward,

454
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,600
Speaker 5: but maybe that's what the bride wants. She's playing anti cupid,

455
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:31,200
Speaker 5: Opie says. We all agree that she's being really immature

456
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,800
Speaker 5: about this whole thing and is not taken into consideration

457
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,600
Speaker 5: all the consequences that will come from this. I would

458
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,720
Speaker 5: have at least appreciated if she spoke to me about

459
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:38,720
Speaker 5: her feelings before.

460
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,080
Speaker 6: Coming to such an explosive decision.

461
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 7: How old is the bride?

462
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:43,439
Speaker 5: Opie's like she's a bit younger than the rest of us.

463
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,119
Speaker 5: I think she's twenty six or twenty seven.

464
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 7: Boyfriend said. She's always been the baby of the group.

465
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,919
Speaker 5: Opie's boyfriend the one who paid for the entire trip

466
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,360
Speaker 5: when they have only been together for eight months. When

467
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,199
Speaker 5: he was a plus one at my best friend's wedding,

468
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 5: I paid for our accommodations as he was my guest.

469
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,520
Speaker 6: This time, i'm his guest. To main sense for him

470
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 6: to pay. There's an update.

471
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,159
Speaker 5: Amendments to my previous post slash comments. Turns out I

472
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,840
Speaker 5: actually paid for the flights. It's been so long since

473
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,920
Speaker 5: we booked I forgot. The resort is technically refundable since

474
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,119
Speaker 5: you don't pay until you get there. The groom has

475
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,320
Speaker 5: said he would pair up my boyfriend with another guest

476
00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 5: that's coming alone, as the rooms are priced for two occupants.

477
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:17,800
Speaker 1: I kind of love that.

478
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:21,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, I kind of love the sitcom happeningam at the resort.

479
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 5: I told my boyfriend that while it's valid for me

480
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 5: to be upset about the situation, it's not valid for

481
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 5: me to dictate whether you should go to this wedding

482
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,119
Speaker 5: or not. Understand the tough spot you're in, and I

483
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 5: don't want to make it more difficult than it already

484
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,560
Speaker 5: is for you. Whatever the final decision Bryd and groom

485
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,639
Speaker 5: come to is, you should go to support the groom.

486
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,679
Speaker 5: If the decision stays that they don't want me at

487
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 5: the wedding, maybe we can still just go to the

488
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,920
Speaker 5: resort together and I'll just enjoy some solo spot time

489
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 5: while you're doing wedding stuff. Noway, we can still have

490
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 5: some time together and you can fulfill your best man duties.

491
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,320
Speaker 5: He was very against this idea, saying this would most

492
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 5: definitely cause a lot of drama and alienate me further

493
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 5: from the group. He said that he knows his friend

494
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 5: grew better than me and if he feels like this

495
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 5: would cause more stress for him, I'll bow out. I

496
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 5: mentioned if he doesn't want me staying at the same resort,

497
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,760
Speaker 5: I could go to a different resort in that area,

498
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 5: so at least the flights aren't wasted mists so much.

499
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,240
Speaker 5: He was against this idea as well. Instead, I should

500
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,480
Speaker 5: just stay home or go to a different destination.

501
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:13,080
Speaker 6: Completely.

502
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,920
Speaker 5: I have no reason to think that my boyfriend is

503
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,960
Speaker 5: being unfaithful, as some of the comments in my previous

504
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,199
Speaker 5: post of mention, Yeah, this just seems to be a

505
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,199
Speaker 5: point that we don't align on. He wants to make

506
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:23,920
Speaker 5: it as drama free for the bride and groom on

507
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,000
Speaker 5: their wedding weekend by prioritizing their comfort and needs overmind,

508
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 5: I want to be the understanding girlfriend so badly, but man,

509
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,640
Speaker 5: am I torn between feeling neglected as the girlfriend versus

510
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 5: trying to just let it go.

511
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 6: And not not pass away on this hill?

512
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 7: Am I overreacting? Thank you?

513
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 5: I saw aio and I was like, am I wrong?

514
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 1: The tank?

515
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think he's wrong for not just letting you

516
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 3: go and be at the resort.

517
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 1: I don't think.

518
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,600
Speaker 3: I don't think he's cheating, but I think maybe he's

519
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,679
Speaker 3: been primed to be like, well, this is gonna be

520
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 3: so much because you were, like, the amount of drama

521
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 3: that's already been attached to it is making him paranoid

522
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:00,240
Speaker 3: that there will be so much more drama if you

523
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 3: actually show up. Yeah, that's why I think you may

524
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 3: have played yourself a little bit here.

525
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 5: I feel like everybody. I feel like from the beginning

526
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 5: everything has been framed to be like because again the

527
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,400
Speaker 5: bride's this all started with the bride overreacting too.

528
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,480
Speaker 6: Everybody's freaking out, and.

529
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,960
Speaker 1: I can just go there and not go I want

530
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 1: to get a wedding and don't.

531
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,919
Speaker 5: Want to be about that too nihilistic. But one day

532
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,479
Speaker 5: the lights shut for everybody and we close our eyes

533
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,480
Speaker 5: and take our last breath, and it won't matter.

534
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:33,160
Speaker 9: My father refused to sell his luxury cars, even though

535
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 9: it's dragging us down.

536
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,880
Speaker 7: You can't take my cars.

537
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 9: It's Father's Day today where I live, so I feel

538
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 9: particularly bad about it. This encounter happened yesterday. My father,

539
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 9: sixty four, got full custody of me at nineteen mail

540
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,400
Speaker 9: when I was ten years old, and we moved two

541
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,399
Speaker 9: states away from the rest of my family. My father

542
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 9: suffered a work accident that caused him to become disabled,

543
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 9: and as it was, he received a hefty compensation from

544
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,399
Speaker 9: his former job. On top of that, he walked away

545
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 9: from his separation from my mom with eighty percent of everything,

546
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 9: So just short of one million dollars.

547
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 4: Bay oooh, that's a lot.

548
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,040
Speaker 9: To put it simply, he had a lot of money.

549
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 9: By the way, this comes from Flimsy Public thirty five

550
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,719
Speaker 9: twenty three And if you want us to make your

551
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,400
Speaker 9: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

552
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 9: I'm Carly, I'm.

553
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,239
Speaker 4: Sophia, and I'm Keon, and we'll try to give our

554
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:31,879
Speaker 4: best advice.

555
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 9: But we haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves, so

556
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 9: if you have, let us know your take in the comments.

557
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 9: And op says, Unfortunately, he is financially irresponsible and had

558
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:48,199
Speaker 9: no money. Within a year, he purchased some land and

559
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 9: began construction on a house, but after running out of money,

560
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,439
Speaker 9: we were left with a half built home which was

561
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 9: not suitable to live in, exposed wires, unfinished plumbing, incomplete

562
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:03,199
Speaker 9: walls and floor. He ended up raising me off his

563
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 9: disability pension, which is below the poverty line where we live.

564
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 9: It was rough extremely so we barely had food in

565
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,920
Speaker 9: the house most weeks, and without going into it into

566
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 9: too much detail, I'm surprised I wasn't taken away by

567
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 9: child services back then.

568
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 7: Part of the.

569
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 9: Reason he ran out of money was because he purchased

570
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 9: two luxury cars. Ironically, he cannot even drive them due

571
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,160
Speaker 9: to his disability.

572
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,920
Speaker 7: What what he can't even drive this?

573
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 1: Just for show?

574
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 7: Where do you put them?

575
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 9: I mean I feel like at that point, get one

576
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 9: and if it's possible to trick it out in some

577
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 9: way that you can drive it, like.

578
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 4: Get the modifications you need.

579
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,920
Speaker 7: But two, but maybe let's focus on like a house

580
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:49,399
Speaker 7: and food.

581
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 9: Yeah, ironically he cannot even drive it due to his disability,

582
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 9: so they've been gathering dust in the shed since he

583
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 9: bought them. I couldn't even finish school because he wasn't

584
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 9: able to drive me and there weren't buses available where

585
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 9: I live. Once I began earning an income as a teenager,

586
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 9: I began putting money into the house. It's looking much

587
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 9: better these days, but far from complete. My father's pension

588
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 9: goes solely towards bills and whatever new gadgets he sees online,

589
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 9: like drones, tractors he can't use.

590
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 7: Stop buying vehicles that you can't drive.

591
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 4: And all sorts of things like that.

592
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 9: And as a result, I am financially responsible for everything

593
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 9: else groceries, medication, furniture, doctor's bills, vet bills, and even

594
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 9: his clothes. I also often lend him money. I do

595
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 9: not earn a lot of money and am struggling significantly.

596
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 7: You need to stop lending this guy money. Yeah, I

597
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 7: know he's your dad, but like, honestly, it's not even

598
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 7: helping him. If anything, you can like buy the things

599
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 7: that he needs, yeah, if you really want to help,

600
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 7: But giving him the money directly is not helping him.

601
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 9: I am also his official carr constantly looking after him,

602
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 9: cleaning after him, etc. And it just feels like my

603
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 9: entire life revolves around him, as if I'm his parent and.

604
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 4: Not the other way around.

605
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 9: I am just so drained and my exhaustion reached its

606
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 9: breaking point this week. I started having dreams where I

607
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 9: was just breaking down, yelling at him about how it's

608
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,879
Speaker 9: not fair and he's a terrible father. I talked to

609
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 9: him yesterday morning, asked if he would consider selling his cars,

610
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,199
Speaker 9: or even just one of them, as they would not

611
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 9: only complete the house, but also help him as he

612
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 9: would no longer have to live paycheck to paycheck. He

613
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,879
Speaker 9: said he wouldn't do it, saying they were investments. We

614
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 9: had a bit of a back and forth, and I

615
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 9: was trying so hard not to be mean about it,

616
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 9: because I know he dreams of recovering being able to

617
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 9: just drive his dream cars, but it's just never.

618
00:25:58,119 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 4: Going to happen.

619
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,679
Speaker 9: I'm not upset that he won't sell his cars to

620
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,040
Speaker 9: lessen the burden on my shoulders now, but upset that

621
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 9: he still didn't sell them when I was still a

622
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 9: child so I could have had a better childhood. He

623
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 9: said he got them for himself so he could have

624
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 9: something nice for himself, and quickly got angry and defensive

625
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 9: for even asking. I ended up asking if he thought

626
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 9: he was a bit selfish for prioritizing himself over his

627
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:28,360
Speaker 9: own child. He said no, asked what I was accusing

628
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 9: him of, and told me to move back with my

629
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,119
Speaker 9: mother if I didn't like it. I just left his

630
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 9: bedroom where we were talking and haven't spoken to him since.

631
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:37,199
Speaker 4: That's wild.

632
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Yeah, that's crazy to me. Dang. I would

633
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: be like, all right, cool, have fun, with your cars

634
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 1: that you can't drive, and then you're going to be.

635
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:47,679
Speaker 7: A car person your tractors.

636
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 9: I was planning on getting him a Father's Day gift yesterday,

637
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 9: but ended up breaking down to my girlfriend about how

638
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,919
Speaker 9: exhausted I was and how I didn't understand how he

639
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 9: could be such a good person but terrible parent. I

640
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 9: ended up feeling guilty this morning and made a handmade

641
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 9: card for him, which I stuck to the fridge with

642
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 9: a magnet. He hasn't tried to speak to me. Any

643
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 9: advice please. Commenter one says, it's time to take care

644
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:18,159
Speaker 9: of yourself. You've been handling adult problems all along and

645
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 9: didn't get to grow up as you should have. Paying bills, etc.

646
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 9: Is wrong, op start saving for yourself. It's obvious your

647
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 9: dad doesn't care and it's all about him. If your

648
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 9: dad doesn't sell the cars, it might be time to

649
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 9: just leave. Dad can live with the stupid cars since

650
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 9: they're more important to him than an unfinished house, bills,

651
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 9: and mostly his son being raised and treated right. Is

652
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 9: there any way you can just leave and be free

653
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 9: of the major burden that isn't yours.

654
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 4: Maybe move in.

655
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 9: With your girlfriend, get a roommate, or even see about

656
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 9: going back to your mom or other family. Finish school,

657
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,919
Speaker 9: get a ged, figure out your goals and life. You

658
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 9: don't deserve to be stuck as you are now. When

659
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 9: your dad is not responsible, it's time to let go.

660
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 9: Your dad will never learn financial responsibility. Comment Too says,

661
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 9: I'm not an expert, but if the market crashes, I

662
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 9: would think luxury items would be less popular, popularity and

663
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 9: demand termin price, so prices would go down. But also,

664
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 9: investments are something you have as an extra. Having a

665
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 9: large amount of money in the form of cars while

666
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 9: having to borrow money from your child who is struggling,

667
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 9: is not okay. Perhaps you should think about whether loaning

668
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 9: him money is the right thing to do. It takes

669
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 9: away any urgency for him to cash in his investments.

670
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,719
Speaker 9: Investment cars need maintenance and special care. If they're not

671
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 9: kept in a garage that meets preservation standards, he won't

672
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 9: get as much from his investments as he expects. Opie says,

673
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 9: I don't think he understands how the economy works very

674
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 9: well and has a poor understanding of what happened if

675
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 9: the market crashed. I'm also not an expert, but he's

676
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 9: even less of an expert. I'm going to watch a

677
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 9: documentary about the Great Depression with him tonight so.

678
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 7: That he understands what happens when the market crashes.

679
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 4: Yes, no, it's gonna be really funny because he'd be like, wow, that.

680
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 1: Must suck, Like, yeah, that does suck. That's terrible.

681
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 2: Uh.

682
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 9: I've decided to stop lending him money, but he's also

683
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 9: decided that he's willing to sell one of the cars,

684
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 9: and it's considering taking out a bank loan to complete

685
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 9: the house so I won't have to pay for anything.

686
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 9: Comment or three says, make sure he leaves them to

687
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 9: you and his will, and make sure he has a will.

688
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 9: Opie says, he does have a will, and everything he

689
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 9: owns is going to me, including the house and cars.

690
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 9: It's part of the reason why I'm putting so much

691
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 9: money and effort into finishing the house instead of watching

692
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 9: it deteriorate. Comment Ford says, why did he get full custody?

693
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 9: Opie says, my mom didn't want me.

694
00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: Oh.

695
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 9: Ouch, she said she wanted to retire and couldn't look

696
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 9: after me and be a retiree. At the same time,

697
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 9: CLI says, wait, how much older is your mother than

698
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 9: your father, Opie says, she's six years younger than him. Actually,

699
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 9: she was forty when I was born and he was

700
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 9: forty six. She's fifty nine now and he's sixty four

701
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 9: turning sixty five. Reply says, so your mother retired at fifty,

702
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 9: ditched you with your disabled father, and unless you failed

703
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 9: to mention it, never paid any form of support. What

704
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 9: she's spending her money on and how much have you

705
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 9: criticized her? Your dad is a wiener, You don't deserve this,

706
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 9: but cut him a slice of break. Opie says essentially

707
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 9: yes and no, she didn't pay child support because she said,

708
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 9: my dad has two mountains of cash, his cars sitting

709
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 9: in the shed. She paid for half of a laptop

710
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 9: I needed for school when I was fifteen, and she

711
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 9: still holds it against me, even though I paid her back.

712
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 9: I don't know what she spends her money on since

713
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 9: we barely talk, only that she goes to Indonesia on

714
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 9: holiday a few times a year and seems to be

715
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 9: living nicely based off her Facebook posts. I'm not very

716
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 9: close with her because she never seemed to like me

717
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 9: very much and told me to my face that she

718
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 9: never wanted to have a third child, which was me iked.

719
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 7: Also just like the loadedness of the dad saying you

720
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 7: should go live with your mom. Yeah, if you have

721
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 7: any kind against me, now knowing that she literally said,

722
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 7: I I never wanted your dad doesn't.

723
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 4: Yours are not good?

724
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 9: No, Yeah, she had two children from a previous marriage.

725
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 9: I pity my dad a lot because of his disability,

726
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 9: which is why I try not to get mad about

727
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 9: my childhood and support him as much as I can.

728
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 9: I think I'm just really drained and it all exploded.

729
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 7: We have an.

730
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 9: Update, Yes, I think got anything will just just that.

731
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 7: The like that what the commenters are saying of putting

732
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 7: yourself first. I think you've done a lot for your

733
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 7: dad and you're only nineteen. Yeah, you've given so much

734
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:05,719
Speaker 7: money and also just like mental space to your dad

735
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 7: when he's not giving you anything in return. So I agree.

736
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 9: I talked to my father this morning. He's willing to

737
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 9: sell one of his cars. He took it out of

738
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 9: the garage and I spent a few hours cleaning the interior,

739
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 9: which was coated in dust and somehow spiderwebs what. He's

740
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 9: not sure who to contact because he doesn't want to

741
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 9: go through a car yard. I talked to him about

742
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 9: how the cars would be losing value due to the

743
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 9: lack of maintenance, and we spent the morning experimenting with them.

744
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 9: They definitely require some work after all these years, but

745
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 9: they seem to be in pretty good condition. I asked

746
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 9: if I would be able to have fifty percent of

747
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 9: the home in my name, considering how much money I've

748
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 9: put into the house and how much more I plan

749
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:53,959
Speaker 9: to put into it, and he agreed.

750
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:56,719
Speaker 4: But that's great that he's doing.

751
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 7: You got one car, You got what he got him

752
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 7: to sell one car?

753
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 9: Yeah, which hopefully you guys can get a lot for

754
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 9: that will go to you since you've been so much.

755
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 4: What is he doing with the other car to get

756
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 4: the money for it?

757
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 7: Get that money.

758
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 9: He is also now considering taking out a loan to

759
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 9: finish the house once and for all, which means I

760
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 9: wouldn't have to pay for what's left. I don't know

761
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 9: if any of it will actually stick, but either way,

762
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 9: the responses I received open my eyes about the trajectory

763
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 9: of my life, and I'm going to focus on myself

764
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 9: a lot more than I have.

765
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 7: Been insane to take out alone when you have a

766
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 7: luxury car a second luxury car sitting in the garage unused.

767
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 9: He didn't mention our argument, but judging by his mood

768
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 9: and his sudden decisions, I think he might have spent

769
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 9: some time thinking.

770
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 4: About his choices in life.

771
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 9: It's too late for him to be the parent I

772
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 9: needed as a child, but hopefully he can become the

773
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 9: parent I need as an adult.

774
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 4: Dang, that's the end.

775
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 6: That's a real statement, right.

776
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 4: There is a fact.

777
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,479
Speaker 7: I hope so, I hope so.

778
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 4: I hope so too.

779
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,800
Speaker 2: Hey, John Ogi host here, we're gonna get back to

780
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 2: this episode, but a quick three minute break of ads

781
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 2: from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

782
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 7: My future sister in law's mother mocked our family, but

783
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 7: I couldn't tell anyone, tell everybody. And this is coming

784
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 7: directly from the r slash okay story. I'm subpered it. Honestly,

785
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:29,760
Speaker 7: It's exactly how the title reads, and it really sucks

786
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 7: because I'm technically not even legally in the family yet,

787
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 7: so I have no clue what to do, and I

788
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:37,479
Speaker 7: don't think I should be doing anything. I did tell

789
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 7: my partner, though, who is the eldest sibling. The groom

790
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,879
Speaker 7: was their brother, and the middle child By the way,

791
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 7: this comes from Bitty Kitty seven to ten, and if

792
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 7: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

793
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 7: r slash Okay story Time subreed it. I'm Sophia, I'm.

794
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 4: Carly, and I'm Keon, and we try to.

795
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 7: Give our best advice. But we haven't experienced most of

796
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 7: these situations ourselves, so if you have, please let us

797
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,399
Speaker 7: know what you would do in the comments. But Opie says,

798
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 7: I had previously heard things about the bride my future

799
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 7: sister in law's mother. Apparently she kind of competed with

800
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 7: my partner's mother because my partner's brother just had a

801
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 7: child about two to three years ago, and she's been

802
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 7: butting heads with my partner's mother trying to prove who's

803
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 7: the better grandmother. She's the one that has more money,

804
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 7: so she thinks that she can provide more. They even

805
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,239
Speaker 7: bought a house for them. I have nothing against this.

806
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 7: It's honestly something really good and sentimental for them. A

807
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:33,839
Speaker 7: house is a big thing for new family, and I

808
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 7: respect that. However, apparently she's dropped other subtle things in

809
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 7: the past that I can't remember. Anyway, onto the actual story,

810
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 7: after a little bit of background that I knew about her.

811
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 7: They decided to have a wedding outside at a waterfall

812
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,280
Speaker 7: at a national park to say some vows, eat some food,

813
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 7: and spend some quality time with close family, and get

814
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,359
Speaker 7: to know some of the direct in laws. I think

815
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 7: I had only met her one other time, and it

816
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 7: was when she showed up to the grandmother's I should

817
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,839
Speaker 7: also add that their grandmother had passed away last year

818
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 7: my partners and the grooms and many years before that

819
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 7: they had lost their grandfather. When they planned the ceremony,

820
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 7: they decided to have a picture of their grandmother and

821
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 7: grandfather at the wedding with them because they were not

822
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 7: there to physically attend. Me and my partner. Their mother

823
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:24,319
Speaker 7: and sister thought it was extremely sentimental and beautiful. We

824
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 7: were going to ride from my partner's cousins who they

825
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 7: were really close with and were raised together as if

826
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 7: they were siblings. At times, while everybody was getting ready,

827
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,359
Speaker 7: the groom, bride and our side of the family were

828
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 7: helping get the flowers and things like that from one car,

829
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 7: while the bride's mother, stepfather, and I think some other

830
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 7: siblings of the bride were getting the food out well.

831
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,360
Speaker 7: Right before they went to get the food out of

832
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,840
Speaker 7: the car. I don't know why, but the mother decided

833
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 7: to ask her daughter, the bride, if she really wanted

834
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:57,240
Speaker 7: this photo and the wedding. She looked at her honestly

835
00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 7: offended and said, yes, of course I want in the wedding.

836
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 7: To my surprise, the mother rolled her eyes and then

837
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 7: went back to the car to help the stepfather unload

838
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 7: the food. While she was back there, I happened to

839
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 7: overhear something that I swear word for word was it's

840
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 7: so weird to be so sentimental over a picture. And

841
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,799
Speaker 7: then she laughed with their new husband and these other adults.

842
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 7: They all were laughing. I couldn't tell exactly all of

843
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 7: their tones, but her tones sounded like she thought it

844
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 7: was funny. This made my blood boil. I had known

845
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 7: their grandmother personally before she passed away. I ended up

846
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 7: crying really hard, and I don't like to cry, especially

847
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 7: around my partner's family. After that, I started actually opening

848
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 7: up to their family more, because before I was so

849
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 7: scared due to my own trauma for my family that

850
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 7: I felt I was going to be outcasted the same way,

851
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,399
Speaker 7: and I unfortunately avoided them for the longest time. That's

852
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 7: why I only got to spend like a year or

853
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 7: two with their grandmother and getting to know them. However,

854
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 7: I reminded myself that I am not even technically an

855
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 7: in law yet and started to have extreme anxiety over it,

856
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 7: realizing that if I said something, I would be the

857
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 7: one ruining everything, especially if her mother denied it. I

858
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,800
Speaker 7: didn't want to ruin a beautiful day with her already

859
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 7: acting like that and her daughter knowing that she was

860
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 7: going to be annoying. The daughter and bride even said

861
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 7: at some point something along the lines of God, everything's

862
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 7: got to be about her under her breath as her

863
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 7: mother was walking away. I kept my mouth shut the

864
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,440
Speaker 7: entire time. It was to the point that my partner

865
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:34,239
Speaker 7: was even checking in on me a few times to

866
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 7: make sure I was okay. I told them I was

867
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 7: each time, even though I kind of wasn't. It was

868
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 7: better to tell them that than to say what actually

869
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 7: happened and have some sort of fight breakout. I also

870
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 7: kept my mouth shut on the way home because I

871
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 7: didn't want to upset the person dry the guests. I

872
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 7: don't know why I tend to be like this anyway,

873
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 7: I'm unfortunately extremely passive due to trauma. When we got home,

874
00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 7: I told my partner and they got really that. They

875
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 7: said they weren't in a good mood anymore because of that,

876
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 7: but did say that it was a good thing. I

877
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 7: didn't say anything because they would have possibly said or

878
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 7: done something and our cousin might have two laugh at pictures. Yeah,

879
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 7: Like I I don't understand why all of those people

880
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 7: were acting like that, but I definitely do think it

881
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:24,280
Speaker 7: was the best move to not bring that up.

882
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:25,919
Speaker 4: We didn't need that in the moment.

883
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 7: No, It's like if you're, like, I don't know, like

884
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 7: at a birthday party and you overhear someone at the

885
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,840
Speaker 7: birthday already being like, oh they look so ugly, but

886
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 7: the birthday present, ever bring that up. I don't think

887
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 7: you ever have to be like, yeah, that's like a

888
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:42,879
Speaker 7: thing to say. Yeah. Yeah. Part of me wonders if

889
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:44,920
Speaker 7: maybe I should have said something, at least in the

890
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 7: car on the way home. However, I also have ADHD

891
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 7: undiagnosed autism and auditory processing disorder. I realized that I

892
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 7: did end up shooting her a dirty look because she

893
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:58,240
Speaker 7: looked towards me. We made eye contact for a moment,

894
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 7: and I just shook my head with a appointed faith.

895
00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 7: Even with this subtle action alone, I was, well, I'm

896
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,360
Speaker 7: wondering and hoping it didn't seem like I was being

897
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,719
Speaker 7: rude in any way.

898
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,040
Speaker 4: I think you probably just confused her.

899
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 7: Yeah, she's like, what's going on? I who what? I

900
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 7: only did that because I didn't know what else to do,

901
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 7: and she looked my way while I was in a

902
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:24,120
Speaker 7: state of disappointment and containing my anger. This is kind

903
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 7: of unrelated, but I wanted to mention it for context.

904
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 7: I love my partner, and I wish we could have

905
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 7: had our own wedding, but we can't do to legal

906
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 7: and financial reasons. We are both on disability and they

907
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 7: would have caught our benefits if we were to get married,

908
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 7: and we cannot afford that loss. I also have concerns

909
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,279
Speaker 7: about my own family situation, since I literally only have

910
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 7: my two younger siblings, and I don't know if they

911
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 7: would be able to attend because their father is manipulative

912
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 7: and controlling. They told me today that they wish we

913
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 7: could do something like this one day. I want to

914
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 7: wait until my siblings are allowed to make choices for themselves,

915
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:00,239
Speaker 7: which will be only two years for one of my siblings,

916
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 7: but my other sibling is thirteen. They have been my

917
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 7: rock and my world. They were my world until I

918
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 7: met my partner, then they became part of my world together.

919
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 7: They were also my very first supporters when I came

920
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,560
Speaker 7: out as trans and they were the first ones to

921
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,280
Speaker 7: accept me as a man. They both even started calling

922
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,320
Speaker 7: me big brother. That's lovely, That's awesome.

923
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 4: I love a supportive feeling.

924
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm like this mother, I like this sucky mother

925
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 7: in law. I'm so grateful for them and love them

926
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 7: so much that not having them present at a wedding

927
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 7: would honestly hurt me and probably hurt them too. But anyway,

928
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 7: back to the actual situation. My partner and I talked

929
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:41,440
Speaker 7: about it. I told them that honestly, the best thing

930
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 7: would probably be to tell the groom and bride when

931
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 7: we hang out with them next, because they want to

932
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:47,880
Speaker 7: see us. Before the end of the month, they'll be

933
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 7: moving to Texas from Washington State into the house that

934
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:53,400
Speaker 7: the bride's parents bought. I asked if they wanted me

935
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 7: to bring it up to the room to have it

936
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 7: be a man to man conversation, brother to brother, but

937
00:41:58,160 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 7: they think it would be best if they handle it

938
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,399
Speaker 7: since their siblings. I agreed mainly because I didn't really

939
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,959
Speaker 7: want to talk to them about this, and I feel

940
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 7: like I don't have the complete right to speak on it.

941
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 7: I feel like I at least don't have the right

942
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 7: to call that out directly. I personally think that they

943
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 7: should address this because if not used to know if

944
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 7: she's going to respect other family members later on. Not

945
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 7: only that, but their mother also just got diagnosed with

946
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 7: a fatal condition that might only give her five years.

947
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 7: With this kind of attitude, who's to say that the

948
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 7: bride's mother even cares about her, especially when she's already

949
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:32,880
Speaker 7: competed with her and tried to make her feel lesser

950
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,919
Speaker 7: by trying to be the better grandmother. I also feel

951
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,160
Speaker 7: like it's unfair to their mother for them to be

952
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 7: moving this quickly, since she's only been a grandmother for

953
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 7: one year. For some reason, the bride and groom have

954
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 7: stated multiple times that they only want the grandparents watching

955
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 7: their child. They don't even feel comfortable with their siblings

956
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 7: watching him. That's weird. I feel strange.

957
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:57,120
Speaker 8: It's a little weird, but UHH, their choice. I guess, yeah.

958
00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 8: We offered to watch him multiple times. I even got

959
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,920
Speaker 8: an entire diaper bag and a pack and play ready

960
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:05,279
Speaker 8: for him, but the pack and play didn't really ever

961
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 8: get used until I offered to give it to their mom.

962
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 8: The formula that I kept for emergencies was only used

963
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 8: when they ran out and texted asking if we had

964
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,879
Speaker 8: any Then they would just drive over, pick it up

965
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:19,319
Speaker 8: and leave. I genuinely care about them and their kid

966
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,879
Speaker 8: and hope for the best for them, even.

967
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 7: If we disagree with some other choices. They're their choices

968
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:28,399
Speaker 7: because it's their life and their kid. We made sure

969
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 7: to give them a card, and I gave them some crystals,

970
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,839
Speaker 7: hoping for good vibes for their marriage. I got their

971
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:37,239
Speaker 7: child a little playphone because he likes playing with people's smartphones.

972
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 7: It's just a little plastic brick that has some buttons

973
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:42,800
Speaker 7: and makes noises. He's about three and has just started

974
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 7: to learn how to run.

975
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:48,399
Speaker 4: Yeah you did you? I mean, like they can sort

976
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 4: it out themselves.

977
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 9: I don't think you ever really needed to say anything.

978
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 9: I think if it's I can get you the peace

979
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,719
Speaker 9: of mind, I'm sure, But like at the end of

980
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:58,760
Speaker 9: the day, it's like, okay, sounds like mother.

981
00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 4: In law just kind of sucks.

982
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:03,240
Speaker 7: I feel like they probably know, because there's no way.

983
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 4: Or that it doesn't come back that she also heard

984
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 4: it exactly.

985
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,919
Speaker 7: I think they know, and they're just trying to put

986
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 7: up with mother in law because mother in law is

987
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 7: giving them a house and providing a lot of money.

988
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,719
Speaker 9: And when you have a new kid, that's so we

989
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 9: could end up being like, oh, yeah, we know, she sucks. Yeah,

990
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 9: we can talk about it now, I guess because you

991
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 9: also know.

992
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 7: But other than that, but I don't think you need to.

993
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 7: But I don't think it'll I think it's fine what

994
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 7: you do. I don't think it's honestly going to start

995
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 7: a fight. I think they're gonna be like, yeah, he sucks.

996
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 7: I'm looking for advice on how to not let this

997
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 7: eat at me, and also how can I support my

998
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 7: partner in communicating this to them since I was the

999
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 7: one that ended up hearing it. I want to be

1000
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,239
Speaker 7: a good boyfriend and also an unofficial uncle in law.

1001
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 7: That's also why I can't help but be upset about this.

1002
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,720
Speaker 7: The last few months, they just started calling me uncle

1003
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 7: to their kid, which made me smile real big. I

1004
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 7: couldn't help but cry happy tears when I got home

1005
00:44:58,120 --> 00:44:59,839
Speaker 7: thinking about how I get to be an uncle Now,

1006
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:03,320
Speaker 7: I will miss the little booger, and I'll miss spending

1007
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 7: time with my now unofficial brother in law and sister

1008
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 7: in law, their dog and their cats. Yes, they have animals,

1009
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,760
Speaker 7: and that's literally what we used to do, doggie play dates.

1010
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 7: It wasn't too often, but it was really fun. And

1011
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 7: that's the end of that story. I think, Yeah, I

1012
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:20,879
Speaker 7: think you are overthinking it just a little bit.

1013
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 4: I think you were thinking it a lot. But you're

1014
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:23,479
Speaker 4: handling it fine.

1015
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:25,279
Speaker 7: But it's okay. I think you're gonna talk to them

1016
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,279
Speaker 7: and it's gonna be all right, So don't worry about

1017
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:29,360
Speaker 7: it too much. I think you'll probably know that the

1018
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 7: mother in law sucks.

1019
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:30,399
Speaker 9: Yeah.

1020
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:31,360
Speaker 6: Ope, he's one of our own.

1021
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 7: Oh, I love you.

1022
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:33,439
Speaker 4: You're doing great.

1023
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 7: You're doing great.

1024
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1025
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,720
Speaker 2: But here's three of bits of ads from our sponsors

1026
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 2: that keep the show alive.

1027
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,440
Speaker 7: I refuse to break no contact with my mother even

1028
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 7: though I'm hospitalized.

1029
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,319
Speaker 1: Stay strong, Figger warning.

1030
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 7: Mentions of abuse. I twenty two female, and my boyfriend,

1031
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 7: twenty three male, moved in together last year. I moved

1032
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,319
Speaker 7: away from the city where my mother lives with my

1033
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:01,320
Speaker 7: two younger sisters, fifteen female and twenty one female. After

1034
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 7: many years of emotional, psychological, verbal, and even physical abuse,

1035
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 7: I finally went no contact with my mother. From the

1036
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 7: time I was about fourteen to seventeen, the police were

1037
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 7: always at my house dealing with mine in my mother's

1038
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 7: domestic disputes. By the way, this comes from Bunny Baby Mama,

1039
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 7: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

1040
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 7: to the r slash Okay storytime subvered it. I'm Sophia,

1041
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 7: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we try to give our

1042
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 7: best advice, but we haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves,

1043
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,440
Speaker 7: so if you have, let us know what you would do.

1044
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 7: In the comments, and Opie says after my parents divorced,

1045
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,319
Speaker 7: she had a lot of misplaced anger that seemed to

1046
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 7: find its way to me. I understand that I wasn't

1047
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:47,319
Speaker 7: perfect and I did do some bad things, but I

1048
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 7: was a child who didn't have her life skills yet,

1049
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 7: and I have grown she hasn't. After many years of

1050
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 7: being no contact with my father, I ended up moving

1051
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 7: in with him for three months at about eighteen because

1052
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:03,359
Speaker 7: one of mine and my mother's newest fights. It only

1053
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 7: lasted three months because my dad is not a very

1054
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 7: good person and his girlfriend now wife was somehow worse.

1055
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:11,719
Speaker 7: I got an apartment, but my mother needed to co

1056
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 7: sign since it was my first place. However, she never

1057
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 7: failed to use it against me when I didn't tell

1058
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 7: her or give her exactly what she wanted, threatening to

1059
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 7: cancel my lease and basically make me homeless since I

1060
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:26,920
Speaker 7: couldn't afford a new damage deposit. Everybody in my family

1061
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 7: says that she did this out of the kindness of

1062
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:32,319
Speaker 7: her heart, that co signing was something most parents would

1063
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:36,200
Speaker 7: never do. That's a lie, while conveniently forgetting the fact

1064
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 7: that it was used against me for years. That's why

1065
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 7: I'm here looking for unbiased opinions. A year ago, we

1066
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 7: finally had a big blow up fight while I was

1067
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:47,280
Speaker 7: looking to move in with my boyfriend, and I finally

1068
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 7: let her break the lease. Moving in with him has

1069
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 7: been so unbelievably freeing and we are so happy. It

1070
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 7: was even more peaceful because my mother decided to give

1071
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,800
Speaker 7: me the silent treatment, hoping that would drive me insane,

1072
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:04,840
Speaker 7: when in reality it was extremely peaceful. About six months later,

1073
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:08,280
Speaker 7: she finally stopped giving me the silent treatment and instead

1074
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,280
Speaker 7: made a group chat with me and my two sisters

1075
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 7: trying to coordinate a family picture. I said yes for

1076
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 7: my siblings, and since me and my boyfriend were going

1077
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 7: to be taking some couples photos anyway, we decided we

1078
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,360
Speaker 7: would go together. She told me she wanted everyone to

1079
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 7: wear brown, so I ordered a brown dress and found

1080
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 7: my boyfriend a.

1081
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 1: Brown sweater brown.

1082
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 7: After a couple of weeks, she decided to change the

1083
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 7: color scheme and ordered herself and my sister's matching dresses.

1084
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:39,279
Speaker 7: Me and my boyfriend did not match, making me the

1085
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,720
Speaker 7: only one that didn't match in the family photo.

1086
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 1: It's okay, you stand out. Now everyone's going to be.

1087
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:47,440
Speaker 7: Like, who's that, pretty lady?

1088
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:48,399
Speaker 1: Who is that?

1089
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 7: Then she went right back to ignoring me. After this,

1090
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 7: this kind of thing was common, but I let it

1091
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,320
Speaker 7: go and got some really nice photos with my boyfriend.

1092
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 7: There was a lot of family drama back in twenty twenty.

1093
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 7: My grandpa was hospitalized and had open heart surgery, and

1094
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:07,120
Speaker 7: the family constantly fought and kind of fell out of contact.

1095
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 7: But after four years, about two and a half months ago,

1096
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 7: my grandparents decided we should all finally get together for

1097
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 7: a family barbecue. The entire time, my mother would shoot

1098
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,800
Speaker 7: daggers at me. Every time me and my little sisters

1099
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 7: were laughing, she'd give me dirty looks, and whenever I

1100
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 7: wasn't in the vicinity, she'd start talking about me. Basically,

1101
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,360
Speaker 7: she was the best friend to everybody there and was

1102
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:34,360
Speaker 7: my biggest hater. Two months ago, I completely cut contact

1103
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 7: because one day she messaged me out of the blue

1104
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:40,280
Speaker 7: demanding i'd give her login information for a digital marketing

1105
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 7: course that her and my aunt bought and let me

1106
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 7: use over sixteen months ago. She accused me of changing

1107
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 7: the password and a whole bunch else I was unfortunately

1108
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:51,399
Speaker 7: working and told her I would look for it later.

1109
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:54,320
Speaker 7: She then got extremely upset with me for not helping

1110
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:57,359
Speaker 7: her when she needed help and not answering her after

1111
00:49:57,480 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 7: she ignored me for a year.

1112
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is crazy that.

1113
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, out of the blue, she's like, give me the

1114
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:04,319
Speaker 3: log in for that thing.

1115
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,280
Speaker 1: I know you changed it, you monstar.

1116
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:09,799
Speaker 3: Give it here, Like, yeah, I have this think called

1117
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:10,240
Speaker 3: a job.

1118
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 1: I can't help you right now, but I'll do it later. Sorry,

1119
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 1: goes wow, real convenient, you demon.

1120
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:17,719
Speaker 7: Yeah, also to the six months and then let's take

1121
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 7: family photos.

1122
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, weird, weird energy.

1123
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 7: I told her that she needed to be respectful or

1124
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 7: I wouldn't help her, and of course she started making threats.

1125
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 7: She told me that she would have my phone number deleted.

1126
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:33,560
Speaker 7: She put my phone number on her data plan four

1127
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:36,400
Speaker 7: years ago after I asked her not to because I

1128
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 7: wanted to switch it to my own. However, she insisted

1129
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 7: on getting me a data plan that would end up

1130
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 7: saving money. I told her that if she put my

1131
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 7: phone number on another data plan instead of helping me

1132
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:49,359
Speaker 7: switch it over, I wasn't going to pay for it,

1133
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 7: and she said that was fine, But now suddenly she

1134
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:55,919
Speaker 7: could use it as a threat. So after multiple days

1135
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:57,800
Speaker 7: of stalling, I was able to get my phone number

1136
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 7: transferred over to my account. She kept the data plan

1137
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,400
Speaker 7: and it will not mess with her rates and my

1138
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 7: phone number is still mine. After telling her this, she

1139
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,720
Speaker 7: absolutely lost it, so I told her not to contact

1140
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,640
Speaker 7: me anymore unless there was an emergency or someone was

1141
00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:15,240
Speaker 7: in the hospital. She sent me a couple of angry

1142
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 7: texts with loose threats like I hope you won't need me,

1143
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 7: but I know better. And I haven't heard from her since.

1144
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,919
Speaker 7: Now Here's where I need help figuring out if I'm

1145
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 7: the ale. A couple of days later, I went to

1146
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,960
Speaker 7: the hospital to have a minor surgery schedule. Instead, the

1147
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:36,880
Speaker 7: doctor did it immediately, but completely butchered this minor surgery

1148
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 7: on my leg. Five days later, I went back complaining

1149
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 7: of severe pain, and this doctor continued to brush me

1150
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 7: off and ignore me. Five days after that, I was

1151
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 7: hospitalized with a staph infection. Sue that doctor. I had

1152
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 7: a whole bunch of other issues arise, and I was

1153
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:56,759
Speaker 7: in the hospital for ten days. And it's not like

1154
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,880
Speaker 7: I didn't tell anybody. My boyfriend's entire side of the

1155
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 7: family knew I was in the hospital, even family that

1156
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 7: I wasn't close with. I decided that someone on my

1157
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 7: side of the family should probably know, so I called

1158
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:11,200
Speaker 7: my grandma. She asked me if I was going to

1159
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 7: tell my mother, and I told her no and explain

1160
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 7: why it was so complicated. She told me I was

1161
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,319
Speaker 7: being silly and I needed to be an adult and

1162
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:23,799
Speaker 7: tell her because that's what adults do. Adults do whatever

1163
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:26,360
Speaker 7: they want. Oh, he doesn't have to call her mom,

1164
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:27,320
Speaker 7: she's an adult.

1165
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:28,800
Speaker 1: She's an adult.

1166
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:31,640
Speaker 7: After a bit more back and forth, she dropped it.

1167
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:34,160
Speaker 7: I asked her not to tell them since my little

1168
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:36,480
Speaker 7: sister's birthday was the next day and I didn't want

1169
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:39,359
Speaker 7: her to worry on her birthday. She argued and told

1170
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:42,960
Speaker 7: them anyway. Throughout my hospital stay, I was constantly giving

1171
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 7: my grandmother updates every time. She would tell me I

1172
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 7: needed to contact my mother and tell her I was

1173
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 7: in the hospital. And when I told her that talking

1174
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,440
Speaker 7: to my mother was the last thing I wanted to

1175
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 7: do while I was high on pain medication and the

1176
00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:59,560
Speaker 7: argument was still fresh, she told me I needed to

1177
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:02,360
Speaker 7: be in adult and do the adult thing. She would

1178
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:03,640
Speaker 7: not let this go.

1179
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 1: But my mother is also an adult. Is why.

1180
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 7: The adult also the adult thing here is for you

1181
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:16,800
Speaker 7: to stop telling me what to do. Because I'm an adult.

1182
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 1: I'm an adult.

1183
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 7: You can't boss me around. But that's why I called her.

1184
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 7: I did inform somebody. I did do the adult thing

1185
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:27,880
Speaker 7: and told people I was in the hospital. And because

1186
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 7: she told my mother and my sisters, they already knew.

1187
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:33,400
Speaker 7: But for some reason, I guess I didn't tell the

1188
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 7: right people. I understand that my condition was serious. Three

1189
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 7: CT scans on oxygen, had a tube put in my

1190
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 7: back and into my kidney, staph infections and e coli,

1191
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 7: et cetera. So maybe I should have contacted her despite everything.

1192
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 7: So am I the a hole for not breaking no

1193
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:57,239
Speaker 7: contact with my mother to tell her I was in

1194
00:53:57,239 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 7: the hospital and there is an update? No, you're no

1195
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 7: contact with your mother. You told your grandmother and she

1196
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,479
Speaker 7: told mom, so your mom knows she could come visit

1197
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 7: you if she really cared.

1198
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,360
Speaker 3: She just kind of whack for your grandma to be like,

1199
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:13,800
Speaker 3: now is the time you need to reconcile and deal

1200
00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:14,280
Speaker 3: with your.

1201
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 1: Mom while you're in the hospital with a tube in

1202
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 1: your kidney. What?

1203
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,279
Speaker 7: No, but there is an update. So before and after

1204
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 7: posting this, I was debating telling my family group chat

1205
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,560
Speaker 7: about my hospital stay since my uncle's wedding is in

1206
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:29,800
Speaker 7: a couple of weeks and I don't want the shock

1207
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 7: of seeing my cane to take away attention from his wedding.

1208
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:36,239
Speaker 7: I didn't want that attention on his day. And I

1209
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:38,880
Speaker 7: love my uncles. I'm not crazy close with them, but

1210
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 7: never had an issue with them or their partners.

1211
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:42,360
Speaker 1: We have no drama.

1212
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:44,880
Speaker 7: So I sent a short gist of my hospital stay

1213
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:49,440
Speaker 7: recovery and mention the cane. I didn't mention crazy details,

1214
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:52,439
Speaker 7: just that my doctor messed up. I was there ten

1215
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 7: days and I'm better. My uncle's cousins and aunts in

1216
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:59,480
Speaker 7: laws all said they were sorry to hear I was sick. Yes,

1217
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:02,239
Speaker 7: my mother and sisters are in the chat. My mother

1218
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:05,920
Speaker 7: hasn't said anything. My nana sent me and my boyfriend

1219
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:07,800
Speaker 7: a private message in a group chat with just the

1220
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:10,400
Speaker 7: three of us to say she doesn't agree with the

1221
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 7: way I announced it. You can't win, opie. You literally

1222
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 7: told you do the adult thing quote unquote and tell

1223
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:21,360
Speaker 7: people and your grandma's to like. No, it just didn't

1224
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,480
Speaker 7: have enough pozzaz, I was wrong.

1225
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 1: You said it wrong.

1226
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 7: She said that the right thing to do would be

1227
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 7: to message my mother and tell her the details and

1228
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:33,480
Speaker 7: say I'm sorry I didn't tell her sooner. She told

1229
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:35,399
Speaker 7: me I didn't have to answer again if my mother

1230
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:39,000
Speaker 7: replied well, making it clear she still thinks it's stupid.

1231
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 7: I'm cutting off my mother. I'm gonna stay no contact

1232
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 7: with my mother and am considering who I should put

1233
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 7: on low to no contact with me, since depending on

1234
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 7: who I choose, it would affect all my other family relationships.

1235
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:53,880
Speaker 7: I already have to see my mother at family gatherings,

1236
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:57,239
Speaker 7: which is fine since they almost never happened, but I

1237
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,240
Speaker 7: almost definitely never see anyone if I extend the list.

1238
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:03,840
Speaker 7: It's a lot to think about. And there is a

1239
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 7: second update. But do you have any thoughts?

1240
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 3: It is a lot to think about. Yeah, I guess

1241
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:11,719
Speaker 3: think about it.

1242
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 7: I guess. Yeah, figure out who you want to keep

1243
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 7: in touch with, who are like people that if you

1244
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 7: don't keep in touch with them, you lose even more people.

1245
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:22,200
Speaker 7: You gotta think about the politics.

1246
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:26,160
Speaker 3: I guess you know it should be simple politics though,

1247
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,800
Speaker 3: just being like my mom literally gave me the silent

1248
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:32,839
Speaker 3: treatment like a teenage girl for a year, for a year,

1249
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:36,640
Speaker 3: then reach back out to me, immediately accused me of

1250
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:43,200
Speaker 3: being a trickster. Yeah, and now like again, didn't really

1251
00:56:43,239 --> 00:56:44,560
Speaker 3: care that I was in the hospital.

1252
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:48,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, didn't need any apps to go visit OPI or

1253
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 7: say anything see how she is.

1254
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like she was power playing, Like, well

1255
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:53,040
Speaker 3: she should reach out to me.

1256
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:53,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1257
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, you don't need to contact that person

1258
00:56:56,680 --> 00:56:59,080
Speaker 3: and sue that doctor that gave you like sepsis and

1259
00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:00,719
Speaker 3: like kidney coal i.

1260
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,960
Speaker 7: Col i he put depart no, no, no staph infection.

1261
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:05,719
Speaker 1: Oh.

1262
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 7: Update two, I've had a lot of people tell me

1263
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 7: I should cut off my uncles and not go to

1264
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:14,200
Speaker 7: the wedding because they never defended me. I won't do that,

1265
00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:17,439
Speaker 7: but here's why. Well, they never actually went to bat

1266
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 7: for me. I get why. My mother is very manipulative

1267
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 7: and made it look like I was a troubled child

1268
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 7: my whole life. And it's hard to argue with a

1269
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:28,520
Speaker 7: self absorbed person when you don't know they are self absorbed,

1270
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 7: especially when they all lived three hours away from us

1271
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:34,320
Speaker 7: and we barely saw them. But my uncles have seen

1272
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,960
Speaker 7: through it in the past. But there is a little

1273
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:39,520
Speaker 7: bit left to the story. Any final thoughts.

1274
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 1: Do it feels right in your heart?

1275
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:43,960
Speaker 7: Do it feels right you don't? You know, you don't

1276
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,680
Speaker 7: owe your mom anything. She's kind of made you feel

1277
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 7: guilty for everything your whole life. Just have the amount

1278
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 7: of contact that you think you can handle. My uncle

1279
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 7: getting married is only a couple of years older than

1280
00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 7: I am four to five years older and absolutely sell

1281
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,920
Speaker 7: rates when I tell my achievements. My middle uncle is

1282
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:05,600
Speaker 7: the only one that understands that my eight pets are

1283
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:08,440
Speaker 7: family and doesn't hate them and even loves them, Unlike

1284
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:11,320
Speaker 7: my mother and grandmother. He's also the uncle that offered

1285
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:13,840
Speaker 7: to give me a substance test to help me prove

1286
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:16,880
Speaker 7: my innocence when I was sixteen or seventeen against my

1287
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:21,240
Speaker 7: mother's allegations and lies about me doing substances. My oldest

1288
00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:23,440
Speaker 7: uncle has always tried to level with me and hear

1289
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 7: my side of things. While rare, it helped me in

1290
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 7: dark times. I won't be cutting them off because they

1291
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 7: are the best of my blood relatives and they have

1292
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:33,920
Speaker 7: never given me a reason to not want them around.

1293
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 7: I can also tell they are on their own kinds

1294
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 7: of healing journeys and are good people. They've done more

1295
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:43,320
Speaker 7: good than my own dad ever did. Good luck be

1296
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 7: with your mom, and hopefully you can kind of limit

1297
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:49,479
Speaker 7: contact with your mom and grandma cause uh, they think

1298
00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:52,960
Speaker 7: they know how to, you know, run your life, U

1299
00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:56,360
Speaker 7: and you just got to say no, no, no. I'm

1300
00:58:56,400 --> 00:58:58,640
Speaker 7: making the choices here because it's my life.

1301
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:02,920
Speaker 1: And here the new sheriff in town. Also, I've been

1302
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:04,360
Speaker 1: the sheriff this whole time.