Speaker 1: There have been years, maybe two years in the eleven
Speaker 1: that I haven't posted my mom for December ninth, the
Speaker 1: day of my mom's passing, and I would get grabbed
Speaker 1: for it. I was at some award shows where I
Speaker 1: sang for my mom and I saw in a comment
Speaker 1: they were like, Oh, is she just like always going
Speaker 1: to do this for her mom? I was like, what,
Speaker 1: that is so ridiculous. In the Latin culture, you have
Speaker 1: to respect the first month or months and don't listen
Speaker 1: to music, and I get that. My thing is, however,
Speaker 1: you want to grieve, no one should judge you for that.
Speaker 1: What up, guys, Welcome to another episode of Chee's and Chill.
Speaker 1: Today actually marks the last Cheeze and Chill episode of
Speaker 1: the season, and then we'll be back in early twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four, so don't be too sad you guys. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for coming along with me on this journey.
Speaker 1: I've had so many great moments and wonderful discussions here
Speaker 1: on my pot and I hope you'll join me for
Speaker 1: another season. So with that being said, today this episode
Speaker 1: is going to be a solo episode. I want to
Speaker 1: talk to you about the pressures of grieving publicly. If
Speaker 1: you've lost someone, you probably know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: There's this pressure to feel a certain way or act
Speaker 1: a certain way, and I want to talk about that
Speaker 1: just a little bit more. So let's get into it.
Speaker 1: This is Cheeky's and chill. Okay, So some of you
Speaker 1: might already know this, but Saturday marked the eleventh anniversary
Speaker 1: of my mom. January Vera is passing eleven freaking years.
Speaker 1: You guys, I swear, I'm like, how when how did
Speaker 1: I get here? You know what I mean? Like, I'm
Speaker 1: like eleven years already, and there are times when it
Speaker 1: feels like forever, and then most of the time it
Speaker 1: feels like it was just yesterday. It's the craziest thing
Speaker 1: because when I sit there and think everything that I've
Speaker 1: gone through and that I've had to deal with or
Speaker 1: face without my mom, it trips me out still to
Speaker 1: this day. And I think that day, December ninth, the
Speaker 1: day of my mom's passing, is more to be with
Speaker 1: my siblings more than anything. And there are years, there
Speaker 1: has been year should I say where Mikey, my brother,
Speaker 1: or even Jenica. Some of us just want to be alone,
Speaker 1: don't necessarily want to be together. They want to do
Speaker 1: their own thing, and I've had to learn to respect
Speaker 1: that because in the beginning years, we had this thing
Speaker 1: of like, let's all be together and we you know,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to remove that pressure because we already
Speaker 1: have so much pressure I feel publicly with my mom's passing.
Speaker 1: And this is exactly why I want to talk about this,
Speaker 1: because there have been years, maybe two years in the
Speaker 1: eleven that I haven't posted my mom for December ninth,
Speaker 1: and I would get crab for it. People would talk shit,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, what the hell Like Now, I
Speaker 1: don't care. Now, I'm just like, if I feel it,
Speaker 1: if I wake up in the morning and I feel
Speaker 1: it on that day, I'm going to do it. Times
Speaker 1: that i'll feel it later in the day. There are
Speaker 1: times that I'll feel it at three o'clock in the
Speaker 1: morning December ninth, and I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna post it.
Speaker 1: And there are times where I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I just want to deal with this on my own
Speaker 1: and not feel the pressure of like what I have
Speaker 1: to write or what picture I'm going to choose, or
Speaker 1: trying to please everyone else. Like I really go based
Speaker 1: off of my feelings and what feels right to me.
Speaker 1: I love to be true to myself in that way
Speaker 1: and removing the exterior comments and judgment that sometimes we feel.
Speaker 1: And that's what I want to do with my siblings,
Speaker 1: because when we were closer to my extended family before
Speaker 1: it was a thing, it was like, Okay, that's we're
Speaker 1: gonna do something super big and special, and it was
Speaker 1: just it became like a lot. It became like something
Speaker 1: that we had to do publicly for other people versus
Speaker 1: just something that we don't even know how we're going
Speaker 1: to feel that day, you know, and especially in the
Speaker 1: beginning years twenty thirteen, twenty fourteen, twenty fifteen, like I
Speaker 1: felt personally, and I speak for myself. My siblings have
Speaker 1: mentioned certain things, but I don't want to speak for them,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to tell you how I felt. I
Speaker 1: felt like I couldn't be happy on December night, Like
Speaker 1: I could not smile, Like I had to be on
Speaker 1: social media and be sad. I had to just be sad,
Speaker 1: even if I wasn't necessarily feeling sad. I mean, obviously
Speaker 1: I woke up and I'm like, damn, today was the
Speaker 1: day A year ago, two years ago, three years ago
Speaker 1: that my mom passed, and of course it would hurt,
Speaker 1: but it was like someone says something funny and I
Speaker 1: would laugh, and then I'm like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: shouldn't be laughing. I shouldn't be listening to music. I
Speaker 1: should be crying. Why why am I not crying? I
Speaker 1: would ask myself that, and then I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 1: why do I feel this way? And I started realizing
Speaker 1: that it was because of other people's pressure that I
Speaker 1: was allowing to affect me. Until I said, if this
Speaker 1: this is my mom, and if I feel like posting
Speaker 1: her on August second, let's say, then that's okay. If
Speaker 1: I feel like dedicating her another song, why not because
Speaker 1: just the other day. And the reason I'm saying that
Speaker 1: this is because I was at some award shows the
Speaker 1: Latin billboards where I sing and had a Noma nah
Speaker 1: for for my mom, and you know, it was Kali
Speaker 1: and Los Rastianez and I saw in a comment somewhere.
Speaker 1: There were all beautiful comments, thank goodness, but there was
Speaker 1: that one comment that I came across that usually I ignore,
Speaker 1: but they were like, oh, is she just like always
Speaker 1: going to do this for her mom? Like she just
Speaker 1: always my mom. She's always doing tributes for her mom.
Speaker 1: I was like, I almost responded, and I was like, bitch,
Speaker 1: what that is so ridiculous for someone to even say,
Speaker 1: Like even if my mom wasn't a famous person and
Speaker 1: I was still a singer and my mom wasn't I
Speaker 1: have the right to sing my mom a song every
Speaker 1: single day of my life if I wanted to. If
Speaker 1: I want to have a tribute an altar, and I
Speaker 1: don't I want to post I want to talk about
Speaker 1: my mom. That is my business and it is my right,
Speaker 1: and that is my mom and I can do as
Speaker 1: I please. I was just more dumbfounded by this person,
Speaker 1: like how what that is such a ridiculous thing to
Speaker 1: say that. I'm like, why wouldn't I? Why would I not?
Speaker 1: Especially because my mom is a famous person, I could
Speaker 1: and I should, and it's my right, it's my you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like it just really bothered me.
Speaker 1: So anyways, that's why I was talking about that, and
Speaker 1: this year I wanted to post something happier, just because
Speaker 1: so much has happened. I'm so grateful for what's happened
Speaker 1: in my life and that I'm in a good place
Speaker 1: right now. To be honest, and yes, I miss my mother.
Speaker 1: Of course I miss my mother, But it went from
Speaker 1: grieving her death to celebrating her freedom. And I know
Speaker 1: that sounds weird, but it's she graduated to a much better,
Speaker 1: a peaceful life, eternal life. She's not here having to
Speaker 1: deal with certain things. And I'm happy for her because
Speaker 1: she would be so disappointed, you guys, to see certain
Speaker 1: people that she loved and that I'm sure love her,
Speaker 1: but something changed throughout the years. I don't know, to
Speaker 1: see some of the shit that they're doing and saying
Speaker 1: is so disappointing. Like I always say, I'm like, damn,
Speaker 1: if my mom was here, oh my goodness, she would
Speaker 1: put these mobuckles in their place, you know. So it's like,
Speaker 1: I'm happy for her. She's not dealing with all this.
Speaker 1: She's in peace, she's resting. So I went from oh
Speaker 1: my god, I miss my mom and yes, cause I do.
Speaker 1: I miss her. There are times where I randomly am
Speaker 1: driving and I'm just like, oh my gosh, I cannot
Speaker 1: believe I don't have my mom here. Like it's a trip.
Speaker 1: I can't even explain it, but it just comes to
Speaker 1: me out of nowhere, and it's happened to me a
Speaker 1: handful of times where I'm like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: get like a little anxiety attack and I'm like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: like my mom's not here, Like this really happened, like
Speaker 1: she passed away in an aeroplane. Like when you really
Speaker 1: think about it and you say it out loud and
Speaker 1: how things ended, it's like, what the hell, Thank you God,
Speaker 1: by your grace and your favor. I am still standing
Speaker 1: on my two feet and doing my damn thing. And
Speaker 1: I'm proud of myself for that. And I owe it
Speaker 1: to my mom because I know because she taught me,
Speaker 1: first of all, while she was here physically, to work,
Speaker 1: to be strong, to be resilient, to have courage, to
Speaker 1: be honest, to be unapologetically yourself. She taught me so
Speaker 1: many things, things that she would talk to me about,
Speaker 1: but also her actions that I'm like, I owe it
Speaker 1: to her. I owe it to God that I'm still here.
Speaker 1: And I know that now that she's not here physically,
Speaker 1: that's what she taught me physically when she was here,
Speaker 1: you know, in her body now, her spirit in heaven,
Speaker 1: I feel is helping me so much and is blessing
Speaker 1: my life and my career in so many different ways.
Speaker 1: Like I know it's her and God, Like I know
Speaker 1: she's not only helping me, but my siblings. I see it.
Speaker 1: She's given us all the strength. Like my mom really
Speaker 1: raised some badass children. And I say that with a
Speaker 1: lot of pride because I feel like, Okay, I also helped,
Speaker 1: But to see my siblings stand in their own and
Speaker 1: do their thing, each and every single one of them,
Speaker 1: I'm just so proud because life dealt us a pretty
Speaker 1: heavy hand, and we do our best to honor her
Speaker 1: and every way that we possibly can. And I'm glad
Speaker 1: that we all got to a point where we're really
Speaker 1: honoring ourselves as well and our feelings and not feeling
Speaker 1: the pressures of the world or media or even my
Speaker 1: mom's fans to say, oh, well, why aren't you doing
Speaker 1: this and why don't you do that. It's like, wait,
Speaker 1: Like we have the right to grieve or to celebrate
Speaker 1: my mom in any way that we want. Last year,
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty two, on December ninth, I usually have
Speaker 1: like a team Thrive party or a Christmas party celebration
Speaker 1: for my team, and last year I did it on
Speaker 1: December ninth. I said, you know what, I want to
Speaker 1: have my team. I want to have everyone that's been
Speaker 1: a part of my career this year and I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for and I'm grateful with and I'm very you know, appreciative,
Speaker 1: and my siblings all in one place and we're going
Speaker 1: to have a party and we're going to see what happens.
Speaker 1: You guys have no idea. The amount of people that
Speaker 1: were like, I cannot believe Chiki's that you're having a
Speaker 1: party on your mom's tenth year anniversary. And I was like, what,
Speaker 1: like a lot of comments and thank goodness, I don't
Speaker 1: know what's happened in the past few years where I'm
Speaker 1: just like me, I don't care what people have to
Speaker 1: say anymore, Like I really truly mean it. Sometimes I'm
Speaker 1: just like what you know it? It kind of like
Speaker 1: trips me out. But that time I was like, why not.
Speaker 1: Why can't I celebrate my mom and have a big
Speaker 1: ass party and celebrate her life, everything that she taught us,
Speaker 1: the platform that she left for me, for my siblings,
Speaker 1: for other women in the genre, for other just artists
Speaker 1: in the in the genre, even if they're men, Like
Speaker 1: my mom did so much and left her mark on
Speaker 1: earth that I can't cry every single year. I shouldn't.
Speaker 1: That's like dishonoring her. The way to honor her legacy
Speaker 1: is to celebrate the woman that she is, that she
Speaker 1: was and that she will forever be. And if I
Speaker 1: want to have abanda to celebrate her and take some
Speaker 1: shots with my civil to do that, and if I cry,
Speaker 1: then I cry. And if I'm happy, I'm happy and
Speaker 1: I'm smiling, and that's okay. Before it was okay, everyone
Speaker 1: has to wear black at a funeral. That's the way
Speaker 1: you grieve, and that's the way you show that you're sad.
Speaker 1: Now I've seen more and more people wear white. And
Speaker 1: that's what we did our entire family for my mom,
Speaker 1: because we're like, you know what, we believe in God,
Speaker 1: and we believe that she's going to heaven and we
Speaker 1: believe that she's going to a much better place. So
Speaker 1: we're going to wear white. And some people criticize then
Speaker 1: criticize that, and was like, oh my god, I can't
Speaker 1: believe they're wearing white. Are they happy that she's gone?
Speaker 1: It's like, no, it has nothing to do with that.
Speaker 1: It's just honoring the person's legacy. So I just wanted
Speaker 1: to see if any of you guys, if I feel
Speaker 1: this way, if you guys have felt that way, because
Speaker 1: in the Latin culture that you have to respect the
Speaker 1: first month or months and don't listen to music. And
Speaker 1: I get that because honestly, it all goes on how
Speaker 1: you're feeling, you know what I mean. Like my thing is,
Speaker 1: however you want to grieve, however you want to celebrate
Speaker 1: the person's life, even if they're no longer here. No
Speaker 1: one should judge you for that. Go based off what
Speaker 1: you feel in the moment, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But I know traditionally it's you know, no, don't go dancing,
Speaker 1: no skuches musika, don't listen to music, don't wear certain
Speaker 1: colors like don't show your happiness in any way. And
Speaker 1: I don't know if I necessarily agree with that. When
Speaker 1: my mom passed, it was such a big passing that
Speaker 1: I obviously was. It was really really hard, so there
Speaker 1: were certain things that didn't feel right, just I didn't
Speaker 1: feel like it was natural or whatever. But now as
Speaker 1: the years have gone by, I see it differently. I
Speaker 1: see it like I'm explaining to you guys, she has graduated,
Speaker 1: and not just say it, but really really mean it
Speaker 1: and really feel it and visualize her in a happy place,
Speaker 1: and that makes me happy. That gives me peace to
Speaker 1: know that, Okay, wherever she is, she's in peace, and
Speaker 1: I know she's okay with me smiling and being happy
Speaker 1: and being grateful, you know, for everything that has happened.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with that. And I've I've sat after
Speaker 1: I've read certain comments, especially the ones having to do
Speaker 1: with with my mom and her passing and stuff, and
Speaker 1: I wonder, I'm like, I wonder if they've ever lost anyone,
Speaker 1: I mean, or why do they feel they have the
Speaker 1: right to judge me. I think, you know what, maybe
Speaker 1: they haven't lost anyone, and that's good. I hope, I
Speaker 1: hope they don't. I hope they don't ever feel that pain.
Speaker 1: And now that it's been eleven years, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: telling you, it's it's it's different every single day, it's
Speaker 1: different every single year. But I just I don't appreciate
Speaker 1: those type of comments because unless you've been through something
Speaker 1: like this, losing someone, then I feel like you have
Speaker 1: no right to judge, you know what I mean. Everyone's
Speaker 1: entitled to an opinion, but with something like this, it's
Speaker 1: just like dude, like, just be quiet, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, don't if you have nothing nice to say,
Speaker 1: don't say it at all. Like I just don't understand
Speaker 1: people that sit there and write negative things, Like I
Speaker 1: just don't get it. Honestly, I would never go on
Speaker 1: someone's page and write something negative unless it's something that
Speaker 1: I don't agree with, you know what I mean, that's
Speaker 1: something I don't know, something crazy, Like for instance, when
Speaker 1: I saw someone post a video of Nipsey Hustle like
Speaker 1: being shot and killed and he was lying on the floor, like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, why would you post this video? I did
Speaker 1: say that. I commented, I'm like, why would you post this?
Speaker 1: Like he has children, he has a wife, he had
Speaker 1: Like this is not okay, this is not okay. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I would never want someone posting like something
Speaker 1: like that about my mom or stuff that happened the
Speaker 1: day or just because people did post that and I
Speaker 1: was horrible to see and I just I remember how
Speaker 1: I felt so when they did that and I saw
Speaker 1: Nipsey Hustle, you know, like, I was like, this is
Speaker 1: not cool. So I followed that person and it wasn't
Speaker 1: necessarily a negative comment. It was just like, dude, this
Speaker 1: isn't good. Like I'm unfollowing you, this isn't cool. So
Speaker 1: now that the years have gone by and I've matured,
Speaker 1: now I do as I please, and not in a
Speaker 1: messed up way or in a disrespectful way, not at all.
Speaker 1: But now I'm like, I choose to see and to
Speaker 1: celebrate my mom for everything that she was and that
Speaker 1: she still is in my life and all the lessons
Speaker 1: that she taught me and the beautiful memories that we
Speaker 1: had together. There are so many, you guys, there's so many.
Speaker 1: For instance, I miss so much. And this is when
Speaker 1: I was a lot younger. I was like ten, twelve,
Speaker 1: even fourteen. My mom had this thing that she would
Speaker 1: drive my sister and I and her sister and I
Speaker 1: would work at this Marisco place selling CDs, and after
Speaker 1: she would pick us up or whatnot. If we sold
Speaker 1: a lot, like, we would celebrate the whole thing, and
Speaker 1: she would like, okay, you guys, here's the red light.
Speaker 1: We'd be in the car right She's like, there's a
Speaker 1: red light, and she's like, get off and dance. So
Speaker 1: we would as soon as we hit the red light,
Speaker 1: no matter if there were a bunch of cars or
Speaker 1: no cars, Like she would make us go out and
Speaker 1: dance and jump in the car right before or right
Speaker 1: when the light turned green, and like stuff like that
Speaker 1: that I feel like, I wish people would just see
Speaker 1: the human side of her and how many beautiful things
Speaker 1: and funny things and crazy shit that she would make
Speaker 1: us do. I mean even like we would go like
Speaker 1: people's houses, you guys, Like, obviously that's super frowned upon today,
Speaker 1: but like there was someone that would be messing with her,
Speaker 1: or you know, something something going on, whatever it may be,
Speaker 1: and she would say, okay, grab a carton eggs. She
Speaker 1: would take us to the liquor store, get a curtain
Speaker 1: of eggs, and go just bomb these people's houses and cars,
Speaker 1: you guys. I think about it, I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: my mom would not get away with half of the
Speaker 1: stuff that she would say and she would do, or
Speaker 1: we would do because she would make us do it,
Speaker 1: or like hey, you know, like come on, let's just
Speaker 1: do this, and we just wanted to make her happy
Speaker 1: and it was fun. I'm not gonna lie, but it
Speaker 1: wouldn't fly nowadays, it just wouldn't fly. But we had
Speaker 1: so many beautiful memories and I choose to say, you
Speaker 1: know what, instead of being sad, instead of thinking of
Speaker 1: the things that happen and where maybe she fell short,
Speaker 1: you know, because she wasn't a perfect mother, And that's okay,
Speaker 1: Like I'm okay with like I have forgiven her for
Speaker 1: certain things my siblings and I, but more than anything,
Speaker 1: she was a mother that did her best that even
Speaker 1: though she was a single mother, and sometimes I didn't
Speaker 1: even know that she couldn't make ends meet, but we
Speaker 1: didn't know that there was always food on our table,
Speaker 1: you know, like we made it happen. She made it
Speaker 1: happen in any way that she possibly could. And I'm
Speaker 1: so grateful, and now that's what it is. I'm just
Speaker 1: grateful and with her with everything she taught me, whether
Speaker 1: it was a hard lesson or not, for my siblings,
Speaker 1: for just so much, you guys, and like I said,
Speaker 1: so much, so many doors that she has helped me
Speaker 1: open from heaven. And I know it's her and I
Speaker 1: know it sounds crazy, but she speaks to me, you guys,
Speaker 1: through music, and it's happened to me a handful of
Speaker 1: times where I'm sad and I'm thinking about her, and
Speaker 1: I swear to you my car, or like I'm listening
Speaker 1: to Pandora or some type of music app and a
Speaker 1: song comes on and I swear to you, it's like,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's how she next with me. It's
Speaker 1: it's crazy. It's just I know she's here, and I
Speaker 1: know she has shown me in so many ways that
Speaker 1: she is here with me, and not to be sad.
Speaker 1: If I feel like crying, it's okay to cry, let
Speaker 1: it out, cleanse your soul. Crying is good to cleanse
Speaker 1: your soul. You guys, but they don't want us. Our
Speaker 1: loved ones that have passed, don't want us to sit
Speaker 1: here and keep crying for them and missing them. They
Speaker 1: want us to move on and to be happy and
Speaker 1: to live our life and to honor them in that way.
Speaker 1: And even my mom's song Kuna Mom, she states it
Speaker 1: that she wants her kids to sit there with their
Speaker 1: head held high and show the world the kids that
Speaker 1: she raised. And that's what we're doing. And if some
Speaker 1: people don't agree with that, that's okay. And if some
Speaker 1: people don't agree with the way you want to grieve
Speaker 1: for your loved one that passed, who cares what people say?
Speaker 1: Get you grieve the way that you feel is best
Speaker 1: in however it is that you want to grieve the person.
Speaker 1: But also I will tell you because you know, there
Speaker 1: are seven stages you guys, in the grieving process. Don't
Speaker 1: get stuck in one for too long. I understand being sad.
Speaker 1: I get all of that, you guys, And this is
Speaker 1: for someone that has lost someone recently. Allow yourself to
Speaker 1: go through these stages, okay, which are shock and denial,
Speaker 1: pain and guilt, anger and bargaining, depression and acceptance. And
Speaker 1: believe me, it was tough because my mom and I,
Speaker 1: as you guys some of you may know, we weren't
Speaker 1: on the best terms when she passed. So I was
Speaker 1: very angry for a while. But that did me no good.
Speaker 1: It was a disservice actually, So through therapy, through reading books,
Speaker 1: through church, through my faith, through my siblings, because they
Speaker 1: helped me out a lot, and understanding that God has
Speaker 1: a plan and really trusting that it helped me remove
Speaker 1: the anger, accept the pain, endure the pain, embrace the pain,
Speaker 1: and also let it go. You have to know when
Speaker 1: to let it go and just say, if I keep
Speaker 1: holding onto this, I'm not letting this person rest. I'm
Speaker 1: not letting myself rest. I'm not allowing myself to grow
Speaker 1: because resentment, pain, guilt, holding onto all that stuff, you guys,
Speaker 1: does you no good. If anything, it keeps you from
Speaker 1: becoming your best self. But allow yourself to go through
Speaker 1: because you're going to. It's inevitable to not go through
Speaker 1: these when you've lost someone. But always maintain your faith
Speaker 1: and always think of them for the good things, even
Speaker 1: if there were bad things, because there's none of us,
Speaker 1: none of us are perfect. But always do your best
Speaker 1: to honor the person and think of the positive things
Speaker 1: and the beautiful things that you lived with them, and
Speaker 1: that will also help you not get over it, because
Speaker 1: it's honestly, it's a wound that will never be completely healed.
Speaker 1: It becomes a scar, and it's a scar that you
Speaker 1: live with and that you're like, Okay, thank goodness, is
Speaker 1: no longer an open wound. It's a scar that helps
Speaker 1: me remember this person. But if you keep picking at
Speaker 1: that wound, it's never gonna heal. You get me, So
Speaker 1: it's like, it'll also help you heal by thinking of
Speaker 1: all those beautiful things that you live with the person.
Speaker 1: That's my piece of advice. I know every situation is different,
Speaker 1: but don't stay stuck too long in the pain and
Speaker 1: in the guilt or losing the person. Like God has
Speaker 1: a plan. And I know when you're in the thick
Speaker 1: of things and the thick of it, it's so hard
Speaker 1: to see it. Believe me, I have been there, I know,
Speaker 1: but I thank God that I'm no longer there because
Speaker 1: it was. It made me tired, It made me look old,
Speaker 1: it made me feel old, It made me sick, It
Speaker 1: made me gain weight, so many things. It was so
Speaker 1: much toxicity that I was keeping in my body, even
Speaker 1: having that bot tos s heat, that mindset, remember that
Speaker 1: botas heat, that mindset attitude that we were talking about
Speaker 1: on a few episodes back, that I was going through
Speaker 1: that like, oh my god, I can't believe this happened
Speaker 1: to me. H my goodness, like blaming everyone else and
Speaker 1: instead of looking within myself and saying, okay, wait, what
Speaker 1: could I have done differently? Okay? Cool? What am I
Speaker 1: going to learn from this? Like I was really like
Speaker 1: poor me the whole thing, Like I can't believe this,
Speaker 1: this is my life and how it was left. And
Speaker 1: I was mad at my mom and it was just
Speaker 1: not cute. You guys, so it's like you got to
Speaker 1: shake that shit off and just see the person for
Speaker 1: what they were and the light that they were and
Speaker 1: will continue to be if you allow them to be
Speaker 1: in your life. So now it's like I have an
Speaker 1: angel in heaven watching over me, and I feel like
Speaker 1: she's not here physically, but she's here with me, and
Speaker 1: she's helping me more than she could have helped me
Speaker 1: if she was here physically. Does that make sense? So,
Speaker 1: you guys, I just felt in my heart that I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk a little bit about this, about grieving
Speaker 1: and how we all react different to it, especially since
Speaker 1: I had read that comment underneath my performance from the
Speaker 1: Latin bill Boards. And I hope that in some way
Speaker 1: it helps you and it touches your heart and allows
Speaker 1: you to just feel whatever it is that you're feeling
Speaker 1: and not letting anyone else affect that. I hope that
Speaker 1: you enjoyed this episode. It makes me sad but also
Speaker 1: very excited that, well, thanks to you guys, we have
Speaker 1: had two seasons of Chickens and Chill. So it makes
Speaker 1: me sad because we're ending one season, but you guys
Speaker 1: are coming with me on the next season because we're
Speaker 1: gonna have a third season of Cheekis and Chill, so
Speaker 1: I'm just excited. Thank you guys for being with me again.
Speaker 1: I know I said it on the top of the episode,
Speaker 1: but still, thank you guys. I love you guys so much.
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful. You have no idea. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: And it just makes me feel good that I'm able
Speaker 1: to use this platform to help to inspire, to empower
Speaker 1: in any way. It also helps me. It's a note
Speaker 1: to myself. It reminds me of things that I have
Speaker 1: to do myself, you know, because life just gets crazy
Speaker 1: sometimes and you fall back and you're like, wait a second.
Speaker 1: So it helps me stay accountable. So thank you guys
Speaker 1: for allowing me to express myself here and talk about
Speaker 1: so many different things. I love you, guys, And before
Speaker 1: I go, you know that I always have a motivational
Speaker 1: quote for you. The quote for today is when we
Speaker 1: lose someone we love, we must learn not to live
Speaker 1: without them, but to live with the love they left behind.
Speaker 1: And that's what it is. That's exactly what we talked about.
Speaker 1: So you guys, I love you. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I can't say it enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. Thank you. I love you with all my heart.
Speaker 1: I'm sending you all a big hug. Please have a
Speaker 1: safe new Year. Wherever you're at, where you're seatbuilt, don't
Speaker 1: drink and drive, have fun, look sexy, put on your car.
Speaker 1: That's for love. And then if you wear your little
Speaker 1: yellow underwear, it's for abundance. Light your candle, saved your house,
Speaker 1: the whole thing. You guys, have a beautiful new year.
Speaker 1: I'm wishing you all a wonderful, beautiful, amazing, prosperous, healing,
Speaker 1: you know, successful new Year twenty twenty four. I love you, guys,
Speaker 1: and I'll see you on the next one. Okay, twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four. Chickens and Chill Season three, what's up? I
Speaker 1: love you bestos do you need advice on love, relationship,
Speaker 1: health emails. I'm so excited to share with you that
Speaker 1: my Cheeky's and Chill podcast will have an extra episode
Speaker 1: drop each week. I'll be answering all your questions. Just
Speaker 1: leave me a voice message first nine Monday. All you
Speaker 1: have to do is go to speak pipe dot com
Speaker 1: slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast and record your questions. I
Speaker 1: can't wait to hear from you. This is a production
Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and the Micaeldura podcast Network. Follow us on
Speaker 1: Instagram at michael Gura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's
Speaker 1: c h i q u i s. For more podcasts
Speaker 1: from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite podcast, and check us out
Speaker 1: on YouTube