1 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,040 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and welcome to steph Mom never 2 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 1: told you a production of I Heart Radios How Stuff Works. 3 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: In the past few episodes, Samantha and I have been 4 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 1: discussing therapy. We even went through therapy sessions on air, 5 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 1: which was so scary, But we know that therapy isn't 6 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,160 Speaker 1: an option for everyone and there are plenty of other 7 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: ways to cope, and honestly, there are ways to cope 8 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,600 Speaker 1: on top of therapy, even if you can afford it 9 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,839 Speaker 1: or if it is a good fit for you. And 10 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 1: we've discussed what bad coping looks like, so in this episode, 11 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,920 Speaker 1: we want to look at ways of good coping and 12 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: some trigger warnings before we get into it sexual assaults, 13 00:00:55,840 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: mental health and substance abuse and okay, so basics and yes, 14 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: as should be obvious. Samantha and I are both aware 15 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:11,279 Speaker 1: that these basics are easier said than done. So getting 16 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,919 Speaker 1: good sleep, eating a healthy amount of healthy food, drinking 17 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: a lot of water, doing something active, meditation, taking time 18 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 1: to do an activity for yourself, reading, writing, sharing with 19 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: your support group how you're feeling, how you're doing, making 20 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: time to hang out with friends. I'd say, having check 21 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: ins with yourself, setting goals and being honest about how 22 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: you're doing what you could improve on. UM. Those are 23 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 1: all examples of good coping, taking care of yourself For 24 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: me personally, UM, writing, hiking, playing games with friends, UM, 25 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 1: cooking while listening to music, making costumes or other projects 26 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 1: like that. UM, those are things that I do. I 27 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 1: also have rules in place around social media when I'll 28 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 1: interact with it and when I stop engaging with electronics 29 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: at night so that I will fully sleep. Oh, we 30 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 1: have more discipline than I do. Because I can't do that. 31 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: I just keep wanting to play Candy Crush that we played. No, 32 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: you're you're talking to I forgot one thing We heard 33 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 1: from people as we did this project, and we would 34 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 1: ask them about how they what are their methods of 35 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: good coping. A lot of people told us that their 36 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:31,920 Speaker 1: experience UM kind of working through it with artwork or 37 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: through journaling or writing. We spoke with Jessica Caldus, who 38 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 1: has channeled her experience with sexual assault into art right 39 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 1: as In fact, she just recently had her m F 40 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: A show I believe, UM, and it was incredible. I 41 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 1: didn't get to see it. I just saw pictures of it, 42 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,000 Speaker 1: which I'm really sad about Um. It was called living 43 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,519 Speaker 1: Hysterically and I like the whole concept when she talks 44 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: about later is fantastic. Also, actually UM got to know her. 45 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,119 Speaker 1: I'll say that in quotes, because she didn't know me. 46 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: I just need UM. When I was at a screening 47 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,959 Speaker 1: at Brave Miss World, which if you've never seen a 48 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: film of about a woman thinks she was in this 49 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: world essentially and she it was UM involved in sexual assault, 50 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,399 Speaker 1: and then she came out and all of the things 51 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 1: that she had to go through to prove her point, 52 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 1: essentially improve her case and get justice. It was a 53 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,520 Speaker 1: fantastic film. But it was featured UM by a nonprofit 54 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 1: here in Atlanta called Athena's Warehouse, which is a fantastic 55 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:28,079 Speaker 1: program that works with underserved teen girls. And it was 56 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 1: a fantastic film, and she actually came on to talk 57 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: about her personal experiences as well as her artwork and 58 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,559 Speaker 1: how it was important for her and then later advocated 59 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: with the founder of the nonprofit who was one of 60 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,119 Speaker 1: our state representatives. She's just an awesome person who has 61 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: a lot of heart and is just a powerhouse when 62 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: it comes to advocating. Most of my work deals with 63 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 1: women's issues, And primarily what I'm most known for is 64 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: gender based violence. So that could be domestic violence, it 65 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: could be sexual assault, it could be sort of everyday violence, 66 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:03,680 Speaker 1: like things we experience on the street, or sexisms, or 67 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 1: like the kinds of things that are so normalized that 68 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 1: we think of them as nothing even though they really 69 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: are something. So I started making artwork about these stories, 70 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: and and it was artwork for many reasons because for me, 71 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,839 Speaker 1: as an artist, it's how I process the world and 72 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: understand the world. Um. But also I kind of instinctively 73 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 1: knew that art can function as a way to share 74 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 1: stories and talk about things that are really hard. Um. 75 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 1: And so that's what I did. I started making artwork 76 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: about these stories. And this is sort of a lead 77 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:42,720 Speaker 1: up to the work I'm currently doing, which is much broader. Right. Um, 78 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: At that time, it was like all domestic violence all 79 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:49,040 Speaker 1: the time. But now you know, the issues I'm addressing, 80 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:55,559 Speaker 1: really they get broader because, um, because when you start 81 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,840 Speaker 1: in one place, what you find is that there's all 82 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 1: of these other things that intersect. Right. Um. You know, 83 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 1: part of domestic violence is often sexual assault. Um. Part 84 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: of you know, normalizing violence in an everyday way is 85 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: the way we normalize sexism and small microaggressions and things 86 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,480 Speaker 1: like that. UM. Not to mention, of course, like thinking 87 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 1: about other issues that are tied into it, UM that 88 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: are broader than women's issues, like criminal justice system or 89 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: race or class or things like that. That I started 90 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,599 Speaker 1: making work specifically about sexual assault in two thousand and sixteen, 91 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 1: and UM, so almost right after that session with the 92 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,479 Speaker 1: rape kit bill, UM was the ten year anniversary of 93 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:43,359 Speaker 1: my rate, I happen to have an exhibition that I 94 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: had curated. UM. It had my own work, it had 95 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 1: work of many different women, and the whole exhibition was 96 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: dealing with themes of intimacy and sex and education and 97 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: love and like thinking about how all of these things 98 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:02,919 Speaker 1: work together in negative and positive ways. And the idea 99 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,799 Speaker 1: was to have UM different artists approaching these different themes 100 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: from different perspectives, but also working and partnering with organizations 101 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: and advocates and having panels and discussions and UM. It 102 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: was sort of a at that point the culmination of 103 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,479 Speaker 1: this idea I had that art was a way to 104 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 1: create space for conversation UM and and really hard conversation 105 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: and sort of make it easier and so UM and 106 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 1: that exhibition happened to fall you know, it's like a 107 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 1: month and a half long, but um, the tenure anniversary 108 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: of my rape happened to fall within that exhibition. So 109 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 1: I decided I was going to do this performance piece. 110 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: The performance piece was going to talk about my experience 111 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: with trauma and recovery, because I was really interested in 112 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:53,160 Speaker 1: this point also, like not just representing trauma, which is 113 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 1: super important and talking about like different kinds of stigmatized 114 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 1: like issues in a public way of super vice it all, 115 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,719 Speaker 1: and that could be enough for me for the rest 116 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 1: of my art career, but I'm really interested in recovery too, 117 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:09,240 Speaker 1: especially because for me, recovery has been this like super 118 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:13,240 Speaker 1: rocky path. Like for years, I didn't even call what 119 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: happened to me rape, Like I just didn't even talk 120 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 1: about it. I didn't think about it, I didn't call 121 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: it anything, you know. Um, And and then I like 122 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,120 Speaker 1: sort of dealt with it a little bit and I 123 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 1: tried to go to therapy and then it was like 124 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: a little bit better, but I definitely was still engaging 125 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: in some like less than healthy behaviors as like sort 126 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: of a you know, just dealing with it. One of 127 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 1: my favorite pieces that I haven't done a long time. 128 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: Is this like durational piece where I make a chalk 129 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 1: X every seven seconds wherever I go for usually like 130 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 1: a month, because that's how frequently sexual assault or attempt 131 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: to sexual assault occurs in the US. And so it 132 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 1: was the projects I had been doing had been these 133 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: sort of like broad or um, you know, statistics based 134 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: but still educational projects, And this was the first sexual 135 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: assault piece that I did that was like, this is 136 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: about me and what happened to me and UM. And 137 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 1: what I found is that actually people really responded to 138 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: that in a different way. Like I'd gotten good and 139 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: really interesting responses to other work, but for whatever reason, 140 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 1: something personal actually opens up a window into the work 141 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: that I thought would be closed off by making it 142 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: so personal. What I'm trying to do is create a 143 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,800 Speaker 1: space that people enter and kind of open up to 144 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 1: somewhere where they can confront these ideas that they may 145 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:48,520 Speaker 1: not agree with or they may not understand completely um, 146 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 1: and be given space to like challenge themselves, think about 147 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: how they think about these things, ask questions, and just 148 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: like kind of visually understand it through this like embodied experience, 149 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: so coping skills when I'm in the studio or working 150 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 1: on projects or advocating. They range, and sometimes I am 151 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: better then other times. Like you said, it can be 152 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 1: really hard to take care of yourself when you you 153 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,720 Speaker 1: have this like I feel like this pressure to like 154 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 1: I gotta keep doing this work because it's important and 155 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 1: it needs to happen. UM. But I think the first 156 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,560 Speaker 1: thing was like I got better, like recognizing when I 157 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: just needed to stop for a minute or like a day, 158 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,720 Speaker 1: or like you know, i've been working on this for 159 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: three hours, I can go work on something different. UM. 160 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: And so just even like knowing when I'm just tired 161 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 1: and and being able to like say, okay, it's okay 162 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: to be tired, I can go work on something else, UM, 163 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 1: and then having something else to work on. For a 164 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:49,679 Speaker 1: long time, this was the only kind of work I 165 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,559 Speaker 1: was making in my studio, and that UM that actually 166 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: did get really hard. My relationship with both recovery and 167 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: trauma changes constantly. So you know, even this past year 168 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 1: with UM with me Too and then later Kavanaugh, I 169 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 1: had some really different reactions to both of those, particular 170 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,080 Speaker 1: like big news items, the things that I hadn't experienced 171 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,200 Speaker 1: in a long time. UM, me too, was a little 172 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 1: bit less heavy, like I found in some ways like 173 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 1: I was able to embrace that a little bit more 174 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 1: because I was hearing stories from friends and people that 175 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: I had not ever heard before. Um And a function 176 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 1: of my work is that people often disclose to me, 177 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 1: just people I don't know, people I know, whatever. So 178 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 1: hearing news stories from people i'd know who had never 179 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 1: talked to me before, it was like kind of novel 180 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 1: and like did that whole like empowering, Like, Oh, we're 181 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: hearing each other's stories and we have power, and there's 182 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,839 Speaker 1: like recognition and like a feeling of community in this. 183 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: But I was much less able to do that when 184 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:03,320 Speaker 1: the Kavanaugh hearings happened, and I actually ended up retreating really, 185 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: um really like into myself during that period because um, 186 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,560 Speaker 1: I think partly I had just finished the installation of 187 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 1: that piece and then this kabinet stuff was happening, and 188 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 1: I was just like, this is too much. I can't 189 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: handle this. I'm like having trouble getting out of bed. 190 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 1: So I basically like turned off the news, which I 191 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: think people sometimes like criticize folks for doing this, and um, 192 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: and I definitely talked to other folks who like felt 193 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: like they had to say something or they had to engage. 194 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 1: Especially if you're like already vocal about these issues, then 195 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: people kind of expect you to and that's a lot 196 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: of pressure on a situation that can already be really hard. 197 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 1: So I, you know, I figured out a while ago 198 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 1: that I like, giving into that pressure is not healthy 199 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 1: and not good for me. So I was like, noop. 200 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:02,200 Speaker 1: So Jessica also found supportant lean community. I'm in this 201 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:07,599 Speaker 1: collective now, this collective of women are collective and we 202 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 1: we formed officially last year. We're called Living Melody Collective 203 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: and it's actually this UM. It's five artists on one 204 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:18,080 Speaker 1: of them, and we have been working together for years 205 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 1: on different projects UM, and we sort of made it 206 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 1: official last year, and it's been literally one of the 207 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 1: healthiest things I've ever done for myself. These women are incredible. 208 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 1: We have like the same values, care about the same issues. 209 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 1: We all come from super different backgrounds, but you know, 210 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:42,079 Speaker 1: everyone's just so open. We're like super vulnerable with each 211 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 1: other and and a lot of us all except for 212 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 1: one of us, we're all mothers, so there's something in 213 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 1: that connection as well. And it's like, honestly, I get 214 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 1: like very emotional. I've talked about this in a couple 215 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 1: of things, and I've ever time I get a little 216 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: teary because these women are like they have become like 217 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 1: the source for me of support and like they just 218 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:05,560 Speaker 1: hold space for we. I mean, we all do for 219 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,920 Speaker 1: each other, and it's just there's I haven't experienced something 220 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 1: this healthy, you know, outside of my family, you know, 221 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 1: in a really long time, and it's incredible. So that's awesome. 222 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: So we're making work together too. It's just that to 223 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: the point, do you guys have like a site or 224 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:24,280 Speaker 1: anything that they Yeah, it's actually attached to mine. But 225 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 1: the easiest thing is actually to watch us on Instagram. 226 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:32,079 Speaker 1: So it's at de Living Melody Collective. You'll be hearing 227 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,480 Speaker 1: more from Jessica in future episodes, but for now, that's 228 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:39,199 Speaker 1: one example of good coping and we have another one 229 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: for you. But first we have a quick break for 230 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: a word from our sponsor, h and we're back. Thank 231 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 1: you sponsor, And we're back with some clips from an 232 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 1: interview we did a while back with two other women 233 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 1: that you turned me on to. Samantha. Yeah, she and 234 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,559 Speaker 1: her wife Michelle started a group that pretty much goes 235 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: hiking as a part of healing and do some journaling 236 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: and all of that. And I was really excited when 237 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,560 Speaker 1: we started talking about some of our good coping because 238 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 1: one of the things she talked about was being empowered 239 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:20,360 Speaker 1: and walking through trauma and working through some negative feelings. Yeah, 240 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 1: when you tell me about it, I I was. I 241 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,200 Speaker 1: was so excited because I loved like all of those things. 242 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,760 Speaker 1: I love hiking, I love writing. Um. And as we 243 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: recorded this interview, it was the week of their big event, 244 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 1: we hiked to Heal, which is a part of the 245 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,720 Speaker 1: Outdoor Journal Tour. Here's Kenya the first four sheheel here 246 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 1: and Michelle so Outdoor Journal floor. UM. The Elevator Pitch 247 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 1: goes once to week is a HydroD health organization that 248 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 1: combines the health INNO states about their activity with introspective 249 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: journaling and mindful meditation. UM. And so that's what we 250 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,840 Speaker 1: you know, that's kind of it in the nutshell, what 251 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 1: really do when we take them in outside we encouraged 252 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:04,560 Speaker 1: them to digger into their personal development by using things 253 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:10,360 Speaker 1: like journaling, meditations with your circle, exercises and guided conversations. UM. 254 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 1: So just think like a tiny retreat. We had to 255 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: Heal is kind of UM all of the all of 256 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 1: the things in the mission of the Outdoor Journal Tour, 257 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 1: and that's basically UM just to kind of connect women 258 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 1: to themselves, UM, to their communities and to the outdoors UM. 259 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: And with that, throughout the month of March UM, which 260 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 1: also of course is women'ist three months Women's Wellness months UM, 261 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 1: we thought it was a great time to do this UM. 262 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: Basically throughout the entire month UM Kenya developed a kind 263 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 1: of a curriculum basically the Mindfulness Resources UM that she 264 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 1: spent out every week UM kind of like journal prompts, exercises, UM, 265 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 1: different activities to trying to get you to UM, ask 266 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 1: yourself some questions, produce some you know interspction UM. And 267 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 1: then at the end of the month, the last Saturday 268 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: of the month, March thirtieth, we have basically is the 269 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 1: highlight you. Hip to Heal Day is when all of 270 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,840 Speaker 1: our partners get together and they host their group hikes 271 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 1: all of the same day UM, all across the country. 272 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 1: So this year we have thirty six UM thirty six 273 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: we Hip to Heal group hikes UM thirty four in 274 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: the United States and two in Canada. UM and it's 275 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 1: it's kind of like this really meet collective consciousness. Um. 276 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 1: You know, all of these women and men coming together, um, 277 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 1: you know to empower women, UM and to connect them 278 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 1: to their community, connect them to themselves, and UM to 279 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 1: the outdoors. So, like I said, when I heard about this, 280 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 1: I was very excited about it, and I decided to go. 281 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 1: I woke up early on said her day, and made 282 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:04,480 Speaker 1: my way out to Stone Mountain. UM. The day started 283 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 1: with Myrna Valerio a k. The renovator, the woman behind 284 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 1: the blog Fat Girl Runs, an author of a beautiful 285 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,760 Speaker 1: work in progress, and she was getting us all warmed 286 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: up with exercises at us saying hi to people we 287 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 1: don't know. So jealous I missed that I would love 288 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,600 Speaker 1: to meet her. Oh yeah, she was awesome. She gave 289 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 1: it like a little motivational speech later and it was 290 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,560 Speaker 1: pretty great. Her whole instagram is motivational. It is. Yeah, 291 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:32,639 Speaker 1: I follow it. Um. Yeah. We hiked up the summit. 292 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:37,400 Speaker 1: We meditated, We did exercises like saying nothing but positive 293 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 1: things about our lives for two minutes to a stranger 294 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: and then switching places, which I highly recommend because it's 295 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,800 Speaker 1: like rewarding and surprisingly difficult, or maybe not surprisingly um. 296 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,200 Speaker 1: Then we meditated for a few minutes and the weather 297 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,680 Speaker 1: was so lovely and it was so wonderful, even though 298 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: I got We made body promises, promises to ourselves to 299 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,880 Speaker 1: treat our body better. And then we all wrote out 300 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 1: um our trauma or something that we had been working through, 301 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 1: and then we read them all out at the same time, 302 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,119 Speaker 1: and you can read them at whatever volume you wanted, 303 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,760 Speaker 1: like quietly, loudly, um. And it was really powerful. People 304 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 1: were crying UM. And I think that it's a great 305 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 1: example of the power of writing something down in the difficulty, honestly, 306 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 1: of like giving voice to something that maybe you for 307 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,679 Speaker 1: so long have not given a voice to. Kenyan Michelle 308 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,760 Speaker 1: spoke about the value of journaling. I've been writening since 309 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:36,119 Speaker 1: I was thirteen, um, fiction nonfiction journaling, you know, recounting 310 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,960 Speaker 1: my day. And what I what I realized later on 311 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,840 Speaker 1: life is that just read, reading and recounting what happened 312 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 1: on those days and rereading lot entries was something that 313 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 1: was therapeutic for me. So I really liked going back 314 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,600 Speaker 1: and reading how I felt last week. We're reading how 315 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 1: I felt yesterday. So in order for me to do 316 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,320 Speaker 1: that I have to write something new today, right. Um. 317 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,160 Speaker 1: So that that was part of it for me, But 318 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 1: you know, as got older, I also really enjoyed the 319 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,040 Speaker 1: idea of asking myself how I felt about things and 320 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: being a hundred percent honest about that, which we can't 321 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 1: always do um with with other people. Um. Sometimes we 322 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,680 Speaker 1: feel like we can't be a hundred percent honest, so 323 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 1: we can't say exactly how we feel to others, but 324 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 1: in your journal you absolutely can't. I think what's interesting 325 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:29,200 Speaker 1: was journaling for me now is that I realized that 326 00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 1: I don't know that I think the things that I 327 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:39,200 Speaker 1: think until I write them down, like somehow their subconscious maybe, um, 328 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,399 Speaker 1: you know. And if i'm you know, if it's a 329 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,159 Speaker 1: journal prompt or if I'm just writing about how I'm 330 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,440 Speaker 1: feeling about something, um, and I'm really just kind of 331 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,399 Speaker 1: you know, free flowing. Um. And I go back, you know, 332 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 1: and and just read what I wrote, and I'm like, holy, 333 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 1: I didn't know that that's what it was, So I 334 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 1: thought it was something completely different. And you know, here, 335 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 1: you know, I'm discovering that Okay, you know, maybe this 336 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,679 Speaker 1: is a part of a a bigger thing, you know, 337 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:11,360 Speaker 1: a part of you know childhood or past um, you know, 338 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,960 Speaker 1: trauma or problem that I had that just kind of 339 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,920 Speaker 1: popped up in a different way. UM. And I think 340 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 1: what's really cool is once you start noticing about those patterns, UM, 341 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:27,920 Speaker 1: you start to understand how you respond more, which is 342 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 1: which is really interesting because it's hard to stop yourself 343 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 1: sometimes from responding the way that you naturally respond or 344 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:39,639 Speaker 1: your default I guess, UM, but you can't take away 345 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:44,439 Speaker 1: that awareness, and that awareness really pushes you to think like, okay, Michelle, 346 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 1: is it's really what you want to do or you 347 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 1: just you know, kind of responding on autopilot. How do 348 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,280 Speaker 1: you really want to respond? Um? So I think it's 349 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,240 Speaker 1: really just helped me get in touch with that part 350 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:58,320 Speaker 1: of myself that I just wasn't pretty too. Before we 351 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 1: have some more of our interview, but first we're gonna 352 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,040 Speaker 1: pause for a quick break for word from our sponsor 353 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:14,720 Speaker 1: m HM, and we're back, Thank you sponsoring. We also 354 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,640 Speaker 1: asked Kenya and Michelle the four advice around healthy coping 355 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 1: skills in terms of dealing with a trauma. My first 356 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,719 Speaker 1: mind is to say, like, if it's someone that has 357 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 1: experienced significant trauma, I think that for even though it's 358 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,240 Speaker 1: not always a perfect system. I would definitely advising to 359 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 1: seek professional hope, you know, definitely seek you know, someone 360 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,399 Speaker 1: who is licensed in training and do this for a living, 361 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 1: because we want to make sure that UM people are 362 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,600 Speaker 1: getting the type of help that they need. UM. So 363 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,720 Speaker 1: in addition to that, if there is space in the 364 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,679 Speaker 1: schedule and face and the heart, I would say, find 365 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 1: something that feels good to you. UM. You know, in 366 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: my work with the different women that I work, because 367 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,199 Speaker 1: I do do one online sessions, always tell them just 368 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 1: because everybody is meditating right now, just because they're abody 369 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,360 Speaker 1: and yoga, that doesn't mean that has to be your thing. 370 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,000 Speaker 1: You gotta find something that works for you and something 371 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 1: that feels good for you. And once you find something 372 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,560 Speaker 1: that feels good for you, do that thing and do 373 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,680 Speaker 1: that thing, whether you have to do it by yourself, 374 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,600 Speaker 1: do that thing, UM, even when you don't feel like 375 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 1: doing it, like when you don't have the interest to 376 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,359 Speaker 1: do it, do that thing anyway, because you know that 377 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,040 Speaker 1: thing is going to be healing. Do and that thing 378 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:25,119 Speaker 1: it's going to be a positive UM interaction for you. Also, 379 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 1: when advised people to be honest about it, be it's 380 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,719 Speaker 1: honest and transparent about what's going on with you as 381 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,159 Speaker 1: you possibly can. I think a big, big part of 382 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,880 Speaker 1: the reason why so many of us are struct to suffering, 383 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,960 Speaker 1: especially from the anxiety that we are, is because we're 384 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 1: not honest with our friends and family about how we 385 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 1: feel and to take the crisis or a breakdown, uh, 386 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,159 Speaker 1: or a dramatic weight loss or dramatic weight gain or 387 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:51,320 Speaker 1: something big and and and public to happen before we're 388 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,880 Speaker 1: honest people about how we've been feeling for a long time. 389 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: And so I think letting people in is important. Um 390 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,399 Speaker 1: Renee Brown, who I'm read lot of her stuff. She says, 391 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,439 Speaker 1: a shame cannot survive being spoken, and a lot of 392 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 1: us we carry the shame of the trauma that you've 393 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 1: experienced with us because we feel like it's our shame, 394 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,920 Speaker 1: and it is not most of the time. And it's 395 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 1: not our shame. It's things that have happened to us, 396 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,640 Speaker 1: not things that we have done in preparation other people. 397 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 1: So we shouldn't be carrying around that negative energy, um 398 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 1: And I would say, you know, find a way to 399 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,199 Speaker 1: release it when you're ready. When you're ready too, because 400 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 1: some of us need to hold onto that for a while, 401 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,440 Speaker 1: because we feel like it's hours and you can't prematurely 402 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 1: release something that you still want to hold on to 403 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,920 Speaker 1: this right, um. But ultimately, you know, you got to 404 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 1: find something new that so good for you. For myself, 405 00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:44,240 Speaker 1: there are a lot of times where I can go 406 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,639 Speaker 1: out on a high to find my self and I 407 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,919 Speaker 1: get this, you know, huge adrenaline high, and I'm in 408 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:55,440 Speaker 1: this beautiful place, um, and I just um grounded again, 409 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,680 Speaker 1: and I realized that, you know, I am a part 410 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:01,720 Speaker 1: of this enormous ecosystem that is so big yet so 411 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,879 Speaker 1: small at the same time. UM. And it really just 412 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,520 Speaker 1: puts things into perspect into perspective for myself at least 413 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,520 Speaker 1: in the moment. You know, of course, something else will 414 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,439 Speaker 1: come out at some point, but it puts things in 415 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,240 Speaker 1: perspective for the moment for me, and I can kind of, 416 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,919 Speaker 1: you know, let out that deep breath and just you know, 417 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 1: relax into that space and just enjoy the beauty, enjoy 418 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,360 Speaker 1: the vast man um and you know, just understand that 419 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,720 Speaker 1: I am a part of a much larger thing. Um. 420 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 1: And sometimes that's enough. Sometimes it's okay. There's a lot 421 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,800 Speaker 1: of steps to finding a therapist, right, I mean, I 422 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,400 Speaker 1: don't think that it's necessarily hard per se UM. But 423 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:47,639 Speaker 1: it's not. It's simple, not easy, you know, but finding 424 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:49,879 Speaker 1: one that's fit with you, finding one that you know 425 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 1: maybe you have e A P benefits with your job, 426 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: so you get I think it's you know, most companies 427 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,359 Speaker 1: like eight three sessions. No, it's not enough to you know, 428 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 1: work through all of your trauma, but it is a 429 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,720 Speaker 1: good place to start. UM. You know, there's a lot 430 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:10,200 Speaker 1: of emergency facilities. UM. There's there's resources out there. UM. 431 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 1: And sometimes it's just asking friends or family for help. 432 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 1: And so sometimes it's a situation where you need to 433 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:19,840 Speaker 1: ask your you know, friend or family or coworker or 434 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:23,199 Speaker 1: someone that you trust UM for some help in finding 435 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 1: the help that you need. UM. And that's perfectly, perfectly, 436 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:30,000 Speaker 1: perfectly okay too. I think, you know, it's really interesting 437 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:36,400 Speaker 1: because when people start sharing their stories with UM, their community, 438 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,919 Speaker 1: they realize that it's not just their story, UM, that 439 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,800 Speaker 1: a lot of people identify with their story in one 440 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 1: way or another, or they have another version of that 441 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,439 Speaker 1: same exact story. UM. And I think it really it 442 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 1: gives us a sense of belonging and it makes us 443 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 1: realize that we are not alone. Um, you know, and 444 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,199 Speaker 1: that the things you know, oh that maybe we're not 445 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,679 Speaker 1: so happy or thrilled about. Um, you know, it is 446 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 1: something that other people have been through and have been 447 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:12,760 Speaker 1: able to change or improve or or whatever. Something else. 448 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 1: Kenyan Michelle are big proponents of and is a large 449 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:19,680 Speaker 1: part of their online materials is mindfulness. You can bring 450 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:21,840 Speaker 1: mindfulness to any activity. It doesn't just have to be 451 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,200 Speaker 1: journal in meditation. You could be mindful when you fold 452 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 1: your lines, and you could be mindful when you wash 453 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 1: your dishes. You could be mindful. Please be mindful when 454 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 1: you're driving your car, when you're talking to somebody. You 455 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,320 Speaker 1: can be mindful at any time if you just kind 456 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:37,159 Speaker 1: of bring your attention to the here and now and 457 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,239 Speaker 1: focus completely your energy and your attention on the thing 458 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,480 Speaker 1: that you're doing. That is now a mindfulness pas. So 459 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,240 Speaker 1: you don't have to go on the mountain and fit 460 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,600 Speaker 1: with us in journal and meditate. We hope that you will, 461 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 1: but I think that if you bring more stillness and 462 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:54,880 Speaker 1: more attentiveness to your everyday activity, you'll find a slight 463 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,200 Speaker 1: decrease from their anxiety. If you're like I am here 464 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,119 Speaker 1: right now, I am folding missiles, and that is what 465 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 1: I'm doing, Um, instead of thinking I want to photo 466 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:02,960 Speaker 1: close and I have to run to jims, I have 467 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:04,520 Speaker 1: to go to the airport and I gotta You know, 468 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 1: if you can just kind of slow it down to 469 00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,399 Speaker 1: be present for one thing at a time, I have 470 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,679 Speaker 1: found that in me it definitely reduced with some of 471 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 1: the anxieties. In the trust, we have a teachable score 472 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,640 Speaker 1: where we have different mindfulness resources and classmen and there 473 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,960 Speaker 1: We've got the Journal of Mindful Movement and we have 474 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,440 Speaker 1: something calls this Break from the Grid, which is another 475 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:26,480 Speaker 1: guy that journal. So we have all of these different 476 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,359 Speaker 1: things for women to tap the two that are ready 477 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,600 Speaker 1: to kind of take the first step towards you know, 478 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,600 Speaker 1: the personal development and their inner healing. And it's all 479 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,399 Speaker 1: on either ww got Outdoor Journal Tour dot com or 480 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,639 Speaker 1: do ww dot We has to Heal dot org um 481 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 1: and we are at Outdoor Journal Tour on Instagram and 482 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,920 Speaker 1: we just are looking to continue to grow the movement 483 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,359 Speaker 1: and increase the number of women who are involved. So 484 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 1: if people like what they hear what they heard today, 485 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 1: if they felt like it resonated with them, we just 486 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,080 Speaker 1: really encourage you to join us on one of those 487 00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,440 Speaker 1: platforms signing for a class by a journal and put 488 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,440 Speaker 1: yourself first, you know, um, and and do a little 489 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,800 Speaker 1: something different, do a little something different to treat some 490 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,879 Speaker 1: of the things you might be doner with. We highly 491 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,199 Speaker 1: recommend checking them out. I had such a lovely and 492 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 1: meaningful experience. Um. Also after we yeah down the mountain, 493 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,199 Speaker 1: there was an after party with yoga and kayaking, so 494 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,200 Speaker 1: super fun. Yeah. As in fact, the Outdoor Journal Tour 495 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 1: is on Instagram right now and you can actually see 496 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,640 Speaker 1: the different locations that have all over the country. They're 497 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,880 Speaker 1: starting to be countrywide. I love it. Yeah. I think 498 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:37,160 Speaker 1: even they have some places in Canadah. Yeah. And one 499 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:41,320 Speaker 1: thing I love about that's something that was in that 500 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 1: interview is find the thing that you love. Like we've 501 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 1: been talking a lot about journaling and hiking and art. 502 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 1: That doesn't have to be the thing for you. Those 503 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,960 Speaker 1: are examples of good coping. But well, you need to 504 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,160 Speaker 1: find or we would hope that you couldn't. You can 505 00:28:55,280 --> 00:29:01,320 Speaker 1: find something that is specifically works well for you. That's 506 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 1: that's the whole point of finding good coping is something 507 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,880 Speaker 1: that you can gives you join that you can stick to. Yeah. 508 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,240 Speaker 1: As in fact, you heard Jessica talking about her doing 509 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: different types of art as well as you know, hiking 510 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:18,160 Speaker 1: and journaling. And you heard Rebecca earlier the series who 511 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,880 Speaker 1: actually took her trauma and put it into a play 512 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,160 Speaker 1: and that was something therapeutic for her. So there's so 513 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,640 Speaker 1: many different outlets that we can do. And obviously, um, 514 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:29,960 Speaker 1: I guess we said as you said earlier, any not 515 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,840 Speaker 1: everyone can afford therapy, and so you have to figure 516 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,760 Speaker 1: out what is best for you, um and at least 517 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,520 Speaker 1: taking small steps, whether it's to do some type of 518 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 1: outlet or um having small conversations all of that, Yeah, 519 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:50,240 Speaker 1: for sure. And speaking of outlets, you and your dn 520 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:56,200 Speaker 1: d yes speaking of outlets all right. For the fact 521 00:29:56,240 --> 00:30:00,760 Speaker 1: of the episode, our group was due ing a a 522 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:04,240 Speaker 1: one shot, which in theory should take one session, hence 523 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,960 Speaker 1: the name makes sense. Yeah, it took like four because 524 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:10,760 Speaker 1: we we always take the longest route around. But one 525 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:14,800 Speaker 1: shots are a good example of letting, um, someone else 526 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 1: be the dungeon master, run the game, take on that 527 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,640 Speaker 1: responsibility for a little while, um, and then it gives 528 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:22,720 Speaker 1: you room for more creativity because you know that this 529 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 1: one shot is going to be over like it's contained. Um. 530 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,640 Speaker 1: So long story short because it is quite a long story. 531 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,560 Speaker 1: We stole all of this gold from a dragon, which 532 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 1: we clearly should not have done, and the dragon was 533 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 1: so mad. We got a bit of a head start, 534 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,160 Speaker 1: but there's no way we're gonna outrun a dragon. Um. 535 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 1: And also he had a track groundos which we couldn't find. Wait, 536 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,800 Speaker 1: this dragon was smart enough to put a tracker on you. 537 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:52,560 Speaker 1: Yeah again, long story, but yees, keep going. Um. And 538 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,239 Speaker 1: there was a timer the dungeon master, she had a 539 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,880 Speaker 1: timer counting down to when the dragon was going to 540 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,480 Speaker 1: find us, based on distance. It was a whole thing, 541 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 1: and we had one chance to escape. We're gonna telepared 542 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 1: away um. And we have one person in the group 543 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,200 Speaker 1: who can teleport, and he he rolls the dice and 544 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:17,280 Speaker 1: he gets a one. Is that teleporting one? That's the 545 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:20,440 Speaker 1: opposite of that's the that's the equivalent of falling on 546 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,200 Speaker 1: your face and telling the dragon where you are. Um. 547 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 1: So he rolls the one. The silence was deafening um. 548 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,840 Speaker 1: And yeah, because if you don't know, that's a critical failure. 549 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,600 Speaker 1: It's the worst you can get. So we failed in 550 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:36,120 Speaker 1: the dragon burned to the village we were trying to save, 551 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 1: and we still don't talk about it. Um. I was 552 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:44,800 Speaker 1: so upset about these dead imaginary characters that we failed. Um. 553 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 1: And on top of that, we could have in theory 554 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,880 Speaker 1: killed the dragon, but just as likely it would have 555 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 1: killed us, like three of us, three of the four 556 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 1: of us were dead. The dragon was almost dead maybe. UM. 557 00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:00,040 Speaker 1: So we voted about the risk of it, and it 558 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,520 Speaker 1: put a division in our group that lasts to this day. 559 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 1: It's like the D and D version of Captain America's 560 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 1: Civil War. Yeah. No, we don't talk about it. And 561 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,040 Speaker 1: since I'm running the current campaign, I've got a massive 562 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:16,480 Speaker 1: guilt ship going with a woman carrying around the ashes 563 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 1: of the city that we failed. Nice. Yeah, I love 564 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,000 Speaker 1: a good guilt ship. Oh, I know, I do. It's 565 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 1: so good. Yeah, I don't have much. I'm going to 566 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,360 Speaker 1: talk about the new things I'm trying and it's coming 567 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:33,240 Speaker 1: onto your world. So I try to play portal too, 568 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,840 Speaker 1: I know. And can we talk about the fact that 569 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:41,040 Speaker 1: immediately I turned the day game on with my friend 570 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,120 Speaker 1: and I immediately follow the cliff like that was the 571 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,680 Speaker 1: automatic and died And I was like, what just happened? 572 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,240 Speaker 1: I just picked up a remote or whatever the controller 573 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:50,680 Speaker 1: I called it. A remote. This is how good I 574 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 1: am about this. I don't like games, yes you do, 575 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:58,720 Speaker 1: but I'm willing to try. And so right now I'm 576 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,000 Speaker 1: pouring all of my frustrate and the fact that I 577 00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 1: do not have the hand eye coordination to play with 578 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:07,560 Speaker 1: a controller. It sounds like your controller is a little sensitive, 579 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,560 Speaker 1: I hope. So I feel like I should be able 580 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:12,560 Speaker 1: to blame this thing because it's not a happy time. 581 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:16,840 Speaker 1: World two is fantast what we'll see Stephen Merchant, Yeah, 582 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:25,080 Speaker 1: we'll see okay, And that didn't get gladys she's not nice. Yeah, 583 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 1: but she's hilarious. Whatever, I am glad I can go away. 584 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:32,000 Speaker 1: I'm trying not to curse about it. Okay, I'm excited 585 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:36,400 Speaker 1: to see where this goes. Alright, alright, So do you 586 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,760 Speaker 1: have any healthy coping mechanism listeners that you would like 587 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 1: to share? If so, you can email us at mom 588 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,800 Speaker 1: Stuff at how stuff works dot com. You can find 589 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,160 Speaker 1: us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram 590 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,959 Speaker 1: at stuff. I've never told you. Samantha has been posting stuff. 591 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,200 Speaker 1: It's been great, and you can talk to me. Please 592 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:55,800 Speaker 1: talk to me, or you know, write to me. I 593 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 1: don't know, you know you know what we mean, communicate 594 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 1: with me. I'm lonely. Thanks as always to our super 595 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:07,320 Speaker 1: producer Andrew Howard, and thanks to you for listening stuff 596 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:08,719 Speaker 1: I've never told to you as a production of I 597 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:12,120 Speaker 1: Heart Radios How Stuff Works. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, 598 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 1: visit the iHeart Radio app Apple podcast. I'll rect you 599 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:16,840 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shown