1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,240
Speaker 1: My wife lied and got an SDI test after a

2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:06,560
Speaker 1: business trip by the asshole for wanting to talk about it.

3
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:09,040
Speaker 2: How dare you you know I should be able to

4
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:11,360
Speaker 2: go on all the business trips I want.

5
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,520
Speaker 1: Hey, there's a lot of handshaking go around. Listen, and

6
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,280
Speaker 1: it's some cultures and countries. You know, you shake other

7
00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:20,680
Speaker 1: parts exactly. I don't want to disrespect them. You know,

8
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,520
Speaker 1: you think I'm going to upset the crowned prints of

9
00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:28,760
Speaker 1: Azure Bajan by not giving him a blows? Come on,

10
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,960
Speaker 1: how do you think I'm going to secure the deal?

11
00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,400
Speaker 1: Gosh dang it? This is business. This is business. I'm

12
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,640
Speaker 1: trying to provide for our family. Wow, putting food on

13
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:42,640
Speaker 1: the table. If that means soaking in the Sultan's seamen.

14
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,360
Speaker 3: Then I'll do it. Gosh dang it.

15
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,280
Speaker 1: Okay, so throw away for reasons. My wife is a

16
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,680
Speaker 1: great person and we've always gotten a lot. We've been

17
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,080
Speaker 1: married for almost two years and we've been together for

18
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,720
Speaker 1: four and a half years. We are in a monogamous

19
00:00:55,760 --> 00:01:00,000
Speaker 1: relationship and have both had several partners prior to our relationship.

20
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,600
Speaker 1: Every year, my wife goes on a long business trip,

21
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:05,399
Speaker 1: typically about two months.

22
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,920
Speaker 3: That is a long business trip. Oh, you can do

23
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,200
Speaker 3: a lot of business or a lot of business there.

24
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,119
Speaker 1: I'm I'm sure she's doing a ton of business, posing

25
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,160
Speaker 1: a lot of deals.

26
00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:13,640
Speaker 3: During this time.

27
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,520
Speaker 1: Communication over phone and email can be difficult, a contingent

28
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,880
Speaker 1: upon the technological issues where she works.

29
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,920
Speaker 3: She really enjoys her work.

30
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,360
Speaker 1: During the business trips and usually comes back feeling fulfilled

31
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,640
Speaker 1: and excited about life. Well, something's getting filled. Yeah, she's

32
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:30,640
Speaker 1: full of some filth.

33
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:31,400
Speaker 3: Oh goodness.

34
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,200
Speaker 1: Normally when she comes home she takes a day too

35
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,840
Speaker 1: of rest and overcomes the jet lag. It's twenty eight

36
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,759
Speaker 1: hour travel time in a twenty one hour time difference.

37
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,520
Speaker 3: Maybe she is going to the Sultan the following days.

38
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,480
Speaker 1: We tend to spend lots of time together, sex, dates, cuddling,

39
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,640
Speaker 1: catching up, et cetera, because she's been gone so long

40
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:53,080
Speaker 1: this year. She came home as her same excited self

41
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:56,360
Speaker 1: after having had a great trip. In fact, she seemed

42
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,800
Speaker 1: so excited that she wanted to work in some projects.

43
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,919
Speaker 1: But we need to get some material from the store.

44
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,640
Speaker 1: About three hours after picking her up from the airport,

45
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,280
Speaker 1: she says she wants to go shopping for a craft project,

46
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,960
Speaker 1: and she will likely spend several hours out shopping. She

47
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,560
Speaker 1: really emphasizes how much time she'll need to go shopping,

48
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,079
Speaker 1: many hours, A little suspicious shopping for what. I think

49
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,040
Speaker 1: this is a little weird considering that she just came

50
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,880
Speaker 1: back from a twenty eight hour flight, hasn't slept, and

51
00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:24,280
Speaker 1: she's usually not the type to spend more than an

52
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,519
Speaker 1: hour or two shopping, But whatever, it's fine. About five

53
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,720
Speaker 1: hours later, she comes home with a single bag of

54
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,079
Speaker 1: craft material I register this, it's strange, but don't really

55
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,160
Speaker 1: think about it. I've chalk it up to taking a

56
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:39,040
Speaker 1: lot of time to pick out her materials, carefully selecting

57
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:42,359
Speaker 1: them instead of bulk buying five hours for one tiny

58
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,120
Speaker 1: little bag of craft supplies. How much time you spend

59
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,280
Speaker 1: it at Michael's.

60
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,680
Speaker 2: What kind of crafts are we doing? And also how

61
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:50,720
Speaker 2: much time are you spending with Michael?

62
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,800
Speaker 1: That's the bigger question. Over the next few days, she

63
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,919
Speaker 1: didn't really go through the jet lag phase and stayed distant.

64
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,680
Speaker 1: I thought that was a bit weird, but we ended

65
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,919
Speaker 1: up giving her space and just focused on school. About

66
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:06,079
Speaker 1: two weeks post return, we still haven't had sex, despite

67
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,399
Speaker 1: my advances and lightly prodding the issue getting a I'm

68
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,959
Speaker 1: just feeling off and don't feel like it kind of vibe.

69
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,760
Speaker 1: I find that strange since she usually is like a

70
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,639
Speaker 1: three to four times a week kind of person, and

71
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,400
Speaker 1: we've been exploring some new kinks prior to her trip,

72
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,360
Speaker 1: which we had talked about kindling once she returned. The

73
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,280
Speaker 1: first few times she doesn't reciprocate sexy time advances. I

74
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,400
Speaker 1: don't think anything of it. We've always had this very

75
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,519
Speaker 1: open no policy and are attentive to one another's needs.

76
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,320
Speaker 1: Time tired, not feeling it, need it now. But then

77
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,600
Speaker 1: after two weeks, the combination of her distance and no

78
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,480
Speaker 1: sex feels really off, which I mean like if something

79
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,320
Speaker 1: suddenly changes about your relationship once someone comes back from

80
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,000
Speaker 1: a business trip.

81
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:45,560
Speaker 3: I feel like.

82
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,200
Speaker 1: It's a two month business trip. Two month business that's

83
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:51,000
Speaker 1: a lot of time to get filled that it is

84
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,200
Speaker 1: in on business meetings. Over the weekend, she went to

85
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,720
Speaker 1: meet up with her girlfriends for a day out. During

86
00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:01,200
Speaker 1: that time, I snoop on her computer. Oh oh boy.

87
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,480
Speaker 3: If that bothers you, stop reading now.

88
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, We've always been extremely open with our phones and

89
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,200
Speaker 1: social media. We both know our phone passwords, computer passwords.

90
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,320
Speaker 1: She knows my Facebook, et cetera. While she was out

91
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,520
Speaker 1: with her friend. I looked on her computer. She left

92
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,800
Speaker 1: her work and personal email, read it and Facebook open

93
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,560
Speaker 1: and logged in, so I looked nothing out of the ordinary.

94
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,080
Speaker 1: I looked in the recycle bin and found that she

95
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:27,120
Speaker 1: had taken some self nudes with her phone, sent them

96
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,640
Speaker 1: to her email, downloaded them, then delete them, hence the

97
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:31,360
Speaker 1: recycling bin.

98
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:32,880
Speaker 3: I thought that was odd.

99
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,520
Speaker 1: Normally we would send nudes to each other, not put

100
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,560
Speaker 1: them on our computers. Maybe she really liked them, she

101
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,440
Speaker 1: did look hot and decided to keep them. This has

102
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,159
Speaker 1: my gears turning because she has been really disinterested in

103
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,200
Speaker 1: sex since returning, but is taking selfies in the nude

104
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:51,400
Speaker 1: wearing lingerirette m. I looked at the metadata on the

105
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:55,120
Speaker 1: picture nerd and confirmed it was taken recently and it

106
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:59,440
Speaker 1: was downloaded from Gmail. H I went and looked at

107
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,480
Speaker 1: her Gmail. OPI is freaking sleuthum.

108
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,480
Speaker 3: She really is catfish over here.

109
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:07,440
Speaker 1: Nothing terribly odd here, but anything before three days after

110
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:11,240
Speaker 1: returning home had been deleted from her inbox, then deleted

111
00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,680
Speaker 1: from the trash folder slash not archived e g. If

112
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,159
Speaker 1: she came home on the first, everything before the fourth

113
00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:20,760
Speaker 1: was deleted. However, in her trash bin was a confirmation

114
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,880
Speaker 1: of an appointment for a health clinic in an adjacent city.

115
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,160
Speaker 1: It had a link with a user ID to log

116
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,960
Speaker 1: into the patient portal if you needed to change your appointment.

117
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:32,200
Speaker 1: I logged in with her ID and her common passwords,

118
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:33,440
Speaker 1: which I already knew from.

119
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,760
Speaker 3: Us sharing God.

120
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,720
Speaker 1: The portal is mostly empty, but showed that she had

121
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,760
Speaker 1: scheduled and kept an appointment the same afternoon that she

122
00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,159
Speaker 1: got home from her trip. The portal allows you to

123
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,240
Speaker 1: request records from the visits, so I did. They were

124
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:49,440
Speaker 1: delivered to the portal about thirty minutes later. She had

125
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:53,440
Speaker 1: gone for an SDD testing five hours after coming home

126
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:58,840
Speaker 1: from an eight week business trip. And there is an update.

127
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,240
Speaker 2: Suddenly, Uh, not wanting to get it on makes a

128
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,360
Speaker 2: little sense. You know, you don't want to leave the

129
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,760
Speaker 2: trail where it can be found.

130
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, for the update, Let's let's do it. Let's go.

131
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,800
Speaker 1: The secrecy of the whole thing really bothers me any

132
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,240
Speaker 1: ideas on how to approach the topic with my wife

133
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:21,240
Speaker 1: were other possible explanations and another update. I just confronted

134
00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:24,480
Speaker 1: her about the secret SDD test. She admitted to cheating

135
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:28,880
Speaker 1: on our trip. She only said once, but evidence suggests

136
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,880
Speaker 1: at least more than twice. She did three times in

137
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:36,360
Speaker 1: one trip. Confirmed digging into it now, Oh man, typical

138
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,279
Speaker 1: it was one time thing. Responses it was your fault.

139
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,800
Speaker 1: Responses confirmed at least three dudes during her last trip.

140
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:47,159
Speaker 1: Likely systemic serial cheater since we've been together. Refuses to

141
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,240
Speaker 1: admit anything outside of the business trip, even though she

142
00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:53,800
Speaker 1: had a carbon copy behavior two years ago. Refuses to

143
00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:56,440
Speaker 1: be honest. Claims she wasn't going to meet anyone on

144
00:06:56,480 --> 00:07:00,600
Speaker 1: her current solo camping trip. I know otherwise I keep

145
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:04,920
Speaker 1: catching her in lies filing papers. Meaw, it's at least

146
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,440
Speaker 1: four now, one on her first trip two years ago,

147
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,320
Speaker 1: hence the SDD test. Then mutual friend knew about it,

148
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:13,680
Speaker 1: kept its secret. Oh, mutual friend should not be your

149
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:17,400
Speaker 1: friend anymore. Come on, this is day's slash a week

150
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:22,760
Speaker 1: after we got engaged. Oh, opd that's the end of it. Yeah, Op,

151
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:29,200
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, man, Wow, Wow, that is dude e yikes, yikes.

152
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:30,880
Speaker 3: It's pretty obvious.

153
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,320
Speaker 2: I think that Op's significant other was the a hole here,

154
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,920
Speaker 2: right and cheating and lying?

155
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:40,520
Speaker 3: Is OP the a hole for stooping here? Really really deep?

156
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,600
Speaker 2: Using her pastors all of that stuff. I want to

157
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,600
Speaker 2: know what you all think of the comments by I mean, like, yeah,

158
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:46,800
Speaker 2: definitely a little bit.

159
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,160
Speaker 1: But like I wouldn't want OP to be staying in

160
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,400
Speaker 1: a like a relationship for like multiple years after because

161
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,800
Speaker 1: like it sounds like she never would have told the truth.

162
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I am ultimately very glad that he did it,

163
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,960
Speaker 2: because he should not be subject to the you know,

164
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,000
Speaker 2: being cheated on all this stuff and being like staying

165
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,400
Speaker 2: in this relationship without knowing. I guess the one thing

166
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:09,120
Speaker 2: he maybe could have done different was like, oh, hey,

167
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,280
Speaker 2: I noted like something feels off. I just wanted to

168
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:15,200
Speaker 2: like sit down and check in with you and you know,

169
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,000
Speaker 2: give her a chance, at.

170
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,520
Speaker 3: Least more of a chance, you know.

171
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:24,360
Speaker 2: But I ultimately don't blame him because like people who

172
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:27,160
Speaker 2: cheat and compulsively lie, like they might just cover it

173
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,640
Speaker 2: up for eternity and you know, you would never.

174
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:29,840
Speaker 3: Know the why.

175
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess, like, yes, it's wrong, Yeah, but I

176
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:34,640
Speaker 1: don't necessarily blame Op.

177
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,200
Speaker 2: There's many cases where I think it's reason to like,

178
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,240
Speaker 2: if there's no other way to know, and you want

179
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,520
Speaker 2: to Yeah, it's kind.

180
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,920
Speaker 3: Of a rock and a hardway, Op. This one's rough.

181
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:46,800
Speaker 3: It's true, Stay strong, brother, stay strong, see you soon.

182
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,280
Speaker 1: My fiance's family hates me, am, I want to kick

183
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,480
Speaker 1: me out of the family. All I did was invite

184
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,400
Speaker 1: my sister in law to the wedding. Am I the

185
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,840
Speaker 1: a whole? How dare you invite anyone to the wedding?

186
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,720
Speaker 1: You think you can invite family? No, you can't invite anyone.

187
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,960
Speaker 2: So I female twenty five, am engaged in my fiance,

188
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,839
Speaker 2: male thirty two. We've been dating for four years before

189
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,920
Speaker 2: getting engaged last year. We've always gotten along well with

190
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,040
Speaker 2: each other's families and celebrated holidays together. Both of our

191
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,079
Speaker 2: families were happy when we announced our engagement. I recently

192
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,520
Speaker 2: found out that my fiance actually has a fifteen year

193
00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:18,880
Speaker 2: old sister, let's call her ant.

194
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,480
Speaker 1: How do you recently find that out about your fiance?

195
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,400
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know that they have siblings.

196
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,839
Speaker 2: You always hear that like long lost sibling. I've never

197
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,480
Speaker 2: known of an actual long lost sibling. That's vediculous. That's

198
00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:32,360
Speaker 2: part of the lore. Who I never met despite her

199
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:35,520
Speaker 2: living at her parents and me visiting often.

200
00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:36,160
Speaker 3: That's weird.

201
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,800
Speaker 2: Okay, this just got like ten times more weird and

202
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,440
Speaker 2: confusing when I asked about her during a family dinner.

203
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,440
Speaker 2: They glared at me coldly and said that I shouldn't

204
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,560
Speaker 2: mention her and that I should just forget about her.

205
00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:49,800
Speaker 3: All right, I'm guessing it's his kid. That's my guess.

206
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,480
Speaker 3: You guys guess right now. But I'm guessing it's his kid.

207
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:53,600
Speaker 3: That's a very good guess.

208
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,000
Speaker 2: I think the intense response kind of shocked me, so

209
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,200
Speaker 2: I dropped the subject, but I wanted to talk about

210
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,439
Speaker 2: it with my fiance after we got home. He brushed

211
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,200
Speaker 2: it off and said, Anne doesn't want to be part

212
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,480
Speaker 2: of the family, so she's not allowed to join any

213
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,640
Speaker 2: family events or gatherings until she decides to talk to them.

214
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,560
Speaker 3: What So she's like being shunned.

215
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:12,680
Speaker 2: I don't get it, maybe because I'm generally a curious person,

216
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:16,640
Speaker 2: but something just felt off. Even at my fiance's parents' home,

217
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,560
Speaker 2: there are pictures of their children everywhere, but there's not

218
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,520
Speaker 2: a single picture of Anne.

219
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,320
Speaker 3: It's so weird. Yeah, this is just like Anne from

220
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,120
Speaker 3: Arrested Development. Yeah yeah, ohy.

221
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,600
Speaker 2: But a few days ago I contacted Anne saying I'd

222
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,400
Speaker 2: love to get to know my future sister.

223
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,640
Speaker 3: In law, which is a normal thing to do.

224
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,960
Speaker 2: The most normal thing I would say, we met up

225
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,800
Speaker 2: in a cafe and she is such a sweet girl.

226
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,080
Speaker 1: But it turned out that she's mute. She can hear

227
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:49,439
Speaker 1: but just can't talk. Oh now, like they just suck. Yeah,

228
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:50,680
Speaker 1: wow Wow.

229
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,560
Speaker 2: Her parents got it into their heads that she's able

230
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,600
Speaker 2: to talk but chooses not to because there's no way

231
00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:58,360
Speaker 2: a child of them would.

232
00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:02,760
Speaker 3: Have a disability. Yeah ikes, Yep, they suck. Oh they suck.

233
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:07,439
Speaker 2: God, So they excluded Anne from the family until she talks.

234
00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:11,560
Speaker 1: Oh, it's like, oh, yeah, you're blind. How about you

235
00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,439
Speaker 1: learn to fucking see Raisin, or you're not part of

236
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:15,000
Speaker 1: this family.

237
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,720
Speaker 3: What am I supposed to do? My eye Paul's don't work.

238
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,880
Speaker 2: We talked, I talked, and then she wrote I don't

239
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,880
Speaker 2: know sign language and I feel really sorry for her.

240
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,200
Speaker 2: I invited her to my wedding, telling her that I

241
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,839
Speaker 2: would love to see her there. When I later told

242
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,960
Speaker 2: this during a family dinner with my fiance's family, they

243
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:33,720
Speaker 2: blew up.

244
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,959
Speaker 3: Of course they did, because they fucking suck, telling me.

245
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,319
Speaker 2: How dare I talk to Anne and to revoke my

246
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,200
Speaker 2: invitation because if Anne doesn't want to talk to them,

247
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,960
Speaker 2: she doesn't deserve to be part of the family and

248
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,920
Speaker 2: should be allowed to join his family events. I hate

249
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,800
Speaker 2: all of you so much. They told me I shouldn't

250
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,240
Speaker 2: stick my nose in their family's business. My fiance sided

251
00:11:55,280 --> 00:12:00,360
Speaker 2: with his parents, telling me to just forget Anne. Please

252
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,360
Speaker 2: please divorce to this guy before it goes any further. Now,

253
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,480
Speaker 2: this all right, let's because this is divorce worthy, this

254
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:08,400
Speaker 2: is worth it.

255
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:12,120
Speaker 3: But if you have a kid that's mute.

256
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, your husband's probably gonna treat the kid the same way,

257
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,120
Speaker 1: or any kind of disability, you know, for the fans,

258
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:22,600
Speaker 1: can we give him one divorce chance divorse? That felt good,

259
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,920
Speaker 1: and he said to apologize to his parents.

260
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,600
Speaker 2: This angered me because I thought my fiance would have

261
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:30,000
Speaker 2: my back, and I yelled at them that I wasn't

262
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,920
Speaker 2: going to uninvite her, that she deserves to be treated better,

263
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:37,640
Speaker 2: which she does, my God, like like a human being

264
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,439
Speaker 2: because she is one. Since then, my family has been

265
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,120
Speaker 2: constantly telling me that I'm behaving like a child and

266
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,400
Speaker 2: throwing a tantrum and to apologize to his family for

267
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,560
Speaker 2: my behavior. But I just can't accept the way Anne

268
00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:52,080
Speaker 2: is treated. It also made me worry if we end

269
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,840
Speaker 2: up having children. So we were saying that's what we said.

270
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,120
Speaker 2: We said that we called it. Would my fiance treat

271
00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:00,000
Speaker 2: our child the same if they ended up having a disability?

272
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,319
Speaker 3: Do you have some kind good question.

273
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,640
Speaker 2: Some of my friends are also saying that I should

274
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 2: just let it go and not overreact so much, that

275
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,880
Speaker 2: every this is an underreaction. Who are these families and

276
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:12,680
Speaker 2: who are these friends? Delete them? That every family does

277
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,720
Speaker 2: things their own way, so I should just apologize and

278
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,880
Speaker 2: do as they tell me to prevent my relationship from suffering.

279
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,440
Speaker 3: See, I wish all of these other people were all

280
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:22,000
Speaker 3: so mute.

281
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,520
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole for inviting into my wedding

282
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,800
Speaker 2: after having learned how my fiance and his family think

283
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:28,319
Speaker 2: about her?

284
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,960
Speaker 3: Not at all? They are not at all? These friends?

285
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,840
Speaker 1: Is family so bad, so bad they don't know how

286
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,640
Speaker 1: to parent these friends, they're not good friends.

287
00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:39,320
Speaker 2: Like all around, everyone is terrible. Ope, you are doing

288
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,480
Speaker 2: the right thing, one hundred percent of the right. There

289
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,400
Speaker 2: is an update. Okay, let's get into it. I wanted

290
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,440
Speaker 2: to reply to everyone in the thread I made, but

291
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,880
Speaker 2: by the time I woke up, it had already been locked.

292
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,360
Speaker 2: Because of the word limit, I wasn't able to write clearly,

293
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,080
Speaker 2: and I'm sorry for that. I'm writing this to clarify

294
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,360
Speaker 2: a few things and give an update about calling child services.

295
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,920
Speaker 2: I don't live in America or Europe, and where I live,

296
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:03,240
Speaker 2: of child services isn't really great or reliable. I worry

297
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,560
Speaker 2: that if they get involved, it will end up being

298
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,480
Speaker 2: worse for Anne. A lot of people made the assumption

299
00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:10,640
Speaker 2: that Anne is locked up. That is not the case.

300
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:12,959
Speaker 2: She can go outside when she wants, has a phone,

301
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,640
Speaker 2: has a laptop and internet access. She even has a

302
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:18,200
Speaker 2: part time job. It is just that her family doesn't

303
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:22,120
Speaker 2: involve her with anything and they ignore her presence. Anne

304
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,600
Speaker 2: said to me that she tried to have a connection

305
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,120
Speaker 2: but gave up and is now just waiting until she

306
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,400
Speaker 2: can move out. Whenever I visit their home, it was

307
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,360
Speaker 2: only for a few hours at a time, and I

308
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,120
Speaker 2: just never had any reason to go upstairs until the

309
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,280
Speaker 2: bathroom at the ground floor is broken and I had

310
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,600
Speaker 2: to use the one upstairs. After I learned about her,

311
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,560
Speaker 2: I contacted her through social media for information on her

312
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,320
Speaker 2: being mute. She said it was a birth defect that

313
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:48,040
Speaker 2: caused her to be physically unable to make sounds. Apparently

314
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,160
Speaker 2: this is what the doctor told her parents when she

315
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,320
Speaker 2: was young, but they choose not to believe it.

316
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:57,560
Speaker 1: Wait, so the doctor actually gave some doctor advice and

317
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,960
Speaker 1: the parents aren't literally coming from this thing to it

318
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,000
Speaker 1: and the parents are like no.

319
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,080
Speaker 3: Now onto the update.

320
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,080
Speaker 2: Yesterday, I tried to have a serious talk with my fiance,

321
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,280
Speaker 2: but it resulted in another big fight, and I decided

322
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,440
Speaker 2: to break off the engagement.

323
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,760
Speaker 3: First good thing. I've heard this whole story.

324
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,960
Speaker 2: For real, and I guess OPI trying to reach out

325
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,520
Speaker 2: to Aya that was guilto. After having read all the replies,

326
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,440
Speaker 2: I finally started noticing the patterns and red flags in

327
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,920
Speaker 2: his behavior, and I feel stupid for not having seen

328
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,920
Speaker 2: them earlier. I said to him that if he ever

329
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,920
Speaker 2: wants a chance with me again, he needs to fix

330
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,080
Speaker 2: his and his family's behavior and start treating Anne better.

331
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,160
Speaker 2: I also said to him that if Anne is such

332
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,880
Speaker 2: a burden to them, to send her to my place instead.

333
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,560
Speaker 3: Wow, OPI, you are a real one. I don't know

334
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:42,520
Speaker 3: what will come of that.

335
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,680
Speaker 2: But I put the offer out there and I will

336
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:47,360
Speaker 2: send Ann this message as well. I'm now sending text

337
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,600
Speaker 2: messages to Anne a lot, so I will try to

338
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:50,640
Speaker 2: keep in contact.

339
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:51,440
Speaker 3: At least.

340
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,120
Speaker 2: Final update. People have been asking me for an update.

341
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,160
Speaker 2: Things have been busy, but I talked a lot with

342
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,200
Speaker 2: Ann this past week. Unfortunately, the situation hasn't gotten worse

343
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,320
Speaker 2: for her, but it also hasn't improved. We've been talking

344
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,280
Speaker 2: about getting her to live with me, but because she's

345
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,200
Speaker 2: a miner, just letting her stay with me could cause

346
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,000
Speaker 2: problems for parents to decide to spite me and report me,

347
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,800
Speaker 2: because it could be seen as kidnapping, like I'm removing

348
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,640
Speaker 2: a miner from their legal guardian supervisionship. We'd been looking

349
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,040
Speaker 2: at options to remove that problem, and adoption came up,

350
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,200
Speaker 2: so I've been looking into that approach. At first, I

351
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,720
Speaker 2: looked into just signing over custody to me, but apparently

352
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 2: that's very difficult when I'm not a family, and often

353
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,840
Speaker 2: only temporary. Because Anne wants it, I want it, and

354
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,320
Speaker 2: her parents would rather see her gone anyway, I send

355
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,160
Speaker 2: them an email about it, and I think they agreed

356
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,360
Speaker 2: so quickly because then they wouldn't have any responsibility for

357
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,440
Speaker 2: Ann anymore. Legally, there's a lot to do to make

358
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,760
Speaker 2: it official, and it'll take a few months or longer,

359
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,880
Speaker 2: but because I have this in writing now and we'll

360
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,560
Speaker 2: be moving in with me in June, it will be

361
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,280
Speaker 2: a bit hard at first because I don't have a

362
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,160
Speaker 2: say in anything until the adoption is actually done if

363
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,600
Speaker 2: it actually succeeds, so I can't register at a different

364
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,960
Speaker 2: school or different hospital.

365
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,160
Speaker 3: But we'll make it work somehow.

366
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,280
Speaker 2: In the meantime, I'm trying to learn sign language so

367
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,480
Speaker 2: we can communicate better, so hopefully that.

368
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,160
Speaker 3: Will go well too.

369
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,560
Speaker 2: For my ex fiance, I haven't talked to him since

370
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,680
Speaker 2: we broke off our engagement. He has sent me a

371
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,720
Speaker 2: lot of text messages about how unfair I'm treating him.

372
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,840
Speaker 2: How about how unfair you and your whole family treated

373
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,040
Speaker 2: your own freaking system for like my God and all

374
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:13,080
Speaker 2: that just because of someone I barely know. But I've

375
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:15,600
Speaker 2: been ignoring the texts, though for some reason, my brain

376
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,480
Speaker 2: keeps trying to make excuses for him and to excuse

377
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,320
Speaker 2: his behavior. I'm feeling sad and a bit lost now

378
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,920
Speaker 2: that our relationship ended, because I really thought I had

379
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,000
Speaker 2: found the one for me, but I guess he wasn't

380
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,920
Speaker 2: after all. I think it'll take a bit of time

381
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,320
Speaker 2: for me to really process these feelings. I guess it

382
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,520
Speaker 2: kind of feels like portrayal. It is a strange feeling.

383
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,760
Speaker 2: OPI did the right thing. OPI had a million percent

384
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,679
Speaker 2: did the right thing. Like OPI at the end of

385
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,240
Speaker 2: the day, didn't have to, you know, go for adoption

386
00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,159
Speaker 2: and try to take Anne in. So that was you

387
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,160
Speaker 2: know which, obviously that's a great move, but wasn't I think.

388
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:49,800
Speaker 1: Obligated to do that by like a saint for doing that,

389
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:50,720
Speaker 1: absolute saint.

390
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,040
Speaker 2: Ope, you should not feel guilty at all because you've

391
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,400
Speaker 2: really really life here, like in a big way, and

392
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,320
Speaker 2: I think told off a family that really deserves Yeah,

393
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:00,640
Speaker 2: all right.

394
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 3: Let's get into the next one. Let's do it.