1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, And if 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, parenting, sex and more, 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,400 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: and we will certainly try to help you out do 5 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,640 Speaker 1: what we can to help you. Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, 6 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: is time for the Strawberry Letter. Well, my good friend 7 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:27,240 Speaker 1: Shirley Strawberry, thank you junior subject. He wants two and 8 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: I do too. Just Stephen, Shirley. I've been in an 9 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:33,880 Speaker 1: open relationship with a great man for almost three years. 10 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: He's been considerate of the way we chose to structure 11 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: our relationship until a few months ago. To me, no 12 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:44,239 Speaker 1: one can be truly faithful, so I chose to be 13 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 1: open with my boyfriend. If we're attempted to have sex 14 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: with other people, we're always honest with each other. Until 15 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: recently when I caught him out with another woman and 16 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: she said he was her boyfriend. I know the girl 17 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 1: because she works with him, and he always called her 18 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 1: out for acting too black or trying to date black men. Yes, 19 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 1: she is white. He admitted that he's been hooking up 20 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 1: with her. I asked him to bring her over to 21 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,960 Speaker 1: the house. If that's the case, but he won't share 22 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: her with me, which made me think he likes her. 23 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 1: I told him, if this is how things are going 24 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:22,600 Speaker 1: to be, he can move out and I'll just move 25 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,760 Speaker 1: on with my life. He swore that he'd stopped messing 26 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:29,400 Speaker 1: with her. I was still skeptical, so I started seeing 27 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: a guy I met at the gym. I had never 28 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,960 Speaker 1: done anything behind my man's back, so it was new 29 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: and exciting. The sex with this guy was amazing, and 30 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,320 Speaker 1: he started wanting to see me more and more, so 31 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: I was making up a lie after lie to sneak 32 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: out and be with him. I finally told the guy 33 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 1: that I was in an open relationship and I couldn't 34 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 1: totally commit to him. Then I admitted to my boyfriend 35 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 1: that I was sneaking around. He said he was still 36 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 1: seeing the white girl, and I was so hurt. He 37 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: told me that I had to leave my side piece alone. 38 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 1: I told him, if he can have two, then I 39 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 1: want to too. He told me that I can't do 40 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: what he does, and he threatened to break up with me. 41 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 1: I really love my boyfriend, but I don't feel valued. 42 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: Am I stupid for being in this open lifestyle? Yes? Yes, yes, 43 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 1: and uh, yes, you're stupid for all of this. I mean, 44 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,360 Speaker 1: you're stupid for believing that he stops seeing the white 45 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: girl and you were hurt. Why you know what kind 46 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: of relationship you're in? H are you are? You're stupid 47 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 1: for letting him control the way you live your life. Okay, 48 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: I know it's a double standard in the world. I 49 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 1: got that, But it's not okay for him to cheat 50 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 1: and then try to control who you see outside of 51 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: your relationship. Isn't at the very point of an open 52 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: relationship seeing and sleeping with who you want to and 53 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 1: doing what you want. Otherwise it's not an open relationship, right, 54 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: thank your whole relationship. It's stupid, quite honestly, and there's 55 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,959 Speaker 1: no future in it for you. You live with the 56 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 1: cheater who's trying to justify his cheating by saying you 57 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: guys are in an open relationship, but in reality, he's 58 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: the only one open. He doesn't want you to be open. 59 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: So look, get out of this mess please, And yes, 60 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: this is all stupid. Steve, Wow, you know what amazes 61 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:32,360 Speaker 1: me when people write a letter to us feel with 62 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: wrong and then wants something right to happen out of it. 63 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: I don't even see how you think all this. I'm 64 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: gonna read this letter, and I've circled unbelievable statements. Okay, 65 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 1: let me see. I wish I had a sound effect. Dan, 66 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: I need a bell. I think we have a bell. 67 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: He wants to and I do too. Her. When I 68 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 1: say bail, can you hit it instantly? Okay? Here we go? 69 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: All right? You know, it always amazes me that we 70 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: get these letters that come in fill with so much 71 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:24,599 Speaker 1: wrong and unbelievable remarks, comments and statements, and they want 72 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 1: us to make some good out of it and some 73 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: rightness out of it. Right, So I'm gonna read this letter. 74 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask for bail every time I'm about to 75 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 1: say something unbelievable. Still, Shirley and Steve, Bill, I've been 76 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 1: in an open relationship with a great man for almost 77 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 1: three years. Did you hear that? I've been in an 78 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: open relationship with a great man for three years? Bail. 79 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: He's been considerate of the way we choose to structure 80 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 1: our relationship until a few months ago. Bill to me, 81 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: no one can be truly faithful, Oh my god, so 82 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:27,559 Speaker 1: all marriages are dumed. So I choose to be open 83 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 1: with my boyfriend. And if we're attempted to have sex 84 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 1: with other people, Bill, we just always be honest with 85 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 1: each other, and we are attempted to have sex with 86 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: other people, that goes to faithfulness out the window. Okay, 87 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 1: hang on, Steve, right there, right there, it's a good 88 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,799 Speaker 1: place to stop, okay, because we gotta take a break 89 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: at twenty three minutes to have to be our will 90 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: come back and we'll have part two of Steve's response too. 91 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 1: He wants to and I do too. That is the subject. 92 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:12,720 Speaker 1: We'll be right back after this. You're listening, all right, 93 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject 94 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,479 Speaker 1: he wants to and I do too. You know, like 95 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: I said earlier, you right, Shirley and I with these 96 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:26,039 Speaker 1: ridiculous statements, these crazy all this wrong going on, and 97 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,240 Speaker 1: at the end of it you want something good to 98 00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:30,359 Speaker 1: come out of it and want us to solve a 99 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 1: raggedy ass problem. Well, we're not gonna do it today. 100 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 1: But what we're all going to do is show you 101 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: how raggedy this thing is. I'm gonna ring a bell 102 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: every time I'm about to read something unbelievable. Ready, here 103 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: we go, just Steven Shelley Bell. I've been in an 104 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: open relationship with a great man for almost three years. Okay, Bell, 105 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: He's been considerate of the way we choose to structure 106 00:06:54,880 --> 00:07:00,600 Speaker 1: our relationship. I bet he has until a few months ago. 107 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:08,039 Speaker 1: Bill to me, no one can be truly faithful, So 108 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: I choose to be open with my boyfriend Bell. If 109 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: we're tempted to have sex with other people, we always 110 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: be honest with each other. And too recently I called 111 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 1: him out with another woman and she said he was 112 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: her boyfriend. I know the girl because he worked with him, 113 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: and he always called out for being too black and 114 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: trying to date black men. Yes, she is white, Bill. 115 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: He admitted that he's been hooking up with her. Wait 116 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: a minute, didn't you just say y'all in a relationship, 117 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: y'all in an old relationship? Where is the surprise? When 118 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: he admitted to hook it up with her? I asked who? 119 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 1: I don't know whether Bell. I asked him to bring 120 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: her over to the house if that's the case, but 121 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 1: he won't share her with me. What which made me 122 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 1: think he likes her? I told him, if this is 123 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 1: how things it's gonna be, Bail, he can move out 124 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: and I just move on with my life. I ain't 125 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 1: know y'all standing together, he swore, Bill, He swattered, he 126 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: stopped messing with her. I was still skeptical. Oh so 127 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: you think all of a sudden, he don't lie. He 128 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: achieve y'all in the old relationship. But lying is out 129 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: the question. What Wait a minute, he ain't posed to lie. 130 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: He can spread itself all around town. He just can't lie. 131 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:03,080 Speaker 1: He swattered, he stopped messing with her. I'm still skeptical. Bell. 132 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 1: So I started seeing the guy I met in my jail. 133 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: I've never done anything behind my man's back, so this 134 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:18,200 Speaker 1: was you and excitement. The sex with the guy was amazed, 135 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 1: and he started wanting to see more and more. Bell. 136 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 1: So I started making up lie after lie to sneak 137 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:31,320 Speaker 1: out with him. You was just a pall that your 138 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: man would lie. But yall can sleep around, screw anybody 139 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: you want to screw, and then when you lie about it. Now, 140 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 1: that's what I finally told the guy that I was 141 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 1: in the open relationship and couldn't totally commit to him. Bell. 142 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 1: Then I admitted to my boyfriend that I was sneaking 143 00:09:55,160 --> 00:10:00,559 Speaker 1: around Bell. He said he was still you'll seeing the 144 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: white girl. Bail. He told me I had to leave 145 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: my side piece alone. Bill. I told him, if he 146 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:18,760 Speaker 1: could have two, then I want to too. Bill. He 147 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: told me I can't do what he does, and he 148 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: threatened to break up with me. Wait a minute, break up? What? Yeah, Bail, 149 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:37,959 Speaker 1: I really love my boyfriend? Oh my god? Whatever, there's 150 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: no love in they say love way reading. I know, Bill, 151 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: but I don't feel value. Wait a minute. Oh, you 152 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:58,280 Speaker 1: won't value. Now you're passing yourself around like potato chips, 153 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 1: but you won't. You LAIDs can't just eat one. But 154 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,559 Speaker 1: now you want to be valued? Yo? Man, No, you're 155 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 1: passing your tail out all around town. Now you want value? 156 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Bail? Am I stupid for being 157 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:30,480 Speaker 1: in this open lifestyle? No? I just thank you stupid? Period? 158 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: What what was this letter about? How do you come 159 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 1: to me and Shirley and go? Am I stupid for 160 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: being in this open lifestyle? High is working out for you? Yeah? 161 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:50,199 Speaker 1: But Steve one more thing. Stop writing us if you're 162 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: gonna do wrong and then at the end want me 163 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: and Shirley to make it right. So what was you 164 00:11:56,559 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 1: gonna ask me? I was gonna ask you when when 165 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,560 Speaker 1: he when he told her he was still seeing the 166 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 1: white girl and she was so hurt. Yeah, what is 167 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:11,840 Speaker 1: you hurtful? What ain't you got the man at the jail? Yeah? 168 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 1: Am I stupid? Yes? Write us no mo All right? Listen, 169 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 1: leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and 170 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,079 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM, and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast 171 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 1: on demand. Please coming up next day, it's Junior and 172 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 1: Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the Stave 173 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,400 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show