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Speaker 1: This is the pread show. Kelly Clark City is returning

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Speaker 1: twenty fourth show, a two night hotel state at Flamingo

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Speaker 1: Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas July twenty third through

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Speaker 1: the twenty fifth and round trip airfare. Text Hazel right

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Speaker 1: now for a chance to win. A confirmation text will

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Speaker 1: be sent standard message and data rates may apply. All

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Speaker 1: thanks to Live Nation o Chasinko is. It is a

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Speaker 1: wealth of perspectives. And last week it was Raleigah. He

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Speaker 1: firmly believes that he had hung out multiple times in

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Speaker 1: a place called Raleigh, North Carolina. And actually there was

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Speaker 1: one TV station, I believe it was WRAL in Raleiah

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Speaker 1: that went and did a whole promo, a whole thing

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Speaker 1: where they like change, They had the announcer guy going

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Speaker 1: now the Raleigh five News at five or they did

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Speaker 1: the whole thing pretending as though they had they had

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Speaker 1: been saying the name of the city Raleigh wrong the

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Speaker 1: whole time. Really well done. But here he is again,

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Speaker 1: I thought that I had seen this clip before, but

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Speaker 1: maybe this is just they're revisiting the topic. But this

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Speaker 1: is Ocho Cinco and Shannit Sharp. I have it right here, Paulina, Beautiful.

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Speaker 1: This this is them talking about a reason that a

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Speaker 1: petty reason that Ocho Cinco did not go out with

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Speaker 1: a woman. Again, listen to this hour today, the pedious

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Speaker 1: reason you stopped dating somewhat.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I remember that.

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Speaker 1: I remember that easy I had. I was dating this chick.

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Speaker 2: Man, She's just go ahead to get mad. I would

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Speaker 2: date this chick, right, Yeah, you know you got to understand.

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Speaker 2: You know, we engaged in a conversation. I told I

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Speaker 2: was gonna pick up and I went to the house.

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Speaker 2: And you know how I am. I'm very open by

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Speaker 2: the way.

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Speaker 1: I feel that way almost every day when I tell

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Speaker 1: a story on this show. I'm sure you guys do too.

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Speaker 1: Where it's like you stopped for about a quarter second, like,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell this story. Is is it worth the

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Speaker 1: backlash I'm going to get in my personal life. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's just gonna have to get mad, or he's just

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Speaker 1: gonna have to get mad. It happens every day, so

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Speaker 1: I know what he's going through.

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Speaker 2: I'm very open with everything and in the way I

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Speaker 2: move as far as using the bathroom, you know how

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Speaker 2: you say you don't play that or I don't care.

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Speaker 2: I went to use a restroom. I want to do

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Speaker 2: number one I missed before we leave Bump. Let me

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Speaker 2: use a restaurant real quick. I went to go pee.

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Speaker 2: I look at the toilet tissue. She got one plot? Oh,

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Speaker 2: she got one plot toilet tissue? How you want me

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Speaker 2: to take you to Chris Ruth?

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Speaker 3: Okay, Chris.

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Speaker 1: Me, you only have one toilet paper? You classless person?

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Speaker 1: You want me to take you to Chris Ruth. And

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Speaker 1: he keeps going, but he wasn't kidding. He really thinks

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Speaker 1: the place is called Chris Ruth. By the way, we

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Speaker 1: can't tell.

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Speaker 2: You you're not even taking your high giene serious because

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Speaker 2: you got one plant in here.

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Speaker 1: You want me to take you to Chris Ruth.

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Speaker 2: Like your priorities is all mixed up, like doing what

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Speaker 2: are we doing? Like at least have two plot toilet

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Speaker 2: tissue in your bathroom when you have gas that let

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Speaker 2: me serious?

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Speaker 3: Then let me know you're not serious about your hygiene exactly.

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Speaker 2: But if you ain't got it, like the water hen

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Speaker 2: you want to go eat a steakhouse.

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Speaker 1: Like Chris Ruth. Yeah, but no, I don't need you to.

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Speaker 2: I need you to be an asset, not liability. Let's

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Speaker 2: let's start from the ground up. Let's work going, get

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Speaker 2: you two plying here, and then it will work our

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Speaker 2: way going with the nice steakhouse, eat that that? Uh

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Speaker 2: that that Chris, that's not even for my palette.

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Speaker 1: But here you go.

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Speaker 3: I'm ready to try to take you serious.

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Speaker 2: I was willing to go to you know, and that

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Speaker 2: just that threw everything off.

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Speaker 1: Like what are we doing? I'll tell you though, for

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Speaker 1: my dollar. Chris Ruth is delicious.

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Speaker 4: Did he come out, yeah, the bathroom and say like

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Speaker 4: we're going to McDonald's.

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Speaker 3: Like, how did that go? After that? Well?

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Speaker 1: I would love to know what comes to mind? Eight

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Speaker 1: five five five three five. What is the pettiest reason

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Speaker 1: that you can think of?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 1: Call us your text test that you qualified somebody from

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Speaker 1: being any life romantically. I can tell you one right now.

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Speaker 1: There is at least one first name I can think

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Speaker 1: of that is just qualified. I can't date you because

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Speaker 1: someone else has that name that I don't like. And

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Speaker 1: hear I'm about to do the thing where someone's gonna

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Speaker 1: get mad. Someone's gonna get mad. But if you put

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Speaker 1: the first and then this is awful. It actually makes

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Speaker 1: probably makes me a bad person. But if you put

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Speaker 1: the person's first name and last name together, if we

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Speaker 1: were to get married, it reminds me of someone I

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Speaker 1: don't particularly care for, so I would I can't do that,

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Speaker 1: like I couldn't. I couldn't do that. I couldn't make

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Speaker 1: you my wife and give you the last name and

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Speaker 1: then you oh no, huhuh no, and then be reminded

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Speaker 1: of that my whole life. No, So no, there are

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Speaker 1: there is, There are people with a particular first name

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Speaker 1: that it would take everything I have. You would have

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Speaker 1: to really, what was it again, be an asset not

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Speaker 1: a liability in order for me to date you with

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Speaker 1: that name, because I don't want to be remind of it.

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Speaker 1: And I think there are probably a few names of

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Speaker 1: access too that would be a little tenuous, you know,

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Speaker 1: where it's like, ah, man, I gotta call that person that.

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Speaker 1: But that reminds me of something bad. I think that's

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Speaker 1: pretty petty.

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Speaker 5: That is petty because like you know, a person can't

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Speaker 5: help their name.

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Speaker 1: I know, for you know, you can choose this.

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Speaker 4: You can't fix it right, No, go to ply is

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Speaker 4: different than changing it, and I.

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Speaker 5: Would appreciate that either. Like I got to stand up

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Speaker 5: for the One Fly Warriors. There's nothing wrong with your

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Speaker 5: hygiene because you like one fly?

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Speaker 1: Okayy, why would you? I mean, I understand budgetary reasons,

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Speaker 1: but why would you choose to buy one Ply? And

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Speaker 1: aren't there other areas that we save in order to

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Speaker 1: make sure we're getting a good grip on what's going

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Speaker 1: on down there?

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Speaker 3: Save listen.

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Speaker 5: I don't feel like it's a monetary issue. It's just

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Speaker 5: that some people like a stern wipe, you know, like

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Speaker 5: I like a rough wipe.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to leave anything behind.

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Speaker 1: Why are you using to a toilet sand paper? You

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Speaker 1: want a home depot?

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Speaker 3: Do you do our sandpaper?

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Speaker 6: Like?

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Speaker 3: Get it all out of there.

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Speaker 5: I don't like a fluffy toilet papers, leave it behind,

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Speaker 5: cotton in this furry and all that.

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Speaker 3: I don't need that. So I don't appreciate him.

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Speaker 5: With his what do you call it, ruth, Chris Chris Ruth?

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Speaker 5: Like I don't want to go to Chris Ruth either. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: So leave the one Plant Warriors alone. We mind our business.

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Speaker 5: We're not even bothering anybody, so same on him.

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Speaker 3: We have long nails. Are you telling me it doesn't

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Speaker 3: pop through that one plant?

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Speaker 7: No?

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Speaker 5: And you're like like you got to wrap you. You

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Speaker 5: know how to do it and you get it good.

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Speaker 5: I like a one plan.

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Speaker 3: I don't need you know whatever.

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Speaker 1: I don't know who would choose one ply, I don't

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Speaker 1: know who would choose that.

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Speaker 3: It chooses you, Yes, okay.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know. There's got to be some other area. Again,

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Speaker 1: this isn't like a like a socio economic thing. There's

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Speaker 1: got to be some other area of your life that

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Speaker 1: you can save in order to have a little girth

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Speaker 1: to the little a little mass to the toilet paper.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 5: I choose that life like it's not a it's not anything.

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Speaker 5: Make a choice to come over to your house.

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Speaker 1: If I came to your house and had to go

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Speaker 1: number two, that would be a much we have a

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Speaker 1: much bigger problem on our hands. I would be mortified.

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Speaker 1: Well I would, yeah, Hey, Joanna, good morning's good morning, Joanna.

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Speaker 1: You the pettiest reason that you didn't date someone?

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Speaker 8: Well, I met him at a bar and he's hitting

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Speaker 8: on me. He has for my number.

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Speaker 9: We have saint's numbers, and he pops up in my

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Speaker 9: phone with a big n oh next to his name,

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Speaker 9: so I had already met him before. And the reason

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Speaker 9: and the notes was he drank a white claw.

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Speaker 1: So you have notes in your phone like you next

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Speaker 1: to a contact of a reason why you don't talk

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Speaker 1: to someone anymore.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, because he.

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Speaker 8: Pops backed up and I didn't even recognize him. If

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Speaker 8: I hadn't a bad note, I would have gone out

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Speaker 8: with him again.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Wow, So he he drank the wrong kind of drink.

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Speaker 1: He drank white law. So we're done with him.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what's wrong with that?

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 8: I drink like craft, I p a beers.

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Speaker 1: Okay, tastes like dirty laundry. I got it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, hang with me. We drink cut wines.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a high noon atable, like if it's because

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Speaker 1: it's all natural or whatever, it's a high noon better.

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Speaker 8: It's a little bit better.

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Speaker 9: But whatever.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Okay, Well we did say petty, and you delivered petty.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Joan, I have delivered. So what is this?

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I don't understand. People said I. I've had

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Speaker 1: septic my whole life and I have to use one

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Speaker 1: play what does that have to do. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what that means, like a septic tank instead of like

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Speaker 1: a septic tank, So you need like something that disintegrates

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Speaker 1: more easily, right, so it doesn't mess up your tank.

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Speaker 7: Right.

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Speaker 3: So we're saying in the world, really well.

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Speaker 1: If I don't think the warriors, I think where you live.

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Speaker 1: But okay, a lot of seconds. Charlotte, Hi there, Charlotte

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Speaker 1: from Charlotte. Yeah, you're listening to you're listening to us,

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Speaker 1: and we have one.

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Speaker 3: We have Charlotte, beautiful woman.

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Speaker 1: God. Yeah, Caitlin Caylen. If you would have described Charlotte

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Speaker 1: to anyone who's ever seen her before, Charlotte from Charlotte,

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Speaker 1: how would you describe her? We got one.

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Speaker 3: She's a supermodel. She Charlotte. Are you talking about Charlotte

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Speaker 3: from Charlotte. Charlotte from Charlotte.

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Speaker 1: Charlotte one she used to show.

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Speaker 3: I mean, people just hand her toilet paper everywhere she

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Speaker 3: goes on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Charlotte from Charlotte walking around here with one ply.

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Speaker 1: It's absolutely not she got that big role, you know.

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Speaker 1: Charlotte from Charlotte. Welcome, you are listening. You are listener

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Speaker 1: number one of one at this point. But we're you know,

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Speaker 1: we got a long way to go. But what uh,

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Speaker 1: what is the petty reason that you stopped dating.

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Speaker 8: Somebody she had small and soft hands? Bottle couldn't do it?

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Speaker 8: The soft hands probably, I mean they were buttery smooth.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I would think the small hands would be more concerning

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Speaker 1: than the soft hands. But so you want a guy

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Speaker 1: that like, like has hands like you rubbed him on

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Speaker 1: a you know, like he goes to the ground or

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Speaker 1: something folded before he came in.

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Speaker 10: I mean, I don't want you to like freshly lotion

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Speaker 10: them right before we're hanging out, and I'm like, my

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Speaker 10: hands slipper right off of them.

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Speaker 3: That's right, girl, that's right. Charltne I like a man ashy. Yes,

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Speaker 3: let me know you work in.

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Speaker 1: Right under the nails? Yeah great? Really Okay, that's interesting

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Speaker 1: because somebody else texted that they did they disqualified a

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Speaker 1: guy for having like messed up nails. Yeah, not properly

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Speaker 1: cut her dirty or whatever. And so you're saying, but

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Speaker 1: you want to you want a dude who is like

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Speaker 1: it just got the construction site, like maybe a little

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Speaker 1: bit of b oh, I know, but don't lotion whatever

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Speaker 1: you do, like take a shower, but don't but you

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Speaker 1: make sure. Yeah, okay, all right, fair enough Charlotte from show.

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Speaker 1: Listen to number one in show and thank you. Have

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Speaker 1: a good day you too, Yeah, I mean they give

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Speaker 1: us the winners man. I'll tell you what. We start

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Speaker 1: with zero everywhere we go, we start with zero, you guys.

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Speaker 1: But we got one, so that's all that matters. A

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Speaker 1: lot of people are texting saying they agree with you,

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Speaker 1: Kiki about one ply I know, shout out to us.

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Speaker 1: The paper is too much. I'm with Kiki, Wow.

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Speaker 5: Lingering you take off a layer ski and every time.

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Speaker 1: Make sure one way to make sure nothing is left.

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Speaker 1: Take your still off pelts layer on the way. Yeah

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Speaker 1: more Fred show. Next, This is the Fread Show. Kelly

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Speaker 1: Clark City is returning to Las Vegas in twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: six for her Studio Sessions Las Vegas Residency. You can

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Speaker 1: Vegas July twenty third through the twenty fifth, and round

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Speaker 1: win a confirmation text will be sent Standard message and

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Speaker 1: data rates may apply. All thanks to Live Nations, Stay

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Speaker 1: or go, Hi Kelly, Good morning, Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: How are you?

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Speaker 6: Hi?

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Speaker 1: Hi Kelly? What's going on? You know people at WHOA

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Speaker 1: Whoa on the train tracks What's going on the Cool

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Speaker 1: Tug vote Hello?

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Speaker 7: Yeah? Hi?

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Speaker 1: No, what is going on with you? Kelly? People hit

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Speaker 1: us up on all the socials on their website and

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Speaker 1: they tell us their relationship problems, and then we feature them.

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Speaker 1: We feature a relationship problem every Tuesday, and we talk

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Speaker 1: about you behind your back, Kelly. What's going on?

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Speaker 7: So? I need?

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Speaker 6: I need some advice. I started dating my boyfriend like

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Speaker 6: six months ago.

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Speaker 8: We both have kids, and he is going on a

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Speaker 8: vacation with his ex and his kids.

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Speaker 6: They try to do this like one seater and I'm

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Speaker 6: fine with it, but my friends are like leaving their minds.

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Speaker 8: They're like, he's so disrespectful.

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Speaker 6: That's weird. And I think it would be weird for

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Speaker 6: me to go with my children.

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Speaker 3: It's just too new.

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Speaker 8: But now they've got in my head and I want

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Speaker 8: to know.

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Speaker 6: Like I want other people's perspective because I know my

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Speaker 6: friends and like they love me. They will protect me,

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Speaker 6: but I don't feel like I need the protection. I

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Speaker 6: just I want to know what other people think, Like

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Speaker 6: what am I supposed to do?

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Speaker 1: Pauline, it's always little friends, it's meddling.

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Speaker 3: It is always a little friends.

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Speaker 11: But in this case, I kind of need the little

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Speaker 11: friends to step in that crazy.

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Speaker 1: So your friends are You're dating a guy that has

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Speaker 1: an X and has kids with the ex, and your

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Speaker 1: friends are concerned about I just want to say it

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Speaker 1: the way that I'm feeling. They're worried about the fact

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Speaker 1: that he has a functioning relationship with his ex wife

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Speaker 1: or girlfriend with whom he has kids, and that he's

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Speaker 1: making an effort to keep a family unit together even

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Speaker 1: though the primary relationship didn't work. I just want to

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Speaker 1: be clear about this. So it would be better if

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Speaker 1: it was completely dysfunctional and they hated each other and

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Speaker 1: they couldn't do anything together.

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Speaker 6: Okay, See that's just what I think that I think

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Speaker 6: it's totally normal. But my friends are convinced that he's

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Speaker 6: like cooking up with today.

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Speaker 1: Well, your friends are insecure. I mean, why is it

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Speaker 1: inherent that if two people are together who have in

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Speaker 1: this case, they have a reason to be together it's

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Speaker 1: the children. Why can't there be boundaries? I actually would think.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not telling you I would love this,

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Speaker 1: but I'm also saying to you that I think it's

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Speaker 1: a far better sign than situations that I am aware

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Speaker 1: of or have been involved with, where people have kids

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Speaker 1: with someone they hate. I mean, the toxicity there is

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Speaker 1: life changing. And in this case, they're doing the best

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Speaker 1: they can to keep, you know, keep things somewhat regular

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Speaker 1: and normal for the for the kids that they have.

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Speaker 1: And who is to say that in another six months,

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Speaker 1: when you guys have been together for a year or something,

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Speaker 1: that maybe you don't all go together. How healthy would that?

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Speaker 1: Oh I'm sure your friends will think that's weird too,

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Speaker 1: but that would be very healthy and very functioning. I

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Speaker 1: think if you guys were all even to pull this

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Speaker 1: off together.

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Speaker 9: Yes, okay, thank you.

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Speaker 6: So this is exactly I completely agree. We talked about

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Speaker 6: me going on this Trist, but I think it's too

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Speaker 6: soon that you know, my kids have not met his kids.

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Speaker 6: This would be a weird time. But like that he

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Speaker 6: invited me to me, says that he's not doing anything

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Speaker 6: weird with her.

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Speaker 1: I can't stand the insecurity sometimes. Let me take some

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Speaker 1: phone calls on this because I don't know if anyone's

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Speaker 1: probably someone listening is going through something like this or

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Speaker 1: is on one side or the other end that they've

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Speaker 1: they've been able to pull this off or they haven't

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Speaker 1: for whatever reason. But have the radio on Cally and

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Speaker 1: thank you for calling you good luck with everything.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you?

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Speaker 1: Eight five three five. Guys, what do you think in

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Speaker 1: the room. But I would love to hear call and

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Speaker 1: text the same number. I'd love to hear what you think,

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Speaker 1: especially if you've encountered something like this, because again, there

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Speaker 1: was no way when my parents got divorced when we

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Speaker 1: were young, there was absolutely no way they were doing

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Speaker 1: anything together. I mean it was to the point where

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Speaker 1: they had to divide. Well my father didn't go to much,

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Speaker 1: but like you know, sporting events or family days or

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Speaker 1: they couldn't even go to the same one together. And

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Speaker 1: if they did, it was like I was as a kid,

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Speaker 1: I was like, please behave you know, which is kind

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Speaker 1: of a I'm not gonna say dramatic, but it's a

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Speaker 1: really unfortunate thing for a to be like I please,

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Speaker 1: please don't do it. Can you guys get along and

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Speaker 1: not be idiots? You know, no, no, no, no, no, But

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Speaker 1: I just mean the fact that they're not doing that

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Speaker 1: and that they can pull this off and have a

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Speaker 1: boundaried relationship, I'm assuming. I think that's a really good

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Speaker 1: sign already so many steps ahead they are.

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Speaker 11: And she kind of lost me because she said that

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Speaker 11: they've talked about her going, so she had an in again.

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Speaker 3: She it's her twitch, she wants to go.

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Speaker 11: Six months can be a lot to some people, it's

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Speaker 11: a little to some other people. So I feel like

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Speaker 11: she had the option to go. She's like, I don't

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Speaker 11: feel like it's time. Yeah, I'm not ready to do

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Speaker 11: that perfectly. Fine, So then you're right. The little friend's

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Speaker 11: need to say out of it. The invite was there,

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Speaker 11: she could go.

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Speaker 5: Did she clarify if they're sharing the same room, I

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Speaker 5: don't know if I missed.

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Speaker 1: It, No, I mean that would be inappropriate. I think

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Speaker 1: if they slept in the same bed, I do think

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Speaker 1: that would be not boundaried. But I mean, if they're

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Speaker 1: doing it for the sake of the kids, and they're

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Speaker 1: getting along, or they're getting along well enough to be

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Speaker 1: able to do this, I have a feeling that that's

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Speaker 1: a co parenting dream.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're in the same room. If they're going to

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Speaker 3: do it, they can do it in one room or

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Speaker 3: the other.

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Speaker 4: They can do it then, right, they could do.

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Speaker 3: It in the studio. I don't know.

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Speaker 5: I'm in the same room. Makes a difference for me.

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Speaker 5: I don't care what you can do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, with that six month relationship. You claim that

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Speaker 1: the purpose of this trip is to co parent, But

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Speaker 1: if you're sleeping in the same bed together, that's more

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Speaker 1: like an open relationship. That's about it.

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Speaker 3: We got a family room for the kids.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, for the kids. Honestly, I love this. I

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Speaker 1: love that they're making that effort. I love that. I

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Speaker 1: love that they can put it. They can put the

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Speaker 1: whatever their issues were aside. And I don't know if

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Speaker 1: it was toxic or if it was just one of

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Speaker 1: the one of those relationships where people say, hey, we're

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Speaker 1: not for each other anymore, or whatever it was, whatever

403
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Speaker 1: the case may be, they're putting the family unit. They're

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Speaker 1: putting the kids above themselves, and it's transparent and it's

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Speaker 1: open and it's communicative. And I don't I think the friends.

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Speaker 1: I think there's probably some friend who's really insecure, who's

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Speaker 1: giving her really bad advice, which is there's always one always.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean, Jason, You're like you're like moaning

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Speaker 1: and groaning over there.

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Speaker 3: No, I mean, I I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I mean I get I'm also very insecure, so I

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Speaker 4: would be a worry war it no matter what. But

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Speaker 4: I think if you want that relationship to progress, you

414
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Speaker 4: have to trust that it's gonna be okay because the

415
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Speaker 4: situation is better than it could be in relation to

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Speaker 4: co parenting. So it's like if you want that to

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Speaker 4: be part of your life, you kind of just have

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Speaker 4: to trust it. But I would be home sweating bullets.

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Speaker 4: I just I just know it, just because I know

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Speaker 4: how I am.

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Speaker 1: I mean, the alternative is, and there's probably something in

422
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Speaker 1: the middle, but the alternative is the other extreme. Maybe

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Speaker 1: is that this guy's constantly complaining to her about how

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Speaker 1: much he hates his baby mom and how difficult life

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Speaker 1: is because of her and how and how she's always grew.

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Speaker 1: And it's like that level of toxicity, whether it's kids

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Speaker 1: or whether it's just an ex or whatever, that that

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Speaker 1: adds complexity and stress to a relationship that doesn't I

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Speaker 1: think it's healthy if they can get along, oh for sure,

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Speaker 1: versus the alternative. Hey, Sam, how you doing.

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Speaker 7: Good?

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Speaker 4: How are you?

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Speaker 6: Hi?

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Speaker 1: Sam? So this is your scenario and I'm good. Thanks

435
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 1: for asking. This is your scenario. You're you're living this?

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Speaker 12: Yeah, I have kids and my girlfriend has kids from

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Speaker 12: different people.

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Speaker 1: Okay, and what are the terms?

439
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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: How does this work? Do you do you and your

441
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,679
Speaker 1: ex get get along with the other people respectively? And

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Speaker 1: do you do you do things separate and together? How

443
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:25,640
Speaker 1: does it work?

444
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:27,400
Speaker 6: Yeah?

445
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:32,199
Speaker 12: We made it work, but it's very complex. It's very complicated.

446
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 12: There's so many moving parts and so many feelings to consider.

447
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:40,879
Speaker 12: You're you're forced to take things very slow and to

448
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 12: jump into something like that like so soon. It's a

449
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 12: brand new relationship. You have to be very careful. But

450
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 12: I agree with you though she's in a good spot.

451
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 12: She's in a much better place with the guy that

452
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 12: has a healthy relationship with the next and her friends

453
00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,200
Speaker 12: just sound like they're talking through insecurity.

454
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 1: It does seem that way. Thank you, Sam, have a

455
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 1: great day, Thanks for listening, and good luck with everything.

456
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,879
Speaker 1: All right. Yeah, I mean we've all probably been with

457
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 1: the person who hates their ex and it always seems

458
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,199
Speaker 1: to overshadow everything. And then when you've got kids. The

459
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 1: ex is never going away. I mean really not really.

460
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,440
Speaker 1: They're always going to be at something, at least until

461
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,080
Speaker 1: the kids turn eighteen. Then it's probably going to be

462
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:25,879
Speaker 1: weddings and you know, grandkids and the rest of it.

463
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 1: So it's like, you know, the fact you can hate

464
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 1: someone forever, but that's going to affect the bystander. So

465
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,480
Speaker 1: the fact that they're getting along as long as I can,

466
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 1: as long as there are like ground rules. Hey Sena, yes,

467
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 1: Hey hey Sina, Hey, good morning. What do you think

468
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:42,439
Speaker 1: say or go?

469
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 6: I say to stay. I'm in the same situation my ex.

470
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 3: We have two kids.

471
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,120
Speaker 6: We split up to get it to set and work

472
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 6: out between us, and the first year was a little tough.

473
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 6: But now we're three years out. I have a living boyfriend.

474
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 6: He now has a girlfriend. We hang out, we go drinking,

475
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,679
Speaker 6: we talk, we work together. No court systems involved, everything

476
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,200
Speaker 6: else with the kid. Yeah, and it's all about the

477
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 6: kids at the end of the day, and we're mature goals.

478
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 3: She has to look at it that way.

479
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 6: I just hate some people are not nine.

480
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I think there's some insecure I think there's

481
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,960
Speaker 1: some rejection going on here. But sheda thank you have

482
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 1: a great day and thank you for calling it, for

483
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,879
Speaker 1: listening to Kelly. Hi, Kelly, you say that none of

484
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 1: this is normal. It is not normal for people to

485
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 1: go back this way.

486
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 10: Hi, good morning guys. Okay, so I say this as

487
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 10: a divorced person. I've been divorced. How old are you

488
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,920
Speaker 10: she's she's nine. We've worked for eight years.

489
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, who are you? Mind your business?

490
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:52,679
Speaker 10: You know, love it and and we have a great relationship.

491
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 10: My ex and I do, like we co parent really well.

492
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 10: Like we've been at baseball games and you know, people

493
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 10: don't know we're divorced because like we sit together, you know,

494
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:00,679
Speaker 10: I see his parents.

495
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 3: We have a great relationship.

496
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:06,120
Speaker 10: We don't travel, we don't do holidays together because we're

497
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 10: not married.

498
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 3: That is what you do when you are married.

499
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 10: When you get divorced, things change and that's okay, And

500
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 10: it's okay for kids to know that you're not you know,

501
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 10: we don't scream at each other and we don't know

502
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 10: we can be in the same place. But her friends

503
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 10: are right, but the right for the wrong reasons. Like

504
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,880
Speaker 10: they might not be hoking up. They're probably not hooking

505
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,400
Speaker 10: up again they're divorced. But if you want a new

506
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,160
Speaker 10: relationship if you want that, Like, I.

507
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 3: Have a new alfo cousband.

508
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 10: I'm getting married on Saturday and thank you, and we're

509
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:36,880
Speaker 10: expecting a baby of our.

510
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,639
Speaker 3: Own, so like we're gonna have holiday.

511
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 10: He doesn't want my ex at Christmas, you know what

512
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 10: I mean. Like, it's okay to move on. It's okay

513
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 10: to do it with boundaries and do it with respect.

514
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 10: But yeah, no, if you are divorced, you give up

515
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 10: certain things.

516
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,119
Speaker 1: That's part of the deal, okay, But that's about the adults. Like,

517
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 1: let's talk about the kids for a second. Wouldn't it

518
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:01,200
Speaker 1: be nice if there's a way that the kids could

519
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 1: still have some semblance of their mom and dad functioning

520
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 1: and getting along together and not in the same fashion,

521
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: but just because they don't sleep together anymore, and just

522
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 1: because they're not romantically in love anymore. And it's rare,

523
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 1: but wouldn't it be something to show your kids that, like, hey,

524
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 1: we can break up and not be together, but we

525
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 1: can we still care about one another because we made you.

526
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 1: And I know this is all kind of hallmark fanciful,

527
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 1: but we want you to have as normal of an

528
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: upbringing as possible. And it doesn't have to be negatively

529
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 1: affected because we don't want to be together anymore.

530
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 8: It's very true.

531
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,640
Speaker 10: And that's why if we like go to a baseball game,

532
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 10: we all sit together. If we go to a band

533
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 10: concert at school, we do parent teacher conferences together. As

534
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:47,119
Speaker 10: far as like daily life, we do that together. But

535
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,119
Speaker 10: you know, big things like they kid because I think,

536
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 10: I think about, again, they're going to be adults some day,

537
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,439
Speaker 10: They're going to navigate things on their own. And I

538
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 10: also think about, like my ex husband has remarried, he

539
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 10: has a new wife, I'm getting remarried about the kids,

540
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 10: But it's about everyone moving forward in a way that's

541
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 10: respectful and helpful. And again I also think, I mean,

542
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 10: my kids were babies when we got divorced, right, but

543
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 10: like we wanted them to know this is how it is, right,

544
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 10: so we drew very clear lines. But like he'll stop

545
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 10: buy sometimes like a hall like pop buy on Christmas

546
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 10: and say hey, for like fifteen minutes on his wais somewhere,

547
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 10: but he doesn't like come and sit down for Christmas dinner.

548
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 1: So you say, defintely clear, Kelly, you're saying a trip

549
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 1: to hedonism is out of the question, then absolutely yeah.

550
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 10: I mean, if we're going to what is the siderist about, Like.

551
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 3: No, that's not where I'm doing.

552
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,399
Speaker 1: Oh I okay, so that would be that would be it.

553
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 1: I got it. That makes sense. Thank you so much,

554
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 1: and congratulations with everything you got going on. Have a

555
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 1: good day.

556
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 8: Thank you.

557
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,679
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean I'm trying to be balanced.

558
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 7: You.

559
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,439
Speaker 1: It seems like most people texting and calling think that

560
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 1: this is this is actually something that should be celebrated.

561
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: But then there are some people like Victoria, you don't

562
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 1: you don't like this the idea that X ex husband

563
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 1: ex wife with kids traveling together when they each have

564
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 1: partners of their own, it's not cool.

565
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 10: Yeah, no, I disagree. I think there's definitely just boundaries.

566
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,719
Speaker 10: I think you can one hundred percent have a healthy

567
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 10: co parenting relationship without doing something as intimate as a vacation.

568
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 10: Go have a birthday party together for the.

569
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 3: Kids, go to school events.

570
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 10: But I just think a vacation is very intimate, and

571
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,919
Speaker 10: I don't think it's necessary to to prove that you

572
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 10: have that type of relationship with your ex just to

573
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 10: go on like vacation and stuff. There's other ways to

574
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 10: show that you have a good co parenting relationship.

575
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 1: Okay, so there's something in the middle, then there's something

576
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 1: like it doesn't have to be getting on a plane

577
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 1: and going somewhere. It's more like dinners and movies and

578
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 1: local activities, sporting events.

579
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 8: Would absolutely, yes, exactly fair.

580
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 1: You Victoria, thats a good day, you too, glad you called.

581
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I would agree that that's going to

582
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 1: be a long term relationship. Then they've got to find

583
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 1: a way that everybody's comfortable. But I immediately jumped, turning

584
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 1: the radio down.

585
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 7: Aial I did, I did, Hi?

586
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 1: What did you? I give you a final word in

587
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:14,880
Speaker 1: stay or go? What do you think?

588
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:17,159
Speaker 3: I think stay?

589
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 7: I have this type of relationship with my kid's father,

590
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 7: and I think to eat their own. If it works

591
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 7: for them, then that that.

592
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 3: It works for them.

593
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 7: I've been in this for almost four years. He's been single,

594
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,439
Speaker 7: I've been single. We've plenty We've taken plenty of family

595
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 7: trips together and nothing happens. There have been chances, but

596
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 7: we don't act on it because we're not involved in

597
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 7: like to that anymore.

598
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 8: So it's just about the kids.

599
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 7: We love taking trips with the kids, and I actually

600
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 7: have my third child with someone else, So and he

601
00:27:57,119 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 7: treats them like his own. But yeah, everything is really

602
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,119
Speaker 7: platonic and we plan family trips all the time together.

603
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, good for you, Ariel. Thank you have a

604
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 1: good day.

605
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,120
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, absolutely you too.

606
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 1: Another problem solved or was it?

607
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 3: I think you actually solved this one. I think yeah,

608
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 3: you think so?

609
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 7: Yeah?

610
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,640
Speaker 5: Good co parents is who have put in the key

611
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,400
Speaker 5: is first? When two people can actually put their keys first.

612
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 5: If it's a bad relationship, somebody's not putting the keys first.

613
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 5: So you know what if they can go out of

614
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,920
Speaker 5: town and you know, keep a cue.

615
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 1: Hey, maybe the kids want to want their parents to

616
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: get it on, you

617
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:34,439
Speaker 5: Know, and they probably are