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Speaker 1: Today's daily highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning show

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Speaker 1: is the Tom Kelly. But Tom Kelly, Hello Tom Kelly.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I have a button. You have a button?

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Speaker 1: Oh want to god? This is exciting. Okay. So Tom

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Speaker 1: Kelly is a contributor to our show. I like that

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Speaker 1: word contributor you are, and he says, I miss, I

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Speaker 1: missed the fact you guys do those topic train segments?

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Speaker 1: They were my favorites. What was so great about the

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Speaker 1: topic train to describe to people what they are.

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Speaker 2: It's a list of random topics you would not normally

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Speaker 2: come up within a coherent conversation. And what I loved

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Speaker 2: about what you used to do that I think I

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Speaker 2: can bring to the topic train is our friend Greg

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Speaker 2: t who came up with this, had a sense of

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Speaker 2: curiosity and he also didn't care if you made fun

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Speaker 2: of the questions.

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Speaker 1: And that's what I have.

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Speaker 2: I have no sense of self, I have no feelings,

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Speaker 2: but I have curiosity and that's what I can bring

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Speaker 2: to this.

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Speaker 1: This is good. I was always told Elvis came up

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Speaker 1: with the topic chance, No, no, no, came up with that.

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Speaker 1: I invented the topic train, But he came up with

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Speaker 1: a question. Yes, okay, yeah, he would come in. He

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Speaker 1: still to this day says he came up with the

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Speaker 1: topic train. He did not. It's a big controversy. Controversy.

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Speaker 1: There's no came with the topic of the topic juggler,

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Speaker 1: the topic juggler. Okay, No, it is not a big controversy.

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Speaker 1: There is no controversy with me doing it.

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Speaker 2: I want to call it the Tom Pick train to

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Speaker 2: you know, keep me from any possible litigation.

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Speaker 1: Don't do that. No, it's stupid. Okay, see, and right there,

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Speaker 1: my feelings not hurt. I don't care. Here's what we're

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Speaker 1: gonna do. So Tom's gonna throw out just a big

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Speaker 1: old list of topics. All right, Yes, they're all another

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Speaker 1: of them have anything in common. And so what you'll

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Speaker 1: do is call us or Texas whatever. We'll get in

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Speaker 1: touch with you. If there's a topic that hits a

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Speaker 1: nerve for you and you want to comment on it,

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Speaker 1: you can be a part of the topic train and

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Speaker 1: feel free to call and tell me I'm wrong. I

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Speaker 1: don't care. That's the beautiful thing. Oh, I got music. Music,

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Speaker 1: all right ready, it's the topic train, the train, all right,

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Speaker 1: all right, here we go. It's the Tom Kelly. Topic train. Now,

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Speaker 1: keep in mind, you know you can text it fifty

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Speaker 1: five one hundred or call it eight hundred two four

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Speaker 1: to two zero one hundred. Diamond looks so bored with us? Well,

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Speaker 1: get right in a wake up, Diamond. It's about to

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Speaker 1: get hot. Here we go, Here we go. Topic number one.

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Speaker 1: Let's see if this one gets an enables. Topic number

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Speaker 1: one gazebos.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I believe the more gazebos a town has, the

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Speaker 2: nicer it is. I just did a little Instagram video

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Speaker 2: on Northport.

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Speaker 1: Long Island. They have town beautiful town.

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Speaker 2: Four gazebos Elvis four three octagons, one square, which I

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Speaker 2: don't know if that qualifies as a gazebo, But anyway,

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Speaker 2: how many gazebos does your town have?

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Speaker 1: And is your town nice to live? Yeah? Yeah, yeah?

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Speaker 1: Do you have a gazebo? And does it make it nice?

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Speaker 3: All right?

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Speaker 1: That's topic gazebos Number two. Gay marriage.

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Speaker 2: Okay, gay male couples have a divorce rate of fourteen percent. Okay,

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Speaker 2: heterosexual couples, I believe is actually sixteen percent, and lesbians

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Speaker 2: have the highest rate at twenty four percent, proving the

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Speaker 2: more women you add to a relationship the quicker it.

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Speaker 1: Ends, Oh my god? Really? Yes?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So anyway, where am I? Where are my gay

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Speaker 2: married couples? And why is it so awesome? Why are

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Speaker 2: you staying together? That's my topic?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, let's see local. Other topic, local news anchors.

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Speaker 1: All right, who's your favorite local news anchor?

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Speaker 2: I love a woman Jana Angel of WBTV and Rawley.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying that just to get her to notice me.

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Speaker 2: I also love Penny Crone of Fox five in New York.

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Speaker 2: She retired, she is and she was just so fun.

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Speaker 2: I love Rich Hoffman of News twelve. And there was

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Speaker 2: a guy Jim Dolan, who I think is retired from

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Speaker 2: Channel seven. Whenever he was on TV, you knew he

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Speaker 2: was like just not pretty and they would send him

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Speaker 2: to all the worst places.

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Speaker 1: If Jim Dolan was there, someone was bleeding. Now here's

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Speaker 1: the thing about, don't it. He's the guy who uses words.

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Speaker 1: He's a wordsmith. He goes, he over exaggerates everything he does.

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Speaker 1: Do we still have okay, we don't have sound of him. Okay,

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Speaker 1: your local news anchor? Who do you want to send

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Speaker 1: a shout out to? Doesn't matter what town. Another topic

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Speaker 1: on the topic train sits on your sits on your face?

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Speaker 2: What? Okay, Well, I've never had anybody sit on my

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Speaker 2: face in a romantic situation.

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Speaker 1: In what situation would you have them? Said on?

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Speaker 2: There?

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Speaker 1: Just feel like that's something people ask about. What about

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Speaker 1: can you go on on your first date?

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Speaker 2: Not on the first But I've just I've just I'm

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Speaker 2: from all Island that I've heard guys use the phrase

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Speaker 2: I'd love to have a sit on my.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, So well, so what's the what's the definition?

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Speaker 1: Define this topic a little more other than said on

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Speaker 1: the face?

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Speaker 2: Well, okay, well, are you if you sit on someone's

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Speaker 2: face or someone sits on your face? What's what goes

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Speaker 2: through your mind? Are you afraid they will fart? Are

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Speaker 2: you afraid they will break your news?

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Speaker 1: Okay? All all right, plenty, yes see, there you go.

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Speaker 1: The callers are calling in now, all right, sits on

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Speaker 1: your face? Okay, here's you didn't say six?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 1: Yes? I did? Oh that's enough, way keep it keep

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Speaker 1: in mind. No, no, no, we're gone deep enough and let's

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Speaker 1: not dog pile. Turn off Froggy's microphone? Okay, cargo pants?

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Speaker 1: Oh our friend Diamond? Who I Adore.

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Speaker 2: I saw her wearing cargo pants from Abercrombie and Fits yesterday.

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Speaker 2: I've been told they're out of style for men, but

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Speaker 2: I love them. I love the pockets. I have a

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Speaker 2: dad wallet. I use a iPhone sixteen Pro Max. I

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Speaker 2: could use the extra storage. Can men wear cargo pants?

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Speaker 2: I'm going to answer it. Yes, yes, cargo pants. They've

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Speaker 2: been in for a while.

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Speaker 1: But go ahead, it's okay, okay, so we take off

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Speaker 1: cargo pants. Well leave sits on face. Have you ever

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Speaker 1: sat on someone's face while wearing cargo pants? I mean again,

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Speaker 1: it could go for hours. Okay. Finally, on the top

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Speaker 1: of train, do you do you drive a pink car?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Okay, so I once so to Mary Kay. Is the

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Speaker 2: big stereotype that you get a pink Cadillac. I once

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Speaker 2: did a charity gig where the lot was full of

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Speaker 2: pink cadillact because it was Mary Kay people. But then

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Speaker 2: I have my friend Melissa and Nebraska who just had

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Speaker 2: her jeep wrapped in pink.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a pink car? And why? Okay? There

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Speaker 1: you go. Kay is cosmetics.

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Speaker 3: Just in case you don't know what it is, it's the.

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Speaker 1: Topic train you go the topic. Train is back.

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Speaker 3: It's the topic.

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Speaker 1: Train the topic.

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Speaker 3: Here we go.

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Speaker 1: The topics are gazebos. Does your town have gazebos? Does

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Speaker 1: it make it nicer? Also? Gay marriage? How come the

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Speaker 1: gay guys are taking married longer than the lesbians and

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Speaker 1: the straits?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Why is it so great? I want to know? Maybe

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Speaker 1: I'll start dating the guy after this. Shout out to

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Speaker 1: your local news anchor, come on, give him some love.

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Speaker 1: Do you drive a pink car? Yes? And finally sits

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Speaker 1: on your face. Call now at eight hundred and two

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Speaker 1: four zero one hundred, Texas at fifty five one hundred.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's okay, we gotta sit back that let

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Speaker 1: back and let this brew. Yes, sir, let's just simmer.

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Speaker 1: First second we get into uh, don't use marinate and

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Speaker 1: sitting on face. The time we have two calls, we'll

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Speaker 1: go to uh, they're gonna they're piling in as well.

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Speaker 2: You would think there would be one happily married gay

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Speaker 2: man saying this is great.

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Speaker 1: Maybe can I call Let's go talk to Jake from Philly, Phillies.

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Speaker 1: Jake is here, Hi, Jake, how you doing?

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Speaker 4: I'm doing well on yourself today?

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Speaker 1: Doing well? Okay? Which of Tom's topics are you calling about?

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Speaker 4: I am talking about shouting out a news anchor. I

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Speaker 4: want to shout.

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Speaker 1: Out m Yes, go ahead.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to shout out Alex Holly from Fox Good

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Speaker 4: Day Philadelphia. Those it's Alex Holly and Mike Jared. They

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Speaker 4: are the funniest people in my opinion and news.

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Speaker 1: There you go, and they're local. You love them. They

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Speaker 1: know Philly. That's it's good to It's good to be

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Speaker 1: a fan. Yeah, and I'm looking them up. They're easy

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Speaker 1: on eyes, They're good looking people.

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Speaker 5: They listen.

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Speaker 4: There's multiple times. You know, she's incredible. There are two

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Speaker 4: peas in the pods together. See, it just makes news fun.

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Speaker 1: All right. If anyone knows, then make sure you tell

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Speaker 1: them that Jake from Philly called and gave him some

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Speaker 1: shout out Alex Alex Hawley from Good Day Thank you

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Speaker 1: very much, Jake. Let's go talk to Ali. Hi, Ali,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the topic train. Which of Tom's robust talking

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Speaker 1: about topics are you calling about?

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Speaker 5: Well, I am a lesbian going through a divorce. I'm

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Speaker 5: also from Northport and I believe cogo pants are functional.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so she's calling about three top three topics.

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Speaker 2: So does this count as three calls when we look

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Speaker 2: back on this later, Yeah, we'll get.

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Speaker 4: Credit for three call.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, So you live in Northport, Long Island, which

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Speaker 1: means you have gazebos galore. Okay, therefore it is a

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Speaker 1: beautiful town. It is probably higher Texas, Okay, it is.

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Speaker 5: And I would say what I had said to whoever

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Speaker 5: picked up the phone, is that the more gazebels I

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Speaker 5: find in the town that I live in, the less

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Speaker 5: diversity there is.

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Speaker 2: Oh, and that applies to Northport.

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Speaker 1: Yes, really yeah, pretty pretty white?

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Speaker 2: Yes, okay, all right, yes, and now that you're getting divorced,

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Speaker 2: I feel like it's less diverse in that way too.

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Speaker 3: I would.

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Speaker 5: I mean, honestly, they actually do have like a pride

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Speaker 5: like a pride day, which is nice, which I found

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Speaker 5: strange when I moved out here. Okay, but which is

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Speaker 5: nice and it's inclusive. But but you know, with the

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Speaker 5: you know, I want my son to you know, see

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Speaker 5: color and you know the diversity and you know everybody around.

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Speaker 1: What we need to do is find towns with no gazebos.

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Speaker 1: We'll move. Yeah, yeah, Jersey City, there we go. Jersey

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Speaker 1: City is very very well, thank you. So much, Ali,

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Speaker 1: very nice, and good luck with your divorce. Let's go

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Speaker 1: talk to Fanny. Fanny the face sitter. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I hope it is. Okay, so you heard Tom's topic

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Speaker 1: selection face sitting. What do you want to add to

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Speaker 1: this conversation?

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Speaker 4: Hello, lady, good morning you guys.

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Speaker 1: Almighty.

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Speaker 5: I'm not a faceitter myself, but I have had many

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Speaker 5: I have sat on many faces.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, no, I do not have people sit upon my face.

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Speaker 4: I have sat upon many faces.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, that sounds like Shakespeare wrote that. So well,

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Speaker 1: hold on, what do you think? What do you think

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Speaker 1: about when you're up there?

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Speaker 3: I mean, what does anyone think about when you know

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Speaker 3: they're doing to do the laundry and the dishes?

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Speaker 2: Okay, have you ever why did you ask someone to

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Speaker 2: uh am I saying that right? Yeah go why yeah?

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Speaker 2: Why did they have a seat and what went through

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Speaker 2: their mind after? Did you do any post sitting interview?

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Speaker 5: Normally they can't breathe?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well there's that.

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Speaker 4: What I've learned is and want you to sit, not hover.

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Speaker 1: Okay, very nice, Okay, okay, you know I got enough.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna text you later with detailed questions because yeah,

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Speaker 2: I have another follow up.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, Fanny, hold on. I wonder if

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Speaker 1: she charges for you. I don't know. I know, John,

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Speaker 1: because she said she sat on many faces, so maybe

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Speaker 1: she gets Maybe she gets lots of money. She's relaxing

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Speaker 1: a lot that Kristin, Kristen, which of Tom's topics you're

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Speaker 1: calling about the gazebo thing?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, the gazebo, and you're here.

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Speaker 1: To disagree about his gazebo theory. What's that?

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Speaker 6: I am? I we have a gazebo right in our

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Speaker 6: center of town. It's great, it's nice. It used to

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Speaker 6: be lovely, and now the homeless have moved in and

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Speaker 6: they all camp inside of the gaze.

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Speaker 1: They have sheltered.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, well it's open around the sides, and I

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Speaker 6: don't know how much shelter they really get. But yeah,

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Speaker 6: they're a little park now that kind of moved in.

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Speaker 6: This little fountain is great, but they've moved into it.

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Speaker 1: How are the taxes?

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Speaker 6: They're great?

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Speaker 1: All right, Well, thank you, and make sure if you

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Speaker 1: have a town with a gazebo, enjoy that gazebo. And

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Speaker 1: if people need some help out there, give them some help.

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Speaker 1: There you go, hold on, one second. Who is that Dominique.

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Speaker 1: Hello Dominique, Welcome to Tom's topic train. Oh wait, you

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Speaker 1: have a pink car. Yeah? Hi, Oh my god, a

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Speaker 1: woman with a pink car. Talk about it.

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Speaker 3: So you guys wanted to know why pink. I run

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Speaker 3: a business in New Jersey for upscale events. I run

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Speaker 3: a staff and company where I provide bartenders and servers

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Speaker 3: for big parties, and all my staff works pink. And

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Speaker 3: I've noticed that, you know, I'm not the only person

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Speaker 3: that does what I do in New Jersey. So that's

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Speaker 3: the one way that I've been able to make myself

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Speaker 3: stand out for the past three and a half years.

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Speaker 1: There we go, we want to stand out. Have a

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Speaker 1: pink car? There you go? That makes it?

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Speaker 3: What kind of are It's a pink honz of cord?

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Speaker 3: And then I have a pink deep gladiator.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's fancy. I like that. This is a custom

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Speaker 1: jobbers that come from the factory like that.

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Speaker 3: No, No, everything is customer.

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Speaker 2: Are you concerned? Are you concerned about the resale value

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Speaker 2: of your vehicle being pink and all?

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Speaker 3: I don't plan on selling them. They're going to go

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Speaker 3: in a museum when I'm done.

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Speaker 1: There you go thank you so much. And finally we

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Speaker 1: go talk to Sam. Sam from Beautiful Naples, Florida. Oh,

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Speaker 1: one more call about sitting on the face, go right.

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Speaker 3: Ahead, Yes, hello guys, good morning.

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Speaker 1: Good morning Sam. And your thoughts.

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Speaker 5: So my thought is, like the other caller said, no hoving,

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Speaker 5: I want you to full sell on my face like

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Speaker 5: a gas mask pretty much.

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Speaker 4: If you're tired.

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Speaker 1: Okay, thank you, okay, like a gas mask. Absolutely. You

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Speaker 1: know he wants to see you. Everyone's I apologize.

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Speaker 5: Here's the topic tray.

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Speaker 1: My curiosity has been satisfied. There you go. What's the text?

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Speaker 1: Somebody asked, does Tom do a line of coke when

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Speaker 1: coming up with these topics and when he's presenting them

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Speaker 1: on the air. Yes, no, but there's something's not right.

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Speaker 1: They're right. Something isn't right very much. So Tom Kelly

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Speaker 1: everywhere the topic train. Let's do that once every three years.

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Speaker 1: Who chooses to get up at this time? I know

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Speaker 1: Elvista Rand in the Morning Show