1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:25,955 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio America 2 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:30,995 Speaker 1: held hostage day ninety five of the Trump dictatorship, and 3 00:00:31,075 --> 00:00:35,595 Speaker 1: Trump's personal counter terrorism chief is now threatening to charge 4 00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:43,755 Speaker 1: anybody who criticizes Trump with aiding and abetting terrorists. I 5 00:00:43,795 --> 00:00:46,315 Speaker 1: don't know if the surprise is that the Trump dictatorship 6 00:00:46,355 --> 00:00:49,355 Speaker 1: of the morons did this so fast, or that they 7 00:00:49,355 --> 00:00:53,355 Speaker 1: waited so long, And it is the dictatorship of the 8 00:00:53,355 --> 00:00:56,235 Speaker 1: morons by the team of idiot rivals. And as such, 9 00:00:56,715 --> 00:01:01,475 Speaker 1: as the wheels fall off, as Trump's poll numbers collapse, 10 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:05,395 Speaker 1: as Trump crashes the world economy, as Trump can't keep 11 00:01:05,475 --> 00:01:09,955 Speaker 1: one economic policy in place for two consecutive hours, and 12 00:01:09,995 --> 00:01:14,555 Speaker 1: as Trump depopulates the life or death bureaucracy fostering public 13 00:01:14,635 --> 00:01:18,835 Speaker 1: health and education and safety and scientific research and climate change, 14 00:01:18,915 --> 00:01:21,995 Speaker 1: as the president of the New York Fed predicts five 15 00:01:22,075 --> 00:01:26,635 Speaker 1: percent unemployment within the year, as his minions literally disappear 16 00:01:26,995 --> 00:01:29,755 Speaker 1: US citizens and others with legal rights to be here 17 00:01:29,995 --> 00:01:33,635 Speaker 1: off our streets and ship them to foreign hells, as 18 00:01:33,675 --> 00:01:36,315 Speaker 1: his Secretary of Defense might as well be shouting our 19 00:01:36,355 --> 00:01:40,075 Speaker 1: battle plans at passers by on a Washington Street corner, 20 00:01:40,315 --> 00:01:44,235 Speaker 1: as we betray and threaten our allies, and reward the 21 00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:47,995 Speaker 1: scum of the earth, both kinds Russian scum and non 22 00:01:48,115 --> 00:01:51,715 Speaker 1: Russian scum, as the media and academia and the law 23 00:01:51,755 --> 00:01:55,515 Speaker 1: firms and the judiciary cover their own asses and throw 24 00:01:55,555 --> 00:01:58,795 Speaker 1: the rest of us to the lions. As the nation collapses. 25 00:01:58,835 --> 00:02:02,435 Speaker 1: Because it is day ninety five of the Trump dictatorship 26 00:02:02,435 --> 00:02:05,515 Speaker 1: of the morons, fled by the most moron public figure 27 00:02:05,595 --> 00:02:09,355 Speaker 1: in our history, there is only one play left for 28 00:02:09,515 --> 00:02:13,115 Speaker 1: the feral animal in charge, the one with the failing 29 00:02:13,235 --> 00:02:18,235 Speaker 1: reptile brain. There is only one play left for Trump. 30 00:02:18,595 --> 00:02:21,755 Speaker 1: We've all known it would come to this. We've all 31 00:02:21,835 --> 00:02:24,635 Speaker 1: warned it would come to this. We've all predicted they 32 00:02:24,675 --> 00:02:27,675 Speaker 1: would try to ease the knife in slowly that they 33 00:02:27,755 --> 00:02:31,515 Speaker 1: take the boiling frog roots. And here it comes. It 34 00:02:31,715 --> 00:02:35,515 Speaker 1: is in every piece of political science fiction from nineteen 35 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:39,755 Speaker 1: eighty four to V for Vendetta. We are now here. 36 00:02:40,555 --> 00:02:45,755 Speaker 1: If everything Trump deserves criticism and gets criticism, there will 37 00:02:45,795 --> 00:02:48,515 Speaker 1: be only one thing left for Trump and his gang 38 00:02:48,595 --> 00:02:51,995 Speaker 1: to do, and that is to prosecute criticism of Trump 39 00:02:52,235 --> 00:02:56,235 Speaker 1: and to claim those who criticize Trump are aiding and 40 00:02:56,355 --> 00:02:58,115 Speaker 1: abetting terrorists. 41 00:02:58,435 --> 00:03:01,835 Speaker 2: People who love America like the president, like his cabinet, 42 00:03:01,875 --> 00:03:06,115 Speaker 2: like the directors of his agencies, who want to protect Americans. 43 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:08,515 Speaker 2: And then there is the other side that is on 44 00:03:08,595 --> 00:03:12,355 Speaker 2: the side of the cartel members, on the side of 45 00:03:12,435 --> 00:03:15,395 Speaker 2: the illegal aliens, on the side of the terrorists. And 46 00:03:15,435 --> 00:03:19,115 Speaker 2: you have to ask yourself, are they technically aiding and 47 00:03:19,315 --> 00:03:24,115 Speaker 2: abetting them? Because aiding and abetting criminals and terrorists is 48 00:03:24,155 --> 00:03:25,955 Speaker 2: a crime in federal statute. 49 00:03:26,275 --> 00:03:29,955 Speaker 1: You doubtless recognize there the foppish voice of the imbecilic 50 00:03:29,995 --> 00:03:35,395 Speaker 1: Sebastian Gorka, the former Victor Orban advisor, so fringe and 51 00:03:35,475 --> 00:03:39,435 Speaker 1: so cringe that Trump ushered him out of his first 52 00:03:39,435 --> 00:03:44,075 Speaker 1: White House during its seventh month. Well, he's back, trying 53 00:03:44,075 --> 00:03:47,835 Speaker 1: to sound sane on Newsmax, threatening to make criticism of 54 00:03:47,875 --> 00:03:51,955 Speaker 1: the furor a terrorist adjacent act, or even terrorism itself, 55 00:03:52,235 --> 00:03:55,275 Speaker 1: because there are no adults to stop Trump this time. 56 00:03:55,915 --> 00:03:59,555 Speaker 1: And now Gorka is Deputy Assistant to the President and 57 00:03:59,755 --> 00:04:04,075 Speaker 1: Senior Director for counter Terrorism, and thus he is a 58 00:04:04,155 --> 00:04:07,675 Speaker 1: clear and present danger to the stability of this country 59 00:04:07,675 --> 00:04:12,035 Speaker 1: and not just some asshole so sketchy, it's so egotistical. 60 00:04:12,315 --> 00:04:15,355 Speaker 1: To the first inauguration, he wore not only that beard, 61 00:04:15,635 --> 00:04:18,835 Speaker 1: that consumes half the nation's supply of just for men, 62 00:04:19,235 --> 00:04:21,875 Speaker 1: but also a tunic. It was the last time you 63 00:04:21,915 --> 00:04:25,635 Speaker 1: saw somebody wearing a tunic and a Garish medal with 64 00:04:25,715 --> 00:04:29,355 Speaker 1: a conflicted history connected to both Hungarian World War two 65 00:04:29,475 --> 00:04:34,875 Speaker 1: Nazi resistors and Hungarian World War two Nazi collaborators, but 66 00:04:35,035 --> 00:04:39,955 Speaker 1: ultimately so bizarrely inappropriate because the metal looks either like 67 00:04:39,995 --> 00:04:44,395 Speaker 1: an Eastern European fascist idea of class or something a 68 00:04:44,515 --> 00:04:47,155 Speaker 1: minor league hockey team would wear as part of its 69 00:04:47,235 --> 00:04:54,195 Speaker 1: special uniform on ren and stimpy night. Well, Sebastian Gorka, 70 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:57,595 Speaker 1: whoever the f he really is, has now begun the 71 00:04:57,635 --> 00:05:02,675 Speaker 1: process of trying to make criticizing Trump an act of terrorism. 72 00:05:03,155 --> 00:05:07,875 Speaker 1: The full thought of nineteen eighty four, the satirical but 73 00:05:08,115 --> 00:05:13,115 Speaker 1: unbearably terrifying political torturer played by Michael Palin in Terry 74 00:05:13,155 --> 00:05:17,435 Speaker 1: Gilliam's movie Brazil. The disappearing of the Stephen Fry character 75 00:05:17,515 --> 00:05:21,995 Speaker 1: in V for Vendetta after he satirized the paranoid, crazy 76 00:05:22,115 --> 00:05:26,955 Speaker 1: dictator the Countless. This is really happening, stories of true 77 00:05:26,995 --> 00:05:30,515 Speaker 1: life torture in Spain and Germany and Venezuela and a 78 00:05:30,595 --> 00:05:35,155 Speaker 1: thousand other places. It's not enough, apparently, to wrap up 79 00:05:35,195 --> 00:05:39,035 Speaker 1: a bankroll of a couple of billion dollars and threaten 80 00:05:39,195 --> 00:05:43,195 Speaker 1: to metaphorically beat the owners of ABC and CBS and 81 00:05:43,355 --> 00:05:46,195 Speaker 1: NBC to death with it, and know that at least 82 00:05:46,235 --> 00:05:49,515 Speaker 1: one of them will fold, and one day, like day 83 00:05:49,555 --> 00:05:52,755 Speaker 1: before yesterday, you'll read that the executive producer of sixty 84 00:05:52,795 --> 00:05:55,755 Speaker 1: Minutes has left CBS News after thirty seven years because 85 00:05:55,755 --> 00:06:01,515 Speaker 1: his bosses are collaborators and colluds and goddamned cowards. It's 86 00:06:01,555 --> 00:06:05,715 Speaker 1: not enough, apparently, to try to stochastically inspire vigilante death 87 00:06:05,755 --> 00:06:11,155 Speaker 1: squads against reporters. It's not enough to threaten universities, usually 88 00:06:11,275 --> 00:06:16,075 Speaker 1: universities with strong journalism programs like Columbia, with financial destruction 89 00:06:16,595 --> 00:06:21,755 Speaker 1: and extra constitutional judicial overlords. It's not enough to prosecute 90 00:06:21,795 --> 00:06:25,555 Speaker 1: news organizations and reporters about stories and leaks when you 91 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,835 Speaker 1: are really just trying to force them into praising Trump, 92 00:06:29,235 --> 00:06:32,235 Speaker 1: like they did at the Washington Post. It's not enough, apparently, 93 00:06:32,755 --> 00:06:35,835 Speaker 1: to put individuals in your crosshairs so that one day 94 00:06:35,915 --> 00:06:38,555 Speaker 1: I wake up to watch people I worked with and 95 00:06:38,595 --> 00:06:42,035 Speaker 1: trusted because they had spine and ethics fold up like 96 00:06:42,075 --> 00:06:45,795 Speaker 1: a three card monte dealer's table during a raid people 97 00:06:45,835 --> 00:06:49,715 Speaker 1: like Jeff Schell now destroying CBS News, or people like 98 00:06:49,755 --> 00:06:53,675 Speaker 1: Claire Shipman now destroying Columbia University and thus the Columbia 99 00:06:53,755 --> 00:06:59,195 Speaker 1: Journalism School. None of that is enough because none of 100 00:06:59,195 --> 00:07:03,035 Speaker 1: that has worked, because none of that has scared enough 101 00:07:03,075 --> 00:07:08,395 Speaker 1: people viscerally, none of that has scared enough people personally, 102 00:07:10,115 --> 00:07:13,035 Speaker 1: and the only thing still working in the Trump dictatorship 103 00:07:13,075 --> 00:07:20,235 Speaker 1: is the prospect of scaring people into obeying. Also, there 104 00:07:20,355 --> 00:07:22,875 Speaker 1: is the realization that if you think it is going 105 00:07:22,915 --> 00:07:27,435 Speaker 1: badly now in Trump Land, wait wait until the predictions 106 00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:31,315 Speaker 1: come true. The predictions that the CEOs of Walmart and 107 00:07:31,395 --> 00:07:35,275 Speaker 1: Target and Home Depot reportedly made to Trump this past 108 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:38,915 Speaker 1: Monday in the Oval Office, that it's not just that 109 00:07:39,035 --> 00:07:42,635 Speaker 1: his tariff madness and his unshakable delusion that it was 110 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:46,075 Speaker 1: all so much better in the year eighteen ninety three, 111 00:07:46,235 --> 00:07:51,875 Speaker 1: the delusion so tenacious, so complete within him that it 112 00:07:51,955 --> 00:07:55,955 Speaker 1: is worthy of being a full visual and auditory hallucination 113 00:07:56,155 --> 00:08:00,315 Speaker 1: caused by a brain tumor. The prediction that all this 114 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:05,395 Speaker 1: will not just disrupt supply chains, not just double or 115 00:08:05,515 --> 00:08:10,555 Speaker 1: treble inflation, not just leave store after store in every 116 00:08:10,675 --> 00:08:14,475 Speaker 1: city in this country with empty shelves, but that it 117 00:08:14,555 --> 00:08:19,955 Speaker 1: will do all that within two weeks. Wait until those 118 00:08:20,115 --> 00:08:24,035 Speaker 1: predictions come true. And it's a matter of degree now, 119 00:08:24,395 --> 00:08:28,515 Speaker 1: because Trump folded again on tariffs after those warnings, and 120 00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:32,555 Speaker 1: folded on China on Tuesday because he was so scared 121 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,035 Speaker 1: by what the CEOs told him. And then the delusion 122 00:08:35,075 --> 00:08:37,075 Speaker 1: gripped him again yesterday and he went right back to 123 00:08:37,155 --> 00:08:42,235 Speaker 1: his brain symptom of financing the national budget with effing tariffs. 124 00:08:43,875 --> 00:08:48,915 Speaker 1: But wait until the undeniability of empty shelves hits the 125 00:08:49,035 --> 00:08:55,235 Speaker 1: new cathedrals of America, the Target in Hoover, Alabama, one 126 00:08:55,315 --> 00:08:59,955 Speaker 1: hundred and ninety one thousand square feet, the Home Depot 127 00:09:00,035 --> 00:09:03,835 Speaker 1: and Buxhall, New Jersey, two hundred and seventeen thousand square feet, 128 00:09:04,155 --> 00:09:08,355 Speaker 1: the Wall March at Crossgates Commons in Albany, New York 129 00:09:08,675 --> 00:09:13,955 Speaker 1: two one hundred and sixty thousand square feet. Wait until 130 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:18,955 Speaker 1: their shelves are empty, and the worshippers of our Lady 131 00:09:18,995 --> 00:09:25,635 Speaker 1: of the Megabox store riot in the parking lots two 132 00:09:25,755 --> 00:09:31,515 Speaker 1: one hundred and sixty thousand square feet of a Walmart. 133 00:09:33,035 --> 00:09:36,755 Speaker 1: I mean, Saint Peter's basilica is only two hundred and 134 00:09:36,835 --> 00:09:41,995 Speaker 1: forty seven thousand square feet. Ah, sorry about your Pope, 135 00:09:42,355 --> 00:09:46,355 Speaker 1: says the American tourist. And this stadium here you got. 136 00:09:46,755 --> 00:09:49,835 Speaker 1: This is nice, but it sure ain't as impressive as 137 00:09:49,875 --> 00:10:26,235 Speaker 1: the Walmot at Crossgates commons back to doctor Gorka and 138 00:10:26,355 --> 00:10:31,155 Speaker 1: his lifetime supply of just for men Beard when there 139 00:10:31,235 --> 00:10:35,075 Speaker 1: is nothing left in this Trumpian shit show but criticism 140 00:10:35,155 --> 00:10:39,915 Speaker 1: of it. The pompous, falsely ominous, simplistic effort to terrify 141 00:10:39,955 --> 00:10:42,995 Speaker 1: the Americans with the minds of children from the dregs 142 00:10:43,075 --> 00:10:46,795 Speaker 1: of humanity like Sebastian Gorka will take on a totally 143 00:10:46,795 --> 00:10:50,795 Speaker 1: different meaning. The clip of what he threatened, and to 144 00:10:50,915 --> 00:10:53,995 Speaker 1: use the cliche, it is so full of false and 145 00:10:54,035 --> 00:10:58,235 Speaker 1: illogical extrapolation. It is so Sebastian Gorka that it hurts. 146 00:10:58,955 --> 00:11:02,275 Speaker 1: That clip is nearly a week old, but it is 147 00:11:02,475 --> 00:11:07,035 Speaker 1: just resonating today after their Axios has managed to put 148 00:11:07,075 --> 00:11:11,315 Speaker 1: the truly evil pieces together, while as usual, never passing 149 00:11:11,395 --> 00:11:13,635 Speaker 1: judgment on the morality of any of it, Like they 150 00:11:13,675 --> 00:11:16,435 Speaker 1: were writing out assembly instructions for a potty seat for 151 00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:22,355 Speaker 1: a child or for Trump. I'll quote from this Axios compendium. 152 00:11:22,435 --> 00:11:27,395 Speaker 1: Now Trump administration officials are suggesting their immigration crackdown could 153 00:11:27,435 --> 00:11:33,235 Speaker 1: expand to include deporting convicted US citizens and charging anyone, 154 00:11:33,635 --> 00:11:39,835 Speaker 1: not just immigrants, who criticizes Trump's policies. One sending convicted 155 00:11:39,955 --> 00:11:43,395 Speaker 1: US citizens to prisons abroad. This has been floated as 156 00:11:43,475 --> 00:11:47,635 Speaker 1: a spit off of Trump's deal with l Salvador, where 157 00:11:47,715 --> 00:11:50,475 Speaker 1: a high security prison is holding about three hundred US 158 00:11:50,475 --> 00:11:55,355 Speaker 1: immigration detainees that the administration says are suspected criminals and 159 00:11:55,515 --> 00:12:00,035 Speaker 1: gang members. Quote homegrowns are next, Trump said during an 160 00:12:00,035 --> 00:12:03,515 Speaker 1: Oval Office meeting with I would point out as an 161 00:12:03,555 --> 00:12:09,995 Speaker 1: aside his employee, Salvadoran President Naib Bucele last week, referring 162 00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:13,515 Speaker 1: to sending Americans convicted of crimes to serve time in 163 00:12:13,595 --> 00:12:19,355 Speaker 1: foreign prisons. Two, putting critics of the administration's policies in jeopardy. 164 00:12:20,035 --> 00:12:24,315 Speaker 1: Some officials say US citizens who criticize administration policies could 165 00:12:24,355 --> 00:12:27,955 Speaker 1: be charged with crimes based on the notion they're aiding 166 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:32,435 Speaker 1: terrorists and criminals. Then comes the quote from the Gorka interview. 167 00:12:32,915 --> 00:12:37,555 Speaker 1: Trump's team has also questioned the legality of civic groups 168 00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:41,435 Speaker 1: providing immigrants with know your Rights trainings on how to 169 00:12:41,475 --> 00:12:46,235 Speaker 1: respond to federal agents. Borders are Tom Holman suggested that 170 00:12:46,315 --> 00:12:51,835 Speaker 1: such seminars help people evade law enforcement. I would suggest 171 00:12:52,115 --> 00:12:56,515 Speaker 1: it allows people to evade fascists like Tom Holman and 172 00:12:56,635 --> 00:13:01,395 Speaker 1: their brown shirt Gestapo death squads. And I would note 173 00:13:01,435 --> 00:13:04,795 Speaker 1: also that Tom Holman in particular has something for or 174 00:13:05,235 --> 00:13:09,315 Speaker 1: Alexandria Accasio Cortes and is drooling at the thought of 175 00:13:09,395 --> 00:13:14,875 Speaker 1: putting handcuffs on her. Quote. They're trying to use terrorism 176 00:13:14,955 --> 00:13:17,715 Speaker 1: laws to attack people for their speech and for their 177 00:13:17,715 --> 00:13:22,515 Speaker 1: political activism, and that's an authoritarian effort, said Carrie Talbot, 178 00:13:22,715 --> 00:13:27,115 Speaker 1: co executive director of the Immigration Hub, an immigration advocacy 179 00:13:27,115 --> 00:13:34,915 Speaker 1: group three questioning the authority of court orders, The administration's 180 00:13:34,955 --> 00:13:39,155 Speaker 1: resistance to returning Kilmar Abrego Garcia, who was legally in 181 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,555 Speaker 1: the US with an order not to be deported back 182 00:13:41,595 --> 00:13:44,955 Speaker 1: to Al Salvador, but was deported to the prison there anyway, 183 00:13:45,355 --> 00:13:48,395 Speaker 1: has raised questions about how far Trump's team can go 184 00:13:48,715 --> 00:13:51,915 Speaker 1: in trying to skirt court orders. The White House says 185 00:13:51,955 --> 00:13:55,875 Speaker 1: the decision to return Abrego Garcia rests with El Salvador 186 00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:59,755 Speaker 1: because the US Supreme Court told the administration only to 187 00:14:00,075 --> 00:14:06,955 Speaker 1: facilitate his return, not effectuated. Axios, of course, peppered this 188 00:14:07,475 --> 00:14:12,035 Speaker 1: with its moronic life for dummies interjections like why it matters. 189 00:14:12,915 --> 00:14:15,835 Speaker 1: I've always wondered what their coverage of an impending nuclear 190 00:14:15,875 --> 00:14:19,395 Speaker 1: war would look like. Why it matters because everybody would 191 00:14:19,435 --> 00:14:23,795 Speaker 1: be dead. Axios also missed one other component. This is 192 00:14:23,795 --> 00:14:26,995 Speaker 1: from Reuters from a month ago. Now. US House Speaker 193 00:14:27,035 --> 00:14:30,155 Speaker 1: Mike Johnson on Tuesday warned that Congress's authority over the 194 00:14:30,155 --> 00:14:35,835 Speaker 1: federal judiciary includes the power to eliminate entire district courts. 195 00:14:36,435 --> 00:14:40,915 Speaker 1: As the White House rails against activist judges blocking Trump's agenda, 196 00:14:41,675 --> 00:14:45,755 Speaker 1: Johnson sold reporters the numerous injunctions issued by judges nationally 197 00:14:45,955 --> 00:14:50,955 Speaker 1: that have steimied Trump's initiatives were part of a dangerous hand. 198 00:14:51,555 --> 00:14:56,915 Speaker 1: This ugly, little, useless Johnson is talking about defunding the judges. 199 00:14:57,715 --> 00:15:01,995 Speaker 1: That if the Democrats can't frame that as Republicans want 200 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:07,875 Speaker 1: to defund law enforcement, give up. What in whole all 201 00:15:07,915 --> 00:15:10,755 Speaker 1: this indicates is that Trump is, as I suggested earlier, 202 00:15:11,395 --> 00:15:15,955 Speaker 1: out of moves, he is, in fact now road testing 203 00:15:16,475 --> 00:15:23,275 Speaker 1: using terrorism charges against Americans for their exercise of free speech. 204 00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:28,595 Speaker 1: They've already done it in the Khalil case at Columbia. 205 00:15:29,275 --> 00:15:32,795 Speaker 1: Then Trump said the quiet part out loud about homegrowns. 206 00:15:33,555 --> 00:15:38,155 Speaker 1: The idiocy of the DEI Attorney General Blondie is another 207 00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:41,835 Speaker 1: facet of this. Remember her boast that attacks on Tesla 208 00:15:41,955 --> 00:15:47,275 Speaker 1: dealerships or Tesla vehicles would be treated as domestic terrorism. 209 00:15:47,115 --> 00:15:50,275 Speaker 1: I'm not sure if this includes keing the cars, though 210 00:15:50,275 --> 00:15:53,195 Speaker 1: the newspaper The Daily Mail reported that a decade ago 211 00:15:53,475 --> 00:15:57,835 Speaker 1: Musk found a foreign born whistleblower in his company about 212 00:15:57,955 --> 00:16:02,355 Speaker 1: bad breaks on Tesla's and threatened to deport her and 213 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:06,635 Speaker 1: her team. And that was in two thousand fourteen. But 214 00:16:08,115 --> 00:16:12,315 Speaker 1: if you put all these components together, you may face 215 00:16:12,435 --> 00:16:17,995 Speaker 1: a terrorism charge for criticizing how good a car a 216 00:16:18,235 --> 00:16:24,435 Speaker 1: Tesla is, or for criticizing how good a president A 217 00:16:24,555 --> 00:16:39,075 Speaker 1: Trump is. The other headlines Dick Durbin is retiring. Good 218 00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:42,995 Speaker 1: should have happened two elections ago. Take Schumer with you, 219 00:16:44,355 --> 00:16:48,275 Speaker 1: and take Ron Johnson with you. There are dumber senators, 220 00:16:48,715 --> 00:16:53,515 Speaker 1: There are more dangerous Republican Johnson's. There are snottier politicians. 221 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:58,195 Speaker 1: But no one quite combines these three attributes as brilliantly 222 00:16:58,315 --> 00:17:02,475 Speaker 1: as Russia. Ron his newest gambit as chair of the 223 00:17:02,515 --> 00:17:07,715 Speaker 1: Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investment Mitigations, he wants one he 224 00:17:07,795 --> 00:17:11,755 Speaker 1: has declared that World Trade Center Building seven collapse due 225 00:17:11,795 --> 00:17:17,355 Speaker 1: to a quote controlled demolition, something disproved literally on nine 226 00:17:17,355 --> 00:17:21,715 Speaker 1: to eleven and believed only by morons and rich losers 227 00:17:21,995 --> 00:17:25,715 Speaker 1: who have never held any elected office other than the 228 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:30,475 Speaker 1: Senate seat they bought from Wisconsin. They brought down Ron's 229 00:17:30,515 --> 00:17:33,795 Speaker 1: brain with a controlled demolition long before nine to eleven. 230 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:37,715 Speaker 1: Also today, the last king of five thirty eight dot 231 00:17:37,755 --> 00:17:41,075 Speaker 1: com Elliot Morris reports Trump has completely spent his approval 232 00:17:41,155 --> 00:17:44,715 Speaker 1: ratings on immigration and the economy and the cost of living. 233 00:17:45,195 --> 00:17:48,195 Speaker 1: At the beginning of February, he was a net plus 234 00:17:48,515 --> 00:17:53,155 Speaker 1: eight on the economy plus eight. He's now at minus ten. 235 00:17:54,395 --> 00:17:56,555 Speaker 1: At the same time, he was plus five on the 236 00:17:56,555 --> 00:18:00,395 Speaker 1: cost of living, He's now at minus twenty two. And 237 00:18:00,475 --> 00:18:03,595 Speaker 1: on immigration. In the middle of February, he was at 238 00:18:03,675 --> 00:18:06,715 Speaker 1: plus twelve. He's now at just plus two and a half. 239 00:18:07,675 --> 00:18:13,435 Speaker 1: On immigration, he is hemorrhaging his support specifically and generally 240 00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:17,075 Speaker 1: the overall. When he was at plus five in February, 241 00:18:17,115 --> 00:18:20,915 Speaker 1: he is now twelve points lower at minus seven. New 242 00:18:20,995 --> 00:18:24,795 Speaker 1: theory on the Christy Nome handbag theft, the one literally 243 00:18:24,835 --> 00:18:27,675 Speaker 1: stolen out from under her at a DC restaurant with 244 00:18:27,795 --> 00:18:30,915 Speaker 1: three thousand dollars in cash inside to pay for the 245 00:18:30,915 --> 00:18:36,035 Speaker 1: family Easter dinner. I assume because the cash anyway, because 246 00:18:36,035 --> 00:18:39,315 Speaker 1: her family had long since learned to disbelieve her promises 247 00:18:39,435 --> 00:18:42,555 Speaker 1: like I'll put it on my card or I'll take 248 00:18:42,595 --> 00:18:46,835 Speaker 1: care of your dog. Police think the culprit at an 249 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:50,835 Speaker 1: adjoining table gradually pushed the handbag away from Nome with 250 00:18:50,995 --> 00:18:54,595 Speaker 1: their foot. My addition to this theory is that Nome 251 00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:57,515 Speaker 1: has by now had so much work done that she 252 00:18:57,635 --> 00:19:00,835 Speaker 1: could not move her head anymore to the side to 253 00:19:01,075 --> 00:19:05,515 Speaker 1: check if the White House Correspondence din there is Saturday, 254 00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:08,555 Speaker 1: having been forced to attend in two different centuries in 255 00:19:08,675 --> 00:19:12,155 Speaker 1: far happier circumstances. My pro tip to the members of 256 00:19:12,195 --> 00:19:16,715 Speaker 1: the DC political media industrial complex consists of just two words, 257 00:19:17,675 --> 00:19:24,315 Speaker 1: uber eats and your pete. Hegseth update. He's still there, 258 00:19:25,035 --> 00:19:29,235 Speaker 1: I guess, but he's clearly not all there. Jennifer Jacobs 259 00:19:29,275 --> 00:19:31,595 Speaker 1: of CBS News reports that heg Seth has made a 260 00:19:31,675 --> 00:19:34,435 Speaker 1: major change at the Pentagon. He has spent thousands of 261 00:19:34,475 --> 00:19:37,595 Speaker 1: dollars to install in the green room next to the 262 00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:44,075 Speaker 1: press briefing room, a makeup room, a new director's chair, 263 00:19:44,435 --> 00:19:49,395 Speaker 1: and a large mirror with vanity bulbs has been installed. 264 00:19:49,795 --> 00:19:54,395 Speaker 1: All true, says the Pentagon, but the heg Seth spokesperson 265 00:19:54,555 --> 00:19:59,515 Speaker 1: proudly insists Pete Hegseth does not have a makeup artist. 266 00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:05,995 Speaker 1: He does his own makeup himself. Because all fighters need 267 00:20:05,995 --> 00:20:11,875 Speaker 1: to know when to powder their nose. And Trump is 268 00:20:11,955 --> 00:20:16,515 Speaker 1: still behind hag Seth because we all presidents need to 269 00:20:16,555 --> 00:20:18,915 Speaker 1: know when to empty another can of spray on their 270 00:20:18,955 --> 00:20:22,835 Speaker 1: hair matrix or another car load lot of bronzer on 271 00:20:22,875 --> 00:20:26,955 Speaker 1: their reptilian skin. Here we go again, It's just a 272 00:20:26,995 --> 00:20:30,035 Speaker 1: waste of time he is doing. He is doing a 273 00:20:30,075 --> 00:20:35,675 Speaker 1: great job. Because he's doing a great jobs to ask 274 00:20:35,715 --> 00:20:39,515 Speaker 1: the hoodies how he's doing it? Why were they in 275 00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:47,075 Speaker 1: the signal Chat two? Also of interest here, no word 276 00:20:47,155 --> 00:20:50,115 Speaker 1: yet from HBO Max as to when and where the 277 00:20:50,235 --> 00:20:55,475 Speaker 1: memorial services will be held for Bill Maher's career, now 278 00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:58,635 Speaker 1: that it has been ended by a pitch perfect guest 279 00:20:58,835 --> 00:21:01,675 Speaker 1: essay in the New York Times. If by now you 280 00:21:01,755 --> 00:21:04,075 Speaker 1: have somehow not read it, I am not going to 281 00:21:04,115 --> 00:21:07,875 Speaker 1: spoil your surprise by telling you about it, reading from it, 282 00:21:08,155 --> 00:21:11,795 Speaker 1: nor telling you who the author is. Well, I'm not 283 00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:14,875 Speaker 1: going to do that now. I'll do it next This 284 00:21:14,995 --> 00:21:42,595 Speaker 1: is countdown. This is countdown with Keith Olberman. Stell ahead 285 00:21:42,595 --> 00:21:46,995 Speaker 1: on this initiative countdown all new as it is. Did 286 00:21:47,035 --> 00:21:49,315 Speaker 1: I ever tell you about the time I sang and 287 00:21:49,515 --> 00:21:54,675 Speaker 1: danced on Broadway? I mean in an actual Broadway show, 288 00:21:54,755 --> 00:22:00,075 Speaker 1: actually on Broadway, a political Broadway show. No, I didn't 289 00:22:00,115 --> 00:22:04,195 Speaker 1: tell you because I had completely forgotten about it until 290 00:22:04,235 --> 00:22:06,915 Speaker 1: I went to see George Clooney in Goodnight and good Luck, 291 00:22:07,475 --> 00:22:10,395 Speaker 1: And then I forgot about it again until it turned 292 00:22:10,435 --> 00:22:12,955 Speaker 1: out that my foot doctor's offices across the street from 293 00:22:12,955 --> 00:22:16,675 Speaker 1: where George Clooney is doing Goodnight in good Luck. Anyway, 294 00:22:17,915 --> 00:22:20,555 Speaker 1: my Broadway career that was so bad it would have 295 00:22:20,595 --> 00:22:24,035 Speaker 1: made zero Mostelle and or Nathan Lane and the producers 296 00:22:24,275 --> 00:22:29,435 Speaker 1: proud next in things I promised not to tell first, 297 00:22:29,475 --> 00:22:31,675 Speaker 1: Believe it or not, there's still more new idiots to 298 00:22:31,715 --> 00:22:34,355 Speaker 1: talk about. The roundup of the miss Grants, morons and 299 00:22:34,395 --> 00:22:39,275 Speaker 1: Dunning Krueger effect specimens who constitute the latest other worse 300 00:22:39,835 --> 00:22:45,755 Speaker 1: persons in the world worse than me dancing on Broadway 301 00:22:46,355 --> 00:22:51,155 Speaker 1: Lebron's worst Congressman Derek Van Orden. If you want a leaving, 302 00:22:51,555 --> 00:22:56,195 Speaker 1: breathing example of evidence that the new research is correct 303 00:22:56,755 --> 00:22:59,955 Speaker 1: that for years the American military has been giving our 304 00:23:00,355 --> 00:23:06,915 Speaker 1: war fighters brain damage and PTSD because our weapons move 305 00:23:07,235 --> 00:23:11,395 Speaker 1: so violently when they are shot or otherwise employed, that 306 00:23:11,635 --> 00:23:17,075 Speaker 1: just training on them literally shakes a soldier's brain. If 307 00:23:17,075 --> 00:23:19,235 Speaker 1: you need to be able to point at somebody and say, 308 00:23:19,915 --> 00:23:22,835 Speaker 1: like this guy, look at the brain damage the military 309 00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:25,955 Speaker 1: did to this guy. All he did was shoot a rifle. 310 00:23:26,875 --> 00:23:30,795 Speaker 1: It's Congressman Van Orden of Wisconsin. I mean, I don't 311 00:23:30,795 --> 00:23:34,155 Speaker 1: know how this actually works, because I'm not a brain surgeon, 312 00:23:34,475 --> 00:23:37,635 Speaker 1: but it always seemed to me, having had a concussion, 313 00:23:37,915 --> 00:23:39,995 Speaker 1: that if you had a small brain to begin with, 314 00:23:40,275 --> 00:23:44,315 Speaker 1: it would rattle more, thus creating more damage. But who knows, 315 00:23:44,355 --> 00:23:45,995 Speaker 1: maybe if you have a small brain to begin with, 316 00:23:46,035 --> 00:23:51,435 Speaker 1: there's less two damage. Anyway, Van Orden has got major, 317 00:23:51,795 --> 00:23:56,235 Speaker 1: major issues. He's got anger problems, he's got seeming delusions 318 00:23:56,275 --> 00:24:00,915 Speaker 1: of grandeurs, he likes to order people around, and of 319 00:24:00,955 --> 00:24:04,995 Speaker 1: course he is a buffoonish idiot. Maybe it was the 320 00:24:04,995 --> 00:24:08,635 Speaker 1: machinery in the army that caused this one social media 321 00:24:08,715 --> 00:24:10,915 Speaker 1: disaster the other day. Maybe it was just that he 322 00:24:10,995 --> 00:24:16,235 Speaker 1: was made this way. Governor Tony Evers of Wisconsin tweeted 323 00:24:16,355 --> 00:24:19,635 Speaker 1: a video trying to hook the upcoming National Football League 324 00:24:19,715 --> 00:24:23,595 Speaker 1: Draft in Green Bay, Wisconsin with the year of the Kid. 325 00:24:24,195 --> 00:24:27,955 Speaker 1: So Van Orden found a way to take this benign, 326 00:24:28,275 --> 00:24:32,235 Speaker 1: kind of meaningless, generic tweet and turn it into a 327 00:24:32,275 --> 00:24:35,635 Speaker 1: way to express all of his own problems anger, low 328 00:24:35,715 --> 00:24:40,555 Speaker 1: class use of language, conspiracy theory, addiction, stupidity. And he 329 00:24:40,635 --> 00:24:44,315 Speaker 1: did this all in a retweet of only ten words 330 00:24:44,435 --> 00:24:46,915 Speaker 1: in length. Got to hand it to him for that 331 00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:54,035 Speaker 1: great job. Turd a sitting US Congress and rights referring 332 00:24:54,035 --> 00:24:56,395 Speaker 1: to the governor of his own state. How many kids 333 00:24:56,395 --> 00:25:01,475 Speaker 1: in Milwaukee can read? And of course Van Orden misspelled 334 00:25:01,475 --> 00:25:07,395 Speaker 1: the word how he spelled it hoe, So the RT 335 00:25:07,715 --> 00:25:12,395 Speaker 1: actually reads and continued to read all day ho many 336 00:25:12,515 --> 00:25:17,275 Speaker 1: kids in Milwaukee can read, which by itself tells you 337 00:25:17,315 --> 00:25:19,875 Speaker 1: everything you need to know about Derek Van Orden, but which, 338 00:25:20,115 --> 00:25:23,355 Speaker 1: because of that one word ho, may lead us down 339 00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:25,555 Speaker 1: the path of wondering if there's another issue mister Van 340 00:25:25,675 --> 00:25:29,275 Speaker 1: Orden has been dealing with any who the runner up 341 00:25:29,315 --> 00:25:34,155 Speaker 1: worser Ryan kill mead to Fox and Friends. I've mentioned before, 342 00:25:34,195 --> 00:25:36,395 Speaker 1: it's a real hall of fame of dumb white guys 343 00:25:36,435 --> 00:25:41,195 Speaker 1: and gals over there. Jesse Waters will Cain, Janine Piro, 344 00:25:41,995 --> 00:25:46,315 Speaker 1: Rachel Campos, Duffy. But if you had first draft choice, 345 00:25:46,355 --> 00:25:49,995 Speaker 1: where would you go, where would you start? You would 346 00:25:49,995 --> 00:25:53,355 Speaker 1: start with kill Mead. He has been there forever. He 347 00:25:53,395 --> 00:25:56,155 Speaker 1: has been there literally twice as long as anybody else. 348 00:25:56,675 --> 00:26:00,395 Speaker 1: And now he's made a major major boo boo even 349 00:26:00,435 --> 00:26:06,315 Speaker 1: for him interviewing his former colleague eat as in PTSD. 350 00:26:06,835 --> 00:26:10,035 Speaker 1: I'll just text it to you Hegseth at eight twenty 351 00:26:10,075 --> 00:26:14,115 Speaker 1: one Eastern the other morning. Brian Kilmead was clearly upset 352 00:26:14,275 --> 00:26:17,915 Speaker 1: at having to do this interview, and with good reason, nervous, worried. 353 00:26:18,475 --> 00:26:21,995 Speaker 1: Heg Seth was so jumpy, arms flailing, mugging to the 354 00:26:21,995 --> 00:26:24,075 Speaker 1: camera twice as much as usual that you would have 355 00:26:24,115 --> 00:26:26,275 Speaker 1: thought he was just coming in at that hour of 356 00:26:26,315 --> 00:26:29,555 Speaker 1: the morning, not just getting up. Hey wait a minute, 357 00:26:29,595 --> 00:26:32,355 Speaker 1: maybe he was just kidding him. No, no, I bet 358 00:26:32,395 --> 00:26:35,755 Speaker 1: he was just coming in. Any who. Kill Mead's part 359 00:26:35,795 --> 00:26:38,355 Speaker 1: of this was saying, as usual, exactly what the Trumpsts 360 00:26:38,675 --> 00:26:40,715 Speaker 1: did not want him to say, the Freudian slip of 361 00:26:40,755 --> 00:26:43,955 Speaker 1: all Freudian slips. At the moment quote here to set 362 00:26:43,995 --> 00:26:48,995 Speaker 1: the record straight himself, the former secretary, the current Secretary 363 00:26:49,115 --> 00:26:55,675 Speaker 1: of State Pete Hegseth. First off, state no, I'm sorry, 364 00:26:55,715 --> 00:27:01,035 Speaker 1: I would have accepted secretary of Defense or secretary of vodka. 365 00:27:01,115 --> 00:27:08,795 Speaker 1: Also the former secretary you called Hegseth, the former secretary 366 00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:13,995 Speaker 1: you meant to call him the former secretary of Defense, Brian, 367 00:27:14,075 --> 00:27:16,115 Speaker 1: I believe that's what we call in the business a 368 00:27:16,355 --> 00:27:24,515 Speaker 1: spoiler alert, bro. But our winner Bill Maher or whatever 369 00:27:24,915 --> 00:27:27,635 Speaker 1: is now left of him, and frankly, all that is 370 00:27:27,755 --> 00:27:30,835 Speaker 1: left of him now is pretty much graffiti. If you 371 00:27:30,955 --> 00:27:35,115 Speaker 1: have not read the best piece of satirical newswriting this year, 372 00:27:35,835 --> 00:27:38,275 Speaker 1: I urge you to go do so. It was in 373 00:27:38,355 --> 00:27:42,635 Speaker 1: Monday's New York Times op ed section, and as in 374 00:27:42,675 --> 00:27:46,515 Speaker 1: the last episode, I now read from somebody else's epic 375 00:27:46,635 --> 00:27:52,195 Speaker 1: literary composition. First it was the objective power is Power 376 00:27:52,315 --> 00:27:55,795 Speaker 1: speech by O'Brien has written by Orwell in the novel 377 00:27:55,875 --> 00:27:58,475 Speaker 1: nineteen eighty four. But now I would like to read 378 00:27:59,235 --> 00:28:02,275 Speaker 1: just a couple of paragraphs from this instant classic in 379 00:28:02,315 --> 00:28:04,595 Speaker 1: the New York Times, and I urge you to go 380 00:28:04,955 --> 00:28:09,395 Speaker 1: finish it. There is not one wasted word nor misplaced 381 00:28:09,435 --> 00:28:13,155 Speaker 1: comma in the whole damn beautiful thing. Title of the 382 00:28:13,195 --> 00:28:19,595 Speaker 1: guest essay, my dinner with Adolph opening three paragraphs, I 383 00:28:19,635 --> 00:28:23,835 Speaker 1: have to quote them. I can't edit it down. Quote. 384 00:28:24,715 --> 00:28:27,915 Speaker 1: Imagine my surprise when in the spring of nineteen thirty 385 00:28:27,995 --> 00:28:30,515 Speaker 1: nine a letter arrived at my house inviting me to 386 00:28:30,635 --> 00:28:34,955 Speaker 1: dinner at the Old Chancellory with the world's most reviled man, 387 00:28:35,235 --> 00:28:38,315 Speaker 1: Adolf Hitler. I had been a vocal critic of his 388 00:28:38,395 --> 00:28:41,275 Speaker 1: on the radio from the beginning, pretty much predicting everything 389 00:28:41,275 --> 00:28:43,515 Speaker 1: he was going to do on the road to dictatorship. 390 00:28:44,435 --> 00:28:47,155 Speaker 1: No one I knew encouraged me to go. He's Hitler, 391 00:28:47,195 --> 00:28:50,635 Speaker 1: He's a monster. But eventually I concluded that hate gets 392 00:28:50,755 --> 00:28:53,875 Speaker 1: us nowhere. I knew I couldn't change his views, but 393 00:28:53,995 --> 00:28:56,595 Speaker 1: we need to talk to the other side, even if 394 00:28:56,675 --> 00:29:00,995 Speaker 1: it has invaded and annexed other countries and committed unspeakable 395 00:29:01,035 --> 00:29:05,875 Speaker 1: crimes against humanity. Two weeks later, I found myself on 396 00:29:05,915 --> 00:29:08,595 Speaker 1: the front steps of the Old Chancellory and was led 397 00:29:08,635 --> 00:29:11,715 Speaker 1: into an opulent livering room where a few of the 398 00:29:11,835 --> 00:29:17,115 Speaker 1: Furor's most vocal supporters had gathered, Himmler, Gering Lany Riefenstahl, 399 00:29:17,595 --> 00:29:22,755 Speaker 1: and the Duke of Windsor, formerly King Edward the Eighth. 400 00:29:22,835 --> 00:29:25,875 Speaker 1: We talked about some of the beautiful art on the 401 00:29:25,955 --> 00:29:28,475 Speaker 1: walls that had been taken from the homes of Jews. 402 00:29:29,075 --> 00:29:32,435 Speaker 1: But our conversation ended abruptly when we heard loud footsteps 403 00:29:32,435 --> 00:29:37,355 Speaker 1: coming down the hallway. Everyone stiffened as Hitler entered the room. 404 00:29:38,435 --> 00:29:41,395 Speaker 1: He was wearing a tan suit with a swastika armband 405 00:29:41,595 --> 00:29:45,595 Speaker 1: and gave me an enthusiastic greeting that caught me off guard. Frankly, 406 00:29:45,795 --> 00:29:47,915 Speaker 1: it was a warmer greeting than I normally get from 407 00:29:47,915 --> 00:29:51,075 Speaker 1: my parents, and it was accompanied by a slap on 408 00:29:51,115 --> 00:29:54,555 Speaker 1: my back. I found the whole thing quite disarming. I 409 00:29:54,675 --> 00:29:56,355 Speaker 1: joked that I was surprised to see him in a 410 00:29:56,395 --> 00:29:59,075 Speaker 1: tan suit, because if he wore that out, it would 411 00:29:59,075 --> 00:30:03,995 Speaker 1: be perceived as unfeurerlike. That amused him to no end, 412 00:30:04,275 --> 00:30:07,235 Speaker 1: and I I realized I'd never seen him laugh before. 413 00:30:07,755 --> 00:30:11,075 Speaker 1: Suddenly he seems so human here. I was prepared to 414 00:30:11,115 --> 00:30:14,635 Speaker 1: meet Hitler, the one I'd seen and heard, the public Hitler, 415 00:30:15,195 --> 00:30:19,795 Speaker 1: But this private Hitler was a completely different animal, And 416 00:30:19,835 --> 00:30:24,355 Speaker 1: oddly enough, this one seemed more authentic, like this was 417 00:30:24,475 --> 00:30:28,155 Speaker 1: the real Hitler. The whole thing had my head spinning. 418 00:30:31,115 --> 00:30:34,835 Speaker 1: Forgive my sudden move towards my pathetic impression of the 419 00:30:34,835 --> 00:30:38,315 Speaker 1: pathetic mar but it seemed fitting at the moment. I 420 00:30:38,395 --> 00:30:41,795 Speaker 1: might add this piece, this extraordinary bit of writing, only 421 00:30:41,795 --> 00:30:46,315 Speaker 1: gets better from here. And I add further that with admiration, pride, 422 00:30:46,715 --> 00:30:48,955 Speaker 1: and as somebody who's actually written stuff for The Times 423 00:30:48,955 --> 00:30:53,475 Speaker 1: op ed page's pure bright green envy, I am not 424 00:30:53,675 --> 00:30:57,675 Speaker 1: in the same universe as the author of that, and 425 00:30:57,755 --> 00:31:02,675 Speaker 1: the author of that is, of course Larry David, somebody 426 00:31:02,715 --> 00:31:07,155 Speaker 1: I'm proud to call a friend and friend of the podcast. Again, 427 00:31:07,515 --> 00:31:12,275 Speaker 1: read the whole thing. That's just the start. This part 428 00:31:12,315 --> 00:31:15,955 Speaker 1: about the the art stolen from the homes of Jews, 429 00:31:16,075 --> 00:31:19,435 Speaker 1: just thrown away like that. Oh my goodness. The irony, 430 00:31:19,475 --> 00:31:22,675 Speaker 1: of course, is as the historian Rick Pearlstein noted in 431 00:31:22,715 --> 00:31:27,115 Speaker 1: the thirties, the Nazis really did what Larry David fantasizes 432 00:31:27,155 --> 00:31:29,715 Speaker 1: about in this piece in The Times. They really did 433 00:31:29,755 --> 00:31:33,595 Speaker 1: bring critics in to meet Hitler at one of Hitler's homes, 434 00:31:34,235 --> 00:31:37,635 Speaker 1: and mostly they did this to tamp down the widespread 435 00:31:37,635 --> 00:31:41,955 Speaker 1: assumptions in Germany that the unmarried Hitler was gay. There 436 00:31:42,035 --> 00:31:45,795 Speaker 1: is even a book about this campaign, this pr whitewashing, 437 00:31:46,715 --> 00:31:50,155 Speaker 1: that invited the Bill Mahers of nineteen thirty nine to 438 00:31:50,235 --> 00:31:53,115 Speaker 1: come meet the Donald Trump of nineteen thirty nine. The 439 00:31:53,155 --> 00:31:59,275 Speaker 1: book is titled Hitler at Home by Despina Stratagatos from 440 00:31:59,435 --> 00:32:05,315 Speaker 1: Yale Books from twenty fifteen. Larry sat top is so 441 00:32:05,515 --> 00:32:10,075 Speaker 1: good it's real. The fact of that book makes Larry's 442 00:32:10,115 --> 00:32:15,315 Speaker 1: piece even better. But nothing, nothing will ever top the 443 00:32:15,355 --> 00:32:19,715 Speaker 1: best part of Larry's vivisection of Mar, which is he 444 00:32:19,795 --> 00:32:24,555 Speaker 1: never wants in the piece mentions Mar by name, never 445 00:32:24,795 --> 00:32:30,075 Speaker 1: mentions Mar's obsequious, squirming praise of Trump after dinner with 446 00:32:30,155 --> 00:32:33,835 Speaker 1: him at the Old Chancellery. Now there could be a 447 00:32:33,875 --> 00:32:36,835 Speaker 1: good reason for not mentioning Bill Maher, because after what 448 00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:39,755 Speaker 1: Larry David wrote about him, there no longer is a 449 00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:45,435 Speaker 1: Bill Maher left to mention Bill. I hope they saved 450 00:32:45,435 --> 00:32:47,195 Speaker 1: what's left of him to drop with the rest of 451 00:32:47,235 --> 00:32:50,435 Speaker 1: the confetti in Times Square on New Year's Eve, Mar 452 00:32:50,835 --> 00:33:11,555 Speaker 1: two days other worst person hellowel to the number one 453 00:33:11,635 --> 00:33:14,235 Speaker 1: story on the Countdown and things I promised not to tell, 454 00:33:14,235 --> 00:33:17,555 Speaker 1: And this actually falls into the category of things I 455 00:33:17,755 --> 00:33:21,795 Speaker 1: forgot to tell. It may be a sign of age. 456 00:33:21,915 --> 00:33:24,675 Speaker 1: I like to think it's a sign of having done 457 00:33:24,715 --> 00:33:28,155 Speaker 1: so much in a now fifty year career. In front 458 00:33:28,195 --> 00:33:32,955 Speaker 1: of microphones and audiences. But it could be the idea 459 00:33:32,955 --> 00:33:36,715 Speaker 1: of age. But I had, until a couple of weeks ago, 460 00:33:36,755 --> 00:33:43,195 Speaker 1: completely forgotten that I once sang and danced on Broadway. 461 00:33:44,195 --> 00:33:46,435 Speaker 1: I don't mean out in the street when I used 462 00:33:46,475 --> 00:33:49,795 Speaker 1: to work in Times Square, I mean on the Broadway 463 00:33:49,875 --> 00:33:55,115 Speaker 1: stage with an audience who paid money to see it. 464 00:33:56,795 --> 00:34:00,195 Speaker 1: I was not the star of the show, thank goodness. 465 00:34:00,195 --> 00:34:04,315 Speaker 1: It would have closed during the first act. But nonetheless 466 00:34:05,355 --> 00:34:08,675 Speaker 1: I sang and danced on the stage of the Blasco Theater. 467 00:34:09,115 --> 00:34:13,235 Speaker 1: And I did it twice, meaning someone made the decision 468 00:34:13,235 --> 00:34:15,475 Speaker 1: that after the first time I did it, they should 469 00:34:15,475 --> 00:34:19,435 Speaker 1: have me come back and do it again. Here's the background. 470 00:34:20,075 --> 00:34:22,795 Speaker 1: In the spring of twenty seventeen, I got a call 471 00:34:22,835 --> 00:34:26,595 Speaker 1: from Michael Moore. Michael and I have done countless things together, 472 00:34:27,155 --> 00:34:30,635 Speaker 1: landmark events in our respective careers. He was the first 473 00:34:30,675 --> 00:34:33,755 Speaker 1: guest on the first edition of Countdown on Current TV 474 00:34:33,875 --> 00:34:37,795 Speaker 1: in twenty eleven, when we beat both CNN and MSNBC 475 00:34:38,755 --> 00:34:42,755 Speaker 1: in the ratings, even though our network was in digital 476 00:34:42,915 --> 00:34:44,995 Speaker 1: might as well have been in black and white, might 477 00:34:45,035 --> 00:34:48,755 Speaker 1: as well have been available only in three cities in 478 00:34:48,795 --> 00:34:52,155 Speaker 1: the country, and we beat them. And Mike did that 479 00:34:53,075 --> 00:34:55,875 Speaker 1: I did it too. Mostly Mike. We did a thing, 480 00:34:55,955 --> 00:34:58,235 Speaker 1: believe it or not, speaking of Bill Maher, we did 481 00:34:58,235 --> 00:35:00,555 Speaker 1: a thing for Bill Maher in which Michael and I 482 00:35:00,675 --> 00:35:04,595 Speaker 1: did the halftime show when mar Once did a live 483 00:35:04,795 --> 00:35:06,835 Speaker 1: stand up special on HBO and then went to a 484 00:35:06,875 --> 00:35:10,555 Speaker 1: different studio to do a live edition of his Real 485 00:35:11,075 --> 00:35:14,475 Speaker 1: time I Capitulate to Trump. Whatever the name of the 486 00:35:14,475 --> 00:35:17,635 Speaker 1: show is called. We did the show in between while 487 00:35:17,635 --> 00:35:20,275 Speaker 1: he went from one theater to the other in Washington. 488 00:35:20,755 --> 00:35:24,035 Speaker 1: And we've been on each other's programs, and on each 489 00:35:24,035 --> 00:35:30,315 Speaker 1: other's podcasts and on each other's coat tails for years. 490 00:35:30,875 --> 00:35:33,675 Speaker 1: Michael and I have always gotten along very well, and 491 00:35:34,355 --> 00:35:36,715 Speaker 1: that's often a challenge, both for him and for me. 492 00:35:37,355 --> 00:35:39,715 Speaker 1: The call for Michael was he's going to do a 493 00:35:39,795 --> 00:35:43,395 Speaker 1: one man show on Broadway, but they can't really trust 494 00:35:43,435 --> 00:35:46,595 Speaker 1: it to be just one person. They want to experiment. 495 00:35:46,635 --> 00:35:49,515 Speaker 1: They've done a couple of them already, but in previews, 496 00:35:50,315 --> 00:35:52,915 Speaker 1: you know, one guy talking for an hour and a half, 497 00:35:52,995 --> 00:35:56,595 Speaker 1: as good as that might be, is a little challenging 498 00:35:56,595 --> 00:35:59,795 Speaker 1: if you're seated in a theater and you're expecting, I 499 00:35:59,875 --> 00:36:05,355 Speaker 1: don't know, the Lion King songs something. Now, they did 500 00:36:05,355 --> 00:36:08,435 Speaker 1: have a wow finish to this thing that was songs 501 00:36:09,275 --> 00:36:13,155 Speaker 1: and lights and dancing, but that you didn't see till 502 00:36:13,195 --> 00:36:16,195 Speaker 1: the end. So the idea was, let's break this up 503 00:36:16,195 --> 00:36:19,515 Speaker 1: at some point. Let's have a surprise guest, a different 504 00:36:19,595 --> 00:36:22,875 Speaker 1: guests show up in the middle of Michael's one man 505 00:36:22,995 --> 00:36:27,835 Speaker 1: show every night at the Belasco Theater, unannounced, and just 506 00:36:28,155 --> 00:36:31,755 Speaker 1: have Michael talk to him ten minutes, twenty minutes, whatever works. 507 00:36:32,275 --> 00:36:34,155 Speaker 1: Would you come in, Keith and be one of the 508 00:36:34,155 --> 00:36:36,235 Speaker 1: first people we try this with, In fact, would you 509 00:36:36,315 --> 00:36:38,235 Speaker 1: be the first person we will try this with? And 510 00:36:38,235 --> 00:36:41,355 Speaker 1: I said, of course I would. So I get to 511 00:36:41,395 --> 00:36:44,595 Speaker 1: the theater and they explained to me what we're going 512 00:36:44,635 --> 00:36:46,315 Speaker 1: to do and how I'm going to enter and just 513 00:36:46,395 --> 00:36:48,235 Speaker 1: walk on, And I said, you sure? You just want 514 00:36:48,275 --> 00:36:50,595 Speaker 1: me to walk on? People are going to think I'm 515 00:36:50,635 --> 00:36:52,195 Speaker 1: just rushing the stage, aren't they? 516 00:36:52,315 --> 00:36:52,515 Speaker 3: Oh? 517 00:36:52,675 --> 00:36:55,235 Speaker 1: No, people will recognize you instantly. And no, that's not 518 00:36:55,275 --> 00:36:58,515 Speaker 1: a problem or anything. I went, are you sure anyway? 519 00:36:59,635 --> 00:37:02,715 Speaker 1: Then they said at the end of the show, the 520 00:37:02,715 --> 00:37:06,075 Speaker 1: premise of Michael's show is that to defeat Trump, we 521 00:37:06,155 --> 00:37:10,475 Speaker 1: must confront our fears. We must some of us choose 522 00:37:10,515 --> 00:37:13,835 Speaker 1: to run for office. We must express ourselves when we 523 00:37:13,875 --> 00:37:16,875 Speaker 1: are not used to expressing ourselves. We must protest when 524 00:37:16,915 --> 00:37:19,915 Speaker 1: we're not used to protesting, and we must put ourselves 525 00:37:19,995 --> 00:37:21,755 Speaker 1: on the line to some degree. And he used as 526 00:37:21,795 --> 00:37:26,235 Speaker 1: an example something that really rang home with me. Four years, 527 00:37:26,275 --> 00:37:31,515 Speaker 1: four decades. The death knell of anyone's career in entertainment 528 00:37:31,555 --> 00:37:35,315 Speaker 1: in America has been the dreaded invitation to appear on 529 00:37:35,315 --> 00:37:40,275 Speaker 1: one show, and one show alone in American television, Dancing 530 00:37:40,515 --> 00:37:43,675 Speaker 1: with the Stars. When you are asked to be on 531 00:37:43,915 --> 00:37:47,995 Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars, it means you are or shortly 532 00:37:48,075 --> 00:37:55,715 Speaker 1: will be dead to the world of television. Yes they 533 00:37:55,755 --> 00:38:01,435 Speaker 1: invited me. Yes, I simply burned the letter. Yes they 534 00:38:01,475 --> 00:38:03,795 Speaker 1: invited Tucker Carlson, and he did the one thing you 535 00:38:03,795 --> 00:38:08,235 Speaker 1: should never do, which is say yes. And he has 536 00:38:08,275 --> 00:38:10,595 Speaker 1: been since dead to the world of television. He now 537 00:38:10,675 --> 00:38:13,435 Speaker 1: is out there in the extremes, first to Fox and 538 00:38:13,475 --> 00:38:19,035 Speaker 1: now to a place where he's not reachable by human language. 539 00:38:19,195 --> 00:38:20,755 Speaker 1: I mean, he had a good head start on that, 540 00:38:20,955 --> 00:38:24,675 Speaker 1: but this really is this is no I think on 541 00:38:24,795 --> 00:38:27,835 Speaker 1: behalf of the United States of America. I as the 542 00:38:27,915 --> 00:38:31,475 Speaker 1: judge ruling on your sanity case, say you know, etc. 543 00:38:32,075 --> 00:38:35,315 Speaker 1: But that's another topic for another edition of Things I 544 00:38:35,355 --> 00:38:38,995 Speaker 1: Promise Not to Tell back to Michael Moore and the 545 00:38:39,035 --> 00:38:43,515 Speaker 1: invitation to appear on Dancing with the Stars. He was invited. 546 00:38:44,555 --> 00:38:47,995 Speaker 1: Not only did he recognize, as we all do intuitively, 547 00:38:48,395 --> 00:38:53,835 Speaker 1: that's the end, but he also particularly because like me, 548 00:38:54,235 --> 00:38:57,315 Speaker 1: he's not necessarily a great dancer. He's a big guy 549 00:38:57,555 --> 00:38:59,915 Speaker 1: like me, he's a little bigger guy than I am, 550 00:38:59,955 --> 00:39:03,595 Speaker 1: in fact, and he's not really confident about physical motions 551 00:39:03,635 --> 00:39:07,595 Speaker 1: in public. So he thought, what would be a great 552 00:39:07,635 --> 00:39:11,235 Speaker 1: example to people in the audience of really challenging yourself 553 00:39:11,235 --> 00:39:14,555 Speaker 1: at this time when we need to challenge ourselves, was 554 00:39:14,635 --> 00:39:18,435 Speaker 1: to actually say, tell the story about being invited on 555 00:39:18,515 --> 00:39:20,395 Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars, and then at the end of 556 00:39:20,435 --> 00:39:24,635 Speaker 1: the show, do a version of Dancing with the Stars. 557 00:39:25,795 --> 00:39:28,475 Speaker 1: Put on a top hat, put on a glittery jacket, 558 00:39:28,675 --> 00:39:31,795 Speaker 1: have a professional dancer just like I'm Dancing with the Stars, 559 00:39:31,955 --> 00:39:35,555 Speaker 1: appear out of nowhere in a beautiful skirt with all 560 00:39:35,635 --> 00:39:39,435 Speaker 1: kinds of beads on it and glits and tirly things, 561 00:39:39,475 --> 00:39:42,035 Speaker 1: and she comes out onto the stage going sixty miles 562 00:39:42,075 --> 00:39:45,115 Speaker 1: an hour in a perfect semi circle. And then he 563 00:39:45,155 --> 00:39:48,075 Speaker 1: gets up and dances with her, and as I'm being 564 00:39:48,115 --> 00:39:50,075 Speaker 1: made up to go out and do my little cameo. 565 00:39:50,155 --> 00:39:53,675 Speaker 1: They say, now, would you mind participating in this? And 566 00:39:53,755 --> 00:39:57,235 Speaker 1: I was like, wait, you didn't mention this before. No, 567 00:39:57,435 --> 00:40:00,035 Speaker 1: we find that it's probably a better idea just to 568 00:40:00,075 --> 00:40:02,835 Speaker 1: bring this up. Once you're here inside the Belasco Theater, 569 00:40:03,595 --> 00:40:05,515 Speaker 1: just stay till the end of the show. And here's 570 00:40:05,515 --> 00:40:07,715 Speaker 1: what we want you to do. It's nothing big. When 571 00:40:07,795 --> 00:40:13,635 Speaker 1: Michael is out there dancing with the woman from essentially 572 00:40:13,755 --> 00:40:16,715 Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars, we want you to again appear 573 00:40:16,755 --> 00:40:20,435 Speaker 1: out of nowhere, go out onto the stage and interrupt 574 00:40:20,475 --> 00:40:22,635 Speaker 1: them dancing. And I went and then danced with the 575 00:40:23,155 --> 00:40:26,595 Speaker 1: woman from Dancing with the Stars. No, we want you 576 00:40:26,675 --> 00:40:33,035 Speaker 1: to tap her on the shoulder and start dancing with Michael. Well, 577 00:40:33,075 --> 00:40:35,155 Speaker 1: I'm as open minded as the next guy, but it 578 00:40:35,195 --> 00:40:38,435 Speaker 1: seemed to me that this was probably a bad idea, 579 00:40:39,155 --> 00:40:42,555 Speaker 1: so I did it anyway. I also had, as I 580 00:40:42,555 --> 00:40:46,155 Speaker 1: have had recently, problems with my feet, so I was 581 00:40:46,195 --> 00:40:50,915 Speaker 1: actually in bad shape knee and foot wise. And yet 582 00:40:51,275 --> 00:40:54,915 Speaker 1: the possibility of being on stage on a Broadway stage 583 00:40:56,155 --> 00:40:58,155 Speaker 1: at least this one time in my life. I mean, 584 00:40:58,195 --> 00:41:01,475 Speaker 1: when would I get the opportunity to dance in public 585 00:41:01,515 --> 00:41:05,195 Speaker 1: however badly I might do it. There were a few 586 00:41:05,275 --> 00:41:08,395 Speaker 1: extra added efforts to this. Well, for one thing. The 587 00:41:08,475 --> 00:41:12,435 Speaker 1: other part of this was Michael's fear of being arrested 588 00:41:12,515 --> 00:41:15,595 Speaker 1: for saying something, for some sort of threat that he 589 00:41:15,715 --> 00:41:19,035 Speaker 1: might be perceived as making against Trump by doing this show, 590 00:41:19,075 --> 00:41:22,795 Speaker 1: and it was a setup for the police to come 591 00:41:22,835 --> 00:41:26,155 Speaker 1: get him while he's dancing with the woman and then 592 00:41:26,475 --> 00:41:29,915 Speaker 1: the guest star me. So this first night, they're still 593 00:41:29,915 --> 00:41:34,355 Speaker 1: officially in previews, I come out unannounced, and I can 594 00:41:34,435 --> 00:41:37,355 Speaker 1: hear this kind of from the crowd, like there's a 595 00:41:37,475 --> 00:41:40,715 Speaker 1: terrorist rushing the stage. I'm thinking, I told you so. 596 00:41:41,035 --> 00:41:43,715 Speaker 1: And I just come out and I'm wearing a Lavalier 597 00:41:43,755 --> 00:41:46,475 Speaker 1: microphone that no one can see even on the stage. 598 00:41:46,675 --> 00:41:48,555 Speaker 1: And I just come out and Michael says, it's Keith 599 00:41:48,555 --> 00:41:51,995 Speaker 1: ol Rimman. Everybody, and a nice response and a nice 600 00:41:51,995 --> 00:41:54,675 Speaker 1: conversation and thanks for coming out. And I walked off 601 00:41:54,715 --> 00:41:57,835 Speaker 1: the stage and I said, do you agree with me now? 602 00:41:57,915 --> 00:42:00,555 Speaker 1: And the producer went, yeah, you should have like at 603 00:42:00,635 --> 00:42:04,195 Speaker 1: least a microphone. And I said, you gotta do a bit. Well, 604 00:42:04,235 --> 00:42:05,635 Speaker 1: we want you to come back and do it went 605 00:42:05,715 --> 00:42:08,355 Speaker 1: so well. I said, you haven't seen me dance yet, No, 606 00:42:08,515 --> 00:42:11,595 Speaker 1: that's even better, especially if you break something. So at 607 00:42:11,595 --> 00:42:14,035 Speaker 1: the end of the show, I'm standing in the wings, going, 608 00:42:14,155 --> 00:42:16,995 Speaker 1: what in the hell am I doing here? What am 609 00:42:16,995 --> 00:42:20,915 Speaker 1: I doing here? Why am I out here dancing? I 610 00:42:20,955 --> 00:42:24,515 Speaker 1: can't dance. He can't dance, but he's been practicing, he's 611 00:42:24,555 --> 00:42:27,035 Speaker 1: been taking lessons. He's been talking about how he couldn't 612 00:42:27,035 --> 00:42:29,155 Speaker 1: go on Dancing with the Stars because he can't dance. 613 00:42:29,275 --> 00:42:31,475 Speaker 1: So what did he do? He took dancing lessons. He's 614 00:42:31,515 --> 00:42:34,195 Speaker 1: not going on Broadway every night not knowing how to dance. 615 00:42:34,395 --> 00:42:37,675 Speaker 1: You are going on Broadway tonight not knowing how to dance. 616 00:42:39,675 --> 00:42:41,395 Speaker 1: So of course it was a terrible idea, and I 617 00:42:41,435 --> 00:42:44,595 Speaker 1: did it anyway. Among other things, the dancer was really cute, 618 00:42:45,475 --> 00:42:48,635 Speaker 1: not Michael, but the professional dancer. So I come out 619 00:42:48,675 --> 00:42:52,315 Speaker 1: and interrupt and start dancing with him, and then start 620 00:42:52,435 --> 00:42:56,155 Speaker 1: dancing with her, at which point the cops descend on 621 00:42:56,195 --> 00:43:00,635 Speaker 1: the stage. And now the audience is really scared because 622 00:43:00,675 --> 00:43:03,395 Speaker 1: Michael has talked about something that he said that might 623 00:43:03,435 --> 00:43:07,315 Speaker 1: get him arrested. Now it looks like he's getting arrested, 624 00:43:07,555 --> 00:43:10,915 Speaker 1: and maybe me too. I didn't know about the cops 625 00:43:10,955 --> 00:43:13,835 Speaker 1: coming on to the stage. I was as surprised as anybody. 626 00:43:14,075 --> 00:43:16,795 Speaker 1: I went then and realized, that's probably not a cop. 627 00:43:16,835 --> 00:43:19,875 Speaker 1: He's wearing makeup, not even in New York. Is that 628 00:43:19,955 --> 00:43:23,915 Speaker 1: a likelihood? So I did the whole dramatic, you know, 629 00:43:24,315 --> 00:43:27,915 Speaker 1: perils of Pauline Dudley do wright protect the girl with 630 00:43:27,995 --> 00:43:30,995 Speaker 1: both hands. The dancer, the woman dancer. I shouldn't call 631 00:43:30,995 --> 00:43:33,995 Speaker 1: her a girl, but that's the image she was projecting. 632 00:43:34,155 --> 00:43:38,475 Speaker 1: So I'm protecting this professional woman dancer, shielding her with 633 00:43:38,515 --> 00:43:41,195 Speaker 1: my body, and Michael is being arrested, and then of 634 00:43:41,195 --> 00:43:45,955 Speaker 1: course it turns out the cops are stripper cops, and 635 00:43:46,075 --> 00:43:48,355 Speaker 1: so they play the music again, and we're all out 636 00:43:48,355 --> 00:43:50,995 Speaker 1: there dancing and the stripper cops are down to their 637 00:43:51,155 --> 00:43:54,675 Speaker 1: g strings and I'm trying to dance with the woman 638 00:43:54,795 --> 00:43:57,275 Speaker 1: and Michael is dancing with them, and then the curtain falls, 639 00:43:57,275 --> 00:43:59,955 Speaker 1: and I went, oh my god, I'm never doing this again. 640 00:44:01,235 --> 00:44:03,475 Speaker 1: They called two weeks later and asked me to do 641 00:44:03,515 --> 00:44:06,035 Speaker 1: it again, and of course I said, yeah, yes, only 642 00:44:06,115 --> 00:44:10,395 Speaker 1: this time. Well, I'll tell you the punchline to it. 643 00:44:10,435 --> 00:44:12,915 Speaker 1: At the appropriate moment, I did say to them I 644 00:44:12,995 --> 00:44:16,475 Speaker 1: have a better idea for the entrance, and they said, great, 645 00:44:16,555 --> 00:44:19,715 Speaker 1: we have come up with this idea where a couple 646 00:44:19,795 --> 00:44:21,915 Speaker 1: of doors open in the middle of the stage and 647 00:44:21,995 --> 00:44:24,795 Speaker 1: you come out through that and you're holding a handheld microphone, 648 00:44:24,795 --> 00:44:27,555 Speaker 1: so it doesn't look like a terrorist attack. And I said, 649 00:44:27,715 --> 00:44:29,755 Speaker 1: but there's got to be a bit. There's got to 650 00:44:29,755 --> 00:44:33,675 Speaker 1: be some interruption that matches the interruption in the monologue, 651 00:44:33,675 --> 00:44:36,395 Speaker 1: because nobody's being told in advance that there is a 652 00:44:36,435 --> 00:44:39,395 Speaker 1: guest star. Nobody knows this. It's not being built. And 653 00:44:39,435 --> 00:44:42,035 Speaker 1: in fact, if I remember correctly, they eventually put it 654 00:44:42,035 --> 00:44:44,475 Speaker 1: in the program. Don't tell people that there's a guest star. 655 00:44:45,035 --> 00:44:46,995 Speaker 1: First off, some nights they couldn't get a guest star. 656 00:44:47,395 --> 00:44:49,275 Speaker 1: There's a guest star. Oh, there isn't a guest star. 657 00:44:49,955 --> 00:44:54,475 Speaker 1: So I come out with a microphone. The spotlight is 658 00:44:54,515 --> 00:44:57,475 Speaker 1: on me suddenly as Michael goes, wait, who's that is that? 659 00:44:58,475 --> 00:45:03,915 Speaker 1: And I come out going this, I do this. Hello, 660 00:45:04,075 --> 00:45:11,075 Speaker 1: my name is Elder Key. Oh sorry wrong theater, big laugh. 661 00:45:11,195 --> 00:45:13,755 Speaker 1: It is, of course, the opening words of the opening 662 00:45:13,795 --> 00:45:17,395 Speaker 1: song from Book of Mormon, the only musical I've ever seen. 663 00:45:17,675 --> 00:45:20,835 Speaker 1: In fact, I've seen it twelve times. My argument that 664 00:45:20,875 --> 00:45:23,755 Speaker 1: anybody could sing for three seconds was proved correct. I 665 00:45:23,875 --> 00:45:26,915 Speaker 1: sang on Broadway. I had already danced on Broadway. It 666 00:45:26,955 --> 00:45:29,155 Speaker 1: was time for me to sing on Broadway too, and 667 00:45:29,315 --> 00:45:33,555 Speaker 1: it was a good way to explain what the hell 668 00:45:33,795 --> 00:45:37,595 Speaker 1: is happening here audience. And we had another nice conversation, 669 00:45:37,915 --> 00:45:40,035 Speaker 1: and in fact, some news had just broken that I 670 00:45:40,075 --> 00:45:41,715 Speaker 1: was able to give him. We were able to act 671 00:45:41,915 --> 00:45:44,155 Speaker 1: and react to just things that had just happened in 672 00:45:44,195 --> 00:45:47,475 Speaker 1: trump Land. And then we finished the show with the 673 00:45:47,515 --> 00:45:50,075 Speaker 1: whole bit where I came out and danced. And now 674 00:45:50,115 --> 00:45:53,475 Speaker 1: I'm prepared and I can really dramatically shield the dancer 675 00:45:53,755 --> 00:45:56,475 Speaker 1: when the stripper cops come out to arrest us. All 676 00:45:57,515 --> 00:46:01,355 Speaker 1: but here is the punchline. I had thought about this, 677 00:46:02,315 --> 00:46:04,915 Speaker 1: and thought about this as I was waiting to go 678 00:46:04,995 --> 00:46:07,755 Speaker 1: on during the preview, during the first time to dance, 679 00:46:08,435 --> 00:46:13,595 Speaker 1: that the smell of burning Ham that I could perceive 680 00:46:13,795 --> 00:46:19,875 Speaker 1: in the Belasco Theater was in fact me that long 681 00:46:19,915 --> 00:46:22,155 Speaker 1: ago desire to be an actor that I've told you 682 00:46:22,195 --> 00:46:26,515 Speaker 1: about in a previous episode, when I was instinctively aware 683 00:46:26,555 --> 00:46:29,395 Speaker 1: of how I could improve a scene in the odd 684 00:46:29,475 --> 00:46:32,795 Speaker 1: couple while doing it in the moment, I come up 685 00:46:32,915 --> 00:46:37,435 Speaker 1: with a few lines and a few movements and stares 686 00:46:37,515 --> 00:46:42,595 Speaker 1: that got laughs, and the producer of this in high school, 687 00:46:42,595 --> 00:46:45,235 Speaker 1: who was the high school advisor, to the drama group 688 00:46:45,275 --> 00:46:47,755 Speaker 1: and to the newspaper in the radio stations, I said, 689 00:46:48,035 --> 00:46:51,315 Speaker 1: forget all that, f all that go and become an actor. 690 00:46:51,355 --> 00:46:53,555 Speaker 1: You have instincts none of the rest of us have. 691 00:46:54,355 --> 00:46:56,515 Speaker 1: We could never teach you. You could become one of 692 00:46:56,555 --> 00:46:59,955 Speaker 1: the great actors. I'm dead serious. And then in the 693 00:46:59,995 --> 00:47:02,875 Speaker 1: next time we did the show, the youngest member of 694 00:47:02,915 --> 00:47:05,195 Speaker 1: the cast froze on stage. We had to bring the 695 00:47:05,195 --> 00:47:07,235 Speaker 1: curtain down in the middle of the odd couple. He 696 00:47:07,315 --> 00:47:11,115 Speaker 1: went off stage and face planted and wailed for fifteen minutes. 697 00:47:11,235 --> 00:47:12,835 Speaker 1: And I said, I never want to get this close 698 00:47:12,875 --> 00:47:15,195 Speaker 1: to it again. I never want to see this again, 699 00:47:15,275 --> 00:47:18,115 Speaker 1: let alone risk it happening to me. So my career 700 00:47:18,235 --> 00:47:21,835 Speaker 1: as an actor died that day. And here it was 701 00:47:21,915 --> 00:47:24,675 Speaker 1: coming back and saying, no, you can do it now, 702 00:47:25,675 --> 00:47:29,475 Speaker 1: Remember you have the gift. Step out in front of 703 00:47:29,515 --> 00:47:35,915 Speaker 1: the lights. Everything will be fine. And I went and 704 00:47:35,995 --> 00:47:37,995 Speaker 1: danced with a badfoot and a bad knee and no 705 00:47:38,075 --> 00:47:41,555 Speaker 1: ability to dance, and then stripper cops. So now the 706 00:47:41,635 --> 00:47:44,475 Speaker 1: second time, here's the punchline to it. When they asked 707 00:47:44,475 --> 00:47:47,355 Speaker 1: me to do it again on Broadway. What did I do? 708 00:47:49,875 --> 00:47:54,795 Speaker 1: I brought a change of clothes for the second appearance. 709 00:47:55,435 --> 00:48:00,755 Speaker 1: I had changed into a kind of fusia colored dimpled 710 00:48:01,355 --> 00:48:06,835 Speaker 1: smoking jacket for the dance scene. That's how much of 711 00:48:06,875 --> 00:48:12,995 Speaker 1: a burning Ham I really was. The next day, by coincidence, 712 00:48:13,155 --> 00:48:16,315 Speaker 1: I spoke to my friend, the late Norman Lloyd, the actor, 713 00:48:16,355 --> 00:48:19,355 Speaker 1: who was then about one hundred and three years old, 714 00:48:20,435 --> 00:48:24,315 Speaker 1: who said, oh, you're at the Belasco two points. I 715 00:48:24,435 --> 00:48:27,595 Speaker 1: made my debut on Broadway at the Belasco. I was 716 00:48:27,635 --> 00:48:31,795 Speaker 1: in nineteen thirty eight with Awson. He met orson Wells, 717 00:48:32,915 --> 00:48:36,955 Speaker 1: of course, and he also said, what time was this? 718 00:48:37,515 --> 00:48:41,755 Speaker 1: I said, well, the dancing part, Yes, the dancing part, 719 00:48:41,835 --> 00:48:44,435 Speaker 1: What time was that? The singing? I said that was 720 00:48:44,555 --> 00:48:48,875 Speaker 1: probably about I don't know, nine forty five, so six 721 00:48:49,075 --> 00:48:53,555 Speaker 1: forty five my time here in La Yes, that explains 722 00:48:53,595 --> 00:48:57,555 Speaker 1: what I smelled. I had this awful smell coming from 723 00:48:57,555 --> 00:48:58,115 Speaker 1: the east. 724 00:48:58,435 --> 00:49:13,635 Speaker 3: It smelled like it smelled like burning Ham. 725 00:49:13,835 --> 00:49:16,475 Speaker 1: I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank 726 00:49:16,515 --> 00:49:23,355 Speaker 1: you for listening. That's me burning Ham. But it's nice 727 00:49:23,395 --> 00:49:25,195 Speaker 1: to think that my late friend Norman Lloyd and I 728 00:49:25,275 --> 00:49:28,875 Speaker 1: both made our Broadway debuts on the same stage. He 729 00:49:28,955 --> 00:49:32,475 Speaker 1: did a little better than I did, although I shielded 730 00:49:32,475 --> 00:49:36,595 Speaker 1: that dancer really well. Brian Ray and John Phillip shaneil 731 00:49:36,635 --> 00:49:39,755 Speaker 1: the musical directors have Countdown, arranged, produced, and performed most 732 00:49:39,795 --> 00:49:43,195 Speaker 1: of our music. Mister Chanelle handled orchestration and keyboards. Mister 733 00:49:43,275 --> 00:49:45,715 Speaker 1: Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums. It was 734 00:49:45,755 --> 00:49:49,795 Speaker 1: produced by Tko Brothers. Our satirical and pithy musical comments 735 00:49:49,835 --> 00:49:53,075 Speaker 1: are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust. 736 00:49:53,395 --> 00:49:56,795 Speaker 1: The sports music is the Olderman theme from ESPN two, 737 00:49:56,835 --> 00:50:00,195 Speaker 1: written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. Other 738 00:50:00,315 --> 00:50:03,195 Speaker 1: music arranged and performed by the group. No horns allowed 739 00:50:03,675 --> 00:50:09,195 Speaker 1: except for that three snippet from Book of Mormon. My 740 00:50:09,235 --> 00:50:13,635 Speaker 1: announcer today was my friend, the new op ed editor 741 00:50:13,675 --> 00:50:17,275 Speaker 1: of The New York Times, Larry David. Everything else was, 742 00:50:17,435 --> 00:50:21,675 Speaker 1: as ever my fault. That's countdown for today. Day ninety 743 00:50:21,715 --> 00:50:25,595 Speaker 1: five of America held hostage just three hundred and sixty 744 00:50:25,635 --> 00:50:28,475 Speaker 1: eight days until the scheduled end of his lane duck 745 00:50:28,515 --> 00:50:32,035 Speaker 1: and lame brained term, unless Musk removes him sooner or 746 00:50:32,075 --> 00:50:36,075 Speaker 1: the actuarial tables do the next scheduled countdown is Thursday, 747 00:50:36,795 --> 00:50:41,315 Speaker 1: as always, bulletins as the news warrants, No, this is Thursday. 748 00:50:41,635 --> 00:50:43,875 Speaker 1: I was going to mention the fact that I might 749 00:50:43,955 --> 00:50:46,755 Speaker 1: be a little cloudy because of the medication for my foot, 750 00:50:46,795 --> 00:50:50,795 Speaker 1: which continues to worsen. I'll say it again. The next 751 00:50:50,835 --> 00:50:56,275 Speaker 1: scheduled countdown is Monday, unless unless I forget because of 752 00:50:56,315 --> 00:51:00,195 Speaker 1: the medication. As always, bulletins, as the news warrants, unless 753 00:51:00,195 --> 00:51:02,315 Speaker 1: I can't do them because of the medication or the 754 00:51:02,355 --> 00:51:04,635 Speaker 1: fact that my foot is breaking off in small pieces. 755 00:51:05,475 --> 00:51:08,795 Speaker 1: Remember impeach Trump. It won't work now, it will win 756 00:51:08,835 --> 00:51:12,275 Speaker 1: the Democrats the midterms. I want pulling on a presidential 757 00:51:12,315 --> 00:51:15,715 Speaker 1: recall vote. And by the way, when I walk downhill now, 758 00:51:15,795 --> 00:51:18,795 Speaker 1: because of this foot, I look like Trump did after 759 00:51:18,835 --> 00:51:23,835 Speaker 1: that one speech at West Point. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. Till 760 00:51:23,915 --> 00:51:27,115 Speaker 1: next time, if there is one. I'm Keith Oldrimman. Good morning, 761 00:51:27,155 --> 00:51:55,115 Speaker 1: good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olreman 762 00:51:55,315 --> 00:51:59,795 Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, 763 00:51:59,955 --> 00:52:03,955 Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get 764 00:52:03,995 --> 00:52:04,755 Speaker 1: your podcast s.