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Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast, everybody. Before we get started, I

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Speaker 1: would like to reflect on this podcast, well, actually on

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Speaker 1: the podcast, but I would like to reflect about something else.

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Speaker 1: I would like to reflect about my vacation with my

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Speaker 1: family this year, because I didn't really say enough about it.

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Speaker 1: So to give you some context, last year, we all

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Speaker 1: went on vacation for two weeks to Martha's vineyard, and

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Speaker 1: that was too much time together. And at the end

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Speaker 1: of the vacation, I wrote my entire family a long

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Speaker 1: letter saying these are the rules moving forward, and gave

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Speaker 1: several examples of behavior that I was not accepting of

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Speaker 1: or will tolerate any more in the future, and made

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Speaker 1: sure that everyone knew that, you know, please, thank you,

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Speaker 1: and making eye contact are important things to have going

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Speaker 1: on in your repertoire as a human being. So I

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Speaker 1: said that letter. I mean, it took me a long

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Speaker 1: time to write it because I had to edit it,

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Speaker 1: because you know, the first version of that letter is

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Speaker 1: like fuck you. The second version is like fuck you guys,

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Speaker 1: but I love you, and then the third version is

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Speaker 1: I love you but not but I love you. And

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Speaker 1: so I started out with a lot of love and

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Speaker 1: I wrote a very heartfelt letter to my family and

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Speaker 1: they received it really well. My whole family last summer

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Speaker 1: felt really badly that anything had gone you know, wrong,

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Speaker 1: or nobody seemed appreciative or gracious or you know, whatever

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Speaker 1: my complaints may have been. And it was good because

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Speaker 1: it was like, you know, a post therapy letter, like

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Speaker 1: I would not have had the tools to write that letter.

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Speaker 1: If I hadn't gone to therapy. I wouldn't even be here.

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Speaker 1: If I hadn't gone to therapy, I probably would have

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Speaker 1: just started having road rage and eventually murdered somebody. So

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Speaker 1: they received the letter really well, which is great. And

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Speaker 1: then this year we had another vacation and the women

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Speaker 1: who came into cleaning the house in the morning came

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Speaker 1: up to me and this woman was like, I just

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Speaker 1: have to tell you, like, your family is the most polite,

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Speaker 1: nice family we've ever worked for. And I just thought,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I had two years in my eyes

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Speaker 1: I was, so I was like, meanwhile, you should see

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Speaker 1: the letter I wrote them last summer, and that's why

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Speaker 1: they're acting like this. But whatever, whatever gets the horse

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Speaker 1: to the water, right. So that was a good therapy

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Speaker 1: before the middle and after thing for me and I

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Speaker 1: thought I would share it with the audience, because it

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Speaker 1: really works when you take the time to think about

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Speaker 1: sending something and not just firing stuff off even when

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Speaker 1: you're texting. Like I was texting my friend the other

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Speaker 1: morning and she kind of was going back and forth

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Speaker 1: and that I just could tell that the texting, the

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Speaker 1: tempo of the texting was no longer fun or ingest

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Speaker 1: or like. It just became like angry texting, and I

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Speaker 1: just noticed it, and I thought, this isn't fun. You

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Speaker 1: know those people you see at the airport that are

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Speaker 1: like pounding into their phone as they're walking down like

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Speaker 1: the corridor or whatever the hell it's called. I guess

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Speaker 1: it's called a hole. That's not a hot look either.

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Speaker 1: I think we have mentioned that before. But it's once

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Speaker 1: you get some self awareness and realize, oh, you're guilty

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Speaker 1: of doing these things too, you're like, oh, I'm not

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Speaker 1: do that. Anyway, I thought I would share that personal

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Speaker 1: story anyway, Brandon, what is our subject matter todays? Sweetheart?

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Speaker 1: What are we going to tackle? And who are we

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Speaker 1: going to tackle? Well, you are tackled. You already tackled

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Speaker 1: somebody this morning. Well, it's people that are on a

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Speaker 1: little bit of a time crunch and we all feel

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Speaker 1: that way. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, great, So we

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Speaker 1: have a caller who feels like the biological clock is ticking,

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Speaker 1: hanging bills. I mean, it's a wide variety of issues. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick break so I can have

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Speaker 1: some of my medication now, and we will be back

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Speaker 1: so we can take some questions. Our first submission comes

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Speaker 1: from Jeremy from Salt Lake City. Oh, we are familiar

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Speaker 1: with the area. Yeah, I love Salt Lakes. Well, I

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Speaker 1: don't love it. I love Park City. I don't like

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Speaker 1: the alcohol problem in Park City. I don't non problem

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Speaker 1: really because they barely let you drink. It's so annoying

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Speaker 1: to order a fucking drink in Salt Lake City in Utah,

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Speaker 1: and then it's like I don't know an eighth of

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Speaker 1: a shot that they put in a drink. And so

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Speaker 1: if you can't order a double, and you can't order

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Speaker 1: two at once, and you can't order two drinks at once,

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Speaker 1: so I can't even go to Utah. It's problematic. Remember

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Speaker 1: the show I did in Utah. I was performing at

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Speaker 1: some theater there last year and it was dry. It

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Speaker 1: was dry theater and I almost flipped out. I cannot perform.

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Speaker 1: I cannot have my fans come and not drink. Turn out,

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Speaker 1: it was like one of the best shows I've ever had,

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Speaker 1: so mean while because they probably all got really sucked

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Speaker 1: up before they got there. Yeah, they were so unfair

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Speaker 1: to go to a venue and then not be provided

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Speaker 1: with alcohol. I agree. I mean the law. That law

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Speaker 1: is so so stupid because it's the more minstake. That's okay,

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Speaker 1: It's yeah. I have a love hate relationship with Utah anyway.

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Speaker 1: So Jeremy, he's thirty seven. He's a Instagram traveler. What

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Speaker 1: a great occupation. He probably travels and posted on Instagram

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Speaker 1: being an Instagram traveler. Well you kind of were on Netflix,

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Speaker 1: he writes, Dear Chelsea, here's my dilemma. I'm thirty seven

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Speaker 1: and I've never been in a serious relationship. I just

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Speaker 1: can't seem to find anyone that I like better than

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Speaker 1: my amazing single life. Whatever should I do? Would you

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Speaker 1: give up your ski trips to do something they want

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Speaker 1: to do? So? Like, would you give up your ski

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Speaker 1: trips to prioritize something that you were dating? Like if

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Speaker 1: they want to go do something else, I think we

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Speaker 1: both knew the answer to that, but Jeremy's on the phone,

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Speaker 1: so let's see what's going on. I feel like there's

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Speaker 1: more to the situation, and I bet he is a

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Speaker 1: former Mormon. I have a sneaking suspicion. Ah, Hi, Jeremy,

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Speaker 1: how are you? Hi? How are you good? You are cute?

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Speaker 1: I'm very much a former Mormon. Are you well? I mean,

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Speaker 1: I just, I just I can appreciate with someone's cue,

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Speaker 1: I know, but it was like you're throwing yourself at

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Speaker 1: him through the through the screen would be painful. Hi, Jeremy,

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Speaker 1: you are cute. Hi. Nice to meet you. Both of

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Speaker 1: you are cute too, so thank you. I can relate. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so you're a former Mormon, former Mormon while you graduate

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Speaker 1: return missionary as Mormons say. So I've I've done all

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Speaker 1: of the things they asked me to do, but surprisingly

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Speaker 1: they never did anything that I asked them to do,

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Speaker 1: so it wasn't really a mutually beneficial relationship. Well how

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Speaker 1: do what were you asking them to do? I was

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Speaker 1: asking them to answer any of my prayers, my questions

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Speaker 1: and why everything is the way that it is, Why

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Speaker 1: can't we do this? Why can't we do that, but

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Speaker 1: yet they never really gave me anything in return for

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Speaker 1: all the things that I was so diligent in doing

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Speaker 1: for them, like not drinking for example. Right, so when

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Speaker 1: did you point? No, I know there is no point

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Speaker 1: to life cocktails, honestly, So when did you leave the church?

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Speaker 1: As they say? Yeah? So actually the last week of

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Speaker 1: December in two thousand and eight, when I graduated from

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Speaker 1: d y U, I told my family that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: sure if I wanted to date men or women, and

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Speaker 1: it just didn't go over very well as you can imagine.

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Speaker 1: That's another archaic. Yeah, well, it's I like to frame

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Speaker 1: things in a pre Glee or post Glee world because

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Speaker 1: for a lot of people, like I graduated high school

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Speaker 1: in two thousand and eight and the there was like

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Speaker 1: an acceptance or media focus on inclusion of like LGBTQ

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Speaker 1: people that kind of broadened people's scope or viewpoint on

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Speaker 1: gay youth. And that was a very tricky time, I'm

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Speaker 1: sure to tell your family, because that was before we

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Speaker 1: were kind of seeing it everywhere that like, look, the

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Speaker 1: inclusion is so important for people at a certain age.

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Speaker 1: So are you into guys girls both? What's your story?

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Speaker 1: So I'm into both. Actually I dated women. It's more

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Speaker 1: it's fun guys and girls. Why not? Yeah? Yeah? I

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Speaker 1: mean you can dis imagine flipping a coin and heads

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Speaker 1: or tails and you're like both because I win heads

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Speaker 1: or tails? Right, I get it? Do you prefer one

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Speaker 1: over the other? I have a much stronger emotional connection

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Speaker 1: to women, the women I've dated, the women that I

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Speaker 1: have in my life, and but I have a very

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Speaker 1: strong physical attraction to men and not necessarily as strong

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Speaker 1: to women. So you kind of get stuck in between

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Speaker 1: with wondering which direction do I go because I'm not

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Speaker 1: necessarily attracted just two individuals. There's characteristics I like of both,

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Speaker 1: and so I find myself going on a lot of

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Speaker 1: first dates and I'll explain to a girl that yes,

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Speaker 1: I have attraction to men, and they're like, like, that

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Speaker 1: doesn't really vibe with them. And then I tell a man, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I still enjoy going out and dating women, and there's

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Speaker 1: response is exactly the same. So you really don't know

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Speaker 1: how to be authentic when something that's at your core

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Speaker 1: most people don't understand. I could. Yeah, I can see that.

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Speaker 1: I can see that being an issue because I'm just

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Speaker 1: trying to think if I went on a date with

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Speaker 1: a guy and he said he was into guys. I

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Speaker 1: would my first reaction would be like, oh, no, then

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Speaker 1: you're not into girls. But it's not that way. Like

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Speaker 1: we're you know, as we're all learning and growing up

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Speaker 1: and getting you know, aware of the situation. It's really

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Speaker 1: not that way. It's another societal construct. You know that

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Speaker 1: men are supposed to be with girls, and you know,

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Speaker 1: and then you have a baby like, yeah, I guess.

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Speaker 1: I guess as we move forward, there's going to be

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Speaker 1: more and more people that are going to like having

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Speaker 1: sex with both sexes or attracted to a non binary person. Well,

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Speaker 1: I keep telling you could become a late in life sweetheart.

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Speaker 1: We talked about this all the time. Well, when I

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Speaker 1: do it, I'll let you know, I'll let the whole world.

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Speaker 1: I'd like you to open yourself up to that possibility sooner.

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Speaker 1: So do you want a relationship, Jeremy. So it's interesting

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Speaker 1: because I don't. I don't have anybody in my life

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Speaker 1: that I look at their relationship and I aspire to

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Speaker 1: like live like them. I feel like a lot of

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Speaker 1: people in my life aspire to live the life that

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Speaker 1: I live. So it's very hard for me to say, yes,

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Speaker 1: I want a relationship, even though at my core I

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Speaker 1: feel like I've been programmed to not be fulfilled and

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Speaker 1: complete unless like somebody else by my side, like what

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Speaker 1: do we do? Like I want to go skiing this

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Speaker 1: weekend and every weekend and every day, and you don't.

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Speaker 1: But yet I like this about you, and but it's

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Speaker 1: not a complete package. So I'm stuck trying to figure

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Speaker 1: that out. Yeah you are. Yeah, I mean it's confusing

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Speaker 1: when you talk about it, so I can understand you

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Speaker 1: being confused. Also I'm confused, lightly, are you? Sweet time? No,

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Speaker 1: I understand what you're saying, because I think that relationships

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Speaker 1: are framed in a certain way, and we are conditioned

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Speaker 1: to believe that they must maintain a certain structure in

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Speaker 1: order for them to be successful. And what we've seen

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Speaker 1: is that that's not true. And you embracing your individuality

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Speaker 1: and autonomy in that way, like I would like to

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Speaker 1: maintain these aspects of my life. What that means for

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Speaker 1: you is that you're going to have to find someone

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Speaker 1: to fit within your current lifestyle that you would like

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Speaker 1: to maintain, which is possible. Hopefully it's someone that loves

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Speaker 1: to ski on the weekends some weekends, but then wants

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Speaker 1: to take a trip on their own with their friends.

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Speaker 1: Like that is the best possible outcome. Like that you

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Speaker 1: are two individuals who can come together but still live

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Speaker 1: somewhat separate lives. Like that, there's longevity in those types

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Speaker 1: of relationships. Someone told me one time that their relationship

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Speaker 1: had lasted so long because they worked in entertainment and

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Speaker 1: that they both basically live totally separate lives. But that's

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Speaker 1: that's one way to keep a relationship alive. Is not altogether.

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Speaker 1: But I think, you know, I don't ever think if

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be in a relationship long term or

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Speaker 1: I just I try and appreciate my single doom while

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Speaker 1: I have it, because I know eventually there's going to

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Speaker 1: be guys around, you know, like there's always somebody popping

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Speaker 1: in and out of your life. So I really enjoy

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Speaker 1: every day that I'm alone, because I'm like, just enjoy this,

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Speaker 1: enjoy this, enjoy this. I mean, I might enjoy it

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Speaker 1: a little too much. Some would argue, right, I am selfish,

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Speaker 1: and I've become more selfish as I've gotten older, because

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Speaker 1: I realized what I like, what I want, and how

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Speaker 1: I want it right. I mean, Chelsea, I've mastered everything

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Speaker 1: you just talked about for both of you. Then it's

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Speaker 1: a reminder that when the right person materializes, you're going

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Speaker 1: to find the adaptation and inclusion of them into your

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Speaker 1: life much easier exact exactly to feel like work. It's

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Speaker 1: going to be much less effort, yes, because and then

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Speaker 1: you don't have to think about it as a compromise,

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Speaker 1: like I wouldn't let anybody into my orbit unless they

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Speaker 1: were an additive, unless they were like adding something to

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Speaker 1: the situation. I'm not going to get into a back

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Speaker 1: and forth tug of war with like a guy or

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Speaker 1: a long distance Actually long distance is a good I

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Speaker 1: like that because obviously they're not around all the time.

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Speaker 1: But I remember being in a real troubling relationship that

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Speaker 1: I was in for a couple of years and he

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Speaker 1: was in New York and I was in l A.

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Speaker 1: And we would just go back and forth and it

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Speaker 1: was just constant like who's doing what? And how can

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Speaker 1: I show up for you? And how can you show

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Speaker 1: up for me? And it was like it was just

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Speaker 1: so depleting, like all of that negotiation and the compromise.

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Speaker 1: So I understand what you're saying about compromising things, it

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Speaker 1: can be depleting to an extent if that person isn't

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Speaker 1: primarily just adding something to your life. I wonder about

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Speaker 1: long term relationships too, because I can't even make a

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Speaker 1: short term or short distance or long distance. That's the

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Speaker 1: tricky part is saying, well, I want my own time,

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Speaker 1: but yet I want to see this person and I

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Speaker 1: wanted to be convenient. But I think the right person

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Speaker 1: for you changes throughout the course of your relationship. So

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Speaker 1: it's about how you can change together and keep that

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Speaker 1: relationship going as you're both changing and evolving. Because if

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Speaker 1: you had to constantly worry about the right person at

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Speaker 1: each moment, you would be going through relationships on a cycle.

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Speaker 1: Like your opinions of people change, how you feel about

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Speaker 1: them change. You have to weather some of those things.

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Speaker 1: So like you may wake up one morning and like

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Speaker 1: a woman, you may wake up one morning like a man.

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Speaker 1: Like that's going to happen in your situation. But it's

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Speaker 1: about if you find a relationship and knowing that that

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Speaker 1: person is who you want to continue to build a

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Speaker 1: life with that my new ship doesn't matter like, well,

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Speaker 1: right now they don't feel like the right person, but

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Speaker 1: long term are they like you have to see kind

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Speaker 1: of you have to do some forward thinking about where

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Speaker 1: you see your life with that person. Yeah. Like my

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Speaker 1: psychiatrist Dan, when I would talk about this, he'd be like,

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Speaker 1: do you want to be in a relationship? And I

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Speaker 1: was like, I don't know. Do what you tell me?

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Speaker 1: Do I want to be in a relationship because I

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Speaker 1: really don't know, like and he was like, you have

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Speaker 1: to think about that, and so we had conversations. I go, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want to be in a relationship. And this is

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Speaker 1: like two years ago, and he said, okay, well you

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Speaker 1: need to put yourself in situations where you're gonna be

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Speaker 1: meeting men, you know, men that you wouldn't normally run into.

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Speaker 1: And he was like, I want you to go to

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Speaker 1: this conference. I want you to do things that are

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Speaker 1: outside of your comfort zone to meet men, and literally

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Speaker 1: like a weekend. I'm like, I don't. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to meet anyone, Like after having to put that effort

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Speaker 1: for it, I'm like, it's not worth it. I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to have to make such an effort

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Speaker 1: to meet someone. You know, either I will or I won't,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not going to actively pursue it in that way,

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Speaker 1: it's just not part of my d n A. And

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Speaker 1: I'm getting the same vibe from you. You're not actively

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Speaker 1: pursuing a relationship because you probably are not ready to

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Speaker 1: have one or don't want one. Well, it's also I

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00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,480
Speaker 1: have so many amazing hobbies and activities and friends, and

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Speaker 1: you feel your life with your time is is finites right.

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Speaker 1: We all have twenty four hours in a day, and

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Speaker 1: it's like, what do I want to spend my time

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Speaker 1: doing trying to create an experience with somebody I don't

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Speaker 1: know and I've never met, but I want to meet

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Speaker 1: them or use that same time to have incredible experiences

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Speaker 1: with the people that are already in your life and

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Speaker 1: hope that at some point somebody crosses your path. When

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Speaker 1: people say when you least expected, it sounds like, okay.

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Speaker 1: My final thought on this is, I know you're saying

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Speaker 1: that you're not having luck in this area, but I

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Speaker 1: think you're gonna have much more luck finding a gay

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Speaker 1: man or another bisexual man who's going to give you

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Speaker 1: the ability to still have connections with women. Also, like,

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Speaker 1: maybe it's not gonna be a monogamous relationship, Like that's

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Speaker 1: also something that's happening all the time. It's already that

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Speaker 1: I already made that determination, and I would say. What

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Speaker 1: I would say is like, oh, yeah, I don't open

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Speaker 1: with telling people you're bisexual, but like girls. But then

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, because you have to be upfront and honest.

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Speaker 1: You have to tell people the truth right away. I'm

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Speaker 1: all for that, but it's clearly scaring girls off, so

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Speaker 1: he can't even pursue, you know, And does it scare

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Speaker 1: guys off too? Oh? Yeah, I think authenticity scares people

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Speaker 1: in general. Yeah, no, tell me about its sister. How's

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Speaker 1: your family now with your bisexuality? Are they better? I

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00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,440
Speaker 1: haven't spoken of them in almost ten years. Actually, you

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Speaker 1: don't talk to any of your siblings. Oh, what's a shame.

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Speaker 1: That is so heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. It worked out

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Speaker 1: for the better. So they are very conservative, they're not progmos,

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Speaker 1: very conservative. But it worked out for the best because

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Speaker 1: they were inhibiting me from living my best life. Yet sucks,

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Speaker 1: but I'm so happy today. How can I look back

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Speaker 1: and say, oh, I'm so mad that happened. Right, Yeah,

334
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,560
Speaker 1: that's the right attitude. But that's a big injury. Even

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Speaker 1: if it worked out for the best. It is really

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Speaker 1: hard to have your parents desert you in that way,

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Speaker 1: abandon you. And how are you vulnerable in relationship when

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Speaker 1: your most vulnerable moment in your entire life you got

339
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Speaker 1: kicked to the curb by the people that we're supposed

340
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,480
Speaker 1: to love you the most. Yea, So maybe that's a

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Speaker 1: bigger issue for you. It might be. Yeah, growing up Mormon,

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Speaker 1: you're basically trained to lie and be really good at

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Speaker 1: lying for your entire life. And when I left the church,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't have to lie anymore. I

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Speaker 1: don't have to be dishonest. I don't have to get

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Speaker 1: up in front of people and tell them that I

347
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,680
Speaker 1: believe in all of this and feel that pressure and

348
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Speaker 1: make these covenants that they talk about. And so at

349
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Speaker 1: the same time, I'm done with that phase of my life.

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Speaker 1: I don't need to lie anymore. I want to be authentic.

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Speaker 1: And that's probably been the biggest challenge in dating for me,

352
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:50,840
Speaker 1: is that my desire to be authentic and my best

353
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Speaker 1: self is not met with the same excitement that I

354
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Speaker 1: need it with in my life. Yeah, I hear what

355
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Speaker 1: you're saying. I hear what you're saying, but I think

356
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Speaker 1: You're on the right track, you know. I think that

357
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Speaker 1: you can't alter your behavior because of anyone's reaction, right,

358
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Speaker 1: you know that? So I think you are on the

359
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,879
Speaker 1: right track. And your appreciation and jade Vi for life

360
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,400
Speaker 1: is impressive, and I think yeah, and I think it does.

361
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Speaker 1: It's intense. You're an intense gy, right, and people get

362
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Speaker 1: scared of that. I can relate to that for sure,

363
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Speaker 1: But I would just say, what what are we saying, Brandon?

364
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,120
Speaker 1: What what advice are we giving here? That you really

365
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 1: don't need to make any sort of correction. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you seem to have a really good outlook on where

367
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Speaker 1: you're at, and that you know, if someone comes in,

368
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,320
Speaker 1: they're going to have to be kind of that missing

369
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:39,080
Speaker 1: puzzle piece for You're not going to rearrange to make

370
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Speaker 1: them work into your lifestyle. But I think more people

371
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 1: need to take that outlook. Yeah, I think you have

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Speaker 1: a great outlook. You're only thirty seven years old. You

373
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,080
Speaker 1: have plenty of time, so don't worry about that. And

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Speaker 1: from what you're saying, you don't even want to be

375
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Speaker 1: in a real compromising what you want it, but you

376
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,919
Speaker 1: don't want it all. I feel that too. I I

377
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 1: want it sometimes and then I'm like, no, please leave

378
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,440
Speaker 1: h I know, good luck, I guess, Jeremy, good luck.

379
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,359
Speaker 1: Hopefully we'll see you in Utass and we'll see you

380
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 1: at Park City one day. Will continue the conversation on

381
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 1: the slopes. That's that's where every problem is solved. Yeah,

382
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,520
Speaker 1: I'll do double duty. I will find you both or

383
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 1: will both come to salt like you can have sex

384
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Speaker 1: with both of us. Uh really, I don't know. I

385
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,919
Speaker 1: don't know purview to offer me. I shall do it

386
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 1: for basically anything else. So so anyway, yeah, sit with that.

387
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,159
Speaker 1: I'm going to have to sit with it, sit on it,

388
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 1: sit around it, yeah, on top of it. Okay, yes, okay,

389
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:38,120
Speaker 1: have a great day, Jerem. You know what I don't

390
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 1: like about men everything, Well, the smells, the thing that

391
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,399
Speaker 1: I have a problem like, we didn't help him out. No,

392
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 1: I don't think he was confusing. He was a little confusing.

393
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 1: There was a lot going on there, that's he was.

394
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,320
Speaker 1: He's very intense smell. And he reminded me of Christian Gray,

395
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,119
Speaker 1: who is that from like fifty Shades of Gray? Like

396
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:03,919
Speaker 1: he very unwavering but also very also not specifically right,

397
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 1: but very broad and and what he was looking for

398
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 1: our worst advice calls so far. Sweetheart. He he was,

399
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,120
Speaker 1: he was really cute, but I could see why going

400
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:18,680
Speaker 1: on a date with him would be a little exhausting. Well, yes,

401
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 1: because imagine sitting down and having all that information unloaded

402
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,119
Speaker 1: on you right away, just like I know, But what

403
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 1: I mean, he has to be honest. I respect that.

404
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,000
Speaker 1: I respect his honesty. What do you think about someone

405
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,440
Speaker 1: like that? Though? Who It wasn't a what was me

406
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:36,439
Speaker 1: or like a victim mentality, but the idea that nothing

407
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,440
Speaker 1: and no one is ever going to come along that will.

408
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,440
Speaker 1: He didn't have that, but I see I felt like

409
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 1: he did have that. He's like, I don't I can't

410
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,679
Speaker 1: find this. This isn't happening no matter what I do,

411
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 1: Like it's not happening on an app, it's not happening

412
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 1: in person. To me, I'm like, that's that's certainly not true.

413
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,040
Speaker 1: Like it has to be happening somewhere, and either you're

414
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:57,439
Speaker 1: not allowing it to come in or you're I don't know,

415
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,240
Speaker 1: Like I know, my problem is when I actively for

416
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 1: somebody to have sex with, it happens right away. When

417
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 1: I when I don't actively look, it doesn't happen, so

418
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,400
Speaker 1: it's hard to get the stamina to pursue all the time.

419
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 1: Like my sister Simones was on a date the other

420
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 1: night and she was telling me, Shanna and Simone and

421
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: I are on a text thread for Sissy's and she says,

422
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,879
Speaker 1: I went on a date from you know, Bumble or

423
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,160
Speaker 1: Hinge or whatever site she's on, and she's like, it's

424
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,239
Speaker 1: just I can't. I can't keep doing this. It's just

425
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,920
Speaker 1: too depressing the men out there. And I'm like, I know,

426
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,640
Speaker 1: the effort you have to put forth in the pursuit

427
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,680
Speaker 1: of someone is not something I'm willing to put forth.

428
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:38,399
Speaker 1: I'm not willing to put forth that. And I told Simone,

429
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,120
Speaker 1: I said, you should just give up, Like I think

430
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,719
Speaker 1: we should call it, just wrap it up and she

431
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 1: can come. We can live together and just transition into

432
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 1: our elderly lesbian state. I do think things can happen

433
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 1: organically than people assume anymore. I think that they think

434
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 1: the only means is to have these minor, very surface

435
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 1: level interactions online, and I don't believe that to be true.

436
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 1: I think you have to recondition yourself to having in

437
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,439
Speaker 1: person interactions. Everything is online, so I don't see people

438
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,639
Speaker 1: walk up to someone in a bar anymore, Like unless

439
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 1: you were on the phone and they're in your area

440
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 1: and you're on that app, there's no interaction. If people

441
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 1: had the confidence or stamina to maintain in person conversations,

442
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 1: I think you'd be much more likely to find a partner. Well,

443
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,680
Speaker 1: but then where what do you what do you mean

444
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 1: you just go and start talking to someone, Yes, you

445
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 1: give someone a compliment, you start a conversation. I don't know,

446
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 1: it can be done, it used to be done. So

447
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 1: there are other ways and outlets to find someone you're

448
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,679
Speaker 1: interested in. Join a club, find a hobby, what like

449
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 1: a lawn bowling club, what you could maybe at least

450
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 1: then you know that there's a hobby in common. Well

451
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 1: you know what I thought. I thought, Oh, I'll meet

452
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,880
Speaker 1: someone skiing, you know, on the slopes on the chairlift.

453
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 1: Like it's easy. I'm like, this is perfect, And it

454
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 1: was so hard because everyone's faces are covered, so you

455
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 1: don't even know what you're talking to. You can't see

456
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,919
Speaker 1: the person that you're talking to. So then putting the

457
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 1: effort forth and maybe not, but that's a very specific

458
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 1: example of you doing something that you like, Like, yes,

459
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 1: the chairlift is not going to be ideal for finding

460
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 1: someone because you can't see what they look like. It's

461
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 1: hard to hear them. But what about app? Right, you

462
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 1: see a guy that you find attractive, how often do

463
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 1: you walk over and start a conversation with him if

464
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: he's not part of your immediate friend or a friend

465
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:21,880
Speaker 1: of a friend. But I'm shy. Actually if people put

466
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,640
Speaker 1: themselves out more and that isn't attractive quality that someone

467
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,360
Speaker 1: just swalks up to you to start a conversation. Yeah, yeah,

468
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,119
Speaker 1: I get shy around guys that I like. I do.

469
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,639
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is. It doesn't match my personality.

470
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 1: Like I want them to take the lead and I

471
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 1: want them to take control and I want them to

472
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 1: come over. But if everyone waits for that, no one

473
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:41,919
Speaker 1: gets anywhere. All sucking on these apps, get off the app,

474
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,919
Speaker 1: stop annoying. I was like texting with some guy on

475
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 1: Riya and I was like, I can't do this. Even

476
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 1: that was like, I'm like it's even opening That Ryan

477
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 1: app is like too much for me. But people also,

478
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 1: this is advice for anyone who's dating because this is

479
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,160
Speaker 1: something I deal with with all of my friends who

480
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 1: are on Ryan or Bumble or Tinder. There's conversation, but

481
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 1: there's no setup to actually get together, Like I would

482
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 1: exchange two messages like hey, we both liked each other's profile.

483
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 1: How are you, how's your day going? Whatever? Hey, I'm

484
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 1: available one night this week. Do you want to grab dinner?

485
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 1: Like you need to set it up immediately because there

486
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 1: are too many people, there are too many other sources

487
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 1: to grab their attention. You need to get them on

488
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 1: the fucking hook. If you're that interested in them, you

489
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 1: need to set a date to do something. They're just like, no,

490
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 1: we've been talking for three months. I'm like, for what

491
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 1: are they your counselor I think it's like, like what

492
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: then are you talking about for three months on? It's

493
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: like a modern day penpal. I also don't want to

494
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 1: talk on the phone before I meet the person. I

495
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 1: want to see them and if there's anything to talk about,

496
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: we'll find out about it. You know what I mean.

497
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to be on the phone. I don't

498
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: want you to FaceTime me, and I don't want to

499
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 1: FaceTime you, and I don't want to talk for a

500
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 1: long period of time before we meet up. That is

501
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: not going to I also have a proposed set up

502
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: for dates is that everyone should set it up for

503
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 1: a drink and have a reservation made for dinner just

504
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 1: in case, but you don't tell that person that. So

505
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:55,919
Speaker 1: you you both know that you're going to drinks at

506
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: a specific location. You find a restaurant nearby for a

507
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,239
Speaker 1: reservation for dinner in case it's going well. That way,

508
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 1: you can say, hey, like I set this up, do

509
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 1: you want to go grab dinner? But you haven't out.

510
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,719
Speaker 1: We're like, you know, happy hour's gonna last so long

511
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: and you've got to get out of there. Yeah, I'm

512
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 1: gonna do that tonight. I'm gonna If I see someone

513
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 1: cute at Hotel bel Air, I'm going there for early

514
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: dinner tonight, I'll go up to them. And then I realized, oh,

515
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,399
Speaker 1: I'm in l A. I'll already know people there. You

516
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like l A is, there's something

517
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,199
Speaker 1: about l A that makes it very hard to to

518
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 1: be freestyle like that, like l A Is. Well, I

519
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,679
Speaker 1: would like to challenge you. That's my advice to you.

520
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 1: I would like to challenge you that in a social

521
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 1: setting next time with people you don't know, if you

522
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 1: find someone attractive that you start a conversation. Okay, and

523
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:34,439
Speaker 1: you are good at that. You can go give him

524
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 1: a compliment about something there you you will find a

525
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 1: way suite hurt without a doubt. I know you're right.

526
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,360
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do that. Actually, we're gonna do that. That's

527
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,360
Speaker 1: gonna be. I'm gonna go up and approach man now

528
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 1: from now on. I think that's exactly what I need

529
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 1: to do, because I could do it for anything else

530
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,400
Speaker 1: in my life. It's just that one area that I'm

531
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 1: like a little girl like well, and there's no reason

532
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: for you to hurt your beautiful sweetheart. Oh God, stop it.

533
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: Our next mission comes from Marissa from San Diego. She's

534
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 1: twenty nine. She's starting law school. She writes, Dear Chelsea,

535
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: I'm almost a thirty year old woman, and I was

536
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 1: hit really hard during COVID nineteen. Before coronavirus, I was

537
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,600
Speaker 1: in a two year long term relationship. I had a

538
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 1: job I loved in the entertainment industry, and I lived

539
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 1: in an apartment in a cool part of l A.

540
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 1: Since then, I've lost my job, my apartment, and broke

541
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: up with my boyfriend after I found out he was

542
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,959
Speaker 1: cheating on me. As of right now, I'm struggling with

543
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,199
Speaker 1: what to do on the relationship front. I'm planning on

544
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: starting law school in the fall. I also want to

545
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,199
Speaker 1: get married and have kids. At some point, I just

546
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 1: feel like my biological clock is running out of time.

547
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 1: I feel overwhelmed trying to figure out how to balance

548
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 1: education and career and trying to have a family. How

549
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 1: can I work through all of these things? How did

550
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: you prioritize your career? These are struggles we all go through. Merissa,

551
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:49,160
Speaker 1: are you on the line, Yeah, I'm here. Hi, Marissa, Hi,

552
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 1: Sorry about your boyfriend cheating on you. It's okay. It happens.

553
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 1: It does happen. It does happen, and it's not the

554
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: end of the world. But I would say right off

555
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 1: the bat that prioritizing your education shin and going to

556
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 1: law school is a you'll probably meet somebody in law

557
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 1: school and be that's more important than meeting somebody right now, Like,

558
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 1: you have to take care of yourself and get yourself

559
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,199
Speaker 1: on the right track, so that takes priority, you know.

560
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: So that's your first point of operation, is going to school,

561
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,880
Speaker 1: taking care of yourself, doing what's best so that you're

562
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,680
Speaker 1: able to take care of you. Yeah, that's I mean,

563
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,199
Speaker 1: that's kind of what I'm trying to work through, is

564
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: like focusing on myself but also just freaking out, like

565
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 1: am I running out of time? Am I just gonna

566
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: get lost in? Like like working to become a lawyer. Well,

567
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 1: you have to remember that the time construct is being

568
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 1: placed on you. So you think that you need to

569
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: achieve these things by a certain point because that's what

570
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,960
Speaker 1: you've seen. But you're still young, Like, you'll go through

571
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,719
Speaker 1: law school. You'll get through law school. You will have

572
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 1: plenty of time for a family and to find a partner.

573
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,120
Speaker 1: And I think once you get through law school, you'll

574
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 1: realize that it's not as critical in terms of timing

575
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 1: as it feels right now because you just have so

576
00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 1: much going on and you know you're about to enter

577
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,879
Speaker 1: this new stage of life that you want to be

578
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,199
Speaker 1: able to check all these boxes. But the list will

579
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 1: still be there to check when you get done with

580
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 1: law school and you're in a better position, and it's

581
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 1: very likely like every lawyer I know, well not every

582
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,120
Speaker 1: lawyer I know, but a lot of people. You're gonna

583
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 1: meet so many people in law school. You don't even

584
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 1: know what your life is going to be like in

585
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,439
Speaker 1: four years, you know, and what your priorities are going

586
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 1: to be like and if you're gonna want if you're

587
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: going to feel the same way that you feel right now.

588
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: And it's a difficult time. You're coming out of COVID.

589
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,120
Speaker 1: You know, you've said you've been really hit hard by this.

590
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 1: I believe you, you know, and so this isn't a

591
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,639
Speaker 1: time for you to be worrying about making sure that

592
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 1: you're ticking all these boxes. You have to take it

593
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 1: one step at a time. And we get overwhelmed when

594
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: we think we have to do everything all at one time. Everything.

595
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 1: There's an urgency for all of it. When your life

596
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 1: is kind of unraveled in a certain way and you're

597
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: trying to weave it all back together, everything feels like

598
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: it has to be done right now, right now, right now,

599
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,959
Speaker 1: and it doesn't. And you're doing the most important thing

600
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: right now, which is setting yourself up for success later.

601
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: I think about how much easier it's going to be

602
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: to have a family and kids once you're an attorney.

603
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 1: Yeah that's true. Yeah, I won't be in like a

604
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: small apartment just trying to figure things out right. Yeah, No,

605
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 1: that totally makes sense. That's very calming actually and very helpful.

606
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 1: And we we both feel that way in different ways,

607
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 1: like we both there's an urgency with work or there's

608
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 1: this has to be done right now, right now, right now,

609
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 1: And sometimes she'll have to say it to me like hey,

610
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 1: you're wound tight, or elf to tell her like it's

611
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 1: on the list, but this is an urgent. There are

612
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: other things we need to get done first. And so

613
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: it's not just you. Everyone feels this way and everyone's

614
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: personal life feels like it's not where they want it

615
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 1: to be, but it will be yeah, yeah, And just

616
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: feeling like I've lost a year because of COVID, but

617
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 1: trying to realize like everyone kind of was going through

618
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: the same thing. So yeah, that and everything is temporary. Listen,

619
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 1: everyone is coming out of COVID and it has had

620
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: a hard year everybody. Some people have been hit really

621
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 1: hard and some people less so. But you have to

622
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: be okay with not knowing what is going to happen.

623
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 1: You have to get comfortable with that because you know,

624
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 1: if you're tied too tightly to a plan and it

625
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 1: doesn't work, then it's you're causing yourself suffering. You know,

626
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: you have to be okay with like, Okay, this is

627
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 1: the step I'm taking here, this is what's happening now,

628
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,239
Speaker 1: and maybe later down the road you can think of that.

629
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,719
Speaker 1: But it's not like it doesn't have to happen immediately.

630
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 1: You don't have to find your husband and have your

631
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 1: children and and you know and check that box. It

632
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 1: doesn't it's just not necessary. Yeah, okay, thank you so much.

633
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 1: Was that helpful? Yeah, that was really helpful. Okay, like

634
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 1: help me put into perspective like not trying to do

635
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 1: everything at once, right, make sure you remind yourself of that. Yeah,

636
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 1: for sure. Okay, thank you, Massa, take care, Thank you

637
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 1: so much, you too, Bye bye. Our next submission comes

638
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 1: from Alex from nyc. Uh. They're a music teacher. I'm

639
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 1: not saying there, Bex. I'm not sure they're preferred pronoun

640
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: or where they are on that spectrum. Oh, Alex, I

641
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 1: was just I was just about to read your submission.

642
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 1: But since you're here, why don't you just why don't

643
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 1: you just give us a breakdown of what's going on now? Okay? Sure,

644
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 1: Hi guys, so M I guess the biggest thing I'm

645
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: dealing with right now is that in late November, my

646
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 1: dad got diagnosed with cancer. He's my only living parent

647
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: and he lives on his own on the opposite coast

648
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 1: for me, so we haven't been together through the pandemic.

649
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 1: And then the other thing that I'm dealing with is

650
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: I kind of throughout the pandemic before I even knew

651
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 1: that my dad was sick, I was falling behind my

652
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 1: rent and that felt like a normal problem to have

653
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: during COVID times, I guess, But my I think maybe

654
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: since I emailed you, I've been kind of given a

655
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: letter from my landlord's attorney being like you maybe served

656
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 1: with something in twenty days or something like. That's some

657
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 1: scary letter. So I just feel like I have a

658
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 1: lot on my mind and it's hard to feel productive,

659
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 1: and it's hard to figure out whether I should just

660
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 1: say like fuck it and go like be with my

661
00:31:56,360 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 1: dad or I think, Ay, there's something called Panda Mac

662
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 1: of Love. My friend runs this organization and they help

663
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: with relief with money and they pair you up with

664
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 1: somebody who will help you financially. So how do we

665
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 1: get in touch with Shelley's organization? It's a mindful skate

666
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 1: girl is her Instagram handle, and you have to say

667
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 1: I sent you, and they'll pair you up with a

668
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 1: sponsor who will help you financially for you know, however

669
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 1: long you need to be helped. Okay, So there's one thing.

670
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 1: That's one thing you can do. You just have to

671
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 1: give them your situation and explain, you know, it's COVID relief,

672
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 1: it's helping for all the mind what sorry? Okay. So

673
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 1: the organization is called Pandemic of Love dot com and

674
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 1: her Instagram handle is Mindful Skater Girl. Mind Mindful Skater Girl. Okay, Yeah, definitely,

675
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 1: just say I sent you. Okay. They've helped millions of

676
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 1: people and they are continuing to help millions of people.

677
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 1: So that's one thing you can do. Wow, well, thank

678
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 1: you so much that I really appreciate that problem solved

679
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,959
Speaker 1: on that front. Now, as far as far as your

680
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: dad having cancer, so you're on you're in New York

681
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: or he's in New York. You're in New York. I'm

682
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 1: in New York. Yeah, and he's okay, So you want

683
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 1: to be with him, right, yeah, I mean hopefully it

684
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 1: would be safe to think about traveling again. Yeah, for sure.

685
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,479
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think you want to be with your

686
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:17,479
Speaker 1: dad during this time, you know. Yeah, so what are

687
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: your options are you? Do you have a job right now? Like,

688
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 1: how can you make that happen? Yeah, I'm yeah, I'm

689
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 1: pretty much back to the workflow that I had pre pandemic.

690
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,479
Speaker 1: It was just the first three months or so that

691
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 1: I kind of fell behind. And yeah, but I'm back

692
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 1: to making money. I just I don't know if I

693
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 1: can come up with, you know, whatever, the money that

694
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: they want me to come up with in the next

695
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 1: twenty days or something, well, and how have you. What

696
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 1: I've realized from a lot of people who are in

697
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: similar situations is that there is just not enough communication

698
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: between the landlord and the tenant or whoever is responsible

699
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 1: for obtaining the funds for your unit and just saying like,

700
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 1: this is where I'm at, this is what I can

701
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 1: afford right now, either to add additionally to what I

702
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: am current paying on my rent. I feel like communications

703
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 1: can be had because you both want the same resolution.

704
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 1: You don't want to have to leave. They just want

705
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,759
Speaker 1: their money. So have you have you gone through that

706
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 1: protocol of trying to figure out what that would look

707
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 1: like to get them additional funds? Yes, So it seems

708
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 1: like I can't say this for certain, But I requested

709
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 1: a repair to be made in my apartment and then

710
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 1: they like returned with this like letters saying like you

711
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: owe us frint kind of. So it just it feels

712
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 1: a little like, I mean, New York landlords are assholes,

713
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 1: Like yeah, Donald Trump is a New York landlord, so

714
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:50,320
Speaker 1: it's not your landlord. Laugh. Oh you need laugh more? Okay,

715
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: So that helps, Like in any situation, what are you

716
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 1: gonna So I'm just confused, like, so, can you go

717
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 1: visit your father? Could you work remotely? Yeah? I mean

718
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 1: I just feel so frozen and stuck and like it

719
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,399
Speaker 1: feels like a struggled I mean, I'm combingly not even

720
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 1: giving my best to my clients these days. I don't

721
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 1: even know. But what do you do for a living?

722
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: I'm a teacher? Okay, so you can do that remotely,

723
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 1: right yeah? Yeah? Yeah absolutely? Okay. So I think what

724
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: you need to do is you need to get hooked

725
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 1: up with pandemica blove. That's going to take care of

726
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: your own situation, Okay. And then I think you need

727
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 1: to make plans. How long would you want to come

728
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 1: out and see your dad for? Like, do you want

729
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,359
Speaker 1: to spend like a month here or do you want

730
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,440
Speaker 1: to spend like what's your game plan? Yeah, I mean

731
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 1: it's also it has to do with like my least

732
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 1: ends at the end of the summer. So I don't

733
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: even know what that it's gonna look like, you know,

734
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: depending on how this pans out with my landlord. That's it.

735
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:37,799
Speaker 1: The other thing is just it just all feels like

736
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 1: it's happening right now. And my dad just finished radiation.

737
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 1: He just is looking really rough and I want to

738
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: be with him. Yeah, I think you should make plans.

739
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: Get yourself a ticket for two weeks and go out

740
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 1: there for a set amount of time, whether it's a

741
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 1: week or a month. Like how much time do you

742
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 1: see yourself spending in Long Beach? Yeah, I could see

743
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 1: myself spending maybe two weeks there. I get a little

744
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 1: restless there, but okay, I've never been are under these circumstances, right, Okay,

745
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 1: So I think you should give give yourself two weeks

746
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 1: to come out here. Right, just deal with what this

747
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 1: situation right now. Don't worry about your least being up

748
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: at the end of the summer. You're going to get

749
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 1: this sorted out. With pandemic of love, I think That's

750
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 1: what I'm kind of sensing is just like I love

751
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 1: my mom to cancer young agents of this feels like

752
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 1: kind of a resurfacing of that trauma, and I feel like,

753
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I'll be super I'll have so

754
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 1: many regrets if I don't spend time with him and

755
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 1: God for good at least him. Yeah, it is retraumatizing.

756
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,279
Speaker 1: I know what you mean. It feels like an abandonment, right.

757
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 1: You know, you lose somebody you love and you feel abandoned,

758
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: and even though it's not their fault, that's what you're

759
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 1: left feeling. And so of course it's a trigger, you know.

760
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 1: I mean the word of the day or word of

761
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 1: the year with everybody using trigger, it's so annoying, but

762
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,640
Speaker 1: it's true. It is a trigger, right, It's a trigger

763
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,879
Speaker 1: for you, and you did lose your mom and I'm

764
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 1: sorry about that. All you can do is show up

765
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: for the people that you care about in your life

766
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,800
Speaker 1: and be there for him. You know that's what you

767
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 1: want to do. You love your dad, he loves you.

768
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:04,839
Speaker 1: All you can do is be with him and let

769
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 1: him know that he's loved by you right during this time,

770
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,399
Speaker 1: and you can support him in whatever way you can,

771
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 1: and that means get to him. And as soon as

772
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: you have that, I think when you have someone you know,

773
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,359
Speaker 1: when you're close to a family member, it all kind

774
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 1: of makes a lot more sense. All the stress in

775
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 1: your life seems to simmer down when you're in close

776
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 1: proximity to family members. Yeah, I don't know how, Yeah exactly,

777
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,800
Speaker 1: I don't know how much of like what I'm feeling

778
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: is just disconnection because I've been alone for the last

779
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 1: year and change, so I feel kind of in a

780
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 1: vacuum with my own feelings, and then things keep pil

781
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 1: I think once you get something in place, and a

782
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 1: lot of it you have to remember is not gonna

783
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 1: be solved overnight. So once you just get things in

784
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:49,439
Speaker 1: motion for kind of each of these stressors seeing your dad,

785
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 1: once you know that you either have like a bus

786
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 1: ticket booked or a plane ticket whatever that looks like,

787
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 1: and you have something on your calendar, like, Okay, I

788
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 1: can alleviate this stress with my dad. I know I'm

789
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 1: going to see him at this time. I know I've

790
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:01,879
Speaker 1: spoken to the landlord about this aspect. It makes all

791
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: those things feel a little less stressful because you know

792
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 1: things are in motion and it's it's when you're stagnant

793
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,439
Speaker 1: that you feel like, Okay, nothing's happening, nothing's happening. That's

794
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 1: when you become more stress that you're left with just

795
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 1: those feelings instead of an action. So just keep the

796
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,640
Speaker 1: momentum going, make a list today of the things you

797
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:19,839
Speaker 1: know you need to address, and then just make sure

798
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 1: every day you're looking at that and that something is happening,

799
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 1: that you've either made a phone call, you sent a

800
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 1: text message, you let him know like these are the dates,

801
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,400
Speaker 1: put it on your calendar, whatever that looks like. Because once,

802
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 1: once the wheels are turning, it's gonna put you back

803
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 1: in motion. You're gonna be able to give a little

804
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 1: bit more to your clients. You're gonna be able to

805
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 1: give a little bit more attention to your dad. You're

806
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:39,760
Speaker 1: gonna know, I'm going to be in a safe place

807
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: with my home at the end of the summer. You'll

808
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 1: have answers. It's the unknown that is so mentally, Yeah,

809
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 1: it's totally the uncertainty that is, you know, driving me

810
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 1: crazy and just not knowing whether he'll finde and going well,

811
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 1: whether all the place to live, etcetera, etcetera. At just

812
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: like feels like a lot. You can only control so much,

813
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 1: and what you can control is how you address each

814
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 1: of these situations. So once you take back that power

815
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 1: and know that I've made the decisions in these areas,

816
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: you're not going to feel as overwhelmed. M Yeah, you're

817
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,040
Speaker 1: just overwhelmed right now. I can see it on your face.

818
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 1: You're you're you're exhausted, and you're not alone everybody you know,

819
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,720
Speaker 1: so many people are just like fuck, what the fuck?

820
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:20,160
Speaker 1: And it's the lack of interaction with others also that's

821
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,879
Speaker 1: taking its toll on every day. So without that, you're

822
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,240
Speaker 1: only alone with your own thoughts and you're only sitting

823
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 1: there thinking, oh yeah. And there's so much inertia right

824
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 1: now and so much in action that it does feel overwhelming.

825
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 1: But you're gonna be okay. You're going to be okay.

826
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 1: You're breathing, You're gonna be fine. You've made it through

827
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 1: the last year, like you've You've come out on the

828
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 1: other side of that, so you're you're in control and

829
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 1: it's going to keep getting better. Yeah, and your dad, listen,

830
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:48,359
Speaker 1: you know, whatever happens with your dad, you're also going

831
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,479
Speaker 1: to be okay. Yeah, you know that like, you're going

832
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: to be okay. It's very difficult to deal with losing

833
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 1: a parent, and it's I can't even imagine what it's

834
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 1: like to lose two parents. Actually both my parents are dead,

835
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 1: so I can. It is overwhelming. But all you can

836
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 1: do is show up and be loving, like that's all

837
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:05,959
Speaker 1: you can do. Is that's your gift to your dad,

838
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: you know, is to be there with him and do

839
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,760
Speaker 1: what you can. You're you know, I understand how difficult

840
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: it is. But even if your father, you know, has

841
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: a really difficult time, even if he passes away, you

842
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 1: are going to be okay. Yeah that's true. Yeah, now

843
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 1: you're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're going through this

844
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 1: right now. I feel fair. You're You're strong though, and

845
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 1: that's what you remember you have. You have that strength

846
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,960
Speaker 1: within you, and you certainly got that from somewhere, and

847
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: I'm assuming it's your two parents. And my grandfather used

848
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 1: to say, don't borrow trouble, and I try and remember

849
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 1: that that these things that you're worried about, like especially

850
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:44,239
Speaker 1: with your dad, because that is something totally out of

851
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:47,759
Speaker 1: your control in all aspects, and so just being there

852
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 1: for him and accepting his current state, but knowing that

853
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: you're going to operate in a way that whatever happens,

854
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: you've done the best that you can for yourself and

855
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 1: for him, it's going to give you a peace of mind. Yeah,

856
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:03,000
Speaker 1: you're that's absolutely true. Yeah, I just it's weird when

857
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 1: you feel like something happen when you're so young that

858
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,759
Speaker 1: you feel like, of course, like that's a kind of

859
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 1: pain that I can conquer and get over and get through,

860
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,440
Speaker 1: and then something you get a phone call that you

861
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 1: know somebody's cancer, and then all of a sudden, your

862
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,399
Speaker 1: world comes crashing down. Yeah, but you don't, you don't.

863
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,720
Speaker 1: You don't really know the power of your own strength.

864
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,280
Speaker 1: And being by your father's side is going to remind

865
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 1: you of how strong you are, because you're going to

866
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 1: be strong for him, and you're gonna be able to

867
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 1: tap into that reservoir of strength that you have. You

868
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 1: are it's just right now, it feels like a fucking

869
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 1: ship store. But I think you're gonna feel better as

870
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 1: soon as even I think you're feeling better, you know

871
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:41,919
Speaker 1: what I mean. You're letting it out. And you should

872
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 1: also look up, look online and find an online counselor

873
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 1: or someone you can talk to. I have therapist, you

874
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 1: seeing me for free right now? Really generously. Oh that's great, awesome,

875
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: look at that. Yeah, I mean that's awesome. So I

876
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 1: mean you can go through all of this stuff. You know,

877
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 1: these are life things that we all have to deal with.

878
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 1: Everybody has to deal with apparent dying at some point.

879
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,359
Speaker 1: And the fact that you already went through it, I know,

880
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:05,800
Speaker 1: Like how I know what you mean. I know exactly

881
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:07,719
Speaker 1: what you're talking about. You know. I remember when my

882
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 1: dad died. I was so unemotional about it, non emotionally

883
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,799
Speaker 1: disconnected because I was like, well, this is just another death.

884
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: My brother died, my mother died, Like we know how

885
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 1: to do this. Death is the one thing I know

886
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 1: how to do. I can handle this. I can handle that.

887
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 1: And I remember saying like, am I going to have

888
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: delayed grief to my psychiatrist because my whole therapy journey

889
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 1: was about delayed grief from my brother dying. I'm like, oh, funk,

890
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 1: am I gonna have delayed grief again? And he's like no,

891
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,280
Speaker 1: But and I go, why aren't I having a reaction

892
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 1: to this? And he's like, I think you've been grieving

893
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: for so long like this this delayed grief that's been

894
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 1: living inside of you, that you've been dealing with for

895
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: so long that you're a little bit out of grief.

896
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I'm like that's interesting, and

897
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, sometimes that happens, he goes it might

898
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 1: hit you later, like you know, you're reacting to the diagnosis, right,

899
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 1: You're reacting to your father's cancer diagnosis, which is a

900
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: completely normal reaction, and just kind of the way he

901
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 1: looks after treatment. It's not such a pretty Yeah, he

902
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 1: doesn't really look like my dad anymore, to be honest,

903
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 1: it's jarn, but he is your dad. The aesthetics come

904
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 1: and go for all of us, so right, whether it's

905
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,719
Speaker 1: old age or an illness, and I think you being

906
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 1: there with him and feeling his presence it gives you

907
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 1: that security like, oh, this is my dad. What I'm

908
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 1: seeing is an element of what he's going through. And again,

909
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 1: you'll feel much better being at his side and knowing

910
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:33,359
Speaker 1: that that's his physical state. But that's it. Yeah, thank

911
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 1: you guys. I appreciate that. All right, Alex, thank you, Alex.

912
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,759
Speaker 1: All Right, I think it's gonna be okay. You're gonna

913
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: be okay, Okay, yeah, of course, thank you so much.

914
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:48,319
Speaker 1: By and again and these are serious fucking oh my god,

915
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 1: my tits are out again. This is why I know.

916
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I don't even bring it up anymore at

917
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:56,760
Speaker 1: this point. This is people are dealing with real things. See,

918
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:58,560
Speaker 1: this is why that's out because I have that, but

919
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 1: this braw should not be exposed like that. I'm sorry.

920
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 1: I can't close it at it, I know, I know, Okay. Anyway,

921
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 1: I mean, people are some that was heavy. There's some

922
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 1: heavy ship going on. But again, it's important to hear

923
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: these things. People to listen because when you're at the

924
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: grocery store and you're mad that your checkout is taking

925
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:17,839
Speaker 1: too long, I'm not saying this to you, even though

926
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 1: this is you. If that's the worst thing you have

927
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 1: to deal with today, is your grocery line check out

928
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 1: taking too long. Think about Alex and his dad, like,

929
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 1: take into account what other people are dealing with. I

930
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: know it doesn't always change our irritation, but it should

931
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 1: be something that we take into consideration. So it's time

932
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 1: alone with your own thoughts is overwhelming, and I'm glad

933
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 1: he's seeing a therapist though. That's that's really good. That

934
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,760
Speaker 1: will help in prioritizing anything. Just to make you feel

935
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:47,360
Speaker 1: like something is happening in your life is also going

936
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 1: to be helpful. Harlo, I wonder how this one's gonna be.

937
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,799
Speaker 1: I hope it's light. We have Carlos c We don't

938
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 1: know wherees from, how old he is, or what he does,

939
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 1: but he says, Hi, Chelsea, I've been working from home

940
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 1: for close to a year. I got my first vaccine.

941
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:05,279
Speaker 1: I've been timid in regards to going inside public restaurants

942
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,840
Speaker 1: and movies, which is part of dating. I'm very picky.

943
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 1: I do not currently have an interest. Plus I lean

944
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,880
Speaker 1: on friendships prior to romance. My question is are you

945
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 1: dating and what have you been comfortable doing in regards

946
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 1: to dating. I'm assuming that means during the pandemic. I'm

947
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 1: up for taking hikes and walks, but that's about it. Carlos,

948
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,879
Speaker 1: that sounds like a question for me. I mean, well,

949
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 1: maybe wants to date you? Okay, Well is he on

950
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:34,279
Speaker 1: the phone? Well this is just a smission, so you're

951
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 1: just giving blind device here. We already talked about that

952
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 1: dating during the pandemic with the COVID test. But what

953
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,399
Speaker 1: should what should he be doing? Like? What should people

954
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: be doing who want to start dating again after the pandemic.

955
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 1: But it's a little bit overwhelming with like what available

956
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 1: options there are to date. So here's what you're gonna do.

957
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 1: You're gonna call Q Health and you're gonna get the

958
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:57,359
Speaker 1: COVID machine installed at your house. Five grand. You can't

959
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 1: do that. You can't offer that up people, all right, No,

960
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:02,240
Speaker 1: it was five grand for you because we had an

961
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,320
Speaker 1: unreasonable number of tests because I wanted to test everybody.

962
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 1: Yes you did. I think outdoor activities are great. I

963
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:09,399
Speaker 1: mean you don't like a hike, but no I don't.

964
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 1: But yeah, outdoor activities are great. And now if you're

965
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 1: double backs, then you can just use that as your

966
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 1: requirement to meet anyone else. But wouldn't you just say

967
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 1: good to go on dating sites though, Like, well I

968
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:23,320
Speaker 1: think that Okay, let me reread this. Maybe I wasn't listening.

969
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 1: I've been working from home for close to a year.

970
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:29,280
Speaker 1: I got my first vaccine. I've been timid in regards

971
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 1: to going inside public restaurants in movies, which is part

972
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 1: of dating. I am very picky. I do not currently

973
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,759
Speaker 1: have an interest. Plus I lean on friendships prior to

974
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 1: romance he doesn't have an interest. I'm assuming that means

975
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,760
Speaker 1: like an interest, we have an interest in a person.

976
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,320
Speaker 1: Is he talking about a pinterest account? It could be.

977
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 1: My question is are you dating? And what have you

978
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 1: been comfortable doing in regards to dating. I well, okay,

979
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 1: I'll answer that I do casually dates people, but I

980
00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 1: mean not no, oh, I would just oh my god. Okay, sweetheart,

981
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:07,360
Speaker 1: this is not that complicated. If someone was going to

982
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 1: ask you on a date, what is a viable option

983
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:13,720
Speaker 1: for that date? Activity? Finding a restaurant, yes, like every

984
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 1: restaurant has a second patio. Now. But he's saying he

985
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 1: has no interest. He has no one of interest. That's

986
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,000
Speaker 1: what I don't know. So we're gonna let's cover both topics.

987
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,280
Speaker 1: If you don't have anyone of interest, that's okay. Embrace

988
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 1: being alone, Carlo ci Yeah, if you know, if you

989
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 1: don't have anyone, you don't have anyone. I thought he

990
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 1: said he has no interests. I see, I'm framed that

991
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:37,880
Speaker 1: as he doesn't have interesting You're not interested in people

992
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:41,839
Speaker 1: or activities, so you're alone. We see, we know this,

993
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,239
Speaker 1: We accepted it. I have no hobbies and I don't

994
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 1: like people. You know what you can do in COVID.

995
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 1: You can also if you're worried about because a lot

996
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:51,239
Speaker 1: of people are just having sex right with masks on.

997
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 1: Have you done that? Is that you have to get

998
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,839
Speaker 1: it from behind, just a lot of penetration through the sheet. No,

999
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 1: I have not done that. What I do is make

1000
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,279
Speaker 1: sure that I know who I'm dealing with and that

1001
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,120
Speaker 1: they're vaccinated. You know what I mean. Moving forward, I

1002
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 1: won't be hooking up with anyone that's not vaccinated. Probably

1003
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,920
Speaker 1: that would be my move. But you can have sex

1004
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 1: with your oh my god, you can have sex with

1005
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:24,800
Speaker 1: your mask on, but in my head, it's a Halloween mask,

1006
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 1: like you're both in costume. You can have sex with

1007
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 1: the mask on, but you have to do it from

1008
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: behind and you cannot get closer. You can't. Well it

1009
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 1: is it a mask and face shield or is it

1010
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 1: just a mask? You can dose? Girl? Well? Yeah? Or

1011
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:46,000
Speaker 1: but yeah, so you can't. If you don't, what is

1012
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 1: my Your advice is basically doggie style. That's how to

1013
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:54,640
Speaker 1: date during COVID Doggie style. Okay, this is how I

1014
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 1: did it. Now this isn't reasonable for everybody, because I

1015
00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 1: did get a testing kit at my house. The Q

1016
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:01,880
Speaker 1: health testing kit. But it was like five thousand dollars,

1017
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:07,120
Speaker 1: wasn't it. Well, the testing equipment is eight hundred, just

1018
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 1: be very honest with the pricing is eight hundred, and

1019
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 1: then each test is two d and fifteen dollars. But

1020
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:15,319
Speaker 1: we had an excessive number of tests because you were

1021
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 1: testing everyone and you are not technologically inclined, so a

1022
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:21,839
Speaker 1: lot of them had to be retested. Yeah, I sucked

1023
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 1: up that. So I would basically have guys come over

1024
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,239
Speaker 1: to my house and I would like that I met

1025
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 1: on I'm on a dating app, and I would have

1026
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,760
Speaker 1: them come over and I would hang out with them,

1027
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 1: and I would give them a test. Immediately. We'd be

1028
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: sitting outside and I'd give them a test, and then

1029
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:39,600
Speaker 1: I would wait twenty minutes, and after talking to them,

1030
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:41,919
Speaker 1: if I decided like, oh yeah, I'm into this guy,

1031
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 1: take twenty minutes to get the results, then I would

1032
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 1: just you know, if I liked him, I'd be like, okay,

1033
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 1: you know, if he was negative, he was negative. But

1034
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: if I didn't like him, I would just tell them

1035
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:53,480
Speaker 1: they were positive and that they had to leave. Yeah,

1036
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 1: so that's one way to do it, But I don't

1037
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,360
Speaker 1: know if you want to buy the testing kid, or

1038
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 1: what your financial situation is the other thing that I

1039
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 1: would suggest. I mean that how I've handled it, because yes,

1040
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 1: in the beginning of the panic, I'm like, yeah, who's

1041
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:05,359
Speaker 1: going to hook up again? No one's ever gonna Anyone

1042
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 1: who's single isn't gonna hook up. I mean, imagine all

1043
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,239
Speaker 1: the people who were having affairs during the pandecic to

1044
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 1: stop seeing their affair. But after three or four months,

1045
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:14,399
Speaker 1: I was like, well, fuck, am I gonna have sex again?

1046
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to. This could go on forever. So

1047
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 1: then I was I had to start thinking about what

1048
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 1: I was going to do. And then also, you know,

1049
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 1: you could just be I have no advice for this.

1050
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 1: I mean, there's an accountability and there's accessibility to rapid

1051
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 1: response tests now basically everywhere that the vaccines are in

1052
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 1: place and there's no lines. It's quick. So if you

1053
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:37,359
Speaker 1: find someone that you are interested in, you just both

1054
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:40,799
Speaker 1: get tested before day find some more a nice outdoor patio. Like,

1055
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 1: let's not make this more complicated than it needs to be.

1056
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 1: Very straightforward. This is straightforward, right, So problem solved again. Okay, um,

1057
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:51,640
Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick break. I'm gonna take a

1058
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 1: quick shower, and we will be right back. Thank you

1059
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:59,359
Speaker 1: so well. To wrap things up for the day, our

1060
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 1: caller from Salt Lake City, Jeremy was his name, who's

1061
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 1: having trouble being pan sexual. I guess it's interesting because

1062
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 1: it's waited. It's it's an interesting thing to look at

1063
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 1: that because that's not my reality. So it's an interesting

1064
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:16,440
Speaker 1: to know how how common that is to that perspective,

1065
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:18,719
Speaker 1: you know. So hopefully we'll have more people like that

1066
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 1: calling in and always, I think everybody should know by

1067
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 1: now that my opinion is always going to be to

1068
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 1: take your education and career over babies. That will always

1069
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 1: be my advice. That's how I feel. And I feel

1070
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 1: like more people need to have less children. And on

1071
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:37,560
Speaker 1: that note, I think I don't know what do you

1072
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:41,719
Speaker 1: think this was? This was heavy lift today with the

1073
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 1: advice it was, it was hard today. I'm not my

1074
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:46,799
Speaker 1: thoughts are not clear. I have no clarity. I've no

1075
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:50,320
Speaker 1: mental clarity. You were You were basically robbed too, I

1076
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:54,320
Speaker 1: mean I was robbed of my memory yesterday. Sorry, sweetheart,

1077
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,480
Speaker 1: But we can make fun of your robber. I bet

1078
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 1: you he did not remember that he robbed you, that

1079
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:02,320
Speaker 1: he did who knows. We need to give him some advice.

1080
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 1: I'd like to get him on the podcast. I'd like

1081
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 1: to get him in jail first and then on the podcast.

1082
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:09,360
Speaker 1: You I wouldn't mind having him call into the podcast.

1083
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 1: Maybe when next time you chase him down the street,

1084
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 1: you can ask him. My grandmother just called her. I

1085
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: saw her name pop up on my phone. We'll have

1086
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:18,480
Speaker 1: to call her on the car on the way. It's

1087
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 1: a little troubling. She doesn't call often, and when she does,

1088
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 1: she's got something to say. Oh I see I hear you.

1089
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:26,040
Speaker 1: Copy that over and out, well, well over and out

1090
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:27,960
Speaker 1: for us. It's a wrap on this episode. Oh it

1091
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 1: is okay, okay, but let's let's remember the only thing

1092
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 1: I want to take away is that you're going to

1093
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 1: make a move on a man in person, start a conversation.

1094
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 1: All right, Well, I'm going to Hotel bell there later.

1095
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 1: See if there's any men around that. I don't know.

1096
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 1: This is gonna be t M. I but what's the

1097
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 1: youngest you've had sex with? M I'm not really empty

1098
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 1: younger guys. Oh that guy from yeah, yeah, that guy

1099
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:58,920
Speaker 1: who robbed me. Actually, so this guy I was dating

1100
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: this guy I wasn't dating this guy. I was. I

1101
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:05,880
Speaker 1: was casually interacting with him and we were skiing together,

1102
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 1: and then he tried to use my credit card in

1103
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:12,799
Speaker 1: a store to buy jewelry for himself and pretended he

1104
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 1: was buying jewelry for me, but with my own credit card.

1105
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:18,960
Speaker 1: And even after that, I felt so bad for him

1106
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 1: that he had to steal from me. Like a normal

1107
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:24,400
Speaker 1: person would have been like, get out, get out, But

1108
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:26,520
Speaker 1: I have no boundaries, and I was like, why are

1109
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 1: you stealing? Like why do you need to do that?

1110
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,440
Speaker 1: That's terrible kind of like, and I think I had

1111
00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:35,120
Speaker 1: sex with him again after he still he still I did?

1112
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 1: I did, Oh my god, I did. That was a

1113
00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:41,360
Speaker 1: very confusing time away for all of us, as a

1114
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 1: matter of fact, I mean none of us understood what

1115
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:45,920
Speaker 1: was going on. Oh yeah, that was That was right

1116
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:49,040
Speaker 1: after the election. Remember when I was in a bad place.

1117
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 1: That's exactly what happened. Yep, I was in a bad

1118
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 1: place and uh, not going to do that again. And

1119
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:58,760
Speaker 1: definitely so we've both been robbed, sweetheart, we have different

1120
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 1: different times. Well, now we know what this episode was about.

1121
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 1: Don't rob your neighbor or the girl that you're fucking bye. Also,

1122
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:09,760
Speaker 1: I am on tour. My tickets are officially on sale.

1123
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 1: We've added a couple of extra shows. We're going to

1124
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 1: be announcing dates as we go. You can buy tickets

1125
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,160
Speaker 1: a ticket Master for my shows. I'll be playing my

1126
00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:22,400
Speaker 1: next big show. I'm at the Santa Barbara Bowl August one,

1127
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 1: so you can come see me there. And then I

1128
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 1: have all the other cities that I have already released

1129
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 1: and tickets are available and I can't fucking wait. It's

1130
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:34,360
Speaker 1: called vaccinated and a horny, So make sure that you

1131
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:38,359
Speaker 1: bring your vaccinations and your horny nows and then keep

1132
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:42,359
Speaker 1: them to yourself. Please, If you want any assistance with

1133
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:46,799
Speaker 1: your partner, your best friend, really, anything, you can write

1134
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:50,120
Speaker 1: into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea

1135
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 1: Project at gmail dot com