WEBVTT - "Lewis Howes Part 2: What’s Your Money Story?" 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:07.400 He was up on about the Dramady Rodriguez. 0:00:07.520 --> 0:00:21.160 This is those amigos, and honestly so and the last 0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:23.439 part we you know, we had just started talking about 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:27.320 your book, and I am grateful that you wrote this 0:00:27.360 --> 0:00:31.200 one because there is so much about making money that 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:35.400 is daunting, that is scary, that is a hard conversation 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:37.440 to have with oneself. There's a lot of fear that 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:39.839 comes with that. It's attached to a lot of wounds 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:43.360 that we have. So make money easy, create financial freedom, 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:48.519 and live a richer life again available everywhere that you 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.800 read or listen to your books. I kind of already 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:53.840 know what this book is about. I love that you 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:56.920 chose screen, I love the title. Can you tell us 0:00:56.920 --> 0:00:59.120 a little bit about the inspiration of this book, and 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:01.120 like you know how you drive it to be this. 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:05.920 Because money robs people of their joy. Money if you 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:09.960 have a wounded relationship with it, robs people of relationship, 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:14.640 rich relationships, a rich life, and their joy. And a 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:20.959 lot of us chase money to feel safe, but so 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:23.560 often we still don't feel safe with the money we have, 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:25.959 or we feel like it's still not enough. And when 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:31.039 I made my first million dollars, I remember being more 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:35.320 upset and angry than ever because I still didn't love 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:37.520 and accept myself, and I thought the money was going 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:39.640 to make me feel something different. I thought, like I 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:42.720 hit that number, I don't know something's going to unlock 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:45.200 for me, and it didn't. I just knew how to 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:47.840 make money, but I didn't know how to create a 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:51.720 sense of peace within me. So money didn't give me peace. 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:56.520 It didn't give me a sense of inner freedom. Momentarily, 0:01:56.560 --> 0:02:00.160 it gave me options to solve certain things, but it 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:03.840 almost created a bigger wound for me because when I 0:02:03.880 --> 0:02:06.040 was broke, living on my sister's couch for a year 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:08.760 and a half in Columbus, Ohio when I was twenty four, 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:11.960 no one was reaching out for me to ask for 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:14.560 money or anything because I didn't have anything to offer. 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:18.200 Wilmer gets asked every day by someone for Hey, can 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:19.800 you connect me to this person? Can you give me 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:21.440 a loan? Can you give me money for this? Can 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:24.560 you fund my project? He's had that for twenty five 0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:28.000 years since he's been you know, rich and handsome and successful. Right. Yeah. 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:31.360 The handsome point is the more handsome you are, the 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:32.080 more they want from me. 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:35.440 But when I when I started making money. Kids from 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:38.040 high school college started coming out and saying, Hey, can 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:39.320 I get some money or can you work in this 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:42.440 project with me? And I was like, this doesn't feel good. 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:45.040 You're not my friend, Like you didn't talk to me 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:46.960 for eight years, and now you see I have money. 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.000 You're asking for something from me because I have this 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:51.600 thing that doesn't feel good. So it's almost like the 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:53.359 wound expanded inside of me. 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:56.440 And it exposed the other stuff you hated about. Society 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:57.000 didn't like it. 0:02:57.040 --> 0:02:58.320 And I was like, oh, man, I feel like I'm 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:02.200 getting taken advantage of and a whole new way and 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:08.519 not valued for other things. And so most people. I've 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:12.160 done a lot of interviews with billionaires, people have sold 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:17.120 huge companies wealth experts over the last twelve years for 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:20.600 my own learning, and a lot of people wanted this 0:03:20.680 --> 0:03:25.360 information because so many divorces end out of money arguments, 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:30.560 so many problems in relationships and because of money frustration. Again, 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:33.720 people are not in alignment around money when they're in 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:37.920 relationship with each other, and that causes friction, that causes 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:43.160 just a feeling of stress and pain and tension and 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:45.560 all these things in our nervous system. Because we don't 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:48.880 communicate about money. And each of one of us has 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:52.839 a money story and a money personality style. And when 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:55.960 you're in relationship with a friend, they have a different 0:03:56.000 --> 0:04:00.960 money story and personality style. Your parents, different one, your spouses, 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:05.400 your kids, everyone has a different money story and money 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:09.120 personality style how they choose to interpret. And I'll just 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:12.200 ask you guys this question, and I would love to 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:16.480 hear both of your responses. Imagine for a moment, money 0:04:16.720 --> 0:04:20.640 is in the form of a person. Money, the idea 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:23.240 of money, all the things mixed up around money is 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:26.560 in a person's body, and that person walks to the 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:30.480 door and sits down right there. What is your initial 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:35.160 reaction or response to that idea of money if they 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:38.400 sat right in front of you right now, what would 0:04:38.440 --> 0:04:40.720 you initially? And I want true honesty here, and I'm 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:43.520 gonna share some different examples. Yeah, yeah, money walks in 0:04:43.560 --> 0:04:47.000 the door, it sits down. How do you think, how 0:04:47.040 --> 0:04:50.880 do you feel? What do you say? What do you 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:51.400 not say? 0:04:51.560 --> 0:04:51.880 I mean? 0:04:52.279 --> 0:04:55.160 And this is like my younger self speaking because immediately 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:58.440 went there, like how do I validate myself to earn 0:04:58.480 --> 0:04:59.560 a conversation with them? 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:02.520 The interest thing that's interesting, like how. 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:08.120 Do I show enough colorspecass, you know, to feel like 0:05:08.200 --> 0:05:10.800 I can speak that language, like can speak whatever that 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:16.840 language is. And not because not because I needed right, 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:18.960 not because I need the money, not because I want 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:21.120 the money, but because. 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:23.160 I have this. 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:26.840 YEARN this, this YEARN in this this this, I want 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:29.160 to be accepted for understanding it. 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:34.159 Interesting. Wow, what about what's the first response? My first 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:35.039 initial response? 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:38.760 I think with me, I had I had children at 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:40.760 a really early age, and I was married at an 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:44.480 early age, and so I had the sole responsibility of 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:48.240 being my family's provider. And so my relationship pressure a 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:52.880 lot of weight, tons tons, and so my relationship with 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:56.280 money has always been try to be the best at 0:05:56.360 --> 0:06:02.360 what you do, because your famili's existence depends on and 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:06.400 am and so I would. I came into town, and 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:10.839 I tried to fricking kill every audition, every job I 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:15.559 ever did. I approached it with such fervor and such 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:21.840 focus and intensity because my family's existence depended on it. 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:27.919 Interesting. Yeah, And that energy showed up in almost probably 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:32.799 every moment and every interaction unconsciously with people. Maybe you met, 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:35.640 you're trying to get introductions. Maybe it wasn't even thinking, 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:37.560 how can I gain something from this, but you're like, 0:06:37.920 --> 0:06:40.720 I need to deliver at all times. Yes, my family 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:43.800 depends on it. And probably both your parents had the 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:48.480 same mindset as immigrants, like we got to survive, you know, 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:51.920 and the weight of like month by month bills. We 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:54.520 six months bill, we don't have that. We got to 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:57.840 figure out next month right now. And I can't take 0:06:57.880 --> 0:06:59.200 a sick day and I can't do you know. 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:02.120 It's like, it's so crazy you're saying that, because here's 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:08.280 the thing. I it's gonna sound really crazy, but this 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.960 is kind of a version of like letting go of perception, 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:13.800 letting go of expectations. 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:17.679 Right the moment that I stopped looking at my bank. 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:23.320 Account, the more I never worried about the life staying on. 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:25.560 I just knew I had to get up in the morning, 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:30.600 I had to show up right. But the moment I 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:32.720 took the pressure of knowing how much I had in 0:07:32.720 --> 0:07:37.840 the bank, all of a sudden, refrigerator have food. It 0:07:37.880 --> 0:07:40.040 isn't that crazy to think about the simplicity and the 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:43.080 power you can take away from from the perception of 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:45.880 how much you have, which also dictates what the status, 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:48.080 what you can afford, what you want in life or whatever, 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:51.960 like once I divorced that once I kind of got 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:53.880 rid of the how much money do I have in 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:54.200 the bank? 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:55.400 Like how much do I have left? 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:57.400 By the way, how much do I have left in 0:07:57.440 --> 0:07:59.280 the bank, Because it's two things. 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:01.120 How much money I have and how much much money 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:01.679 I have left. 0:08:02.200 --> 0:08:05.120 It's two different perspectives, right, how many how much money 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:07.320 you have left? It's like I'm gonna be running out, 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:10.400 so there's a there's an an urgency to do other 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:14.640 things that are not within what you're gonna be because 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:16.760 you got to put more in it. And the other 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:20.040 one is how much for me not knowing how much 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:24.480 money I had in the bank give me this freedom 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:26.160 that I never had to worry about the number. But 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:28.440 I'm telling you it's really hard to say because you're 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:30.720 you know you people are building their budgets and they're 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:32.439 building how much do I have for rent? How much 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:35.679 I But the moment I let go and trust me, 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:38.480 I came from a very humble start with my family. 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:40.160 You know my story. You know my story and all 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:43.640 you guys have heard the story. But the moment I 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:49.360 just kept looking ahead of me, the less worry I 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:51.200 had about refrigerator and rent. 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:52.800 So was it a sense of faith? 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:56.280 Maybe like faith, but also like trusts. 0:08:56.400 --> 0:09:00.120 The word you said is once I created freedom and 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:03.160 I stopped worrying about it. And that is the whole thing. 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:08.480 Most people don't feel free around their relationship to money. 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:11.320 And if you don't feel free, you are trapped or 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:14.280 you're a prisoner to it, or you're scarce, your energy 0:09:14.360 --> 0:09:18.760 is clenched, or I was fervolously like going after it, 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:22.400 whatever it is. It's like I was chasing it, you know. 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.120 I was like running away from something, chasing it. Like 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:27.640 I had that same energy. And you can create a 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:42.000 lot of financial success but not have financial freedom. Four 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:45.079 years ago, I was living in a building in Century 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:48.640 City and during the pandemic, and I went off for 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:51.640 a road trip one weekend. I came back and it 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:55.160 was probably the most expensive building in LA like apartment building. 0:09:56.240 --> 0:10:00.360 And you know, Matthew Perry was in there, like Jim. 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:01.920 I saw Jim carry out a place in there. At 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:04.079 one point. It's like, yeah, I haven't even start, you know, 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:07.800 talking about it. And it was a every day is 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:11.240 freaking masera, the most expensive cars in the valet and 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:14.800 just wealth. The building just smelled of wealth, right. You 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:16.640 didn't know where the money came from sometimes, but it 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:18.959 was a lot of money in there and celebrity all 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:22.720 that stuff. And I drove back from this road trip 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:26.200 one day and in the valet as as I'm pulling up, 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:32.080 there's a white tent out front in the parking garage 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:34.679 like out front, and I go, I said at the 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:38.319 valet attendant, I go, someone didn't jump. Did they making 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:41.959 a joke? Someone did jump? And he said, yeah, they did, 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:44.920 And I thought he was joking. I was like, wait 0:10:44.960 --> 0:10:48.959 what I just so, I was just like, wait a minute. 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:50.960 What this building. I've lived in this building. I've seen 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:54.200 these people. People seem fine, and they have tons of money. 0:10:55.000 --> 0:10:57.240 And as I went down the rabbit hole and researched it, 0:10:57.760 --> 0:10:59.480 the guy who jumped was worth like a half a 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:04.920 billion dollar. And you know, I'm not here to understand 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:06.839 his whole life story or whatever, but he was very 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:10.160 well known. He was in the industry, executive proved to 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:12.360 a lot of movies. And it was the day after 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:14.400 Father's Day. And the more I read about it, he 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:17.240 was a strange from his teenage son. He didn't have 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:21.520 good relationships. He was doing like I later found out 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:23.600 he was doing drugs and alcohol and all these different things. 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:26.400 I'd seen the guy a couple of times. He looked normal, 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:30.120 he looked fine and happy, but inside the money didn't 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:33.240 make him happy. It wasn't you know. There was no 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:35.240 amount of money. It sounded like a half a billion 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:38.600 dollars didn't make him want to save his own life. 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:42.440 So he had financial success, but he did not have freedom. 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:46.600 And the freedom comes from healing. Yeah, if you're out 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:53.000 of alignment, there is a deep pain inside of you, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, relationally. 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:56.320 If you're out of alignment, that means there's a wound somewhere. 0:11:57.000 --> 0:12:00.120 And if you're out of alignment, you're scarce around money. 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:03.360 You're chasing it, You're needing, You're looking to see how 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:06.400 much you have left? Uh? Do I have it? Can 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:08.680 I speak about it confidently in front of someone? Or 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:12.800 will I be judged? You're in a disalignment with yourself 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.640 around money? Can I speak about it at all with people? 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:18.040 Am I afraid to talk about it? Can I pay 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:21.160 for people? Or do I feel like they're gonna take 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:24.000 advantage of me? How is my relationship? Am I the 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:26.600 one who always pays. I'm assuming Wilma always pays and 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:29.520 picks off the tab, right because because he has a 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:33.600 folk but he has but he has abundance, he has success, 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:36.320 so and he's probably like he's a very generous guy. 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:39.280 It doesn't mean it's something wrong with that. But I 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:41.719 always pay too, and it's hard for me to let 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:44.920 people pay for me. So it's hard for me. But 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:49.480 we're blocking the flow of abundance. We're blocking the flow 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.559 of generosity from another if we don't allow people to 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:55.440 give us gifts or pay for us even once in 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:59.319 a while. And if you want freedom in your life, 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:05.760 gratitude and generosity is the gateway to abundance. And so 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.320 if we're always being grateful and generous, but we're not 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:11.360 allowing others to also appreciate us or say, hey, I 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:13.400 really acknowledge you one, I really acknowledge you for ready 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:16.200 for what you guys have created yours. And if we 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:19.040 just say, oh no, it is nothing even our energy 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:22.040 of like uh, don't worry about it, like really say 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:25.679 thank you, and just allow the flow of generosity of 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:29.320 gratitude to not just be one sided. You giving all 0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:31.439 the time we're giving, We're gonna we're gonna pay, we're 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.400 gonna take care, we're gonna be responsible, we're gonna be providers. 0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:37.280 Guilty of that, so guilty. And it doesn't mean that 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:38.640 went broke twice. 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:41.160 Just giving given, And it doesn't mean we have to 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:46.280 be you know, someone has to match our generosity. Doesn't 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:48.360 mean because I'm gonna give, I'm gonna pay for a year, 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.040 you have to pay for a year back. It's like, 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:53.800 but allowing someone to give gratitude and generosity is the 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:54.640 gayway to abundance. 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:57.280 Yea, But you're you're like that to the next stent. 0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:01.080 Warm are so and you know them right very You're 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:04.640 so generous, but not only with like I'm not talking 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:06.000 about money. 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:09.720 Sexy, You're you're. 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:11.880 So generous with your sexy. 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:15.800 Uh No, you're like about so much sex if you're 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:20.000 you're you're so giving and generous with with everything. And 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:23.800 I'm not talking about financial. Yeah, of course your heart. 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:30.040 You're so your your everything. Uh And I noticed that 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:35.440 sometimes when it's reciprocated, sometimes you you you sort of yeah, 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:36.800 you don't receive. 0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:40.200 It in the way that you have earned it, Yeah, 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:43.440 the way that you deserve it. And I noticed because 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:44.360 I'm the same way. 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:47.560 So I'm like, oh, why do you think that is 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:49.240 for both of you? Why do you think you block 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:51.440 the love or the generous? 0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:53.640 I think that we I mean we both I can 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:58.440 say that we both come from not a very privileged platform. 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:04.320 We weren't given we weren't set up to like win, right. 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:09.640 We were entering a world that everybody calls it lucky 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:12.760 if you make it right, There's nothing lucky about what 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:13.040 we do. 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:15.760 There's nothing lucky about you know. We talked about it 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:16.120 in your show. 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:17.680 If I remember back in the day, we're talking about 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:20.720 the word luck. Luck to me is like an excuse 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:24.360 for the lazy. Right the moment you say you're lucky, 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:27.160 I mean you just open the loss of possibilities that 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:28.480 it could also go the other way. 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:30.760 If you're lucky, I could be unlucky. 0:15:30.880 --> 0:15:33.280 Yeah, I could also be unlucky or like I'm lucky 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:35.560 and I didn't earn it right, So I'm like, Noah, No, 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:38.760 I mean, I'm so. I think the point is that 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:42.200 I'm trying to make is that when I was given 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:47.080 so much by you know, God, opportunity, the road map, 0:15:47.160 --> 0:15:52.240 the road that I traveled, and I've been on every 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:55.400 face of all my friends and family and everybody in 0:15:55.400 --> 0:15:55.680 my life. 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:56.560 I've been in every. 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.240 Pace that they were and now being at this place 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:01.320 where I can prove and I can share it and 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:01.880 I can. 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:05.040 You know, I can create environments for people to enjoy. 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:08.920 I feel like it's me having to give it back 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:12.640 and it's and you know, and it's like, Okay, I 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:14.080 received it, so I give it back. 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:15.520 I received this, so I give it back. 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:17.840 And in many ways, and I said, in many ways 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:22.400 is how the blessings I've kept coming, but in others 0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:26.160 has also worked against me because to your point, where 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:29.120 you're blocking the blessings where, yes, where I think I'm 0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:32.880 blocking the blessings at a place where you know, where 0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:36.800 I don't allowed for some of that, for some of 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:41.560 those blessings to return in unexpected ways, because I just 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:44.480 have to make sure that I control the environment the 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:46.960 outcome of most of the things. Because I felt in 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:49.520 a privileged place, yes, but we did earn this place. 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:51.680 It's not like I I'm privileged because blah blah blah 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:53.200 blah blah, you know, which a lot of people make 0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:55.280 as artists and all of us here that you know, 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:58.840 make us feel like it's almost like well, it's lucky 0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:01.680 for you because blah, lucky for you because you're this lucky. 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:04.520 There's nothing lucky about what we're doing, you know, and 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:07.280 we're fortunate to not be breaking rock. But there is 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:08.879 an amount of work that comes to the stuff that 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.679 we do that is that it's also hard to manage 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:14.960 for anybody at right, you know, But I don't know. 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:16.359 For me, that's kind of where interesting. 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:18.159 You know, it's tough for me to receive because I 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:19.520 feel like I got to give it back. 0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:22.360 But even but even like, okay, I'll give an example. 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.560 His birthday just passed, right, Yeah, what is it, Marcia, 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:27.600 No January Genuary third time? 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:29.560 Yeah, it's just like a week after mine, and we're 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.119 and we're all and you're like, you canna have a party? 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:34.240 Man, he doesn't celebrate himself. No. 0:17:34.400 --> 0:17:37.199 Yeah, And it's like his own people had to be like, 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:41.280 we're you're you're getting a damn birthday party. We're going 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:44.760 to celebrate you because it's your day in a in 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:46.720 a way for everyone to show gratitude. 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:47.920 But but he's so like. 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:50.800 You know, it's so interesting because I never celebrated any 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:53.040 of the success I never celebrated my birthdays either for 0:17:53.080 --> 0:17:57.119 another reason growing up. But Martha, she comes from a 0:17:57.160 --> 0:17:59.520 Mexican family, and it's like it's a party for everything. 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:02.919 Every week there's a freaking birthday. There's less money and meets, 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:08.840 there's something being performed, celebrating the littlest things, like we 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:10.800 we went to lunch just to celebrate the book launch. 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:13.159 I'm like, okay, I would never do that for myself. 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:15.800 I know, but I'm like, okay, like we'll go to lunch. 0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:18.400 And she was like, and I'm buying. And now it's 0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:20.280 like our money. I'm like, okay, you can buy. But 0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:25.359 it's it was allowing the act of generosity from my 0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:27.040 wife to say, hey, we're going to go to have 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:29.400 a lunch. It doesn't have to be some crazy big thing. 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:31.879 We went to cheesecake factory because I'm like, where do 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:33.080 you want to go? I don't care where we go? 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.920 And she bought uh And I was just like, okay, 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:39.200 I'm gonna allow this, you know, hour and a half 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:43.000 interaction with her family to have fun and be a moment. 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:45.280 It doesn't have to be some massive big thing, but 0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:48.399 allow the hard work to come back. 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:51.760 But how does it block your blessing though by you 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:53.120 refusing that. 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:54.080 How does it block that? 0:18:54.200 --> 0:19:00.560 Because generosity is part of creating abundance, and so it's gratitude, 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:04.920 these two things mashed together. So if you're saying, don't 0:19:04.960 --> 0:19:08.560 express your gratitude to me, you're blocking that flow of 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:13.159 someone giving to you that energy. And if you're blocking 0:19:13.480 --> 0:19:15.600 the generosity as well, Okay, I want to pay for 0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:17.159 your lunch, right if I want to pay for you. 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:20.280 If I say no, I got myself, you're blocking money 0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:24.719 literally from coming to you, physical money. You're saying, no, 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:27.439 I don't want you. So imagine if there's a person 0:19:28.080 --> 0:19:30.159 is money and you say I don't want you today, 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:32.879 I don't want you. I'm good, I'm good. You're saying, 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:36.320 get away from me energetically and physically. 0:19:36.720 --> 0:19:39.160 My brain is melted right now. 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:45.240 You're literally you're looking making it is making. And then 0:19:45.359 --> 0:19:49.080 and then here's what we do as providers, as overachievers, 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:53.560 as workers. Uh, we get resentful when no one gives 0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:56.359 us anything because we're like we're always giving to our 0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:59.720 family and our friends. And then people stop offering because 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:01.480 we say, no, I got you, Okay, take you here, Yeah, 0:20:01.480 --> 0:20:03.280 I appreciate you, I got you. Don't worry about it. 0:20:03.359 --> 0:20:05.159 I got you, I got don't worry about it. And 0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:07.520 then it's like ten years goes by and no one's 0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:10.640 showed it, no one's We haven't allowed anyone to give 0:20:10.840 --> 0:20:14.719 We blocked the blessing from others. But it's a very 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:17.720 hard thing. The last two years I've I've had to 0:20:17.800 --> 0:20:21.240 learn this because I was blocking myself. So it's been it. 0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:23.119 This is just as much for me. It was like, 0:20:23.200 --> 0:20:26.280 I need these exercises. I'm wearing a watch. My friend 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:28.640 gave me this watch my fortieth birthday. I never bought 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:31.000 a watch. I never wore watch before, And for six 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:33.040 months I didn't wear the watch because I was like, 0:20:33.359 --> 0:20:35.080 I don't want to be flashy. I don't want to 0:20:35.080 --> 0:20:36.840 like wear money on me. I was just like, I'm 0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:39.800 a simple guy, and I was like, I'm blocking the 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:42.399 flow of abundance. Someone gave me a gift, and I'm 0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:44.520 essentially saying I'm just gonna put it in a safe 0:20:45.480 --> 0:20:49.640 and just hide it there, like as opposed to appreciating 0:20:50.320 --> 0:20:54.360 the value of exchange. He gave me a gift. Let 0:20:54.400 --> 0:20:57.360 me appreciate it, not just by saying thank you. Let 0:20:57.359 --> 0:20:59.200 me use it, let me enjoy it, let me wear it. 0:20:59.400 --> 0:21:02.879