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Speaker 1: Can we all agree talking is dumb and outdated? God,

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Speaker 1: it's broken, Jeffrey in the morning. Why speak when you

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Speaker 1: can just text or DM tweet your thoughts at people.

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Speaker 1: I've been trying to get our show into text form

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Speaker 1: for years. Just text all our listeners the entire script

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Speaker 1: of the.

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Speaker 2: Show that's born.

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Speaker 1: Yet, despite all these advances, for some reason, voicemail still exists.

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Speaker 3: Yah.

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Speaker 1: Most people born after two thousand and two have no

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Speaker 1: idea how to leave a normal sounding voice message. And

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Speaker 1: while that is kind of sad for humanity, it is kind.

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Speaker 2: Of great for our show, yes, because it.

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Speaker 1: Allows us to do the Loser Line, And at the

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Speaker 1: end of each year we highlight the worst communicators of

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Speaker 1: our time by counting down the most awkward, hilarious, cringe

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Speaker 1: worthy messages that we got over the past year.

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Speaker 2: Just in case you miss them.

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Speaker 1: Now this year to ten countdown of the best the

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Speaker 1: Loser lines of twenty twenty four. Let's get right into

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Speaker 1: number ten next.

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Speaker 4: Hey, Sarah, thanks again for being so kind. I did

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Speaker 4: not mean to dump all over you with like my

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Speaker 4: coworker dying suddenly. I guess it all just came pouring out.

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Speaker 4: I needed a placed events Anyways, The least I could

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Speaker 4: do is pay you back by offering you some of

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Speaker 4: her supplies. I know that that might sound weird, but like,

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Speaker 4: have you been to office DEEPO lately? Staplers are like

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Speaker 4: fifteen dollars now and that's just like the normal ones.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, if you could come over to the office

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Speaker 4: building where I work, obviously tomorrow night later would be preferable.

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Speaker 4: We could definitely go through her drawers and pick out

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Speaker 4: a few things, maybe grab atry after if you're down.

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Speaker 4: I don't think she'd mind, you know, like obviously that

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Speaker 4: not here, So yeah, give me a call back.

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Speaker 5: Next, which one of you is fell free in my desk?

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Speaker 6: If I kicked the bucket?

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Speaker 2: Which one?

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Speaker 5: It's a Lexus?

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Speaker 7: Isn't it?

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Speaker 2: What your kids are work?

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Speaker 7: That's sitting?

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Speaker 2: It is not very good, That's what she said. Everything.

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Speaker 2: Let's move on. We got to get to number nine

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Speaker 2: on the list.

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Speaker 8: Next message, Adam, Hi, it's you to the other night.

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Speaker 8: I'm really sorry to do this too, like last minute,

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Speaker 8: but are you free in like an hour?

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Speaker 9: Maybe?

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Speaker 8: Green hate someone to be appall there from my grandpa

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Speaker 8: fe he weighed like three hundred and seventy pounds, and

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Speaker 8: the men in my family are a week, so thinking

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Speaker 8: who do I know who has giant mussels and would help?

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Speaker 10: And I'll tell you.

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Speaker 8: So, I just wanted to.

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Speaker 3: Uh see if you could do it. I know it's

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Speaker 3: a weird act, but I don't know how to call,

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Speaker 3: so I'll text you the address and.

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Speaker 8: If you just throw in a suit, come over, you know,

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Speaker 8: look bad and the only rule is don't drop grandpa.

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Speaker 3: Okay, great, let me know.

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Speaker 7: Next message, Oh, what a grim start to our top ten.

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Speaker 1: Two deaths in the top ten already is complimenting and

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Speaker 1: she's saying he looks strong.

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Speaker 5: Here's the thing.

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Speaker 7: If you are a person that when you die you

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Speaker 7: cannot be carried, it's time to look at cremation. Sure

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Speaker 7: that is maybe a better.

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Speaker 2: Option into right.

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Speaker 4: When you move.

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Speaker 2: Show is full of death advice today, death advice.

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Speaker 1: Though we're learning a lot with the top ten loser

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Speaker 1: line voicemails of the Year, let's keep learning with number eight.

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Speaker 9: Next message, Jamie, Hey, I gotta tell you, I've been

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Speaker 9: going to that waffle house for years and I never

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Speaker 9: saw a girl there that look like she's spitting beauty

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Speaker 9: passions Like you walked right off the Miss America.

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Speaker 11: I mean I'd let you.

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Speaker 9: Chunk throw some gravy on me for all I care,

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Speaker 9: being a couple of those paper hats, and anytime you want.

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Speaker 9: I mean, it's so pretty. Listen, my bird says I. Also,

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Speaker 9: my bird says high too.

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Speaker 1: I know it's pretty jarring, but that was actually tame

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Speaker 1: for a waffle house customer.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, it's just a it's just a reminder that

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Speaker 5: just because they look old and senile and kind, if.

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Speaker 1: You're just joining us, we're counting down the top ten

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Speaker 1: loser line voicemails of the past year and coming in

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Speaker 1: at number seven, we got this one.

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Speaker 12: Next message, is this the manager of the Dollar Store?

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Speaker 13: Figure you would send me the voicemail, you coward.

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Speaker 7: Here's a question, why do you call yourself the dollar

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Speaker 7: store when things cost.

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Speaker 4: More than a dollar?

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Speaker 9: You know, I have five bucks on me.

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Speaker 2: I want five candy bars.

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Speaker 3: I got an an argument with your registered lady.

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Speaker 9: I think her name was Kat or something.

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Speaker 5: So don't you Jack know that if you price something

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Speaker 5: higher than what you.

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Speaker 3: Cram on your sign, it's false advertising. And you know what,

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Speaker 3: get ready for a class.

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Speaker 10: Action lawsuit and me hitting up every one of your

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Speaker 10: stores this weekend.

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Speaker 3: In one hundred dollars radius.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna steal all your toothpaste, and then what are.

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Speaker 3: You gonna do?

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Speaker 9: Huh, what are you gonna do?

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Speaker 3: Wow?

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Speaker 2: Not have fresh breath?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, angry about candy bars. We're getting all of Brooks doppelgangers.

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Speaker 7: Call Honestly, I did reflect on my mother. They opened

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Speaker 7: a Dollar General or something in my and she went

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Speaker 7: in there and saw two dollars wine glasses.

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Speaker 2: Oh not happy.

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Speaker 1: Dollar General is the nicest store to open in your

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Speaker 1: town in fifty years? It was too, So let's move

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Speaker 1: on to your number six loser line voicemail of the.

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Speaker 3: Year next message, Hey Jessica, it's going to be difficult,

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Speaker 3: but uh, I just got back from the doctor.

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Speaker 11: And he told me I have two months left to live, So.

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Speaker 13: Just kidding, gotcha?

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Speaker 3: Oh man, you probably felt so bad.

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Speaker 13: But now that I have your attention and uh, you

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Speaker 13: know I'm around for the long haul, let's go out.

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Speaker 13: I mean, I was serious about going to the doctor,

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Speaker 13: but he told me I was.

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Speaker 11: Bigger than average.

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Speaker 2: Call me, Oh, this is the cringiest. How would I

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Speaker 2: get this guy?

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Speaker 9: Oh?

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Speaker 2: My god, women love a guy with a sense of humor.

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Speaker 7: That's not funny.

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Speaker 2: I didn't say a good sense of humor, a sense

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Speaker 2: of time, got it?

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Speaker 7: You can't use humor.

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Speaker 6: It's not worried.

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Speaker 1: But remember we have made it from number ten to

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Speaker 1: number six. As we're still counting down the top ten

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Speaker 1: loser line messages of the year.

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Speaker 2: Gets better, it does. It has to get better from there.

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Speaker 1: Who will have the honor of being named the number

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Speaker 1: one cringiest voicemail of twenty twenty four. You're gonna find

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Speaker 1: out when we continue the countdown right after this.

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Speaker 2: It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

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Speaker 1: And if you're just joining us, we're in the middle

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Speaker 1: of our countdown at the top ten loser line voicemails

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Speaker 1: of the past year retreat And it's hard because there's

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Speaker 1: so much delicious cringe for us to choose from. We

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Speaker 1: can't plick them all. So we've already played numbers ten

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Speaker 1: through number six. And what have we covered so far.

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Speaker 1: Our lady's angry rant at the dollar store for being

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Speaker 1: too expensive, a woman who wanted a last second fill

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Speaker 1: in pallbearer for her three hundred and seventy five pound grandpa.

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Speaker 1: And a man willing to loot free office supplies from

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Speaker 1: a dead woman's desk in order to impress his date.

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Speaker 5: I'm really glad you didn't bring up the old guy

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Speaker 5: with the parrot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like him.

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Speaker 1: I mean, and we're not even into the top five yet,

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Speaker 1: so you know it's only gonna get weirder as we

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Speaker 1: continue the countdown. Let's get to your number five loser

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Speaker 1: line voicemail of twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 10: Hi, it's you like tongue twisters.

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Speaker 9: Because they make my mouth chickle.

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Speaker 4: Speaky Shimon Sean snatched Chevin Slippery Spiders.

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Speaker 9: Isn't that fun?

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Speaker 11: I love that one.

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Speaker 10: I love Speaky Simon so great. Now you do one

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Speaker 10: for me?

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Speaker 11: Okay, light, yeah, whenever?

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Speaker 1: Okay, his creepy laugh is gonna like haunt my dreams?

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Speaker 2: Why did that sit so wrong?

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Speaker 9: I know?

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Speaker 1: And here's actually like the kindest, nicest, most normal without

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Speaker 1: the tone of his voice.

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Speaker 5: Yeah literally, it was his voice. It's like whatever the

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Speaker 5: opposite of as mr.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Let's listen to the number four loser line message of

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Speaker 1: twenty four.

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Speaker 10: Okay, Jessica, I mean, let's get one thing straight. I mean,

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Speaker 10: do you even understand like who you're blowing off right now?

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Speaker 10: I mean, I mean, my dad is worth like a

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Speaker 10: butt ton of money, and I'm worth a butt ton

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Speaker 10: of money. I mean, he's very important. I'm you've heard

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Speaker 10: of like doctor Shoals odor eater foot inserts. I mean,

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Speaker 10: my dad invented those things. I mean, if it wasn't

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Speaker 10: for him, like athlete's foot would be like out of

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Speaker 10: freaking control and foot sweat and planter warts and corns

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Speaker 10: and calluses and plant fasciitis and foot pain and all

192
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Speaker 10: that crap. I mean on the air to the doctor

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Speaker 10: Shoal's fortune. I mean, and you're not gonna call me back.

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Speaker 10: I'm the footstink king. Check my instep and when I

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Speaker 10: post for my family's villa in Italy and you're not invited,

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Speaker 10: so goodbye.

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Speaker 11: I hope you get bunions. Oh wow, you're not.

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Speaker 2: Going to the villa snowy feet belt.

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Speaker 7: I mean that is quite the air.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, But if you're just joining us, we're counting

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Speaker 1: down the top ten loser line voicemails of the past

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Speaker 1: calendar year. And remember or you can get the number

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Speaker 1: for the loser line by texting the word loser to

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Speaker 1: seven eight, five, nine two and make sure you give

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Speaker 1: it out to somebody so we can keep doing messages

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Speaker 1: like this in the coming years. Now we got to

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Speaker 1: get to number three loser line phone call of the year.

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Speaker 6: Next message, Hey, take it's a I just wanted to

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Speaker 6: tell you I had so much fun with you the

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Speaker 6: other night, and I love the homework. Assignment you gave

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Speaker 6: me is Mary bang kill. So I had to think

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Speaker 6: about it. Out of all the presidents, he told me

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Speaker 6: which ones I would do, and I finally.

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Speaker 3: Have my answer.

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Speaker 6: So okay, first we're gonna start with Bang. And like

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Speaker 6: obviously the answer like everyone would give would be Clinton

217
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Speaker 6: because like he knows what he's doing. But I'm thinking

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Speaker 6: it my real answer might be Richard Nixon, because you know,

219
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Speaker 6: the bad boys, like they're always the most fun. So

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna go with Nixon on that and then kill.

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Speaker 6: I don't even really want to kill any of them,

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Speaker 6: but if I had to, I guess I would choose

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Speaker 6: Link because you know, he gets shot anyway, so I

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Speaker 6: don't know what's the harm and me doing it, So

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Speaker 6: I guess I'll just kill him. And then for Mary,

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Speaker 6: I think I think I'm gonna go with Obama on

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Speaker 6: this one, just because like I'm not exactly sure if

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Speaker 6: he's a legal citizen or not. So if he marries me,

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Speaker 6: then he's going to be a citizen, and I really

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Speaker 6: want that for him. So yeah, now your turn, and

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Speaker 6: you have to do it back to me, and you

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Speaker 6: have to do first, ladies.

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Speaker 8: I'll be waiting.

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Speaker 5: Is anyone else mad that the bang wasn't obviously?

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Speaker 3: JFK?

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Speaker 1: All right, we're on now to number two of our

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Speaker 1: top loser line phone calls every year.

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Speaker 2: What's this one going to be next?

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Speaker 12: Hey, my mom's in the other room, so I have

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Speaker 12: to keep this kind of quiet. But but I still

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Speaker 12: wanted to get your feedback on my movie review channel

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Speaker 12: that doing on YouTube.

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Speaker 11: So hold on, I need to start the music. There

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Speaker 11: we go.

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Speaker 9: This is Godzilla versus Kong.

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Speaker 11: Kong walks in going all o.

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Speaker 12: Then Godzilla comes in going.

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Speaker 11: All and it's pretty cool, but but there's a surprise

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Speaker 11: at the end. I'll give you one hint, so overall,

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Speaker 11: I give it three and a half goldfish crackers. So

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Speaker 11: how's that?

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Speaker 1: Didn't he start that call by saying, I need to

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Speaker 1: keep this quiet because my mom's in the other room.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, you think his mom wanted to move out?

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Speaker 2: I never saw that movie.

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Speaker 7: Did they have a baby? Godzilla?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm pretty sure like that, that's what that last

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Speaker 5: sound like.

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Speaker 2: I don't don't spoil it for us. I want to

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Speaker 2: see a person. There we go.

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Speaker 1: Now, finally we have Gianet friends. We have made it

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Speaker 1: to the number one message in the top ten loser

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Speaker 1: lines of twenty twenty four, the Creme de la crine.

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Speaker 1: It's called checks mix.

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Speaker 2: Rewind. Let's hear it.

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Speaker 3: Next message, Hey, Ali, it's I don't know if you

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Speaker 3: remember me. We met and uh, you know over the

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Speaker 3: check make sad. You make that really like a really

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Speaker 3: funny joke. You said, waiter checks please like we laughed. Oh, man,

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Speaker 3: like go anyway I was, I was kind of wondering

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Speaker 3: if I'm sorry. Oh crap, my phone's actually about to die. Basically,

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Speaker 3: let me hurry. I had a really good time with you.

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Speaker 3: I think it's so keep it a pool and like amazing,

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Speaker 3: and I just like, like, let's go out next Friday

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Speaker 3: or Saturday or or whenever you're free by dinner. I

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Speaker 3: just want to get to know you. And and yeah, coming back, Oh,

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Speaker 3: I guess I didn't have to actually go that fast.

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Speaker 3: My phone I'm not gonna die. Well, can we just

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Speaker 3: like rewind past all the parts go back to the

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Speaker 3: checks mixed up, just rewind, yeah, to just ignore that.

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Speaker 1: And they said it is They said, there's no such

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Speaker 1: thing as the perfect voicemail.

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Speaker 2: We just heard it.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, God, I felt for that man.

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Speaker 11: You can hear the panic. Yes, you know.

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Speaker 7: It's like one of those moments where the words are

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Speaker 7: coming out of your mouth but you can't stop them.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why I said that.

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Speaker 2: I didn't say that, but anyway, so your brain is

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Speaker 2: shut up, fortunately in the same vein. We are running

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Speaker 2: out of time to.

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Speaker 1: Do this segment, so those time time moves it around

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Speaker 1: with twenty twenty four, we need you to help.

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Speaker 2: It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening and happy to your

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Speaker 1: happy uh merry Christmas everything luck anyway, thanks guys.

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Speaker 2: That's your lose ones of the year. It's Brook and

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Speaker 2: Jeffrey in the Morning.

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Speaker 8: Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.