Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to respect what others say and build
Speaker 1: on it rather than disagreeing as a default, think and not.
Speaker 1: But we've all been in situations where others seem to
Speaker 1: immediately discount our ideas. Look there's an ice cream parlor,
Speaker 1: but look at the line. Let's keep going. We could
Speaker 1: host a five K to raise money for the hospital.
Speaker 1: We did that several years ago and it was a
Speaker 1: waste of time. I'd love to participate in our presentation
Speaker 1: to the team, but I'm the project lead. I'm the
Speaker 1: one who presents ouch. Moments like these are definitely de motivational,
Speaker 1: and they don't have to happen even in situations where
Speaker 1: there are some disagreements. New managers and new lewood's often
Speaker 1: get the advice to say and not, But as they
Speaker 1: learn to navigate new relationships, it turns out that using
Speaker 1: the word but in emotionally charged conversations can make others
Speaker 1: feel that their perspective is being dismissed or negated by
Speaker 1: yours and feels more amicable. And chances are you can
Speaker 1: still get to a good solution. For instance, imagine your
Speaker 1: daughter says she wants to go to her friend's house.
Speaker 1: Your first response, but we have to social distance, using
Speaker 1: and suggests the different framing. You want to go to
Speaker 1: Katie's house and we need to keep our family and
Speaker 1: her family safe. How can we do that? Then maybe
Speaker 1: together you decide she can hang out on her friend's
Speaker 1: porch and not. But is great for finding solutions at
Speaker 1: work too. Suppose your boss asks you to pull together
Speaker 1: some data for a project. Immediately, you've got another deadline
Speaker 1: that is taking all your attention Instead of responding, but
Speaker 1: I'm swamped with that report you have me doing. Try
Speaker 1: reframing it. You'd like me to pull together the data
Speaker 1: as soon as possible, and I have this Friday deadline
Speaker 1: for our other project. Could I get you the data Monday?
Speaker 1: Among improv comedy troops, there's generally an agreement that when
Speaker 1: one actor proposes something during a scene, the others accept
Speaker 1: it and build on it. They call this principle yes.
Speaker 1: And if one actor says, Dad, are dogs missing, the
Speaker 1: other actor can say, I bet she's headed for the lake.
Speaker 1: Dad cannot say, we don't have a dog that kills
Speaker 1: the scene right there, and it takes the momentum out
Speaker 1: of other interactions too favoring and over but allows us
Speaker 1: to see possibilities. We're not canceling out what the other
Speaker 1: person has said. We're letting their perspective and ours coexist
Speaker 1: and see what can be made of the two. So today,
Speaker 1: when you find yourself about to say but, try figuring
Speaker 1: out a way to say, and but you can't have
Speaker 1: ice cream, you haven't had your broccoli becomes and you
Speaker 1: can have ice cream just as soon as you eat
Speaker 1: your broccoli. Same thing, entirely different approach. In the meantime,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making
Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to
Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,
Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the number four,
Speaker 1: then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me
Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeart media dot com.
Speaker 1: That Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. For
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Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
Speaker 1: favorite shows.