1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,960 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to respect what others say and build 4 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 1: on it rather than disagreeing as a default, think and not. 5 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:29,479 Speaker 1: But we've all been in situations where others seem to 6 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: immediately discount our ideas. Look there's an ice cream parlor, 7 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: but look at the line. Let's keep going. We could 8 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: host a five K to raise money for the hospital. 9 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 1: We did that several years ago and it was a 10 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 1: waste of time. I'd love to participate in our presentation 11 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: to the team, but I'm the project lead. I'm the 12 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: one who presents ouch. Moments like these are definitely de motivational, 13 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 1: and they don't have to happen even in situations where 14 00:00:55,960 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: there are some disagreements. New managers and new lewood's often 15 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 1: get the advice to say and not, But as they 16 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:09,119 Speaker 1: learn to navigate new relationships, it turns out that using 17 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,919 Speaker 1: the word but in emotionally charged conversations can make others 18 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 1: feel that their perspective is being dismissed or negated by 19 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:22,480 Speaker 1: yours and feels more amicable. And chances are you can 20 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:26,680 Speaker 1: still get to a good solution. For instance, imagine your 21 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,640 Speaker 1: daughter says she wants to go to her friend's house. 22 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:32,960 Speaker 1: Your first response, but we have to social distance, using 23 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 1: and suggests the different framing. You want to go to 24 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,119 Speaker 1: Katie's house and we need to keep our family and 25 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,959 Speaker 1: her family safe. How can we do that? Then maybe 26 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,559 Speaker 1: together you decide she can hang out on her friend's 27 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: porch and not. But is great for finding solutions at 28 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 1: work too. Suppose your boss asks you to pull together 29 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: some data for a project. Immediately, you've got another deadline 30 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 1: that is taking all your attention Instead of responding, but 31 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: I'm swamped with that report you have me doing. Try 32 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: reframing it. You'd like me to pull together the data 33 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: as soon as possible, and I have this Friday deadline 34 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:14,919 Speaker 1: for our other project. Could I get you the data Monday? 35 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 1: Among improv comedy troops, there's generally an agreement that when 36 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: one actor proposes something during a scene, the others accept 37 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: it and build on it. They call this principle yes. 38 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 1: And if one actor says, Dad, are dogs missing, the 39 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: other actor can say, I bet she's headed for the lake. 40 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,799 Speaker 1: Dad cannot say, we don't have a dog that kills 41 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,359 Speaker 1: the scene right there, and it takes the momentum out 42 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: of other interactions too favoring and over but allows us 43 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,679 Speaker 1: to see possibilities. We're not canceling out what the other 44 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: person has said. We're letting their perspective and ours coexist 45 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 1: and see what can be made of the two. So today, 46 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: when you find yourself about to say but, try figuring 47 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 1: out a way to say, and but you can't have 48 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: ice cream, you haven't had your broccoli becomes and you 49 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,079 Speaker 1: can have ice cream just as soon as you eat 50 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: your broccoli. Same thing, entirely different approach. In the meantime, 51 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making 52 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to 53 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions, 54 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, 55 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the number four, 56 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me 57 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeart media dot com. 58 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: That Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. 59 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch. 60 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. For 61 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: more podcasts from I Heart radio, visit the I heart 62 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 63 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: favorite shows.