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Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for you.

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Speaker 1: Here it ease Strawberry letter. All right, thank you, nephew.

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Speaker 1: I think we need to do a little disclaimer on

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Speaker 1: this letter before we get started. Parents, you may not

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Speaker 1: want your kids to hear this, especially the younger ones. Okay, subject,

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Speaker 1: I'm dating the private Whisperer, Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm dating

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Speaker 1: the private Whisperer, Dear Stephen Shirley. I am a twenty

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Speaker 1: two year old college student and I just started my

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Speaker 1: senior year at a new school. I've joined a frat

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Speaker 1: and met an awesome girl, and it was all going

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Speaker 1: great until last week. We threw a party to kick

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Speaker 1: off the semester, and when my frat brothers saw my girlfriend,

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Speaker 1: they all got awkward and quiet. She didn't stay long

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Speaker 1: after that, and when she left, I call them out

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Speaker 1: for acting weird and ignoring my girl. They all told

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Speaker 1: me that I was stupid and had no idea that

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Speaker 1: I was dating the private whisperer. They said that my

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Speaker 1: girl is known around the entire campus as the chick

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Speaker 1: to go to if you want to practice your sexual skills.

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Speaker 1: They said that guys used her as a de virginizer

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Speaker 1: if they were too nerdy to find their own girls.

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Speaker 1: They're also cell phone videos floating around campus of her

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Speaker 1: having sex. I didn't know what to say. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I was so mad. When I asked her, she admitted it,

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Speaker 1: and she said that she has changed and she no

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Speaker 1: longer acts like that. She said she's been in therapy

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Speaker 1: for a year and she's focused on school now and

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Speaker 1: she deserves a clean start. She said she knew it

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Speaker 1: would be hard to get rid of her reputation, but

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Speaker 1: she was trying. She said that this is the first

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Speaker 1: real relationship she's been in, and she's been constantly afraid

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Speaker 1: that I would find out her past. I need your advice,

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Speaker 1: Uncle Steve. I can't look at her the same way anymore.

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Speaker 1: She's a great girl and I really like her, but

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Speaker 1: I can't handle her past. A part of me wants

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Speaker 1: to show her how a real man is supposed to

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Speaker 1: treat her, but the other part of me doesn't want

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Speaker 1: to be seen with the private whisperer. Please help. Wow,

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Speaker 1: you're young, You're twenty two, twenty two year old college

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Speaker 1: student and everything's going great. I understand why you're in

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Speaker 1: this dilemma. I really do. On one hand, you actually

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Speaker 1: like this young lady. You guys, you know, have had

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Speaker 1: a good relationship up until up until this point, you

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Speaker 1: want to be with her, But of course your fat brother,

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Speaker 1: your frat brothers are never gonna let you live this down.

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Speaker 1: And you're saying that you can't handle her past. I

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Speaker 1: would say, first of all, you know, of all the

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Speaker 1: women on campus, I just gotta know, how did you

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Speaker 1: end up with the so called private whisperer. There's a

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Speaker 1: lot of women. There's a lot of women on campus.

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Speaker 1: I mean, what are your chances of this? So I

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Speaker 1: got to say, does she seek you out? Okay, if

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Speaker 1: you came after her or she came after you, I

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Speaker 1: should say, then maybe she really hasn't changed. Okay, you were,

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Speaker 1: you know, like fresh new meat to her. She came

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Speaker 1: after you, and that's how she became the private whisper.

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Speaker 1: I'm assuming she knew how to get you, just like

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Speaker 1: she got all the other guys. I do believe though,

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Speaker 1: I got to say this, that people can change. Everyone.

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Speaker 1: Everyone has a past, Everyone has a story. Everyone has

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Speaker 1: something they're ashamed of or something that they did in

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Speaker 1: the past that they were ashamed of. But this is

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Speaker 1: really beyond and although it's not impossible, but it is

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Speaker 1: hard to get past this. I mean videos of her

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Speaker 1: having sex with people are floating around campus. It's hard,

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Speaker 1: hard hearing people refer to your girl as the private

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Speaker 1: whisperer or the de virginizer. I mean, that's hard, or

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Speaker 1: the go to girl for nerds who are too shy

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Speaker 1: to talk to girls. I mean, this is really hard. Uh,

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Speaker 1: You're you're twenty two, and this is a whole the

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Speaker 1: whole thing, and it would be hard if you were

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Speaker 1: even older than that. But it's a lot to deal

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Speaker 1: with at this young age. Um, and I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: you're mature enough to handle this. This is a situation here.

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Speaker 1: I think right now this relationship should move to a friendship,

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Speaker 1: all right, basically because of what you said in the letter.

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Speaker 1: She's a great girl, you really like her, but you

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Speaker 1: you can't handle her past. You just can't handle her past.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to be you don't want to be

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Speaker 1: seen with the private whisperer. So I think you know,

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Speaker 1: if she's truly trying to change, she does need support

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Speaker 1: and that will show. That will come. That will come,

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Speaker 1: But right now she needs support of a friend along

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Speaker 1: with the therapy that she's getting. She says, she's been

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Speaker 1: in therapy for a year. Steve, Well, yeah, that good answer.

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Speaker 1: That's goods. And sometimes a young people do need real

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Speaker 1: advice because in the letter he says, Uncle Steve, I

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Speaker 1: need your advice. So this ain't no time to be funny.

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Speaker 1: I got the jokes for this. Now. Please know that

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Speaker 1: I got skill set for this, but I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: do it because it's a young lady that's obviously made

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Speaker 1: some mistakes and now she wants to correct her mistakes.

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Speaker 1: You you starting your senior year at a new school,

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Speaker 1: at a new school. This is why he don't know.

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Speaker 1: Because he's starting his senior year at a new school. Now,

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Speaker 1: he went there, he joined the frat, met this awesome

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Speaker 1: girl who was going great until last week. We threw

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Speaker 1: a party kick off to semester, and when your frat

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Speaker 1: brothers saw your girl, they got all awkward. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's like, oh, man, hen know what dog opinion. But

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Speaker 1: you don't know because he started his senior year at

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Speaker 1: a new school. He just met this girl. Now, Shirley,

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Speaker 1: you was trying to figure out did she come on

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Speaker 1: to him? And he came on to her? He saw her,

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Speaker 1: great girl, He hit on her. It was easy. It

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Speaker 1: was easy. Hang on right there, and that's where we'll

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Speaker 1: leave it. It was easy. Let's recap the Strawberry letter,

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Speaker 1: subject time dating the private Whisperer. Yeah, this dude, twenty

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Speaker 1: two seniors, started his senior at the new school, got

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Speaker 1: to the school, he joined the frat. Everything was going

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Speaker 1: good to frat throw top of the semester party. He

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Speaker 1: shows up at the party with this great girl that

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Speaker 1: he met, and all of a sudden, his frat brothers

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Speaker 1: started acting me a weird and everything, and you know,

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Speaker 1: they all got awkward and quiet. The girl didn't stay

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Speaker 1: long after that, and the girl left. And then you

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Speaker 1: called him out for acting crazy. Run your girl, and

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Speaker 1: they told you, hold up, man, how you in here

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Speaker 1: with her with the d whisper? I mean, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I mean the private whisper. They said that your girl

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Speaker 1: was known around the entire campus for letting guys use

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Speaker 1: her as a de virginizer and practicing their sex skills.

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Speaker 1: There's even videos around campus of her having sex. Wow,

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Speaker 1: this your girl, man, Now, it's a hard blow to take.

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Speaker 1: Man Like Shirley, say, you're twenty two, so I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: talk to you as real advice as a man, and

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Speaker 1: to give you my opinion of this now because you're

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Speaker 1: knew on the campus. You didn't know this, so you

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Speaker 1: ran up into it. What seems like a good girl

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Speaker 1: and guess what, she is probably just that right now.

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Speaker 1: But this good girl acted bad in her past and

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Speaker 1: her reputation precedes her. And it is hard. That's why

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Speaker 1: I tell women all the time. Man, these double standards

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Speaker 1: as out here, they are real. These are real. My

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Speaker 1: father told my I used to listen to him, talk

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Speaker 1: to my big sisters all the time. You can't do

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Speaker 1: what I do and still be a lady. Now you

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Speaker 1: can say it's two thousand twenty Steve, and you old

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Speaker 1: fashioned women get to do what they want to. You

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Speaker 1: can do what you want to do, and you have

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Speaker 1: the right to decide to do anything you want to do.

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Speaker 1: But in your decision making process you have to understand

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Speaker 1: that there are ramifications and consequences that come with the decisions.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know the woman that's gonna come along

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Speaker 1: and be able to change the opinions that's been established

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Speaker 1: for years when it comes to double standards. Absolutely, I

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Speaker 1: have yet to see the woman break that down. Now,

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Speaker 1: you all can use examples of modern day women who

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Speaker 1: have done sexual exploited things that made it all work

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Speaker 1: out for themselves. Yeah, but it ain't you. And I

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Speaker 1: can also if for every person you named that's done

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Speaker 1: some sexually exploited things on YouTube or something and made

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Speaker 1: money with it, I could show you hundreds of thousands

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Speaker 1: who've damaged their lives and careers because of it. I

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Speaker 1: don't know that you want to take that chance, young

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Speaker 1: ladies out there that's listening. You're free to do it. Then,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to be an old fogy and tell

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Speaker 1: you differently because you had the right to decide what

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Speaker 1: you want to decide. But in this move right here,

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Speaker 1: you're going to draw the ire of the public. And

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, she got names, she the Whisperer,

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Speaker 1: shed a diverginize her. She on video and she wants

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Speaker 1: to live it down. So when you find out about it,

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Speaker 1: you ask her about it. She admitted to it, but

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Speaker 1: she also told her she was going to therapy because

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Speaker 1: she knows she made a mistake and she deserves a

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Speaker 1: clean start. And I agree. She said she's been in

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Speaker 1: therapy for years. She's focused on school. Now she deserves

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Speaker 1: a clean start. That young lady is absolutely correct, because

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Speaker 1: have not we all had to have a clean star,

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Speaker 1: have not we all needed some form of forgiveness. So

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Speaker 1: with this young lady, and if she's listening, yes, she

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Speaker 1: does deserve a clean start. And she says that you're

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Speaker 1: the first real relationship she had. But now you got

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Speaker 1: a problem, man, because you are dude now and your

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Speaker 1: ego is involved you with somebody in the reason she

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Speaker 1: was uncomfortable in the thing because some of them dudes

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Speaker 1: and they probably had her. Ye all have seen the

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Speaker 1: video or know somebody that didn't have her. So that's

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Speaker 1: why she left, because she was uncomfortable. Well, I think

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Speaker 1: that Shirley was right. I think she needs a friend,

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Speaker 1: and I think you're just a gentleman that could be that.

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Speaker 1: Here's a couple of suggestions I would say. I would say,

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Speaker 1: be her friend, spend some time talking to her, help

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Speaker 1: her understand her value. She's not going to erase this

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Speaker 1: reputation at this school. If I was both of y'all

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Speaker 1: at the mere terms, I transfer. That's a good idea.

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Speaker 1: If she wants a new start, she should transfer and

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Speaker 1: get away from this. That's the only way to get

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Speaker 1: a new start. That's my biggest suggestion to you. She

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Speaker 1: should transfer. If she don't want to transfer, then you

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Speaker 1: should be her friend and help her through it. And

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Speaker 1: then when y'all graduate, maybe y'all going and having some

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Speaker 1: type of life together. All right, thank you, Stave. All right, guys,

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Speaker 1: that good. Email us or instagram us your thoughts on

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Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey FM and check out

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to