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Speaker 1: I think that's really when we fell in love, when

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Speaker 1: we started harmonizing on the porch. She's like, Okay, that's

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Speaker 1: my guy.

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Speaker 2: But I know that sounds really funny.

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Speaker 3: But imagine someone connecting with something that is so poor

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Speaker 3: who you are as a person, that's was your whole upbringing,

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Speaker 3: your whole childhood, and this person goes, I see you.

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Speaker 3: And that's how I felt in that moment, Like I

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Speaker 3: was like, wait, you know that, like culturally you know this,

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Speaker 3: and that was just like amazing to me.

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Speaker 4: What is the song? No?

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Speaker 2: Ideal? Normal?

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Speaker 4: Normal? I and ould would you not fall in love?

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Speaker 2: Would you not? Oh, Adriene Hope?

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Speaker 4: What you said?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Okay, Adrian Hope.

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Speaker 4: And you see here today.

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Speaker 3: And the cracks wild, the crowd goes crazy.

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Speaker 4: Do some accolade. It's not just that you're my friend

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Speaker 4: and I love you and I'm so happy to see

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Speaker 4: you today.

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Speaker 2: Did you see My face was like accolade?

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Speaker 4: No, let's do it because people might take you for granted.

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Speaker 4: I probably take you for granted. Oh, Adrian's gonna come.

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Speaker 4: But ay, your resume is a strong one. You have

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Speaker 4: an Emmy or Emmy's.

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Speaker 2: I have an Emmy, but like four nominations.

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Speaker 4: Okay, four nominations. What else? You've had one hundred and

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Speaker 4: fifty jobs, different jobs. The resume goes back to nineteen.

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Speaker 3: Ninety, ninety eight, ninety nine, and that was what starting

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Speaker 3: with three LW real W Cheetah Girls.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, what's after that?

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Speaker 3: Cheater Girls? And then the next was I got a

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Speaker 3: deal at Deaf Jam.

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Speaker 4: That's our era recording Artists. I can't wait till we

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Speaker 4: get into the conversation about that era.

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Speaker 2: That was an era, because I think.

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Speaker 4: It's a lot of it is very telling, and I'll

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Speaker 4: tell you where. I'm a little bit. Deaf Jam Era

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Speaker 4: Sign your Recorded Artists.

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Speaker 2: A host on MTV Afternoons with Adrian Uh huh. I

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Speaker 2: got it back there.

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Speaker 3: I got the audition to do The Real, The Real,

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Speaker 3: and then I did that for almost ten years.

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Speaker 4: Was it that long?

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Speaker 2: It was nine years old?

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Speaker 4: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: I started that as a twenty nine year old and

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Speaker 3: when it finished airing, I was thirty eight, about to

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Speaker 3: turn thirty.

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Speaker 2: Nine, married, yeah, with child with a baby on the

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Speaker 2: way for sure.

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Speaker 4: Baby on the way. And The Real was amazing and

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Speaker 4: hitting all kinds of stuff. We'll talk about that time too.

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Speaker 4: But then it was the mass singer.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was the day I can see your voice,

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Speaker 2: I could see you.

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Speaker 3: We're still doing and then I joined E News and

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Speaker 3: News and then I came home.

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Speaker 4: And in the middle of all of that, by the way,

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Speaker 4: all things Adrians and clothing line Love Woods.

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Speaker 2: Oh I had Xi XI the jewelry line, which.

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Speaker 3: I mean, hey, that sounds weird now just hearing it

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Speaker 3: really important.

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Speaker 2: Way have I done something with my life? You have.

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Speaker 4: And by the way, that is not even the best

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Speaker 4: part of your life to me, that's like just the career.

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Speaker 2: That is the truth.

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Speaker 4: My favorite part of your life is the life that

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Speaker 4: the personal life that you have manifested, and I have

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Speaker 4: witnessed you manifest since I've known you. So we're going

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Speaker 4: to get into that today. But look at you with

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Speaker 4: a solid resume.

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Speaker 2: I actually some of the things I was like, wait,

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Speaker 2: what did I do it?

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Speaker 4: And I'm sure we're forgetting some things.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure, but yeah, it's all led me to hear.

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Speaker 4: But at no point, and I've known you since round fifteen, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I met you at fourteen and a half

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Speaker 2: going on fifteen.

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Speaker 4: So at no point since I've known you, have I

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Speaker 4: seen you. I've seen you be knocked down and get

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Speaker 4: back up. But I've never seen you just with that

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Speaker 4: thing in your face that was like, yeah, no, I'm

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Speaker 4: over this. I don't want to do it anymore like you.

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Speaker 2: I feel like the do you see it in my face? Now?

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Speaker 4: I still see it. Yeah, you still want to do stuff,

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Speaker 4: don't I do.

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Speaker 2: I do want to do stuff. It's just different.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think having a child and like being a mom

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Speaker 3: makes that so different. Like there's days that I have

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Speaker 3: to convince myself like like we.

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Speaker 2: Should be doing something, you know what.

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Speaker 4: I mean, because you still have that thing.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 3: It's it's like a torture inside of me of like

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Speaker 3: there are nights that I don't see that I'm like

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Speaker 3: I should be doing something, like or what am I

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Speaker 3: missing out on? And then there's other days that I'm like,

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Speaker 3: enjoy the season of breast.

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Speaker 4: Well one of the exciting things for me. I was like, Yo,

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Speaker 4: I need to I've always liked since I launched a podcast,

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Speaker 4: I wanted you to be honest, we just haven't been

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Speaker 4: able to get it together. I don't know we're supposed

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Speaker 4: to do it in LA a couple of times, and

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Speaker 4: then I was like, I really want to do it

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Speaker 4: with you with Israel, because it's because I feel like

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Speaker 4: I don't know, just there's a lot to learn in

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Speaker 4: the life that you guys have created. And so we're

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Speaker 4: going to bring him in in a few minutes. Not yet. Ye,

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Speaker 4: he's gonna come in with a big pow.

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Speaker 2: Guys. The big pow is the fact that I'm sweating

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Speaker 2: so bad.

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Speaker 4: I just wanted good can we put Oh? The air

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Speaker 4: is because of the noise.

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Speaker 2: Menopause. It's so bad, yes, and it's so bad. So

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Speaker 2: the craziest thing is because I did see but I

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Speaker 2: don't mind.

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Speaker 3: I did six years of IVF and then like when

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Speaker 3: you stop that, it triggers your body to believe that, like.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I have some friends who have gone through that.

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Speaker 3: So it comes earlier than normal. And so I'm like,

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Speaker 3: this woman was this woman was blow drying my hair.

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Speaker 3: I cannot make this up. Woman was blow.

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Speaker 2: Drying my hair.

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Speaker 3: And literally, while she's blow drying, She's like, it's not drying,

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Speaker 3: like she's the makeup artist is doing my makeup. She

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Speaker 3: keeps looking at my face and stuff, and then I'm googling.

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Speaker 3: I'm silently just feeling like very hot, and I go

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Speaker 3: on my phone, and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: What does a hot flash feel like?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 3: And I like googled it on my phone and I said, guys,

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Speaker 3: I think I'm having a hot flash.

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Speaker 2: When I turned around.

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Speaker 3: This this literal hairstylist starts crying. She was actually concerned

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Speaker 3: because she kept drying a spot of hair, but I

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Speaker 3: was sweating so bad that the piece of hair would

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Speaker 3: get wet again.

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Speaker 2: The makeup was running down my face.

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Speaker 3: They were like, you look like what a cartoon character

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Speaker 3: would show menopause.

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Speaker 2: Looking like that was me. It was like, it's possy, yush,

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Speaker 2: so bear with me.

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Speaker 1: All.

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Speaker 4: Oh, so today's gonna be fun. And then we turned

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Speaker 4: off the air because of the noise. But is it

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Speaker 4: really bad?

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Speaker 3: If we put the noise will be bad. Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: don't think it's let's try it's not, guys, it's not

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Speaker 3: real heat.

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Speaker 2: You could turn the A C on all you want.

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Speaker 3: It's oh, the heat is coming from within, folks, it's

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Speaker 3: not outside.

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Speaker 2: It's wild. It's crazy.

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Speaker 3: Look and in my mind, I'm still eighteen, So this

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Speaker 3: is very confusing.

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Speaker 4: The side when you feel like you she needs it, now,

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Speaker 4: what do you mean on the side for when you

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Speaker 4: need it? Okay, it looks good at.

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Speaker 2: Least it looks glowy, glowy. It's doing it's it's giving back.

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Speaker 4: We're back. We are back.

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Speaker 3: Is that like terrible to share or it doesn't feel

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Speaker 3: very sexy, but Berry's out here just talking about it.

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Speaker 4: So it's honest and honest, and you're you know, I

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Speaker 4: can't help myself.

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Speaker 2: I literally can't help myself.

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Speaker 3: You could try to tell me, Adrian, we are going

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Speaker 3: to do a very put together like keep it concise.

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Speaker 3: You know, I'm gonna rattle on. You know, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to be too honest for my own good. You're gonna

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Speaker 3: be like you shouldn't have said that.

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Speaker 2: This is what this is.

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Speaker 4: And we love that about you. Yeah, we love that

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Speaker 4: about you. So I have one of my favorite When

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Speaker 4: we were preparing today, I was like thinking of memories

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Speaker 4: that we haven't we've told the story about, like when

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Speaker 4: we first when I first took you out, when we

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Speaker 4: got you drunk and had to bring you home to

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Speaker 4: your mom's house, and your mother was amazing and so

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Speaker 4: so happy that we brought you home.

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Speaker 3: She was so happy it was with you, and she

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Speaker 3: was so happy that like she has to learn like

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Speaker 3: find out like find out what it's like to drink

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Speaker 3: and this is how you end up. I was so sick,

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Speaker 3: but I learned my lesson.

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Speaker 4: It was because it was bro like you shouldn't have

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Speaker 4: been drinking.

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Speaker 2: We started with almost wana you I should have not

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Speaker 2: let you do, Mama.

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Speaker 3: Juanas we went to Joe's pub. I feel like these

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Speaker 3: are very iconic.

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Speaker 4: Yes, we were in these New York streets.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was amazing.

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Speaker 4: And your mother. I loved your mother's reaction. I think

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Speaker 4: I fell in love with her immediately then, and I

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Speaker 4: have loved been in love with your family ever since.

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Speaker 4: You have a great family. But that was another moment.

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Speaker 4: And when you talk about deaf jam right that time

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Speaker 4: for you, I felt like you had come out of

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Speaker 4: like Cheetah girls and and rel w and all that stuff,

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Speaker 4: and you were like trying to find your own way

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Speaker 4: and your own sound. And yeah, it was not the

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Speaker 4: best fit. It was.

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Speaker 3: I always say that I don't ever want to do

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Speaker 3: my twenties again. I hated my so looking back, it

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Speaker 3: was like the discovery period. But at the same time,

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Speaker 3: I suffer from being a people pleaser, and I really

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Speaker 3: struggled with saying no. I really struggled with wanting to

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Speaker 3: be something I wasn't and trying to figure out what

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Speaker 3: that looked like, what was cool, what was like pretty

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Speaker 3: much just being everything I.

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Speaker 4: Was being as your fan.

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Speaker 3: Pretty much just being told like who I should be

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Speaker 3: or what cool, what sexy looked like, but none of

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Speaker 3: it actually aligned with who I really was, Yeah, with

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Speaker 3: the real met So that was super complicated.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, well, don't you.

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Speaker 4: Think most women, especially in their twenties, are kind of there.

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Speaker 2: Not one hundred percent.

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Speaker 3: I just was doing it on the internet, and it

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Speaker 3: was very frustrating for me. I remember specifically crying in

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Speaker 3: your car and being like, I don't understand. At the

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Speaker 3: time blogs existed, we didn't have social media, we didn't

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Speaker 3: have social media. We didn't have social media like that.

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Speaker 3: I think Twitter just had just started, and that's where

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Speaker 3: we were all doing like our you know, tweets that

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Speaker 3: were like subtweeting to everything and everything that was going

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Speaker 3: on in your life. Of course, please don't go back

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Speaker 3: and read mine from those many years ago. A lot

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Speaker 3: of Dream quotes from his songs. This is so random

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Speaker 3: the things that I remember of that period of time.

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Speaker 3: That was my favorite album at the time. Dream obviously

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Speaker 3: it's incredible writer, and I was even getting songs from him.

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Speaker 3: But now looking back at those songs, funny enough, I

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Speaker 3: found an email maybe a few weeks ago, and me

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Speaker 3: and my husband were in the car.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, should I go back and listen

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Speaker 2: to those songs I made?

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Speaker 1: Then?

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Speaker 2: I was horrified when you heard them?

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Speaker 4: Why what were you singing? I think, I don't want

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Speaker 4: to I tell you the titles. I'm gonna wait till

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Speaker 4: is so he could tell me the titles of these songs.

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Speaker 2: My husband was like, he actually didn't say anything.

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Speaker 3: It was just like driving and I'm DJing what my

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Speaker 3: album would have sounded like, and it is so not

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Speaker 3: who I am today, And honestly, it wasn't who I

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Speaker 3: was then. Yeah, one of the songs was like driving

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Speaker 3: like a Bitch. I think, oh nice.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's one of the titles.

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Speaker 3: They all pretty much had profanity and then they were

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Speaker 3: out of control.

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Speaker 2: But I think I was trying to figure out, like

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Speaker 2: who you were?

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Speaker 3: How do I show that I'm an adult from Cheetah Girls?

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Speaker 3: Like I think everybody has a hard time that I've

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Speaker 3: ever heard of that's done the transition from like Disney

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Speaker 3: young actress or singer. How do you then show what

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Speaker 3: I'm a grown woman I'm now without.

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Speaker 2: Without driving like a bitch. It just is what it is.

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Speaker 3: So I just remember being like, I have to be

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Speaker 3: super badass. I have to show that I'm an adult.

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Speaker 3: I have to not be cheah girls. I have to

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Speaker 3: show that I'm really sexy.

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Speaker 2: And while.

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Speaker 3: I think I felt sexy at that time, I think

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Speaker 3: how I went about it was just so wrong, and

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Speaker 3: we knew. I cried to you, and I remember you

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Speaker 3: just being like, stop doing these things that that's not

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Speaker 3: who you are. Like, if you don't want people to

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Speaker 3: judge you this way, then you actually have to not

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Speaker 3: do these things that are making you be viewed this way.

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Speaker 3: If you don't want blogs to say, oh you're you're

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Speaker 3: a hoe, you have.

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Speaker 2: To sit back for a secon to go.

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Speaker 3: Am I doing? And you said and if you're not,

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Speaker 3: then that's their problem, which I loved. I loved that

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Speaker 3: you actually were like, if that's not at all, if

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Speaker 3: you don't feel you're giving them anything that could give

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Speaker 3: them that inclination, then you have to stand with that,

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Speaker 3: and you should be at peace with that. The problem

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Speaker 3: was I wasn't at peace because I wasn't being true

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Speaker 3: to myself.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that you were that. I don't know,

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Speaker 4: just that you're that you found that clarity for yourself,

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Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying, and that, Yeah, but it

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Speaker 4: takes a second for everybody. Shit, if I would have

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Speaker 4: run down some of the stuff I was doing in.

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Speaker 2: My twenties, my god, eg, yeah, you couldn't pay me

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Speaker 2: to do the things that we did. Then Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: think Greenhouse.

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Speaker 3: I think in a cubicle like a lot of people drinking,

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Speaker 3: Like I'm shocked that, Like I really enjoyed that at

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Speaker 3: that time, And then I'm like did I.

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Speaker 2: It's a it's a weird thing.

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Speaker 3: I think when you're older, you still have to remember,

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Speaker 3: because I know I have a son and I have

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Speaker 3: to now remember, like why did I like it? What

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Speaker 3: was it so that I don't catch amnesian and be like.

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Speaker 4: You're gonna catch am nature. We all do it. We

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Speaker 4: can't help it. We can't help it. But around that

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Speaker 4: time you were making this music that you said it

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Speaker 4: was you were like not connecting to you were like forcing.

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Speaker 4: So whenever you force something so forced, but whenever anybody

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Speaker 4: forces anything, the result is never It's just not a fit.

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Speaker 4: It's like if you're going against what your journey or

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Speaker 4: your path is supposed to be. That's why they say

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Speaker 4: what was for you is for you. What's not for you,

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Speaker 4: it's just not gonna happen because it ain't for you.

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Speaker 4: So I think because you were in that space, you

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Speaker 4: were getting a lot of pushback about your voice, right, yes.

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Speaker 4: And I remember thinking because I had heard you singing

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Speaker 4: in Spanish before, and I was we were going to

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Speaker 4: the Puerto Rican Day Parade, and you were like down

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Speaker 4: about the criticism about your voice because you had been

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Speaker 4: trying to make this music that wasn't really a fit

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Speaker 4: for you. And I was like, yo, hey, coming me

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Speaker 4: to the Puerto Rican Day Parade, you should sing the

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Speaker 4: national anthem. And I remember you updated and your it

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Speaker 4: was your mom or your sister. My mom was there

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Speaker 4: and she was like, thank you for letting her do this.

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Speaker 2: I was like, she's so good, right, She was like

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Speaker 2: she's so.

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Speaker 4: Good, Like you were just up there killing it. And

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Speaker 4: so both of us had that moment. And then and

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Speaker 4: I knew you loved La India. I heard you sing

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Speaker 4: her songs, and so I so somebody had told me

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Speaker 4: that India I was a few things floats behind us.

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Speaker 2: What I would do to find that footage?

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Speaker 4: I know.

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00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,400
Speaker 2: So if you have that footage, can.

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Speaker 4: You somebody get in touch with us? So I say

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Speaker 4: to Adrian, I know you want to meet her. She's

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Speaker 4: a few floats back. Do you want to go? No? No, no,

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Speaker 4: no no no no no no. And then they're telling me, hey,

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Speaker 4: the float we're getting ready to leave in a few minutes.

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Speaker 4: I was like, we could do it.

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Speaker 2: Come on, just come.

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Speaker 4: Adrian jumps off the float. I grab her hand. We

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Speaker 4: were running down the street and we ran to her

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Speaker 4: her thing and she was lovely to you? Right? Was

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Speaker 4: she not lovely to me?

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Speaker 3: I'm bawling my eyes out to meet her, which is

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Speaker 3: so like you know, you want to be cool when

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Speaker 3: you meet your idols, but I whould not contain myself.

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Speaker 2: It was the Puerto Rican day prayed and it was

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Speaker 2: lying the okay I was.

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Speaker 3: It was so good, And to be honest, it was

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Speaker 3: like both of my idols standing there.

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Speaker 2: You know that you I have looked.

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Speaker 4: I know you love me.

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Speaker 2: I know ever you deserve your flowers. I have emo problems.

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Speaker 3: You know that cry today but for real, for real,

357
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Speaker 3: like even when we're talking about that time in my life,

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Speaker 3: like I just did something for the Boys and Girls

359
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Speaker 3: Club and they're like, well, who was your mentor? And

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00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,920
Speaker 3: I'm like the only person that could have came to

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Speaker 3: my mind was you. And I'm like, you really took

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00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,760
Speaker 3: me under your wing. You looked out for me. I

363
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Speaker 3: was clueless. Clearly I knew.

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Speaker 4: I'm telling you, I've been in the same place, so

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Speaker 4: I knew where you were at.

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Speaker 3: And I just was like to be able to have

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Speaker 3: someone that I've listened to my whole life on the

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Speaker 3: radio also be there in a car and like hold

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Speaker 3: my hand and be like you're gonna get it together.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna figure this out. And you have always been

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Speaker 3: that for me. So I'm grateful.

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Speaker 4: I love you.

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Speaker 2: You're amazing.

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Speaker 4: The point of that story for me is thank you.

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Speaker 4: My point of the story now, I love that. That

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00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,040
Speaker 4: makes me very proud. So I always feel this sense

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00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,280
Speaker 4: of pride for you when you were because I know

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Speaker 4: the road that you have been on and how you

379
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,520
Speaker 4: have not and you kept going, kept going. But so

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00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,360
Speaker 4: we have that moment at the parade you met her.

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00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:20,480
Speaker 4: It was great. Fast forward a few years later, Yes,

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Speaker 4: you got a chance to run out on stage with her.

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Speaker 3: When I tell you one of the greatest moments of

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Speaker 3: my life. And all I look back is say, why

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Speaker 3: didn't I do a different outfit or something?

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Speaker 4: I don't That's so stupid because I don't even remember

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Speaker 4: the outfit.

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Speaker 3: Girl, I don't even have a lash on. Okay, so

389
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,480
Speaker 3: there wasn't even a lash to cry off while meeting her.

390
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,080
Speaker 2: But I went to.

391
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,880
Speaker 3: Aligndia concert because is is really good friends with Bobby

392
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Speaker 3: Allende who plays for her and he has actually musical director, right, babe,

393
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:51,280
Speaker 3: something like that.

394
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,480
Speaker 4: Okay, it's too late. We should have brought him in already,

395
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,840
Speaker 4: So we just bring this in now. Yes, I wanted

396
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,680
Speaker 4: to lead up to you how you found love and

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Speaker 4: then this.

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Speaker 2: Because Lord knows it was a struggle before we bring him.

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Speaker 4: Don't come? Is Are you going to be comfortable talking

400
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,200
Speaker 4: about uh life before? Yes?

401
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:09,760
Speaker 1: I don't.

402
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:16,840
Speaker 3: Everything right that is in detail? Okay, So without further ado, without.

403
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 4: Further ado, the other half her Adrian's purpose partner that

404
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:26,000
Speaker 4: I love that the amazing, enjoying.

405
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,840
Speaker 2: I want to get you a chair, Get you a chair? Literally?

406
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:31,439
Speaker 2: What is wrong with me?

407
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:36,720
Speaker 3: I swear since becoming a mom, I'm like Oh my god, cry,

408
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,760
Speaker 3: I'm trying to get it to Doug life for a

409
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:39,720
Speaker 3: very long time.

410
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Speaker 4: I feel like.

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Speaker 1: More email.

412
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,240
Speaker 4: I waited to bring you. I should have brought you

413
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,040
Speaker 4: from the beginning. Is the crazy thing is I was

414
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,720
Speaker 4: going to wait to bring you in. Okay, I want

415
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,240
Speaker 4: to get back to this line the story. I was

416
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,480
Speaker 4: there that night, and I want your take on this moment.

417
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:59,320
Speaker 4: But I I wanted to bring you in at a

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Speaker 4: point where we can talk about how she got to

419
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 4: the point where she was ready for you. But I

420
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,800
Speaker 4: think we could actually do that together. Which is I

421
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:12,399
Speaker 4: love that that is such a testament to It is

422
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:16,200
Speaker 4: such a testament to the relationship and the honest relationship

423
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,239
Speaker 4: that you have built, which to me, we could talk

424
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,040
Speaker 4: about her accolades all day, right, but it's like the

425
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:25,560
Speaker 4: family that she's created is really the greatest accomplishment, right,

426
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,200
Speaker 4: no question. And she doesn't And that's not you alone.

427
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,960
Speaker 4: I mean obviously that the two of you have put it,

428
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,480
Speaker 4: you haven't managed to create it.

429
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:36,440
Speaker 1: It's mostly her, if I'm honest. Stop No, I mean

430
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,399
Speaker 1: it has been a labor of love together, but the

431
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,000
Speaker 1: labor is only just the work you put in every day.

432
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,280
Speaker 1: It hasn't felt like this is laborious, this is a drag.

433
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 1: This feels like every day is some kind of adventure.

434
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 1: And I'm saying that having gone through those six years

435
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:56,320
Speaker 1: of IVF, which were not ever pleasant, Like they were

436
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,680
Speaker 1: never pleasant until you got the good news. Then you

437
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 1: hold onto that good news for a few days only

438
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:07,240
Speaker 1: to receive we have to try again, and even then,

439
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,800
Speaker 1: like the love the like you've heard us talk about

440
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 1: that before, Like it's important to like the person.

441
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 2: You love that that how much.

442
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:17,560
Speaker 4: Do you like her?

443
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Speaker 1: I mean, she came into my life, by the way,

444
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,880
Speaker 1: when I was separated, I was going through a divorce.

445
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,720
Speaker 1: I was pretty miserable. I remember telling her I'm never

446
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 1: gonna get married again. I'm clearly terrible at this. I

447
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,920
Speaker 1: suck at this. And she's like, you're gonna get married again?

448
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,879
Speaker 1: And she sent me on dates with friends of hers

449
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,880
Speaker 1: to try and prove that the story that is. That's

450
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,160
Speaker 1: not the answer to your question.

451
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 4: But what kind of who did you say about the

452
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,880
Speaker 4: date with I want an old lady?

453
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's another podcast.

454
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 2: Some of them actually were at my wedding.

455
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 4: W but I never that went well.

456
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you gotta understand like when we became friends,

457
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,800
Speaker 1: I couldn't help. But I think the more I got

458
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,400
Speaker 1: around her, especially in circles with friends and that sort

459
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:03,680
Speaker 1: of thing, people would tell me, hey, you're like, you're

460
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,120
Speaker 1: mesmerized by this woman, like close your mouth or something.

461
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 1: And it wasn't about her obvious beauty. She's obviously beautiful,

462
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 1: but like for for a guy who's like, I'm never

463
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 1: getting married again, which means I'm not going to bother

464
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 1: her with dating, is kind of where I was thinking.

465
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 1: And I'm not, like, I'm not. I wasn't even throwing

466
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:24,120
Speaker 1: it like that. I wasn't even putting it out there.

467
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,400
Speaker 1: Like I just saw that she was magic.

468
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:27,439
Speaker 4: She would walk.

469
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,840
Speaker 1: Into a room and the room would sort of tilt

470
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 1: in her direction, and I'm like, she just she's funny,

471
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:39,160
Speaker 1: she's she's down home. You could talk about faith with her,

472
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,720
Speaker 1: but you could talk about ratchet things at the same time.

473
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:46,199
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what is this new? What is this

474
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 1: stewing corn? And I think I think we have a

475
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,160
Speaker 1: mutual friend who basically, you know, we sort of confided

476
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,919
Speaker 1: in like I think I like her. She's like I

477
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 1: think I like him, and she's like just try and

478
00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 1: and in the try. We knew immediately like, oh this

479
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 1: is this is it.

480
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:03,400
Speaker 2: I knew.

481
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,920
Speaker 3: I liked him so much that it was like Jared said,

482
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,879
Speaker 3: if you guys don't end up together, this will be

483
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 3: the saddest love story of all time. Because I liked

484
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,439
Speaker 3: him so much and I still I still say this,

485
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:22,399
Speaker 3: like I like you, like obviously I love you and

486
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,119
Speaker 3: I'm in love with you. But you know, when you

487
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:25,919
Speaker 3: talk to people about marriage, the main thing they'll tell

488
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 3: you is like it's ebb and flow.

489
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,119
Speaker 2: It's eb and flow.

490
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 3: I always like you, though, I like the person that

491
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 3: you are. I like talking to you, Like even if

492
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 3: I'm mad at you, I still want to come tell

493
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 3: you what's going on. I still want to be mad

494
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,399
Speaker 3: at other people with you.

495
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,879
Speaker 1: You know, preface, Like I'm so mad at you, but

496
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,359
Speaker 1: I got to tell you the coolest thing.

497
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,159
Speaker 3: That happened, like and that is just the truth. Like,

498
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,959
Speaker 3: I really like you. But he's made me a better person.

499
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 3: He's made me a better person in so many different ways.

500
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 3: I think that I was always guarded in a way

501
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 3: of like I think when you're raised in New York City,

502
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,159
Speaker 3: you never want to come off thirst and you never

503
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 3: want to be like annoying to people, or I have

504
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 3: this thing that he says is like, what do you

505
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:07,679
Speaker 3: say about my embarrassment?

506
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 2: He's like, what is embarrassment costs you? Everything?

507
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 1: Make as one day? Like how much do you think

508
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 1: it has cost you? Like embarrassment has cost you? Actual

509
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 1: money has cost you? What do you think a lot?

510
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 3: Because I won't like send an email or I won't

511
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 3: because that to me would be thirsty. Like there's a

512
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 3: lot of things that I in my head, or I

513
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 3: won't if there's somebody that I'm a huge fan of

514
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 3: and I want to walk up to them and be like, Hi,

515
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 3: I just want you to know that I'm a cute right,

516
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 3: Like I just won't do things like that. I could

517
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 3: have a whole conversation with my husband at home and

518
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,679
Speaker 3: say how much I love you, Angie, how much I'm

519
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 3: thinking about you, And I won't send that text message

520
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,400
Speaker 3: to you because I'm like, gotta be kind of weird.

521
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,160
Speaker 3: He made me be like, because that's who you are,

522
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 3: is we'll think of you and text you. Is this

523
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 3: the kind of person that's like who cares if they

524
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 3: think it's corny? Like call that person and tell them, Hey,

525
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 3: I was just talking about you. I want you to

526
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,880
Speaker 3: know I love you, I appreciate you. I think you're

527
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 3: an amazing person, Like I never saw that in action,

528
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 3: and he is that person and he's made me want

529
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 3: to be that person. He's generous, he's fun, he's funny,

530
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 3: he's You're very silly, which people don't get to see.

531
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,879
Speaker 3: He's very funny, very silly, very playful with me. I

532
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 3: think I probably dated guys that were too cool for everything,

533
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 3: and I realized I really don't like that. I want

534
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 3: someone that's just gonna love me for me and that

535
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 3: I don't have to put on some like extra cool

536
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 3: air to be around them.

537
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 4: But did you know that? Because that's the thing that

538
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 4: when I think about people who are looking for love

539
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 4: right who are single out there or maybe divorced, and

540
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 4: think I'm never gonna get married again, Like how important

541
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:50,880
Speaker 4: is it to know what you need or are looking.

542
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:55,159
Speaker 3: For that that I don't think that I would have

543
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 3: known I needed you and the person that you are

544
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 3: had I not dated did people who I didn't get

545
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 3: that from and that I wanted that from?

546
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,439
Speaker 2: Does that make sense? Like you literally could be.

547
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 3: With someone and be like I always tell you, I'd

548
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 3: be like I feel like I forced a lot of things,

549
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 3: or like I would ask for attention. I never had

550
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 3: to ask that of you because you gave it freely

551
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 3: things that I wanted, or like I would love to

552
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 3: have a family, or i'd love I'm a family person.

553
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 2: You know this. I want to hang out with my

554
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 2: family all the time.

555
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 3: I never have to ask is like can we go

556
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,639
Speaker 3: hang out with my family, or that we're there and

557
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 3: you're like, we already hung out with your family yesterday.

558
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,479
Speaker 3: You know, like, instead he'll be like, babe, I think

559
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 3: there's a game tonight, or there's a fight, Let's go

560
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 3: over to Clauden Jers.

561
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 2: You know, like.

562
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 3: I I needed someone that was family oriented because those

563
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 3: things matter to me. So I think finding your own

564
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 3: values and what really matters to you is important, and

565
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 3: finding someone that cares about those things as well is

566
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 3: super important.

567
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 4: Did you look for that? It just landed.

568
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 3: No, it landed, and I needed to pay attention to

569
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 3: because I could have taken it for granted. Yeah, and

570
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 3: because I didn't have it before, I was able to go, wait,

571
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:08,880
Speaker 3: this is different.

572
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't have to And there's no game playing.

573
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god, did I hate the game playing?

574
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 3: Of Like who's gonna text each other first, Who's gonna

575
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,199
Speaker 3: like You're just not that person. You're like, we're not

576
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 3: doing that. Like this is how I feel about you.

577
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,239
Speaker 3: You know what it is if you ever feel if

578
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,440
Speaker 3: you want to ask me something, if you feel uncomfortable

579
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 3: about something, like we can talk about it.

580
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 2: And I never had.

581
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 3: It was always always felt kind of like a game,

582
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 3: like like I had to keep a wall up.

583
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

584
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,920
Speaker 4: How much of that is other people? Or was that

585
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:40,360
Speaker 4: you too?

586
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 3: Like, oh, for sure it was me too, because I

587
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,640
Speaker 3: think at some point you think that game is enticing.

588
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 2: You're like, ooh, mystery the.

589
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 3: Game, and then you're like oh, then you're like, ooh,

590
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 3: I'm so sad, you know, Like then you wake up

591
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 3: one day and you're like, yo, he really doesn't like me,

592
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 3: like I think the person I or though nothing worse

593
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 3: than being like I'm in love with someone I don't like, Wow,

594
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 3: and I've been there. I've been in love with someone

595
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 3: and then I look at that's a whole other conversation.

596
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:13,399
Speaker 3: I highly recommend reading the book The Five Love Languages.

597
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 3: There's a whole beginning of it that talks about the

598
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 3: actual chemical experience of falling in love, and oxytocin in

599
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 3: our body produces this and it only lasts up to

600
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 3: about two years if kept in private, possibly three. And

601
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 3: once that actual chemical reaction or the experience of being

602
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 3: in love goes away, it becomes a choice. Things that

603
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 3: never would have bothered you before are going to bother you.

604
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 3: Things that you never would have noticed of, like bad

605
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 3: chewing or those things never bothered me, But I know

606
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 3: there are people that those things drive them crazy, that

607
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 3: will now drive you insane. Don't true bad, I got

608
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,880
Speaker 3: here's a bad schuor it would be me you.

609
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: Yes, They're not bad, not bad.

610
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 2: But I just look like a little squirrel harvesting food

611
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 2: in my mouth.

612
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 1: Let me get into you for oh lord, okay, okay,

613
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: because I.

614
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 4: Didn't know the younger you. I didn't know you in

615
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 4: a in a marriage that didn't work, or what that did,

616
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,680
Speaker 4: what that did to you, or the mistakes that you made,

617
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 4: Like how A's saying, you know, I had to date

618
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 4: people and them not like me, or I realized, like

619
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,679
Speaker 4: what are what as a man? What are some of

620
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 4: the lessons about love that.

621
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: You What are some of the lessons about love? I think, Yeah, again,

622
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,919
Speaker 1: I have to look at life this way. I was

623
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 1: in a I was in a meeting one time and uh,

624
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 1: a pastor was asked, Hey, you've been in ministry this long.

625
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 1: Is there anything you would go back and change? And

626
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 1: he was like, he laughed, sort of reared back and laughed,

627
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 1: and when he came back to give his answer, his

628
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 1: whole countenance changed and he said, if I would change anything,

629
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 1: it would change everything. And I remember when he said it,

630
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: it like shot through my body, like like you know

631
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 1: when you hear a certain thing. I'll never forget that

632
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 1: because I go my whole life is the sum total

633
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 1: of some good decisions, some really colossal bad decisions, and

634
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: then just putting in the work every day. And that's

635
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,919
Speaker 1: you know, failures and successes all rolled into one. But

636
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 1: I wouldn't change anything because out of that, I have

637
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:22,880
Speaker 1: beautiful children, you know, I have some rough marriage, you know,

638
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 1: memories and experiences, some of my own doing, you know.

639
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 1: But all that to say, I'm grateful for sort of

640
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 1: the first half of my life. It was a lot

641
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 1: of work, it was a lot of sort of pursuing

642
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:44,719
Speaker 1: my career, and I really really, really really really enjoy

643
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 1: this season of my life now, I say best friend.

644
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 3: Know if I would have wanted to date him when

645
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,719
Speaker 3: he was pursuing a career, And that's honest, Like, I

646
00:28:55,760 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 3: don't know, if I.

647
00:28:58,520 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 4: I don't know.

648
00:28:59,120 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 2: I think.

649
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 3: I'm really grateful that God orchestrated us to meet when

650
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 3: we met, because I probably needed attention. I needed what

651
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 3: I guess I had always wanted, which was like someone

652
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 3: to pour into me and just like dote on me

653
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 3: and love on me. I needed that at that time.

654
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 3: And I also needed.

655
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 2: Time, like we spent a lot of time together.

656
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 3: And I don't know, I realistically don't know if someone

657
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 3: was still pursuing like a career or going after that,

658
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 3: if that would have worked.

659
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 2: Does that make sense?

660
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 4: Really?

661
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's honest and realistic.

662
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 4: God's timon Yeah.

663
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 1: I think so for sure. And I needed to feel

664
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 1: like I had a partner, you know, that that matched

665
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:45,719
Speaker 1: energy and vibes and fun, et cetera, dreams, passions. And

666
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 1: when we met it was like, well, when we got married,

667
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 1: we knew right away like everything we do we're going

668
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 1: to do together. And it was just the most I mean,

669
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 1: even she's a star, she does her things, and I'm

670
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 1: going to be on the side awarding every single thing,

671
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: and she does the same for me and it's the

672
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 1: greatest And then the few things we get to do together,

673
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 1: like this corrito's thing we've just done, like it's so

674
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 1: rewarding every day. Side note, we do not argue in life,

675
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: what do you mean, unless we're working together.

676
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 3: We argue about that, like that's what we argue about.

677
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 3: Like now, we'll argue about that now. But it's so

678
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 3: crazy because even looking back, one of the things that

679
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 3: made me fall in love with him was definitely realizing

680
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 3: that for the first time, I think ever in my

681
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 3: love life, I met somebody that knew like the way

682
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 3: I grew up. And what I mean by that is

683
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 3: like my church life that I was like raised Pentecostal,

684
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:45,200
Speaker 3: that I grew up singing corritos.

685
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 2: You need to imagine, do you remember when I lived.

686
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 4: Somebody who doesn't know whatrios is?

687
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 2: Okay?

688
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 3: Coritos are pretty much like old school hymns, but they're

689
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 3: in Spanish. They're so old that they don't even have publishing,

690
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 3: Like there's no writers on them. They're just songs that

691
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 3: kind of repeat over and over. And if you grew

692
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 3: up in a Latino Pentecostal church. They are like the classics,

693
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:08,719
Speaker 3: like everyone knows to sing them. They kind of end

694
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 3: up being in medley form. You go from one song

695
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 3: to another and Loki people will be like, like, you

696
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 3: went to that second song and I grew up singing

697
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 3: Corriito's my whole life. And I remember being on the

698
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 3: balcony at my apartment across from the grove, and like

699
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 3: we were sitting there. I don't know what was happening,

700
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 3: some kind of a party or something, and I don't

701
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 3: know what grditho.

702
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 2: I started singing, what song was it?

703
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 1: No ideals? I think, no idea.

704
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 3: And you literally said no, no, no, no, And I

705
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 3: was like, wait a second.

706
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: What.

707
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 2: I'm like, how do you know Corritos?

708
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 4: Because this is not Latino, which people might think exactly my.

709
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, you're messing up my Like my, my, my,

710
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 1: what honorary Puerto Rican status that I've been given?

711
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 2: But I'm not gonna lie. When I first met Israel,

712
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 2: I thought he was perto Rican.

713
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 3: First of all, the name Israel super common in Puerto Rico,

714
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 3: so I was like, oh, he's definitely Latino of some sort.

715
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 3: And he sings in Spanish and like you get the point.

716
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 3: With all that being said, he literally grew up in

717
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 3: a Latino community in a Latino church, so they saw

718
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 3: the songs in a white family.

719
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, so a black kid, white family. All my friends

720
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 1: were Hispanic, All my friends were by my stepfather. I was,

721
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 1: but my I was raised with my mother. My mother's white.

722
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: My father was black. My mother's still white. Amazing. Wow,

723
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 1: she's holding on.

724
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 3: She makes some bomb uh food food, she makes bomb Mexicans.

725
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 2: He's from Santa Fe, New Mexico.

726
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 4: Got it, So a little bit of Latino.

727
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, always was around. So when we I think that's

728
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,719
Speaker 1: really when we fell in love. We started harmonizing on

729
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 1: the porch. She's like, Okay, that's my guy.

730
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 2: But I know that that sounds really funny.

731
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 3: But imagine someone connecting with something that is so poor

732
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 3: who you are as a person that was your whole upbringing,

733
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 3: your whole childhood, and this person goes, I see you.

734
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: And that's how I felt in that moment, Like I

735
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:12,719
Speaker 3: was like, wait, you know that, like culturally you know this, and.

736
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 2: That was just like amazing to me.

737
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 4: What is the song?

738
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 2: No ideal?

739
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 4: No no no no I and oh would you not

740
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 4: fall in love?

741
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 2: Would you not you look.

742
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:30,720
Speaker 1: Yeah.

743
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 2: I was literally just like, wait, but you know this

744
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 2: part of me.

745
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 3: Also, if you really know me, you know I'm super

746
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 3: faith based, Like I love God. God plays a huge

747
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 3: part in everything I've ever done. And I felt like

748
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 3: for the first time I was in a relationship where

749
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 3: I could be like, can you pray with me?

750
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 2: And it wasn't weird, you know, and I needed that.

751
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna tell you the craziest story, so loaded

752
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:57,720
Speaker 1: that up. I didn't pray for her the first time,

753
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: the first time we ever prayed together, she prayed for me.

754
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's crazy. I told her, this is

755
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 1: what's going on my life. It's bad if once the

756
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 1: world finds out I'm just my life is over and

757
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 1: my career it's where I was at, yes, and my

758
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 1: livelihood was attached to whether people thought I was a

759
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 1: Christian or not, you know, or a superhuman Christian by

760
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:24,400
Speaker 1: the way, like a super Christian. And I expected her

761
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: and what I shared with her was like embarrassing and

762
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 1: painful and all that. And I expected her to go, see, oh, y'all,

763
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 1: you know, I expected her to just go all guys

764
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 1: are the same. And she leaned across the table and

765
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 1: she grabbed my hand and she just started praying for me.

766
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 1: This is when we're still friends, and I mean I

767
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:52,320
Speaker 1: sobbed at that little table and she just basically said, God,

768
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,919
Speaker 1: please help this man know that he's not what he's done.

769
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 1: And I think even that, like anybody listening right now

770
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,959
Speaker 1: or watching right now, we need to understand, like again,

771
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 1: if I change anything would change everything. We are not

772
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:08,759
Speaker 1: what we've done. We are the sum total of what

773
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 1: we inherited out of the womb, what we've dealt with

774
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,800
Speaker 1: in the community we grew up in, or the church

775
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,839
Speaker 1: trauma that some people have had to actually deal with.

776
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 1: That's a real thing. And yet here we are, both

777
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: years into our life on the other side of that going.

778
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 1: All of that wasn't working against us. All of that

779
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 1: was serving to make us who we are now. And

780
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,879
Speaker 1: the evolution that I've seen in her life. And here's

781
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: what's wild when she talks about church. For her, it's

782
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: this beautiful like foundational pillars always been that, and for

783
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 1: me it has as well. And there was a lot

784
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 1: of trauma, but that's because I was sort of in

785
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 1: the family business of.

786
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,320
Speaker 3: Chanch that life pastor and I think that's just a

787
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 3: different dynamic for sure, But that's so weird. I never

788
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 3: would That's how I know moments like that are God

789
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 3: because that's not my natural instinct. My natural instinct is

790
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 3: not to be like, let me pray for you. My

791
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,759
Speaker 3: natural instinct would have been to be like, oh, no,

792
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 3: this is exactly I know.

793
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,319
Speaker 4: This about you, Yause your biggest fear used to be

794
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 4: when you're dating. Yeah, you know what you used to

795
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,839
Speaker 4: always be afraid of you were dating, that somebody would

796
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 4: cheat on you.

797
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 3: Oh, not just my biggest fear, but again that's attached

798
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 3: to my embarrassment and what that would do to my ego.

799
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:27,880
Speaker 2: And that's just so like, like that's heartbreaking.

800
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 3: But also because I had gone through that before, my

801
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 3: biggest fear was someone cheating because that to me was

802
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,440
Speaker 3: saying that I wasn't good enough that you know, we

803
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 3: all want to believe that like I'm the one for you,

804
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 3: and that would be proof that I'm I'm not the

805
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 3: one for I mean, there's so much I've delved into

806
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 3: it because to be honest, it's still is a very

807
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 3: real thing for me.

808
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 2: Like that to me would be the end.

809
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:57,799
Speaker 3: Like that, that to me is like game over. Yeah,

810
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 3: So to really believe that I know that and I've

811
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 3: preached that on the real and to be that person

812
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 3: and then marry someone who has been that didn't make

813
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:09,320
Speaker 3: sense to me at all in my logical mind.

814
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 2: But in that moment, I don't know.

815
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 3: That's how I know it was God because in that

816
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,839
Speaker 3: moment I literally reached over and was like praying for him,

817
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 3: and I held him and I was just like, I

818
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 3: love you, Like you don't have to be that, like

819
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,240
Speaker 3: that's not it's just so wild.

820
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 2: Like I just was like, I love you. I love

821
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 2: you flawed.

822
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 3: I get that you're so honest and transparent with me

823
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,319
Speaker 3: right now in this moment, and I get that, but

824
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 3: I still love you. And if we can't be the

825
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 3: grace of God that what I want from God is grace.

826
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 3: I ask for grace every morning. I want that mercy

827
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 3: and that grace. I pray that I can be that

828
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:50,320
Speaker 3: for if anything, the person I married, you know, Wow,

829
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 3: if I could be, I feel like I'm very gracious.

830
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 2: Now.

831
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:58,719
Speaker 1: You're the greatest for real, And I think people that

832
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,439
Speaker 1: would would watch hours of footage of the real would

833
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 1: think there's no way that would be her take on

834
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 1: you know something that is adjacent to the biggest fear

835
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 1: of her life. And of course this is before we're dating.

836
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 1: But it's also a warning like, hey man, if we're

837
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 1: doing this, like, please know where I stand on this.

838
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 1: But I say all the time, Adrian epitomizes. Can I

839
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 1: say epitomizes? Is there a better word? Adrian is the

840
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:28,359
Speaker 1: example of God's grace to me? Like when somebody goes,

841
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,320
Speaker 1: what does grace look like? I go, looks like my wife,

842
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 1: A lot like my wife, just because she's the real thing.

843
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 1: She's consistent. She gives grace to those who don't deserve it.

844
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,879
Speaker 1: She shows mercy to those who haven't earned it.

845
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 4: What does that do to you as a man, though,

846
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 4: Because like if you think about who you were back

847
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 4: then versus so, and of course you make mistakes, you

848
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 4: pray on and you pray together and God leads you

849
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 4: down the road that you're supposed to be on. But

850
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 4: there has to be also actual ways in which you

851
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 4: change your thinking, maybe you change impulses. I'm just wondering what,

852
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 4: because I don't know. When we whenever we share stories,

853
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 4: I always think where they land in the world, And sure,

854
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:10,359
Speaker 4: who needs to hear them?

855
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 1: Sure?

856
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 2: And I think about you change you.

857
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think about a couple, or I think

858
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 4: about a woman who's trying to decide if she gives

859
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 4: the man that she's with grace. How how do you

860
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 4: know when the man that you were with deserves that grace?

861
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 4: I guess prayer is helpful to many, But I just

862
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,320
Speaker 4: wonder what would it need? What would it be about

863
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,839
Speaker 4: that man that that would like? What would that man

864
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,959
Speaker 4: need to do to be a different version of himself? Hey, guys,

865
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 4: it's Angie. Thank you so much for watching the pod.

866
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 4: There's so much happening in real life. I cannot even

867
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 4: believe that summer is over already. For me. In real life,

868
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 4: the changing of the season means I am kind of

869
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 4: refreshing my home. I'm like taking all the summer stuff

870
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 4: out of my closet, which means I need some bins,

871
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:57,359
Speaker 4: I need some hangers, some just easy things to make

872
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 4: me feel like I got a fresh closet ready for

873
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 4: ready for the new season. All things that I can

874
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 4: get on Wayfair. I just ordered these doorknobs from my

875
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 4: place that are like this, Matt Black changes the look

876
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:11,919
Speaker 4: of the room just changing a doorknob super easy. Got

877
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 4: them on Wayfair. They have some different every space at

878
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 4: every budget, and delivery is free and super easy. Because

879
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 4: for me, I don't have time to be running around

880
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 4: trying to find things to freshen up my home. When

881
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 4: I have like a little downtime thirty minutes, I can

882
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 4: hop online, make a great card at Wayfair and get

883
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 4: everything I need to feel fresh in my home in

884
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,359
Speaker 4: real life. So if you want to get organized, refreshed

885
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 4: back to a routine for way less, you can do

886
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 4: that at Wayfair. That's wayfair dot com. Right now you

887
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 4: can go and shop all things home Wayfair, every style,

888
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 4: every home.

889
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 1: Does that mean this is great? I mean I think

890
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 1: that man would have to be willing to put real

891
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 1: work in real self reflection, in have to listen to

892
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 1: some difficult truth.

893
00:40:55,960 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 2: We feel love therapy therapy does Yeah? I love that

894
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 2: about him.

895
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: And I mean to just go and have permission to go.

896
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:08,840
Speaker 1: None of this makes sense, So let me dump it

897
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: all out, help me sort through it. And somebody actually

898
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,320
Speaker 1: gets paid a wage to do that. That's pretty amazing.

899
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take advantage of it. But we just had

900
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,359
Speaker 1: like a little drive up the Hudson the other day

901
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 1: and we sat down, had this great meal, and the

902
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: meal was going great. We're laughing all day, and she's like,

903
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 1: let's talk about boom. And it's like, oh, okay, here's

904
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: where it gets, here's the real of it, and what

905
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 1: is it gonna take. It's gonna take a partner to go,

906
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:40,319
Speaker 1: let's talk about that, let's actually talk about it, and

907
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 1: let's drill down. And it's gonna suck for a minute.

908
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 1: But what is known before this conversation ever happens is

909
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:49,320
Speaker 1: that I like you, I love you, you like me, you

910
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:52,360
Speaker 1: love me. And this is a part of changing the oil.

911
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,280
Speaker 1: This is a part of the maintenance of this vehicle

912
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:58,760
Speaker 1: called love and life and marriage and household that we've got,

913
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 1: and we got it, change it from time to time.

914
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,799
Speaker 1: We gotta do the maintenance on it. We gotta be

915
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:09,600
Speaker 1: willing to do the uncomfortable stuff. And to anybody, I

916
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:13,800
Speaker 1: probably represent any sort of middle aged you know, African

917
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:18,879
Speaker 1: American insecure life is coming at all directions. The world

918
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,919
Speaker 1: is on fire, feels like, you know, everything's upside down,

919
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 1: and to just go, okay, what is real anymore? What

920
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 1: matters anymore? Let me lock into that. Let me lock

921
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: into that with this person. Let me let everything else

922
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: fall off and just be and when you can have

923
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:36,879
Speaker 1: the person that goes I'm going to walk with you

924
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 1: as you just be and figure it out and change

925
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: and evolve. I got you. You know you're winning, but

926
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: it does take the work. Everybody listening has to do.

927
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 2: The work though, too. I think. I then I always

928
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:58,319
Speaker 2: say this.

929
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 3: I'm like, someone can tell you they want to change,

930
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 3: but what are they actively doing to change? Accountability for

931
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,719
Speaker 3: me is the number one thing. The second thing I

932
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 3: would say is how have you changed? And do I

933
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 3: see a change? Whether it's not like you see somebody

934
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 3: actively going to therapy, if you ask the person, well,

935
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 3: why did it end up at this in that place?

936
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 3: I think for you, a lot of times you'd be

937
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 3: honest and saying he wasn't like you. You still have

938
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 3: a hard time, Like if I come to you and

939
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:27,760
Speaker 3: I tell you how am I doing as a wife

940
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 3: and we have these really honest conversations. We used to

941
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,800
Speaker 3: do baths and we'd get in the bath and be like, Okay,

942
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 3: this is the things I liked this week. Love that

943
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 3: you did this, but like almost like low key, like

944
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 3: a report card, but not like that, just a good

945
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 3: conversation and we'd be like, if ever I'm doing something

946
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 3: that really bothers you or that is a turn off

947
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:49,760
Speaker 3: for you, I need you to be honest and vocal

948
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,359
Speaker 3: about that. You're gonna you might hurt my feelings now.

949
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 3: I'd rather hurt my feelings now than that we're twenty

950
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,760
Speaker 3: years from now, You're not in love with me anymore,

951
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,320
Speaker 3: and I have to have that far to you.

952
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,800
Speaker 2: That'll hurt my feelings way worse.

953
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:03,239
Speaker 3: Than you being like, Babe, this thing you do is

954
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 3: like kind of unattractive to me, or like I don't

955
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 3: like that, or I wish you did whatever that is.

956
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 3: Let's save ourselves twenty years from now and just tell

957
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 3: it to me now. And I think that for you

958
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 3: is difficult, be honest. That's just not who you are.

959
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 3: That's really hard for you to be like, So you

960
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 3: have to drag it out of him, Yeah a little

961
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:21,320
Speaker 3: bit honest.

962
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.

963
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 3: But I I come from a world where people are

964
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,840
Speaker 3: always like, girl, you got to fix this, or you

965
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 3: got to you know what I mean?

966
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 2: Those things really don't bother me. I actually what do.

967
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 3: I only ask honesty. All I ask for is honesty.

968
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 3: Just tell me the truth. I can handle anything. I

969
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 3: can't handleize, Just tell me the truth anything else I

970
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 3: really can't. I do really good at handling, and I

971
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 3: could figure it out. But what I can't do is

972
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 3: if you're lying to me, because now I can't trust you.

973
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 3: So I felt like that was really important, especially coming

974
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 3: from somebody saying this. I was, I was unfaithful in

975
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 3: my last marriage, Like, these are real things. We had

976
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 3: to have a conversation about. Therapy was the other one.

977
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,879
Speaker 3: And I'm thinking about, like if I had to tell

978
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:03,400
Speaker 3: a young woman this, like what I would tell her

979
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 3: would be like you have to actually see that they're

980
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 3: wanting to change, that they're actively changing the You can't

981
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 3: want it for them, No, No, you can't be setting

982
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 3: up the therapy sessions for them. They need to want

983
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 3: it so badly that like you're asking them what are

984
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:17,759
Speaker 3: they doing, They're like, I'm just trying to figure it out,

985
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 3: Like I want to be right, I want to get

986
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:20,560
Speaker 3: it right with you.

987
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:21,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

988
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 4: I think women make that mistake sometimes. Yeah, you want

989
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 4: somebody to be a version of something, so you they

990
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying.

991
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:32,280
Speaker 1: So I think that's the difference about her. She wants

992
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 1: me to just be the best version for myself.

993
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 2: Whatever that is.

994
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 1: That's it. It's not like I need you to be

995
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,879
Speaker 1: the best version so that I look good or that

996
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 1: this feels. She's like, I want you to be at

997
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 1: tip top for your own self because if you are,

998
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,919
Speaker 1: we're all going to benefit. We're all gonna win.

999
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, we are so cute.

1000
00:45:56,000 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 4: Let's talk about the Let's talk about the parenting journey

1001
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 4: that has got because your road has not been I mean,

1002
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,480
Speaker 4: you've been a parent for a long time. Yes, well,

1003
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 4: how many years have you.

1004
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 1: Been a father? Thirty one years?

1005
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,240
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's crazy.

1006
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 1: I've been a father for thirty one years.

1007
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 4: And it's interesting because the parent that you were thirty

1008
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 4: one years ago is probably very different than the parents now.

1009
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 1: I can help you real quick with that. Yeah, well,

1010
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 1: I mean, so Mariah is going to be twenty nine. Wow.

1011
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:35,439
Speaker 1: So Mariah technically was my first child in the sense

1012
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,920
Speaker 1: of the child that I helped raise. I have an

1013
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 1: older son who I didn't know I was his father

1014
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:44,279
Speaker 1: until it was until he was almost five. We have

1015
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 1: a great relationship now, but and he's thirty one. With Mariah,

1016
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 1: Her and I are like this from day one. You

1017
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 1: know Mariah, of course, and she's kind of been my

1018
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 1: ride or die from. I mean I took her on

1019
00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 1: the road from the time she was a year old, probably,

1020
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,840
Speaker 1: but after that I kind of was gone all the time.

1021
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 1: I said yes to everything, you know how she couldn't

1022
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:09,879
Speaker 1: say no to anything. I couldn't either, and I wouldn't either.

1023
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 1: I just wanted to stay active on tour all of that,

1024
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 1: and I and and because but the marriage was so

1025
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 1: not great that I just didn't want to be around.

1026
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: And so I pursued my career. And so the upside

1027
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 1: of that is, you know, I want a bunch of

1028
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:32,759
Speaker 1: Grammys and sold a bunch of records, did a bunch

1029
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,279
Speaker 1: of stuff. But at the same time, I had a

1030
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 1: lot of repair to do with my family now, like

1031
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,879
Speaker 1: people ask me now, Like you know sometimes people are like, oh,

1032
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:42,920
Speaker 1: you got to start all over again whatever, you know,

1033
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:46,239
Speaker 1: there's only two And I'm like, you don't understand. This

1034
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 1: is I'm having the time of my life with this love.

1035
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:51,759
Speaker 2: That they're a part of it too, you know what

1036
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 2: I mean.

1037
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 3: Like Mariah lives here in New York, Sonny, Like they

1038
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 3: literally will like we literally do sleepovers in our beds,

1039
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 3: Like it's all us across the bed with Ever, they

1040
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 3: love him.

1041
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,720
Speaker 2: It's it's yeah, it's really greatest.

1042
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 1: So this time around, I'm far more present, I'm far

1043
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 1: more involved. I'm learning Spanish while Ever is learning Spanish.

1044
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 1: It's the greatest thing. And we're just sort of it's

1045
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 1: like being a kid all over again and getting on

1046
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:19,759
Speaker 1: the floor and playing hot wheels every day with this

1047
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 1: kid and whatever the new thing he's into I'm into

1048
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 1: and it's great.

1049
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 2: I mean, come on, it's so great.

1050
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 4: I remember when you guys told me yeah, yes, yes,

1051
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 4: and it was just its abundance of joy.

1052
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:41,439
Speaker 1: Your reaction was all, yes, it was so good.

1053
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 4: Remember that part. I just remember you guys.

1054
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 3: The craziest thing is do you still go through this

1055
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:47,399
Speaker 3: not even looking at an eco?

1056
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 4: Are you?

1057
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 1: Like?

1058
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 2: I can't believe that's my kid? Does that still happen?

1059
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 4: No, it's more like because you know, as they get older,

1060
00:48:57,160 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 4: you relearn them. It's like, wow, you have to relearn

1061
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 4: who they are all the time because they're becoming a

1062
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:06,759
Speaker 4: different person.

1063
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:07,360
Speaker 2: Version of themselves.

1064
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 4: So sometimes he does or says things that I'm like, wow, yes,

1065
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 4: that's so super dope. Like I have like this kind

1066
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 4: of like able to appreciate him from outside of being Yes, yes,

1067
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 4: as being like and the same. You know, I have

1068
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 4: Christians since he's four in my house, and so the

1069
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:25,439
Speaker 4: same thing with Christians. Sometimes they do things and and

1070
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 4: I don't know, I'm just it's amazing to me the

1071
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:31,160
Speaker 4: human beings that they are because they go out and

1072
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,360
Speaker 4: they have their own experiences outside of you guys, so

1073
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 4: then they come home and they're a little different. Yes,

1074
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 4: is that what you were asking? Probably not No.

1075
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:42,479
Speaker 3: For me, it's it's the actual Oh my gosh. I

1076
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 3: have a son and he's the living, breathing human version

1077
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 3: of like plus and he's walking around our house and

1078
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,799
Speaker 3: doing things, and he's very strong willed. I don't know

1079
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 3: where he gets it from. He's very strong willed. He's

1080
00:49:55,840 --> 00:50:02,279
Speaker 3: really really funny. But the thing is, he knows he's

1081
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,439
Speaker 3: funny if you laugh, and then he's gonna keep saying

1082
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 3: the same joke over and over again to keep you laughing.

1083
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 3: It's it's giving me on the real But I'm gonna

1084
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:10,919
Speaker 3: literally i'd be like, did you guys hear that joke?

1085
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 2: But like for real, it was O D.

1086
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,799
Speaker 3: But I'll see ever do stuff like that and I'm like,

1087
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:22,240
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, like that his personality he's really funny.

1088
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 1: Here's my but he has her entire personality.

1089
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:26,840
Speaker 2: It is Israel's whole face.

1090
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:28,799
Speaker 4: It's so cute. This is true.

1091
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:30,880
Speaker 2: He has my forehead, of my ears. I'm holding onto that.

1092
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:34,880
Speaker 4: Okay, what have you learned about each other from parenting?

1093
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 2: Or like, whoa, you have to.

1094
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:48,440
Speaker 3: Make the time because a child, really he'll consume all

1095
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:51,799
Speaker 3: our day. And while we love that, it has been

1096
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 3: significant to us to also be like, we have to

1097
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 3: take care of us as well. So that's been a transition,

1098
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 3: like just like a figuring out how to navigate that.

1099
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 1: First of all, the last six months for us have

1100
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:09,919
Speaker 1: been nothing but full throttle everything about it. We did

1101
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:12,800
Speaker 1: the live record, We did two volumes of the live record.

1102
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:17,439
Speaker 1: She did Broadway, like it's just non stop, and we realized, hey,

1103
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:20,040
Speaker 1: at some point we might need to like we'll find

1104
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 1: ourselves going, hey, could you and I just go escape

1105
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 1: for a day or two and not tell anybody, like

1106
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:26,800
Speaker 1: that's where we're at right now because.

1107
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 4: It's nuts and so you're making that time.

1108
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, But in all of that we realize we

1109
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 1: do like each other because even like again talking about

1110
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:37,839
Speaker 1: the uncomfortable conversation the other night by the time we're

1111
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,360
Speaker 1: in the car, we're laughing about something. Well, actually we

1112
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 1: laughed about something crazy after that, but I can't share that, and.

1113
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:47,839
Speaker 4: You're still and then you're closer. That's a surprise. That's

1114
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:50,279
Speaker 4: the surprise side. If you can get to the other side,

1115
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 4: if you can.

1116
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 2: Get to the other side, you are absolutely closer.

1117
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:58,560
Speaker 3: As a parent, I realized that is I'm so grateful

1118
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 3: that I chose him.

1119
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 2: Does that make sense? Who you choose to have children

1120
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:07,719
Speaker 2: with is wild, you know what I mean? Like, it

1121
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:09,799
Speaker 2: is not an easy It's not an easy thing.

1122
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 3: And I love that my child gets to have him

1123
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 3: as a dad because he's a great dad. I also,

1124
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 3: I love co parenting with you because where I'm like no,

1125
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:23,839
Speaker 3: You're like, come on, babe, And then there's times where

1126
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 3: I'm like you can't let him get away.

1127
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:27,920
Speaker 2: No, I mean, you really are always softer. I'm always harder.

1128
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 3: I was trying to give an example of you harder,

1129
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 3: I mean softer, but that doesn't really exist. He's just

1130
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:35,840
Speaker 3: kind and loving and he takes time to be with

1131
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 3: him and they I love that. I love that he'll

1132
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 3: let me sleep in. I'm not a morning person. I'll

1133
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:43,400
Speaker 3: sleep in. He wakes up at the crack of dawn

1134
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,200
Speaker 3: and ever and him will like, go do stuff downstairs.

1135
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 2: Like I appreciate that. I haven't.

1136
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:51,799
Speaker 4: You've chosen, You've chosen well.

1137
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 3: I love I know this sounds dumb. I love that

1138
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:56,480
Speaker 3: like he'll grow up listening to his songs. I love

1139
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:58,800
Speaker 3: the music that you've created, and that's a legacy for

1140
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,800
Speaker 3: my son to listen to. I think that's really special.

1141
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 3: It makes me want to do music more now, only

1142
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:08,560
Speaker 3: because I'm like, he'll listen to that end won't listen

1143
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:10,359
Speaker 3: to it, like is that a good song? But wow,

1144
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:13,240
Speaker 3: that's my dad singing or wow that's my mom singing.

1145
00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 2: Does that make sense?

1146
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 3: I see everything in a very different way since being

1147
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 3: a mom in general.

1148
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,319
Speaker 4: That Yeah, should we do our bull? I have a bowl.

1149
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 3: I like a ball. I would love to try the ball.

1150
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:28,400
Speaker 4: I feel like it's bull time this girl. This is

1151
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:31,520
Speaker 4: the in real life. I'll do one too. I said

1152
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:33,120
Speaker 4: I was going to do one too with people. Now, okay,

1153
00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 4: you know, just questions, do you doing? Should I do

1154
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:37,400
Speaker 4: the first? You doing first?

1155
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 2: Is I have to? Yeah?

1156
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 4: Okay one? Do they get to one of each each one? Okay,

1157
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:49,720
Speaker 4: it's just pick what I the love of God.

1158
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:52,799
Speaker 2: It's me like praying over the ball.

1159
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:57,760
Speaker 3: Okay, mine is best parenting advice you've ever gotten.

1160
00:53:59,080 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 2: M hmm.

1161
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,480
Speaker 3: It's not one solid thing, but it kind of goes

1162
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:04,359
Speaker 3: back to what I was saying.

1163
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 2: I'd actually heard this said before.

1164
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:08,240
Speaker 3: Of the greatest gift you can give to your children

1165
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:15,320
Speaker 3: is to love their parent like the other parent, because

1166
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 3: watching that shows them what love looks like, a healthy

1167
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 3: relationship that they should want to have in the future.

1168
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:26,799
Speaker 2: And I would think the main thing from that, Oh, I.

1169
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:28,840
Speaker 3: Have another one, So that would be to be a

1170
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:30,800
Speaker 3: really good spouse, Sam and keep a strong marriage so

1171
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 3: that we can have a healthy, happy family and I

1172
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:33,920
Speaker 3: can be an example of that. But the other one

1173
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 3: I just remembered was to be happy. When you ask

1174
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 3: any parent what do you want for your child?

1175
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:41,840
Speaker 2: What do they say? I just want them to be happy.

1176
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:46,279
Speaker 3: But rarely are we examples of that. Rarely are we

1177
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:50,399
Speaker 3: examples of happy parents. I learned how to be happy

1178
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 3: because I saw my mom be happy. I saw her

1179
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 3: go after her happiness. I saw her find what made

1180
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 3: her happy, and she pursued that.

1181
00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:58,439
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

1182
00:54:59,080 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 3: So I want to be the happiest way from yeah,

1183
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 3: I mean, she made some really hard decisions. My mom

1184
00:55:05,239 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 3: got divorced when I was thirteen, and it was a

1185
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 3: very difficult decision for her.

1186
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 4: That's the thing, right, It's like, sometimes people have to

1187
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:14,839
Speaker 4: make pivots in their life. You have to make hard

1188
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:17,240
Speaker 4: decisions to get to your happiness. When you were talking

1189
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:19,840
Speaker 4: about being in this marriage and dealing with everything with

1190
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:22,400
Speaker 4: the church, yeah, I thought to myself for a second,

1191
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,800
Speaker 4: I was like, Wow, he could have, out of guilt

1192
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 4: or out of whatever, he could have stayed in that forever.

1193
00:55:28,239 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 3: What it would have been more, he would have been

1194
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 3: more successful, It would have actually been beneficial, and you

1195
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:33,000
Speaker 3: would have.

1196
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:36,440
Speaker 4: Messed out on this part of your life if you

1197
00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:40,760
Speaker 4: were afraid to make that kind of pivot or that choice.

1198
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:43,520
Speaker 1: I was given the option to make it work, to

1199
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 1: like just stick it out for optics. And I remember saying,

1200
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 1: I don't think I want to do that. And the

1201
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:53,440
Speaker 1: question was, well, what about your platform? And I said,

1202
00:55:54,239 --> 00:55:57,400
Speaker 1: what about my peace? I said, what's the point of

1203
00:55:57,440 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 1: having a platform if you have no peace?

1204
00:55:59,640 --> 00:55:59,799
Speaker 4: Oh?

1205
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:03,640
Speaker 1: If I'm on a stage every night in a different

1206
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:07,080
Speaker 1: city telling telling people God is so great and he's

1207
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:08,919
Speaker 1: the hope of the world, and that's what you need.

1208
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:14,879
Speaker 1: And I'm like privately disintegrating and dying and hate all

1209
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:18,319
Speaker 1: of this, Like I'd rather just go find peace. And

1210
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:20,440
Speaker 1: if I never get on a platform again and I

1211
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:25,240
Speaker 1: never have anybody follow me again or download my songs again,

1212
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:28,399
Speaker 1: I have peace in my soul, which means I might

1213
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:30,080
Speaker 1: be here a little longer than I thought I was

1214
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:33,560
Speaker 1: gonna be. And I think that's just real that's just

1215
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:39,160
Speaker 1: real life. And and I think I think because of embarrassment,

1216
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:42,480
Speaker 1: people will stay in things, or because of people's opinions

1217
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:45,359
Speaker 1: or people's expectation, will stay in things way past their

1218
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:49,520
Speaker 1: expiration date and their due date. And you find yourself

1219
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:56,320
Speaker 1: in really toxic, painful, life threatening situations.

1220
00:56:55,719 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 2: And being way worse, way worse.

1221
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 4: But you did that such thing. And even from the

1222
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:03,399
Speaker 4: beginning of our conversation, I was like, you have kind

1223
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:06,279
Speaker 4: of in a way manifested this life for yourself. And

1224
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:08,440
Speaker 4: it's not even just about the career that's been great,

1225
00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 4: but like you like, you've created this family, but it's

1226
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:12,600
Speaker 4: because you learned, if you learned how to be happy

1227
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 4: from your mother.

1228
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 2: My mom made really difficult decisions.

1229
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 3: But and somebody asked me, how did you handle a

1230
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:21,320
Speaker 3: divorce at that age, and I genuinely was like, I

1231
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:23,680
Speaker 3: really wanted to see my mom happy, and I saw

1232
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:26,680
Speaker 3: her do that and be that, and I'm so grateful.

1233
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:27,680
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful.

1234
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 3: And now we funny enough, we all do Christmases together.

1235
00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:33,160
Speaker 3: You know, I have like the best example of a

1236
00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:35,680
Speaker 3: blended family. Yeah, I have two dads. They love each other.

1237
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:37,320
Speaker 3: They sit down and we'll have a beer together. Like

1238
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:42,040
Speaker 3: they're just great examples of being mature and growing up

1239
00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 3: and saying, Okay, that didn't work out, but it's but

1240
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:46,720
Speaker 3: that's okay, and like we need to love each other

1241
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 3: and be a family for these kids.

1242
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 2: We're not kids anymore. And by the way, they're still

1243
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 2: doing it.

1244
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:53,960
Speaker 1: At least once a week, we're all hanging out together.

1245
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 2: It's the best example. Okay, what did yours that was?

1246
00:57:58,880 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 4: That was a good one.

1247
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 3: That was a great one. The best parenting advice you

1248
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 3: ever got. Like I remember claud and jured Jared saying

1249
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 3: the best thing I can do for Jet and Bow

1250
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:09,640
Speaker 3: is to be good to their mother. And I always

1251
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 3: loved that, you know, to be a good husband to

1252
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:14,920
Speaker 3: this so that they're girls, they're gonna watch, you know,

1253
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 3: everything he does. That's how they're gonna know, what's the

1254
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 3: kind of man I should be with? How who should

1255
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:23,640
Speaker 3: I marry? If you see healthy love, you know, healthy love, marriage, family.

1256
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 1: What's something that you used to be embarrassed about that

1257
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:32,640
Speaker 1: you now own? Yeah, oh your history, all of that

1258
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:36,440
Speaker 1: for sure. I would say, you know, I found out

1259
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 1: at like seventeen that was prematurely gray. So like by

1260
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 1: the time I was like twenty, like this was all white,

1261
00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:48,280
Speaker 1: like salt and pepper, but mostly like salt.

1262
00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 4: Wow.

1263
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:54,120
Speaker 1: And so I died it for years and years and years.

1264
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:55,240
Speaker 2: And I diet for him.

1265
00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:58,600
Speaker 3: We were in the bathroom doing science projects on this

1266
00:58:58,680 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 3: air okay, the band.

1267
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 2: I was giving you haircuts, man.

1268
00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:06,040
Speaker 1: And then and then one day, I think during the pandemic,

1269
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:08,160
Speaker 1: I decided I'm going to take all my hair off.

1270
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:12,920
Speaker 1: And I loved that. She loved that. She's like, and

1271
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 1: then and then and then I stopped dying anything, and

1272
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 1: She's like, I love this look. So I've made full

1273
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 1: peace with it. I'm an old man, I'm a vehicle whatever.

1274
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:30,320
Speaker 2: But I was, okay, you are at peace.

1275
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 4: Should I do one?

1276
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:33,600
Speaker 1: But when people are making fun of you as a

1277
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 1: teenager for.

1278
00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 3: Looking, I mean, that is kind of crazy to be

1279
00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:39,840
Speaker 3: Oh my god, this is good seventeen and totally white.

1280
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:42,760
Speaker 2: That's wild. But I'm you don't have no looking.

1281
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:45,840
Speaker 4: I wouldn't. I wouldn't mind sharing mine with the whole table. Okay, go,

1282
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 4: like I want everybody to ask.

1283
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

1284
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:52,200
Speaker 4: If God were to text you right now, what would

1285
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:57,760
Speaker 4: it say? Wow? If God were to text you right now,

1286
00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:04,439
Speaker 4: what would it say? My text would probably be, ooh,

1287
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 4: stay on your path, Just stay on your path. I

1288
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 4: always feel most connected to God when I'm doing what

1289
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 4: I'm supposed to be doing. And so sometimes we get

1290
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 4: distracted or we you know, for whatever reason. It's all

1291
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:24,080
Speaker 4: types of reasons. But whatever I'm like locked in and

1292
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:26,800
Speaker 4: it's what I'm supposed to be doing, I like everything

1293
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 4: just feels better. I feel better, things come easier, and

1294
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 4: so probably that I feel like I had a weekend

1295
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 4: where like I was like working on something and everything

1296
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:39,000
Speaker 4: was like clicking, and I was like, oh yes, oh yes,

1297
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 4: you know that feeling, and I'm like, okay, I'm on

1298
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 4: my path. That's how I know, Like, oh, I was

1299
01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 4: a God winks just like God winks exactly. So I

1300
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 4: think right if I were to get a text today,

1301
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:50,960
Speaker 4: it would probably say that with a wink emoji.

1302
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 3: I don't know when he said it. I literally said,

1303
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:56,440
Speaker 3: I'm proud of you. And the only reason is because

1304
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:58,920
Speaker 3: I had a moment I cried about. I cried earlier

1305
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:02,000
Speaker 3: today because and I know this is going to sound

1306
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:06,280
Speaker 3: so ridiculous, but I've been in like mom mode. I'm

1307
01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:08,240
Speaker 3: on the floor playing with ever, i don't wear makeup

1308
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 3: every day, I'm in whatever.

1309
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 2: I'm in mom mode.

1310
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:13,400
Speaker 3: I'm engulfed in my son and spending time with him

1311
01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:17,480
Speaker 3: and being with him. And it's weird because like when

1312
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:19,920
Speaker 3: you were like, oh, come do this, there was something

1313
01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 3: in me that was like, I don't like I have

1314
01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:23,880
Speaker 3: to get on camera, I have to pull myself together,

1315
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:26,439
Speaker 3: do my makeup and whatever. And there was a part

1316
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:28,360
Speaker 3: of me that was just like, I don't have anything

1317
01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:32,000
Speaker 3: to say. I know, I'm telling you that's real, but

1318
01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:34,080
Speaker 3: that's so real. And I was talking to Is about it,

1319
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:35,840
Speaker 3: and I got in the car and I have this

1320
01:01:35,880 --> 01:01:38,400
Speaker 3: app on my phone call Church Home, and I did

1321
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:40,439
Speaker 3: the app this morning and I cannot make this up.

1322
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:43,080
Speaker 3: It was Psalm one thirty nine, which I have tattooed

1323
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 3: behind my ear, and it was about that you are

1324
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:48,880
Speaker 3: fearfully and wonderfully made right. And it was pretty much

1325
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:51,360
Speaker 3: saying like, just be authentically who you are. Like it

1326
01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 3: was about authenticity and just being you. And I feel

1327
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 3: like I'm sitting in this chair and I'm like, I

1328
01:01:57,280 --> 01:02:00,040
Speaker 3: did it, like I No, one sounds weird, and I do.

1329
01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:02,440
Speaker 4: I used to do things like this coming out.

1330
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:04,439
Speaker 2: I used to do stuff like this all the time.

1331
01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:07,440
Speaker 3: But I think I question that now, Like I I'm like,

1332
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:08,680
Speaker 3: what am I supposed to be doing?

1333
01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:11,280
Speaker 2: Like I'm a mom. I really enjoy this more than

1334
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:12,000
Speaker 2: anything else.

1335
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:13,600
Speaker 4: Do I want to go be interviewed?

1336
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,920
Speaker 2: It sounds weird, and I absolutely want to.

1337
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:19,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, the best combo.

1338
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:21,440
Speaker 3: Yeah it's the best comp But you so, I think

1339
01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:25,200
Speaker 3: he'd be like, good job, like I did it, you know, because.

1340
01:02:25,720 --> 01:02:26,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's great.

1341
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:27,280
Speaker 1: What was the question again?

1342
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:29,800
Speaker 2: Specifically, Oh my God? Would God text me?

1343
01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:29,960
Speaker 1: No?

1344
01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:32,440
Speaker 4: If God were to text you right now, right now,

1345
01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:33,800
Speaker 4: if you would have picked up your phone and it

1346
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:36,000
Speaker 4: was hitting, what would it say?

1347
01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:40,959
Speaker 1: It would say? Can you FaceTime? I prefer to FaceTime once.

1348
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 1: I have people in my life and I love them

1349
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:47,560
Speaker 1: very much who refuse to text please do.

1350
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:52,160
Speaker 3: I hate that they refuse so they'll know the first.

1351
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, bro, I'm on the toilet right now. I'm

1352
01:02:57,440 --> 01:03:00,800
Speaker 1: not taking your face. I have said being funny with that,

1353
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:05,240
Speaker 1: but like the I don't know. There's something about being present,

1354
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:08,960
Speaker 1: and I just feel like it's easy sometimes to say God,

1355
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 1: I'll get to that in a minute. I feel like

1356
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:13,280
Speaker 1: I've written God so many IOUs like I know, we

1357
01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:15,120
Speaker 1: got to deal with this, or I need to spend

1358
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:17,680
Speaker 1: time with you, but I'm doing something else, And I

1359
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:19,360
Speaker 1: feel like he would say, like, hey, just talk to

1360
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 1: me for a little bit. Check in, Yeah, check in

1361
01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 1: there you go. Check in? He is check in, there

1362
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:28,640
Speaker 1: you go. Maybe that's lock in, lock lock in.

1363
01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:39,479
Speaker 2: You lately have been using all of these like new

1364
01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:40,440
Speaker 2: trendy words.

1365
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 1: I have.

1366
01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:45,640
Speaker 2: Told me that I'm about to have a crash out.

1367
01:03:45,680 --> 01:03:47,440
Speaker 2: I was like, what are you talking about?

1368
01:03:48,040 --> 01:03:49,880
Speaker 1: I walked into our laundry room. I said, I can't

1369
01:03:49,880 --> 01:03:50,520
Speaker 1: take it anymore.

1370
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:52,720
Speaker 2: This is about I'm about to crash out. I'm like,

1371
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:53,600
Speaker 2: who are what?

1372
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:58,240
Speaker 4: I was like, I love that you lock in? I

1373
01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:00,920
Speaker 4: love that for you, all right, Ook, I already know

1374
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:02,560
Speaker 4: the answers. I think I know the answer to this

1375
01:04:02,680 --> 01:04:06,640
Speaker 4: question in real life today. How happy are you both

1376
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:07,919
Speaker 4: on a scale of one to ten.

1377
01:04:08,920 --> 01:04:11,040
Speaker 3: Right now that we're almost getting this done, I'm just

1378
01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:13,919
Speaker 3: kidding about oh my god, I'm getting no no, no, no, no,

1379
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:18,480
Speaker 3: I'm kidding getting it okay. Right now, I would say, honestly,

1380
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:21,360
Speaker 3: I'm a ten. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'd

1381
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:21,760
Speaker 3: say ten.

1382
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 1: I'm then I'm going eleven because anytime she's really happy,

1383
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:29,920
Speaker 1: I am astatic in life. And I had a question like,

1384
01:04:29,960 --> 01:04:32,240
Speaker 1: what makes you truly happy? When are you the happy?

1385
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:35,400
Speaker 3: Yes with her, No, I'm really happy, that's the truth,

1386
01:04:35,720 --> 01:04:39,520
Speaker 3: really really happy, like really happy every day you are

1387
01:04:39,840 --> 01:04:43,240
Speaker 3: not every day, No, but I'm really happy. I'm I

1388
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:45,600
Speaker 3: will be happiest when I clean out my closet.

1389
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:47,400
Speaker 2: But that has to do with OCD and I'm not

1390
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:48,080
Speaker 2: being funny.

1391
01:04:48,320 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 3: If you deal with like having a lot of chaos

1392
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:53,320
Speaker 3: in here, and I think a lot, and I overthink

1393
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:56,800
Speaker 3: a lot. So if my home is like in order,

1394
01:04:57,360 --> 01:04:59,320
Speaker 3: that will like woo.

1395
01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:01,120
Speaker 2: Something like that. That's a happy moment.

1396
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:03,640
Speaker 3: It sounds dumb, but if you caim relay, you can

1397
01:05:03,680 --> 01:05:07,120
Speaker 3: relay if you know, my closet looks crazy.

1398
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:08,480
Speaker 2: So I'm spending tomorrow.

1399
01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:11,520
Speaker 4: I believe that your closet. I want you to believe

1400
01:05:11,560 --> 01:05:13,919
Speaker 4: bad okay in real life? What do you pray for.

1401
01:05:13,920 --> 01:05:16,600
Speaker 3: Most in real life? I pray most for protection over

1402
01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:17,160
Speaker 3: my family.

1403
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:21,280
Speaker 1: I just pray for wisdom and how to raise this

1404
01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:21,840
Speaker 1: little kid.

1405
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:24,400
Speaker 4: I love that.

1406
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:29,120
Speaker 3: I'm like always like God, protect us, just keep us,

1407
01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 3: protect our hearts, protect our minds.

1408
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:33,720
Speaker 1: Protect my son, say and protect me so I can

1409
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:34,560
Speaker 1: protect him.

1410
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:39,680
Speaker 4: In real life? What is your biggest challenge? Like, we

1411
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:42,040
Speaker 4: all have our hurdles, we all have our things that

1412
01:05:42,160 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 4: self discipline.

1413
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:46,400
Speaker 2: I lack self discipline, really, I really do.

1414
01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:48,280
Speaker 4: I would not think that of you.

1415
01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:53,040
Speaker 3: I'm very motivated, but if the motivation isn't there, I'm

1416
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:56,240
Speaker 3: not disciplined enough to do it without motivation. And I've

1417
01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:59,400
Speaker 3: recognized that about myself. So if I'm not like motivated

1418
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:04,600
Speaker 3: to I'm like right now, I'm not career motivated right now.

1419
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:07,480
Speaker 3: And that's honest. That's just not where I'm at. I'm

1420
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:08,400
Speaker 3: not career motivating.

1421
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,440
Speaker 4: While you just put on an album with your husband.

1422
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:13,400
Speaker 4: You just did it Broadway a Broadway show where you

1423
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:15,720
Speaker 4: sang and danced and learned all your lines and were

1424
01:06:15,760 --> 01:06:19,800
Speaker 4: amazing in the show. So this is you not career's

1425
01:06:20,360 --> 01:06:22,400
Speaker 4: I'm not And by the way you have.

1426
01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:25,840
Speaker 3: A whole brand, I know, But to me, I will

1427
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:28,680
Speaker 3: I will be disappointed with my lack of motivation. Like

1428
01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:31,000
Speaker 3: I I get, I'm very.

1429
01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:32,240
Speaker 2: Hard on myself in that way.

1430
01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:34,480
Speaker 3: Like there's times when I don't sleep because I will

1431
01:06:34,480 --> 01:06:36,320
Speaker 3: wake up being like I'm not doing enough or what

1432
01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:36,919
Speaker 3: am I doing?

1433
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,520
Speaker 2: Or why am I not doing enough? Or why why?

1434
01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:41,440
Speaker 3: I will be upset with myself as to why I'm

1435
01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:43,360
Speaker 3: not motivated, you know what I mean?

1436
01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:44,600
Speaker 2: Like that will annoy me.

1437
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:47,520
Speaker 4: I'm the same way I'm making kind of making fun

1438
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:48,840
Speaker 4: of you, but I'm the same.

1439
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:51,600
Speaker 2: I will be annoyed that I'm not motivated enough.

1440
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:54,240
Speaker 3: And then right now, because of the season that I'm

1441
01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:56,840
Speaker 3: in in my life, I'm calling it a season. I'm

1442
01:06:56,920 --> 01:07:03,040
Speaker 3: I'm choosing to really focus on being a mom. I

1443
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,240
Speaker 3: wish that I could throw my phone away, but that's

1444
01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:06,840
Speaker 3: how we make money, and you know what I mean.

1445
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:08,960
Speaker 3: So like it it feels like such a tug of

1446
01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:13,240
Speaker 3: war inside of myself sometimes so that I struggle with it.

1447
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:15,240
Speaker 2: So I want self discipline.

1448
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:18,760
Speaker 3: I'm actually on a fitness and health journey because I

1449
01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:20,320
Speaker 3: feel like if I can really find a way to

1450
01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:22,120
Speaker 3: be disciplined in that area of my life.

1451
01:07:22,240 --> 01:07:23,800
Speaker 2: It will be in the other area.

1452
01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:26,240
Speaker 4: That's so funny. I'm starting this ninety day thing tomorrow.

1453
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:29,920
Speaker 2: I meal planned, like, tell me, you still want to

1454
01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:31,360
Speaker 2: go dance with the Hitas? Let me know.

1455
01:07:31,520 --> 01:07:35,120
Speaker 3: Yes, I wish they were, but they were proof of

1456
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:36,360
Speaker 3: a life of discipline.

1457
01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:40,200
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I want to be that. Yeah.

1458
01:07:39,840 --> 01:07:43,200
Speaker 1: Yes, I don't know there be a but it sounds exciting.

1459
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:48,160
Speaker 3: It's a dance class, and they were doing amazing, and

1460
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:51,080
Speaker 3: I was out of breath, dying in the back. I

1461
01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:53,440
Speaker 3: was like about to break out some Cheetah Girls choreography

1462
01:07:53,480 --> 01:07:54,480
Speaker 3: and see if I could keep up.

1463
01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:57,760
Speaker 2: Wasn't happening? Okay, what is yours?

1464
01:07:58,520 --> 01:08:02,080
Speaker 4: You're a hurdle, your challenge, I would say, it's me.

1465
01:08:02,800 --> 01:08:05,720
Speaker 1: I would say I'm my biggest challenge every day and

1466
01:08:05,760 --> 01:08:08,280
Speaker 1: I and I and I live with me and and

1467
01:08:08,320 --> 01:08:11,280
Speaker 1: the winds all run into the the office of the

1468
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:13,840
Speaker 1: room and be like, Babe, today's a wind. I feel great.

1469
01:08:13,880 --> 01:08:17,240
Speaker 1: I'm doing good. I passed this challenge at the bagel

1470
01:08:17,320 --> 01:08:18,960
Speaker 1: shop today or whatever it is.

1471
01:08:19,520 --> 01:08:22,519
Speaker 3: Small things, bro, I don't know. I can send him

1472
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:24,080
Speaker 3: to a strange place.

1473
01:08:28,360 --> 01:08:28,839
Speaker 1: I don't.

1474
01:08:30,160 --> 01:08:33,160
Speaker 2: He's been crashing out, crashing out.

1475
01:08:33,479 --> 01:08:35,320
Speaker 1: Yo, He's crashing.

1476
01:08:34,920 --> 01:08:39,960
Speaker 2: Out for real, though for real at.

1477
01:08:39,960 --> 01:08:41,920
Speaker 1: Least we're laughing about it. So I don't know. Man,

1478
01:08:41,960 --> 01:08:47,840
Speaker 1: The smallest things drive me bananas, like like incompetent people

1479
01:08:47,880 --> 01:08:49,760
Speaker 1: on the phone, just drive me.

1480
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:52,679
Speaker 2: My son's swimming lasson?

1481
01:08:54,520 --> 01:08:56,519
Speaker 1: Why are you sharing it in detail? On ear?

1482
01:08:57,160 --> 01:09:03,680
Speaker 3: Give on the phone, I'm like, are you okay?

1483
01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:07,880
Speaker 1: To the lady. Didn't hear me? She heard me going there,

1484
01:09:07,880 --> 01:09:10,680
Speaker 1: asks me questions, you have to talk and I'm losing it,

1485
01:09:10,720 --> 01:09:13,680
Speaker 1: And then I pulled back three seconds later ago, what

1486
01:09:13,960 --> 01:09:15,120
Speaker 1: is wrong with you? Dude?

1487
01:09:15,520 --> 01:09:17,240
Speaker 4: Can I tell you what I think it probably is.

1488
01:09:17,520 --> 01:09:22,080
Speaker 4: I'm not your therapists. This is not about crashing out.

1489
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:24,240
Speaker 4: It's just patience.

1490
01:09:24,720 --> 01:09:27,040
Speaker 1: There it is, and it's warn't wearing things.

1491
01:09:27,040 --> 01:09:30,240
Speaker 4: Your patience is a little low right now, probably because

1492
01:09:30,439 --> 01:09:34,880
Speaker 4: the world is crazy. Maybe you're going on every time

1493
01:09:35,040 --> 01:09:40,000
Speaker 4: is limited and so and people. I think it's not

1494
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:42,280
Speaker 4: to put an age on it, but as you get older,

1495
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:46,559
Speaker 4: there is something to you have less patience for.

1496
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:49,400
Speaker 1: I'm trying not to be the grumpy old man. I

1497
01:09:49,439 --> 01:09:51,080
Speaker 1: have less patience for dumb stuff.

1498
01:09:51,960 --> 01:09:55,439
Speaker 2: But the worst part is me and his kids. We

1499
01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:59,360
Speaker 2: be they dying laughing. We will film him crashing.

1500
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:03,439
Speaker 1: But then there'll be a there'll be a real problem.

1501
01:10:03,479 --> 01:10:06,839
Speaker 1: Somebody could problem at the top of their head because

1502
01:10:07,080 --> 01:10:10,120
Speaker 1: I hit a speed bump in Puerto Rico. This is

1503
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:13,240
Speaker 1: why this drives are crazy, because I'm minor on majors

1504
01:10:13,240 --> 01:10:13,920
Speaker 1: and major.

1505
01:10:14,080 --> 01:10:16,599
Speaker 3: Taking this person to the emergency. This is a real

1506
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:18,800
Speaker 3: true story. He hit his speed bump. You're not the

1507
01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:21,960
Speaker 3: greatest driver. We know this, guys, that's not even fair.

1508
01:10:22,160 --> 01:10:24,720
Speaker 3: He hits the speed bumps in Porto Ricans. They don't

1509
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:28,679
Speaker 3: have the sign this table. Okay, someone's in the back,

1510
01:10:28,800 --> 01:10:32,640
Speaker 3: they'll see hits. At Israel, we're literally looking me and

1511
01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:35,040
Speaker 3: have started Lily are searching for the nearest emergency room.

1512
01:10:35,040 --> 01:10:37,680
Speaker 3: We're We're like, oh my god, oh my god, oh

1513
01:10:37,720 --> 01:10:38,760
Speaker 3: my god, oh my god, oh my god.

1514
01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:41,760
Speaker 2: I am He is eating a breakfast sandwich.

1515
01:10:42,560 --> 01:10:45,080
Speaker 1: It was a MAJORCA sandwich though those are the best ones,

1516
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:47,040
Speaker 1: you know, this eating a sandwich.

1517
01:10:47,520 --> 01:10:50,240
Speaker 2: We I want it to stop eating the sandwich.

1518
01:10:50,479 --> 01:10:51,760
Speaker 1: You have to eat it while it's hot.

1519
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:56,280
Speaker 2: It was amazing you are, that's that's unwell, I know

1520
01:10:56,320 --> 01:11:00,120
Speaker 2: I'm being extra. He was eating the sandwich and you

1521
01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:01,040
Speaker 2: were just you.

1522
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:04,479
Speaker 1: Were so you were triggered by the sandwich.

1523
01:11:04,600 --> 01:11:05,719
Speaker 2: He was eating the sandwich.

1524
01:11:05,800 --> 01:11:09,639
Speaker 1: Guys, all, y'all are worried about this moment? If I

1525
01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:12,280
Speaker 1: add my worry to this moment, and ever is also

1526
01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:14,960
Speaker 1: screaming like how is.

1527
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:17,400
Speaker 2: That gonna help? He figured we had you guys got

1528
01:11:17,680 --> 01:11:18,240
Speaker 2: to eat his hand.

1529
01:11:18,240 --> 01:11:19,479
Speaker 4: I'm will drive you wherever you.

1530
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:22,040
Speaker 1: Tell me to drive you, and I'm chill, but let

1531
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:25,920
Speaker 1: somebody on the phone, or or let my phone not

1532
01:11:26,040 --> 01:11:29,000
Speaker 1: work or let And it's like the craziest thing I got.

1533
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:32,000
Speaker 3: I was bleeding and he was eating a sandwich. The

1534
01:11:32,040 --> 01:11:34,040
Speaker 3: girl couldn't figure out if it was my if I

1535
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:36,920
Speaker 3: was under Adrian bylone or Adrian hot in the kids

1536
01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:37,719
Speaker 3: swim lessons.

1537
01:11:37,760 --> 01:11:40,599
Speaker 2: And he's like, I don't know, she don't know. Take

1538
01:11:40,680 --> 01:11:41,160
Speaker 2: the phone.

1539
01:11:42,160 --> 01:11:44,960
Speaker 4: What I feel so attacked? Right?

1540
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:46,679
Speaker 1: Why didn't I answer these questions?

1541
01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:49,400
Speaker 4: It's a stupid question. You shouldn't just you shouldn't.

1542
01:11:49,040 --> 01:11:55,639
Speaker 1: Skipped on a fitness journey too, But there it is.

1543
01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:58,559
Speaker 4: I love that. Oh my god, all right, so let's

1544
01:11:58,560 --> 01:12:03,280
Speaker 4: finish on in real Yeah, And I don't know how

1545
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:05,360
Speaker 4: to ask you this. Do I ask you this in

1546
01:12:05,439 --> 01:12:08,880
Speaker 4: terms of your careers or family or maybe both? But

1547
01:12:08,920 --> 01:12:11,000
Speaker 4: in real life? What do you think your legacy will

1548
01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:12,120
Speaker 4: be individually.

1549
01:12:12,840 --> 01:12:13,880
Speaker 2: I can't make this up.

1550
01:12:14,560 --> 01:12:17,840
Speaker 3: I thought about this just the other day, and I'm

1551
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:19,479
Speaker 3: a stand on what I really thought about.

1552
01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:24,720
Speaker 2: I was driving and someone else had asked me the

1553
01:12:24,800 --> 01:12:25,080
Speaker 2: question I.

1554
01:12:25,080 --> 01:12:27,240
Speaker 3: Think the little the little boy interviewed me was like,

1555
01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:28,640
Speaker 3: if you had a legacy, what you want to be

1556
01:12:29,080 --> 01:12:30,360
Speaker 3: the legacy that I want?

1557
01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:33,559
Speaker 2: Wow, it sounded so much better in my head.

1558
01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:37,360
Speaker 4: Spin it out, get it out now.

1559
01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:40,360
Speaker 3: I have to hear it sounded it sounded like that

1560
01:12:40,520 --> 01:12:45,120
Speaker 3: only my job, but it sounds so whack the way

1561
01:12:45,120 --> 01:12:47,360
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say so pretty much. I was like, I

1562
01:12:47,439 --> 01:12:51,680
Speaker 3: actually don't really think about my legacy. Shut up my

1563
01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:55,639
Speaker 3: legacy like in the world, because the reality is if

1564
01:12:55,680 --> 01:12:58,040
Speaker 3: you watch Cheetah Girls or three l W or The

1565
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:00,240
Speaker 3: Real or any of those things, or even my YouTube,

1566
01:13:00,560 --> 01:13:02,599
Speaker 3: there's only but so much you know about me, right,

1567
01:13:02,680 --> 01:13:04,920
Speaker 3: or that you think you know about me? And I

1568
01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:09,320
Speaker 3: was like, I really only care about however views my legacy,

1569
01:13:09,400 --> 01:13:13,000
Speaker 3: like how he views me as a mom? Like was

1570
01:13:13,040 --> 01:13:14,800
Speaker 3: I the mom that took baths with him? Did I

1571
01:13:14,840 --> 01:13:15,519
Speaker 3: crawl on the floor?

1572
01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:16,600
Speaker 2: Like what? Like?

1573
01:13:16,840 --> 01:13:20,400
Speaker 3: How might I told you? It sounded way better in

1574
01:13:20,439 --> 01:13:22,280
Speaker 3: my head, sounds perfect. Do you know what I'm saying,

1575
01:13:22,320 --> 01:13:25,880
Speaker 3: Like I because I think living your life, trying to

1576
01:13:27,240 --> 01:13:30,000
Speaker 3: live up to this idea of a legacy you hope

1577
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,000
Speaker 3: to have for a bunch of people that don't really

1578
01:13:32,040 --> 01:13:37,559
Speaker 3: know you is very difficult. Versus I can choose to

1579
01:13:37,760 --> 01:13:40,160
Speaker 3: live every day to create a legacy that my son

1580
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:44,320
Speaker 3: can be like she was a phenomenal present mom and

1581
01:13:44,400 --> 01:13:46,599
Speaker 3: like that's actually all I care about at this point,

1582
01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:49,240
Speaker 3: Like I mean, I hope I had some good impact,

1583
01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:53,720
Speaker 3: think like you know, but when I thought about it

1584
01:13:53,720 --> 01:13:57,800
Speaker 3: as legacy, it felt burdensome, Like it felt like, oh,

1585
01:13:57,920 --> 01:14:00,559
Speaker 3: like did I make my mark? Like did I do

1586
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:03,280
Speaker 3: something good? And what will that be? Or what will

1587
01:14:03,320 --> 01:14:05,479
Speaker 3: be said of that? And then I was like, girl,

1588
01:14:06,120 --> 01:14:08,640
Speaker 3: just let your legacy be you know who you were

1589
01:14:08,680 --> 01:14:12,360
Speaker 3: at home as a wife and a mother, like who

1590
01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:13,960
Speaker 3: I was as a sister, as a daughter. You know

1591
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:16,360
Speaker 3: what I mean, I do Like that to me is

1592
01:14:17,280 --> 01:14:20,080
Speaker 3: what I want to focus on. I knew your career

1593
01:14:20,120 --> 01:14:24,280
Speaker 3: clearly right now, upset, I want to do right now.

1594
01:14:24,200 --> 01:14:27,519
Speaker 2: You'll be like I sang Alpha and Omega everybody you.

1595
01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:32,280
Speaker 1: Like them, I think, I think again, the songs will

1596
01:14:32,360 --> 01:14:34,160
Speaker 1: kind of come and go. I think when I sat

1597
01:14:34,240 --> 01:14:37,360
Speaker 1: down to write certain songs, though I always wanted to

1598
01:14:37,360 --> 01:14:39,880
Speaker 1: write them in a timeless way, Like I don't ever

1599
01:14:39,920 --> 01:14:41,960
Speaker 1: want to be a trendy writer. I kind of want

1600
01:14:41,960 --> 01:14:43,880
Speaker 1: to be a timeless writer, which is why all this

1601
01:14:43,960 --> 01:14:46,400
Speaker 1: new music we've been doing kind of really resonates with me.

1602
01:14:46,880 --> 01:14:48,720
Speaker 1: That said, I think songs are going to come and

1603
01:14:48,760 --> 01:14:51,640
Speaker 1: go and people what you don't want to be is like,

1604
01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:54,920
Speaker 1: who is the guy that did that song ten years ago?

1605
01:14:54,960 --> 01:14:57,640
Speaker 1: What's his name? Again? I don't necessarily want to be that.

1606
01:14:57,800 --> 01:15:00,559
Speaker 1: And if you're only known for that, then how sad?

1607
01:15:01,040 --> 01:15:03,479
Speaker 1: But I think what.

1608
01:15:04,040 --> 01:15:06,360
Speaker 4: I mean, it's true. Where do you guess.

1609
01:15:07,320 --> 01:15:09,439
Speaker 2: If you're only that, who cares? If you're known as

1610
01:15:09,479 --> 01:15:10,519
Speaker 2: the what was that song?

1611
01:15:10,760 --> 01:15:10,840
Speaker 1: Like?

1612
01:15:11,080 --> 01:15:12,800
Speaker 2: That's amazing there was a song.

1613
01:15:12,720 --> 01:15:14,080
Speaker 1: But asked for me.

1614
01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:15,240
Speaker 4: No, that would be sad to me.

1615
01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:17,479
Speaker 1: That would be that would be quite sad to me

1616
01:15:17,720 --> 01:15:21,040
Speaker 1: if you were just similar. Where are they now filed?

1617
01:15:21,040 --> 01:15:26,160
Speaker 1: But that's inevitable. That part is inevitable. And the older

1618
01:15:26,160 --> 01:15:30,200
Speaker 1: I get, I can't remember things that I knew, like clear,

1619
01:15:30,320 --> 01:15:34,400
Speaker 1: clear clear. That said, I want the legacy for me

1620
01:15:34,479 --> 01:15:36,920
Speaker 1: to be like that guy. If he was your friend,

1621
01:15:38,080 --> 01:15:40,880
Speaker 1: you had a good friend, if that guy was in

1622
01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:46,599
Speaker 1: your life. You had somebody on your team worthwhile, you

1623
01:15:46,600 --> 01:15:48,640
Speaker 1: had a good friend, you had a good member of

1624
01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:51,800
Speaker 1: your family, whatever it was. I'd love to keep working

1625
01:15:51,840 --> 01:15:54,439
Speaker 1: on it and eventually be known as like a great

1626
01:15:54,600 --> 01:15:57,360
Speaker 1: husband and a great father. And I'm still working on

1627
01:15:57,560 --> 01:16:00,439
Speaker 1: those things and that's a daily thing. But but I

1628
01:16:00,560 --> 01:16:02,599
Speaker 1: do want to be a good human to the people

1629
01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:06,320
Speaker 1: that I interact with. And I think, you know, you know,

1630
01:16:06,360 --> 01:16:10,599
Speaker 1: how have you ever thought about my my memorial service,

1631
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:12,439
Speaker 1: what it's going to be like? Have you ever gone

1632
01:16:12,479 --> 01:16:15,800
Speaker 1: that dark in that dace? Yes, but you sit there

1633
01:16:15,840 --> 01:16:17,960
Speaker 1: and go the people that get up, I just hope

1634
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:21,920
Speaker 1: they go. Man, I was down, I was in trouble

1635
01:16:21,960 --> 01:16:24,880
Speaker 1: and this dude showed up, Like you hope that those

1636
01:16:24,960 --> 01:16:27,800
Speaker 1: are the stories of Like this guy was just a

1637
01:16:27,840 --> 01:16:28,400
Speaker 1: good dude.

1638
01:16:28,400 --> 01:16:30,559
Speaker 2: He was a guy that shows up. Though.

1639
01:16:30,960 --> 01:16:34,840
Speaker 3: You're a great friend to your friends, what a great

1640
01:16:34,960 --> 01:16:37,040
Speaker 3: You're such a great friend that I'll be like, do

1641
01:16:37,120 --> 01:16:39,400
Speaker 3: you have to leave? Like why are you going to that?

1642
01:16:40,760 --> 01:16:43,240
Speaker 3: I want to show up for my friend, Like he's

1643
01:16:43,479 --> 01:16:45,040
Speaker 3: he's a good good friend.

1644
01:16:46,080 --> 01:16:49,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, well done, then, guys.

1645
01:16:49,120 --> 01:16:51,320
Speaker 2: Then was my legacy thing as deep as I thought

1646
01:16:51,320 --> 01:16:52,360
Speaker 2: it was it was perfect.

1647
01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:52,760
Speaker 1: It was great.

1648
01:16:52,840 --> 01:16:54,639
Speaker 4: Let me tell you why it's perfect for it to be.

1649
01:16:54,640 --> 01:16:57,439
Speaker 1: Forever, that the legacy that matters to Ever is the

1650
01:16:57,439 --> 01:16:58,440
Speaker 1: only legacy.

1651
01:16:58,080 --> 01:17:00,439
Speaker 3: That's like what else can I like I try to

1652
01:17:00,479 --> 01:17:01,920
Speaker 3: think or imagine, you know.

1653
01:17:02,800 --> 01:17:06,720
Speaker 4: It was absolutely perfect. Everything was absolutely perfect today. Can

1654
01:17:06,720 --> 01:17:07,639
Speaker 4: you followed? The little.

1655
01:17:10,760 --> 01:17:13,439
Speaker 3: God made me unique exactly the way I am? And

1656
01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:15,360
Speaker 3: the Bible I'm gonna actually send it to you was

1657
01:17:15,400 --> 01:17:17,680
Speaker 3: so good. I had to say out loud, thank you

1658
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:21,000
Speaker 3: God for my personality. I was weeping in the car,

1659
01:17:21,000 --> 01:17:22,760
Speaker 3: and I don't know why because I was like, thank

1660
01:17:22,800 --> 01:17:26,599
Speaker 3: you God for like my height, my like they made

1661
01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:28,400
Speaker 3: you go through all these things and it was so good.

1662
01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:29,679
Speaker 2: And it's weird.

1663
01:17:29,880 --> 01:17:32,479
Speaker 3: You don't realize that you might have an insecurity about

1664
01:17:32,479 --> 01:17:35,360
Speaker 3: something like you know, like I don't think about it

1665
01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:37,479
Speaker 3: every day playing with Ever. But then it's like you're

1666
01:17:37,520 --> 01:17:41,360
Speaker 3: gonna go have this conversation and I was like, what

1667
01:17:41,360 --> 01:17:42,759
Speaker 3: do I have something to say?

1668
01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:46,320
Speaker 2: Like are they going to watch it? And be like she.

1669
01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:48,960
Speaker 3: Was pointless to have, you know, but that's real, And

1670
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:50,680
Speaker 3: because I haven't done it in a while, it just

1671
01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:53,559
Speaker 3: was like a weird thing. But I'm so glad it

1672
01:17:53,600 --> 01:17:56,000
Speaker 3: was with you, and there's never a weird moment talking

1673
01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:56,360
Speaker 3: to you.

1674
01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:58,200
Speaker 4: Now, I feel like I feel that too sometimes. I

1675
01:17:58,240 --> 01:17:59,920
Speaker 4: mean I feel that from this side all the time,

1676
01:18:00,120 --> 01:18:02,120
Speaker 4: like are we going to create something that matters in

1677
01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:04,960
Speaker 4: somebody's life? Right? So I kind of come to terms

1678
01:18:04,960 --> 01:18:07,960
Speaker 4: with it, like if we get ten views or we

1679
01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:11,679
Speaker 4: get a million views, as long as I left something

1680
01:18:11,680 --> 01:18:14,679
Speaker 4: that I feel could land for somebody or be useful

1681
01:18:14,720 --> 01:18:16,800
Speaker 4: to somebody, I have to, like, I have to put

1682
01:18:16,840 --> 01:18:19,760
Speaker 4: the emphasis and effort on that. Yeah, not that I'm not,

1683
01:18:19,800 --> 01:18:21,880
Speaker 4: you know, I care like everybody else cares. You want

1684
01:18:21,920 --> 01:18:23,479
Speaker 4: text to be successful, and you want to do the

1685
01:18:23,520 --> 01:18:24,800
Speaker 4: things I want to promote it. I want to have

1686
01:18:24,800 --> 01:18:26,280
Speaker 4: the clips and I want to do all of that. Yeah,

1687
01:18:26,479 --> 01:18:28,040
Speaker 4: but that comes after.

1688
01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:30,640
Speaker 1: Is it an enjoyable gig? Do you like doing it this?

1689
01:18:31,479 --> 01:18:33,400
Speaker 4: Yes? I do like it especial to.

1690
01:18:33,479 --> 01:18:36,759
Speaker 1: Work leading up to it or all that goes into

1691
01:18:37,040 --> 01:18:40,599
Speaker 1: just this conversation. Is it enjoyable? Is it hard work?

1692
01:18:40,680 --> 01:18:45,040
Speaker 4: It's most enjoyable when I'm on the path.

1693
01:18:46,000 --> 01:18:46,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1694
01:18:46,520 --> 01:18:49,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's most enjoyable when I'm sitting home doing something

1695
01:18:49,720 --> 01:18:51,400
Speaker 4: I'm supposed to do and something comes to me and

1696
01:18:51,439 --> 01:18:55,320
Speaker 4: says call Adrian Israel, because you should talk about how

1697
01:18:55,360 --> 01:18:58,519
Speaker 4: she's really manifest like they're doing so well and some

1698
01:18:58,560 --> 01:19:01,040
Speaker 4: people should be able to un learn from that. And

1699
01:19:01,080 --> 01:19:04,320
Speaker 4: so when I have that to make the call and

1700
01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:06,280
Speaker 4: then it comes together and then you come and then

1701
01:19:06,320 --> 01:19:08,639
Speaker 4: we talk about it, and I feel like there are

1702
01:19:08,680 --> 01:19:10,960
Speaker 4: plenty of things that you guys shared today that I

1703
01:19:11,320 --> 01:19:16,000
Speaker 4: know somebody needs to hear somebody. So then I feel

1704
01:19:16,880 --> 01:19:17,479
Speaker 4: that I did good.

1705
01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:20,360
Speaker 1: I love that I'm only asking because I'm getting ready

1706
01:19:20,360 --> 01:19:24,519
Speaker 1: to possibly launch something against her better judgment.

1707
01:19:24,640 --> 01:19:25,880
Speaker 2: I what.

1708
01:19:26,320 --> 01:19:27,840
Speaker 1: I know, she don't want me to do it, but

1709
01:19:27,920 --> 01:19:28,680
Speaker 1: I really want to.

1710
01:19:29,080 --> 01:19:30,200
Speaker 2: I love podcasts.

1711
01:19:30,320 --> 01:19:32,640
Speaker 3: I think there's a lot of people, a lot of

1712
01:19:32,680 --> 01:19:33,880
Speaker 3: them people would podcasts.

1713
01:19:35,160 --> 01:19:37,800
Speaker 4: Something's going to happen. Yeah, but I will tell you so.

1714
01:19:37,960 --> 01:19:41,120
Speaker 4: Last we just had an episode with Cynthia Reva. Yeah,

1715
01:19:41,200 --> 01:19:44,000
Speaker 4: and she was talking about her definition of love. I

1716
01:19:44,040 --> 01:19:46,400
Speaker 4: love where things overlap from episode to episode. So it

1717
01:19:46,479 --> 01:19:50,320
Speaker 4: just reminds me sometimes I don't know just things there's

1718
01:19:50,320 --> 01:19:53,200
Speaker 4: a threat, there's a threat. But she was saying her

1719
01:19:53,200 --> 01:19:55,479
Speaker 4: definition of love is like two people walking each other

1720
01:19:55,520 --> 01:19:58,840
Speaker 4: home if you're doing it right, because sometimes people get

1721
01:19:58,840 --> 01:20:01,400
Speaker 4: possessive or it's too watching and people don't grow in

1722
01:20:01,439 --> 01:20:06,160
Speaker 4: a relationship if you are, if you don't allow them

1723
01:20:06,200 --> 01:20:08,360
Speaker 4: to have their space to be they are and to grow.

1724
01:20:09,160 --> 01:20:11,080
Speaker 4: And so it's not like a control thing. It's like

1725
01:20:11,160 --> 01:20:13,840
Speaker 4: walking together. You walking each other home, I know, because

1726
01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:15,400
Speaker 4: your life is the beginning and the middle of it.

1727
01:20:15,400 --> 01:20:17,200
Speaker 4: And then if you find the right person, you walk

1728
01:20:17,200 --> 01:20:19,000
Speaker 4: each other home. Right. Yeah, I thought that was really

1729
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:21,160
Speaker 4: sweet too. But the real purpose is that you have

1730
01:20:21,200 --> 01:20:23,599
Speaker 4: to love each other through the different seasons and let

1731
01:20:23,640 --> 01:20:26,559
Speaker 4: them be who they're going to become. Yes, And then

1732
01:20:26,600 --> 01:20:29,080
Speaker 4: she said and become and become and become a biguse.

1733
01:20:29,400 --> 01:20:30,559
Speaker 1: I caught that when she said that.

1734
01:20:31,120 --> 01:20:33,559
Speaker 2: To me, that was the best part of that, because

1735
01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:34,439
Speaker 2: that's hard for people.

1736
01:20:34,479 --> 01:20:37,759
Speaker 1: That's what resonated with me when she said and become

1737
01:20:37,960 --> 01:20:40,160
Speaker 1: and then she kept going and become and become, and

1738
01:20:40,200 --> 01:20:44,479
Speaker 1: I went, that's a thing, the real thing, Yeah, because

1739
01:20:44,560 --> 01:20:47,160
Speaker 1: nobody who I am like I said, who I was

1740
01:20:47,160 --> 01:20:50,120
Speaker 1: fifteen years ago making out my last Will and Testament

1741
01:20:50,640 --> 01:20:53,679
Speaker 1: is not who I am now at all. And most

1742
01:20:53,720 --> 01:20:57,680
Speaker 1: of the players that were in that are nowhere in

1743
01:20:57,760 --> 01:21:01,680
Speaker 1: my life. So I've been become me becoming even why

1744
01:21:01,720 --> 01:21:02,360
Speaker 1: I am Now.

1745
01:21:02,520 --> 01:21:04,400
Speaker 4: That's why you gotta let him podcast. I know.

1746
01:21:05,920 --> 01:21:06,639
Speaker 2: What I did there for.

1747
01:21:06,640 --> 01:21:09,920
Speaker 3: You, but who I am now from when I got married.

1748
01:21:09,920 --> 01:21:12,040
Speaker 3: I can't believe it's going to be ten years. It's

1749
01:21:12,080 --> 01:21:13,600
Speaker 3: going to be ten years that you went to my

1750
01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:16,080
Speaker 3: wedding in Paris.

1751
01:21:16,120 --> 01:21:17,000
Speaker 2: Who I was then?

1752
01:21:17,760 --> 01:21:20,519
Speaker 3: You know, I don't drink anymore, So like even that,

1753
01:21:20,640 --> 01:21:22,200
Speaker 3: like in a marriage, that makes you.

1754
01:21:22,520 --> 01:21:25,479
Speaker 1: Said anymore after the story was told about your fifteen

1755
01:21:25,520 --> 01:21:26,519
Speaker 1: year old self with him.

1756
01:21:26,560 --> 01:21:27,960
Speaker 4: I know. But by the way, I just want the

1757
01:21:27,960 --> 01:21:29,760
Speaker 4: record to show she wasn't fifteen she was.

1758
01:21:30,439 --> 01:21:32,960
Speaker 2: We always say I wasn't fifteen, dad.

1759
01:21:33,600 --> 01:21:35,200
Speaker 4: You're probably more like seventeen fifteen.

1760
01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:38,519
Speaker 2: Yes, No, the reality is I met you that like.

1761
01:21:40,160 --> 01:21:44,000
Speaker 3: I met you that you didn't take me out that night.

1762
01:21:44,160 --> 01:21:46,160
Speaker 3: It was like the year's of friendship and we then

1763
01:21:46,200 --> 01:21:49,320
Speaker 3: we had we had a fun night. With that being said,

1764
01:21:49,640 --> 01:21:51,880
Speaker 3: like I don't like that changes like who you date,

1765
01:21:52,040 --> 01:21:54,680
Speaker 3: like you know, like yeah, like I really do like

1766
01:21:54,680 --> 01:21:55,160
Speaker 3: staying home.

1767
01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:56,160
Speaker 2: I feel like we used to like to.

1768
01:21:56,080 --> 01:21:56,760
Speaker 1: Go out a line.

1769
01:21:57,160 --> 01:22:00,320
Speaker 2: So you need to love me through this stage coming

1770
01:22:00,360 --> 01:22:04,120
Speaker 2: and becoming a becoming. I'm becoming someone that likes to

1771
01:22:04,120 --> 01:22:04,559
Speaker 2: stay home.

1772
01:22:04,600 --> 01:22:07,040
Speaker 3: You need to stay home while he's such a social butterfly,

1773
01:22:08,040 --> 01:22:09,200
Speaker 3: becoming this one.

1774
01:22:09,920 --> 01:22:11,799
Speaker 4: You're gonna let him become who's becoming.

1775
01:22:12,080 --> 01:22:13,360
Speaker 2: I'm trying.

1776
01:22:14,960 --> 01:22:16,840
Speaker 4: Well. I love who you guys are right now.

1777
01:22:17,160 --> 01:22:20,320
Speaker 2: Thank you in life. We love you in real life.

1778
01:22:20,520 --> 01:22:23,559
Speaker 2: This is Adrian and this is Israel in real life.

1779
01:22:23,720 --> 01:22:27,200
Speaker 4: For more episodes, you know to due, subscribe, like comments,

1780
01:22:27,640 --> 01:22:29,160
Speaker 4: and we'll see you on the next I R O

1781
01:22:29,360 --> 01:22:29,839
Speaker 4: podcast