WEBVTT - 033024 How Old Should Kids Be Before Hearing the N-Word? (Part 1)

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<v Speaker 1>Broadcasting from the Hip Hop Weekly Studios. I'd like to

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<v Speaker 1>welcome you to another episode of Civic Cipher, where our

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<v Speaker 1>mission is to foster allyship, empathy and understanding. I'm your host, ramses.

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<v Speaker 2>Job, he is rams' Jah, I am q Ward. You

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<v Speaker 2>are tuned in the civic cycle.

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<v Speaker 1>Indeed you are, and we have a show that is

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<v Speaker 1>a bit of a mixed bag for you today.

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<v Speaker 3>There is one part of the show that we are

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<v Speaker 3>looking forward to sharing with you, and that is, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>some happier headlines, some things that have been in the

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<v Speaker 3>news that feel like maybe there's.

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<v Speaker 1>Indeed that moral arc of the universe that bends toward justice.

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<v Speaker 1>That you know, not everything is doom and gloom when

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<v Speaker 1>it comes to black life in America, and I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's important for us to acknowledge moments like this when

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<v Speaker 1>they happen. On this show.

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<v Speaker 4>Obviously, we deal with a lot of the tragedies that

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<v Speaker 4>all our community and adjacent and communities of our marginalized

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<v Speaker 4>brothers and sisters that are on this journey with us.

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<v Speaker 1>But every so often we get a story here or

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<v Speaker 1>there that suggests that, you know, maybe people aren't so

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<v Speaker 1>bad after all, and things aren't so bad, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I'm really excited to share a few of the headlines.

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<v Speaker 1>We're able to put a few of them together and

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<v Speaker 1>just kind of go into details. That doesn't mean that

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<v Speaker 1>the stories behind the headlines aren't grim, but again, around here,

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of times we don't get the happy conclusion

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<v Speaker 1>or the silver lining, or you know, some sort of

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<v Speaker 1>completion that is satisfactory. And so we're excited to share

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<v Speaker 1>that today. And then the other part of the show

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<v Speaker 1>is going to be and how do you say it?

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<v Speaker 1>An audible? Is that the right word?

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<v Speaker 2>Listen, bro I wish I could give you the proper

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<v Speaker 2>articulations like aotball or annunciation.

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<v Speaker 1>Well it seems like a word, but yeah, all right, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>stay tuned. You'll find out in the first part of

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<v Speaker 1>the show that we are going to discuss some ebony

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<v Speaker 1>excellence show. I think we shall. So Today's Ebony Excellence

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<v Speaker 1>is sponsored by Major Threads for innovative fashionable sportswear checkmajorthreads

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<v Speaker 1>dot com. Because of them, we can dot Com is

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<v Speaker 1>the source for Today's Ebony Excellence. This came from QE.

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<v Speaker 1>He sent it over there as a beautiful little girl

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<v Speaker 1>who is taking Broadway by storm with her black afropuffs

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<v Speaker 1>and her beautiful smile. I'll share. In the dazzling world

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<v Speaker 1>of Broadway, the dreams of one young actress are taking

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<v Speaker 1>center stage. Nia Thompson, at the tender age of twelve,

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<v Speaker 1>has secured her place in the limelight as the new

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<v Speaker 1>Young Nala in the iconic production of The Lion King.

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<v Speaker 1>Nia's passion for the stage ignited during a pivotal moment

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<v Speaker 1>in her childhood. Her mother recalls quote, I took Nia

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<v Speaker 1>to see Keki Palmer in her historic performance as the

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<v Speaker 1>first Black Disney princess on Broadway in Cinderella. Representation matters, y'all,

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<v Speaker 1>absolutely all right. Nia's love for The Lion King blossomed

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<v Speaker 1>on her eighth birthday when she set foot in the

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<v Speaker 1>Minskoff Theater for the first time. A backstage tour guided

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<v Speaker 1>by the late Sharon Lynn Williams, a seven year ensemble member,

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<v Speaker 1>became a pivotal moment. When asked what she wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>be when she grew up, Nia confidently, confidently declared, I

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<v Speaker 1>want to be in The Lion King. Four years later,

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<v Speaker 1>on the eve of her twelfth birthday, Nia made her

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<v Speaker 1>Broadway debut as Young Nalla. Ania joins a lineage of

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<v Speaker 1>talented women who have portrayed Young Naala over the years,

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<v Speaker 1>cause I think it's Kowana s Marie, the actress who

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<v Speaker 1>originated the role of Young Naala on Broadway in The

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<v Speaker 1>Lion King's nineteen ninety seven debut, shared her best wishes

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<v Speaker 1>for Nya with botwc quote. I've seen many young talented

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<v Speaker 1>girls fill the shoes of young Nala on Broadway, and

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<v Speaker 1>each and every one of them kills it, bringing their

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<v Speaker 1>own unique spin. I have no doubts that this will

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<v Speaker 1>be any different. Wishing Nia all the best. All right,

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<v Speaker 1>So here is my audit audible audible. There it is.

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<v Speaker 1>There we go. I'm thinking audio. So that's like an

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<v Speaker 1>audio thing I found you got you, okay, appreciate you man.

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<v Speaker 1>Audible audible.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>We came in the studio today and you know, we

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<v Speaker 1>had our show prepared, we knew what we were going

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<v Speaker 1>to talk about, and Q shared a story with me

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<v Speaker 1>and I cut them off as I do, and I says, no,

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<v Speaker 1>that belongs on the radio. So I don't even need

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<v Speaker 1>to give this any any background. The floor is yours. Cue.

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<v Speaker 2>So in the in the name of an audible rams

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<v Speaker 2>is holding true to me having no idea what he

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<v Speaker 2>w talking about it till right now. And this one

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<v Speaker 2>is a little more difficult for me than most because

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<v Speaker 2>it hits a little closer to home than usual, as

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<v Speaker 2>close to home as it can, as close to home

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<v Speaker 2>as possible. Actually, So if you guys follow me on

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<v Speaker 2>social media or if you know me personally, the love

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<v Speaker 2>that I have for my children is probably the most

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<v Speaker 2>obvious thing.

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<v Speaker 1>About me and my life.

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<v Speaker 2>And years ago, when we started on this journey, I

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<v Speaker 2>would have questions about, you know, at what point do

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<v Speaker 2>our beautiful children turn into something else for everyone else?

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<v Speaker 2>Because I remember the first time I posted a picture

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<v Speaker 2>of my son, and subsequently, every time I post a

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<v Speaker 2>picture of my kids, the reaction is always, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>hard eye emojis and sunshine and butterflies and rainbows, crowns

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<v Speaker 2>and lightning boats and all kind of incredible things. But

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<v Speaker 2>I know, just from growing up black in this country,

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<v Speaker 2>that that's not something that lasts forever. No matter how

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<v Speaker 2>beautiful we think our children are, Eventually there comes a

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<v Speaker 2>time where the world stops seeing them that way. And

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<v Speaker 2>I prayed that that would be years from now. I

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<v Speaker 2>prayed that that would be a lot of years from now.

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<v Speaker 2>Except when my first grader got home from school today.

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<v Speaker 2>As I'm rushing to get to the studio, his mother

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<v Speaker 2>told me, Hey, we need to talk, and I'm like, listen,

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<v Speaker 2>we can talk later. I got to get to work,

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<v Speaker 2>and instead of trying to explain to me why we

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<v Speaker 2>needed to talk so urgently, she just told me, your

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<v Speaker 2>son got kicked and called an effing inward in school today.

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<v Speaker 1>He's six years old.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so you're right, we need to talk and I

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<v Speaker 2>can be late to work because damn not today, not already,

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<v Speaker 2>not before he even knows what that word means. And

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<v Speaker 2>I guess I'm thankful that he doesn't all the way

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<v Speaker 2>no right, because he got kicked and called a bad

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<v Speaker 2>word is how he feels now, sitting at home waiting

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<v Speaker 2>for me to come home and further dive into his

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<v Speaker 2>experience today. But he's six, And when we get off

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<v Speaker 2>of the show today, I'm going to post some pictures

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<v Speaker 2>of my beautiful kids so I can smile and so

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<v Speaker 2>I can be happy, and so people can kind of

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<v Speaker 2>get an idea of all you have to do to

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<v Speaker 2>be called that word is just be him and look

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<v Speaker 2>like him.

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<v Speaker 1>That's it.

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<v Speaker 2>He's on the receiving end of punches and kicks while

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<v Speaker 2>being called this name. That's a hate crime, by the way,

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm so much more upset by the language than

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<v Speaker 2>the physicality. Ironically, to the tribe, to the community, to

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<v Speaker 2>the team, to everybody that listens to the show, I

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<v Speaker 2>have no idea what my experience is going to be

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<v Speaker 2>like at his school tomorrow. I am not proud of

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<v Speaker 2>how not in control I am of my emotions, and

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<v Speaker 2>the best case scenario I go to the school and

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<v Speaker 2>the principle and the parent of the other kids say, hey,

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<v Speaker 2>this was awful. The kid's going to be expelled and

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<v Speaker 2>we're sorry. Best case scenario, right, Except we live in

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<v Speaker 2>the United States of America, where people have he Man

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<v Speaker 2>body Trump flags outside of their houses, and it doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>tend to go that way for us, especially in cases

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<v Speaker 2>like this, because this other kid has to be seven

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<v Speaker 2>or eight, so not much older, and had to learn

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<v Speaker 2>that language and feel that way based on something It

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<v Speaker 2>can't be based on any experiences the kid has had,

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<v Speaker 2>so I'm guessing it's something that was taught by and

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<v Speaker 2>learn from the kid's parents.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's important to point out that the kid that

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<v Speaker 1>did this to your son was not black.

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<v Speaker 2>Correct, So yeah, you guys, I don't I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>what this is going to be like tomorrow. I have

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<v Speaker 2>to show up as the most polished, most polite, most professional,

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<v Speaker 2>most calm version of myself because any anger or emotion

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<v Speaker 2>or aggression on my side is going to be seen

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<v Speaker 2>as unwarranted and exactly what they think we are, right,

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<v Speaker 2>we are the We are the aggressive mean culture, the

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<v Speaker 2>aggressive mean people, the violent criminal people. So I have

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<v Speaker 2>to show up for my son, who was the victim

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<v Speaker 2>two times here, you know, insulted, assaulted, disrespected. I have

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<v Speaker 2>to show up as his dad and his protector, humbly

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<v Speaker 2>and calm and respectable and kind and patient. The parent

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<v Speaker 2>of the other kid gets to show up however he

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<v Speaker 2>feels like, and I get to show up in a

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<v Speaker 2>parking lot.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know what the other side of this conversation

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<v Speaker 2>is going to look like. But it is a conversation

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<v Speaker 2>that I was not prepared to have with my kid,

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<v Speaker 2>yet I wanted him. And this is a conversation that

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<v Speaker 2>I've had with every father in my life about the win. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>you and I just talked about it, and they've all

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<v Speaker 2>said to me, what I'm talking about to a man.

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<v Speaker 2>Let him be a kid first, before he has to

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<v Speaker 2>be a black kid.

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<v Speaker 1>Let him enjoy his childhood.

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<v Speaker 2>Let him not have to deal with such heavy topics

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<v Speaker 2>until he has to. And I always thought he wouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>have to until there was at least a teen on

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<v Speaker 2>the other side of his age.

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<v Speaker 1>My son is six years.

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<v Speaker 2>Old, and after this show, I have to go home

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<v Speaker 2>and explain to him what it means to be called

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<v Speaker 2>an effing in word, and then teach him that he's

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<v Speaker 2>not to react to it, that words don't hurt and

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<v Speaker 2>he's not that, and to keep his composure and somehow

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<v Speaker 2>compromise by flexing or sub merging or hiding his dignity.

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<v Speaker 2>You cannot respond to that the way that you want to.

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<v Speaker 1>Son.

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<v Speaker 2>Now that I've made you aware of what that means,

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<v Speaker 2>you now have to pretend it doesn't mean anything when

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<v Speaker 2>someone says it to you. You now have to be

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<v Speaker 2>the better version of a child and interactions like this,

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<v Speaker 2>and who knows that the school will even be as

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<v Speaker 2>offended as I am. So then what you know what

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<v Speaker 2>I mean? Do I do? I take my kid out

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<v Speaker 2>of this school where he's a four point zero student

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<v Speaker 2>in both languages. By the way, let me flex for

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<v Speaker 2>my kid. He's in a dual language emerging school. He's

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<v Speaker 2>a four point of student in English and Spanish. Do

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<v Speaker 2>I take him out of this school to protect him

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<v Speaker 2>if they won't? Right here, am I playing the victim

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<v Speaker 2>because I'm so upset about what my son had to

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<v Speaker 2>go through today. If his parents stand on what their

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<v Speaker 2>kids said to my kid, what other choice do you?

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<v Speaker 2>Why just keep a smile on my face and remain

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<v Speaker 2>calm and then interaction with them, Like there's a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of examples that I have to be for my son

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<v Speaker 2>in real time in a situation that I've never been in.

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<v Speaker 2>And this is from someone whose mother is from the

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<v Speaker 2>Deep South, making Georgia Bibb County to be specific. So

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<v Speaker 2>half of my childhood was spent in the Deep South.

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<v Speaker 2>I've never been called an effing inward in my forties.

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<v Speaker 2>Now my kid is six and that's his experience already.

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<v Speaker 2>So from here, I honestly don't know, you guys, if

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<v Speaker 2>you could send me some messages up and heard maybe

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<v Speaker 2>some advice. I have no idea idea how to show

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<v Speaker 2>up for him at his school tomorrow because his dad,

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<v Speaker 2>as much as I wish I was. I am not

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<v Speaker 2>good with my emotions right, So I'm gonna, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>put a collared shirt on, and again I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>try to show up as the best version of myself.

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<v Speaker 1>Talk with your high voice, you know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 2>And I also have to understand that Grayson is watching me.

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<v Speaker 2>He's paying attention to how I'm going to handle this situation.

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<v Speaker 2>So I have to be the right example for him.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's the right example always to be the one

0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:40.560
<v Speaker 2>who shrinks a little bit to make sure everyone else

0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:43.520
<v Speaker 2>is comfortable while they disrespect, while they demean, while they

0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:46.360
<v Speaker 2>tear you down, like this is very very This is

0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:48.560
<v Speaker 2>new territory for me, y'all, and I do not know

0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:51.720
<v Speaker 2>how how I'm supposed to handle this?

0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:56.880
<v Speaker 1>Can I can I add something you might remember? This

0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:59.360
<v Speaker 1>cue is one of our first episodes that we ever

0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:08.640
<v Speaker 1>did Civic Cipher, and we responded to a listener saying, like,

0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:12.520
<v Speaker 1>why do black people get so upset when you hear

0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:15.960
<v Speaker 1>the N word? Can't you just cause it to mean nothing? Right?

0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:18.839
<v Speaker 1>And I think that what you've done right now is

0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:24.640
<v Speaker 1>kind of given us a glimpse into what the why

0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:28.040
<v Speaker 1>behind that, But also you've given us a glimpse into

0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:35.600
<v Speaker 1>the strength of black people in this country because there's been,

0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:39.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, a time when there were no repercussions for

0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:43.440
<v Speaker 1>not even just calling black people out of their name.

0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:45.640
<v Speaker 1>But you could do whatever you want, strength someone up

0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:47.880
<v Speaker 1>in a tree, you set them on fire, whatever. If

0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:51.640
<v Speaker 1>you could overpower a black person, then you know, yours

0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:53.840
<v Speaker 1>to do what you wanted with, provided that they weren't

0:14:53.840 --> 0:15:00.640
<v Speaker 1>someone else's property. So there's something that I think that

0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:08.440
<v Speaker 1>we need to establish. Yes, people deserve to be treated fairly,

0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:12.200
<v Speaker 1>people deserves equal access, blah blah blah, all those sorts

0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:17.280
<v Speaker 1>of things. There's an element that I think gets overlooked

0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:20.840
<v Speaker 1>and it's very important, and once I say it, I

0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:25.520
<v Speaker 1>know that our listeners will appreciate it. But people deserve dignity.

0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:30.840
<v Speaker 1>When you deny someone their dignity, it's something that's almost

0:15:30.880 --> 0:15:38.000
<v Speaker 1>foundational to the human experience, right, we deserve dignity. And

0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:43.280
<v Speaker 1>to reflect back on our ancestors in this country who

0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:48.120
<v Speaker 1>lived they were born, lived short lives, and died without

0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:52.440
<v Speaker 1>a modicum of dignity, I think shows the strength of

0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:59.480
<v Speaker 1>those people the well from which we sprung. But you know,

0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:04.520
<v Speaker 1>with time comes progress. As we've learned throughout the all

0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:10.000
<v Speaker 1>of humanity. With time comes progress. So sorry, conservatives, this

0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:15.120
<v Speaker 1>is how it goes. It's inevitable. You know, we change,

0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:24.320
<v Speaker 1>we grow. Our tendency is not to regress overall. And

0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:30.160
<v Speaker 1>with the change and with the growth comes the capacity

0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:34.920
<v Speaker 1>for black people in this country to have the human

0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:41.840
<v Speaker 1>component to our experience known as dignity. Right, And that

0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:47.120
<v Speaker 1>word flies in the face of that dignity. That word

0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.760
<v Speaker 1>is a word that people who look like me and

0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:56.200
<v Speaker 1>you and young Grayson often heard as the last word

0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:59.840
<v Speaker 1>they heard in their lifetime as their life was being

0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:09.560
<v Speaker 1>left out of existence. That word is upsetting on a

0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:13.320
<v Speaker 1>cellular level. And if doctor iya Afo was here, she

0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:17.439
<v Speaker 1>could articulate the scientific basis of that statement better than

0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:20.720
<v Speaker 1>I could. But we indeed have a show together where

0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:27.920
<v Speaker 1>she discusses generational trauma. And for people that still push

0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:35.639
<v Speaker 1>back against this, I say simply, it is unkind and impolite.

0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:39.040
<v Speaker 1>And if you can't understand at least that, then we're

0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:45.280
<v Speaker 1>never going to have a conversation based in fellowship and growth.

0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:50.359
<v Speaker 2>As fathers of young black men, young black boys, in

0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:55.520
<v Speaker 2>the cases of our your youngest and my oldest, what

0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:56.680
<v Speaker 2>is the lesson here?

0:17:57.880 --> 0:17:58.080
<v Speaker 1>Right?

0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:01.159
<v Speaker 2>Like we watched a mo that a friend of ours

0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:06.720
<v Speaker 2>wrote and directed called American Skin. And in this movie,

0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:13.000
<v Speaker 2>this father, while teaching his son to be a respected, respectable, kind, intelligent,

0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:17.920
<v Speaker 2>proud young man, has to simultaneously teach him to shrink

0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:23.960
<v Speaker 2>and deny himself dignity and allow himself to be mistreated

0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:27.040
<v Speaker 2>and disrespected in cases where his life could be put

0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:31.480
<v Speaker 2>into danger by those who would love to instigate that

0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:35.360
<v Speaker 2>type of interaction from him by using language like effing inward.

0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.840
<v Speaker 2>We have to simultaneously teach them to make it home

0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:46.920
<v Speaker 2>to us by letting these things slide, while also trying

0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:49.120
<v Speaker 2>to teach them that they're kings and should be respected.

0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:52.360
<v Speaker 2>And like, how do we walk this typewrote And I'm

0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:54.919
<v Speaker 2>not just talking to Ramses, I'm talking to our listeners

0:18:54.960 --> 0:18:56.640
<v Speaker 2>and I'm talking to those of you that are joining

0:18:56.760 --> 0:19:00.000
<v Speaker 2>us in a live as well. How does this duality?

0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:02.680
<v Speaker 2>Because I had this conversation when Gray was first born

0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:05.720
<v Speaker 2>again with every father that I knew, When do I

0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:08.040
<v Speaker 2>have this conversation? When should this start? How do I

0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:10.120
<v Speaker 2>prepare for it? And like I said to a man,

0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:14.680
<v Speaker 2>let your kid be a kid first, I thought I'd

0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:17.840
<v Speaker 2>be able to do so This is first grade. This

0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:21.440
<v Speaker 2>is not junior high school. This is okay, the first

0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:23.359
<v Speaker 2>time where he's kind of got some autonomy where he

0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:26.760
<v Speaker 2>spends the whole day away from me. He didn't get

0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:30.479
<v Speaker 2>through year one before he comes home with this. And

0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:32.879
<v Speaker 2>again he came home with this. The school didn't call me,

0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:36.560
<v Speaker 2>This wasn't from a teacher or a counselor or a principal.

0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:42.040
<v Speaker 2>He brought this story home. So, as you could imagine,

0:19:42.160 --> 0:19:44.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm a little bit more annoyed that the first time

0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:48.199
<v Speaker 2>I'm hearing of this is him coming home after school.

0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:52.080
<v Speaker 2>So again, I get to the school tomorrow and I

0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:56.760
<v Speaker 2>have to understand how my son was assaulted, how he

0:19:56.840 --> 0:20:00.000
<v Speaker 2>was kicked and punched before being called an effing in word,

0:20:00.200 --> 0:20:02.199
<v Speaker 2>and no one reached out to me.

0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:03.480
<v Speaker 1>How does no one know this?

0:20:05.160 --> 0:20:06.920
<v Speaker 2>And again I have to show up and hope that

0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:09.120
<v Speaker 2>the best case scenario, the parents of the other kid

0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:12.359
<v Speaker 2>and the principle simply apologize, the kid gets expelled, and

0:20:12.359 --> 0:20:12.920
<v Speaker 2>I get to just.

0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:13.600
<v Speaker 1>Come home.

0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:17.679
<v Speaker 2>An ex hill. But we all know there are so

0:20:17.760 --> 0:20:20.639
<v Speaker 2>many different ways that this interaction can go tomorrow that

0:20:20.720 --> 0:20:24.080
<v Speaker 2>I won't even pretend that I'm prepared for. So please,

0:20:24.119 --> 0:20:26.840
<v Speaker 2>you guys, whatever you can give me positive vibes, I

0:20:26.920 --> 0:20:27.200
<v Speaker 2>need it.

0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:31.919
<v Speaker 1>I think that what you're doing is is illuminating the

0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:37.480
<v Speaker 1>duality of the black experience, because both of the things

0:20:37.480 --> 0:20:42.480
<v Speaker 1>that you're discussing are true. There is a version of

0:20:42.560 --> 0:20:50.639
<v Speaker 1>our existence that absolutely demands and insists that we have

0:20:50.760 --> 0:20:56.040
<v Speaker 1>our dignity, we have our respect, that we are treated equitably,

0:20:56.920 --> 0:21:02.920
<v Speaker 1>et cetera. And then there's a part of us that exists.

0:21:03.640 --> 0:21:06.359
<v Speaker 1>Both parts are taught to us. Hence the duality that

0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:09.639
<v Speaker 1>I mentioned. There's a part of us that recognizes that

0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:19.600
<v Speaker 1>we are in the middle of a tough fight and

0:21:20.080 --> 0:21:26.640
<v Speaker 1>sometimes you got to know when to survive, you know.

0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:35.040
<v Speaker 1>And so I recognize how you have to explain what

0:21:35.080 --> 0:21:39.000
<v Speaker 1>the word means to a six year old at the

0:21:39.040 --> 0:21:42.560
<v Speaker 1>same time explaining that he is not that despite being

0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:50.560
<v Speaker 1>called that, perhaps even explain how we have co opted

0:21:50.600 --> 0:21:54.720
<v Speaker 1>a version of that word for ourselves as a way

0:21:54.720 --> 0:22:01.480
<v Speaker 1>of expressing fellowship, brotherhood, endearment, and on top of that,

0:22:04.000 --> 0:22:11.160
<v Speaker 1>explaining to him that while it is absolutely insulting from

0:22:11.280 --> 0:22:16.440
<v Speaker 1>the wrong set of lips, there are instances where he

0:22:16.520 --> 0:22:20.760
<v Speaker 1>may have to stand up for himself and affirm his

0:22:22.000 --> 0:22:25.000
<v Speaker 1>humanity beyond the definition of that word, and there are

0:22:25.040 --> 0:22:27.960
<v Speaker 1>instances when you may have to survive and come home

0:22:27.960 --> 0:22:28.560
<v Speaker 1>to his father.

0:22:28.760 --> 0:22:32.200
<v Speaker 2>It's a complicated conversation to have with a six year old.

0:22:32.359 --> 0:22:35.639
<v Speaker 2>By the way, my son is six. And after this

0:22:35.720 --> 0:22:38.040
<v Speaker 2>I will be posting some pictures of my beautiful kid

0:22:38.040 --> 0:22:41.280
<v Speaker 2>because I'm proud of him and love and adore him.

0:22:41.359 --> 0:22:44.200
<v Speaker 2>And I want you to see what an effing inward

0:22:44.359 --> 0:22:48.240
<v Speaker 2>looks like two people who have just determined that that's

0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:53.560
<v Speaker 2>what we are. Yeah, I'm not okay on this one, y'all.

0:22:53.920 --> 0:22:55.040
<v Speaker 2>I won't even pretend to be.

0:22:55.920 --> 0:22:58.360
<v Speaker 1>Well, I got you