Speaker 1: Broadcasting from the Hip Hop Weekly Studios. I'd like to
Speaker 1: welcome you to another episode of Civic Cipher, where our
Speaker 1: mission is to foster allyship, empathy and understanding. I'm your host, ramses.
Speaker 2: Job, he is rams' Jah, I am q Ward. You
Speaker 2: are tuned in the civic cycle.
Speaker 1: Indeed you are, and we have a show that is
Speaker 1: a bit of a mixed bag for you today.
Speaker 3: There is one part of the show that we are
Speaker 3: looking forward to sharing with you, and that is, you know,
Speaker 3: some happier headlines, some things that have been in the
Speaker 3: news that feel like maybe there's.
Speaker 1: Indeed that moral arc of the universe that bends toward justice.
Speaker 1: That you know, not everything is doom and gloom when
Speaker 1: it comes to black life in America, and I think
Speaker 1: it's important for us to acknowledge moments like this when
Speaker 1: they happen. On this show.
Speaker 4: Obviously, we deal with a lot of the tragedies that
Speaker 4: all our community and adjacent and communities of our marginalized
Speaker 4: brothers and sisters that are on this journey with us.
Speaker 1: But every so often we get a story here or
Speaker 1: there that suggests that, you know, maybe people aren't so
Speaker 1: bad after all, and things aren't so bad, and so
Speaker 1: I'm really excited to share a few of the headlines.
Speaker 1: We're able to put a few of them together and
Speaker 1: just kind of go into details. That doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: the stories behind the headlines aren't grim, but again, around here,
Speaker 1: a lot of times we don't get the happy conclusion
Speaker 1: or the silver lining, or you know, some sort of
Speaker 1: completion that is satisfactory. And so we're excited to share
Speaker 1: that today. And then the other part of the show
Speaker 1: is going to be and how do you say it?
Speaker 1: An audible? Is that the right word?
Speaker 2: Listen, bro I wish I could give you the proper
Speaker 2: articulations like aotball or annunciation.
Speaker 1: Well it seems like a word, but yeah, all right, Well,
Speaker 1: stay tuned. You'll find out in the first part of
Speaker 1: the show that we are going to discuss some ebony
Speaker 1: excellence show. I think we shall. So Today's Ebony Excellence
Speaker 1: is sponsored by Major Threads for innovative fashionable sportswear checkmajorthreads
Speaker 1: dot com. Because of them, we can dot Com is
Speaker 1: the source for Today's Ebony Excellence. This came from QE.
Speaker 1: He sent it over there as a beautiful little girl
Speaker 1: who is taking Broadway by storm with her black afropuffs
Speaker 1: and her beautiful smile. I'll share. In the dazzling world
Speaker 1: of Broadway, the dreams of one young actress are taking
Speaker 1: center stage. Nia Thompson, at the tender age of twelve,
Speaker 1: has secured her place in the limelight as the new
Speaker 1: Young Nala in the iconic production of The Lion King.
Speaker 1: Nia's passion for the stage ignited during a pivotal moment
Speaker 1: in her childhood. Her mother recalls quote, I took Nia
Speaker 1: to see Keki Palmer in her historic performance as the
Speaker 1: first Black Disney princess on Broadway in Cinderella. Representation matters, y'all,
Speaker 1: absolutely all right. Nia's love for The Lion King blossomed
Speaker 1: on her eighth birthday when she set foot in the
Speaker 1: Minskoff Theater for the first time. A backstage tour guided
Speaker 1: by the late Sharon Lynn Williams, a seven year ensemble member,
Speaker 1: became a pivotal moment. When asked what she wanted to
Speaker 1: be when she grew up, Nia confidently, confidently declared, I
Speaker 1: want to be in The Lion King. Four years later,
Speaker 1: on the eve of her twelfth birthday, Nia made her
Speaker 1: Broadway debut as Young Nalla. Ania joins a lineage of
Speaker 1: talented women who have portrayed Young Naala over the years,
Speaker 1: cause I think it's Kowana s Marie, the actress who
Speaker 1: originated the role of Young Naala on Broadway in The
Speaker 1: Lion King's nineteen ninety seven debut, shared her best wishes
Speaker 1: for Nya with botwc quote. I've seen many young talented
Speaker 1: girls fill the shoes of young Nala on Broadway, and
Speaker 1: each and every one of them kills it, bringing their
Speaker 1: own unique spin. I have no doubts that this will
Speaker 1: be any different. Wishing Nia all the best. All right,
Speaker 1: So here is my audit audible audible. There it is.
Speaker 1: There we go. I'm thinking audio. So that's like an
Speaker 1: audio thing I found you got you, okay, appreciate you man.
Speaker 1: Audible audible.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 1: We came in the studio today and you know, we
Speaker 1: had our show prepared, we knew what we were going
Speaker 1: to talk about, and Q shared a story with me
Speaker 1: and I cut them off as I do, and I says, no,
Speaker 1: that belongs on the radio. So I don't even need
Speaker 1: to give this any any background. The floor is yours. Cue.
Speaker 2: So in the in the name of an audible rams
Speaker 2: is holding true to me having no idea what he
Speaker 2: w talking about it till right now. And this one
Speaker 2: is a little more difficult for me than most because
Speaker 2: it hits a little closer to home than usual, as
Speaker 2: close to home as it can, as close to home
Speaker 2: as possible. Actually, So if you guys follow me on
Speaker 2: social media or if you know me personally, the love
Speaker 2: that I have for my children is probably the most
Speaker 2: obvious thing.
Speaker 1: About me and my life.
Speaker 2: And years ago, when we started on this journey, I
Speaker 2: would have questions about, you know, at what point do
Speaker 2: our beautiful children turn into something else for everyone else?
Speaker 2: Because I remember the first time I posted a picture
Speaker 2: of my son, and subsequently, every time I post a
Speaker 2: picture of my kids, the reaction is always, you know,
Speaker 2: hard eye emojis and sunshine and butterflies and rainbows, crowns
Speaker 2: and lightning boats and all kind of incredible things. But
Speaker 2: I know, just from growing up black in this country,
Speaker 2: that that's not something that lasts forever. No matter how
Speaker 2: beautiful we think our children are, Eventually there comes a
Speaker 2: time where the world stops seeing them that way. And
Speaker 2: I prayed that that would be years from now. I
Speaker 2: prayed that that would be a lot of years from now.
Speaker 2: Except when my first grader got home from school today.
Speaker 2: As I'm rushing to get to the studio, his mother
Speaker 2: told me, Hey, we need to talk, and I'm like, listen,
Speaker 2: we can talk later. I got to get to work,
Speaker 2: and instead of trying to explain to me why we
Speaker 2: needed to talk so urgently, she just told me, your
Speaker 2: son got kicked and called an effing inward in school today.
Speaker 1: He's six years old.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you're right, we need to talk and I
Speaker 2: can be late to work because damn not today, not already,
Speaker 2: not before he even knows what that word means. And
Speaker 2: I guess I'm thankful that he doesn't all the way
Speaker 2: no right, because he got kicked and called a bad
Speaker 2: word is how he feels now, sitting at home waiting
Speaker 2: for me to come home and further dive into his
Speaker 2: experience today. But he's six, And when we get off
Speaker 2: of the show today, I'm going to post some pictures
Speaker 2: of my beautiful kids so I can smile and so
Speaker 2: I can be happy, and so people can kind of
Speaker 2: get an idea of all you have to do to
Speaker 2: be called that word is just be him and look
Speaker 2: like him.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: He's on the receiving end of punches and kicks while
Speaker 2: being called this name. That's a hate crime, by the way,
Speaker 2: And I'm so much more upset by the language than
Speaker 2: the physicality. Ironically, to the tribe, to the community, to
Speaker 2: the team, to everybody that listens to the show, I
Speaker 2: have no idea what my experience is going to be
Speaker 2: like at his school tomorrow. I am not proud of
Speaker 2: how not in control I am of my emotions, and
Speaker 2: the best case scenario I go to the school and
Speaker 2: the principle and the parent of the other kids say, hey,
Speaker 2: this was awful. The kid's going to be expelled and
Speaker 2: we're sorry. Best case scenario, right, Except we live in
Speaker 2: the United States of America, where people have he Man
Speaker 2: body Trump flags outside of their houses, and it doesn't
Speaker 2: tend to go that way for us, especially in cases
Speaker 2: like this, because this other kid has to be seven
Speaker 2: or eight, so not much older, and had to learn
Speaker 2: that language and feel that way based on something It
Speaker 2: can't be based on any experiences the kid has had,
Speaker 2: so I'm guessing it's something that was taught by and
Speaker 2: learn from the kid's parents.
Speaker 1: And it's important to point out that the kid that
Speaker 1: did this to your son was not black.
Speaker 2: Correct, So yeah, you guys, I don't I don't know
Speaker 2: what this is going to be like tomorrow. I have
Speaker 2: to show up as the most polished, most polite, most professional,
Speaker 2: most calm version of myself because any anger or emotion
Speaker 2: or aggression on my side is going to be seen
Speaker 2: as unwarranted and exactly what they think we are, right,
Speaker 2: we are the We are the aggressive mean culture, the
Speaker 2: aggressive mean people, the violent criminal people. So I have
Speaker 2: to show up for my son, who was the victim
Speaker 2: two times here, you know, insulted, assaulted, disrespected. I have
Speaker 2: to show up as his dad and his protector, humbly
Speaker 2: and calm and respectable and kind and patient. The parent
Speaker 2: of the other kid gets to show up however he
Speaker 2: feels like, and I get to show up in a
Speaker 2: parking lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't know what the other side of this conversation
Speaker 2: is going to look like. But it is a conversation
Speaker 2: that I was not prepared to have with my kid,
Speaker 2: yet I wanted him. And this is a conversation that
Speaker 2: I've had with every father in my life about the win. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you and I just talked about it, and they've all
Speaker 2: said to me, what I'm talking about to a man.
Speaker 2: Let him be a kid first, before he has to
Speaker 2: be a black kid.
Speaker 1: Let him enjoy his childhood.
Speaker 2: Let him not have to deal with such heavy topics
Speaker 2: until he has to. And I always thought he wouldn't
Speaker 2: have to until there was at least a teen on
Speaker 2: the other side of his age.
Speaker 1: My son is six years.
Speaker 2: Old, and after this show, I have to go home
Speaker 2: and explain to him what it means to be called
Speaker 2: an effing in word, and then teach him that he's
Speaker 2: not to react to it, that words don't hurt and
Speaker 2: he's not that, and to keep his composure and somehow
Speaker 2: compromise by flexing or sub merging or hiding his dignity.
Speaker 2: You cannot respond to that the way that you want to.
Speaker 1: Son.
Speaker 2: Now that I've made you aware of what that means,
Speaker 2: you now have to pretend it doesn't mean anything when
Speaker 2: someone says it to you. You now have to be
Speaker 2: the better version of a child and interactions like this,
Speaker 2: and who knows that the school will even be as
Speaker 2: offended as I am. So then what you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? Do I do? I take my kid out
Speaker 2: of this school where he's a four point zero student
Speaker 2: in both languages. By the way, let me flex for
Speaker 2: my kid. He's in a dual language emerging school. He's
Speaker 2: a four point of student in English and Spanish. Do
Speaker 2: I take him out of this school to protect him
Speaker 2: if they won't? Right here, am I playing the victim
Speaker 2: because I'm so upset about what my son had to
Speaker 2: go through today. If his parents stand on what their
Speaker 2: kids said to my kid, what other choice do you?
Speaker 2: Why just keep a smile on my face and remain
Speaker 2: calm and then interaction with them, Like there's a lot
Speaker 2: of examples that I have to be for my son
Speaker 2: in real time in a situation that I've never been in.
Speaker 2: And this is from someone whose mother is from the
Speaker 2: Deep South, making Georgia Bibb County to be specific. So
Speaker 2: half of my childhood was spent in the Deep South.
Speaker 2: I've never been called an effing inward in my forties.
Speaker 2: Now my kid is six and that's his experience already.
Speaker 2: So from here, I honestly don't know, you guys, if
Speaker 2: you could send me some messages up and heard maybe
Speaker 2: some advice. I have no idea idea how to show
Speaker 2: up for him at his school tomorrow because his dad,
Speaker 2: as much as I wish I was. I am not
Speaker 2: good with my emotions right, So I'm gonna, you know,
Speaker 2: put a collared shirt on, and again I'm going to
Speaker 2: try to show up as the best version of myself.
Speaker 1: Talk with your high voice, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: And I also have to understand that Grayson is watching me.
Speaker 2: He's paying attention to how I'm going to handle this situation.
Speaker 2: So I have to be the right example for him.
Speaker 2: But it's the right example always to be the one
Speaker 2: who shrinks a little bit to make sure everyone else
Speaker 2: is comfortable while they disrespect, while they demean, while they
Speaker 2: tear you down, like this is very very This is
Speaker 2: new territory for me, y'all, and I do not know
Speaker 2: how how I'm supposed to handle this?
Speaker 1: Can I can I add something you might remember? This
Speaker 1: cue is one of our first episodes that we ever
Speaker 1: did Civic Cipher, and we responded to a listener saying, like,
Speaker 1: why do black people get so upset when you hear
Speaker 1: the N word? Can't you just cause it to mean nothing? Right?
Speaker 1: And I think that what you've done right now is
Speaker 1: kind of given us a glimpse into what the why
Speaker 1: behind that, But also you've given us a glimpse into
Speaker 1: the strength of black people in this country because there's been,
Speaker 1: you know, a time when there were no repercussions for
Speaker 1: not even just calling black people out of their name.
Speaker 1: But you could do whatever you want, strength someone up
Speaker 1: in a tree, you set them on fire, whatever. If
Speaker 1: you could overpower a black person, then you know, yours
Speaker 1: to do what you wanted with, provided that they weren't
Speaker 1: someone else's property. So there's something that I think that
Speaker 1: we need to establish. Yes, people deserve to be treated fairly,
Speaker 1: people deserves equal access, blah blah blah, all those sorts
Speaker 1: of things. There's an element that I think gets overlooked
Speaker 1: and it's very important, and once I say it, I
Speaker 1: know that our listeners will appreciate it. But people deserve dignity.
Speaker 1: When you deny someone their dignity, it's something that's almost
Speaker 1: foundational to the human experience, right, we deserve dignity. And
Speaker 1: to reflect back on our ancestors in this country who
Speaker 1: lived they were born, lived short lives, and died without
Speaker 1: a modicum of dignity, I think shows the strength of
Speaker 1: those people the well from which we sprung. But you know,
Speaker 1: with time comes progress. As we've learned throughout the all
Speaker 1: of humanity. With time comes progress. So sorry, conservatives, this
Speaker 1: is how it goes. It's inevitable. You know, we change,
Speaker 1: we grow. Our tendency is not to regress overall. And
Speaker 1: with the change and with the growth comes the capacity
Speaker 1: for black people in this country to have the human
Speaker 1: component to our experience known as dignity. Right, And that
Speaker 1: word flies in the face of that dignity. That word
Speaker 1: is a word that people who look like me and
Speaker 1: you and young Grayson often heard as the last word
Speaker 1: they heard in their lifetime as their life was being
Speaker 1: left out of existence. That word is upsetting on a
Speaker 1: cellular level. And if doctor iya Afo was here, she
Speaker 1: could articulate the scientific basis of that statement better than
Speaker 1: I could. But we indeed have a show together where
Speaker 1: she discusses generational trauma. And for people that still push
Speaker 1: back against this, I say simply, it is unkind and impolite.
Speaker 1: And if you can't understand at least that, then we're
Speaker 1: never going to have a conversation based in fellowship and growth.
Speaker 2: As fathers of young black men, young black boys, in
Speaker 2: the cases of our your youngest and my oldest, what
Speaker 2: is the lesson here?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Like we watched a mo that a friend of ours
Speaker 2: wrote and directed called American Skin. And in this movie,
Speaker 2: this father, while teaching his son to be a respected, respectable, kind, intelligent,
Speaker 2: proud young man, has to simultaneously teach him to shrink
Speaker 2: and deny himself dignity and allow himself to be mistreated
Speaker 2: and disrespected in cases where his life could be put
Speaker 2: into danger by those who would love to instigate that
Speaker 2: type of interaction from him by using language like effing inward.
Speaker 2: We have to simultaneously teach them to make it home
Speaker 2: to us by letting these things slide, while also trying
Speaker 2: to teach them that they're kings and should be respected.
Speaker 2: And like, how do we walk this typewrote And I'm
Speaker 2: not just talking to Ramses, I'm talking to our listeners
Speaker 2: and I'm talking to those of you that are joining
Speaker 2: us in a live as well. How does this duality?
Speaker 2: Because I had this conversation when Gray was first born
Speaker 2: again with every father that I knew, When do I
Speaker 2: have this conversation? When should this start? How do I
Speaker 2: prepare for it? And like I said to a man,
Speaker 2: let your kid be a kid first, I thought I'd
Speaker 2: be able to do so This is first grade. This
Speaker 2: is not junior high school. This is okay, the first
Speaker 2: time where he's kind of got some autonomy where he
Speaker 2: spends the whole day away from me. He didn't get
Speaker 2: through year one before he comes home with this. And
Speaker 2: again he came home with this. The school didn't call me,
Speaker 2: This wasn't from a teacher or a counselor or a principal.
Speaker 2: He brought this story home. So, as you could imagine,
Speaker 2: I'm a little bit more annoyed that the first time
Speaker 2: I'm hearing of this is him coming home after school.
Speaker 2: So again, I get to the school tomorrow and I
Speaker 2: have to understand how my son was assaulted, how he
Speaker 2: was kicked and punched before being called an effing in word,
Speaker 2: and no one reached out to me.
Speaker 1: How does no one know this?
Speaker 2: And again I have to show up and hope that
Speaker 2: the best case scenario, the parents of the other kid
Speaker 2: and the principle simply apologize, the kid gets expelled, and
Speaker 2: I get to just.
Speaker 1: Come home.
Speaker 2: An ex hill. But we all know there are so
Speaker 2: many different ways that this interaction can go tomorrow that
Speaker 2: I won't even pretend that I'm prepared for. So please,
Speaker 2: you guys, whatever you can give me positive vibes, I
Speaker 2: need it.
Speaker 1: I think that what you're doing is is illuminating the
Speaker 1: duality of the black experience, because both of the things
Speaker 1: that you're discussing are true. There is a version of
Speaker 1: our existence that absolutely demands and insists that we have
Speaker 1: our dignity, we have our respect, that we are treated equitably,
Speaker 1: et cetera. And then there's a part of us that exists.
Speaker 1: Both parts are taught to us. Hence the duality that
Speaker 1: I mentioned. There's a part of us that recognizes that
Speaker 1: we are in the middle of a tough fight and
Speaker 1: sometimes you got to know when to survive, you know.
Speaker 1: And so I recognize how you have to explain what
Speaker 1: the word means to a six year old at the
Speaker 1: same time explaining that he is not that despite being
Speaker 1: called that, perhaps even explain how we have co opted
Speaker 1: a version of that word for ourselves as a way
Speaker 1: of expressing fellowship, brotherhood, endearment, and on top of that,
Speaker 1: explaining to him that while it is absolutely insulting from
Speaker 1: the wrong set of lips, there are instances where he
Speaker 1: may have to stand up for himself and affirm his
Speaker 1: humanity beyond the definition of that word, and there are
Speaker 1: instances when you may have to survive and come home
Speaker 1: to his father.
Speaker 2: It's a complicated conversation to have with a six year old.
Speaker 2: By the way, my son is six. And after this
Speaker 2: I will be posting some pictures of my beautiful kid
Speaker 2: because I'm proud of him and love and adore him.
Speaker 2: And I want you to see what an effing inward
Speaker 2: looks like two people who have just determined that that's
Speaker 2: what we are. Yeah, I'm not okay on this one, y'all.
Speaker 2: I won't even pretend to be.
Speaker 1: Well, I got you