WEBVTT - J.P. Rosenbaum 0:00:01.040 --> 0:00:06.000 This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:10.840 Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin, Texas. 0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:13.080 I am so excited for this show. Today I did 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:16.279 a Father's Day episode of the most dramatic podcast ever 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:18.600 where I had on three really good friends of mine 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:22.640 and three great dads, Ryan Sutter, Bob Ginny, and JP Rosenbaum. 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:25.840 Obviously they were from my days on The Bachelor and Bachelorette, 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:28.600 just three dads that I really respected and kind of 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:31.440 from different walks of life, in different stages of life, 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:34.680 and it just made me realize I have not really 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:39.120 talked to JP Rosenbaum and I don't know how long. 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:42.080 It's been way too long to catch up, and I 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:45.400 really wanted to know where he is at this stage. 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:49.640 He's been divorced from Ashley. They met on season seven 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:52.080 of The Bacherette, which is crazy to think it was 0:00:52.120 --> 0:00:56.760 that long ago Season seven of The Bachelorette, Ashley Rosenbaum. 0:00:57.240 --> 0:00:59.480 We were in Fiji, they got engaged. It was this 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:03.640 beautiful moment. I actually officiated their wedding. We televised it 0:01:04.000 --> 0:01:06.600 in Pasadena and it was a It was a It 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:09.680 was a lovely wedding and a beautiful couple, and I 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:12.080 was very good friends with them, especially when they lived 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:14.800 in New York. I saw them all the time. Anytime 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:16.480 I went to New York, they were my go to 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:19.280 dinner dates, always saw them. And then they moved down 0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:24.120 to Florida. Unfortunately, life happens, they got divorced, and I 0:01:24.240 --> 0:01:27.120 remain close to both of them. You know, It's one 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:28.800 of the first things I did, as I called and 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:30.760 texted both of them as I love you both, I 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:33.800 know what you're going through. I've been there, and I'm 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:36.679 here to support you and anything that both of you need, 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:38.759 you just say it. And so we've we've all remained 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:41.959 really good friends, and they've been very classy and just 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:45.080 wonderful how they have gone through the whole process of 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:48.880 divorce and starting their lives again. And you know, Ashley 0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:52.320 very publicly happy and dating again, and Jp, I don't know. 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:54.960 I don't know where he is at this stage in 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:57.640 this process of getting on with divorce and getting on 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:01.040 with life and dating and love and all of those things. 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:03.440 And I thought, if I don't know, then you probably 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:06.240 don't know. So let's fix that. Let's dive into it. 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:09.080 My guest today on the Most Traumatic Podcast Effort, my 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:14.040 good friend JP Rosenbaumb, fresh off vacation. We saw on 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:17.720 your social media, Jp Rosenbaumb, good to see you, buddy. 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:20.639 It is thank you for having me. We are way 0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:22.120 we passed you to catch up. 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:24.960 I know we keep saying that eventually. You know what, 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:28.240 So here's the thing. I have a baby being born. 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:33.760 It's not mine, thankfully, no, but we have a baby 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:37.560 that right this. I wanted to drop this on the 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:39.959 podcast with you. We have a baby being born in 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:44.200 the family. No, Lauren's sister is prego and she's giving 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:45.880 birth very soon. So I'm going to be in the 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:48.440 general area and I'm like, you know what, They're not 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:50.160 gonna want me around the house all the time. I 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:52.320 want to be there to see the baby. I'm going 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:54.480 to be an uncle again. I'm really good at that. 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:55.920 And then I'm going to just disappear and I'm going 0:02:55.960 --> 0:03:00.760 to go on a day fishing trip with JP's No, 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:03.679 this is going to happen this fall. I'm going to 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:06.840 tell you the baby's coming, and this is middle of fall. 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:07.800 I'm going to come find you. 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:12.480 Okay, I need a little advance notice because. 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:13.840 I know you got kids. You got kids? 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:16.200 How are the kids? I'm talking about booking the right 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:17.040 fishing trip. 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:20.160 That's what I'm talking about. That is so this is 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:22.160 going to happen because we do we you know what. 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:24.760 I'm at the stage of my life and I am 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:27.240 seventy two years old now, but I am at the 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:29.880 stage in my life. How old are you now? I 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:30.440 really don't know. 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:31.880 I'm not far behind you. 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:35.000 Forty seven, forty seven? Okay, so I got you by 0:03:35.080 --> 0:03:39.000 like four or five years. But I just turned fifty 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:41.800 three and I'm not gonna lie. I don't really care 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:44.680 about getting older. But I'm like, my fifty three that 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:47.120 really seems odd to me. But I'm getting to the 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:49.160 stage in my life where I got to quit promising 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:50.880 stuff and we got to start doing. 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:52.000 Yeah. 0:03:52.640 --> 0:03:53.800 I don't know. Do you have a lot of friends 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:55.520 like that? Because I do. I have very good friends 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:59.560 who I grew up with, and they are masterfully successful 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:03.760 at what they do in their financial field or entrepreneurs 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:06.920 or building businesses, whatever it is. And we're like, when 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:10.640 this happens, we'll do this. And I'm like, guys, what 0:04:10.680 --> 0:04:13.000 will happen next? Is We're going to go to someone's funeral. 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:16.440 Yeah. I think there's always an excuse not to do 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:20.200 things right. And you think you always have enough time, 0:04:20.240 --> 0:04:25.039 There's always going to be enough time. Yeah, but there isn't. 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:28.080 There never is no, So just do just do. 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:31.960 Yeah, tomorrow has promised to no one. And I really 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:35.840 have tried to be better, especially with Lauren and my kids, 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:40.800 just like, hey, do you want I'm a yes, yes 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:43.559 I do. Let's go. Let's pick up and go to Europe. 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:45.280 Let's pick up and go see the kids, Let's pick 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:46.600 up whatever it is. Let's just go. 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:50.640 Yeah. Yeah, you know that, like you have the means, 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:54.359 you have the flexibility. It's just just doing it. You know. 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:57.000 My dad, I think, I don't know, I don't need 0:04:57.040 --> 0:04:59.120 to jump around you, but my dad jump around my mom, 0:04:59.440 --> 0:05:04.080 My mom pasd the way in January. Yes, and you know, 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:07.120 my dad is now at the point where he doesn't 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.680 want to miss anything, birthdays, soccer games, I mean, you 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:13.280 name it, you know. So he's like, you guys are 0:05:13.320 --> 0:05:16.159 going on vacation in Naples. I'm coming. I'm going fishing 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:18.320 again in two weeks down in the Keys. He's coming, 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:21.599 so you know it's not too late. But he's eighty 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:24.359 four years old and now to be doing those things 0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:27.920 and saying yes and not making excuses and just doing 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:31.919 I have really put It's put things into perspective for 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:32.800 me the last month. 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:35.240 Well, because if you wait till you're eighty four, you know, 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:37.320 God bless your dad. I'm so glad he's doing that 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:39.719 because he's going to get that time and your kids 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:42.680 will now remember their grandfather very vividly and on their 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:44.840 fishing trips and stuff. But he's not jumping out and 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:47.040 playing pick a ball. He's not going out and playing golf. 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:50.119 You know, he's not throwing them around the pool. He's 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:52.760 sitting there taking it all in I'm sure at eighty four. 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:54.880 But so that's the thing. It's like we have this 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:58.840 window and look the backside of that window. We're still around, 0:05:58.880 --> 0:06:00.680 but we're not as active as you know, you can 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:02.440 be with the kids. So it's like do it now 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:05.640 and and now you you know, I hate to say this, 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:07.240 but we will get to the point where we're kind 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:09.520 of taking care of our parents and then our kids 0:06:09.520 --> 0:06:11.040 are going to be taking care of us. It's a 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:12.600 circle of life, man. 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:15.440 That that's it. So when you know your original question, 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:19.640 do I friends that that every everyone I know at 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:23.640 this stage of our lives has the same I'm going 0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:27.240 to call out excuses to not do things, and I 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:30.640 find that it's in my court a lot, like I 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:32.679 have to make it happen. I have to do it. Okay, 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:34.320 you're not gonna come to me. I'm gonna come to you. 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:37.039 And and you know, silver lining again with divorces that 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:39.080 you get every other weekend off. So it is a 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:43.320 good thing, more flexible than those you know, married couples, 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:44.840 married friends that I have, and. 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:46.920 So I just I just do And it does take 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.440 someone to just do it. You got to just pull 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:51.520 the ripcord and go do it. And you know, I 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:55.039 have even with my kids when I'm talking about getting 0:06:55.080 --> 0:06:57.000 out and doing stuff like well I didn't get invited 0:06:57.040 --> 0:06:59.000 to this, what it's like, Well did you invite everybody? 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:01.080 Like you know, you you can host the party, you 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:04.480 can host this. You can so you can make that call, 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:06.520 and you can make that trip and just show up. 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:09.000 And by the way, they're always thankful when you do. 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:13.880 It is an interesting perspective. And I do think divorce 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:16.840 then both of us are divorced. You've been divorced four 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:20.000 years now. I think it was like twenty twenty. I'm 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:22.280 going on a lot longer than that. I'm like thirteen 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:24.960 fourteen years and so, but it does. It gives you 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:29.960 that perspective and oddly the time, as you said, divorce 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:33.880 is equally tough and equally I don't want to say lovely, 0:07:34.000 --> 0:07:37.640 but empowering maybe of you have time to do things 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:40.720 and you have kind of the perspective to actually want 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:43.160 to go do those things completely. 0:07:43.200 --> 0:07:46.920 And you know, I laugh sometimes like when I was married, 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:49.760 if we gave each other the space that we kind 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:53.960 of have, that will when we're divorced. Yeah, there's something 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:56.240 to say about that, like be really, you'll be your 0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:58.040 own person and do what you want to do and 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:00.640 not have the stress of raising kids for the day, 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:03.120 for the weekend. You know, you know they're in good hands, 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:05.200 and so there is something to say about that. 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:07.640 It's not you know what, and can we let's dive 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:11.120 into this a little more, because let's just take the 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:13.040 the onus off of this. It's a good thing. And 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:15.480 I hate to say you're right, because I'm doing it 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:19.080 the second time around with Lauren. Lauren and I are 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:24.360 very defensive about giving each other space and time to 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:26.800 go on. She's like, it's amazing. If I go on 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:30.440 a golf trip, She's like, go, go grab JP, grab Wells, 0:08:30.480 --> 0:08:33.000 go go with your boys, y'all go and have a blast. 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:34.640 And I'll get to Pebble Beach and there will be 0:08:34.679 --> 0:08:37.120 a bottle of whiskey or a bottle of wine and 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.480 a note saying, have a great time with your guys. 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:45.240 And conversely, Lauren has amazing girlfriends she's had since college. 0:08:45.559 --> 0:08:47.120 They go on these She just got back from her 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:50.160 girls trip. They go for four or five days. This 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:53.160 week she's going on her Experience Camp trip where she 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:57.080 is a counselor for kids who have lost a parent 0:08:57.200 --> 0:09:00.320 or significant you know, are their sibling or whatever have you. 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:03.400 And she's gone for an entire week. And like, giving 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:06.280 us that time away makes us miss each other, but 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:09.160 it lets you recharge your batteries and realize how much 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:10.920 you do love each other and appreciate that. 0:09:11.640 --> 0:09:13.800 Yeah, yeah, you know. I think it also depends on 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:18.000 what stage of life you're in, right if very true newborn, 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:20.160 you know, to a two year old and a newborn, 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:24.240 like you're you're in the ship, you know, literally, it's 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:27.880 a little bit yeah, yeah, you know, it's a different 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:30.559 phase of life than I am today or you are 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:34.320 you know so, But I do think I have that 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:37.880 perspective of you know, how I would have it, not that, 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:41.280 not that it would have worked out. I'm just saying like, yeah, yeah, 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:44.559 there's probably something to be said and an easier way 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:48.640 to navigate and navigate and balance things. And when you 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:53.800 do still maintain that level of I'm gonna call it freedom. 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:57.160 But you know, well, the independence is important. Look, and 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:59.680 I know people might be you listen, say hey, a hole, 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:01.480 I can't just pick up and go to Europe. I 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:04.640 get that, but like you, like JP just said, find 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:08.880 your escape, and that might just be hey, babe, go 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.480 to the golf range and hit balls for an hour tonight. 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:14.960 You need to like or you tell your wife to like, 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:16.840 you know what, why don't you go to the movies, 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:18.880 or why don't you set up a day where you 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:22.160 just go take care of yourself and get the manicure, pedicure, 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:24.800 whatever it is, go for the walk or just disappear 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:28.560 and just if you let each other just unplug and escape, 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:30.880 even if it's for an hour or two. Because I 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:33.880 know life is crazy, that's a big deal. Like just 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:36.680 try and create that independence. So you got to unplug 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:38.440 and get away from each other and from the kids 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:40.400 and from all the craziness. Is we're about to head 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:43.400 back into school. I mean, you're about to be in it, man. 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.120 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, they go back Thursday. 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:47.960 But that's a good thing. I know a lot of 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.880 parents liked go back to school. Go back to school. 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:53.160 I need I need the structure, I need the timing. 0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:57.200 I can't entertain you twenty four to seven. And that's 0:10:57.200 --> 0:10:59.959 the thing too, you know, And I don't want to 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:03.320 be the old guys on the porch, but growing up, 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:05.679 our parents did not entertain this twenty four to seven. 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:08.079 But I'm sure when you have your kids, you're planning 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:09.560 every second of every day. 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:13.679 You almost feel guilty when you're not. Yeah, they had 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:16.520 three weeks off in between camp and school, and you know, 0:11:16.520 --> 0:11:18.199 actually and I would split days, and there were two 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:21.640 days where they were home. I had to work from home, 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:24.600 trying to work, and I had nothing planned, and I 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:27.480 felt like anxious about it, you know, like that. And 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.120 I've had a few people say it's okay for them 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:32.319 to do nothing. Yeah, it's okay for them to be 0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:35.200 bored and so, but yeah. 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:37.720 They need this strength, it's okay for them to figure 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:40.720 out how to entertain themselves. And it's actually it's really 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:42.840 I honestly say that was an important thing of our 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:46.520 imagination and our creativity of like, you know, and you 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:48.480 make fun of it, but we used to just get 0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:52.120 the refrigerator box and build the fort and have a 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:54.600 great You'd never see my brother and I. We would 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:56.920 disappear for days, and it was the greatest thing in 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:59.679 the world. And you know, play with our army men 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:01.680 or what have you. And we've just spent hours and 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:03.839 hours doing that and get lost in that, and they 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:06.240 just I feel like the art of that is lost. 0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:08.920 And I see my friends that have young kids, and 0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:10.880 the kids are constantly coming in and say what am 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:12.120 I going to do now? What am I going to 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:14.720 do now? And they just jump on a screen and 0:12:14.760 --> 0:12:16.560 they get the screen time. And it's like, man, that 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:19.240 is a constant battle. I'm I'm glad I didn't have 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:21.760 to battle it as much because my kids weren't as 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:26.520 screen savvy as this generation. But you're in it, like, 0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:29.520 have you dealt with and I don't know if your 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:31.280 kids have phones and all that yet, but have you 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:35.800 dealt with screen time, phones, social media, all that you have. 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:39.160 You and Ashley had those discussions, so we're not. 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:43.440 At the phone level yet giving them phones. The general 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:45.800 consensus seems around like fifth and sixth. 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:47.319 Grades, so middle school. 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:52.040 Yeah, yeah, right, But we are pretty much on the 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:54.320 same page when it comes to how much screen time 0:12:54.400 --> 0:12:58.400 we allow them. Right during the week, the timing of 0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:01.679 it is different between what she does and what I do. 0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:04.640 But dr week, you know, homework's got to get done, 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:07.520 like there's an hour max. Do what you want to 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:10.240 play a video game, go on your iPad whatever hour 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:12.400 max during the week, and then the weekends it slides 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:14.720 a little bit, you know, because there's a little more downtime. 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:19.320 But I think we're very cognizant of how much or 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:21.920 how little they are watching at any given time, because 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:24.360 you know, you see kids at dinner and they're on 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:27.960 their phone and they're like they're NonStop and this this 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:31.360 is like it's a drug. It's an absolute hundred percent. 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:32.959 And the thing is we know this now, I mean, 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:37.280 we know that Instagram, TikTok, all of it is so 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:41.200 bad for our kids. It is horrible for them. It 0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:43.920 is an addiction and it's not helping them in any way, 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:47.160 but it's become this thing that it eases our day. 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.440 So here take take the phone. Have your kids even 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:52.200 talked about social media yet? 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:57.760 They've seen like reels, you know, on Instagram, but they 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:03.080 they've spoke about likes every so often, but there's no 0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:06.040 I don't think there's a real understanding of what it 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:09.760 is or what it's used for. And so we haven't 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:11.640 really gotten into it that much. 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:13.599 I don't envy that with with parents, he is that. 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:16.640 I don't envy the battle and and just you have 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.359 a son and a daughter and and so do I 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:23.760 and just knowing body image and especially for our young 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:27.360 girls and young women growing up. Man, it just broke 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:32.120 my heart because it's also this light into the world 0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:34.680 that you're not invited to this. You're not cool, you're 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:37.680 not pretty, you're not that. It's all it's it's so negative, 0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:38.920 but none of it is positive. 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:42.640 Yeah, I'm really I mean, I'm afraid of Look, they're 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:46.400 both very strong kids, but like anybody can be, is 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:51.360 influenced by it. And I'm really nervous just about self 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:56.240 esteem and you know, trying to make sure that they 0:14:56.320 --> 0:15:01.560 understand that what they see there's it's not real. I 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:04.280 mean it's real, but it's not real, like, yeah, trying 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:06.040 to be able to explain that to them at a 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:06.680 young age. 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:08.880 You're just seeing the best of the best of everybody 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:23.320 all the time, right. Co parenting I found very interesting 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:28.080 post divorce because no matter and you and Ashley, I 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:30.960 know have a good working relationship we'll call it where 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:33.400 you both co parent, but at the same time you're 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:36.120 still separate. You know, it's very interesting when you're not 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:39.560 getting the twenty four to seven news feed of what's 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:41.680 going on all the time. I know the kids had 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:43.200 a good week, I know they had a bad week. 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:46.400 I know they really did this or you know, all 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.600 you can really get is the perspective from your ex 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:50.760 when you kind of get the download when the kids 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:53.920 come back. I found that very difficult because there was 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:55.880 always kind of that re entry as you start a 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:58.720 new week of having the kids. 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:02.360 Yeah, you know, we just do things differently, you know, 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:08.120 And and the things that triggered each of us during 0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:13.360 the marriage still trigger us after the marriage. That doesn't change. No, 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:16.440 now you're not married, maybe you give a little less of. 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:19.840 A yeah, no, yeah, I think yeah, it exacerbates even 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:22.280 more because I think it's worse because now you really 0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:23.280 don't give it out right. 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:27.560 I'm gonna do what I want to do anyway. I think, look, 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:30.920 I know how she operates, and I know how she 0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:33.960 deals with the kids in certain situations, and she knows 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:38.480 how I do it, and so there is less consistency 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:43.240 because of that. I think the general message to them 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:44.960 is the same and I think they get that, but 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:47.240 it's how it's delivered and how we manage it that 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:48.720 it's we do it differently. 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:51.240 That's all well, because you always did it differently, but 0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:54.120 it was differently yet unified because it all came out 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:57.880 of this big picture of parent and now when you're separate. 0:16:57.920 --> 0:16:59.840 And by the way, the kids are savvy, man, they 0:16:59.840 --> 0:17:02.080 know they're they they're playing the game and pushing the 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:05.160 buttons with her, push the buttons with you, and it's 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:08.280 it is a constant negotiation. I found it very fascinating 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:11.600 and it was very difficult for me. I don't know 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:15.119 if it was for you those first several I guess 0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:18.720 months when the kids left and all of a sudden 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:21.440 there was no noise. There was you know, you wake 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:26.280 up and you're like, okay, I got nothing to do. Okay, 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:29.560 I'd go do anything, and there's wonderful freedom in that, 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:33.280 but it's also kind of a weird, lonely feeling at first. 0:17:34.040 --> 0:17:39.160 Yeah, you know, we had a very drawn out called 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:42.680 divorce separation, right because we decided right before COVID hit, 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:46.400 and then literally a week or two weeks before COVID hit, 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:49.400 then it hit. The kids came home from school, how 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:51.679 are we going to sell the house? I'm not going 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:54.040 to stay in our room. Like, it was a very 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.920 strange year till you know. 0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:59.040 She event Yeah, what a weird time to do it. 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:01.280 It was bizarre. And then she ended up moving out 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:02.919 and we sold the house and I moved out, and like, 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:05.479 the kids see all this in different phases, and so 0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:09.119 it wasn't like a quick hey I'm moving out. You know, 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:12.959 we're getting divorced. That never happened. So every phase of 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:16.479 the divorce was kind of like gradual, and so it 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:19.600 all became a matter of fact to them. I don't 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:24.040 even remember the first day that she slept in her 0:18:24.080 --> 0:18:26.679 new place with the kids. Like, it's all such a 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:29.760 blur to me because it was just drawn out over 0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:30.399 so long. 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:33.919 I you know, it's funny and I don't blame you 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:36.520 and Ashley at all for this. But and I don't 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:40.520 know if you remember, but so your season of The Bachelorette, 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:44.640 when we were in Fiji where we shot your finale 0:18:44.720 --> 0:18:51.920 and Ashley's season, was like the penultimate meltdown of my divorce. 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:55.600 That was when everything was happening. I don't think I 0:18:55.680 --> 0:18:59.600 knew that, and I was, I mean, I was so detached. 0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:01.800 I felt ad because I mean I was kind of 0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:04.200 I was literally having these phone calls. We were in Asia, 0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:06.399 and I remember, I don't know if you remember this 0:19:06.600 --> 0:19:09.560 rose ceremony were in some of these old ruins, and 0:19:09.600 --> 0:19:11.280 I forget where we were in Asia. Maybe we're in 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:15.000 Thailand or something. And I kind of had to stand 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:18.800 over in this like column to hide from the camera, 0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:20.600 and I was by myself, and I'm literally on my 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:24.240 phone texting my ex back in LA and we're having 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:26.920 this really big blow up and I have to walk 0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:29.159 out and deliver the line for the rose ceremony. I 0:19:29.200 --> 0:19:31.480 have to sit down with Ashley and talk about love 0:19:31.520 --> 0:19:33.399 and who she's in love with and all this, and 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:35.959 then I would go right back to like my life 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:38.840 melting down behind the scenes, and nobody knew. I didn't 0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:43.199 tell anybody it was a why it was Ashley season 0:19:43.480 --> 0:19:45.640 and then Emily Maynard season were really the two big 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:48.520 seasons that stood out to me of like total disaster. 0:19:48.960 --> 0:19:52.640 Oh no, I had no idea. I can't imagine having 0:19:52.640 --> 0:19:56.440 to go through trying to two people falling in love 0:19:56.520 --> 0:19:58.040 and that's. 0:19:58.200 --> 0:19:59.919 And having this, you know, and just going and that 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:01.760 was the thing. It was like this. I almost thought 0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:04.239 I was in a sitcom because I was, you know, 0:20:04.320 --> 0:20:06.960 having this really heated text and you know, at times 0:20:06.960 --> 0:20:10.000 weren't nice and things were getting very heated. And then 0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:12.880 literally walk in and be like, okay, ash so you're 0:20:12.920 --> 0:20:16.840 taking JP to the fantasy suite. Do you think you 0:20:16.840 --> 0:20:19.359 know he's the one? And this love and you know, 0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:21.320 love is a very special thing and I want you 0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:23.920 to get married. And all I'm thinking is, don't do it, man, 0:20:24.160 --> 0:20:24.840 You're only. 0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:31.080 Getting so so my situation is technically your fault. 0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:33.680 Yes, exactly. No, I should have saved you, guys, it 0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:35.480 was a hunt. I should have just stood up and said, 0:20:35.760 --> 0:20:38.399 this whole thing's a farce. I don't believe in love, nough. 0:20:38.480 --> 0:20:41.600 I I oddly do still believe in love very much, 0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:45.240 obviously as I got remarried again, And so how's the 0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:48.240 dating world for you? Getting back into it was a 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:50.960 very strange thing for me. What was it like for 0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:52.960 you to start going on those first few dates. 0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:59.480 I had a very difficult time with divorce, just mentally, 0:20:59.520 --> 0:21:03.760 Like it took me a year and a half, maybe 0:21:03.760 --> 0:21:07.240 even two years to really feel like I was able 0:21:07.720 --> 0:21:12.400 to connect with somebody. It's you know, it's it's it's 0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:13.160 like a death. 0:21:13.280 --> 0:21:15.880 One hundred percent. I tell people that it is very 0:21:15.960 --> 0:21:20.280 much a morning process. You go through all the phases 0:21:20.280 --> 0:21:21.080 of that for sure. 0:21:21.720 --> 0:21:25.919 Yeah, And and mine was very long, not because I 0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:28.399 wanted to be back with her, but just it was like, 0:21:28.920 --> 0:21:31.840 how can this be happening to me? And are the 0:21:31.920 --> 0:21:34.800 kids going to be okay? And like that whole I 0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:36.720 was kind of a wreck for a year and a half. 0:21:36.800 --> 0:21:39.560 And so I would go out on gates and this 0:21:39.640 --> 0:21:41.560 is tarble to say, but I was really just going 0:21:41.600 --> 0:21:43.600 through the motion. I really was just trying to get 0:21:43.640 --> 0:21:46.359 comfortable with being around and trying to see can I 0:21:46.400 --> 0:21:49.360 connect with somebody else again? And so the first year 0:21:49.359 --> 0:21:51.960 and a half two years it was it was bad. 0:21:52.160 --> 0:21:54.800 I mean, I went out, but like it wasn't. 0:21:54.600 --> 0:21:56.240 There by the way, I'm right there with you. I 0:21:56.560 --> 0:22:01.359 totally resemble that and did the exact same thing because 0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:04.520 I felt so guilty about the kids and they They 0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:08.679 will also say that it takes so say you were 0:22:08.720 --> 0:22:12.720 married for eight years, it will essentially take four years. 0:22:12.800 --> 0:22:14.760 It takes half the time you were with that person 0:22:14.840 --> 0:22:18.280 or in that relationship to truly be over it. And 0:22:18.320 --> 0:22:20.920 I don't mean like you know over you're over it. 0:22:20.960 --> 0:22:22.439 I mean you could be ready to move on, but 0:22:22.560 --> 0:22:25.080 like truly have your life in place and the kids 0:22:25.119 --> 0:22:29.199 and feel mentally, emotionally healthy to move past it. And 0:22:29.240 --> 0:22:31.560 that's a crazy thing to think, you know, two three, 0:22:31.640 --> 0:22:33.639 four years that's about right, that's what it takes to 0:22:33.800 --> 0:22:36.840 truly deal with that loss and move on. 0:22:37.800 --> 0:22:41.159 Yeah, and I've you know, I finally got there. I 0:22:41.200 --> 0:22:43.840 mean I'm not you know, I still probably have work 0:22:43.880 --> 0:22:46.000 to do, but but I we all do. 0:22:46.119 --> 0:22:46.320 Man. 0:22:46.920 --> 0:22:48.360 Yeah, that's I mean, that's a lifetime. 0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:53.240 So there was because I I look, there's there's a 0:22:53.359 --> 0:22:57.280 reason there's the old saying about you know, never you know, 0:22:57.760 --> 0:23:00.280 marry the first person you meet after a divorce, So 0:23:00.440 --> 0:23:03.240 you know, don't ever be that first person after a breakup, 0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:07.200 because it's not going to go well. That is very true. 0:23:07.280 --> 0:23:09.120 Now that I've been there myself, I'm like, oh, yeah, 0:23:09.160 --> 0:23:12.359 that's very true. The poor girl that dated me the 0:23:12.400 --> 0:23:15.160 first time I got divorced, I'm like, I'm so sorry. 0:23:15.440 --> 0:23:19.080 I actually knew her and remain friends, and I apologize 0:23:19.119 --> 0:23:21.520 to her later. I was like, hey, sorry, my bad. 0:23:22.320 --> 0:23:24.840 Yeah, it's funny that. Like, I've got a couple of 0:23:24.840 --> 0:23:28.280 people that wanted to set me up and my friend. 0:23:28.359 --> 0:23:32.240 They're like and they lead with she just got divorced. 0:23:32.280 --> 0:23:37.280 I'm like nope, Like well she's getting divorced. I'm like, nope, yeah, 0:23:37.320 --> 0:23:40.360 that's the worst. She's in the process up for getting divorced. 0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:44.320 I'm like, yeah, I want to unwind that. No, I'm like, 0:23:44.440 --> 0:23:45.920 you got to be at least a year out. 0:23:46.119 --> 0:23:47.760 That means they're going to go back and forth a 0:23:47.800 --> 0:23:50.000 couple of times. There's gonna be I'm not. 0:23:49.920 --> 0:23:54.280 Gonna be a crutch. And admittedly, like I did that right, 0:23:54.359 --> 0:23:58.400 I used women as crutches like to kind of get through. 0:23:58.119 --> 0:24:00.680 And unbeknowkst to you, you do it and you look 0:24:00.720 --> 0:24:02.320 back at it, you don't realize you're doing it. In 0:24:02.359 --> 0:24:04.000 the moment, there's no malice to it. 0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:07.080 Yeah, No, and some of them may have even been 0:24:07.119 --> 0:24:10.680 the little I'm gonna say forced is the wrong word, 0:24:10.720 --> 0:24:12.639 because I knew it was good for me, and it 0:24:12.680 --> 0:24:15.800 wasn't like I didn't enjoy spending time with them. I did, 0:24:15.880 --> 0:24:18.000 but I just knew that it wasn't getting anywhere. And 0:24:18.080 --> 0:24:19.960 I still maybe stayed in a little longer than I 0:24:20.000 --> 0:24:23.080 should have. And granted, I have a lot of perspective now, but. 0:24:23.560 --> 0:24:26.560 Yeah, no, I well, it's funny. There's things that, like 0:24:26.720 --> 0:24:28.879 I got divorced in somebodies of mine where they were 0:24:28.880 --> 0:24:30.600 trying to do the right thing. And I'm interested to 0:24:30.600 --> 0:24:32.200 know if you had friends that did this, like let's 0:24:32.200 --> 0:24:34.520 go to Vegas. You know, we're going to burn a 0:24:34.560 --> 0:24:37.280 hole through the world a mile wide and that. And 0:24:37.320 --> 0:24:40.400 I'm like, I don't love Vegas. I don't go there 0:24:40.480 --> 0:24:42.480 very often. I'm not a big Vegas guy. I don't 0:24:42.480 --> 0:24:47.159 love clubs and stuff. And so I said, yeah, I'm like, okay, 0:24:47.240 --> 0:24:49.199 I get I'm like, this is what I'm supposed to 0:24:49.200 --> 0:24:51.879 do now, right, I've been divorced after being married for 0:24:51.920 --> 0:24:54.359 twenty years. I have a little money, I have a 0:24:54.359 --> 0:24:56.960 little fame. I guess I need to like burn a 0:24:56.960 --> 0:24:59.240 hole through the world. That's my that's my thing now, 0:24:59.320 --> 0:25:02.520 and I was just it was almost depressing to think about. 0:25:02.560 --> 0:25:05.320 Then a buddy called me said, Hey, man, me and 0:25:05.359 --> 0:25:07.880 some guys are going fishing up in Oregon, just a bunch, 0:25:07.920 --> 0:25:12.280 just a guy's trip, whiskey cigars. I'm like, that's my escape. 0:25:12.320 --> 0:25:14.920 That's what i want to do. Cancel the Vegas trip, 0:25:15.000 --> 0:25:18.960 wet fishing. And but there's things you do, is the 0:25:19.000 --> 0:25:21.120 point to all this. There's things you do because you're 0:25:21.160 --> 0:25:22.960 going through the motions and you're like, well, I saw 0:25:22.960 --> 0:25:24.720 this in a movie once. I guess I'm supposed to 0:25:24.800 --> 0:25:25.080 do it. 0:25:26.240 --> 0:25:30.960 Yeah, I'm the exact same, like I I wasn't living 0:25:31.040 --> 0:25:33.159 vicariously through me. When they say that, it kind of 0:25:33.160 --> 0:25:36.320 gives like, what what are you going to live vicarious? 0:25:36.400 --> 0:25:39.960 Like there's I'm not that exciting, right and and I'm 0:25:39.960 --> 0:25:42.160 not going to Vegas and I'm not doing those sorts 0:25:42.200 --> 0:25:46.320 of things. I'm still me, you know, granted, kind of 0:25:46.359 --> 0:25:49.040 how we started the conversation, I am saying a yes, 0:25:49.320 --> 0:25:51.439 saying yes to a lot more, right So even if 0:25:51.440 --> 0:25:53.600 it's hey, come out to LA for the weekend and 0:25:53.960 --> 0:25:56.800 see some friends, or I'm definitely saying yes to a 0:25:56.840 --> 0:25:59.600 lot more. But I'm still me. I'm still doing the 0:25:59.640 --> 0:26:02.120 things that I like to do. I have kids now, 0:26:02.200 --> 0:26:04.520 so I still have to be somewhat responsible. 0:26:04.600 --> 0:26:05.600 Yeah exactly, you. 0:26:05.560 --> 0:26:12.280 Know, but but I was I was never. I was 0:26:12.480 --> 0:26:14.959 never that that kind of guy that I would just 0:26:15.640 --> 0:26:18.320 let loose to that extent. So you know, I'm not 0:26:18.320 --> 0:26:19.280 going to change now. 0:26:19.680 --> 0:26:21.679 Nor nor should we at this stage in our lives. 0:26:21.920 --> 0:26:25.680 So you're four years, you know, into this. Where are 0:26:25.720 --> 0:26:28.959 you in this journey to kind of rediscover yourself? 0:26:29.280 --> 0:26:32.360 You can't say that word, what journey? 0:26:32.480 --> 0:26:35.240 Oh yeah, you're a good point. You're right. Where are 0:26:35.240 --> 0:26:39.000 you in this process is what it is. No, but 0:26:39.080 --> 0:26:43.120 where are you in, like dating now, looking for love? 0:26:43.240 --> 0:26:45.399 Are you open to that, ready for it at this 0:26:45.480 --> 0:26:46.960 point in your life, because it seems like you're in 0:26:46.960 --> 0:26:47.919 a really healthy place. 0:26:48.320 --> 0:26:53.000 Yeah, I I am, and I know exactly the dynamic 0:26:53.240 --> 0:26:55.360 that I am looking for. I mean, I can't write it. 0:26:55.280 --> 0:26:57.120 Out because I got a great girl for you. I'm 0:26:57.119 --> 0:26:57.639 just kidding you. 0:26:58.840 --> 0:27:00.360 Want you have you burned up all three? 0:27:00.560 --> 0:27:04.639 Yes, that's true. I use that trump card. 0:27:06.760 --> 0:27:10.000 I know what works, yeah right, and I know what 0:27:10.080 --> 0:27:12.919 doesn't work, and I know the red flags and I 0:27:13.000 --> 0:27:15.760 know who to kind of to put my time into 0:27:15.800 --> 0:27:17.280 and who not to waste time. And not that I'm 0:27:17.320 --> 0:27:19.959 not giving people opportunities. I am, but I just I 0:27:20.040 --> 0:27:23.960 just now have enough experience with relationships and love and 0:27:24.040 --> 0:27:28.159 family and growth, you know that, that I really know 0:27:28.800 --> 0:27:32.960 what's important to me. And so it's been challenging. Like 0:27:33.119 --> 0:27:36.840 I don't I'm not from Miami. So first of all, 0:27:36.920 --> 0:27:40.400 meeting people down here organically for me is difficult because 0:27:40.400 --> 0:27:43.720 the friends that I do have, you know, they're married kids. 0:27:43.880 --> 0:27:45.520 That's a really tough part to this when you know 0:27:45.520 --> 0:27:47.679 no one tells you about that post divorce. It's you 0:27:47.680 --> 0:27:50.440 don't have that social circle where hey, let's go out 0:27:50.480 --> 0:27:52.240 and grab a beer, maybe we'll meet somebody. 0:27:52.680 --> 0:27:54.840 It is I can count on one hand in the 0:27:54.920 --> 0:27:57.840 last maybe three years that I've done exactly that. Yeah, 0:27:57.920 --> 0:28:00.960 just because it's just they're no, I don't have that 0:28:01.119 --> 0:28:04.440 kind of network here in the stage of the life 0:28:04.440 --> 0:28:06.639 that I'm in. So I do rely on apps a 0:28:06.680 --> 0:28:09.600 lot just to at least meet people, and I hate them. 0:28:09.960 --> 0:28:13.560 It's a needle in the haystack. And you know, Miami's 0:28:13.600 --> 0:28:17.119 a little Miami, you know what I mean, You know 0:28:17.160 --> 0:28:22.399 what I mean. So it's challenging to meet people. But 0:28:22.440 --> 0:28:24.639 I've met some nice women I've dated for two to 0:28:24.680 --> 0:28:29.480 three months. You know, generally they end because it fizzles 0:28:29.480 --> 0:28:32.280 and it's just not there, and I'm looking for that 0:28:32.320 --> 0:28:33.120 connection again. 0:28:33.560 --> 0:28:37.960 Have you have you noticed with the show, because I 0:28:38.080 --> 0:28:40.440 even found this as the host and being around the show, 0:28:40.440 --> 0:28:43.600 that when I started dating, I had to really check 0:28:43.680 --> 0:28:48.640 myself from being a producer of thinking along the lines 0:28:48.680 --> 0:28:50.440 and the stages of this, and I would get ahead 0:28:50.480 --> 0:28:52.320 of myself and I could kind of see where this 0:28:52.480 --> 0:28:55.400 was going way too fast, and I'm like, I'm not 0:28:55.440 --> 0:28:59.560 giving this a fair shake, or maybe I am, and 0:28:59.640 --> 0:29:01.680 I just and see this faster than everybody. 0:29:01.720 --> 0:29:01.880 Now. 0:29:01.920 --> 0:29:03.440 I don't know, it was really weird. 0:29:03.880 --> 0:29:05.560 I don't know have to show it anything to do 0:29:05.600 --> 0:29:08.120 with it. I meant, I definitely look within, Like the 0:29:08.120 --> 0:29:10.760 first fifteen minutes, I'm in my head and like I 0:29:10.760 --> 0:29:12.479 don't want to spend any more time with her, you know, 0:29:12.880 --> 0:29:15.080 And then I try to keep it going, so I 0:29:15.120 --> 0:29:18.320 try not to get in my own way, which I 0:29:18.360 --> 0:29:22.040 think I do a lot. But ninety nine percent of 0:29:22.080 --> 0:29:24.600 the time, like those where I had the initial gut 0:29:24.600 --> 0:29:27.400 feeling it's not going to work. Two months later, like 0:29:27.600 --> 0:29:28.760 I knew it. It's not going to work. 0:29:28.760 --> 0:29:31.760 And there will be that time when you when you 0:29:31.800 --> 0:29:33.880 don't have that and you're like, it hits you upside 0:29:33.920 --> 0:29:36.239 the head and you're like, oh my god, Okay, it 0:29:36.280 --> 0:29:39.320 does exist. It's out there. It's frustrating to find it. 0:29:39.360 --> 0:29:42.640 But when you do, it's so fantastic, and you're like, 0:29:42.720 --> 0:29:45.680 you're reminded how good it can be and how effortless 0:29:45.720 --> 0:29:48.960 and fun and easy and all those exciting words. 0:29:49.560 --> 0:29:53.640 Yeah, and I would say maybe maybe there's been one 0:29:54.920 --> 0:30:01.360 with potential where I felt kind of excited again. Yeah, 0:30:01.400 --> 0:30:05.080 you know, but for the most part, it's it's uh, 0:30:05.680 --> 0:30:07.600 it's tough. It's it's tough out there. 0:30:19.640 --> 0:30:22.120 Is it hard to watch it? You know, Ashley has 0:30:22.240 --> 0:30:25.120 obviously moved on, and she's been very public about it, 0:30:25.440 --> 0:30:28.000 social media wise and all that. And that's one thing 0:30:28.040 --> 0:30:30.400 I will say about breakups. It's you know, I had 0:30:30.400 --> 0:30:32.000 to talk with a friend of mine who lost his 0:30:32.040 --> 0:30:33.960 wife who I was very good friends with, and he says, 0:30:34.000 --> 0:30:37.960 you know, the thing is, my wife's gone. You know, 0:30:38.040 --> 0:30:40.040 I can't get her back. I'm sad. I love her, 0:30:40.080 --> 0:30:44.640 but she's gone in divorce. She's not gone. She's on 0:30:44.680 --> 0:30:47.040 Facebook she's on Instagram, You're going to see her all 0:30:47.080 --> 0:30:50.000 the time. And you know, when when two famous people 0:30:50.480 --> 0:30:52.560 and you know, I'm going to use that term loosely, 0:30:52.560 --> 0:30:55.080 we're all kind of have a moderkham of fame. But still, 0:30:55.400 --> 0:30:57.880 you guys are known, and you know, Ashley has been 0:30:57.960 --> 0:31:01.400 very public about that. Has that been hard her to 0:31:01.520 --> 0:31:03.480 kind of deal with her or honestly, does it give 0:31:03.520 --> 0:31:06.440 you a little bit of okay, good, she's kind of 0:31:06.440 --> 0:31:08.080 doing her thing. I can go do mine. 0:31:09.320 --> 0:31:11.440 It's been three years, they've been dating for three years. 0:31:12.560 --> 0:31:15.960 Early on it was it was tough, especially when I 0:31:16.000 --> 0:31:17.600 knew he was spending time with the kids. 0:31:17.840 --> 0:31:18.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:31:19.040 --> 0:31:26.560 I've had a major internal struggle with that. So I 0:31:26.560 --> 0:31:30.400 would say then it got easier. It just got easier. 0:31:30.600 --> 0:31:35.360 Early on, I actually muted her Instagram, so I would 0:31:35.560 --> 0:31:37.960 like I'd have to manually go to look if I 0:31:38.000 --> 0:31:40.280 was to do it, and sometimes when she has the kids, 0:31:40.280 --> 0:31:42.040 I would have I would have done that. But for 0:31:42.080 --> 0:31:43.560 the most part, I try to stay off it. 0:31:43.600 --> 0:31:45.720 Because it does no good. 0:31:46.120 --> 0:31:50.560 Yeah, my god, it went down a spiral of death. 0:31:50.600 --> 0:31:54.560 I mean, it was terrible in the beginning. So now 0:31:54.600 --> 0:31:56.479 it doesn't bug me as much. I mean, you know, 0:31:56.560 --> 0:32:01.000 he's a bit obviously a very big part of her life. 0:32:01.400 --> 0:32:03.520 He and his family spend time with the kids, and 0:32:03.760 --> 0:32:06.480 you know, it's somewhat nice for him that the kids 0:32:06.480 --> 0:32:09.720 to have that kind of a family down here. You know, 0:32:09.760 --> 0:32:12.920 her family's in Maine. Yeah, my dad and my brother 0:32:13.000 --> 0:32:14.640 they're all in New York. So if we see each 0:32:14.680 --> 0:32:16.360 other three or four times a year, it's a lot. 0:32:16.640 --> 0:32:18.160 I wish I would move back up north. 0:32:19.400 --> 0:32:21.600 If the kids weren't around, I'd probably be back up north. 0:32:22.800 --> 0:32:26.480 I went through the same thing post divorce. My ex 0:32:27.320 --> 0:32:31.160 moved on and got remarried quicker than I did. She 0:32:31.280 --> 0:32:34.280 was married first, and at first, you know, it is 0:32:34.320 --> 0:32:37.240 it's very awkward because of the kids, right another man 0:32:37.320 --> 0:32:41.480 in the kids' lives, and there's that kind of territorial 0:32:41.560 --> 0:32:43.440 thing that I think guys have. I don't know if 0:32:43.720 --> 0:32:45.960 women have the same thing. I know she did to 0:32:46.000 --> 0:32:49.320 a certain degree. Luckily she met Lauren and we were 0:32:49.320 --> 0:32:53.560 both very respectful of introducing and I respected her enough, 0:32:53.600 --> 0:32:56.160 and I'm sure you did too. Like you knew Ashley, 0:32:56.240 --> 0:32:58.040 and I knew, you know, my ex was going to 0:32:58.080 --> 0:33:00.880 pick somebody that was also a good mom or a 0:33:00.880 --> 0:33:04.160 good dad. You know, that would be a good role model, 0:33:04.200 --> 0:33:06.480 but it's still just not you. And so it was 0:33:06.520 --> 0:33:09.640 hard at first, and then you realize it's just a 0:33:09.680 --> 0:33:12.120 bonus person in their life, and he is. He's been 0:33:12.160 --> 0:33:14.400 nothing but wonderful and loving to my kids. And Lauren 0:33:14.440 --> 0:33:17.600 of course, has been such a positive force in my kids' 0:33:17.640 --> 0:33:21.040 lives and now I can't even imagine her not being 0:33:21.240 --> 0:33:25.480 around the kids. And so time does heal those wounds? 0:33:25.720 --> 0:33:27.280 I mean, I'm so I don't. I wouldn't say that 0:33:27.440 --> 0:33:31.840 still is as enthusiastic about it as as it's been. 0:33:32.040 --> 0:33:33.240 It's been over a decade for me. 0:33:33.280 --> 0:33:36.400 Man, Yeah, I've got some catching but I will say 0:33:36.440 --> 0:33:40.720 that that is the only trigger recent trigger the last 0:33:40.800 --> 0:33:43.920 year for me is me seeing him with the kids 0:33:44.000 --> 0:33:46.800 and you know, whether it's playing basketball or throwing him 0:33:46.800 --> 0:33:48.600 in the pool or whatever it is where it's like 0:33:49.640 --> 0:33:50.680 I should be doing. 0:33:50.480 --> 0:33:52.480 That, Yeah that was me, that was my It was me, that. 0:33:52.440 --> 0:33:54.360 Should be me. Nobody else should be doing that other 0:33:54.400 --> 0:33:57.040 than me. Yeah, so I still struggle with that, Like 0:33:57.200 --> 0:34:00.880 it's it's still uncomfortable for me. You know, I don't 0:34:00.920 --> 0:34:04.160 spend half my kid's childhood with them, and like, now 0:34:04.200 --> 0:34:07.440 somebody else is and playing that yes he'll never be 0:34:07.520 --> 0:34:11.520 their father, I get all, yeah, but still a father 0:34:11.840 --> 0:34:15.200 like role and doing things you know that I really 0:34:15.239 --> 0:34:18.640 should be there doing it's it's that is the longest 0:34:18.719 --> 0:34:20.280 lasting challenge. 0:34:21.200 --> 0:34:23.879 Have you had those moments? You know, big moments in life, 0:34:23.880 --> 0:34:27.319 whether they're big birthdays, graduations, you know, those things are 0:34:27.400 --> 0:34:29.359 very interesting because you start to have to share them 0:34:29.440 --> 0:34:33.440 with that person. They're they're there. You know, typically if 0:34:33.440 --> 0:34:36.120 you have a decent enough relationship, some people, you know, 0:34:36.280 --> 0:34:38.920 the good news is, you know, some people have a relationship, 0:34:38.960 --> 0:34:40.440 they can't even be in the same state or in 0:34:40.480 --> 0:34:43.759 the same room period. So if things are good enough, 0:34:43.800 --> 0:34:45.520 you can at least share those moments. And you know, 0:34:45.600 --> 0:34:47.080 my ex and I have, and I'm sure you and 0:34:47.080 --> 0:34:49.360 Ashley will. So you'll be at the soccer game, or 0:34:49.360 --> 0:34:51.920 you'll be at the graduation and you're all there together 0:34:52.000 --> 0:34:54.080 and everybody puts on the smiley face. 0:34:54.920 --> 0:34:56.840 Yeah you fake it, I guess. I mean, look, he 0:34:57.440 --> 0:35:01.319 I actually didn't meet him for a very very long time, 0:35:03.040 --> 0:35:06.520 and there were moments where she would text me and 0:35:06.600 --> 0:35:08.800 say He's gonna come to the basketball game, and I 0:35:08.840 --> 0:35:11.200 would lose my ship, you know, like I'm coaching, like 0:35:11.239 --> 0:35:13.680 I don't want to see him on the sideline, like no, no, 0:35:14.120 --> 0:35:16.160 and like you want me to make a scene, I'll 0:35:16.200 --> 0:35:19.800 totally make a scene. I don't care. So and granted 0:35:19.920 --> 0:35:22.440 it's it's ridiculous, right, and I was being probably being 0:35:22.440 --> 0:35:24.800 a baby about it, but like I just wasn't ready, 0:35:24.920 --> 0:35:26.640 Like I didn't want that to be the first time 0:35:26.680 --> 0:35:27.399 I met him either. 0:35:27.520 --> 0:35:31.759 So look, you wish you had the wherewithal to say, Ashlock, 0:35:32.520 --> 0:35:36.120 I'm mentally and emotionally just not ready for this. Can 0:35:36.160 --> 0:35:38.400 you respect that? You know you wish you had said that, 0:35:38.520 --> 0:35:40.000 But what you'd said was. 0:35:41.360 --> 0:35:44.879 I don't really care. You know, I may have used 0:35:44.880 --> 0:35:48.520 that card three thousand times prior to that, and to 0:35:48.560 --> 0:35:50.520 the point where she was probably saying to me, Look, 0:35:50.680 --> 0:35:53.480 it's been long enough. I think he should probably meet himself. 0:35:54.560 --> 0:35:57.480 But I think this basketball season he might might come 0:35:57.520 --> 0:35:57.960 to the game. 0:35:58.520 --> 0:35:59.760 So have y'all finally met? 0:36:00.360 --> 0:36:03.719 Yeah, we finally met. Okay, we finally met. That's good. Yeah, 0:36:03.719 --> 0:36:04.600 they moved in together. 0:36:05.239 --> 0:36:10.760 I mean, it's look, it's it's never it's never not different. 0:36:10.840 --> 0:36:13.520 I won't say it's never not awkward, because the awkwardness 0:36:13.960 --> 0:36:17.759 does go away, but it's never not different. That's just 0:36:17.800 --> 0:36:19.719 the new normal, and that's what we chose, right, And 0:36:19.800 --> 0:36:23.399 so I always felt like you aren't allowed to put 0:36:23.400 --> 0:36:25.399 that on the kids. They didn't sign up for this. 0:36:25.680 --> 0:36:28.680 You did, You and Ashley did. So it's like, you know, 0:36:28.880 --> 0:36:31.240 I'm like, Okay, everyone's just gonna have to make nice 0:36:31.719 --> 0:36:35.720 and realize it's zero point five percent of our time 0:36:35.800 --> 0:36:37.439 this year that we're all going to have to worry 0:36:37.480 --> 0:36:40.719 about this, you know. The other ninety nine point five 0:36:40.800 --> 0:36:43.759 we can go have our own world and do our 0:36:43.800 --> 0:36:44.200 own thing. 0:36:44.960 --> 0:36:48.200 Yeah. No, And I think if there's one thing that 0:36:48.360 --> 0:36:49.680 one of the things that she and I are on 0:36:49.719 --> 0:36:52.040 the same page is like the kids never see any 0:36:52.040 --> 0:36:54.600 of well, like we're talking about, they don't. They wouldn't 0:36:54.600 --> 0:36:56.960 know about any of this, right, They would know them uncomfortable. 0:36:57.000 --> 0:36:59.799 They wouldn't know my conversation. They wouldn't know. So look 0:36:59.800 --> 0:37:02.560 if if if Ford says to me, hey, Dad, you 0:37:02.560 --> 0:37:04.680 know he's going to be at the basketball game, I'd 0:37:04.680 --> 0:37:08.440 be like great, you know, like I wouldn't be like, no's. 0:37:10.040 --> 0:37:12.680 Over my dead body, right, So they. 0:37:12.520 --> 0:37:14.880 Would they don't know any different. And I think we 0:37:15.000 --> 0:37:17.319 do a very good job of putting on a little 0:37:17.320 --> 0:37:19.319 bit of a front so that they are comfortable and 0:37:19.360 --> 0:37:20.879 they see that it is a kind of one big, 0:37:20.880 --> 0:37:24.680 happy family. But I will say there's I don't understand 0:37:24.719 --> 0:37:28.040 those couples that go on vacations with their ex and 0:37:28.080 --> 0:37:30.160 their family. That's never happening. I don't care. 0:37:30.280 --> 0:37:32.920 So I, by the way, I so agree with that. 0:37:33.000 --> 0:37:35.640 I like I have I don't even have respect for it. 0:37:35.640 --> 0:37:37.440 I don't know, you know. I was like, I just 0:37:37.480 --> 0:37:40.480 don't even know how you get there, because obviously we 0:37:40.520 --> 0:37:43.239 got divorced for a reason. However amicable we are now, 0:37:44.080 --> 0:37:46.640 we're divorced for a reason. It's because we don't want 0:37:46.719 --> 0:37:49.600 to travel and be together and live together. So yeah, 0:37:49.640 --> 0:37:52.080 those those couples that are like, oh, yeah, we you know, 0:37:52.360 --> 0:37:56.719 I'm best friends with the wife and we No, no, no. 0:37:56.480 --> 0:37:59.160 No, you're really not. You're keeping her close because you 0:37:59.200 --> 0:38:00.120 don't trust. 0:38:00.440 --> 0:38:04.600 Right, keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer, exactly. 0:38:05.800 --> 0:38:10.120 It is so true. Beyond love and all that stuff, 0:38:10.719 --> 0:38:13.040 life is good. Work is still the same. 0:38:13.160 --> 0:38:18.080 And yeah, life is good. Uh, work is great. Busy. 0:38:18.280 --> 0:38:20.759 I have flexibility when it comes to the kids, so 0:38:20.800 --> 0:38:25.520 I don't miss anything. Yeah, you know, it's just it's 0:38:25.680 --> 0:38:28.560 just the balance of trying to get them to see 0:38:28.560 --> 0:38:31.279 their family as much as possible and doing the right 0:38:31.280 --> 0:38:34.600 thing and being the right parent. And but life's good. 0:38:34.560 --> 0:38:36.160 And they'll get to an age too, I think, you know, 0:38:36.680 --> 0:38:40.560 I you it's it's oddly reminiscent of me. We were 0:38:41.000 --> 0:38:43.120 kind of similar as far as the ages we're going 0:38:43.120 --> 0:38:46.319 through divorce and stuff. You were in your mid right 0:38:46.360 --> 0:38:48.360 around mid forties. I was kind of younger, a little 0:38:48.360 --> 0:38:52.000 younger than that when I started, but the kids were 0:38:52.000 --> 0:38:54.040 about the same age. And I found the older the 0:38:54.120 --> 0:38:58.920 kids got, obviously the easier the divorce and all that 0:38:58.960 --> 0:39:01.239 stuff becomes. You know, time goes by, but also the 0:39:01.320 --> 0:39:03.960 kids get older, more self sufficient. You know, they get 0:39:04.000 --> 0:39:06.799 into middle school and they're gone. You know, they just 0:39:06.840 --> 0:39:10.360 they need parents around a lot less and that helps, 0:39:10.640 --> 0:39:13.920 you know, that starts the separation and creates more space 0:39:13.960 --> 0:39:15.480 for both of you, and it definitely helped. 0:39:16.040 --> 0:39:18.920 Yeah, And there's just tons of activities and this basketball 0:39:18.920 --> 0:39:22.160 practice and things, and so you know, they're not with us. 0:39:22.360 --> 0:39:24.880 I think I think what will become a little bit 0:39:24.960 --> 0:39:26.920 challenging is right now we're fifty to fifty and we 0:39:27.000 --> 0:39:30.560 do two two three, so they're constantly kind of going 0:39:30.600 --> 0:39:32.520 back and forth every two days, and I think as 0:39:32.520 --> 0:39:34.200 they get a little bit older, and maybe we'll go 0:39:34.280 --> 0:39:35.959 to the to the week week or something. 0:39:35.960 --> 0:39:37.600 We did the week on a week off, and we 0:39:37.680 --> 0:39:40.080 tried it both ways for a while, and we did 0:39:40.120 --> 0:39:42.279 the ten you know week, and then we went two, two, three, 0:39:42.320 --> 0:39:44.120 and then we went back as it was like it 0:39:44.160 --> 0:39:47.880 was just it helped us. Again, do everybody do their 0:39:47.880 --> 0:39:49.879 own thing, but it just helped me, Like I want 0:39:49.920 --> 0:39:53.400 to get into a system and where I'm you know, 0:39:53.440 --> 0:39:55.879 really digging into the kids for a week and I'm 0:39:55.920 --> 0:39:58.799 making their meals and we're planning and we're going through 0:39:58.800 --> 0:40:02.840 the weekend, et cetera. It's just the constant back and forth. Really, 0:40:03.680 --> 0:40:08.480 there's shin guards everywhere and dance ballet shoes and it's 0:40:08.520 --> 0:40:11.200 like we were going back and forth to each other's houses. 0:40:11.200 --> 0:40:12.480 So I'm like, we got to stop this. 0:40:14.160 --> 0:40:16.080 Totally. We're not. I don't think we're there yet. I 0:40:17.200 --> 0:40:18.960 mean I could get there, but I don't think Ashley 0:40:19.000 --> 0:40:20.560 wants to be without them for a week yet. 0:40:20.640 --> 0:40:22.520 Yeah, that is it's tough. It's a long time. 0:40:22.640 --> 0:40:24.440 She doesn't want to be with them for a week either. 0:40:26.920 --> 0:40:31.960 That's no, It's so true. After a week. You're like, 0:40:32.200 --> 0:40:36.480 I am done. That's so funny. You're like, I'm on 0:40:36.520 --> 0:40:41.960 the next plane out of here. But it is. It 0:40:42.080 --> 0:40:45.759 is interesting when you know that week off, when there 0:40:45.840 --> 0:40:47.600 is you know, there's stuff going on, and you know, 0:40:47.680 --> 0:40:49.799 you you you kind of check back in and see them. 0:40:49.800 --> 0:40:52.879 And we kind of had the rule of if you're 0:40:52.960 --> 0:40:56.160 lonely and you're just missing them, you're more than welcome 0:40:56.200 --> 0:40:58.080 to take them to dinner. You know, hey, you pick 0:40:58.120 --> 0:40:59.960 them up from soccer tonight, take them to dinner, and 0:41:00.040 --> 0:41:01.440 then drop them back off at the house. It was, 0:41:01.480 --> 0:41:03.560 you know, we try to be good about that because 0:41:03.560 --> 0:41:05.719 a week is, especially at first when they're young, that's 0:41:05.719 --> 0:41:06.279 a long time. 0:41:07.200 --> 0:41:09.400 Yeah, and she would We would be also. I mean, 0:41:09.440 --> 0:41:11.719 even if we went a week, we're so flexible. I 0:41:11.760 --> 0:41:14.040 can't can you watch, I can't pick them up. We're 0:41:14.360 --> 0:41:17.400 we're pretty flexible, which makes it easier. 0:41:17.520 --> 0:41:19.200 This is the this is by the way, this is 0:41:19.200 --> 0:41:22.440 the show I probably should be doing at this point. Uh. 0:41:22.640 --> 0:41:25.600 You know, I love love, and I love helping people 0:41:25.640 --> 0:41:28.160 find love. But what I think I'm probably really good 0:41:28.239 --> 0:41:31.719 at now is is helping people through divorce. Is that 0:41:31.800 --> 0:41:32.400 the new show? 0:41:33.360 --> 0:41:39.160 I think there's definitely, definitely enough action and drama and yes, yes. 0:41:38.960 --> 0:41:41.960 I'm creating a show. You will survive and more exactly 0:41:41.960 --> 0:41:44.920 and more shall pass, This too shall pass. 0:41:45.400 --> 0:41:48.239 Yeah. I feel like it needs to end though with 0:41:48.280 --> 0:41:51.560 them finding love again. I don't like there's got to 0:41:51.600 --> 0:41:53.160 be hope. So people have to hold on to some 0:41:53.320 --> 0:41:55.080 level of hope. And you're right, we do. 0:41:55.239 --> 0:41:57.160 We got to work on what the button is. We 0:41:57.239 --> 0:41:59.279 got to figure out what that button is other than 0:41:59.320 --> 0:42:02.760 just not killing each other. That's a good thing, right, dude. 0:42:02.800 --> 0:42:05.080 It's so good to talk to you and to catch up. 0:42:05.200 --> 0:42:07.840 And we are both, as we said, at the phase 0:42:07.920 --> 0:42:09.879 and at the age of our lives when we say 0:42:09.960 --> 0:42:13.560 yes and we're actually going to make things happen. This 0:42:13.640 --> 0:42:16.879 is going to happen. I'm I'm coming to Florida more 0:42:16.920 --> 0:42:19.520 often now. I'm just going to take it upon myself 0:42:19.560 --> 0:42:20.680 to drive over and see you. 0:42:21.239 --> 0:42:23.960 I'm going to text you the weekends I am off 0:42:24.080 --> 0:42:27.799 in October and November because September is not going to work. 0:42:27.800 --> 0:42:30.279 October November and you're going to pick one and I'm 0:42:30.280 --> 0:42:31.839 going to find a suffish and chip and we're going 0:42:31.840 --> 0:42:35.760 to go and it's happening. That's it. 0:42:36.120 --> 0:42:38.239 This is happening finally, and then and by the way, 0:42:38.239 --> 0:42:40.760 we'll put it up and everyone can see the aftermath 0:42:40.800 --> 0:42:43.680 on social media would be two really boring guys showing fish. 0:42:44.160 --> 0:42:47.839 That's what every woman wants to see on social media exactly. 0:42:48.200 --> 0:42:51.440 By the way, you know, I should probably dive in 0:42:51.480 --> 0:42:54.120 and take a look at your dating profiles. Please tell 0:42:54.120 --> 0:42:56.200 me there's not one picture of you and a fish. 0:42:56.520 --> 0:42:58.040 No. I was warned early on. 0:42:58.200 --> 0:43:01.040 Okay, good, good, good, I take I do some of. 0:43:01.000 --> 0:43:03.200 My best work with fish. I'm just saying. 0:43:05.200 --> 0:43:07.360 It makes everything look bigger, exactly. 0:43:10.239 --> 0:43:12.680 But no, that is that That is number one rules. 0:43:12.719 --> 0:43:14.359 You don't do that, so I learned early on. 0:43:14.800 --> 0:43:16.960 You know, it's it's very interesting because you know, you 0:43:17.000 --> 0:43:19.160 do have that moderkrum of fame, and so I'm sure 0:43:19.160 --> 0:43:21.440 it is difficult. You know, you kind of have to 0:43:21.520 --> 0:43:24.600 dabble on these apps. It's like, well, people enter into 0:43:24.760 --> 0:43:27.919 knowing already a little bit about you. You come into 0:43:27.920 --> 0:43:29.920 this knowing nothing. And I found that very interesting when 0:43:29.960 --> 0:43:32.680 I was dating. It's like, okay, you at least they 0:43:32.680 --> 0:43:34.920 think they know, right, they don't know you, but they 0:43:34.920 --> 0:43:37.480 think they know a large portion of your life because 0:43:37.480 --> 0:43:39.480 they saw it on TV or they see me on TV, 0:43:40.160 --> 0:43:42.600 and then you know nothing about this person, and so 0:43:43.440 --> 0:43:45.920 it makes that dynamic of truly getting to know someone 0:43:45.960 --> 0:43:47.680 on a date more difficult. 0:43:48.360 --> 0:43:51.000 Yeah, I haven't found that too much, just because my 0:43:51.239 --> 0:43:54.600 you know, our season was so far removed. You're you, 0:43:54.760 --> 0:43:56.440 and obviously we're getting part of the soil for a 0:43:56.480 --> 0:43:59.880 very long time, but we're so far removed that sometime 0:44:00.160 --> 0:44:02.440 someone will make the connection like you look so familiar, 0:44:02.560 --> 0:44:04.919 how do I know you? And I certainly don't lob 0:44:05.000 --> 0:44:07.920 it out there, and then other times they say, hey, 0:44:07.920 --> 0:44:09.719 were you on the batch? I'm like yeah, And so 0:44:10.160 --> 0:44:12.560 we kind of have gotten past it pretty quickly and 0:44:12.600 --> 0:44:15.239 all the circumstances that I've been in where it has 0:44:15.320 --> 0:44:20.239 popped up, so it hasn't been that challenging to navigate. 0:44:21.800 --> 0:44:24.239 Well, I wish you the best on this, on this 0:44:24.320 --> 0:44:29.719 journey that was intentional. And by the way, we are 0:44:29.760 --> 0:44:32.640 going to be together very soon. You and I will 0:44:32.640 --> 0:44:36.800 be together at a very special wedding in Los Angeles together, 0:44:36.920 --> 0:44:39.160 So I look forward to seeing you there and that 0:44:39.160 --> 0:44:43.400 that is going to be an amazing wedding. And by 0:44:43.440 --> 0:44:44.759 the way, I think Ashley is going to be there 0:44:44.760 --> 0:44:47.920 as well. Does she not. 0:44:48.560 --> 0:44:50.360 No, I don't think she was invited. 0:44:50.640 --> 0:44:52.279 I think she I think you may want, you may 0:44:52.400 --> 0:44:52.759 may want. 0:44:54.280 --> 0:44:55.839 I think she would tell me if she was going. 0:44:55.880 --> 0:44:57.080 Okay, wait, no, she can't. 0:44:57.320 --> 0:44:58.320 She's got the kids. 0:44:58.360 --> 0:45:00.640 Got the kids. That's good, that's why. Well, I know 0:45:00.719 --> 0:45:02.960 you're going to be there and I'm looking forward to 0:45:02.960 --> 0:45:04.480 it and Lauren and I can't wait to see and 0:45:04.560 --> 0:45:06.880 give you a big hug and catch up. But we 0:45:06.920 --> 0:45:08.840 need to do it on your home turf soon. But 0:45:08.880 --> 0:45:12.080 I appreciate the time. Always love talking to you, my friend, 0:45:12.239 --> 0:45:13.520 and we got to do it more. 0:45:14.200 --> 0:45:16.439 Sounds good. Thanks hie Bud, all right, love. 0:45:16.360 --> 0:45:19.200 You, Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the 0:45:19.200 --> 0:45:21.880 most dramatic pod ever, and make sure to write us 0:45:21.880 --> 0:45:24.440 a review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to 0:45:24.520 --> 0:45:25.080 you next time.