1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:06,000 Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin, Texas. 3 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 1: I am so excited for this show. Today I did 4 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 1: a Father's Day episode of the most dramatic podcast ever 5 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,600 Speaker 1: where I had on three really good friends of mine 6 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 1: and three great dads, Ryan Sutter, Bob Ginny, and JP Rosenbaum. 7 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 1: Obviously they were from my days on The Bachelor and Bachelorette, 8 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,600 Speaker 1: just three dads that I really respected and kind of 9 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: from different walks of life, in different stages of life, 10 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 1: and it just made me realize I have not really 11 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 1: talked to JP Rosenbaum and I don't know how long. 12 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: It's been way too long to catch up, and I 13 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 1: really wanted to know where he is at this stage. 14 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: He's been divorced from Ashley. They met on season seven 15 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: of The Bacherette, which is crazy to think it was 16 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 1: that long ago Season seven of The Bachelorette, Ashley Rosenbaum. 17 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: We were in Fiji, they got engaged. It was this 18 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 1: beautiful moment. I actually officiated their wedding. We televised it 19 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 1: in Pasadena and it was a It was a It 20 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,680 Speaker 1: was a lovely wedding and a beautiful couple, and I 21 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: was very good friends with them, especially when they lived 22 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: in New York. I saw them all the time. Anytime 23 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: I went to New York, they were my go to 24 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: dinner dates, always saw them. And then they moved down 25 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 1: to Florida. Unfortunately, life happens, they got divorced, and I 26 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,120 Speaker 1: remain close to both of them. You know, It's one 27 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: of the first things I did, as I called and 28 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,760 Speaker 1: texted both of them as I love you both, I 29 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 1: know what you're going through. I've been there, and I'm 30 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: here to support you and anything that both of you need, 31 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,759 Speaker 1: you just say it. And so we've we've all remained 32 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 1: really good friends, and they've been very classy and just 33 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: wonderful how they have gone through the whole process of 34 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 1: divorce and starting their lives again. And you know, Ashley 35 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: very publicly happy and dating again, and Jp, I don't know. 36 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: I don't know where he is at this stage in 37 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: this process of getting on with divorce and getting on 38 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 1: with life and dating and love and all of those things. 39 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: And I thought, if I don't know, then you probably 40 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: don't know. So let's fix that. Let's dive into it. 41 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 1: My guest today on the Most Traumatic Podcast Effort, my 42 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 1: good friend JP Rosenbaumb, fresh off vacation. We saw on 43 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: your social media, Jp Rosenbaumb, good to see you, buddy. 44 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,639 Speaker 2: It is thank you for having me. We are way 45 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 2: we passed you to catch up. 46 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 1: I know we keep saying that eventually. You know what, 47 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: So here's the thing. I have a baby being born. 48 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 1: It's not mine, thankfully, no, but we have a baby 49 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: that right this. I wanted to drop this on the 50 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,959 Speaker 1: podcast with you. We have a baby being born in 51 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: the family. No, Lauren's sister is prego and she's giving 52 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 1: birth very soon. So I'm going to be in the 53 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 1: general area and I'm like, you know what, They're not 54 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: gonna want me around the house all the time. I 55 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: want to be there to see the baby. I'm going 56 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: to be an uncle again. I'm really good at that. 57 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:55,920 Speaker 1: And then I'm going to just disappear and I'm going 58 00:02:55,960 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: to go on a day fishing trip with JP's No, 59 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,679 Speaker 1: this is going to happen this fall. I'm going to 60 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 1: tell you the baby's coming, and this is middle of fall. 61 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm going to come find you. 62 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 2: Okay, I need a little advance notice because. 63 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: I know you got kids. You got kids? 64 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 2: How are the kids? I'm talking about booking the right 65 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 2: fishing trip. 66 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about. That is so this is 67 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: going to happen because we do we you know what. 68 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: I'm at the stage of my life and I am 69 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,240 Speaker 1: seventy two years old now, but I am at the 70 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: stage in my life. How old are you now? I 71 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 1: really don't know. 72 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 2: I'm not far behind you. 73 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 1: Forty seven, forty seven? Okay, so I got you by 74 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 1: like four or five years. But I just turned fifty 75 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 1: three and I'm not gonna lie. I don't really care 76 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 1: about getting older. But I'm like, my fifty three that 77 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,120 Speaker 1: really seems odd to me. But I'm getting to the 78 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: stage in my life where I got to quit promising 79 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,880 Speaker 1: stuff and we got to start doing. 80 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. 81 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: I don't know. Do you have a lot of friends 82 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 1: like that? Because I do. I have very good friends 83 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: who I grew up with, and they are masterfully successful 84 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: at what they do in their financial field or entrepreneurs 85 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 1: or building businesses, whatever it is. And we're like, when 86 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: this happens, we'll do this. And I'm like, guys, what 87 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: will happen next? Is We're going to go to someone's funeral. 88 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think there's always an excuse not to do 89 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 2: things right. And you think you always have enough time, 90 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:25,039 Speaker 2: There's always going to be enough time. Yeah, but there isn't. 91 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 2: There never is no, So just do just do. 92 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, tomorrow has promised to no one. And I really 93 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:35,840 Speaker 1: have tried to be better, especially with Lauren and my kids, 94 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: just like, hey, do you want I'm a yes, yes 95 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,559 Speaker 1: I do. Let's go. Let's pick up and go to Europe. 96 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,280 Speaker 1: Let's pick up and go see the kids, Let's pick 97 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,600 Speaker 1: up whatever it is. Let's just go. 98 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, you know that, like you have the means, 99 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,359 Speaker 2: you have the flexibility. It's just just doing it. You know. 100 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 2: My dad, I think, I don't know, I don't need 101 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 2: to jump around you, but my dad jump around my mom, 102 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 2: My mom pasd the way in January. Yes, and you know, 103 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 2: my dad is now at the point where he doesn't 104 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 2: want to miss anything, birthdays, soccer games, I mean, you 105 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,280 Speaker 2: name it, you know. So he's like, you guys are 106 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,159 Speaker 2: going on vacation in Naples. I'm coming. I'm going fishing 107 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 2: again in two weeks down in the Keys. He's coming, 108 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 2: so you know it's not too late. But he's eighty 109 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,359 Speaker 2: four years old and now to be doing those things 110 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,920 Speaker 2: and saying yes and not making excuses and just doing 111 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,919 Speaker 2: I have really put It's put things into perspective for 112 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 2: me the last month. 113 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: Well, because if you wait till you're eighty four, you know, 114 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: God bless your dad. I'm so glad he's doing that 115 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,719 Speaker 1: because he's going to get that time and your kids 116 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: will now remember their grandfather very vividly and on their 117 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,840 Speaker 1: fishing trips and stuff. But he's not jumping out and 118 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 1: playing pick a ball. He's not going out and playing golf. 119 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,119 Speaker 1: You know, he's not throwing them around the pool. He's 120 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: sitting there taking it all in I'm sure at eighty four. 121 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:54,880 Speaker 1: But so that's the thing. It's like we have this 122 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,840 Speaker 1: window and look the backside of that window. We're still around, 123 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: but we're not as active as you know, you can 124 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: be with the kids. So it's like do it now 125 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: and and now you you know, I hate to say this, 126 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 1: but we will get to the point where we're kind 127 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: of taking care of our parents and then our kids 128 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,040 Speaker 1: are going to be taking care of us. It's a 129 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,600 Speaker 1: circle of life, man. 130 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 2: That that's it. So when you know your original question, 131 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 2: do I friends that that every everyone I know at 132 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 2: this stage of our lives has the same I'm going 133 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 2: to call out excuses to not do things, and I 134 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 2: find that it's in my court a lot, like I 135 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,679 Speaker 2: have to make it happen. I have to do it. Okay, 136 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 2: you're not gonna come to me. I'm gonna come to you. 137 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,039 Speaker 2: And and you know, silver lining again with divorces that 138 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 2: you get every other weekend off. So it is a 139 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 2: good thing, more flexible than those you know, married couples, 140 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,840 Speaker 2: married friends that I have, and. 141 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 1: So I just I just do And it does take 142 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: someone to just do it. You got to just pull 143 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: the ripcord and go do it. And you know, I 144 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:55,039 Speaker 1: have even with my kids when I'm talking about getting 145 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 1: out and doing stuff like well I didn't get invited 146 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: to this, what it's like, Well did you invite everybody? 147 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: Like you know, you you can host the party, you 148 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 1: can host this. You can so you can make that call, 149 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: and you can make that trip and just show up. 150 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 1: And by the way, they're always thankful when you do. 151 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: It is an interesting perspective. And I do think divorce 152 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 1: then both of us are divorced. You've been divorced four 153 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 1: years now. I think it was like twenty twenty. I'm 154 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 1: going on a lot longer than that. I'm like thirteen 155 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 1: fourteen years and so, but it does. It gives you 156 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: that perspective and oddly the time, as you said, divorce 157 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 1: is equally tough and equally I don't want to say lovely, 158 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 1: but empowering maybe of you have time to do things 159 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: and you have kind of the perspective to actually want 160 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 1: to go do those things completely. 161 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 2: And you know, I laugh sometimes like when I was married, 162 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 2: if we gave each other the space that we kind 163 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 2: of have, that will when we're divorced. Yeah, there's something 164 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 2: to say about that, like be really, you'll be your 165 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 2: own person and do what you want to do and 166 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 2: not have the stress of raising kids for the day, 167 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 2: for the weekend. You know, you know they're in good hands, 168 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 2: and so there is something to say about that. 169 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: It's not you know what, and can we let's dive 170 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:11,120 Speaker 1: into this a little more, because let's just take the 171 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 1: the onus off of this. It's a good thing. And 172 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: I hate to say you're right, because I'm doing it 173 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: the second time around with Lauren. Lauren and I are 174 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: very defensive about giving each other space and time to 175 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 1: go on. She's like, it's amazing. If I go on 176 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: a golf trip, She's like, go, go grab JP, grab Wells, 177 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: go go with your boys, y'all go and have a blast. 178 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: And I'll get to Pebble Beach and there will be 179 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 1: a bottle of whiskey or a bottle of wine and 180 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 1: a note saying, have a great time with your guys. 181 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 1: And conversely, Lauren has amazing girlfriends she's had since college. 182 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 1: They go on these She just got back from her 183 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 1: girls trip. They go for four or five days. This 184 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: week she's going on her Experience Camp trip where she 185 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 1: is a counselor for kids who have lost a parent 186 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 1: or significant you know, are their sibling or whatever have you. 187 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: And she's gone for an entire week. And like, giving 188 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: us that time away makes us miss each other, but 189 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 1: it lets you recharge your batteries and realize how much 190 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 1: you do love each other and appreciate that. 191 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know. I think it also depends on 192 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 2: what stage of life you're in, right if very true newborn, 193 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 2: you know, to a two year old and a newborn, 194 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 2: like you're you're in the ship, you know, literally, it's 195 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 2: a little bit yeah, yeah, you know, it's a different 196 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,559 Speaker 2: phase of life than I am today or you are 197 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:34,320 Speaker 2: you know so, But I do think I have that 198 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 2: perspective of you know, how I would have it, not that, 199 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 2: not that it would have worked out. I'm just saying like, yeah, yeah, 200 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:44,559 Speaker 2: there's probably something to be said and an easier way 201 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 2: to navigate and navigate and balance things. And when you 202 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 2: do still maintain that level of I'm gonna call it freedom. 203 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: But you know, well, the independence is important. Look, and 204 00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:59,680 Speaker 1: I know people might be you listen, say hey, a hole, 205 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: I can't just pick up and go to Europe. I 206 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 1: get that, but like you, like JP just said, find 207 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 1: your escape, and that might just be hey, babe, go 208 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 1: to the golf range and hit balls for an hour tonight. 209 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 1: You need to like or you tell your wife to like, 210 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 1: you know what, why don't you go to the movies, 211 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: or why don't you set up a day where you 212 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: just go take care of yourself and get the manicure, pedicure, 213 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: whatever it is, go for the walk or just disappear 214 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 1: and just if you let each other just unplug and escape, 215 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 1: even if it's for an hour or two. Because I 216 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: know life is crazy, that's a big deal. Like just 217 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,680 Speaker 1: try and create that independence. So you got to unplug 218 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,440 Speaker 1: and get away from each other and from the kids 219 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 1: and from all the craziness. Is we're about to head 220 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 1: back into school. I mean, you're about to be in it, man. 221 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, they go back Thursday. 222 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:47,960 Speaker 1: But that's a good thing. I know a lot of 223 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 1: parents liked go back to school. Go back to school. 224 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: I need I need the structure, I need the timing. 225 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:57,200 Speaker 1: I can't entertain you twenty four to seven. And that's 226 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,959 Speaker 1: the thing too, you know, And I don't want to 227 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:03,320 Speaker 1: be the old guys on the porch, but growing up, 228 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,679 Speaker 1: our parents did not entertain this twenty four to seven. 229 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:08,079 Speaker 1: But I'm sure when you have your kids, you're planning 230 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,560 Speaker 1: every second of every day. 231 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,679 Speaker 2: You almost feel guilty when you're not. Yeah, they had 232 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 2: three weeks off in between camp and school, and you know, 233 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,199 Speaker 2: actually and I would split days, and there were two 234 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 2: days where they were home. I had to work from home, 235 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 2: trying to work, and I had nothing planned, and I 236 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 2: felt like anxious about it, you know, like that. And 237 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 2: I've had a few people say it's okay for them 238 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,319 Speaker 2: to do nothing. Yeah, it's okay for them to be 239 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,200 Speaker 2: bored and so, but yeah. 240 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,720 Speaker 1: They need this strength, it's okay for them to figure 241 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 1: out how to entertain themselves. And it's actually it's really 242 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,840 Speaker 1: I honestly say that was an important thing of our 243 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: imagination and our creativity of like, you know, and you 244 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: make fun of it, but we used to just get 245 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 1: the refrigerator box and build the fort and have a 246 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 1: great You'd never see my brother and I. We would 247 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 1: disappear for days, and it was the greatest thing in 248 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 1: the world. And you know, play with our army men 249 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,680 Speaker 1: or what have you. And we've just spent hours and 250 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,839 Speaker 1: hours doing that and get lost in that, and they 251 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 1: just I feel like the art of that is lost. 252 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 1: And I see my friends that have young kids, and 253 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 1: the kids are constantly coming in and say what am 254 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 1: I going to do now? What am I going to 255 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 1: do now? And they just jump on a screen and 256 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,560 Speaker 1: they get the screen time. And it's like, man, that 257 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 1: is a constant battle. I'm I'm glad I didn't have 258 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: to battle it as much because my kids weren't as 259 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: screen savvy as this generation. But you're in it, like, 260 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 1: have you dealt with and I don't know if your 261 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 1: kids have phones and all that yet, but have you 262 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 1: dealt with screen time, phones, social media, all that you have. 263 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 1: You and Ashley had those discussions, so we're not. 264 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:43,440 Speaker 2: At the phone level yet giving them phones. The general 265 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 2: consensus seems around like fifth and sixth. 266 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,319 Speaker 1: Grades, so middle school. 267 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, right, But we are pretty much on the 268 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,320 Speaker 2: same page when it comes to how much screen time 269 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:58,400 Speaker 2: we allow them. Right during the week, the timing of 270 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,679 Speaker 2: it is different between what she does and what I do. 271 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 2: But dr week, you know, homework's got to get done, 272 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 2: like there's an hour max. Do what you want to 273 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:10,240 Speaker 2: play a video game, go on your iPad whatever hour 274 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 2: max during the week, and then the weekends it slides 275 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 2: a little bit, you know, because there's a little more downtime. 276 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:19,320 Speaker 2: But I think we're very cognizant of how much or 277 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:21,920 Speaker 2: how little they are watching at any given time, because 278 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,360 Speaker 2: you know, you see kids at dinner and they're on 279 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,960 Speaker 2: their phone and they're like they're NonStop and this this 280 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 2: is like it's a drug. It's an absolute hundred percent. 281 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:32,959 Speaker 1: And the thing is we know this now, I mean, 282 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:37,280 Speaker 1: we know that Instagram, TikTok, all of it is so 283 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 1: bad for our kids. It is horrible for them. It 284 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 1: is an addiction and it's not helping them in any way, 285 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,160 Speaker 1: but it's become this thing that it eases our day. 286 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,440 Speaker 1: So here take take the phone. Have your kids even 287 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,200 Speaker 1: talked about social media yet? 288 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 2: They've seen like reels, you know, on Instagram, but they 289 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 2: they've spoke about likes every so often, but there's no 290 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,040 Speaker 2: I don't think there's a real understanding of what it 291 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,760 Speaker 2: is or what it's used for. And so we haven't 292 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 2: really gotten into it that much. 293 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,599 Speaker 1: I don't envy that with with parents, he is that. 294 00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 1: I don't envy the battle and and just you have 295 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,359 Speaker 1: a son and a daughter and and so do I 296 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 1: and just knowing body image and especially for our young 297 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 1: girls and young women growing up. Man, it just broke 298 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:32,120 Speaker 1: my heart because it's also this light into the world 299 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 1: that you're not invited to this. You're not cool, you're 300 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: not pretty, you're not that. It's all it's it's so negative, 301 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 1: but none of it is positive. 302 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm really I mean, I'm afraid of Look, they're 303 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 2: both very strong kids, but like anybody can be, is 304 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 2: influenced by it. And I'm really nervous just about self 305 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 2: esteem and you know, trying to make sure that they 306 00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:01,560 Speaker 2: understand that what they see there's it's not real. I 307 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 2: mean it's real, but it's not real, like, yeah, trying 308 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 2: to be able to explain that to them at a 309 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:06,680 Speaker 2: young age. 310 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: You're just seeing the best of the best of everybody 311 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: all the time, right. Co parenting I found very interesting 312 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 1: post divorce because no matter and you and Ashley, I 313 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 1: know have a good working relationship we'll call it where 314 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,400 Speaker 1: you both co parent, but at the same time you're 315 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 1: still separate. You know, it's very interesting when you're not 316 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: getting the twenty four to seven news feed of what's 317 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 1: going on all the time. I know the kids had 318 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,200 Speaker 1: a good week, I know they had a bad week. 319 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 1: I know they really did this or you know, all 320 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 1: you can really get is the perspective from your ex 321 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 1: when you kind of get the download when the kids 322 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,920 Speaker 1: come back. I found that very difficult because there was 323 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 1: always kind of that re entry as you start a 324 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,720 Speaker 1: new week of having the kids. 325 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:02,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, we just do things differently, you know, 326 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 2: And and the things that triggered each of us during 327 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 2: the marriage still trigger us after the marriage. That doesn't change. No, 328 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 2: now you're not married, maybe you give a little less of. 329 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,840 Speaker 1: A yeah, no, yeah, I think yeah, it exacerbates even 330 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 1: more because I think it's worse because now you really 331 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: don't give it out right. 332 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 2: I'm gonna do what I want to do anyway. I think, look, 333 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,920 Speaker 2: I know how she operates, and I know how she 334 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 2: deals with the kids in certain situations, and she knows 335 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 2: how I do it, and so there is less consistency 336 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:43,240 Speaker 2: because of that. I think the general message to them 337 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 2: is the same and I think they get that, but 338 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,240 Speaker 2: it's how it's delivered and how we manage it that 339 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 2: it's we do it differently. 340 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 1: That's all well, because you always did it differently, but 341 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 1: it was differently yet unified because it all came out 342 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 1: of this big picture of parent and now when you're separate. 343 00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 1: And by the way, the kids are savvy, man, they 344 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: know they're they they're playing the game and pushing the 345 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,160 Speaker 1: buttons with her, push the buttons with you, and it's 346 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 1: it is a constant negotiation. I found it very fascinating 347 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 1: and it was very difficult for me. I don't know 348 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 1: if it was for you those first several I guess 349 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 1: months when the kids left and all of a sudden 350 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 1: there was no noise. There was you know, you wake 351 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 1: up and you're like, okay, I got nothing to do. Okay, 352 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 1: I'd go do anything, and there's wonderful freedom in that, 353 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 1: but it's also kind of a weird, lonely feeling at first. 354 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:39,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, we had a very drawn out called 355 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 2: divorce separation, right because we decided right before COVID hit, 356 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,400 Speaker 2: and then literally a week or two weeks before COVID hit, 357 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,400 Speaker 2: then it hit. The kids came home from school, how 358 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,679 Speaker 2: are we going to sell the house? I'm not going 359 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 2: to stay in our room. Like, it was a very 360 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 2: strange year till you know. 361 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,040 Speaker 1: She event Yeah, what a weird time to do it. 362 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 2: It was bizarre. And then she ended up moving out 363 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:02,919 Speaker 2: and we sold the house and I moved out, and like, 364 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,479 Speaker 2: the kids see all this in different phases, and so 365 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,119 Speaker 2: it wasn't like a quick hey I'm moving out. You know, 366 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,959 Speaker 2: we're getting divorced. That never happened. So every phase of 367 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,479 Speaker 2: the divorce was kind of like gradual, and so it 368 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,600 Speaker 2: all became a matter of fact to them. I don't 369 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 2: even remember the first day that she slept in her 370 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,679 Speaker 2: new place with the kids. Like, it's all such a 371 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 2: blur to me because it was just drawn out over 372 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:30,399 Speaker 2: so long. 373 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,919 Speaker 1: I you know, it's funny and I don't blame you 374 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 1: and Ashley at all for this. But and I don't 375 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 1: know if you remember, but so your season of The Bachelorette, 376 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,640 Speaker 1: when we were in Fiji where we shot your finale 377 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:51,920 Speaker 1: and Ashley's season, was like the penultimate meltdown of my divorce. 378 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 1: That was when everything was happening. I don't think I 379 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 1: knew that, and I was, I mean, I was so detached. 380 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,800 Speaker 1: I felt ad because I mean I was kind of 381 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,200 Speaker 1: I was literally having these phone calls. We were in Asia, 382 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,399 Speaker 1: and I remember, I don't know if you remember this 383 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 1: rose ceremony were in some of these old ruins, and 384 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: I forget where we were in Asia. Maybe we're in 385 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 1: Thailand or something. And I kind of had to stand 386 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: over in this like column to hide from the camera, 387 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,600 Speaker 1: and I was by myself, and I'm literally on my 388 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:24,240 Speaker 1: phone texting my ex back in LA and we're having 389 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,920 Speaker 1: this really big blow up and I have to walk 390 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,159 Speaker 1: out and deliver the line for the rose ceremony. I 391 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 1: have to sit down with Ashley and talk about love 392 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,399 Speaker 1: and who she's in love with and all this, and 393 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,959 Speaker 1: then I would go right back to like my life 394 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: melting down behind the scenes, and nobody knew. I didn't 395 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:43,199 Speaker 1: tell anybody it was a why it was Ashley season 396 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,640 Speaker 1: and then Emily Maynard season were really the two big 397 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,520 Speaker 1: seasons that stood out to me of like total disaster. 398 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,640 Speaker 2: Oh no, I had no idea. I can't imagine having 399 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:56,440 Speaker 2: to go through trying to two people falling in love 400 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 2: and that's. 401 00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,919 Speaker 1: And having this, you know, and just going and that 402 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 1: was the thing. It was like this. I almost thought 403 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,239 Speaker 1: I was in a sitcom because I was, you know, 404 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,960 Speaker 1: having this really heated text and you know, at times 405 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 1: weren't nice and things were getting very heated. And then 406 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,880 Speaker 1: literally walk in and be like, okay, ash so you're 407 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:16,840 Speaker 1: taking JP to the fantasy suite. Do you think you 408 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,359 Speaker 1: know he's the one? And this love and you know, 409 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,320 Speaker 1: love is a very special thing and I want you 410 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 1: to get married. And all I'm thinking is, don't do it, man, 411 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 1: You're only. 412 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 2: Getting so so my situation is technically your fault. 413 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,680 Speaker 1: Yes, exactly. No, I should have saved you, guys, it 414 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 1: was a hunt. I should have just stood up and said, 415 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: this whole thing's a farce. I don't believe in love, nough. 416 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 1: I I oddly do still believe in love very much, 417 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:45,240 Speaker 1: obviously as I got remarried again, And so how's the 418 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 1: dating world for you? Getting back into it was a 419 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 1: very strange thing for me. What was it like for 420 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,960 Speaker 1: you to start going on those first few dates. 421 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:59,480 Speaker 2: I had a very difficult time with divorce, just mentally, 422 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 2: Like it took me a year and a half, maybe 423 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 2: even two years to really feel like I was able 424 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:12,400 Speaker 2: to connect with somebody. It's you know, it's it's it's 425 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,160 Speaker 2: like a death. 426 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,880 Speaker 1: One hundred percent. I tell people that it is very 427 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 1: much a morning process. You go through all the phases 428 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: of that for sure. 429 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, And and mine was very long, not because I 430 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,399 Speaker 2: wanted to be back with her, but just it was like, 431 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,840 Speaker 2: how can this be happening to me? And are the 432 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 2: kids going to be okay? And like that whole I 433 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 2: was kind of a wreck for a year and a half. 434 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 2: And so I would go out on gates and this 435 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 2: is tarble to say, but I was really just going 436 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,600 Speaker 2: through the motion. I really was just trying to get 437 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,359 Speaker 2: comfortable with being around and trying to see can I 438 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,360 Speaker 2: connect with somebody else again? And so the first year 439 00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 2: and a half two years it was it was bad. 440 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,800 Speaker 2: I mean, I went out, but like it wasn't. 441 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 1: There by the way, I'm right there with you. I 442 00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:01,359 Speaker 1: totally resemble that and did the exact same thing because 443 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 1: I felt so guilty about the kids and they They 444 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:08,679 Speaker 1: will also say that it takes so say you were 445 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,720 Speaker 1: married for eight years, it will essentially take four years. 446 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 1: It takes half the time you were with that person 447 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:18,280 Speaker 1: or in that relationship to truly be over it. And 448 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,920 Speaker 1: I don't mean like you know over you're over it. 449 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,439 Speaker 1: I mean you could be ready to move on, but 450 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 1: like truly have your life in place and the kids 451 00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:29,199 Speaker 1: and feel mentally, emotionally healthy to move past it. And 452 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 1: that's a crazy thing to think, you know, two three, 453 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,639 Speaker 1: four years that's about right, that's what it takes to 454 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,840 Speaker 1: truly deal with that loss and move on. 455 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,159 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I've you know, I finally got there. I 456 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 2: mean I'm not you know, I still probably have work 457 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,000 Speaker 2: to do, but but I we all do. 458 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:46,320 Speaker 1: Man. 459 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's I mean, that's a lifetime. 460 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:53,240 Speaker 1: So there was because I I look, there's there's a 461 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 1: reason there's the old saying about you know, never you know, 462 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 1: marry the first person you meet after a divorce, So 463 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 1: you know, don't ever be that first person after a breakup, 464 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,200 Speaker 1: because it's not going to go well. That is very true. 465 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,120 Speaker 1: Now that I've been there myself, I'm like, oh, yeah, 466 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,359 Speaker 1: that's very true. The poor girl that dated me the 467 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,160 Speaker 1: first time I got divorced, I'm like, I'm so sorry. 468 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 1: I actually knew her and remain friends, and I apologize 469 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 1: to her later. I was like, hey, sorry, my bad. 470 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny that. Like, I've got a couple of 471 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 2: people that wanted to set me up and my friend. 472 00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:32,240 Speaker 2: They're like and they lead with she just got divorced. 473 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 2: I'm like nope, Like well she's getting divorced. I'm like, nope, yeah, 474 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,360 Speaker 2: that's the worst. She's in the process up for getting divorced. 475 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:44,320 Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I want to unwind that. No, I'm like, 476 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:45,920 Speaker 2: you got to be at least a year out. 477 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: That means they're going to go back and forth a 478 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 1: couple of times. There's gonna be I'm not. 479 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 2: Gonna be a crutch. And admittedly, like I did that right, 480 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:58,400 Speaker 2: I used women as crutches like to kind of get through. 481 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:00,680 Speaker 1: And unbeknowkst to you, you do it and you look 482 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 1: back at it, you don't realize you're doing it. In 483 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 1: the moment, there's no malice to it. 484 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, No, and some of them may have even been 485 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 2: the little I'm gonna say forced is the wrong word, 486 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 2: because I knew it was good for me, and it 487 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 2: wasn't like I didn't enjoy spending time with them. I did, 488 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 2: but I just knew that it wasn't getting anywhere. And 489 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,960 Speaker 2: I still maybe stayed in a little longer than I 490 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 2: should have. And granted, I have a lot of perspective now, but. 491 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I well, it's funny. There's things that, like 492 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,879 Speaker 1: I got divorced in somebodies of mine where they were 493 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 1: trying to do the right thing. And I'm interested to 494 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,200 Speaker 1: know if you had friends that did this, like let's 495 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 1: go to Vegas. You know, we're going to burn a 496 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,280 Speaker 1: hole through the world a mile wide and that. And 497 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't love Vegas. I don't go there 498 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,480 Speaker 1: very often. I'm not a big Vegas guy. I don't 499 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:47,159 Speaker 1: love clubs and stuff. And so I said, yeah, I'm like, okay, 500 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,199 Speaker 1: I get I'm like, this is what I'm supposed to 501 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,879 Speaker 1: do now, right, I've been divorced after being married for 502 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,359 Speaker 1: twenty years. I have a little money, I have a 503 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,960 Speaker 1: little fame. I guess I need to like burn a 504 00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,240 Speaker 1: hole through the world. That's my that's my thing now, 505 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 1: and I was just it was almost depressing to think about. 506 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,320 Speaker 1: Then a buddy called me said, Hey, man, me and 507 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:07,880 Speaker 1: some guys are going fishing up in Oregon, just a bunch, 508 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 1: just a guy's trip, whiskey cigars. I'm like, that's my escape. 509 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,920 Speaker 1: That's what i want to do. Cancel the Vegas trip, 510 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,960 Speaker 1: wet fishing. And but there's things you do, is the 511 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,120 Speaker 1: point to all this. There's things you do because you're 512 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 1: going through the motions and you're like, well, I saw 513 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,720 Speaker 1: this in a movie once. I guess I'm supposed to 514 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: do it. 515 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm the exact same, like I I wasn't living 516 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 2: vicariously through me. When they say that, it kind of 517 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,320 Speaker 2: gives like, what what are you going to live vicarious? 518 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,960 Speaker 2: Like there's I'm not that exciting, right and and I'm 519 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,160 Speaker 2: not going to Vegas and I'm not doing those sorts 520 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 2: of things. I'm still me, you know, granted, kind of 521 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:49,040 Speaker 2: how we started the conversation, I am saying a yes, 522 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,439 Speaker 2: saying yes to a lot more, right So even if 523 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,600 Speaker 2: it's hey, come out to LA for the weekend and 524 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 2: see some friends, or I'm definitely saying yes to a 525 00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 2: lot more. But I'm still me. I'm still doing the 526 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,120 Speaker 2: things that I like to do. I have kids now, 527 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 2: so I still have to be somewhat responsible. 528 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, you. 529 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 2: Know, but but I was I was never. I was 530 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,959 Speaker 2: never that that kind of guy that I would just 531 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 2: let loose to that extent. So you know, I'm not 532 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:19,280 Speaker 2: going to change now. 533 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,679 Speaker 1: Nor nor should we at this stage in our lives. 534 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,680 Speaker 1: So you're four years, you know, into this. Where are 535 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,959 Speaker 1: you in this journey to kind of rediscover yourself? 536 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,360 Speaker 2: You can't say that word, what journey? 537 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,240 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're a good point. You're right. Where are 538 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: you in this process is what it is. No, but 539 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:43,120 Speaker 1: where are you in, like dating now, looking for love? 540 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,399 Speaker 1: Are you open to that, ready for it at this 541 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 1: point in your life, because it seems like you're in 542 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:47,919 Speaker 1: a really healthy place. 543 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I I am, and I know exactly the dynamic 544 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,360 Speaker 2: that I am looking for. I mean, I can't write it. 545 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,120 Speaker 1: Out because I got a great girl for you. I'm 546 00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:57,639 Speaker 1: just kidding you. 547 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,360 Speaker 2: Want you have you burned up all three? 548 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:04,639 Speaker 1: Yes, that's true. I use that trump card. 549 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 2: I know what works, yeah right, and I know what 550 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,919 Speaker 2: doesn't work, and I know the red flags and I 551 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,760 Speaker 2: know who to kind of to put my time into 552 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 2: and who not to waste time. And not that I'm 553 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,959 Speaker 2: not giving people opportunities. I am, but I just I 554 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,960 Speaker 2: just now have enough experience with relationships and love and 555 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:28,159 Speaker 2: family and growth, you know that, that I really know 556 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 2: what's important to me. And so it's been challenging. Like 557 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 2: I don't I'm not from Miami. So first of all, 558 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,400 Speaker 2: meeting people down here organically for me is difficult because 559 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 2: the friends that I do have, you know, they're married kids. 560 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 1: That's a really tough part to this when you know 561 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,679 Speaker 1: no one tells you about that post divorce. It's you 562 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,440 Speaker 1: don't have that social circle where hey, let's go out 563 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,240 Speaker 1: and grab a beer, maybe we'll meet somebody. 564 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 2: It is I can count on one hand in the 565 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,840 Speaker 2: last maybe three years that I've done exactly that. Yeah, 566 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 2: just because it's just they're no, I don't have that 567 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:04,440 Speaker 2: kind of network here in the stage of the life 568 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,639 Speaker 2: that I'm in. So I do rely on apps a 569 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 2: lot just to at least meet people, and I hate them. 570 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,560 Speaker 2: It's a needle in the haystack. And you know, Miami's 571 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:17,119 Speaker 2: a little Miami, you know what I mean, You know 572 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 2: what I mean. So it's challenging to meet people. But 573 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,639 Speaker 2: I've met some nice women I've dated for two to 574 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 2: three months. You know, generally they end because it fizzles 575 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 2: and it's just not there, and I'm looking for that 576 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:33,120 Speaker 2: connection again. 577 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 1: Have you have you noticed with the show, because I 578 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 1: even found this as the host and being around the show, 579 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 1: that when I started dating, I had to really check 580 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 1: myself from being a producer of thinking along the lines 581 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:50,440 Speaker 1: and the stages of this, and I would get ahead 582 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 1: of myself and I could kind of see where this 583 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 1: was going way too fast, and I'm like, I'm not 584 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:59,560 Speaker 1: giving this a fair shake, or maybe I am, and 585 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,680 Speaker 1: I just and see this faster than everybody. 586 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 2: Now. 587 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:03,440 Speaker 1: I don't know, it was really weird. 588 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 2: I don't know have to show it anything to do 589 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 2: with it. I meant, I definitely look within, Like the 590 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,760 Speaker 2: first fifteen minutes, I'm in my head and like I 591 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,479 Speaker 2: don't want to spend any more time with her, you know, 592 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,080 Speaker 2: And then I try to keep it going, so I 593 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 2: try not to get in my own way, which I 594 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 2: think I do a lot. But ninety nine percent of 595 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 2: the time, like those where I had the initial gut 596 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,400 Speaker 2: feeling it's not going to work. Two months later, like 597 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 2: I knew it. It's not going to work. 598 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,760 Speaker 1: And there will be that time when you when you 599 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,880 Speaker 1: don't have that and you're like, it hits you upside 600 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,239 Speaker 1: the head and you're like, oh my god, Okay, it 601 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 1: does exist. It's out there. It's frustrating to find it. 602 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,640 Speaker 1: But when you do, it's so fantastic, and you're like, 603 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,680 Speaker 1: you're reminded how good it can be and how effortless 604 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,960 Speaker 1: and fun and easy and all those exciting words. 605 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:53,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I would say maybe maybe there's been one 606 00:29:54,920 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 2: with potential where I felt kind of excited again. Yeah, 607 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:05,080 Speaker 2: you know, but for the most part, it's it's uh, 608 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,600 Speaker 2: it's tough. It's it's tough out there. 609 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 1: Is it hard to watch it? You know, Ashley has 610 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 1: obviously moved on, and she's been very public about it, 611 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 1: social media wise and all that. And that's one thing 612 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 1: I will say about breakups. It's you know, I had 613 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,000 Speaker 1: to talk with a friend of mine who lost his 614 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 1: wife who I was very good friends with, and he says, 615 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 1: you know, the thing is, my wife's gone. You know, 616 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: I can't get her back. I'm sad. I love her, 617 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 1: but she's gone in divorce. She's not gone. She's on 618 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,040 Speaker 1: Facebook she's on Instagram, You're going to see her all 619 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:50,000 Speaker 1: the time. And you know, when when two famous people 620 00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,560 Speaker 1: and you know, I'm going to use that term loosely, 621 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 1: we're all kind of have a moderkham of fame. But still, 622 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 1: you guys are known, and you know, Ashley has been 623 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:01,400 Speaker 1: very public about that. Has that been hard her to 624 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 1: kind of deal with her or honestly, does it give 625 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,440 Speaker 1: you a little bit of okay, good, she's kind of 626 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,080 Speaker 1: doing her thing. I can go do mine. 627 00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,440 Speaker 2: It's been three years, they've been dating for three years. 628 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,960 Speaker 2: Early on it was it was tough, especially when I 629 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,600 Speaker 2: knew he was spending time with the kids. 630 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:18,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 631 00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 2: I've had a major internal struggle with that. So I 632 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 2: would say then it got easier. It just got easier. 633 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:35,360 Speaker 2: Early on, I actually muted her Instagram, so I would 634 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,960 Speaker 2: like I'd have to manually go to look if I 635 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,280 Speaker 2: was to do it, and sometimes when she has the kids, 636 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 2: I would have I would have done that. But for 637 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:43,560 Speaker 2: the most part, I try to stay off it. 638 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,720 Speaker 1: Because it does no good. 639 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:50,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, my god, it went down a spiral of death. 640 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:54,560 Speaker 2: I mean, it was terrible in the beginning. So now 641 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,479 Speaker 2: it doesn't bug me as much. I mean, you know, 642 00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 2: he's a bit obviously a very big part of her life. 643 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,520 Speaker 2: He and his family spend time with the kids, and 644 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,480 Speaker 2: you know, it's somewhat nice for him that the kids 645 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,720 Speaker 2: to have that kind of a family down here. You know, 646 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,920 Speaker 2: her family's in Maine. Yeah, my dad and my brother 647 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 2: they're all in New York. So if we see each 648 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,360 Speaker 2: other three or four times a year, it's a lot. 649 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,160 Speaker 1: I wish I would move back up north. 650 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,600 Speaker 2: If the kids weren't around, I'd probably be back up north. 651 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:26,480 Speaker 1: I went through the same thing post divorce. My ex 652 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:31,160 Speaker 1: moved on and got remarried quicker than I did. She 653 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:34,280 Speaker 1: was married first, and at first, you know, it is 654 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,240 Speaker 1: it's very awkward because of the kids, right another man 655 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:41,480 Speaker 1: in the kids' lives, and there's that kind of territorial 656 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:43,440 Speaker 1: thing that I think guys have. I don't know if 657 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:45,960 Speaker 1: women have the same thing. I know she did to 658 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:49,320 Speaker 1: a certain degree. Luckily she met Lauren and we were 659 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:53,560 Speaker 1: both very respectful of introducing and I respected her enough, 660 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,160 Speaker 1: and I'm sure you did too. Like you knew Ashley, 661 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,040 Speaker 1: and I knew, you know, my ex was going to 662 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,880 Speaker 1: pick somebody that was also a good mom or a 663 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:04,160 Speaker 1: good dad. You know, that would be a good role model, 664 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,480 Speaker 1: but it's still just not you. And so it was 665 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,640 Speaker 1: hard at first, and then you realize it's just a 666 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,120 Speaker 1: bonus person in their life, and he is. He's been 667 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,400 Speaker 1: nothing but wonderful and loving to my kids. And Lauren 668 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 1: of course, has been such a positive force in my kids' 669 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:21,040 Speaker 1: lives and now I can't even imagine her not being 670 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:25,480 Speaker 1: around the kids. And so time does heal those wounds? 671 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm so I don't. I wouldn't say that 672 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:31,840 Speaker 2: still is as enthusiastic about it as as it's been. 673 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: It's been over a decade for me. 674 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,400 Speaker 2: Man, Yeah, I've got some catching but I will say 675 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:40,720 Speaker 2: that that is the only trigger recent trigger the last 676 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,920 Speaker 2: year for me is me seeing him with the kids 677 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,800 Speaker 2: and you know, whether it's playing basketball or throwing him 678 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,600 Speaker 2: in the pool or whatever it is where it's like 679 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 2: I should be doing. 680 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,480 Speaker 1: That, Yeah that was me, that was my It was me, that. 681 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,360 Speaker 2: Should be me. Nobody else should be doing that other 682 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,040 Speaker 2: than me. Yeah, so I still struggle with that, Like 683 00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 2: it's it's still uncomfortable for me. You know, I don't 684 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,160 Speaker 2: spend half my kid's childhood with them, and like, now 685 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,440 Speaker 2: somebody else is and playing that yes he'll never be 686 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:11,520 Speaker 2: their father, I get all, yeah, but still a father 687 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,200 Speaker 2: like role and doing things you know that I really 688 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,640 Speaker 2: should be there doing it's it's that is the longest 689 00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,280 Speaker 2: lasting challenge. 690 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,879 Speaker 1: Have you had those moments? You know, big moments in life, 691 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:27,319 Speaker 1: whether they're big birthdays, graduations, you know, those things are 692 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,359 Speaker 1: very interesting because you start to have to share them 693 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:33,440 Speaker 1: with that person. They're they're there. You know, typically if 694 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,120 Speaker 1: you have a decent enough relationship, some people, you know, 695 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,920 Speaker 1: the good news is, you know, some people have a relationship, 696 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:40,440 Speaker 1: they can't even be in the same state or in 697 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,759 Speaker 1: the same room period. So if things are good enough, 698 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:45,520 Speaker 1: you can at least share those moments. And you know, 699 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,080 Speaker 1: my ex and I have, and I'm sure you and 700 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,360 Speaker 1: Ashley will. So you'll be at the soccer game, or 701 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,920 Speaker 1: you'll be at the graduation and you're all there together 702 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,080 Speaker 1: and everybody puts on the smiley face. 703 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:56,840 Speaker 2: Yeah you fake it, I guess. I mean, look, he 704 00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:01,319 Speaker 2: I actually didn't meet him for a very very long time, 705 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:06,520 Speaker 2: and there were moments where she would text me and 706 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,800 Speaker 2: say He's gonna come to the basketball game, and I 707 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,200 Speaker 2: would lose my ship, you know, like I'm coaching, like 708 00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,680 Speaker 2: I don't want to see him on the sideline, like no, no, 709 00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:16,160 Speaker 2: and like you want me to make a scene, I'll 710 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,800 Speaker 2: totally make a scene. I don't care. So and granted 711 00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,440 Speaker 2: it's it's ridiculous, right, and I was being probably being 712 00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,800 Speaker 2: a baby about it, but like I just wasn't ready, 713 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,640 Speaker 2: Like I didn't want that to be the first time 714 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:27,399 Speaker 2: I met him either. 715 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:31,759 Speaker 1: So look, you wish you had the wherewithal to say, Ashlock, 716 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 1: I'm mentally and emotionally just not ready for this. Can 717 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,400 Speaker 1: you respect that? You know you wish you had said that, 718 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,000 Speaker 1: But what you'd said was. 719 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:44,879 Speaker 2: I don't really care. You know, I may have used 720 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 2: that card three thousand times prior to that, and to 721 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,520 Speaker 2: the point where she was probably saying to me, Look, 722 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,480 Speaker 2: it's been long enough. I think he should probably meet himself. 723 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,480 Speaker 2: But I think this basketball season he might might come 724 00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:57,960 Speaker 2: to the game. 725 00:35:58,520 --> 00:35:59,760 Speaker 1: So have y'all finally met? 726 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, we finally met. Okay, we finally met. That's good. Yeah, 727 00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:04,600 Speaker 2: they moved in together. 728 00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:10,760 Speaker 1: I mean, it's look, it's it's never it's never not different. 729 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,520 Speaker 1: I won't say it's never not awkward, because the awkwardness 730 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:17,759 Speaker 1: does go away, but it's never not different. That's just 731 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,719 Speaker 1: the new normal, and that's what we chose, right, And 732 00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:23,399 Speaker 1: so I always felt like you aren't allowed to put 733 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,399 Speaker 1: that on the kids. They didn't sign up for this. 734 00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 1: You did, You and Ashley did. So it's like, you know, 735 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, everyone's just gonna have to make nice 736 00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:35,720 Speaker 1: and realize it's zero point five percent of our time 737 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,439 Speaker 1: this year that we're all going to have to worry 738 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,719 Speaker 1: about this, you know. The other ninety nine point five 739 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,759 Speaker 1: we can go have our own world and do our 740 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:44,200 Speaker 1: own thing. 741 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:48,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. No, And I think if there's one thing that 742 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:49,680 Speaker 2: one of the things that she and I are on 743 00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:52,040 Speaker 2: the same page is like the kids never see any 744 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,600 Speaker 2: of well, like we're talking about, they don't. They wouldn't 745 00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,960 Speaker 2: know about any of this, right, They would know them uncomfortable. 746 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,799 Speaker 2: They wouldn't know my conversation. They wouldn't know. So look 747 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,560 Speaker 2: if if if Ford says to me, hey, Dad, you 748 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,680 Speaker 2: know he's going to be at the basketball game, I'd 749 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:08,440 Speaker 2: be like great, you know, like I wouldn't be like, no's. 750 00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,680 Speaker 1: Over my dead body, right, So they. 751 00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,880 Speaker 2: Would they don't know any different. And I think we 752 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,319 Speaker 2: do a very good job of putting on a little 753 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,319 Speaker 2: bit of a front so that they are comfortable and 754 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:20,879 Speaker 2: they see that it is a kind of one big, 755 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:24,680 Speaker 2: happy family. But I will say there's I don't understand 756 00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:28,040 Speaker 2: those couples that go on vacations with their ex and 757 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,160 Speaker 2: their family. That's never happening. I don't care. 758 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:32,920 Speaker 1: So I, by the way, I so agree with that. 759 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,640 Speaker 1: I like I have I don't even have respect for it. 760 00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:37,440 Speaker 1: I don't know, you know. I was like, I just 761 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:40,480 Speaker 1: don't even know how you get there, because obviously we 762 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,239 Speaker 1: got divorced for a reason. However amicable we are now, 763 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 1: we're divorced for a reason. It's because we don't want 764 00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,600 Speaker 1: to travel and be together and live together. So yeah, 765 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,080 Speaker 1: those those couples that are like, oh, yeah, we you know, 766 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:56,719 Speaker 1: I'm best friends with the wife and we No, no, no. 767 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 2: No, you're really not. You're keeping her close because you 768 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:00,120 Speaker 2: don't trust. 769 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:04,600 Speaker 1: Right, keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer, exactly. 770 00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:10,120 Speaker 1: It is so true. Beyond love and all that stuff, 771 00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,040 Speaker 1: life is good. Work is still the same. 772 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:18,080 Speaker 2: And yeah, life is good. Uh, work is great. Busy. 773 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,759 Speaker 2: I have flexibility when it comes to the kids, so 774 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:25,520 Speaker 2: I don't miss anything. Yeah, you know, it's just it's 775 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 2: just the balance of trying to get them to see 776 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,279 Speaker 2: their family as much as possible and doing the right 777 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:34,600 Speaker 2: thing and being the right parent. And but life's good. 778 00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,160 Speaker 1: And they'll get to an age too, I think, you know, 779 00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:40,560 Speaker 1: I you it's it's oddly reminiscent of me. We were 780 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,120 Speaker 1: kind of similar as far as the ages we're going 781 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:46,319 Speaker 1: through divorce and stuff. You were in your mid right 782 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,360 Speaker 1: around mid forties. I was kind of younger, a little 783 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:52,000 Speaker 1: younger than that when I started, but the kids were 784 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,040 Speaker 1: about the same age. And I found the older the 785 00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:58,920 Speaker 1: kids got, obviously the easier the divorce and all that 786 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,239 Speaker 1: stuff becomes. You know, time goes by, but also the 787 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,960 Speaker 1: kids get older, more self sufficient. You know, they get 788 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,799 Speaker 1: into middle school and they're gone. You know, they just 789 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:10,360 Speaker 1: they need parents around a lot less and that helps, 790 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,920 Speaker 1: you know, that starts the separation and creates more space 791 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:15,480 Speaker 1: for both of you, and it definitely helped. 792 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, And there's just tons of activities and this basketball 793 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:22,160 Speaker 2: practice and things, and so you know, they're not with us. 794 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,880 Speaker 2: I think I think what will become a little bit 795 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,920 Speaker 2: challenging is right now we're fifty to fifty and we 796 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,560 Speaker 2: do two two three, so they're constantly kind of going 797 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:32,520 Speaker 2: back and forth every two days, and I think as 798 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,200 Speaker 2: they get a little bit older, and maybe we'll go 799 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:35,959 Speaker 2: to the to the week week or something. 800 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:37,600 Speaker 1: We did the week on a week off, and we 801 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:40,080 Speaker 1: tried it both ways for a while, and we did 802 00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:42,279 Speaker 1: the ten you know week, and then we went two, two, three, 803 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,120 Speaker 1: and then we went back as it was like it 804 00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,880 Speaker 1: was just it helped us. Again, do everybody do their 805 00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:49,879 Speaker 1: own thing, but it just helped me, Like I want 806 00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:53,400 Speaker 1: to get into a system and where I'm you know, 807 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:55,879 Speaker 1: really digging into the kids for a week and I'm 808 00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,799 Speaker 1: making their meals and we're planning and we're going through 809 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:02,840 Speaker 1: the weekend, et cetera. It's just the constant back and forth. Really, 810 00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:08,480 Speaker 1: there's shin guards everywhere and dance ballet shoes and it's 811 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,200 Speaker 1: like we were going back and forth to each other's houses. 812 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:12,480 Speaker 1: So I'm like, we got to stop this. 813 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,080 Speaker 2: Totally. We're not. I don't think we're there yet. I 814 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:18,960 Speaker 2: mean I could get there, but I don't think Ashley 815 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,560 Speaker 2: wants to be without them for a week yet. 816 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, that is it's tough. It's a long time. 817 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,440 Speaker 2: She doesn't want to be with them for a week either. 818 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:31,960 Speaker 1: That's no, It's so true. After a week. You're like, 819 00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:36,480 Speaker 1: I am done. That's so funny. You're like, I'm on 820 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:41,960 Speaker 1: the next plane out of here. But it is. It 821 00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:45,759 Speaker 1: is interesting when you know that week off, when there 822 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:47,600 Speaker 1: is you know, there's stuff going on, and you know, 823 00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:49,799 Speaker 1: you you you kind of check back in and see them. 824 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,879 Speaker 1: And we kind of had the rule of if you're 825 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,160 Speaker 1: lonely and you're just missing them, you're more than welcome 826 00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,080 Speaker 1: to take them to dinner. You know, hey, you pick 827 00:40:58,120 --> 00:40:59,960 Speaker 1: them up from soccer tonight, take them to dinner, and 828 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:01,440 Speaker 1: then drop them back off at the house. It was, 829 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:03,560 Speaker 1: you know, we try to be good about that because 830 00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,719 Speaker 1: a week is, especially at first when they're young, that's 831 00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:06,279 Speaker 1: a long time. 832 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, and she would We would be also. I mean, 833 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,719 Speaker 2: even if we went a week, we're so flexible. I 834 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,040 Speaker 2: can't can you watch, I can't pick them up. We're 835 00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:17,400 Speaker 2: we're pretty flexible, which makes it easier. 836 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:19,200 Speaker 1: This is the this is by the way, this is 837 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,440 Speaker 1: the show I probably should be doing at this point. Uh. 838 00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,600 Speaker 1: You know, I love love, and I love helping people 839 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,160 Speaker 1: find love. But what I think I'm probably really good 840 00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:31,719 Speaker 1: at now is is helping people through divorce. Is that 841 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:32,400 Speaker 1: the new show? 842 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:39,160 Speaker 2: I think there's definitely, definitely enough action and drama and yes, yes. 843 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,960 Speaker 1: I'm creating a show. You will survive and more exactly 844 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,920 Speaker 1: and more shall pass, This too shall pass. 845 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,239 Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like it needs to end though with 846 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,560 Speaker 2: them finding love again. I don't like there's got to 847 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,160 Speaker 2: be hope. So people have to hold on to some 848 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,080 Speaker 2: level of hope. And you're right, we do. 849 00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:57,160 Speaker 1: We got to work on what the button is. We 850 00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,279 Speaker 1: got to figure out what that button is other than 851 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:02,760 Speaker 1: just not killing each other. That's a good thing, right, dude. 852 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,080 Speaker 1: It's so good to talk to you and to catch up. 853 00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:07,840 Speaker 1: And we are both, as we said, at the phase 854 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:09,879 Speaker 1: and at the age of our lives when we say 855 00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:13,560 Speaker 1: yes and we're actually going to make things happen. This 856 00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,879 Speaker 1: is going to happen. I'm I'm coming to Florida more 857 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:19,520 Speaker 1: often now. I'm just going to take it upon myself 858 00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:20,680 Speaker 1: to drive over and see you. 859 00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:23,960 Speaker 2: I'm going to text you the weekends I am off 860 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:27,799 Speaker 2: in October and November because September is not going to work. 861 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,279 Speaker 2: October November and you're going to pick one and I'm 862 00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:31,839 Speaker 2: going to find a suffish and chip and we're going 863 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:35,760 Speaker 2: to go and it's happening. That's it. 864 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,239 Speaker 1: This is happening finally, and then and by the way, 865 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:40,760 Speaker 1: we'll put it up and everyone can see the aftermath 866 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,680 Speaker 1: on social media would be two really boring guys showing fish. 867 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,839 Speaker 1: That's what every woman wants to see on social media exactly. 868 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:51,440 Speaker 1: By the way, you know, I should probably dive in 869 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,120 Speaker 1: and take a look at your dating profiles. Please tell 870 00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,200 Speaker 1: me there's not one picture of you and a fish. 871 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,040 Speaker 2: No. I was warned early on. 872 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,040 Speaker 1: Okay, good, good, good, I take I do some of. 873 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,200 Speaker 2: My best work with fish. I'm just saying. 874 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:07,360 Speaker 1: It makes everything look bigger, exactly. 875 00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:12,680 Speaker 2: But no, that is that That is number one rules. 876 00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:14,359 Speaker 2: You don't do that, so I learned early on. 877 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,960 Speaker 1: You know, it's it's very interesting because you know, you 878 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,160 Speaker 1: do have that moderkrum of fame, and so I'm sure 879 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,440 Speaker 1: it is difficult. You know, you kind of have to 880 00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:24,600 Speaker 1: dabble on these apps. It's like, well, people enter into 881 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,919 Speaker 1: knowing already a little bit about you. You come into 882 00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:29,920 Speaker 1: this knowing nothing. And I found that very interesting when 883 00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,680 Speaker 1: I was dating. It's like, okay, you at least they 884 00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:34,920 Speaker 1: think they know, right, they don't know you, but they 885 00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,480 Speaker 1: think they know a large portion of your life because 886 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:39,480 Speaker 1: they saw it on TV or they see me on TV, 887 00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,600 Speaker 1: and then you know nothing about this person, and so 888 00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:45,920 Speaker 1: it makes that dynamic of truly getting to know someone 889 00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:47,680 Speaker 1: on a date more difficult. 890 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I haven't found that too much, just because my 891 00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:54,600 Speaker 2: you know, our season was so far removed. You're you, 892 00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:56,440 Speaker 2: and obviously we're getting part of the soil for a 893 00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,880 Speaker 2: very long time, but we're so far removed that sometime 894 00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,440 Speaker 2: someone will make the connection like you look so familiar, 895 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,919 Speaker 2: how do I know you? And I certainly don't lob 896 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,920 Speaker 2: it out there, and then other times they say, hey, 897 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:09,719 Speaker 2: were you on the batch? I'm like yeah, And so 898 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,560 Speaker 2: we kind of have gotten past it pretty quickly and 899 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,239 Speaker 2: all the circumstances that I've been in where it has 900 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:20,239 Speaker 2: popped up, so it hasn't been that challenging to navigate. 901 00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:24,239 Speaker 1: Well, I wish you the best on this, on this 902 00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:29,719 Speaker 1: journey that was intentional. And by the way, we are 903 00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:32,640 Speaker 1: going to be together very soon. You and I will 904 00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:36,800 Speaker 1: be together at a very special wedding in Los Angeles together, 905 00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,160 Speaker 1: So I look forward to seeing you there and that 906 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:43,400 Speaker 1: that is going to be an amazing wedding. And by 907 00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:44,759 Speaker 1: the way, I think Ashley is going to be there 908 00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:47,920 Speaker 1: as well. Does she not. 909 00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,360 Speaker 2: No, I don't think she was invited. 910 00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,279 Speaker 1: I think she I think you may want, you may 911 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:52,759 Speaker 1: may want. 912 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:55,839 Speaker 2: I think she would tell me if she was going. 913 00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,080 Speaker 1: Okay, wait, no, she can't. 914 00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:58,320 Speaker 2: She's got the kids. 915 00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,640 Speaker 1: Got the kids. That's good, that's why. Well, I know 916 00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:02,960 Speaker 1: you're going to be there and I'm looking forward to 917 00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:04,480 Speaker 1: it and Lauren and I can't wait to see and 918 00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,880 Speaker 1: give you a big hug and catch up. But we 919 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:08,840 Speaker 1: need to do it on your home turf soon. But 920 00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:12,080 Speaker 1: I appreciate the time. Always love talking to you, my friend, 921 00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:13,520 Speaker 1: and we got to do it more. 922 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,439 Speaker 2: Sounds good. Thanks hie Bud, all right, love. 923 00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:19,200 Speaker 1: You, Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the 924 00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:21,880 Speaker 1: most dramatic pod ever, and make sure to write us 925 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,440 Speaker 1: a review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to 926 00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:25,080 Speaker 1: you next time.