Speaker 1: This is our last toy, y'all. Hey, why you're so excited.
Speaker 1: Look how excited it is. Well, I'm not excited.
Speaker 2: You know. It's funny because live shows are actually my
Speaker 2: most favorite thing to do.
Speaker 1: I can't tell you're supposed to say dead ass.
Speaker 2: I was supposed to say dead ass ass.
Speaker 3: Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our.
Speaker 3: Boys and reading each other publicly as.
Speaker 1: A form of therapy. Wait, I make you need therapy
Speaker 1: most days. Wow.
Speaker 3: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 1: Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open
Speaker 1: dialogue about some of li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 3: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred,
Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 1: We about to take Billows off to our whole new level.
Speaker 2: Dead ass starts right now.
Speaker 1: Story time. Oh my god, I'm gonna take y'all back
Speaker 1: to two thousand and nineteen. That was the first time
Speaker 1: we did a live show.
Speaker 3: Was it twenty nineteen?
Speaker 1: Yes? It was. And as a matter of fact, Nah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take y'all back to two thousand and eighteen.
Speaker 1: Caudeen and I was on the Black Love panel and
Speaker 1: they did the Black Love Live panel, and this was
Speaker 1: in LA. It was us Sternley K. Brown and his wife.
Speaker 1: Who's the other couple, Oh, it's Tommy and Cody?
Speaker 3: Was it Michael Jah White?
Speaker 1: On that?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Not on that, depending on LA. It was just us
Speaker 1: three couples. And I had told the story about the
Speaker 1: stroller and how you cursed me out for what you
Speaker 1: thought was given away the stroller which wasn't given away.
Speaker 1: It was at my brother's house. Yes, yes, And in
Speaker 1: that moment, I had saw the reaction from the crowd
Speaker 1: that I had never saw before while I was telling
Speaker 1: the stories, and I was like, man, I actually loved
Speaker 1: telling these stories, but the feeling you get from telling
Speaker 1: the stories as opposed to creating a post on Instagram
Speaker 1: was completely different. And it was in that moment that
Speaker 1: I was just like, we need to go on tour.
Speaker 1: And that's when I came up with Devo's Truth Live.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 1: Posted by Kadeen. You would be hosting the whole storytelling
Speaker 1: and us going back and forth, which is ultimately that
Speaker 1: ass podcast.
Speaker 2: Right, because it was giving us stand up esque kind
Speaker 2: of feel but encompassing what the podcast show was like
Speaker 2: throwing down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because the whole idea to me was, we've never
Speaker 1: seen a stand up comedian tell stories about his family
Speaker 1: when his wife was there actually being able to either
Speaker 1: coroborate the story or be like niney of you lie
Speaker 1: right right right. And I just felt like it was
Speaker 1: a different dynamic that we've ever seen from anyone, And
Speaker 1: since I don't consider myself a stand up it was
Speaker 1: just a way for us to do our show in
Speaker 1: that way. So that was it only made sense, and
Speaker 1: then it morphed into the Dead Ass Podcast and then
Speaker 1: ultimately now Dead Ass Podcast Live. Dang, what song are
Speaker 1: we going to sing karaoke?
Speaker 2: What was one of our most popular songs? I feel
Speaker 2: like on tour people love dreams of nightmares?
Speaker 1: I was just about to say every time we closed
Speaker 1: this show and you hear hold on, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: y'all thought I was finished when I.
Speaker 3: Bought that, as in many y'all thought it was rented.
Speaker 1: It always turns the crowd like the crowd gets hype
Speaker 1: as a way to close it, because everybody knows dreams
Speaker 1: and nightmares, like the ultimate Hype song. They played that
Speaker 1: before every basketball, football, baseball, soccer game, So the play
Speaker 1: at the end of our live show was just like
Speaker 1: it only made sense. And the first time we played
Speaker 1: it we were in Philly.
Speaker 2: We did about that, which makes sense because all that.
Speaker 2: But we also had a couple of other good ones,
Speaker 2: like think about those songs that when you hear it,
Speaker 2: when black people are together in one space, we can't
Speaker 2: help but go into chorus.
Speaker 3: I think one is what's that Keisha Coole song?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm thinking about? Oh? Yes, yep?
Speaker 3: And that song goes another good one, Can we Talk?
Speaker 1: It's like cany I can see all right now? I
Speaker 1: think that song every black person get up, start doing
Speaker 1: the lectric.
Speaker 3: That's a fact. You can't glaze over. Can't we talk?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 3: That's another one that I was to.
Speaker 1: Glaze over and you can pause that because I'm not
Speaker 1: glazing anything but everybody, especially since the challenge came out, which.
Speaker 3: Challenge can we Talk?
Speaker 1: Challenge? Yeah, exactly, You're gonna try and sing because I
Speaker 1: know I'm not.
Speaker 3: The super star Challenge.
Speaker 1: You said, we're not gonna close over can we talk?
Speaker 1: You're not gonna do the can we talk? Don't glaze
Speaker 1: over it?
Speaker 3: What say it? Wait? What the whole song? Not just
Speaker 3: the challenge for what's the challenge part?
Speaker 2: Again? I forget because my mind is is on Superstar
Speaker 2: now by us?
Speaker 1: Sure it the same person that told me all right,
Speaker 1: so we just glazed up. She literally said we're not
Speaker 1: gonna glaze over can we talk? And then I said,
Speaker 1: well go singing? She said, we will we at the
Speaker 1: Superstar Challenge. Now, how you gonna do that?
Speaker 2: Welcome to our karaoke confilation, y'all, as we prepare for
Speaker 2: the Dead Ass Live Show. Yes, let's get it together
Speaker 2: and we're gonna pay some bills to come back, and
Speaker 2: we're gonna talk about preparing for the tour, what it's
Speaker 2: looking like for us, why this might be our last
Speaker 2: tour for now, and hopefully we can get some clarity
Speaker 2: for y'all about what's gonna be happening when we're out
Speaker 2: there in February. So stick around, we'll be back, all right.
Speaker 2: I forgot that that was really how we came up
Speaker 2: with the Dead Ass Live Show. Yes, that it was
Speaker 2: really when we had to sit down on stage with
Speaker 2: Cody and Tommy and Sterling and Ryan, but also too,
Speaker 2: I remember us going to the live show for the
Speaker 2: read Yes with Crystalline and Kid and.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we love the read.
Speaker 1: The first podcast that started to talk about you and
Speaker 1: I and we started to get some momentum from the read.
Speaker 1: So we always have to give a shout out to
Speaker 1: the read. Kid, this is my guy, Brom He's he's freaking.
Speaker 2: And Crystal shout out to the read. They're the ones
Speaker 2: who really are for us, are like the fairy god parents.
Speaker 1: Of pod podcasting, because that's what we looked at.
Speaker 2: We did, we did, and they're still doing their things,
Speaker 2: so go into their live show as well too. We
Speaker 2: were like, wow, this is like pretty much like the podcast,
Speaker 2: but we get to see them in person. So it
Speaker 2: was like the perfect marriage for Deval and I when
Speaker 2: we were trying to curate what the Dead Ass live
Speaker 2: experience was going to look like. It's having the entertainment
Speaker 2: portion of it, where devalas of course doing his elaborate
Speaker 2: story times that I'm there to either confirm or deny
Speaker 2: whether the story is true or not, and then getting
Speaker 2: audience participation because of course that's the one thing that
Speaker 2: we're missing when we have podcasts that we record like this, right,
Speaker 2: he and I are just answering things, But then there's
Speaker 2: the listener letter portion where we get to have the
Speaker 2: audience interacting with us and asking questions live and in
Speaker 2: the moment. And Yeah, this time around, I think Deval
Speaker 2: and I were really looking for a way to kind
Speaker 2: of we've been saying go out with a bang. So
Speaker 2: what does that mean for you, babe, telling these folks
Speaker 2: that we're going out with a bang?
Speaker 1: Well, the first thing is is going out not because
Speaker 1: we necessarily just don't want to do it anymore. We
Speaker 1: clearly still want to do it. The problem is finding
Speaker 1: time to prepare around my filming schedule and our parenting
Speaker 1: schedule and actually putting on the show that we feel
Speaker 1: is good enough to be dead ass podcast. That's your
Speaker 1: biggest issue? Sure, last year we did a show in August,
Speaker 1: and then we did another show again in February, so
Speaker 1: it was literally about five to six months in between
Speaker 1: and and planning that show. It was a lot. It
Speaker 1: was very taxing.
Speaker 3: On us the year before.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, no, twenty twenty twenty three, we did it
Speaker 1: in just February, but then twenty twenty two we did
Speaker 1: it in August, so we actually did two shows in
Speaker 1: two rounds of shows in one year. And the way
Speaker 1: we picked the shows for people who keep asking us,
Speaker 1: how come y'all to come here? How can you come there? Right,
Speaker 1: we are picking the shows in the locations based on weather.
Speaker 1: Because last year we did Detroit and Chicago in February
Speaker 1: and we almost didn't have a Detroit show because there
Speaker 1: was a weather emergency and there was a blizzard and
Speaker 1: a lot of people were telling us, you might want
Speaker 1: to cancel the show, but we were like, we can't
Speaker 1: cancel the show because if we do, we won't know
Speaker 1: when we'll be able to come back. And we've had
Speaker 1: over a thousand people buy tickets.
Speaker 3: Shout out to Detroit.
Speaker 2: Y'all are resilient af facts, And for them, I think
Speaker 2: the people in Detroit, they were just like, well, it's
Speaker 2: just another snow day out here, yep, you know, So
Speaker 2: everybody still came out like the house was sacked. And
Speaker 2: we love y'all for that, Detroit. So of course we
Speaker 2: do want to run it back, but we may run
Speaker 2: it back if we do in the future.
Speaker 1: In the summer months, Detroit and Chicago in the summertime,
Speaker 1: that'll be great. We also did LA in February last
Speaker 1: year and it rained the two days that we were
Speaker 1: in LA. So now we're trying to figure out what's
Speaker 1: the best time to do a tour. But we also
Speaker 1: realized the only time for us to do a tour
Speaker 1: is in February during pilot season because once March and
Speaker 1: April comes around, I'm typically filming. Yeah, so we can't
Speaker 1: even do it in the spring. The summertime we've dedicated
Speaker 1: to our family, we dedicated to the boys, and then
Speaker 1: in the fall, I'm typically filming sisters or as a
Speaker 1: team on. So right now, the only time we have
Speaker 1: is February, and we don't want to just continue to
Speaker 1: give you guys the bare minimum. We tried to up
Speaker 1: the ante every time, but that requires a lot more planning.
Speaker 3: So listen, y'all. The one thing we ain't trying to
Speaker 3: do is playing y'all face.
Speaker 2: Okay, So we're not going to tell y'all to come
Speaker 2: out to a show, make it a thing, make it
Speaker 2: a weekend or whatever, and then deliver.
Speaker 3: A mediocre show.
Speaker 2: Not doing that, we're always trying to find ways to
Speaker 2: elevate the experience.
Speaker 1: Facts.
Speaker 2: How do we feel about our first live show versus
Speaker 2: the last one? I mean, man, so much evolution I
Speaker 2: think has taken place from the first show to the
Speaker 2: last one we did. The last show was Chicago. The
Speaker 2: very first show was that in Philadelphia. Philadelphia was Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: No, the very first show was in Philadelphia. We finished
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn.
Speaker 3: Yes, you're right.
Speaker 1: The very first show was your Philadelphia. I can't remember
Speaker 1: the name of the theater. It was about a four
Speaker 1: hundred seat venue. Yeah, the crowd was amazing. That's why
Speaker 1: we always go back to Philly whenever we do in
Speaker 1: northeast toilways go back to Philly.
Speaker 3: For sure.
Speaker 1: I felt good because of course it was a smaller venue,
Speaker 1: so we were actually trying some things out. But I
Speaker 1: learned then that you and I worked really well in
Speaker 1: a live situation like it was. It was so much
Speaker 1: fun because we got to bounce off of each other
Speaker 1: and the audience.
Speaker 2: And I was going to say, the audience energy and
Speaker 2: everything for us that Philly shall remember exactly the Philly
Speaker 2: she I remember being super nervous. We had like a
Speaker 2: small meet and greet before and it's something about just
Speaker 2: meeting y'all in person that I know when people approach
Speaker 2: us sometimes they're like, oh my god, I can't believe,
Speaker 2: like I'm so meeting you. But I get nervous meeting
Speaker 2: y'all sometimes because I never want for anyone to meet
Speaker 2: me and they feel like, damn, like Kadeen didn't live
Speaker 2: up to whatever I expected her to be. You know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, Like, that's always something that I take
Speaker 2: into consideration. And of course, you know, you may find
Speaker 2: me in a moment where I might be in the
Speaker 2: middle of like my mind, or I'm traveling with the kids,
Speaker 2: or like we just went through TSA the other day
Speaker 2: and they took my child butter from me and I
Speaker 2: was so mad about it and shout out to homeboy
Speaker 2: at TSA. Sorry, bro, wasn't you. It's just like I've
Speaker 2: traveled with that so many times before, and the one
Speaker 2: time I travel this time, you want to take it
Speaker 2: for me?
Speaker 1: She was gude. I'm like, he didn't make the rule.
Speaker 1: All he's doing is enforcing the rules of the day.
Speaker 2: Just want the rules to be consistent, y'all. Come on,
Speaker 2: heart to feel Atlanta be consistent. I want the same
Speaker 2: travel experience every time. But AnyWho, I just say that
Speaker 2: to say, whenever I meet y'all, I love to have
Speaker 2: that energy in person.
Speaker 3: We feed off of you.
Speaker 2: That's why I think also too, for us some show venues,
Speaker 2: we think one show is maybe better than the other
Speaker 2: because the audience participation, the vibe that you give to
Speaker 2: us helps us to deliver a show to you. So
Speaker 2: that reciprocity I love to have in a live show
Speaker 2: experience what inspired us to put together on this next show.
Speaker 1: So I'm glad you asked that. Last year, Kadeen and I, well,
Speaker 1: Kadeen specifically went on a world tour with Beyonce. I
Speaker 1: actually had an opportunity to go see Beyonce twice. I
Speaker 1: saw LLL Cooj, which to me is one of the
Speaker 1: goats rappers that he's one of the greatest performers I
Speaker 1: had ever seen. We saw Drake, and we saw Usher
Speaker 1: to close out the year. Watching those live performances definitely
Speaker 1: sparked something in me to want to give y'all greater.
Speaker 1: So when people keep asking what can we expect and
Speaker 1: like why is this the last show? I know how
Speaker 1: much work it took for those artists to create the
Speaker 1: show that they curated for people. I don't want to
Speaker 1: give people any shortcuts. So we have some things in
Speaker 1: this show. I'm not going to say, but when you
Speaker 1: watch it, you're gonna say they've invested time and resources
Speaker 1: to be able to prepare that for us because I
Speaker 1: want you guys to have the wild shock factor. We're
Speaker 1: not going to get into the details of what we've
Speaker 1: added to the show. That we've added some different elements
Speaker 1: that's gonna make you say, Wow, this is no longer
Speaker 1: just a podcast experience. You're coming to see a show
Speaker 1: working over here.
Speaker 2: Yes, all right, we are over here working physically, mentally, man, man,
Speaker 2: you see it, spiritually, you see.
Speaker 1: Niggas don't care no more, but listen, we gotta do
Speaker 1: the podcast. Yes, but I'm tired. I've been working out
Speaker 1: every single day, we have rehearsals, we have so many
Speaker 1: other things to do, and I'm like, I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: this clothes on, I'm gonna change the shirt for them.
Speaker 1: But we are working so hard, Kadeen and I and
Speaker 1: our whole staff, the Cruel team, the whole team. Every
Speaker 1: day we on phone calls like what do you guys
Speaker 1: think about this, Let's add this, let's increase this. It's
Speaker 1: just it's been a fun experience.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it really has been fun to prepare.
Speaker 2: I think it brings us and us that much closer together.
Speaker 2: It brings the crew that much closer together, and everybody
Speaker 2: is so invested in what will be the dead ass
Speaker 2: live show at least for the foreseeable future, because like
Speaker 2: I said, it really is like I joke about, like
Speaker 2: not coming back and not wanting to do this anymore,
Speaker 2: but it really is one of my most favorite things
Speaker 2: to do, and it is having the live experience. And
Speaker 2: I think that's just from my background of always like
Speaker 2: being on.
Speaker 4: Stage, seek you be fronting, Like these live shows are
Speaker 4: so much but I have to do her intro, and
Speaker 4: when I do an intro, when I look back and
Speaker 4: I see that pos in that silhouette, and then you
Speaker 4: start walking and nothing else matters.
Speaker 1: You're not worried about anything else. I get you are
Speaker 1: the star. You come out and you get in your element,
Speaker 1: and it's amazing to watch. It really is amazing to
Speaker 1: watch you getting your element on that stage and do
Speaker 1: what you.
Speaker 3: Do because it's it's important for me too.
Speaker 2: As much as it fills me up, it's important for
Speaker 2: me to deliver that to you guys when you come
Speaker 2: to the show, Like, I don't take it lightly that
Speaker 2: you guys have spent your hard earned money that you
Speaker 2: are investing to, that you're listening to, listening to us,
Speaker 2: you're supporting us, you're sharing us with people who you
Speaker 2: know and love.
Speaker 3: I don't take that lightly.
Speaker 2: So one of the questions on here is what's most
Speaker 2: important to you with putting on these live shows is
Speaker 2: really just making sure that every single person in the
Speaker 2: audience feels like, man I really enjoyed this ninety minutes
Speaker 2: or whatever with the Ellises and those of you who
Speaker 2: have the meet and greet. You know, I hope that
Speaker 2: when we do meet you, even though you know, we
Speaker 2: may be exhausted.
Speaker 3: From a show right right right, it's a long line
Speaker 3: of people to meet and greet.
Speaker 2: We want each experience for you guys to feel like
Speaker 2: man I was the only person in this room with
Speaker 2: Devalan Kadeen. So just know that, from the bottom of
Speaker 2: our hearts, that's really what we're invested in. Yes, we
Speaker 2: know none of this will be possible without you, guys.
Speaker 2: You say that one more time, Yes, none of this
Speaker 2: would be none of this would be possible without you guys,
Speaker 2: our Patreon crew. Yes, everyone on social media who share
Speaker 2: and subscribe and pass along notes about coming to see
Speaker 2: the elisis.
Speaker 1: None of this is responded. None of this could have
Speaker 1: been done without you. So we appreciate you.
Speaker 2: Cause I will say, particularly the patrig shout out to y'all.
Speaker 2: You have to really be invested in a level of
Speaker 2: support to us if you are spending money every month
Speaker 2: to join us in those experiences. So we don't take
Speaker 2: lightly what we produce for you on Patreon. You don't
Speaker 2: have to be there to do that, and we've given
Speaker 2: i want to say, almost seven years of just content
Speaker 2: that hasn't been like highly produced or cost anything.
Speaker 1: That's why this next question, what do you hope to
Speaker 1: gain from the live shows? That's what you're saying leads
Speaker 1: me into that I hope to curate an experience in
Speaker 1: person because the digital age has made it so that
Speaker 1: people think they really know you because they watch you
Speaker 1: on the phone or watch you on TV. But no,
Speaker 1: they don't really know us. So when we do the
Speaker 1: live shows, I want them to really get a chance
Speaker 1: to know us, get a chance to say I was
Speaker 1: in the same room as those people. I was there
Speaker 1: when they were building. Because even like one thing I
Speaker 1: will say, there is no mistake when you look at
Speaker 1: entertainment and why comedians continue to be the greatest source
Speaker 1: of influence. When they're looking to add someone to a project,
Speaker 1: they'll go to find a comedian, They'll go to find
Speaker 1: a singer or a rapper. They always go to people
Speaker 1: who do what provide live shows? No, not laugh live shows.
Speaker 3: Well, live shows that live shows, Yeah, come and.
Speaker 1: Laugh because live shows bring people together. Someone who can
Speaker 1: command an audience live is a better person that will
Speaker 1: command them on television or in the movies. So for me,
Speaker 1: I want to continue that aspect of entertaining live, not
Speaker 1: just digital. I wanted to. I want people to be
Speaker 1: like I went to an event and I ate, and
Speaker 1: I drank, and I laugh and I cried and I
Speaker 1: hugged my girl and my wife or I hugged my husband,
Speaker 1: and I met them afterwards and they were the same
Speaker 1: people that I saw on the internet. Like I saw
Speaker 1: them and I actually shook hands and they gave me
Speaker 1: words of encouragement, and like that's what I want for people,
Speaker 1: oh for sure.
Speaker 2: And I even think of people who have left the shows,
Speaker 2: like when it talks about what the audience gains. I've
Speaker 2: had people who then rode in after the fact or
Speaker 2: even just hearing from our team, Like people got to
Speaker 2: see the full experience, not just the Valenkadean, but they
Speaker 2: got to meet Josh and Matt and Triple and Denoor
Speaker 2: and like all of the people who help to really
Speaker 2: just be invested in what that sperience looks like for y'all.
Speaker 2: So it's like a family feel. We get to be
Speaker 2: on stage with you guys. It's not all curated and
Speaker 2: highly edited and all that. You really are just getting
Speaker 2: us in the moment. Yes, And I love I love
Speaker 2: what that feels like for us. And I'm hoping that
Speaker 2: everyone who's been to the show already will be back,
Speaker 2: because we have a lot of people who've been back
Speaker 2: and been to every show so far in whatever respective city.
Speaker 2: But that just lets me know that we have a
Speaker 2: good thing going when they're repeat people coming back.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And also this is not the last show that
Speaker 1: when we hate doing it, we're never doing it again.
Speaker 1: We're trying to find a way to curate an experience
Speaker 1: that you guys deserve, but also curate our lives to
Speaker 1: where our kids get the best version of us in
Speaker 1: our careers. So we're trying to find a way, but
Speaker 1: as of right now, this is going to be We're
Speaker 1: gonna put everything into this show.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And I mean also too like to piggyback
Speaker 2: off of that devel where we have the live shows
Speaker 2: now in the time of year, February always kind of
Speaker 2: falls right into March and April when you are potentially
Speaker 2: filming something. And let's be real about why we even
Speaker 2: started this journey. It was to help to spark your
Speaker 2: acting career, just sharing in general and just showing what
Speaker 2: you were capable of. And I just honestly feel deep
Speaker 2: down in my soul that this year is going to
Speaker 2: be a breakout year for you. And bring on the projects,
Speaker 2: bring on the leading male roles, bring on all the films,
Speaker 2: like this is what you've been working so hard for.
Speaker 2: So in me being a bit selfish in this moment
Speaker 2: wanting to see you win, I feel like this is
Speaker 2: like the time, this is when it's going to spark
Speaker 2: for you, like in your forties. There's something about now
Speaker 2: that just makes me feel like we're gonna have to
Speaker 2: take a back seat. And I mean we meaning me
Speaker 2: and y'all, you know, take a back seat to Devo
Speaker 2: really living.
Speaker 1: You will never in your life take a back seat
Speaker 1: to anything that I got going on.
Speaker 4: You know that.
Speaker 1: There's never going to be a point where we be like, baby, you,
Speaker 1: I don't understand I'm filming this.
Speaker 2: No, I I elect to make that decision for us
Speaker 2: and for you to be able to do this. Y'all
Speaker 2: have no idea how much Devo I will lose sleep
Speaker 2: over what he's trying to curate for this show with
Speaker 2: alongside me and our team. So I feel like it
Speaker 2: is just owed to you in this space, in this moment,
Speaker 2: that you be able to live out those dreams fully
Speaker 2: and this moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just create some space for me to grow in
Speaker 1: other ways might not always be working on something else
Speaker 1: and saying well, I can't do it. Because we have
Speaker 1: this plan, I feel focused.
Speaker 2: Do you have any favorite moments for many of our
Speaker 2: live shows, whether it was twenty twenty, twenty twenty two,
Speaker 2: twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: Three, one of my favorite moments the first moment I
Speaker 1: will have to say Chicago, what's up? Chicago? Oh my God?
Speaker 2: To me?
Speaker 1: To me, Chicago was like the best shop, like to
Speaker 1: jump over the couch after Chicago's and the lights people cheering.
Speaker 1: There was a group in the corner that was in
Speaker 1: in the balcony that you could tell that they are
Speaker 1: fans of our work because they were reciting stuff from
Speaker 1: Sisters Zatima from the podcast, reciting videos from twenty and seventeen,
Speaker 1: like saying things that I'm just like wow, Like that
Speaker 1: has become a bit of a cultural phenomenon. Like, for example,
Speaker 1: some one of the young men screamed out, when Kate
Speaker 1: come out here, she better be ready to drop it,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, man, everyone knows that kind of like
Speaker 1: how when we look at Martin and you know, we
Speaker 1: look at the fresh prince of Jamie Fox and they
Speaker 1: have certain things like when Jamie Fox goes, people know
Speaker 1: that's him. So it's like now when people him out,
Speaker 1: can I get a drop? They know, like that's the
Speaker 1: valent coadeen do that right? You know. Even when the
Speaker 1: whole drop challenge was happening, I was getting tagged so
Speaker 1: often because they like, look what y'all started, Look what
Speaker 1: y'all started, now, you know, And I just felt good
Speaker 1: with Chicago was like that moment everyone knew everything and
Speaker 1: it was just like man, like they rock with us,
Speaker 1: So Chicago will be my favorite favor.
Speaker 2: One favorite moment for me that was hilarious was in
Speaker 2: New York when I forgot that your parents were in
Speaker 2: the crowd or they were going to be at that
Speaker 2: show because we had already car agreed. We collectively agreed
Speaker 2: that like, our parents just can't come to our live shows,
Speaker 2: like we would love for them to see us in action,
Speaker 2: but like it's not appropriate for our parents to come
Speaker 2: because you know, we joke about all sorts of flude things,
Speaker 2: and seeing as though in my mom's eyes, I am
Speaker 2: still virgin Mary who's had these children not bisex, right,
Speaker 2: I was just like, there's no way, so forgetting that,
Speaker 2: you're not even remembering that your parents were even thinking
Speaker 2: about coming to the show.
Speaker 3: I didn't even know if they really had gotten tickets
Speaker 3: or not know your.
Speaker 1: Brother was coming.
Speaker 2: And then we had the whole joke about me getting
Speaker 2: the dental work done and me saying like, damn, now
Speaker 2: that my face is swollen, I can't even say suck
Speaker 2: no dick.
Speaker 1: You said that in front of my mother, and I.
Speaker 2: Was like, oh my god, your parents are in the crowd.
Speaker 2: Like I literally wanted to just you know, when you
Speaker 2: had the hole in the stage like drops like That's
Speaker 2: how I felt.
Speaker 1: That was as moment.
Speaker 3: That was a classic moment for me.
Speaker 2: But it was funny because in retrospect, looking back on it,
Speaker 2: it was just a funny moment.
Speaker 1: It was another funny moment. Brooklyn. Oh, we were in Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: downtown Brooklyn. This was the first live show we did
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn. He had on the gold dress, the gold dress,
Speaker 1: and he looked like an Oscar. And I picked you
Speaker 1: up like I was accepting the Oscar and you were
Speaker 1: sitting there like this.
Speaker 3: I was like that I put the micropront of it
Speaker 3: and you were like, I like to take.
Speaker 1: My mom That was great. Was that was That was
Speaker 1: great improv. That was stuff that we don't That's why
Speaker 1: we love live shows, man, man.
Speaker 2: Live shows are bomb, all right, y'all. So yeah, we're excited.
Speaker 2: We're working. We're about one month out from our first stop,
Speaker 2: which is in Dallas. So February thirteenth, we will be
Speaker 2: in Dallas. Shout out to Texas, y'all. Weather been looking
Speaker 2: a little crazy lately too. It's been looking very cold
Speaker 2: out there.
Speaker 1: Oh man.
Speaker 2: So we'll see, we'll see what it looks like when
Speaker 2: we get down there on the thirteenth of February and
Speaker 2: then we have Valentine's Day off in between. The fifteenth.
Speaker 2: I am looking so forward to this show. I grew
Speaker 2: up watching the Apollo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a big deal.
Speaker 2: The fact that we are going to be performing live
Speaker 2: in the Apollo is something that I've never even dreamed of,
Speaker 2: never thought as a foreseeable thing for us. But it's
Speaker 2: going to be iconic to be in that space. So man,
Speaker 2: New York, please show out for us. We're coming back
Speaker 2: to our hometown, our home state, rather and we can't
Speaker 2: wait to be there at the Apollo on the fifteenth.
Speaker 2: Then next day we'll be out in Philly on the sixteenth.
Speaker 2: Philly is also nar and Dere again. First show was
Speaker 2: ever Philly. We get so much love down in the
Speaker 2: DC Maryland area. Baltimore drive up. That's going to be
Speaker 2: on the seventeenth.
Speaker 1: The eighteenth is the eighteenth.
Speaker 2: We're back home home, and then we're prepping to get
Speaker 2: to North Carolina.
Speaker 3: Charlotte and I got twenty.
Speaker 1: Second Carolina is my family is from Orangeburg, South Caro.
Speaker 1: Y'all better show up and show out, man, Come on now,
Speaker 1: because I fought. I fought to get this show in
Speaker 1: the Calinas.
Speaker 3: Fought for Charlotte for sure.
Speaker 1: Because I'm like, yo, we have to do something close
Speaker 1: by the family. You know. Everyone was telling us, Oh,
Speaker 1: y'all doing Atlanta, they can draw. I said, no, we
Speaker 1: have to do something for the Carolina. So Carolina, y'all
Speaker 1: better show up and show out.
Speaker 2: For you, even our Virginia folks, anybody up up on
Speaker 2: that side of the of the Carolinas, come on down
Speaker 2: and see us on the.
Speaker 3: Twenty second in Charlotte, and then we are rounding out.
Speaker 2: This tour with Atlanta, Atlanta our new hometown on the
Speaker 2: twenty fourth of February. So we're excited to see y'all.
Speaker 2: We're gonna take a quick break, and of course no
Speaker 2: episode will be complete without listener letters. So we're gonna
Speaker 2: show y'all some love and get into that after we
Speaker 2: get into some ads.
Speaker 3: So stick around. We'll be back all right, We're back
Speaker 3: back with listening letters. I will dive right in.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm about to the bed.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about coming to a show. I'm looking ahead.
Speaker 2: Let's see Hi. Deval and Kadeen love you and your
Speaker 2: boys so much. Thank you for being a light in
Speaker 2: this world and allowing us into your home and lives.
Speaker 3: You're so welcome.
Speaker 2: I'm going to my first live show in Dallas this
Speaker 2: February twenty twenty four. Got my VP ticket front row seat. Baby,
Speaker 2: you are lit. Can't wait to see you all and
Speaker 2: have a good time. It's going to be a good
Speaker 2: time for sure. I'm writing to you all because my
Speaker 2: boyfriend would like me to be more spontaneous, spicy in
Speaker 2: the bedroom and less shy and awkward.
Speaker 3: I believe too much.
Speaker 2: I believe I'm too much in my head when we
Speaker 2: make love and trying to perform rather than just enjoy
Speaker 2: when we enter the relationship. I was a virgin and
Speaker 2: he was not, so we're still learning what we enjoy
Speaker 2: in the bedroom. We like adventure and are always open
Speaker 2: to learning new positions and finding new places to be intimate.
Speaker 3: It excites us a lot.
Speaker 2: Can you give advice on how I can be better
Speaker 2: to feel confident sex see with my man and ensure
Speaker 2: that we don't get bored in the bedroom. And how
Speaker 2: long does it take to find a good groove or
Speaker 2: be in sync with your partner in the bedroom?
Speaker 3: All right, I'll let.
Speaker 1: You answer this one. If I want to a woman,
Speaker 1: I'll let you answer this one.
Speaker 3: Girl. I know because I've been there.
Speaker 2: I still be there sometimes about what in my mind
Speaker 2: I think is sexy versus what he's going to receive
Speaker 2: as being sexy. And this is twenty two years in
Speaker 2: the making. Tovow has literally been begging me for certain things,
Speaker 2: and I just can't get out of my own head
Speaker 2: about how I can just do it and feel confident
Speaker 2: doing it and not feel stupid doing it, thinking that, man,
Speaker 2: this is something that he's really going to enjoy, but
Speaker 2: I also feel confident in delivering. So for me, when
Speaker 2: it comes to that, I just have to I mean,
Speaker 2: first of all, I will say Devout does make me
Speaker 2: feel super comfortable, regardless of what phase I am in
Speaker 2: physically or mentally, time of day, time a year, whatever
Speaker 2: it is. He makes me feel comfortable and attractive and
Speaker 2: wanted because.
Speaker 1: You naturally are. Though, like I will, I will say this,
Speaker 1: I don't be lying after you've had a baby, Before
Speaker 1: you had a baby, while you're pregnant, I'm still attracted
Speaker 1: to you. So I think it's important that I tell
Speaker 1: you that so that you don't feel like it's tough yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's not. I'm still attracted to you, you know.
Speaker 1: So I think it's important for men to know that
Speaker 1: when your wife is going through all your significant others
Speaker 1: going through these changes, when you feel attracted to her,
Speaker 1: let her know. Right, you don't let her know.
Speaker 2: But sometimes even THO that's not enough. Right, As women,
Speaker 2: we still tend to internalize things and we're just like
Speaker 2: picking at that like roll of fat or picking at
Speaker 2: the moments that we don't feel sexy. So my problem
Speaker 2: that I had to overcome and I'm still overcoming, is
Speaker 2: what in my mind constitutes being sexy versus just at
Speaker 2: giving him what he asks for. So I would say,
Speaker 2: talk to your talk to your man, and just say, hey,
Speaker 2: what can I do to spice things up? Like you're
Speaker 2: a little bit more experienced than I am. I'm still
Speaker 2: trying to find my groove because you're my first partner,
Speaker 2: so I'm starting to try. She's also trying to figure
Speaker 2: out what she still likes. Absolutely, So I think having
Speaker 2: the open conversations and saying, hey, baby, what can I
Speaker 2: do to spice things up?
Speaker 3: Do you want me to dressed some kind of way?
Speaker 3: Do you want some role play?
Speaker 2: Should we try spontaneous places, and you just have to
Speaker 2: be willing and open to receive that and giving him
Speaker 2: what he wants.
Speaker 3: And I think that was my problem for a long.
Speaker 2: Time, is I'm trying to curate an experience that I
Speaker 2: think is sexy for him. When he's just like, I
Speaker 2: don't need all that, I need this, give me this.
Speaker 2: And when he's clear and he's confident about what he wants,
Speaker 2: you can be confident in delivering that. How do you feel, babe,
Speaker 2: in terms of like getting that groove or you know,
Speaker 2: being in sync in the bedroom.
Speaker 1: I would just say this, when he tells you what
Speaker 1: he likes and what he wants, don't try to give
Speaker 1: him your version of what it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's where I go wrong.
Speaker 1: And that's as all the time. I'll say I want
Speaker 1: one thing, she'll do something else. And then when I say,
Speaker 1: but I ask for this, she'll say, but I gave
Speaker 1: you this, as if I should just accept it. It's
Speaker 1: not fair to your partner if they're telling you exactly
Speaker 1: what they like, but you keep telling your partner, I
Speaker 1: hear you, but I'm gonna give you this because I
Speaker 1: know what you need. No, I'm telling you what I need.
Speaker 1: Why are you ignoring what I'm telling you to give
Speaker 1: me what's more convenient for you? And I think that's
Speaker 1: for both sides. I don't think that's a man or
Speaker 1: a woman thing. I think that if you have decided
Speaker 1: that you want exclusivity from that partner, when that partner
Speaker 1: tells you that this is what they require or want,
Speaker 1: you then have to make a choice if you want
Speaker 1: to provide that. If you don't want to provide that
Speaker 1: to that person, it's kind of unfair for you to
Speaker 1: ask for exclusivity. So since you asking for exclusivity, if
Speaker 1: this is what your partner wants and requires, do your
Speaker 1: best to give it to them as long as it's
Speaker 1: within your alignment for what your morals are. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: if somebody asking for too much and you're like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to do that, all that, and then you
Speaker 1: can say, hey, I'm not trying to do that, maybe
Speaker 1: we're not aligned on this part of our life and
Speaker 1: maybe this is not meant for us.
Speaker 2: Do you think it takes a while for people to
Speaker 2: get into a sexual groove? And the reason I ask
Speaker 2: that is because, like I know someone who confided in
Speaker 2: me about feeling like when she initially started her journey
Speaker 2: sexually with someone that they weren't on the same page,
Speaker 2: Like I guess maybe they didn't have the right I
Speaker 2: don't know if it was the right cadence or you know,
Speaker 2: maybe her.
Speaker 3: Way was not like his.
Speaker 2: Does it take time for people to develop a groove
Speaker 2: with sex or should you have that initially when you
Speaker 2: have that attraction, Like.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think anything is just this works. What
Speaker 1: I think happens is, especially for women, being sexual is
Speaker 1: so taboo and women are shamed a lot for being sexual.
Speaker 1: So you spend most of your life trying to dim
Speaker 1: down your sexuality because in the workplace you can't be sexual.
Speaker 1: If you're a mom and you're out at school, you can't,
Speaker 1: like there's no place for you to openly practice your sexuality.
Speaker 1: Then you get with someone and it's like this person
Speaker 1: just wants you to be this flamboyantly sexual being and
Speaker 1: it's like, I've never practiced this, So it takes time.
Speaker 1: But also for men too write men's idea of sexuality,
Speaker 1: it becomes extremely perverse because from the time we're young,
Speaker 1: people are telling us you're a man, you have to
Speaker 1: be able to do this. You listen to some older
Speaker 1: gentlemen who tell you right. So it's like women are
Speaker 1: conditioned to not be sexual because it's not ladylike, But
Speaker 1: then men are conditioned to be overly sexual. And now
Speaker 1: you have two people trying to be together, and you
Speaker 1: have one being who's overly sexual and another being who's
Speaker 1: not sexual. Right, it takes listening to each other. That's
Speaker 1: why I'm saying I wouldn't even say time because if
Speaker 1: that person's a good listener and this person's a good listener,
Speaker 1: when they get to get right to it. But when
Speaker 1: you have two people who are stubborn, who will say, well,
Speaker 1: I want to be sexual this way. I'm not interested
Speaker 1: in the way you want to be sexual. This is
Speaker 1: what I want, now you have a problem.
Speaker 2: But also to it takes compromise, right, because there's certain
Speaker 2: things that I kind of introduced, you know, in our
Speaker 2: sexual world that you were like, all right, i'll give
Speaker 2: it a try. Absolutely, you know, I'll give it a try.
Speaker 2: It's not something that I would have necessarily subscribed to
Speaker 2: in the beginning, but hey, if it's something you want
Speaker 2: to try, let's do it.
Speaker 3: And it does it or not.
Speaker 1: It does take compromise and grace, but it also just
Speaker 1: takes a willingness to want to be that for someone
Speaker 1: like I just knew personally for me, I wanted monogamy right,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to find someone else who wanted monogamy.
Speaker 1: So I also knew as a man that if the
Speaker 1: person I'm choosing to ask them to be monogamous with me,
Speaker 1: if they're saying they want to do something, I have
Speaker 1: to be open to that, you know what I'm saying, like,
Speaker 1: I have to be what do you want to try
Speaker 1: a bad what do you want to do? I can't say, well,
Speaker 1: I only want monogamy the way I want it. That's
Speaker 1: unfair for me, you know. And then I feel like
Speaker 1: it's also unfair for a partner to ask that of me. So,
Speaker 1: what you want monogamy and you want me to only
Speaker 1: be with you, but I only can be with you
Speaker 1: the way you want it? Why would anyone subscribe to that?
Speaker 1: So it's not so much just compromise, it's a willingness
Speaker 1: to be of service. Yeah, because compromise can also be
Speaker 1: seen as okay, I won't do this. No being of
Speaker 1: service means I will do that because that's what you require,
Speaker 1: and I want to be of service, So I don't
Speaker 1: feel like I'm doing anything that I don't want to do.
Speaker 1: I want to be of service or if this is
Speaker 1: what you require, I want to do it right.
Speaker 2: And the two shall meet at some point because for me, yes,
Speaker 2: much like her, Sometimes you just get in your own
Speaker 2: head about the way you need to deliver things, and
Speaker 2: that can be intimidating.
Speaker 3: So I get it.
Speaker 2: Have a conversation with him, says, see what he likes,
Speaker 2: you know, see if he's willing to try certain things.
Speaker 2: There may be certain fantasies that you in your mind,
Speaker 2: even though you haven't been as experienced, you might say, hey,
Speaker 2: I like this, this felts a little good this time around.
Speaker 3: Let's running back.
Speaker 1: You know, I would say, don't listen to anybody else
Speaker 1: about what you should try. No, ask him what he
Speaker 1: requires and what he needs. Provide that while also figuring out,
Speaker 1: because she was a virgin, what you need require and
Speaker 1: tell him anybody else telling y'all try this. You don't
Speaker 1: know if y'all gonna like that. But now you introduce
Speaker 1: something to your bedroom that you don't even know if
Speaker 1: you like or he likes. It was a waste of time.
Speaker 1: Ask him what he wants. But then also be like, babe,
Speaker 1: I'll do this. I want to try this. Can we
Speaker 1: do that? Y'all will have fun. She said that they're
Speaker 1: having fun, so I think they'll have fun engaging and
Speaker 1: talking consistently to each other. Leave everybody else out of
Speaker 1: this conversation. Don't ask your mom, your sister, your male,
Speaker 1: best friend, your brother, don't ask them what they do.
Speaker 1: Learn your body, know what you like, and ask your
Speaker 1: partner what they like.
Speaker 3: Period number two.
Speaker 1: Hello Kinne Devout. Recently, a friend of mine was promoted
Speaker 1: to this high level position, and she reached out to
Speaker 1: me about an opportunity to come work with her. I've
Speaker 1: been in management a few years now, but at the
Speaker 1: time I wasn't really happy at my previous job, so
Speaker 1: I felt this opportunity came at the right time. It
Speaker 1: was more money, a smaller team to supervise, and I
Speaker 1: was allowed to work from home two days a week.
Speaker 1: That sounds like a plus plus. I felt this new
Speaker 1: position aligned with my professional goals, so I accept it
Speaker 1: without hesitation. I have known her for over fifteen years,
Speaker 1: and I was excited about working with her and supporting
Speaker 1: her in her new role. When I first started, everything
Speaker 1: was going well. However, that didn't last long. I started
Speaker 1: seeing sides of her that I had never seen before.
Speaker 1: She became so hot and cold and at times wouldn't
Speaker 1: even speak when she came into the office. Now, don't
Speaker 1: get me wrong, I understand she's in a high level
Speaker 1: position and her job can be stressful, but she is
Speaker 1: becoming downright mean and bully like. I am not the
Speaker 1: only one who feels this way, because other managers would
Speaker 1: come to me about her behavior towards them. After word,
Speaker 1: she acts as if nothing happened, and I'm left feeling perplexed.
Speaker 1: I just listened to the episode when you all discuss
Speaker 1: why you start a Patreon. You all talked about hiring
Speaker 1: people you trust and how you don't work with them.
Speaker 1: You don't work with just any brand. My question to
Speaker 1: you is how do you know when to choose the
Speaker 1: right job role for you? Also, how do you manage
Speaker 1: hiring your friends for instance Devo? How do you know
Speaker 1: which acting roles are best for you? And Kay, I'm
Speaker 1: sure you get hundreds of requests of host speaking engagements.
Speaker 1: What do you look for in order to say yes
Speaker 1: or no? Deep Down, I felt like this was the
Speaker 1: right position for me, and now I feel like I've
Speaker 1: made a huge mistake. I also feel like this working
Speaker 1: relationship will now cause tension between my boss Nope, who
Speaker 1: just so happens to be my friend. I want to
Speaker 1: talk to her about it, but I don't know how
Speaker 1: to address her antics professionally and from a friend's perspective.
Speaker 1: I could be wrong, but I think this new role
Speaker 1: has gone to her head a little.
Speaker 3: That's why this thing you don't make it's business and pleasure.
Speaker 1: People need to understand that there is a difference between
Speaker 1: a friendship and a business relationship. She's hiring you because
Speaker 1: you guys are friend She is not going to be
Speaker 1: your friend when you guys are at work. And if
Speaker 1: you're expecting her to be your friend while at work,
Speaker 1: it may come across as bullying if she's being cold
Speaker 1: because at work she has to maintain a certain standard
Speaker 1: to make sure that everyone around her gets her job done.
Speaker 1: No one likes the person in charge. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: this right now. When I have to be in charge
Speaker 1: of my friends or my family, they all hate me,
Speaker 1: all of them, including my wife, including my wife. You
Speaker 1: know why, because there is a standard and there's accountability
Speaker 1: that is expected by the person who's in charge, and
Speaker 1: when shit goes wrong, all of those people then look
Speaker 1: to who you. So since y'all are going to look
Speaker 1: to me with that responsibility, I'm going to carry that
Speaker 1: responsibility with everything I do while at work, which means
Speaker 1: if you're not getting something done, I have to tell you.
Speaker 1: And I'm not going to sit you down and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're my friend. No, I'm gonna be like, yo, wasn't
Speaker 1: supposed to get done. It didn't get done. It needs
Speaker 1: to get done. A lot of times when people go
Speaker 1: to work with their friends, they think it's going to
Speaker 1: be all chummy, and so that person has to hold
Speaker 1: you accountable and now no one likes the person no more.
Speaker 3: But I think there should also be a level of respect.
Speaker 2: And for me, I know, if I'm working in an
Speaker 2: environment where my friend hires me for something, nothing's going
Speaker 2: to stop me from delivering the best version of whatever
Speaker 2: it is that they need because I would be so
Speaker 2: invested in whatever my friend.
Speaker 3: Needs in that position, because you want her to.
Speaker 2: Be It's like, yeah, it's like a responsibility that I
Speaker 2: feel like you should have if you are working with
Speaker 2: a friend on something, to say, you know what, I
Speaker 2: could let a stranger down potentially, But I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: let my friend down in this business.
Speaker 1: Everybody don't think like that. I would hope that, but no,
Speaker 1: everybody don't. You know how a lot of people think
Speaker 1: my friend got me this job. I'm about to be
Speaker 1: at work. I don't got to come on time. If
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit late. My friend got me. Oh
Speaker 1: this report was due with this time. I'll hand it
Speaker 1: in this time. My friend got me. That's how a
Speaker 1: lot of people do their friends when their friends put
Speaker 1: them on, and then when their friends fired them. Oh
Speaker 1: she changed, she acting different like I was only a
Speaker 1: five minutes late. Ten times I've dealt with that. Remember
Speaker 1: at the gym, hiring my friends. At times, I'm like, yo,
Speaker 1: Like I remember the session started at three o'clock. Val
Speaker 1: was only three oh three. We require the parents and
Speaker 1: the kids to be here fifteen minutes early. You think
Speaker 1: it's okay for you to be three minutes late. It's
Speaker 1: only three minutes. Cool. Now you have no more group sessions.
Speaker 1: De Val took my money away. He power tripping. I've
Speaker 1: heard that. I've heard that this very thing. I've heard
Speaker 1: that when I was running my business.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're absolutely about that.
Speaker 1: It's hard that she asked, how do you hire your friends?
Speaker 1: You use discernment and you say, you know what, I've
Speaker 1: watched this person over years, and I understand that this
Speaker 1: person has a certain work ethic, and I think that
Speaker 1: that work ethic is in alignment with mine. That's how
Speaker 1: I hire friends. And as you're younger and growing, you learn.
Speaker 2: Who can be weeded out of that process. Right now,
Speaker 2: I know for sure, although I have, for example, say
Speaker 2: a group of five friends, there's probably two who I
Speaker 2: would hire and for no other reason that I know
Speaker 2: that there are effective in whatever roles that they've been
Speaker 2: in over the course of years.
Speaker 3: So these are people who have had.
Speaker 2: Track records that I've seen them in their own jobs
Speaker 2: that I can say, along with the fact that we
Speaker 2: have a friendship and y'all will be invested in my
Speaker 2: product or my company or whatever it is, I've seen
Speaker 2: the track record of how you were able to exist.
Speaker 2: And that's probably what your friends saw in you, which
Speaker 2: is the reason why she hired you. But now I
Speaker 2: feel like it is worth you kind of assessing, Okay,
Speaker 2: what I'm feeling right now from my friend this bullying
Speaker 2: in a sense? Is it because she's just stressed in
Speaker 2: her role or is she really going out of her
Speaker 2: way to be like that because she's trying to flex
Speaker 2: deciding which one it is.
Speaker 1: I will say this too, Women get an unfair rap
Speaker 1: when they get hired to a new position. Clearly this
Speaker 1: one worked her ass off to be able to be
Speaker 1: put in that higher position, because they don't give higher
Speaker 1: positions to women for no reason, right, So clearly this
Speaker 1: woman has worked her ass off. You know what I've
Speaker 1: noticed though from a lot of women, and I've learned
Speaker 1: this from your mom and my aunt and my mom.
Speaker 1: Everybody's cool with you when we at the same level.
Speaker 1: One person gets promoted. Now everybody at that level hates
Speaker 1: that person. She said, people are coming to her to
Speaker 1: talk about her friend. Don't do that. You don't know
Speaker 1: what type of jealousy is coming with them. Conversations. You
Speaker 1: don't know what like the first thing you do when
Speaker 1: someone comes to talk to you about a higher with
Speaker 1: someone else, excuse me, excuse me. If you have an
Speaker 1: issue with that person, you should take that with hr.
Speaker 1: I'm not the person, because what happened is that person
Speaker 1: will then use that conversation like ahah soon Show said
Speaker 1: the same thing too. Women give each other the hardest
Speaker 1: time when it comes to moving up, especially in corporate.
Speaker 3: America, is fact.
Speaker 1: And I don't want this young lady to look at
Speaker 1: her friend and then listen to the other people around
Speaker 1: who are also saying she's being a bully. No, maybe
Speaker 1: she's just being a woman who's holding people accountable. And
Speaker 1: the fact that she's a woman is making other people
Speaker 1: pissed off. Oh yeah, you know what I'm saying. Your
Speaker 1: mom went through that. My mom went through that, My
Speaker 1: aunt Monique went through that. I watched it all the time.
Speaker 2: That's a fact. People hating my mom and her job.
Speaker 1: Yes, and your mom had three straight deficiency free surveys,
Speaker 1: which never happens. She had one every year for three
Speaker 1: years in a row. And allman people gets I can
Speaker 1: stand shure why because she gets shited done and because
Speaker 1: she won't let you come to work late and she
Speaker 1: holds you accountable. Oh, she's a bitch now because she's
Speaker 1: doing all the things that when that white man was
Speaker 1: telling you to do what you had no problem doing it.
Speaker 1: Now you have a woman of color telling you the
Speaker 1: same thing, and now she acting like a bitch. This
Speaker 1: really be happening in a corporate America college.
Speaker 3: So does.
Speaker 2: And then who's responsible when everything is gone to shit?
Speaker 2: Her the boss, yes, And who's going to have to
Speaker 2: answer to the bigger bosses her the boss? So yeah,
Speaker 2: give her a little grace here, sis, And if you
Speaker 2: value the friendship that much, know how to have the
Speaker 2: discernment to decipher what's what.
Speaker 3: All right. I think we covered everything in this listener letter, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she didn't ask about how I know which acting
Speaker 2: roles are for you and which speaking engagements. Usually I
Speaker 2: work with brands, and I partner with people who align
Speaker 2: and synergies match with turn like something that I believe
Speaker 2: in or something that I'm passionate about.
Speaker 3: That's when I.
Speaker 2: Normally take those speaking engagements and roles and stuff like
Speaker 2: that has to be something that I'm passionate about.
Speaker 1: For me as an actor, I take roles that are
Speaker 1: in alignment with my belief system. I take roles that
Speaker 1: tell stories that I can stand behind and say, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm comfortable telling this story because I agree
Speaker 1: with the message. I've been blessed that I own businesses,
Speaker 1: so I don't act for money. It's difficult to be
Speaker 1: an artist and to do anything for money, because then
Speaker 1: when the roles come around and you have to pay
Speaker 1: your rent or you have to pay your mortgage, and
Speaker 1: you may not agree with that role, but you have
Speaker 1: to take it to pay it. That happens to people
Speaker 1: at times. I've just decided that I wanted to build
Speaker 1: my own revenue streams outside of my art so that
Speaker 1: I can say yeah or nate to whatever projects and
Speaker 1: then I don't have.
Speaker 3: To be inmate number one again, right right.
Speaker 1: You know, you know, because sometimes get tired away in
Speaker 1: an orange suit. You know, I get tired of cursing
Speaker 1: people out and being a thug bad guy, because that's
Speaker 1: not the only version of a black man. I want
Speaker 1: to be seen. As we talked about early in this
Speaker 1: in this podcast or maybe it was another podcast, but
Speaker 1: watching everything through the male gaze, right, it's also watching
Speaker 1: everything through a European gaze. Right. When we see things,
Speaker 1: we see things through the idea of that's what everyone
Speaker 1: believes is the truth, and that's not always the truth.
Speaker 1: So I look at projects, I look at scripts, and
Speaker 1: I say, what is this story about? What is this
Speaker 1: character trying to say? And if I agree with the message,
Speaker 1: then I'm with it. If the message challenges me from
Speaker 1: my own thought and makes me think or rethink what
Speaker 1: I'm what my belief system is. I will then do
Speaker 1: research to say do I am I comfortable doing this?
Speaker 1: For example, Zach MHM, Zach is an x con. I
Speaker 1: got tired of playing the bad boy x con thug
Speaker 1: with the tattoos. But then I asked, and TP said,
Speaker 1: where do you want to see Zach go? I said,
Speaker 1: I want to see him. I wanted to be a
Speaker 1: redemption story. I want to be able to talk about
Speaker 1: recidivism going in and out of prison.
Speaker 2: And because that's someone's story, people really exactly people can
Speaker 2: relate to that.
Speaker 1: So I didn't want to amplify or glorify him being
Speaker 1: an ex con, but I wanted to be able to
Speaker 1: tell the story about how what an x con goes
Speaker 1: through and how they can build themselves up. So, just
Speaker 1: for example, Zach was that guy, you know, and I
Speaker 1: chose to do that, even though I didn't want to
Speaker 1: do any more criminals, it made sense for me.
Speaker 3: In that moment.
Speaker 2: You were able to really show a evolutions Zach, you know,
Speaker 2: trying to be better, absolutely trying to be better. All right,
Speaker 2: to y'all, if you want to be featured as a
Speaker 2: listener letter. Be sure to email us at Deadass Advice
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's the E A D A S S A D
Speaker 1: V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: Moment of truth time, we're talking about preparing for the
Speaker 2: tour dead Ass Podcast Live coming up this February twenty
Speaker 2: twenty four.
Speaker 3: Do you have a moment of truth for us?
Speaker 1: Yes? What's that This live show will be something that
Speaker 1: you have never seen before. You will get to see
Speaker 1: us do things and create an experience that people will
Speaker 1: walk away with being happy and motivated and smiling and
Speaker 1: laughing and loving their significant others when they leave that theater.
Speaker 1: That's just moments.
Speaker 3: Did I hypen this stuff up so much for y'all? Man?
Speaker 3: I hope it lives up to right. Why what it's
Speaker 3: been saying?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 3: Because I'm lowki scared as hell. That's my moment of truth.
Speaker 2: I get nervous before every show, and then once I
Speaker 2: hit the stage, I'm fine because you all do a
Speaker 2: great job of making me feel so warm and so
Speaker 2: loved and everything. But I never take for granted the
Speaker 2: support that y'all give us. I never take for granted
Speaker 2: the fact that y'all use your time, you spend your
Speaker 2: money to really support us, so that in itself is
Speaker 2: enough for me to work hard to continue to make
Speaker 2: sure that this show, regardless of what city you're in,
Speaker 2: is worth it. So we love y'all, We thank you.
Speaker 2: If you haven't purchased your tickets yet, be sure to
Speaker 2: go to is it deadass dot com?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Podcast that yeah, And then if you can go there
Speaker 2: and you can find links for all of the shows,
Speaker 2: you get the rundown for the dates, the venues and
Speaker 2: all that good stuff.
Speaker 3: And be sure to grab your copy of We Over Me.
Speaker 3: Don't forget about that.
Speaker 1: All of my stuff.
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, I didn't even get to the paper.
Speaker 1: Every time. She she just be reading the whole thing.
Speaker 1: Go ahead.
Speaker 2: It was the moment of truth that kind of spiraled
Speaker 2: into that because it just felt natural. But you can,
Speaker 2: you can, you can bring up the rear. Be sure
Speaker 2: to follow us on Patreon.
Speaker 1: You you know that you should have.
Speaker 3: Known that was hoping that we could laze over that,
Speaker 3: and you just.
Speaker 1: Got some stuff you can glaze over to, and then
Speaker 1: I could pull up the rear. You feel me. Look,
Speaker 1: she's stuck. She don't even know what to say. This
Speaker 1: is what I've been doing, She's stuck. Be sure to
Speaker 1: find us on Patreon see exclusive Deadass podcast video content,
Speaker 1: and to find us on social media at dead Ass
Speaker 1: the Podcasts and I Am Devoured.
Speaker 2: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate,
Speaker 2: review and subscribe and grab your copy of over Me
Speaker 2: and grab your tickets dead Ass.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and
Speaker 1: it's produced by Donor, Opinia and Triple Follow the podcast
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