Speaker 1: Hell I Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello, Hello, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us on another episode of Help I
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating. My name is Dean Anglert and I
Speaker 1: am alone without my co host today in studio, of course,
Speaker 1: joined in studio by the producers Mark Easton are Lovely Tory.
Speaker 1: Danielle is over there without a microphone. I don't know
Speaker 1: she's gonna be tuning in at all. But we've got
Speaker 1: a very special episode for you guys this week. Obviously,
Speaker 1: we have Bachelor in Paradise airing. Obviously I am on
Speaker 1: that show, so we might as well talk a little
Speaker 1: bit about that, uh, Tory who always has the most
Speaker 1: interesting dating dilemmas. I don't know exactly why, but we're
Speaker 1: gonna dive into your dating life a little bit. Not
Speaker 1: not why we're going to dive into, but why you
Speaker 1: always have the most interesting dating dilemmas. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's very interesting. I think you make them interesting because
Speaker 1: you always think you're not on a date, and you're
Speaker 1: you suck at dating. I think you just overthink everything. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm excited to that dive into that a little bit
Speaker 1: with you later on. Um, we might call Jared, who's
Speaker 1: on his honeymoon somewhere in Greece, but we probably won't
Speaker 1: be able to. It may not be happening because it's
Speaker 1: not a plane right now. Oh, I see, okay, so
Speaker 1: he's land in time. Where's Vanessa? Where is Vanessa Robo?
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I did see that they a wedding,
Speaker 1: so maybe they're looking amazing at that wedding too. Anyway,
Speaker 1: don't looking amazing. I just have to say Dean that
Speaker 1: I'm critical of your appearance sometimes all the time. I
Speaker 1: didn't like to be honest. It's working today, it's really working.
Speaker 1: Dean's got a what kind of ad is that? What
Speaker 1: would you call that? It's a bucket hat? I would suppose, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: kind of like an out bad hat. Yeah, it's got
Speaker 1: the rim all the way around. I need something like
Speaker 1: that for hiking. Anyway. He's got longer hair that looks good.
Speaker 1: He's got a tan going on, he's clean shaven. It's
Speaker 1: working for me, and I think the viewers of the
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise reunion are in for a real treat. Yes,
Speaker 1: So I just got back from Croatia, so I'm sporting
Speaker 1: a nice bronze tan and uh clean shaven. We actually
Speaker 1: have our we're filming our Bachelor in Paradise reunion showed,
Speaker 1: and so I wanted to go in with a clean
Speaker 1: shaven look. I'm pretty fortunate to just be gott have
Speaker 1: gotten back from Croatian might be nice and tan I
Speaker 1: am now. I have not bought an outfit yet. My
Speaker 1: car picks me up in about three hours and uh sorry,
Speaker 1: Jojo just attracted me over there. Car picks me up
Speaker 1: about three hours after I get off this podcast. I
Speaker 1: haven't even gone to the store to buy anything. So
Speaker 1: I don't own dress clothes, which is what you're supposed
Speaker 1: to be wearing at these reunions. Right, what have you
Speaker 1: warned to previous your reunions like suits and dressures? You
Speaker 1: don't know to suit anymore? No, I threw them all
Speaker 1: away when I moved into it. So this is my plan,
Speaker 1: and let me actually let me question the ethics on this,
Speaker 1: because this is what I'm gonna do with whether it's
Speaker 1: ethical or unethical, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: to Nordstrom, buy a nice suits, by a nice shirt,
Speaker 1: by a nice bow tie, maybe wear a bolo tie
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly yet, keep the tags on where,
Speaker 1: and then just return it the next day. I don't
Speaker 1: think that is ethical. Is that really unethical? I think
Speaker 1: that's bad. I think that's borderline theft. The first person
Speaker 1: to have ever done that, though I've done it before. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe we haven't talked about it publicly on podcast, but
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't love it. I feel like, plus,
Speaker 1: you're using it on television, that's an actual level of theft.
Speaker 1: I think. So I've done it before on for the
Speaker 1: tel for reunion show like that. I think for the
Speaker 1: Winter Games reunion, I die police suit jacket. What the
Speaker 1: do I need a nine suit jacket for? So? I
Speaker 1: wore it looked amazing. I brought it back to the
Speaker 1: same Nord show and I was so scared that they
Speaker 1: were going to recognize me and be like, wait a second,
Speaker 1: we know what you're doing right now, but a jacket.
Speaker 1: How did they police that? Because yeah, Jack is not
Speaker 1: going to get all sweating necessary, You've got a shirt
Speaker 1: on in between, and possibly even an undershirt, right, So
Speaker 1: what's why does that become unethical? Then to wear the
Speaker 1: jacket when it's just gonna be dry clean and put
Speaker 1: right back up on. That's the one door just pulled
Speaker 1: it up. That's oh sure, that's a red huh. The
Speaker 1: American TI it was yeah, because we were it was
Speaker 1: like the Olympics theme, Got it, got it? When you
Speaker 1: were doing the was his mentel all from Rachel Lindsay season.
Speaker 1: That's that's a Ran Secret Distinction jacket. Is for the
Speaker 1: Mental Olive War Ryan Secret Distinction Jacket. And that was
Speaker 1: a hit. I remember he gave me two jackets, well
Speaker 1: Amy threw him. Gave me two jackets, right. One of
Speaker 1: them was like this like pretty plain gray with like
Speaker 1: a black lapel, and then there was this camera one
Speaker 1: which she was not going to wear the like obviously
Speaker 1: the camera is a little bit more out there. And
Speaker 1: I took a poll on my Twitter. I was like,
Speaker 1: which one of these jackets should I wear? And by
Speaker 1: a landslide the gray one one. It was like not
Speaker 1: even to five percent the gray jacket one, and I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, obviously I'm going to wear the one
Speaker 1: that didn't win the pole. And I really appreciate the look.
Speaker 1: I thought it looks good. Um, what are we talking about? Well,
Speaker 1: to be honest, when you said that you're going to
Speaker 1: record for Bachelor in Paradise the reunion. My stomach turned.
Speaker 1: I'm stressed. Okay, so we are three weeks into Paradise.
Speaker 1: I think we're four maybe four four weeks. We're Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right for this is the week week four Paradise.
Speaker 1: Why are you stressed? Oh my gosh, Dean tell me
Speaker 1: the birthday cake, the reassuring Kalin we're together, and then
Speaker 1: you pull her aside after the rose ceremony, and now
Speaker 1: I'm just left on a cliff hanger. What did you do?
Speaker 1: Because you haven't seen Tuesday's episode yet? Well, we can't.
Speaker 1: It's not to say yet. You're right, and so you're
Speaker 1: going to see what happens tomorrow. But you're saying you're
Speaker 1: not confident in what's gonna unfold. Is that what you're saying.
Speaker 1: I'm like stressed that you may have to see Klin tomorrow.
Speaker 1: What do you mean, oh, at the reunion show? Yes,
Speaker 1: because I don't know how this is going to end,
Speaker 1: but I'm guessing from your track record it's not going
Speaker 1: to end the best. And I'm sick. I'm sorry, but
Speaker 1: my stomach is turning. I will say it was funny
Speaker 1: that you texted me when you were watching this episode,
Speaker 1: because like you obviously know how everything's gonna turn out,
Speaker 1: and so you're like, Dn, I'm stressed out right now.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: just wait, because it's probably gonna get a little bit worse.
Speaker 1: It's like you did so that. He said, Oh, that's
Speaker 1: a bummer because it's probably gonna get worse for you something,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, my heart can't handle this
Speaker 1: on a Saturday. It's like that Batman quote, it's always
Speaker 1: darkest just before the dawn. But let me assure you,
Speaker 1: the dawn is coming and things are gonna get a up, well,
Speaker 1: maybe get a lot brighter. We'll see. Anyways, there's a
Speaker 1: lot more going on in Paradise besides me and my
Speaker 1: stupid antick. Right, yeah, but we'll get back to that,
Speaker 1: back to my antick. Yeah, I still need to know more, Okay, sure,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm happy to fill you in as much
Speaker 1: as they can. Okay. By the way, that quote is
Speaker 1: from Thomas Fuller from Batman. I'm just saying it goes
Speaker 1: back a long way. Okay, Well, thank you for the
Speaker 1: you know, when they do um, like around the horn
Speaker 1: or something like that. At the very end, they do
Speaker 1: all the things that they got wrong. That's basically what
Speaker 1: you're fact checking as you go. That's that's great. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much, um Tory. What other storylines from Bachelor
Speaker 1: Paradise are you most interested in right now? Well? Do
Speaker 1: you know what? I'm so confused and I would love
Speaker 1: to know more of Why don't we see any of
Speaker 1: Mike and Sydney's love story? Like they keep doing like
Speaker 1: cartwheels on the beach and that's all we get. We
Speaker 1: see no dialogue between the two, no dialogue, and then
Speaker 1: they get the rose and it's like solidified. Everyone knows
Speaker 1: that maybe they're just not that much like drama developing
Speaker 1: between them? Are they actually in love? Like I wish
Speaker 1: I could be more attached to them, but I'm not,
Speaker 1: um knowing both of them personally, they have like conflicting personalities,
Speaker 1: not a bad way, but you know, to trap sometime. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think that they were just like a slow
Speaker 1: moving couple of Sydney I know in past relationships has
Speaker 1: moved really slowly, and Mike is like kind of a
Speaker 1: guy that like, you know, he's I don't know, he
Speaker 1: like reads like erotic novels, and he's like into that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, say, erotic novels. You saw him read
Speaker 1: an erotic novel on the beach. He brought an erotic
Speaker 1: novel to the beach, which is fine, Like that's that's
Speaker 1: perfectly fine. Wait a minute, what are we talking about here,
Speaker 1: like fifty Shades or like one of those Harlequin romances
Speaker 1: with the shirtless guy on the front. Let me ask
Speaker 1: you this. If you went to a bookstore, would you
Speaker 1: find fifty Shades of Gray and the erotic novel section?
Speaker 1: Would you find it in the romance section? Because I
Speaker 1: think fifty Shades more romance than erotic. Couldn't like Twilight
Speaker 1: almost be It could be, of course, but that's a
Speaker 1: book that you'd also find like drama or sci fi
Speaker 1: or romance. So would young adult be kind of associated
Speaker 1: with that thing that's separate. I'm saying there is a
Speaker 1: section in every bookstore that goes by erotic novel and
Speaker 1: none of those are going to be bestsellers quote unquote
Speaker 1: like uh, fifty Shades or like a Twilight. These are
Speaker 1: more graphic than those other ones. Again, I didn't read
Speaker 1: the book. I saw the cover do you have an author?
Speaker 1: I wish I had the photographic. I'm ready to pull
Speaker 1: it back. It was just it wasn't erotic novel. I
Speaker 1: don't I don't want to make a bigger deal out
Speaker 1: of it because I feel bad. But were the nude
Speaker 1: people on the cover of the book. It was like
Speaker 1: a hot and sensual like still of I will say
Speaker 1: I had recently got one of these about a cowboy,
Speaker 1: and they look like just like kind of normal, like
Speaker 1: sexy book on the cover, but if you read them,
Speaker 1: those things get very graphic. Oh my god, I'm giving
Speaker 1: a target. I will say I read this book once
Speaker 1: when I was like nineteen years old. It's like the
Speaker 1: first novel I ever read, like willingly not like not
Speaker 1: a was was signed by school. I was not much of
Speaker 1: a reader when I was a kid, mind you, And
Speaker 1: it was it was a stupid book. It was called
Speaker 1: The Game by Neil Strauss, which is just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: don't you guys know who Neil Strouss is. It's basically
Speaker 1: a book, like a fictional book about how to go
Speaker 1: and pick up women and heard of this and like
Speaker 1: how these guys go out and like these magic tricks
Speaker 1: and peacock and Negan all these things to get women
Speaker 1: to cook up with them. Horrible book. This is I
Speaker 1: was meaning so much about teen years old. I get it,
Speaker 1: and I get it. It was referred to me by
Speaker 1: a friend. Um. Anyways, the point is I was reading
Speaker 1: it one day when I was at work as a
Speaker 1: bellman out of hotels. I'm standing moving around, but I
Speaker 1: had some downtime, so I was reading it and they
Speaker 1: got graphic with one of the scenes, like one of
Speaker 1: the physical scenes that they had, and I was like
Speaker 1: reading and I was like, holy cow, this is getting
Speaker 1: hot and heavy, Like I started to feel parts on
Speaker 1: me tangle that I didn't want to have tingling while
Speaker 1: I was working. And I can only imagine if there
Speaker 1: was a book dedicated to eroticism, I would be just
Speaker 1: losing my absolute mind the entire time. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean, because I've got a very vivid imagination. And
Speaker 1: this is what Mike redlect through it on the beach.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, back to the original point. Yes he was.
Speaker 1: He was, And again no disrespect like obviously you know
Speaker 1: you do. You get tre kicks however you can. But
Speaker 1: I'm just saying the the dichotomy between him and Sydney
Speaker 1: is like he was this guy that that read those books,
Speaker 1: and Sydney is like a very reserve conservative woman who
Speaker 1: like dates very slowly, take some time to even kiss someone.
Speaker 1: And so I'm wondering, like if maybe the relationship blossoms
Speaker 1: later on in the series. And I'm sorry in the
Speaker 1: season because it just like hasn't necessarily got to that
Speaker 1: point yet. But so yes and tweach their own and
Speaker 1: good for him. But if you're a woman and you'd
Speaker 1: find this out about a new guy you're seeing, is
Speaker 1: that a red flag that he reads erotic novels? Well,
Speaker 1: I was going to ask that about you. Would it
Speaker 1: be weird if somebody who's reading like A Fifty Shades
Speaker 1: of Gray, because that's very no because everybody read that,
Speaker 1: but that's still very like explicit points. Yeah, but it's
Speaker 1: different because guys like women who are into that sort
Speaker 1: of thing, that would be a plus. I think for
Speaker 1: a man wouldn't. Really, I don't know, I think that
Speaker 1: I think it goes both ways. I actually have dated
Speaker 1: a girl in the past where she was like kind
Speaker 1: of into that stuff a lot, and person I was like,
Speaker 1: that's pretty cool with them. By like a little later on,
Speaker 1: I was like well, is that cool? I don't know anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of second guessing it. Wait, she was into
Speaker 1: the like the stuff that they talk about in fifty
Speaker 1: Shades or just she was into books like that, into
Speaker 1: the books like that. Okay, yeah all right, now yeah
Speaker 1: yeah no, because that that's that's a red flag girl
Speaker 1: takes you home and shows you her leather strap collection.
Speaker 1: That can be intimidating. It would be fun for like
Speaker 1: a short amount of time, and you'd be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: actually turning out to be a personality trade, not just
Speaker 1: like a off sort of thing. You know. It's better
Speaker 1: than if he has like a subscription to Hustler magazine,
Speaker 1: isn't it wouldn't it be a step above that? I
Speaker 1: do agree with that Hustler Magazine is like a hardcore playboy.
Speaker 1: I'm glad I don't know what that is. Then you know,
Speaker 1: we're a porn collection, Like I feel like erotic novels
Speaker 1: are a step up from those things. You're still getting
Speaker 1: like your literature, and that's only positive, I guess, But
Speaker 1: your vocabulary is expanding in a very different Enuni you're
Speaker 1: saying they're all kind of in the same bubble. I
Speaker 1: gotta think that. I bet you dirty talk is off
Speaker 1: the charts, though, no, he would be very well versed in.
Speaker 1: If you look at his Twitter, he says that he
Speaker 1: has some funny tweets to Mike where he goes. He goes, Man,
Speaker 1: I want to pull someth I'm gonna pull some tweets
Speaker 1: up real quick. Let's take a Let's take a before
Speaker 1: we do that, Let's take a quick break and I'll
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Speaker 1: slash Dean. Okay, So during that break I was able
Speaker 1: to find one tweet. I thought there were more. There
Speaker 1: might be some buried down there, but he said, he
Speaker 1: tweets I want to text someone freaky things every now
Speaker 1: and then shruggy emoji. It isn't bad, but it's like
Speaker 1: that's is that something you should be tweeting? Do you
Speaker 1: think that hurts his chances at all? The fact that
Speaker 1: we don't have really a storyline with him or he's
Speaker 1: like tweeting these things. Do you think that means he's
Speaker 1: probably not gonna be the Bachelor because we're not really
Speaker 1: attached to his storyline. People were excited about him as
Speaker 1: a popular bat and Nick, we were like attached to
Speaker 1: their storyline. We were feeling every motion they were, and
Speaker 1: we don't. We don't really have that with Mike. He
Speaker 1: just kind of moving behind the scenes this season, and
Speaker 1: I wonder, I mean, you're right, you don't really see
Speaker 1: it bachelor get plucked out of Paradise unless they're like
Speaker 1: a polarizing figure from that season, and doesn't seem like
Speaker 1: Mike really is that figure. This doesn't. Do you think
Speaker 1: Derek could be the Bachelor? I personally don't think he
Speaker 1: could be, but I see a lot of people pulling
Speaker 1: for him to be the Bachelor. I don't think he
Speaker 1: has the ability to like command a room as a
Speaker 1: bachelor should like. I don't think he's gonna like walk
Speaker 1: into a room full of thirty women, and all those
Speaker 1: thirty women are gonna be like, damn, I want to
Speaker 1: date this guy, you know what I mean. Although, to
Speaker 1: to rebuttal my own point, I have gotten a few
Speaker 1: texts over the past like four days alone from like
Speaker 1: three different my girlfriends, and they all have been asking
Speaker 1: me to set them up with Derek. What do you
Speaker 1: say when they say that? I say, he is trying
Speaker 1: to date someone on television right now, so let's give
Speaker 1: the guy a little bit of space. And I also
Speaker 1: say that, uh, I don't know, like I don't necessarily
Speaker 1: I'm not good enough friends with Derek to be like, okay, cool, Like,
Speaker 1: let me let me connect you too. Do you like
Speaker 1: setting your friends up? No? Why? Actually, so, I just
Speaker 1: spent like I said earlier, I just spent a week
Speaker 1: in Croatia. Yeah, Dose boys were cute. Yeah, Ludo and
Speaker 1: Law are very cute. What are you guy talking about
Speaker 1: over there? I was just trying to figure out who
Speaker 1: that one is. You're talking about the Derek Wolf today,
Speaker 1: because I know he went out with Steph has now
Speaker 1: expressed interest in Derek and so, And I'll be honest,
Speaker 1: down on that beach, I thought that Tasha and Derek
Speaker 1: were a good match because Derek is like a mature,
Speaker 1: well put together gentleman. Tassia is I feel like she's
Speaker 1: looking for someone like that, And so like the Tastia
Speaker 1: JPJ dynamic was a little different, and then the Tastia
Speaker 1: Derek dynamic just made a lot more sense to me.
Speaker 1: People like, there are you on the Derek train, Tory,
Speaker 1: I do like Derek. I don't think you might be
Speaker 1: wrong about Derek. I think he might be commanding. I'm
Speaker 1: not I don't think he commands around. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: I dislike Derek but you like him. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: I just like Derek by any means. He's a nice guy. Um.
Speaker 1: I think that he when he eventually finds his person,
Speaker 1: he's going to be a great match that person. I
Speaker 1: just don't think that, Like I said earlier, there's gonna
Speaker 1: be thirty women like salivating standing at a at a
Speaker 1: rose ceremony, like damn, please give me a rose, Please
Speaker 1: give me a rose. I like, I want to end
Speaker 1: up with you like they would with like a Tyler
Speaker 1: C or like a Peter the Pilot, or even like
Speaker 1: to an extent, you think Pilot Pete commands a room
Speaker 1: I think he's like he has the presence where he's
Speaker 1: like good looking, successful in his own right. He's like
Speaker 1: confident and kind of quirky. And I think that women
Speaker 1: like see him, Tori. I would imagined you would probably
Speaker 1: see him in person and like kind of like gush
Speaker 1: and be like, oh my god, pilot Pete. Yes, judging
Speaker 1: by what you've told me about the things that you
Speaker 1: like in guys and how you fall for I think
Speaker 1: we're probably about the same height. He's tall. He looks
Speaker 1: about five. Everyone always comes up to me in person
Speaker 1: and they say, oh my gosh, you're so much tallerant person.
Speaker 1: I guarantee he's at least six ft tall. Okay, you cheat, Okay,
Speaker 1: but we take an inch off whatever it says online. Well,
Speaker 1: the online biography says he's five eleven. Sure, what is
Speaker 1: my online biography say? Okay, stand by, how tall are you? Tori?
Speaker 1: I'm five ten and three quarters. Wow, so you've got
Speaker 1: a quarter of a high standard. I would have to
Speaker 1: shrink three fourths down so that's six one, But in
Speaker 1: reality I'm six one and a half. You always take
Speaker 1: an inch to one and a half of my license
Speaker 1: six ladies, anytime a guy has a high on bumble
Speaker 1: or their dating profile, always take an inch off if
Speaker 1: they're putting it in a bubble. I put thing like
Speaker 1: three happy to no. I think he should like under
Speaker 1: six ft because when we were at all a nap
Speaker 1: but together, I'm pretty sure he was taller. And Mike's
Speaker 1: six five six three for Derek. Oh, that is not
Speaker 1: true at all, someone at Google or something, because that
Speaker 1: is a falsified number. Okay, did you just admit that
Speaker 1: you falsified your number two by a half an inch?
Speaker 1: You round up still counts He's not six two and
Speaker 1: a half. I tower over and whenever I stand next
Speaker 1: to him, a white line, a lie, or all the
Speaker 1: same things. So you're telling me right now you want
Speaker 1: Derek to be the next Bachelor. I would actually be
Speaker 1: maybe more intrigued with his storyline than Pilot Pete. Why.
Speaker 1: I just feel like we've seen kind of all of
Speaker 1: Pilot Pete that we've needed a scene. You want to
Speaker 1: see more of Derek because like we met the parents,
Speaker 1: we saw their sex life, Like there's really nothing hidden
Speaker 1: about him where I'm kind of like I've seen it
Speaker 1: all with Derek. I'm like I could definitely need layers
Speaker 1: peeled back for you. I guess I could see Derek
Speaker 1: having like better conversations with the women. Again, I just
Speaker 1: think that a bachelor's season is more about the caddy
Speaker 1: female drama between them, like trying to like pine over
Speaker 1: each other to get to the guy. And I think
Speaker 1: that women would be like fighting tooth and nail harder
Speaker 1: to get to Peter than they would to Derek. Well,
Speaker 1: I was going to ask you this because you said
Speaker 1: you think that pilot Pete is attractive and would command
Speaker 1: the room and girls would be, you know, wanting to
Speaker 1: talk and get to know him more. Do you think
Speaker 1: Derek's attractive? Um, he's not my type. He has blue eyes,
Speaker 1: just like you. He's not my type. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I like the scruff very much. Okay, so's the mustache.
Speaker 1: That's not that's not scruff, that's a mustache. It's is
Speaker 1: he your type? Well, he looks like John Krasinski? Is
Speaker 1: that how you say that's a good every woman loves.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's just because I know darre Can. I hung
Speaker 1: out with the multiple times, and like once you start
Speaker 1: to hang out with people you like, and that's another
Speaker 1: thing too. Probably why I have a lot more for
Speaker 1: Peters because there's like a mystery or like an allure
Speaker 1: of someone that you don't know on a personal level.
Speaker 1: I've never met Pete in person. I've hung out with
Speaker 1: Derek many many times, and so I just like I
Speaker 1: know him too well to be like, okay, like you
Speaker 1: should do this. But with Peter, like I don't know
Speaker 1: much about him, so I'm just like projecting how I
Speaker 1: think he would do as a bachelor into my like
Speaker 1: into existence, you know what I mean. But I will say, no,
Speaker 1: he's not my type. If I were to like get
Speaker 1: super drunk and just uh, what's the word. If I
Speaker 1: were just like, you know, go all out one night
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: go for it. I'm gonna find a dude and I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna dig in make out with him. See where
Speaker 1: we go? Who knows, like the night is our oyster?
Speaker 1: It wouldn't be Derek. Who would it be Tyler see
Speaker 1: Ready to Go? Or Pete? I don't know, pilot Pete
Speaker 1: I would be into it too, or Peter for my
Speaker 1: season or Alex b from my season. There are a
Speaker 1: lot of dudes that I'd be willing to get down
Speaker 1: in dirty way. Peter from your season has like major
Speaker 1: scruff and blue eyes, right, he's got green ice. What
Speaker 1: is going on? Is there something going on between you
Speaker 1: and Derek that you just need to maybe let out? No,
Speaker 1: I mean there's not. We Actually what's funny is when
Speaker 1: I walked down to the beach the first time I
Speaker 1: saw him, because there was like, I don't know what,
Speaker 1: I don't want to call it beef, but like Taylor
Speaker 1: Nolan and I are like friends, you know. I didn't
Speaker 1: know that. And it's like whenever you see here, one side,
Speaker 1: like there's always three sides of the stories after breakups,
Speaker 1: Like obviously exes are never gonna really speak very highly
Speaker 1: of each other. I'm not saying that she ever spoke
Speaker 1: negatively of him, but um, I don't know, It's just
Speaker 1: it was like a tricky situation. You and Kaylin are
Speaker 1: shown a lot with p d A and always being
Speaker 1: off together and doing your own thing. But who was
Speaker 1: like the guy you would confide in most when you're
Speaker 1: at Bachelor Paradise Besides wells um, like, who is your
Speaker 1: guy friend? I mean they're all my friends. Who did
Speaker 1: you spend time with outside of Klin? I didn't really
Speaker 1: like confide in any I didn't need to confide in anyone.
Speaker 1: I was like struggling down Yeah, I guess like my
Speaker 1: producer friend Bill was down there. I guess I can
Speaker 1: find I want to know who you hung out with,
Speaker 1: because it was really just you and Klin the whole time. Dylan.
Speaker 1: I hung out Dylan a lot. How is Dylan is?
Speaker 1: He has great? As everyone said, you like Dylan, because
Speaker 1: I think that a lot of people kind of think
Speaker 1: he's like kind of naggy and complaining, But he's great.
Speaker 1: I love him. Our producer Daniel is obsessed with Dylan,
Speaker 1: So you got to take that up with her. You
Speaker 1: don't like him, No, I'm sorry. I think you ms
Speaker 1: heard I said I love him. I'm obsessed with him.
Speaker 1: I am rooting so hardcore for Dylan. Dylan in the
Speaker 1: Hand of You love story, Yes, I live for it.
Speaker 1: It's my favorite thing. I'm watching Paradise this year or
Speaker 1: the season. Um, there's something so sweet about him. Yes,
Speaker 1: he's very pure. Yeah, he's so pure and his intentions
Speaker 1: are there and Hannah just needs to just go with it,
Speaker 1: which looks like she's finally starting to totally focus. Was
Speaker 1: also biased because everyone thinks that her husband looks like
Speaker 1: they have the same hair. That's about it. And the
Speaker 1: short of my sides, it's great hair. And he is
Speaker 1: hilarious to like he you don't really get to see
Speaker 1: a lot of his humor because he's constantly like kind
Speaker 1: of being upset about the whole handed in Blake situation
Speaker 1: or whatever it was. But he's like a hilarious dude,
Speaker 1: and like his humor is very like it's very similar
Speaker 1: to mind, like self deprecating, very like I don't want
Speaker 1: I don't know how to say this. He was like
Speaker 1: he's like openly like, oh yeah, I'd make out with
Speaker 1: that dude for sure, or like Mike's so hot, I'd
Speaker 1: make out with him, you know, And I always respects
Speaker 1: respect a guy who's humor is like he's comfortable enough
Speaker 1: with himself to be like, oh yeah, like I totally
Speaker 1: make out that dude, like jokingly, but like still like
Speaker 1: you it takes a lot to you guys think about that,
Speaker 1: like that guy is pretty attractive. If I were to
Speaker 1: maybe hook about the guy, I would hook up with him. No,
Speaker 1: he had a list of five people. Clearly he thought
Speaker 1: about this. I made out with a couple of dudes
Speaker 1: in creation people holds on Tyler c Peter, Alex Peter.
Speaker 1: What you made out with guys in croati like closed mouth,
Speaker 1: extended time kisses like a joking thing or like a
Speaker 1: cultural thing, like a joking fun like we're all party in.
Speaker 1: So you've never kissed a guy in a non joking manner? Now?
Speaker 1: Is that bad? No? Not at all. I just clarifying
Speaker 1: because I I agree it's funny to talk about for
Speaker 1: whatever reason. There's never any tongue. It's always just like,
Speaker 1: you know, like nice little cute pecks. Yeah, yeah, good.
Speaker 1: Did you feel a little tingly thing down side when
Speaker 1: I was reading that book? Now? I didn't, but maybe
Speaker 1: I should try a little harder. Wait, they were all
Speaker 1: sitting around the campfire talking about their worst first kiss,
Speaker 1: and they all said it was Colton. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to ask you if you kiss Colton, but I didn't
Speaker 1: want to know who. Do you have a worst kiss? Like?
Speaker 1: Does everyone? Do you think everybody has a bad kiss?
Speaker 1: I'm probably a lot of people's worst kiss get out
Speaker 1: of here, probably? Yeah. So did you say that was
Speaker 1: such confidence? Well? I know my first kiss was very
Speaker 1: embarrassing because I've never done it before fifteen, which is
Speaker 1: a little old for a first kiss. And I was
Speaker 1: I kept going like I was making a noise, like
Speaker 1: the whole room could hear it. It was there are
Speaker 1: other couples and wait, where were you friends? Basement? We're
Speaker 1: watching a movie, like three couples watching a movie and
Speaker 1: everybody was making out and then the noise happened and
Speaker 1: that was from me. Nice And it sounds like you
Speaker 1: have a complex about it. Yeah, what about a bad kiss? Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure. That's a lot of tongue. It was like overwhelming.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I still like cringe about it. Why it's just
Speaker 1: too much tongue. It was just one of those things
Speaker 1: where he was already such like a presence where you
Speaker 1: could just be more delicate and your kiss, and he
Speaker 1: definitely was not. It was just like so much tongue.
Speaker 1: And I think they think they try to do something
Speaker 1: to like stimulate the girl, and you're like, now, yeah,
Speaker 1: actually I just remember my worst kiss and it was
Speaker 1: very similar to that. It was like a tongue being
Speaker 1: like uses like a torpedo or like a spear, Like
Speaker 1: you have like so many muscles in your tongue you
Speaker 1: don't need to use every single one of them. When
Speaker 1: you're making out with someone, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I just remembered one from high school. Actually she was
Speaker 1: I don't think she kiss a lot of guys before me,
Speaker 1: and so when we kissed, she literally just opened her mouth.
Speaker 1: Is why does she poss I wasn't sure what to
Speaker 1: do with that. Also that hitting the teeth has a
Speaker 1: pret good story. Well, I mean, I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: a lot of people's bad too. But but I think
Speaker 1: he told us on scrubbing in or some other podcasts.
Speaker 1: But I'm this one woman I read make out with
Speaker 1: She did this thing where she kept her face far
Speaker 1: away from mine and she would trace my lips with
Speaker 1: her tongue and she never like made contact. It was
Speaker 1: always tongue to lip. Yeah, I felt like she was
Speaker 1: like trying to come in for a landing or something
Speaker 1: like clearing it's clearing space. But so in that instance,
Speaker 1: she was a bad kiss. She was a bad kid.
Speaker 1: This is my worst kiss experience. Uh. And my first
Speaker 1: kiss ever was it the Scott's Valley roller rink when
Speaker 1: I was like twelve, and uh, we kissed once and
Speaker 1: then she whispered in my ear, I'm on probation, I'm
Speaker 1: not she was, and I said I'm sorry, and she said,
Speaker 1: I got busted for having marijuana. Twelve year old a
Speaker 1: thing around like, but she was on probation. She was
Speaker 1: worried about I think she saw like a police officer
Speaker 1: or something, and I'm like, you know a lot to
Speaker 1: be out in public, like no, I'm just worried Eastern
Speaker 1: like a bad girl. So is that why she kissed
Speaker 1: you to kind of hide from the police officer, like
Speaker 1: hid her face. I don't. I don't know. Because we
Speaker 1: we went and saw a plan of the apes, the
Speaker 1: Tim Burton one, and then we kissed and then she
Speaker 1: then I never saw her again. I think that explains
Speaker 1: the tattoo is a lot. Yeah. Yeah, she like instilled
Speaker 1: like a bad boy mentality into you. You know, well, yes,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm signing of a bad boy. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, you don't know what it's like to kiss
Speaker 1: the fugitive. Let me tell you. You think that would
Speaker 1: be alluring to you know? I I they had jobs
Speaker 1: and I was like, should we stop? And she's like no,
Speaker 1: and then we kissed. Yeah, And then after it was done,
Speaker 1: I was like, I mean it should I be like
Speaker 1: concerned and she's like, no, and I just wanted to
Speaker 1: let you know, and uh, let's considerate. My dad's a
Speaker 1: police officer, asked her contracts. Are you kidding? I'm not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know we knew some of the same people. How
Speaker 1: long did you guys date? For? Like? Three days? I
Speaker 1: was twelve, you know, the most riveting, but I was.
Speaker 1: It was funny to hear Colton being everyone's first worst
Speaker 1: kiss I will say though I didn't watch his season,
Speaker 1: but when I would watch the certain parts from it
Speaker 1: or the highlights, I always noticed he looked like a
Speaker 1: really rough kisser. Yeah. I just think it's lack of
Speaker 1: experience maybe, which is kind of endearing in a weird way.
Speaker 1: Would you would you agree? You want to who looks
Speaker 1: like a bad kisser on Paradise? You well? In addition
Speaker 1: to me, yes, John Paul Jones, have you seen what
Speaker 1: he kisses? He like goes full on fish mode, like
Speaker 1: like pucks the cheap, the lips out a lot. Do
Speaker 1: you like that? Tho? Yes, let's talk about third date.
Speaker 1: But before we talk about third date, let's take a
Speaker 1: quick break. Okay, great, and I'm gradual. I'm glad you
Speaker 1: bring that up. Toward because I do want to talk
Speaker 1: about the JPJ and the Tajuan and the Haley from
Speaker 1: this episode because what's your because here's my thing. It's
Speaker 1: funny because Nick nick It texted me right after this
Speaker 1: episode are He texted me good friends whatever, and he's
Speaker 1: got his bachelor podcast via files. Don't listen to that one.
Speaker 1: Listen Almost Famous. It's way better plugging people to listen
Speaker 1: to Almost Famous instead of which you did plug on
Speaker 1: this week's episode. You said when your conversation with Kalen,
Speaker 1: but I do suck at dating. I plugged help by
Speaker 1: second Dating, not Almost Fam on the TV show Thank You.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. I can't they aired that. To be firstly honest,
Speaker 1: that was one of my texts to you too. But
Speaker 1: I'm mad at you. But way to plug um and
Speaker 1: Nick text me and he goes, hey, what's up with
Speaker 1: this JPJ guy? And it's funny watching this episode back
Speaker 1: because look, I love John Paul Jones, Like he's hilarious.
Speaker 1: He's like kind of hard to have like a real
Speaker 1: in depth conversation with it because he's just kind of
Speaker 1: like whoa like bro cool, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: But then watching these dates with Juan and Haley. He
Speaker 1: like can't form full sentences. He's like laughing. His ass
Speaker 1: off of the time is laugh Yeah, is wild. When
Speaker 1: he said this is my first ever taj one on one,
Speaker 1: I didn't get that because her name is Tajuan and
Speaker 1: they're on a one on one, so just rhymes. It
Speaker 1: was like a it was a punt one. I don't
Speaker 1: know why, you guys. I literally wrote this in the
Speaker 1: notes and I sat there and I was like, wrote
Speaker 1: in my notes and I said, I didn't really get
Speaker 1: why this was so witty. Yeah, it was just beyond me.
Speaker 1: She really funny that you said that, because so when
Speaker 1: she came down, I'm sure you don't remember what her
Speaker 1: date card read, but it said find the taj Wan
Speaker 1: you want to go on a date with. And it
Speaker 1: makes sense because her name is Tajwan, so like, find
Speaker 1: the Tajwan you want to take on a date. And
Speaker 1: I didn't know who it was when she walked down.
Speaker 1: I had no idea what her name was, Tajuan, and
Speaker 1: so she read that and I looked around and I go,
Speaker 1: that was the weirdest daate card I've ever heard. Like
Speaker 1: that doesn't make any I was like, what the hell
Speaker 1: is the taj Wan? Later like it took me a
Speaker 1: second realized upon as well, Yeah, because I Google actually
Speaker 1: googled what taj means because I's like, maybe that means
Speaker 1: something one on one and then it was actually it said,
Speaker 1: did you mean taz, which is t a z? And
Speaker 1: then that's a drug? So I really didn't get her name.
Speaker 1: Is her father's name is wan. I don't hold the
Speaker 1: whole day, it was just weird to me. J p J.
Speaker 1: The food on a date, that's not that weird. That
Speaker 1: was made to like, yeah, because is that has anybody
Speaker 1: done that before? Though? I don't know, but that's not
Speaker 1: the weirdest thing on that time. The whole day was
Speaker 1: just weird to me. Was it not like she's just
Speaker 1: so herself and JPJ so himself that it's two very independent,
Speaker 1: eccentric people together. But I think kind of worked because
Speaker 1: it was like, you're kind of quirky, I'm kind of quirky,
Speaker 1: and we just accept each other for where we're at.
Speaker 1: And Tajuan was immediately like obsessed with him, and I
Speaker 1: think it was tricky. She had a panic attack because
Speaker 1: of it when Haley came down. I don't really talk
Speaker 1: Tajwan very much when we were on the beach, but
Speaker 1: I didn't realize how into JPJ she actually was. But yeah,
Speaker 1: she really liked him. But then he goes on a
Speaker 1: date with Haley twin from Ben season, right, who is Haley?
Speaker 1: Haley is Emily's twin from Ben season. And the day
Speaker 1: with Haley. Aesthetically speaking, they look like they could be
Speaker 1: not like brother and sister, but they like they're both
Speaker 1: like a blonde, like really good looking people, and so
Speaker 1: just on paper, they made a lot of sense to me.
Speaker 1: They're both like quirky and fun and whatever, and I
Speaker 1: don't know, it was just funny to watch their date,
Speaker 1: and so he came back and he was like super
Speaker 1: smitten about it. But I think in tonight's episode on Tuesday,
Speaker 1: we're gonna see like maybe a different side of JPJ,
Speaker 1: just judging by what we saw in the teaser for
Speaker 1: tomorrow's episode, Well we saw JPJ get a little hands
Speaker 1: e with Haley with the sunscreen black box Taylors. But
Speaker 1: all the time, yeah, I was going to ask what
Speaker 1: bathing suit requires you to get? I think I think
Speaker 1: there was just like a satire, like they were just
Speaker 1: kind of being funny of the show, you know, because
Speaker 1: it's not the first time they've done that. But I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, he kept saying, oh my gosh, Lord
Speaker 1: help me, oh my gosh, my parents going to kill me,
Speaker 1: while he's like literally rubbing his hands underneath her bathing suit. Mom,
Speaker 1: I'm a really beautiful woman right now, I know literally,
Speaker 1: But I was thinking, I wonder how many, like do
Speaker 1: you have any scenes you regret that or happened where
Speaker 1: you're like, oh my gosh, if my friends see this,
Speaker 1: I mean, we so embarrassed because you've been on But
Speaker 1: never like the sexual scenes like that, like the crying scenes.
Speaker 1: I would like cry on TV and I'd be like,
Speaker 1: my friends are gonna be so much for that, but
Speaker 1: crying now, there's gonna be something better. Is there someone
Speaker 1: where You're like, I really hope this doesn't air um
Speaker 1: in this season? An Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: plenty of things I want this. I know there's one there.
Speaker 1: Do you know? You just know that I'm struggling right
Speaker 1: now now. I just want you to tell me there
Speaker 1: was a scene from Bachelor Winter Games that I'm really
Speaker 1: happy didn't get it. Okay, I would love to know
Speaker 1: more about it. Was there a girl involved? Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: we were hooking up in a place that we shouldn't
Speaker 1: have been hooking up. I'm not going to get into
Speaker 1: much detailed closet. It was, it was dark. There might
Speaker 1: have been people around, indoor outdoor. It was indoor. And
Speaker 1: that's as far as I'm going to say. Were you
Speaker 1: at the top of a mountain skiing? That's not endorsedes it.
Speaker 1: But wait, what was it about? If that was so embarrassing,
Speaker 1: I don't care if it was. It's not that it
Speaker 1: was embarrassing. It she's like, you know, you don't want
Speaker 1: to see yourself like getting super hot, like when you're
Speaker 1: kissing on a date or something. You're kind of like
Speaker 1: contained and you're like, oh, we're just gonna make out.
Speaker 1: But this one was like getting a little bit more
Speaker 1: like past first base in a sense, not like super
Speaker 1: not like hitting a home run or anything that, but
Speaker 1: got things. We're progressing more than just a small little makeout. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're okay, God, I think I could think I understand
Speaker 1: what you're saying. Right. It is maybe some groping involved
Speaker 1: both of your yes, but it's mutual growth, posensual. It's
Speaker 1: very very constentual mutual groping, and they didn't. They like
Speaker 1: tease a part of it in one of the in
Speaker 1: the season premiere preview, but they never actually aired any
Speaker 1: part of it in the show, which I'm pretty grateful for,
Speaker 1: and I think she was grateful for it as well.
Speaker 1: Just you know, we were like it was like a
Speaker 1: couple of days in and we had been drinking a
Speaker 1: little bit and we were like just exploring. I would
Speaker 1: hate to watch myself make out game time footage. It's
Speaker 1: good to kind of watch maybe learn some new but
Speaker 1: that's what technique. That's what was so great about Bachelor
Speaker 1: parodies this time around, because I talked about this before.
Speaker 1: I stayed sober the whole time, and so there's there
Speaker 1: hasn't been much on this season where I'm like, oh, man,
Speaker 1: like I'm kind of hopefully they don't air that because
Speaker 1: I didn't really. Yes, I did dumb things, but I
Speaker 1: didn't do like things out of my own I guess,
Speaker 1: like will or like control. You know, like when you
Speaker 1: get drunk, you make a lot of bad decisions. You
Speaker 1: wake up in the morning and you're like, oh, Aquid courage, right,
Speaker 1: But I'm saying, like you make those mistakes privately, like
Speaker 1: on a Friday night at Bungalow, you wake up Saturday morning,
Speaker 1: you're like a little stressed out. You make those on
Speaker 1: national television and then you wait three months for something
Speaker 1: to air and you're like, holy cow, I really hope
Speaker 1: they don't air this for the entire nation to see.
Speaker 1: It's just a little bit different. So how many girls
Speaker 1: do you think are going to go to Bungalow this
Speaker 1: weekend now? Just hoping to see you there? I have
Speaker 1: been to Bungalow in years and I have no intention
Speaker 1: to go back. Sorry about that? Oh my god? Um?
Speaker 1: What else is it going on? There? Is Kalin and me?
Speaker 1: We talked about that a little bit. Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1: She pulls you aside because she had just spoken to
Speaker 1: Demian Wells, who said, hey, nobody's being able to tie
Speaker 1: him down. Are you sure everything is going as great
Speaker 1: as you think it is? And she says yes, confidently. Yes.
Speaker 1: Wells actually does chime in saying nobody's tied down dean unwranglable. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's correct, he did use that word. And then she
Speaker 1: brings you over to the bed. Were you expecting this
Speaker 1: conversation to happen. I'm going to tell you exactly what
Speaker 1: I was expecting, but before that, we're gonna take a
Speaker 1: quick break. Okay. So Tori's question was, was I expecting
Speaker 1: to have a conversation with Calin when she pulled me
Speaker 1: down to the day bed, And to answer it honestly
Speaker 1: and truthfully, no, I did not expect that because the
Speaker 1: entire time I'm down on the beach shocking and Klin,
Speaker 1: I'm like, look, I don't know if I'm ready for
Speaker 1: a relationship. I don't really. I was like considering not
Speaker 1: even coming here because I'm kind of like anti bachelor
Speaker 1: relationship to begin with. We're hitting it off, we have
Speaker 1: a lot of chemistry, we're having a lot of fun,
Speaker 1: but like, I think it's totally acceptable and responsible of
Speaker 1: you to be guarding your heart from this. I would die.
Speaker 1: And the entire time she's like, yeah, like I get it,
Speaker 1: I get it. Whatever will move slow, We'll figure this out,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah. And then all of a
Speaker 1: sudden she was like, hey, come on, we needn't have
Speaker 1: the serious talk. And I was like, this is so
Speaker 1: out of left fields here, Like I figured we were
Speaker 1: on the same page, like every chance I get to
Speaker 1: remind you, like how hesitant and apprehensive I am to
Speaker 1: jump into a relationship here. And then she pulls me
Speaker 1: down and she goes, well, what are your intentions? And
Speaker 1: I go, what do you mean one of my intentions?
Speaker 1: I've been telling you, like literally every hour on the
Speaker 1: hour since the first time you met, what my attentions are.
Speaker 1: It's basically just to come down, have fun. If something happens, great,
Speaker 1: But at the end of all of this, this Bachelor
Speaker 1: Paradise season, I'm probably not going to leave in a relationship.
Speaker 1: And I told her that multiple times, Like, look, if
Speaker 1: we get to the end of the show, I'm probably
Speaker 1: gonna want to leave single. In some weird way. I
Speaker 1: kind of don't believe you, I'm telling you, because how
Speaker 1: is she so adamant saying we are going to walk away? Possibly,
Speaker 1: like I can see it's walking away in a relationship,
Speaker 1: because she, just like every other girl that I've ever
Speaker 1: dated in my entire life, thinks that they can change
Speaker 1: my mind. But I wouldn't been very confident it going.
Speaker 1: Everything's going great between me and Dean, like you know,
Speaker 1: like she she really doesn't mention once that you're hesitant
Speaker 1: on your end from the editing we see and of course,
Speaker 1: like I said before, there's so much going on at
Speaker 1: all times, they can't air everything. But and I was
Speaker 1: very clear and direct, and she understood it, and she
Speaker 1: still felt like she needs some clarity, and obviously, like
Speaker 1: I did my best to give it to her, it
Speaker 1: was still kind of an awkward conversation, like I'm still
Speaker 1: not telling her the things that she wants to hear,
Speaker 1: but I'm not gonna sit down there on that day
Speaker 1: but and be like, yeah, I could totally see us
Speaker 1: like having a future together. I could totally see us
Speaker 1: doing this, this and this, because that's not necessarily how
Speaker 1: I felt. So why would I sit there and be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I totally believe all this stuff, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So the entire like, and again I think I've been
Speaker 1: vocal about this on the podcast, where I don't know
Speaker 1: if it was necessarily right for me to go down
Speaker 1: on that beach having that mindset where I didn't really
Speaker 1: want to date anyone. I just wanted to go and
Speaker 1: have fun, and then trying off like someone started a
Speaker 1: fault for me. We'll see this all come to a
Speaker 1: dramatic climax on Tuesday's episode, So I think, like maybe
Speaker 1: everything will be answered. But here's where I'm bothered, because
Speaker 1: says like every guy and Daniellee Chiamon if you think
Speaker 1: I'm wrong or right, Guys leave out major details and conversations. Girls,
Speaker 1: we're we do assume, but we're not really quick to assume.
Speaker 1: Like we definitely have conversations, we talk about things, and
Speaker 1: we take it all in. So I don't doubt that
Speaker 1: you said that, but I think also all your actions
Speaker 1: are speaking way louder than your words. So she's like,
Speaker 1: we're obviously doing really great, and then you go and
Speaker 1: give her a birthday surprise with champagne a cake. You
Speaker 1: bring that in. She's telling you, Hey, I just need
Speaker 1: you to tell me, like why are you down on
Speaker 1: this beach And you're telling her, I'm I'm here taking
Speaker 1: it day by day with you. Let's just be present,
Speaker 1: Like you're feeding her so many things that I think
Speaker 1: you aren't owning up to what you were doing with me.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a messed up of you, but
Speaker 1: I think your actions are speaking way louder than your words.
Speaker 1: So either you need to own your actions and accept
Speaker 1: that up being like this doesn't feel comfortable to me
Speaker 1: because I'm I'm somebody who's a free bird and I
Speaker 1: live in a van and I'm happy. But like, you
Speaker 1: got to own up to your actions because obviously your
Speaker 1: brain is way more than like where your heart is, Daniel,
Speaker 1: what do you think? I see where you're coming from, Tori.
Speaker 1: But I'm okay with Dean showing some affection even though
Speaker 1: he's really not sure exactly what's happening. But for real,
Speaker 1: like I I totally feel that way, like no as
Speaker 1: a as a girl, as a check, like I'm like,
Speaker 1: why is Dean doing that? But I understand dean side
Speaker 1: of it, but like this is the classic where Kalin
Speaker 1: can quote unquote look kind of crazy because she's saying
Speaker 1: all these things and now Dean saying he never really
Speaker 1: said anything opposite of that, but his actions were speaking
Speaker 1: so much louder than his words that it's like, now
Speaker 1: she's going to be panned out to be this kind
Speaker 1: of crazy girl who's just obsessed with Dean, and that's
Speaker 1: not the case, Like you were into her, you liked her,
Speaker 1: or like I don't know what's going to happen, but
Speaker 1: like that's so annoying that you're the guy that now
Speaker 1: is like, I'm cool, I'm chill, and I got this
Speaker 1: crazy chick because things I'm into her. And it's like
Speaker 1: that's so annoying, Like you're such the guy that everyone
Speaker 1: is so frustrated by. Dean can't handle how the show's
Speaker 1: edited as long as he is. You can't edit a
Speaker 1: hug and a makeout such that we aren't saying the
Speaker 1: conversations where you're saying, Oh, your intentions and how you're feeling,
Speaker 1: we haven't seen that. But if you're true, if you
Speaker 1: truly did have those conversations with her, I'm okay with it. No,
Speaker 1: it's kind of infuriating to me. See what Daniel is saying,
Speaker 1: and I kind of agree with what Tori saying where
Speaker 1: I actually speak louder than words. Edit out where he
Speaker 1: says I agree, we'll take out the coin. And if
Speaker 1: I'm saying these things, regardless of whether I'm saying them
Speaker 1: and being honest and direct and clear about that, I
Speaker 1: see your point because I'm still acting like I'm interested
Speaker 1: in keeping things going after Paradise. You're saying one thing,
Speaker 1: You're tongue is saying another thing. WHOA But like, yeah,
Speaker 1: is and maybe that's why all of this is coming
Speaker 1: to a head on Tuesday's episode, where maybe we'll have
Speaker 1: it all figured out after this and you give her
Speaker 1: your rose? Like everything about this makes me so frustrated.
Speaker 1: I think you need to be patient and just see
Speaker 1: how it plays. You know, I need to be patient,
Speaker 1: But I'm assuming the situations that happened in the past
Speaker 1: a Bachelor and Paradise. I really don't you could have
Speaker 1: been pulling her aside, just been like, hey, I really
Speaker 1: am all in and I really can't jump to that.
Speaker 1: But that first conversation makes me very wary some of
Speaker 1: what this new conversation is going to be. But it's like,
Speaker 1: of course Dean would do this after he gives her
Speaker 1: the freaking rose. Have I given another rose in this episode? Yes?
Speaker 1: What is your take on Bachelor in Paradise. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of couples forming. I'm starting to make myself look
Speaker 1: like an ale. Are you on my side? Are you
Speaker 1: on Kaylin's side? Do you love John Paul Jones? Do
Speaker 1: you hate Derek? I don't know. Let us hear your thoughts.
Speaker 1: Email us at I suck at Dating at i heeart
Speaker 1: Media dot Com Bachelor in Paradise is only halfway over,
Speaker 1: and I want to hear what you guys, so email us.
Speaker 1: I suck at dating at i heeart media dot com.
Speaker 1: I'm where Kaylin's at. You're like, hey, I needed, I
Speaker 1: need to talk to you, and literally the whole room
Speaker 1: like kind of stops and just like stares as you
Speaker 1: and Klin walked down, and she's like, Dean, don't do this. Dean,
Speaker 1: are you serious? Do you really want to have a
Speaker 1: conversation right now? Dan just telling what's going on? And
Speaker 1: You're like, let's just go sit back up the you know,
Speaker 1: let's just go chill. And I'm like, I can't tell
Speaker 1: if I trust Dean's actions right now. For I'm trusting
Speaker 1: Kaylyn's emotional state right now, Like I don't know what
Speaker 1: side to be on, but I'm just I'm annoyed. I
Speaker 1: can see that. I'm annoyed. I can really see that,
Speaker 1: and you're making her out to look a little crazy. Um.
Speaker 1: I think that you will gain some clarity on the
Speaker 1: situation on tomorrow's episode. On Tuesday's night episode after or
Speaker 1: before christ and Crystal's wedding. Um, I don't even seen
Speaker 1: it yet, but I think that will help, and it
Speaker 1: does look like there's a lot of drama at the wedding,
Speaker 1: but generally speaking, taking it out of the Bachelor Paradise world,
Speaker 1: it's not great when a guy is like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm just playing a cool and putting it that by
Speaker 1: day and then he comes over and mix out with
Speaker 1: you and takes about all the time, it sleeps over
Speaker 1: and whatever. Do you feel cheap? That's the that's the
Speaker 1: tough thing is is you shouldn't go to Bachelor in
Speaker 1: Paradise not trying to leave in a relationship. He's taking
Speaker 1: it outside of the Bachelor realm. I was, but I
Speaker 1: see your point too. I was taking it away from Bache.
Speaker 1: They're just saying there are a lot of guys like
Speaker 1: that that are just going to take as much as
Speaker 1: they can get from you, as long as you're willing
Speaker 1: to give it, because they can always cover themselves saying
Speaker 1: like hey, I said from the beginning, I don't want
Speaker 1: a relationship. Yeah, we were sleeping together for six months up. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I told you you know. And it's just kind of
Speaker 1: a dick move, uh, I agree, A big dick move.
Speaker 1: Not saying you're doing that exactly. We'll find out tomorrow
Speaker 1: night more more of a little dick move. I guess
Speaker 1: it really depends on your interpretation of what the dick
Speaker 1: move is. Um, but yes, I agree with everything as
Speaker 1: you're saying. I think that it's probably the reason that
Speaker 1: this podcast even exists. I suck at dating. I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing ever, honestly, Like I can't explain
Speaker 1: to you when I was watching that show. It's hard
Speaker 1: to it's hard to in this instance, specifically, it's hard
Speaker 1: to firmly believe something. In this case, me firmly believing
Speaker 1: I'm better off alone. But then you meet someone that
Speaker 1: you have like an instant chemistry with, and you're like
Speaker 1: fighting your original belief that you want to be alone,
Speaker 1: you want to be single, And then you meet someone
Speaker 1: and like things are going well, there isn't really any
Speaker 1: reason for you to end anything Like That's kind of
Speaker 1: I think where all these tricky situations come from. Where
Speaker 1: you get caught up on this mindset like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: stay single, but then you meet someone, things go well,
Speaker 1: they go well, they go well. Eventually gets to a
Speaker 1: point where nothing really has ever gone wrong, but you
Speaker 1: still don't want to have a relationship and so like
Speaker 1: you don't really have a reason to be like okay, like,
Speaker 1: obviously we should stop this, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Do you like the attention you get from being self deprecating?
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can say that I like it.
Speaker 1: What do you mean, Well, you really own that title
Speaker 1: with pride, which is fine. You're like, yeah, Dylan and
Speaker 1: I were both very self deprecating people. Do you enjoy
Speaker 1: the pension that brings where the girl is going to
Speaker 1: have to be like, no, I want to fix you
Speaker 1: and you're like I can't be fixed. And then she's
Speaker 1: like okay, but I want to fight for you, and
Speaker 1: you're like, I'm not worth fighting over. Like do you
Speaker 1: enjoy that attention to somewhat level? And I need Honestly,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of psychological issues that I have. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying no, I need it, yes or no. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't think you do. I don't enjoy
Speaker 1: the attention. No, I don't think you do. That's not
Speaker 1: the purpose of being self deprecating, but I think that
Speaker 1: you get a little bit of like I love that
Speaker 1: somebody really wants to help fill that void or that
Speaker 1: that feeling that I have where I do long for someone,
Speaker 1: but no one can fix that. No one can be
Speaker 1: that ultimate void or fill that void. So you almost
Speaker 1: like the fact that somebody really cares about you that
Speaker 1: much to be like, I'm still here next to you.
Speaker 1: I think that I need someone to not care about
Speaker 1: me at all in order for me to be really
Speaker 1: interested in that. From this, when you say I'm not
Speaker 1: worth fighting for, I do think you believe that. Sadly,
Speaker 1: I do think you believe that. I don't think you're
Speaker 1: just saying that to be self deprecating or to get
Speaker 1: sympathy or attention. I think you actually believe that, which
Speaker 1: makes me sad. Yeah, I mean, I look. But on
Speaker 1: the other hand, what's Camele's supposed to think like this
Speaker 1: is this is the path that people go on. They
Speaker 1: have a chemistry, they kiss, they spend time together, they laugh,
Speaker 1: they have a great time. That is that usually is
Speaker 1: a road to a certain destination, and you're removing that destination.
Speaker 1: It's hard, It's never it's never black and white, right,
Speaker 1: There's not ever one path that gets you to a
Speaker 1: specific destination, as you're saying, But with you, you're not.
Speaker 1: I think most people in America are either on the
Speaker 1: path or consider themselves on the path that I am
Speaker 1: single and then I will meet someone and I will
Speaker 1: date them, and then when will get married, and then
Speaker 1: we'll have babies, and that's kind of the path, and
Speaker 1: you're not on that path. My path is I don't
Speaker 1: want to date anyone. I don't want to get married.
Speaker 1: I don't want to have babies, And so that way,
Speaker 1: when I do date someone, I do get married, I
Speaker 1: do have babies, I'll know that it was like against
Speaker 1: my will, which makes it probably more perfect. So you're
Speaker 1: not even the guy who's like I could have kids
Speaker 1: before marriage or what. Like. You know how some people
Speaker 1: are like, oh, I really want to get married, but
Speaker 1: they could see themselves having kids there like I would
Speaker 1: love to be a dad someday, but don't really see
Speaker 1: marriage I was in my picture. I would have to
Speaker 1: be in like a committed relationship. I don't have to
Speaker 1: be married. I see what you're saying, But if I
Speaker 1: were to have kids, I would prefer to be married.
Speaker 1: I think I don't know, is that what you're asking
Speaker 1: kind of I'm just saying. I mean, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of people at a meeting now where they're like, I
Speaker 1: don't really want the whole commitment of husband and wife
Speaker 1: to determine whether I need to be a dad or not.
Speaker 1: So I like, I love kids, I would love to
Speaker 1: have kids. I think I'm gonna make a great dad,
Speaker 1: But then I don't need marriage for that. I don't
Speaker 1: think it's a commitment thing. It's just more of like
Speaker 1: a government. It's always one layer deeper. So you're saying, well,
Speaker 1: you just said a minute ago is interesting to me.
Speaker 1: So you're saying that if you do get married one day,
Speaker 1: it will be against your will. But therefore that means
Speaker 1: she meant that much to you, that she was powerful
Speaker 1: enough to conquer all of your previous plans of not
Speaker 1: getting married to having babies. I've been vocal about this before,
Speaker 1: especially as it pertains to bachelor relationships. People go on
Speaker 1: a bachelor in paradise, specifically where they go regardless of
Speaker 1: what happens, I'm coming out of this. In a relationship,
Speaker 1: if you go down onto the beach thinking that thing,
Speaker 1: or if you go to the bar thinking I'm gonna
Speaker 1: beet my boyfriend tonight, you're not gonna You're gonna see
Speaker 1: it through those rose clud lenses. You're not gonna look
Speaker 1: at it as I'm going to find the person that's
Speaker 1: right for me. You're looking at us. I'm going to
Speaker 1: find the relationship that I want. You know what I mean? Yes,
Speaker 1: you're you're casting a role exactly, and so because of that,
Speaker 1: like you're limiting yourself and pursuing something rather than pursuing someone,
Speaker 1: I think in a situation like that, And it's actually
Speaker 1: something very romantic about what he's saying right now, Thanks Mark,
Speaker 1: He's saying he's I'm not getting married period. So if
Speaker 1: there's a woman that comes along and blows his mind
Speaker 1: to the degree that he wants to marry her, wow,
Speaker 1: like she is really something special. I hope we all
Speaker 1: like her. That's kind of sweet. I mean the same
Speaker 1: it could be or who knows? Story for us? Right? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I need I need help. Okay, we're gonna get into
Speaker 1: the issues of your dating life, but before we do that,
Speaker 1: we're gonna take one quick break and I want to
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Speaker 1: your life. Okay, Tori, you are an active dat or
Speaker 1: you're single. You're beautiful, you're catch, You're a catch, You're smart,
Speaker 1: you're funny, sometimes you are interesting. I think Tori is
Speaker 1: a catch. I think that's true. Oh my gosh, all
Speaker 1: of these things are true. You're going on dates and
Speaker 1: you have fun stories to share with us. Let's hear
Speaker 1: the story. Let's hear the limit that your and right now.
Speaker 1: So I kind of mentioned it on last week's podcast
Speaker 1: that I'm dating somebody long distance. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I could really do say we were dating. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Do you guys say dating just happens when you're just
Speaker 1: talking to someone that's dating? I think, yeah, can I
Speaker 1: say that sting not exclusive? It's not boyfriend girlfriend dating? Okay,
Speaker 1: So I guess I'm dating this guy, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: stay talking what was the issue last week, because I
Speaker 1: don't think Dean was here for that. So basically I
Speaker 1: was saying how we are way more having to be
Speaker 1: invested in our phones to date each other, and that
Speaker 1: stresses me out because he's not the best texter, which
Speaker 1: I usually would find attractive if we lived in the
Speaker 1: same city, because and I'd be like, oh, that's fine,
Speaker 1: just come hang out with me. I don't really like
Speaker 1: texting either, huge facetimer, so that does work in this favor. Um,
Speaker 1: But now the texting I have to read into every
Speaker 1: freaking text message and it is so confusing, just like
Speaker 1: why the period or why did you take two hours
Speaker 1: to respond? If he sends something two hours? Should I?
Speaker 1: Should I? This isn't actually a great question for guys
Speaker 1: when you send a text to a girl, let's say
Speaker 1: an hour after and then doesn't make a difference if
Speaker 1: a girl holds out on responding a little while after two. Um.
Speaker 1: I did this when I was nineteen. I was really
Speaker 1: interested in the girl. We started talking texting. I went
Speaker 1: back for winter break, she went back to her hometown
Speaker 1: for winter break, and she would text me like three
Speaker 1: hours after, and so I would set an alarm for
Speaker 1: three hours from that text then text your back. You're kidding.
Speaker 1: I was nineteen, Tori. Okay. The point is we are
Speaker 1: all adults now and we shouldn't be doing this anymore.
Speaker 1: The fact that you set an alarm is so petty.
Speaker 1: I will say this, it worked. We dated for a
Speaker 1: year and a half your boyfriend girlfriend, so I'm not
Speaker 1: but they had actually come to find out maybe like
Speaker 1: three months into our relationship. She would say things like, dude,
Speaker 1: I was so piste off at you, like when we
Speaker 1: first started talking to each other. You would text me
Speaker 1: back like seven hours later, and I hated it. And
Speaker 1: I had to fight every instinct to out talking to
Speaker 1: you because I didn't want to talk to you anymore,
Speaker 1: you know. But I was doing it as a because
Speaker 1: I was over analyzing these texts and I was saying, oh,
Speaker 1: she hasn't texted me in four hours. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: text her back for four hours. Or she sent two
Speaker 1: lines of text, I'm going to send two lines of text.
Speaker 1: She had ellipses at the end of her statement. I'm
Speaker 1: going to have three exclamation points in the end of
Speaker 1: my statement. That's what I'm saying I was nineteen. We're not.
Speaker 1: We're not nineteen anymore. We're past these games, but we're
Speaker 1: not that this over analysis still goes on on a
Speaker 1: daily basis. But it shouldn't. But it shouldn't. I I
Speaker 1: do think it's a bad sign, Like I don't look.
Speaker 1: Some people are more attached to their phones than others,
Speaker 1: but um, you know, I consider myself a busy guy.
Speaker 1: I got two kids, wife, job. I get back to
Speaker 1: you pretty quickly when you text me, don't you actually
Speaker 1: really do? So he saw the text when it came in.
Speaker 1: That's what bothers me about it. I'm quite confident he
Speaker 1: saw it. He could be so I'm when I was
Speaker 1: at U c l A. Playing sports, you would be
Speaker 1: in like game film time or whatever, watching film and
Speaker 1: you'd be secretly texting. But like you how to really
Speaker 1: be like quiet about it? Like I do? Get Okay. So, basically,
Speaker 1: he's an athlete, so I have to bide by his
Speaker 1: schedule way more than he has to bide by mine,
Speaker 1: which I'm fine with. So basically he's out of practice
Speaker 1: around like let's say eight, so that'd be six my time,
Speaker 1: and then he goes to bed by tent so we
Speaker 1: have like two hours to talk, so I don't know
Speaker 1: what he's doing in those two hours. I don't know
Speaker 1: if he's really that done. I don't know if he's
Speaker 1: just watching film. I don't really know the status. So
Speaker 1: I give I really extend grace on texting people back
Speaker 1: slowly because I do know life's crazy. I just do
Speaker 1: I need this is part one. Do I need to
Speaker 1: respond when he responds? Or do I actually give it
Speaker 1: time to kind of create more of a chase or
Speaker 1: more of a what's happening? Or should ignore some of
Speaker 1: his text don't play games, don't wait intentionally to like
Speaker 1: do the same thing he's doing. Definitely don't do this.
Speaker 1: Never ever call him out for taking so long to
Speaker 1: text you back. Never do that. So that's what I
Speaker 1: said on the last podcast. I was like, it's hard
Speaker 1: that I can't express like, hey, it sucks that like
Speaker 1: you respond so slowly when we only have two hours
Speaker 1: to talk. It's not going to improve anything. No, it's
Speaker 1: not gonna make anything better. If you call him out
Speaker 1: and say, hey, I don't like that you don't text
Speaker 1: me back right away, it's, if anything, it's only gonna
Speaker 1: make it worse. It's going to push him further away,
Speaker 1: at least in my case, like if someone people do
Speaker 1: say that to me, Like I have close friends who
Speaker 1: sometimes say, like, why don't you text me back quicker?
Speaker 1: Why don't you do this? And all it does is
Speaker 1: like aggravate me to the point where I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: doing the best I can here. I'm texting you back
Speaker 1: when I can text you back, when I like find
Speaker 1: time to text you back, either mentally, physically, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: like saying preoccupied, whatever you like, kind of nagging me
Speaker 1: and like like scaring me into texting you back faster.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna make it's not gonna make anything better.
Speaker 1: But is that a sign that maybe it's just not
Speaker 1: the person you want to respond if you consider it
Speaker 1: as nagging, kind of give him the benefit a little
Speaker 1: bit if he's an athlete, because that that does change things.
Speaker 1: Obviously he's on the field, he can't respond to you,
Speaker 1: and he probably isn't seeing it. So I mean, I
Speaker 1: think it might take back what I said about him
Speaker 1: seeing in the text when it came in. It would
Speaker 1: be nice if you did something like sorry, just got
Speaker 1: out of the shower or something like that would be great.
Speaker 1: I agree, and that's kind of the happy medium I
Speaker 1: think we're looking for. It would be the happy medium.
Speaker 1: And I he's the first to text me all the time,
Speaker 1: not all the time, but like enough where we're still
Speaker 1: keeping conversation going. I've very rarely ever shoot a text first.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, Do you need him to
Speaker 1: text you back faster? Do I need a man? No,
Speaker 1: like you want a man. That's my point is you
Speaker 1: don't need him to text you back faster, So why
Speaker 1: are you putting such an emphasis on wanting him to
Speaker 1: text you back faster? I think kind of resting in
Speaker 1: the unknown for because I've been realizing we've talked for
Speaker 1: almost like two months now, and being in the unknown
Speaker 1: for two months is kind of brutal. You're not like, okay,
Speaker 1: we don't he has a game out here in November,
Speaker 1: like I'll see him then. But it's really hard to
Speaker 1: not feel special during those times avoiding. I think it
Speaker 1: would be a mistake for you to put all your
Speaker 1: eggs in this basket. Personally, I don't oppose that either.
Speaker 1: I think that you shouldn't um This goes back to
Speaker 1: kind of what we're talking about earlier. You shouldn't like
Speaker 1: try to force something to come of this. If something
Speaker 1: comes of it, awesome, but if nothing does, that's perfectly
Speaker 1: fun because you're just gonna be able to move on anyways. Like,
Speaker 1: don't try and for something that isn't there. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: still dating other people, so I'm not like you want
Speaker 1: someone who makes you feel like you are their number
Speaker 1: one priority and a professional athlete. They may not even
Speaker 1: be possible. And I do accept that. I am fine
Speaker 1: being you're like number three, your number four, your number five.
Speaker 1: I actually don't mind that because I understand that lifestyle
Speaker 1: where you're like my coach death like technically kind of
Speaker 1: goes first. You have to report to the coach first,
Speaker 1: and then you know, like your family depending on where
Speaker 1: you are and your two I think behind, well, if
Speaker 1: she's like his wife or something, maybe, but maybe that's true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta be for wife status for that, like your
Speaker 1: family should go before you might be seeing other people
Speaker 1: as well. I don't think so. I'm okay. I just
Speaker 1: think like this kid literally has no time as of
Speaker 1: right now certain camp, But I wouldn't mind if he's
Speaker 1: dating other people. I really wouldn't. That doesn't make me.
Speaker 1: What is it about this guy that you like so
Speaker 1: much more than the other people that you're dating. I
Speaker 1: like that is like confidence, like he can command a room.
Speaker 1: If we were going back to the beginning, you probably
Speaker 1: like that he's less available than the other guys that
Speaker 1: you're dating. Maybe, and I do agree with that, But
Speaker 1: my work's not super I don't really have a lot
Speaker 1: of time in my day either to be like, let's
Speaker 1: go do this, or we can take a weekend off,
Speaker 1: like I have to send work on Sundays. But you're
Speaker 1: taking the one that's hard to reach and get a
Speaker 1: hold of, and now someone is more difficult than you
Speaker 1: are in that sense, and you find it attractive definitely. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well okay, but here's my main question. Okay, so going
Speaker 1: back to texting, So again I don't really text him
Speaker 1: first ever. But he had a game, so I said,
Speaker 1: I'll be sweet. Then I realized I sent it in
Speaker 1: there three hours ahead for this game, so he was
Speaker 1: on the field by the time you got this. The
Speaker 1: loss could be in my bad luck for him not
Speaker 1: seeing this. So I said, good luck on your game.
Speaker 1: A heart emoji. Good luck on your game is kind
Speaker 1: of a cute, girly co heart is not how people
Speaker 1: talk right, Um, it was a purple heart emoji. Hey,
Speaker 1: that's my favorite color. Well, I always go purple heart too,
Speaker 1: it's my favorite color. Do you think that there's different
Speaker 1: interpretations between the yellow, the blue, the purple, the red?
Speaker 1: I do? I think that a red heart is pretty
Speaker 1: like pretty lazy, just like a friendly like heart. Here's
Speaker 1: a heart. You know you think red is friendly. I
Speaker 1: think it's just like the squinted, like this most commonly
Speaker 1: accepted heart color, and so I think it's like love, passion, overstepping.
Speaker 1: It's just it's the color that you associate with hearts,
Speaker 1: and because of that, it has not as much meaning
Speaker 1: as the others. A personalized heart. You went out of
Speaker 1: your way to choose a different color heart besides the
Speaker 1: red one, like I always send purple hearts because purple
Speaker 1: is my color. You know what I mean? If you
Speaker 1: send a color heart that's different than the red one,
Speaker 1: that means that you're going the extra mile to share
Speaker 1: a little bit more about yourself than just a red heart. See,
Speaker 1: I think of like flowers when I think of of U.
Speaker 1: The emojis like yellow's friendly, reds passionate, like you bring
Speaker 1: yellow flowers to your grandmother sure you'd bring red to
Speaker 1: your girlfriend, so you chose purple to kind of de
Speaker 1: romanticize it a bit, yes, but apparently in a more
Speaker 1: romantic I think I didn't send this to you. Okay.
Speaker 1: So then Friday at twelve am, so to his time,
Speaker 1: twelve my time. I haven't heard from him many hours
Speaker 1: because thanks, we lost, I didn't play. We just landed
Speaker 1: and got cell service again. Okay, lots of periods. Thanks
Speaker 1: we lost. Period. We didn't play period, We just landed
Speaker 1: and got cell service again. I panicked. I didn't respond.
Speaker 1: Was that rong? Do you think he's mad? I just
Speaker 1: felt like I didn't really know. Well, first of all,
Speaker 1: it is hard when somebody doesn't say like thanks for
Speaker 1: reaching out or something at the end to make you
Speaker 1: feel like, Okay, you want to engage in this conversation.
Speaker 1: I don't like this. I think that you're an athlete. Obviously,
Speaker 1: he played at u C l A. He is trying
Speaker 1: to make an NFL roster. He didn't play in the
Speaker 1: game in a game that's pretty like crucial for him
Speaker 1: to be able to make that roster season. It's actually
Speaker 1: really not He's not guaranteed. No one's ever guaranteed a
Speaker 1: roster spot in the NFL, and especially this guy, Like
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's definitely on the roster. I don't. I
Speaker 1: would not say definitely. No, he definitely is not playing
Speaker 1: in the third preseason game of the NFL season. It's
Speaker 1: the most important game of the season, is right now,
Speaker 1: I get these grumpy that he didn't play in the
Speaker 1: third game of the preseason. He's upset, like he I'm
Speaker 1: not saying, like it's your responsibility to console him, but
Speaker 1: you also shouldn't expect him to like have all these
Speaker 1: lovey dovey like open mind, like not open minded, but
Speaker 1: like these long drawn out responses because he lost the game.
Speaker 1: He didn't play in the game. That's kind of important
Speaker 1: for him to be able to make that roster like definitively,
Speaker 1: and he's just upset, Like I don't. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's your starters playing in the third game. So what
Speaker 1: should I have responded? Or am I reading into the
Speaker 1: text wrong? Like I think that was something of like
Speaker 1: here's your facts. I do think it was nice that
Speaker 1: he's like, sorry, just got service back from the plane,
Speaker 1: Like I get that, but it wasn't thanks for wishing
Speaker 1: me good luck. He's just grumpy. It wasn't you. He's
Speaker 1: just grumpy. He's I don't think he's gonna go out
Speaker 1: of his way to carry on a conversation when he's
Speaker 1: in a headspace where he's disappointed and thinking how tired
Speaker 1: he is after a game. Well, he didn't play in
Speaker 1: the game. That's time. I really think that's what it is.
Speaker 1: He's like, he's really disappointed in the fact that he
Speaker 1: didn't get to play, that they lost the game, and
Speaker 1: it's like, maybe he doesn't want to talk, like you
Speaker 1: get in those modes where you dont want to talk
Speaker 1: to anyone. That's honestly what I interpreted it as. So
Speaker 1: we all interpreted the same way, saying that he was grumby,
Speaker 1: and I really shouldn't have responded. You definitely should have responded.
Speaker 1: I definitely should have responded. I thought about maybe like
Speaker 1: liking it as a message you don't want to You
Speaker 1: don't want to fight his shortness with your own shortness.
Speaker 1: You also don't want to fight the more openness. Just
Speaker 1: be like, like that sucks. I'm sorry you guys lost.
Speaker 1: I hope you gotta get some more playing time next week.
Speaker 1: Like you guys are gonna kill it. Like something like that.
Speaker 1: I don't know why that seems so bad to me.
Speaker 1: Like when I hear that, I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 1: why it does either, because it sounds perfect to me,
Speaker 1: because I think maybe I've I've been in this scenario
Speaker 1: where you know you got it, next time you'll get it,
Speaker 1: and you're like no, Like the reality is like I'm
Speaker 1: not playing well and I don't need you to blow
Speaker 1: air up my bum to make me feel better. So
Speaker 1: then asking me like, what's the deal? Why didn't you play?
Speaker 1: Why did you guys lose? Like asking those questions that
Speaker 1: seems more gnarly. I don't know what my happy medium is,
Speaker 1: but I'm really I'm struggling with this whole because also
Speaker 1: that's like his career. So I can't just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're fine, because I know he's not. Maybe but I
Speaker 1: do know he's fine, but I asked him to open
Speaker 1: up about it, maybe be like why didn't why do
Speaker 1: you think you didn't get a play today or something
Speaker 1: like that. I don't know. I think that. So it's
Speaker 1: been like forty eight hours, so I don't think I
Speaker 1: can respond, right. I think that you made the mistake
Speaker 1: by not responding I'm going to go out on a
Speaker 1: limb and say that you messed up. I messed up, okay,
Speaker 1: but you can still recover. Of course, how can I recover?
Speaker 1: I was just gonna wait until he responds back, even
Speaker 1: text him now and be like, hey, look, I'm hey,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about you in a podcast even that, but
Speaker 1: just be like, I hope they I hope things. I
Speaker 1: hope you're feeling better since the last time we spoke, Like,
Speaker 1: how are things going now? Like something like that, like simple,
Speaker 1: just oh I actually kind of like that. Thanks, Wow,
Speaker 1: that was actually really good. I'm lukewarm on it. Okay, wait, okay,
Speaker 1: this is good. This is a good kicking. Tell me, no,
Speaker 1: I just I don't love I don't think you refer
Speaker 1: back to that night at all. I don't want to
Speaker 1: with so sharn't anything with that night. If it's new,
Speaker 1: it's just gonna be how's your day going? Have you
Speaker 1: seen this? Oh my gosh, I'm watching disagree. If they're
Speaker 1: gonna brush over it, what is that going to be
Speaker 1: indicative of their forever relationship? Oh? Hey, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: disappointed a couple of times. But just so you know,
Speaker 1: ignore everything that I do and say during those times,
Speaker 1: no like ask him to open up about your mr
Speaker 1: chance to ask him to open up about it. He's
Speaker 1: not even thinking about that anymore. That's three days later.
Speaker 1: You don't want to take him back to that dark place.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be a call to action in this next
Speaker 1: text that you sent to him, right, there's gonna because
Speaker 1: you want a response, You want to invoke a response.
Speaker 1: The response isn't going to be about that last interaction
Speaker 1: about the game, about his lack of playing time. Just say, hey,
Speaker 1: I hope things have gotten better. By the way, how
Speaker 1: are you like? What are you doing this week? Is
Speaker 1: The response is going to be about what he's doing
Speaker 1: now and how he's doing now, not about how disappointed
Speaker 1: he was twenty hours ago. Just acknowledge the fact that
Speaker 1: he was disappointed. You don't know that for sure. We're
Speaker 1: you're reading into his text, which is going to annoy him.
Speaker 1: Acknowledge the fact that he maybe wasn't the happiest person
Speaker 1: in the world by just saying something like hopefully team
Speaker 1: rallis higher, I don't know, something lies. There needs to
Speaker 1: be some sort of you wouldn't like somebody reading into
Speaker 1: your tech. There needs to be some sort of address
Speaker 1: to that. We don't know that he was, assuming he
Speaker 1: didn't he was grumpy. It might have been fine, you're
Speaker 1: building a bridge. You can't stop building a bridge here
Speaker 1: and then just go onto the next pillar without building
Speaker 1: a road across at first. We got to get from
Speaker 1: here to there somehow. Okay, fine, but I don't think
Speaker 1: you acknowledge his grumpyiness, which is a ledge. Don't say hey,
Speaker 1: I know you're grumpy. How are you now? But you
Speaker 1: can't say hey, I hope you're feeling better. That's a
Speaker 1: good point because then I'm assuming did you watch the game?
Speaker 1: I couldn't because it's preseason, right and they don't air it.
Speaker 1: They don't air. Maybe look at pilots and be like, damn,
Speaker 1: number ninety four sucks. You would have done a way
Speaker 1: better than By the way, what's going on? I feel
Speaker 1: way less great about this because I don't. Also, it
Speaker 1: is an ego thing on my behalf. I don't really
Speaker 1: want to be the person who's texted you twice, but
Speaker 1: he texted you back last you didn't responded to it.
Speaker 1: You left him now, he's not going to tex he
Speaker 1: didn't engage in. Hopefully your and I went better or
Speaker 1: waiting for him to detect you. No, No, I just
Speaker 1: wanted to get somebody who's on my side. But there's nothing.
Speaker 1: There's nothing urgent happening here. Do you want to talk
Speaker 1: to him? Like? Do you want to know how he's doing?
Speaker 1: Are you interested in? What? Like what his days looking like?
Speaker 1: I don't know why I'm getting so stressed out about
Speaker 1: like talking to him. So sometimes I'm like, yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 1: I could see myself just like moving on. But then
Speaker 1: I also think that's just like my ego and then
Speaker 1: like the pride thing of letting down walls actually admitting
Speaker 1: to having like somewhat feelings attached to that. I don't
Speaker 1: want to be a jerk and repeat myself, but I'm
Speaker 1: going to be a jerking repeat myself. Do you want
Speaker 1: to know how his days are going? Yeah? Are you interested?
Speaker 1: So then text him and say how's your day going?
Speaker 1: But I've gone two days without knowing how his days going,
Speaker 1: So I'm kind of like I get team Mark where
Speaker 1: he says Monday, be like, hey, I hope you had
Speaker 1: a great weekend, but he didn't have great. Well, I
Speaker 1: don't know if that was Friday night, right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he might have had a great weekend. I hope you
Speaker 1: had a good weekend in Cleveland. Want to watch barcelon
Speaker 1: Paradise together on Fairtime tonight. What do you guys think
Speaker 1: of this situation? If you guys want to weigh in,
Speaker 1: give us an email. I suck at Dating at i
Speaker 1: heeart media dot com. Are you team Dean? Are you
Speaker 1: team Tory? Team Mark Easton hasn't said much? Are you
Speaker 1: his side? You just want to sit back, relax and
Speaker 1: not say anything. You want to hear your thoughts? Email
Speaker 1: us I suck it Dating at ihart media dot com.
Speaker 1: Do we want to do one listening email? I do
Speaker 1: have one from Madison here. I've been dating a guy
Speaker 1: for three months and we hadn't yet defined it, but
Speaker 1: knew we were taking it slow and headed toward a relationship.
Speaker 1: This is very actually, it is exactly what we've been
Speaker 1: talking about. Last week, however, we talked and he said
Speaker 1: that he feels something might be missing for us to
Speaker 1: take that step to DTR to find the relationship, and
Speaker 1: he wants to take a break. I was devastated. His
Speaker 1: reasoning is sometimes he doesn't appreciate something until it's gone.
Speaker 1: What are your opinions on taking a break. Uh, probably
Speaker 1: not a good sign. No, I think this is this
Speaker 1: is he's not into this. I'm sorry, Madison, he's not
Speaker 1: feeling this. He can't say when you try to find
Speaker 1: the relationship and he says, yeah, let's define it as
Speaker 1: us not being together because I don't appreciate things until
Speaker 1: they're gone. That's a cop out in a big way.
Speaker 1: He's probably he's talking to someone else. He wants to
Speaker 1: feel no guilt about that. He wants to see if
Speaker 1: that can progress and escalate faster than what they're doing.
Speaker 1: He yeah, that's appreciative thing to be doing. You don't
Speaker 1: take a break after three months. I rarely relate to
Speaker 1: this guy. I kind of get it. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think it's selfish to say, hey, I only miss something
Speaker 1: when it's gone. But sometimes you really need to be like,
Speaker 1: I need to take a step away from this and
Speaker 1: see if this is something that I do. I still
Speaker 1: think about you. Do I still want to hear about
Speaker 1: your day and text you about that. Do I still
Speaker 1: want to be engaged? Sometimes you take a step back.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I agree with Mark. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's necessarily a good sign for Madison. Here. You might
Speaker 1: as well take the step back now before you're a
Speaker 1: year in and he needs a break, I think you
Speaker 1: move on. If this guy comes a call in a
Speaker 1: month from now, It's like, if you still a bunch,
Speaker 1: you can evaluate at that point. But I think mentally
Speaker 1: you need to be done with this. Yeah, how long
Speaker 1: would you, guys say a break can last up until
Speaker 1: before expiring? Two weeks I'll go with that. No more
Speaker 1: than a month, I'd say a month. Max Easton has
Speaker 1: been quiet all episode. The two weeks. Yeah, sure, so
Speaker 1: it's two weeks. Are you a lot of date people
Speaker 1: in between breaks? Well, so that's what I was gonna
Speaker 1: say from Madison, take the take. Obviously, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: fight for this. If he wants to take a break,
Speaker 1: don't like be like no, no, no, Like let's say together,
Speaker 1: take the break. Don't focus on him and his in
Speaker 1: your relationship with him, date other people, because he's going
Speaker 1: to use this time to actually like decide for yourself
Speaker 1: even if he's worth staying around date and continuing the date.
Speaker 1: In my opinion, um, it sucks, she said she was devastated.
Speaker 1: But yeah, like three months is a long time if
Speaker 1: you have gotten to the three month market ninety days
Speaker 1: and you still are like uncertain and do you want
Speaker 1: to take a break? It's because you want to explore
Speaker 1: other options. I mean three months a good time to
Speaker 1: evaluate things. It's a good little you know, three once
Speaker 1: at the time right where you're saying either we're gonna
Speaker 1: not continue dating or we're gonna become boyfriend girlfriend. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree with that, But what does it break mean?
Speaker 1: I think a break is thinking I've spent a lot
Speaker 1: of time with you. Do I want to keep spending
Speaker 1: time with you? And if he's not sure, that's not
Speaker 1: a good sign. Advice for Madison, take the break, don't
Speaker 1: fight it, go on dates with other people. If you
Speaker 1: continue to think about him, maybe let him know that,
Speaker 1: maybe he'll continue to think about you too, and maybe
Speaker 1: guys can come back together. I would not put I
Speaker 1: would not bet on that happening, um, but I would
Speaker 1: encourage you to do other people. Hey, how would you
Speaker 1: like to meet Dean at a baseball game in San Francisco? Whoever?
Speaker 1: Want to do that? Better dream of yours since you
Speaker 1: were a little girl. Well, the Giants are playing the
Speaker 1: pod Rays on August twenty nine. That's this Wednesday, Thay
Speaker 1: th that's this Thursday, everybody. He's gonna be there along
Speaker 1: with Vanessa Hey and Becca Antonio scrubbing in with Becca Antonio,
Speaker 1: my favorite girls. That's right. The meet and greets happening
Speaker 1: at Oracle Park in San Franciso, Go. But you need
Speaker 1: to ticket to the game in order to get to
Speaker 1: the where the meet and greet is happening at the
Speaker 1: Alaska Airlines Club level and the flight deck and it's
Speaker 1: in left field. Anyway, it's five thirty on Thursday. This
Speaker 1: is not an official Giants events, so game tickets don't
Speaker 1: include a giveaway item or food beverage. I don't know
Speaker 1: that's a disclaimer. I guess. Okay, your tickets at Group
Speaker 1: Maddics dot Events slash Scrubbing. H Okay, this isn't Group
Speaker 1: Maddics dot Events slash scrubbing, and you can get the
Speaker 1: baseball ticket and meet Dean Antonia. You spell Group Maddics
Speaker 1: Fair listeners g R O U P as a group
Speaker 1: right there and then M A T I C S
Speaker 1: Group Maddics Dot Events slash Scrubbing, watch baseball, enjoy Becca, Tania,
Speaker 1: Dean and Vanessa. I'll probably put a swipe up on
Speaker 1: my Instagram story to make it a little a little
Speaker 1: bit easier. Group maddics is a weird website, but but
Speaker 1: I've been to it and it's fantastic. It'll get you
Speaker 1: exactly what you're looking for. What are gonna Are you
Speaker 1: gonna wear your Angel's jersey with ungler down the back
Speaker 1: of it? I don't think I'm allowed to. What are
Speaker 1: they playing? They're playing the Potteries, but they're nationally gaged
Speaker 1: with the American League. You're fine. Probably were like a
Speaker 1: Broncos jersey or something that's even weirder. I think, actually,
Speaker 1: I do have a Giant jersey, so yeah, because we're there,
Speaker 1: I'll probably wear the Giants jersey. That's a good best
Speaker 1: friend as a Giants fan, so he's like giving ungler
Speaker 1: on the back of it. It does not I think
Speaker 1: it's actually playerless. It's just as one of those generic
Speaker 1: like it'll stand the test of time. I respect it. Yeah, good,
Speaker 1: are you on? Mark? I'm not going a couple of reasons.
Speaker 1: The main reason is I was not invited. Also, uh,
Speaker 1: this weekend, Labor Day weekend, going out of time with
Speaker 1: my family, no one asked me to go to San Francisco. Nice. Well,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be missed. Your president will be missed. I
Speaker 1: would love to go. It sounds awesome. Actually you're going, yes, great.
Speaker 1: So if you're listening to this and you see Tori
Speaker 1: there on Thursday, please give your advice on what she
Speaker 1: should do with her NFL player boyfriends. But actually, anyways,
Speaker 1: enjoy Bachelor Paradise tomorrow night, which will be Chris and
Speaker 1: Crystal's wedding. We're gonna see some new arrivals, and I
Speaker 1: feel like I've done pretty well for myself in Paradise
Speaker 1: up until this point. Not to toot my own horn,
Speaker 1: Tori shaking her head over here. If I self deprecate,
Speaker 1: she hates it. If I build myself, I too my
Speaker 1: own horn, she hates it. Well, there's no winning over
Speaker 1: here anyways. Uh. For the first time this season, at
Speaker 1: least from my perspective, I believe I will receive a
Speaker 1: lot of scrutiny on the internet. And if you feel
Speaker 1: like I'm being an idiot, please feel free to tweet
Speaker 1: me and let me know how much of an idiot
Speaker 1: I'm being, because I just I need to know, and
Speaker 1: I think that would be good content, good, a good
Speaker 1: ability for me to learn and grow from and good
Speaker 1: content for the podcast at Giants Stadium. Um. Anyways, big
Speaker 1: thank you to our sponsors of course, Big thank you
Speaker 1: to Sleep Number and Legacy Box. Big thank you of
Speaker 1: course to Tori for sharing her dating story with a
Speaker 1: sports player on a team that is unknown, on a
Speaker 1: position that is unknown because she prefers to keep it anonymous.
Speaker 1: Big thank you to Mark Easton and of course Danielle.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna talk to you in next week, but
Speaker 1: we will be talking to you from San Francisco, so
Speaker 1: be sure to tune in then where maybe we will
Speaker 1: suck a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at
Speaker 1: Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to podcast