Speaker 1: I won't lend my body out me out way everything
Speaker 1: that I'm made do. Won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 1: I'm learning a love who I am, I get I'm strong,
Speaker 1: I feel free, I know who every part of me.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful and I will always out way if you
Speaker 1: feel it. With your hays in the air, she'll some
Speaker 1: love to the MOOI at there say good day and
Speaker 1: time did you and die out? Welcome back to Outweigh today.
Speaker 1: Our guest is Dale Borsheverr. She is half of the
Speaker 1: Instagram account and the blog Sweats in the City, and
Speaker 1: we're here to talk to Dale about her intuitive eating
Speaker 1: journey and all the things that kind of led her
Speaker 1: to get help both internally and publicly to share that
Speaker 1: story with her followers. So welcome Dale, So excited to
Speaker 1: see you. Thank you both so much for having me.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to be on here. I know it's
Speaker 1: in a little bit since you talked about this part
Speaker 1: of your journey. It was very present on your Instagram
Speaker 1: account as you were moving through it, which I thought
Speaker 1: was very brave, especially a wellness blog where you're kind
Speaker 1: of expected to kind of contribute to the noise in
Speaker 1: some way. It takes bravery to say, okay, we need
Speaker 1: to pull it back here. So you entered wellness blogging
Speaker 1: and kind of found yourself in over your head when
Speaker 1: it came to wellness trends. So how did the noise
Speaker 1: of wellness infiltrate your mind in the beginning of your
Speaker 1: career or maybe it was the middle of your career,
Speaker 1: maybe not the exact beginning. Yeah, that's exactly right. You know,
Speaker 1: when Elizabeth and I first started sweats in the City,
Speaker 1: our main goal was to review studios and that was
Speaker 1: my passion. I loved going to studios. I love the
Speaker 1: community aspects of fujiq Fitness, and our account. The original
Speaker 1: like pictures going way back, was just of the studio.
Speaker 1: We weren't planning to be these influencer models, whatever you
Speaker 1: like to call it. As we kind of gravitated towards
Speaker 1: and then you know, we were starting to be asked
Speaker 1: to do photo shoots and modeling clothing, and I think
Speaker 1: there was a part of me that was wrongfully the way,
Speaker 1: you know, my own insecurity, my own views of the world,
Speaker 1: that I wasn't necessarily worthy of that position I had
Speaker 1: in over my head. I'm like I don't have this
Speaker 1: like perfect Instagram body with these rock hard abs, and like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I always grew up like thin and I have a
Speaker 1: lot of thin privileged but I just didn't feel like
Speaker 1: I deserved to be in that position. Although I wasn't
Speaker 1: a fitness trainer or anything. It was my own insecurities
Speaker 1: that were holding me back. And you know, I was
Speaker 1: comfortable wearing certain things on camera and I would generally
Speaker 1: wear like a tea and leggings, and then I had
Speaker 1: to wear crop tops and then I turned to bras
Speaker 1: and like, it just stressed me out because I myself
Speaker 1: didn't feel so comfortable, and I remember thinking, I was like, well,
Speaker 1: you know what, instead of me trying to look inward
Speaker 1: and be like a six pack of abs, that's not
Speaker 1: my value, I decided I'm going to change how I
Speaker 1: look until I get there and that will make me
Speaker 1: feel better. So that's kind of where it started. And
Speaker 1: there was a lot of things going on in my
Speaker 1: life that made its spiral out of control, but there
Speaker 1: was that insecurity inside me that definitely sparked from all this,
Speaker 1: and I think it was just unleashing the beast, like
Speaker 1: waiting for it to kind of come out Okay. So
Speaker 1: I feel like we have a lot of listeners that
Speaker 1: don't even realize that some of their behaviors are disordered,
Speaker 1: because again, it's just so out there in society and
Speaker 1: it's what we grow up seeing and viewing. And so
Speaker 1: for you, yeah, you didn't look inward first. You were like, oh,
Speaker 1: if I just go get this body that I quote
Speaker 1: unquote need for Instagram, then everything will be fine and
Speaker 1: I'll be happy. So I don't want to trigger anybody
Speaker 1: with ideas of what you were doing, but I also
Speaker 1: want you to share those ideas because it also might
Speaker 1: make a lightbulb go off in some people's heads of like, oh,
Speaker 1: I kind of do that. And this is not a
Speaker 1: place where we want to call people out, and that's
Speaker 1: not the point. But I think gets important that people
Speaker 1: share their journey and when you had the wake up call,
Speaker 1: because so many of us are just brainwashed. I was
Speaker 1: for years. I didn't realize the disservice I was doing
Speaker 1: to myself and my followers, because on your Instagram account
Speaker 1: you have followers by not being aware of how disordered
Speaker 1: my patterns were. Absolutely, I think that's a really great
Speaker 1: question because I think I was kind of tricked, not tricked,
Speaker 1: but I tricked myself into thinking I was being extremely
Speaker 1: healthy and that visible body parts meant health, and in order,
Speaker 1: once I got there, that meant that it would look
Speaker 1: like I was extremely healthy and fit. So for me,
Speaker 1: I was an extreme denial because I wasn't abusing any
Speaker 1: pills or weighing myself. I was not even weighing myself.
Speaker 1: I wasn't throwing up. It was just extreme restriction. And
Speaker 1: at first what it started was I would say something
Speaker 1: like orthorexia. I was scared to eat outside of my house.
Speaker 1: I unfortunately took poor advice from other trainers who kind
Speaker 1: of taught me would get there. I followed certain diets
Speaker 1: that I were led to believe that were good for
Speaker 1: my health that weren't. And for me, I think I'm
Speaker 1: already a small person, so my body fights to be
Speaker 1: at this set point weight, and in order for me
Speaker 1: to exceed that set point weight, extreme restriction had to
Speaker 1: be in place because it wasn't so easy for me
Speaker 1: to just lose a few pounds, like you know, maybe
Speaker 1: a few, but not much more than that. So what
Speaker 1: went from being like started some health emales at home
Speaker 1: and some swaps that I thought were good for me
Speaker 1: turned into extreme fear of social situations, going out to
Speaker 1: eat food that I didn't know what was inside the ingredients.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say calories, but I had an overall like
Speaker 1: sense of what what things were higher calories. I honestly
Speaker 1: don't even know what I was eating. But the truth
Speaker 1: is many people had to approach me about it, and
Speaker 1: at first I was so resistant. People were like, you
Speaker 1: lost a lot of weight, and at first it was compliments,
Speaker 1: and I think it's definitely triggered me to keep going
Speaker 1: like wow, like clearly it's working and maybe I am
Speaker 1: going to be this fitness professional that I've dreamed of
Speaker 1: by people asking me what my method is. And then
Speaker 1: it turned into okay, people are getting worried. I was
Speaker 1: getting comments on social media, and then it turned into
Speaker 1: like a full on intervention from my family that were
Speaker 1: like you got to stop this or get off of
Speaker 1: social media because this is not gonna end well if
Speaker 1: you don't get help now. So that's kind of what
Speaker 1: turned it around for me. And I was so resistant.
Speaker 1: I mean I wasn't fully resistant. I listened to them,
Speaker 1: but I was like, you don't get it, Like I
Speaker 1: am so healthy I'm doing all the workouts the other
Speaker 1: girls are doing. I just didn't see it. I was
Speaker 1: so deep and I thought it was normal and it wasn't.
Speaker 1: And I think that was just deep denial. And there's
Speaker 1: kind of two angles of this way. I really wanted
Speaker 1: to hear your story. And number one is because you
Speaker 1: kind of transitioned very quickly from the regular person, if
Speaker 1: you will, to wellness expert, and with that came a
Speaker 1: very abrupt kind of learning of this is what you
Speaker 1: do when you're healthy. You don't eat this, you eat this.
Speaker 1: There's a substitute for just about everything. And it starts
Speaker 1: off really, you know, exciting and positive and wow, this
Speaker 1: taste just like my favorite Da dada, And before you
Speaker 1: know it, you develop these fears of foods and you're
Speaker 1: crutching onto these foods and you won't go out of
Speaker 1: your house. And it's very easy to happen to anybody.
Speaker 1: And I think that's kind of what I want, and
Speaker 1: quickly it could happen very quickly, especially with the access
Speaker 1: to these foods that we have. And number two is
Speaker 1: because you are an influencer who you know. I'm sure
Speaker 1: those pictures that you were posing in during that time
Speaker 1: people thought you had it all figured out. And I
Speaker 1: think it's just important when we look at anybody's photos
Speaker 1: to know that every one of us is on a
Speaker 1: journey of some kind, and it's important to just you know,
Speaker 1: not mimic what somebody else is doing or even judge them,
Speaker 1: but really, you know, figure our stuff out for ourselves.
Speaker 1: So it sounds like your wake up call was your
Speaker 1: family really stepping in, which is powerful when you're in
Speaker 1: your mid twenties or so. Right. Yeah, absolutely, I think
Speaker 1: it took that to really make me go seek help
Speaker 1: because there was, you know, the comments. It's very easy
Speaker 1: on social media to be like, oh, these are just haters,
Speaker 1: and I completely agree haters do exist. But I knew
Speaker 1: something was up, and I think I just wouldn't admit it.
Speaker 1: And I think, like, as you said, portraying this idea
Speaker 1: of having it all figured out is such a common
Speaker 1: theme that we see, and it's it's crazy that a
Speaker 1: lot of people who act like they haven't figured out
Speaker 1: really are are struggling. So it it definitely did take
Speaker 1: a strong wake up call. And even so, like I
Speaker 1: didn't even realize it when my parents were like, we
Speaker 1: just want you to talk to someone, we just want
Speaker 1: you to go to a dietitian. Again, like I'm not
Speaker 1: I don't have any credentials. I was never giving advice
Speaker 1: to anyone that was not that's not what I'm certified in.
Speaker 1: Our goal was to make a fun, boutique fitness account,
Speaker 1: and I didn't want people to mimic me, but I
Speaker 1: found the people were looking to me to you know,
Speaker 1: what are you eating, what are you what supplements you're taking,
Speaker 1: what shoes are you wearing? So it was kind of
Speaker 1: became like an all encompassing thing. It wasn't just about
Speaker 1: reviewing studios anymore. It was who are you? And how
Speaker 1: can I become that? And that was what was so
Speaker 1: much pressure for me of someone who would literally before this,
Speaker 1: I was ordering pet tie and pizza and like, I
Speaker 1: never worried about my weight. It was just not a thing.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, I felt that pressure.
Speaker 1: So I want to do a little activity with you
Speaker 1: for people, because I think a lot of times when
Speaker 1: you're scrolling on Instagram, Yeah, you see this body or
Speaker 1: that body, and you wonder what they're doing. And so
Speaker 1: let's pretend we're talking about one of your pictures that
Speaker 1: you were super proud of you finally got to where
Speaker 1: you were Like again, on the inside, you weren't feeling
Speaker 1: that great, but on the outside you're like, Yes, this
Speaker 1: is what I've been working for. Now what if and
Speaker 1: this is what I think would be amazing if this
Speaker 1: was possible on social media. What if you see that
Speaker 1: picture but then coming out of your head was a
Speaker 1: bubble of what you were really feeling on the inside
Speaker 1: at that moment because we all double tap and then
Speaker 1: you know, comment, And when I say we, I mean
Speaker 1: the collective. That's like still part of that narrative of
Speaker 1: like what are you doing giving all the details? I
Speaker 1: want your body, even though everybody's body is completely different.
Speaker 1: But say someone is commenting like, oh my gosh, she
Speaker 1: looks so great. I want to know all your details.
Speaker 1: But like what if that person was able to double
Speaker 1: tap your photo and then get a look inside your
Speaker 1: brain at that very moment, Like what what are some
Speaker 1: adjectives to describe what you were feeling like inside? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I love that question. I think that just my world
Speaker 1: was so small. I would wake up, I think about food,
Speaker 1: I think about what I'm going to eat, how I'm
Speaker 1: gonna hide, what I'm gonna eat, how I'm gonna avoid
Speaker 1: a social gathering, how I'm gonna get energy to go
Speaker 1: through my class? And everything became about me restricting. I'm
Speaker 1: going to say one of the things that my friends
Speaker 1: told me, she said this about me, which was interesting.
Speaker 1: She said, you know, you were the kind of person
Speaker 1: that would light up a room when you would come
Speaker 1: through as a friend gathering, and when you were going
Speaker 1: through this period, it was like you were there was
Speaker 1: nothing there, and I just it's it's hard for me
Speaker 1: to see because I was in it, but to have
Speaker 1: an outside perspective of people being like that wasn't dale.
Speaker 1: And when I look back, I would journal during that time,
Speaker 1: it was just like I now to this day, don't
Speaker 1: even recognize that person. It wasn't me. So to tell
Speaker 1: someone like it's one thing to make a healthy lifestyle
Speaker 1: change and something that you feel good about and proud
Speaker 1: about and having goals is amazing, But when you take
Speaker 1: it too far and that becomes your world, it's not
Speaker 1: something to glamorize. So a lot of people want to
Speaker 1: move away from diet culture recognize that they have disordered
Speaker 1: eating or poor body image or some sort of tendencies
Speaker 1: that are not their healthiest, they don't feel like their
Speaker 1: best self. But I think very few people work with
Speaker 1: a professional, whether that's a mental health professional or a
Speaker 1: registered dietitian. And what I see a lot on the
Speaker 1: internet is a lot of people saying I tried not dieting,
Speaker 1: intuitive eating, quitting diets, whatever, and it didn't work because X.
Speaker 1: But I think there's something very important. And we've had
Speaker 1: some amazing intuitive eating dietitians and therapists on the podcast
Speaker 1: that are great resources for anybody who wants to kind
Speaker 1: of go back and listen to them. But what was
Speaker 1: it like to work with a professional while also, you know,
Speaker 1: never taking a break from the public eye. I worked
Speaker 1: with a team, so I had a nutritionist that eventually
Speaker 1: I went to see a dietitian. I had a therapist
Speaker 1: who specialized. Part of our specialty was in in disorders,
Speaker 1: and then I also had a doctor who specialized in that.
Speaker 1: So I know this isn't for everyone. But you don't
Speaker 1: have to be a certain weight to be to have
Speaker 1: an E disorder. I know that for sure, but in
Speaker 1: my particular case, I had to be gaining a certain
Speaker 1: amount of weight each week, so they put me, you know,
Speaker 1: on a meal plan, and you know, at first, again
Speaker 1: I was so resistant, But I think why that was
Speaker 1: so effective for me. First of all, I think I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know if anyone can recover on
Speaker 1: their own. That I never imagine. Because you are fighting
Speaker 1: against your own thoughts, you need someone to guide you.
Speaker 1: And I think my therapist did some of the best work.
Speaker 1: I think she was incredible. She really cracked down about
Speaker 1: what was going through. And and this was like two years,
Speaker 1: Like this isn't just like I went to a few
Speaker 1: therapy sessions, I'm good now, Like this was me coming
Speaker 1: back going from two times a week to a therapist
Speaker 1: two times a week, to nutritionists and a group session
Speaker 1: and to the doctor every single week to eventually every
Speaker 1: week and then every other week and then eventually you
Speaker 1: know that kind of stuff. So it kind of was
Speaker 1: a lot of them not letting me quit. And then
Speaker 1: there was that also at the beginning especially, they told
Speaker 1: me like, we will not even continue with you and
Speaker 1: we will send you to a higher level of care
Speaker 1: if you don't do not cooperate with us. I grew
Speaker 1: up like I always followed the rules. I love to
Speaker 1: do well in school. So for me, like there was
Speaker 1: two sides of me. There was the part that was
Speaker 1: so resistant, but the part that wanted to like impress
Speaker 1: them and do well and get my straight A. It
Speaker 1: was weird, Like I was like every time I would
Speaker 1: get away in like it was just the most stressful time. Souse.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I wanted to be proud of me, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to gain weight, And it was just
Speaker 1: this fight. But eventually they were so supportive that it
Speaker 1: started to trickle away. And I mean, it definitely wasn't easy,
Speaker 1: but I think they had the right tools to get
Speaker 1: me out of the mindset and be that support for me.
Speaker 1: And then at one point you were very open about
Speaker 1: working with the intuitive eating Dietitian. I remember you did
Speaker 1: a ton of Q and a S on your your story.
Speaker 1: Was that kind of after the treatment plan was solidified,
Speaker 1: was this continued care? Yeah, So actually I electively decided
Speaker 1: to do that. I originally saw nutritionist, but I felt
Speaker 1: as though, and I think this is where the intuitive
Speaker 1: eating thing is very necessary. I find that a lot
Speaker 1: of people who may choose to recover by themselves or
Speaker 1: go through things, they tied their disorder into a new
Speaker 1: a new disorder. Maybe it's not everyone, but maybe it's veganism,
Speaker 1: maybe it's inn and a fasting. Maybe they're just trying
Speaker 1: to make an excuse of how they can maintain that troll.
Speaker 1: And with the intuitive Eater, she really got those labels away,
Speaker 1: like she had worked with me to be like there's
Speaker 1: nothing that's gonna keep you controlled, like we are just
Speaker 1: doing what's right for you. So when I was done
Speaker 1: with the nutritionists, I found I still had a lot
Speaker 1: more work to do in that area. I didn't feel
Speaker 1: like the nutritionist I was with was as intuitive as I.
Speaker 1: I was started following accounts on Instagram that we're very intuitive,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I kind of want to see
Speaker 1: someone like that. So I ended up seeing someone who
Speaker 1: was super helpful, and we went through a program and
Speaker 1: she doesn't actually see anyone who needs treatment and weigh
Speaker 1: ins like this was kind of like after So it
Speaker 1: was really that was like the final stage. And by
Speaker 1: then I felt comfortable talking about it because I felt
Speaker 1: like I was actually implementing the things that I should
Speaker 1: be talking about. At the beginning, I wasn't comfortable because
Speaker 1: I wasn't in a position to be talking about it
Speaker 1: because I was still so disordered, so I kind of
Speaker 1: kept that away from the public until I realized, Okay,
Speaker 1: like this is actually how I'm living my life now.
Speaker 1: And it was hard because I had this fear of
Speaker 1: what if I bounced the other way and then no
Speaker 1: one wanted to follow me because I was just promoting
Speaker 1: junk food of time, so I was battling it. And
Speaker 1: then I was like, wait, there is this like middle
Speaker 1: ground I can find that's like healthy but also not
Speaker 1: restrictive and enjoying my life, you know, and and nourishing
Speaker 1: my body so in the best way possible. And I
Speaker 1: think you do a really good job now of kind
Speaker 1: of showing that on your account. One of my favorite
Speaker 1: things that you do is you're really playful with food
Speaker 1: and you'll you know, find something at like I don't know,
Speaker 1: for lack of a better example here, like a gas
Speaker 1: station or like a food that you've kind of forgot
Speaker 1: about from your youth, and then you'll try them on
Speaker 1: your stories and again, like on an account where you
Speaker 1: expect the gluten free, grain free, dairy free version, you're
Speaker 1: exposing it, and whether it's for yourself or for other people,
Speaker 1: it's a really positive example to see it and normalize
Speaker 1: it Is that intentional? Do you try to be a
Speaker 1: good role model for others? Or is that now just
Speaker 1: kind of like naturally who you are. I think now
Speaker 1: that's naturally who I am. But I do like to
Speaker 1: show both sides of the coin. I'm really careful in
Speaker 1: again like not showing everything I eat. I don't want
Speaker 1: like what I eat in a day's I don't want
Speaker 1: people to compare themselves to me. I'm also again like
Speaker 1: not certified in any way, so do people taking nutrition
Speaker 1: advice for me? I like to show snippets of like
Speaker 1: my green juices and my smoothies too, and something at
Speaker 1: a restaurant or a new chip I found or froyo
Speaker 1: or something that's more of like a treat and and
Speaker 1: something that I'd love to enjoy. And so I think
Speaker 1: that's definitely something I'd like to show and show that
Speaker 1: you can enjoy all foods and they can all fit
Speaker 1: into your daily incake. So yeah, and I think, now
Speaker 1: that's like very telling of me. And I sometimes I
Speaker 1: forget and I am like, am I healthy? Am I not?
Speaker 1: Am I eating enough treats? Am I not? And then
Speaker 1: I remember spending a couple of months with my family
Speaker 1: this summer and they were like, you have your dessert,
Speaker 1: you eat your greens, like they're like, wow, out like
Speaker 1: you don't go crazy when the dessert comes and have
Speaker 1: like a whole tub, but you know how to portion it.
Speaker 1: And I was like, wow, that was honestly, so I
Speaker 1: wasn't that I need validation, but it's good to know that, like,
Speaker 1: because some of you in your own thoughts, and it's
Speaker 1: good to know that I actually find myself like living
Speaker 1: that way and people who are around me feel that
Speaker 1: I'm not to one way or the other. So I
Speaker 1: think it's kind of my life now. And I'm sure
Speaker 1: that your family and your friends they notice bad about you,
Speaker 1: but also that you're probably back to lighting up the
Speaker 1: room when you walk in. That's so true because my
Speaker 1: sister also said that to me this summer. She was
Speaker 1: like a couple of summers ago, you came home and
Speaker 1: she was like, I honestly was like, was dale always
Speaker 1: like this? Was that? Like she she's like I started
Speaker 1: to question my own sanity. She's like, I just remember,
Speaker 1: like She's like I started to question myself because again,
Speaker 1: I was such a chatterbox growing up. I was like
Speaker 1: always in place and just again, like I had this
Speaker 1: energy and she was like, and now I see it
Speaker 1: and it's back. And I knew that it was just
Speaker 1: like the because you were in this state, and but
Speaker 1: she was like, I honestly questioned myself many times, being like,
Speaker 1: maybe that wasn't the deal I remember. So it was
Speaker 1: very interesting to hear that from my own sister, who
Speaker 1: I speak to every single day, and you know, I
Speaker 1: haven't lived there in like a decade, in in the
Speaker 1: same cities, but it was it was really refreshing to
Speaker 1: hear that I had been brought back to life and
Speaker 1: there was a reason why I should never go back
Speaker 1: to that stage. I feel like this right here gives
Speaker 1: people hope. If they currently feel like they don't even
Speaker 1: know themselves anymore, there's hope that you can get back
Speaker 1: to that and they are there no matter how many
Speaker 1: years it's been. Because for some people, they've been living
Speaker 1: with their eating disorder since they were a teenager, and
Speaker 1: we get emails from people in their fifties and sixties
Speaker 1: and it's been decades. And I just don't want people
Speaker 1: to think because it's been so long that they can't
Speaker 1: get to who they really are. At the heart of
Speaker 1: things and people can get to know the real them,
Speaker 1: because yeah, I feel like I spent way too many
Speaker 1: years just in this like emptiness becau is your brain
Speaker 1: space is so preoccupied. Well, when you asked sort of
Speaker 1: fill in her bubbles of what she was thinking in
Speaker 1: that picture where she might have looked confident to an outsider.
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny, Dale, you couldn't even come up
Speaker 1: with what your thoughts were because they were so limited
Speaker 1: and preoccupied to food, workout, hide your food, you know,
Speaker 1: whatever you said. So I found that very telling of
Speaker 1: your head space and were our headspace what it gets
Speaker 1: shrunk down to? Its kind of the best way to
Speaker 1: put it, and the main word that Dale used, because
Speaker 1: I think I was like, when I pictured the activity,
Speaker 1: I just sprung it on you, Dale. But I was like,
Speaker 1: let's just do a rundown of adjectives, because wouldn't that
Speaker 1: be a cool feature for Instagram to add of, like
Speaker 1: if they could just do a brain scan and really
Speaker 1: see what's going on in our our messed up heads
Speaker 1: when we post something. But the adjective you did use
Speaker 1: right away was small. You felt your world felt small,
Speaker 1: and that's exactly what it is. I think that's a
Speaker 1: perfect description totally. And I think what a lot of
Speaker 1: people forget is they're so fearful of aiming weight. But
Speaker 1: think about all the other things you've gained from that weight.
Speaker 1: Think about or I know it's not for everyone and
Speaker 1: some people's weight doesn't change and it's just their mindset.
Speaker 1: But I had to really think of all the other
Speaker 1: things I've gained. And my therapist I remember, said to me,
Speaker 1: she's like, go look back at your because I'm a writer,
Speaker 1: like I like to write bog posts, Go look back
Speaker 1: at your blog post during that time, and they sucked.
Speaker 1: My writing was just not as good. My ideas were
Speaker 1: not as good. I just remember sometimes in sessions being
Speaker 1: like what And there were just times when things first
Speaker 1: when I was first going you know, so it was
Speaker 1: just a lot of your right the brain, your brain
Speaker 1: space is just preoccupied with that. How can you have
Speaker 1: room for anything else? And it's just you're just in
Speaker 1: fight or flight mode the whole time. And as you said,
Speaker 1: people are in this for years. And I'm so grateful
Speaker 1: I had a quick turnaround, but a lot of people don't,
Speaker 1: and it's years of your life. And I just didn't
Speaker 1: want to to take any more of my life away,
Speaker 1: especially you know, being in my now I'm thirty but
Speaker 1: late funnies in New York City building career, like it
Speaker 1: really shrinks your world. I feel like maybe you could
Speaker 1: offer advice to someone listening, since you did have family
Speaker 1: and friends come to you, and I know you touched
Speaker 1: on this, but maybe if you could get a little specific,
Speaker 1: because we do get emails of like, you know, I
Speaker 1: have a friend that's struggling, or a family member or
Speaker 1: a daughter or whatever, but I don't know how to
Speaker 1: bring it up to them without scaring the way or
Speaker 1: get them getting super defensive or hurting their feelings. And honestly,
Speaker 1: that might happen no matter what, but I just would
Speaker 1: like for you to share a little bit more about
Speaker 1: how they did that with you, and even if there
Speaker 1: was resistance, if you could offer encouragement to people that
Speaker 1: might have to be the person intervening. I think it's
Speaker 1: actually you don't focus on the weight. I think people
Speaker 1: who are a disorder, they all they think about his weight,
Speaker 1: and if you tell them that they look too skinny,
Speaker 1: they either get triggered by it. What helped me was
Speaker 1: someone saying, you know, I feel like you're not yourself.
Speaker 1: I feel like you are maybe unhappy. I feel like
Speaker 1: again these words that like your personality. I just feel
Speaker 1: like you're not the same and things seem off and
Speaker 1: to actually get me to go. And I remember my
Speaker 1: now fiance like said, he's like, you don't have to
Speaker 1: gain weight, just talk to someone, and I think that
Speaker 1: eased my fear and being like okay, like now I'll
Speaker 1: go if they don't. Because the scariest thing for someone
Speaker 1: who was in my position was that I was gonna
Speaker 1: wake up one morning and gain all this weight. But
Speaker 1: you don't realize that when I did gain the weight,
Speaker 1: I actually gained a lot more body confidence. It was
Speaker 1: when I was at my worst point that I had
Speaker 1: my lowest body confidence. So it's really important to not
Speaker 1: make it like you need to gain weight, you need
Speaker 1: to eat more, and just be like you you know,
Speaker 1: your personality has been different, Like why don't you talk
Speaker 1: to someone and really just kind of crack you just
Speaker 1: need to crack them open a little bit and just
Speaker 1: get to them, be like something's different, like I'm here
Speaker 1: to talk, no judgment and there you do. You have
Speaker 1: to have some safe people you can talk to. For me,
Speaker 1: that was my fiance, some of my friends, my sister,
Speaker 1: and they just have to sympathize and understand that it's
Speaker 1: not going to make sense for that person right now.
Speaker 1: It's not going to be so simple just eat. And
Speaker 1: I think another thing as a friend, I think the
Speaker 1: most helpful thing was going to dinner with friends who
Speaker 1: ordered like the pasta and didn't make a comment on
Speaker 1: the pasta and they just like, like, I remember I
Speaker 1: had a friend I was out for dinner and this
Speaker 1: was like in a phase when like everyone was so
Speaker 1: carb obsessed, carb demonizing, and she was like, um, actually
Speaker 1: when did the pastor like I just feel like it
Speaker 1: And I was like, and none of my friends would
Speaker 1: do that like at that time, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: and I remember, like those moments were moments that really
Speaker 1: helped me in my journey and my recovery. So even
Speaker 1: just being a good example as a friend, like don't
Speaker 1: talk about diets, because I have friends all the time
Speaker 1: that would still tell me about their diet knowing it.
Speaker 1: So that's just really to be aware of that. I
Speaker 1: love that advice. I think that's really helpful and I
Speaker 1: try and also be Now now you can be that
Speaker 1: person for other people and that's kind of the fun
Speaker 1: part of being a bit on the other side. All right,
Speaker 1: we don't want to take up too much of your time,
Speaker 1: but boutique fitness kind of isn't what it was when
Speaker 1: you started with COVID. There isn't you know, all the
Speaker 1: places to review, and you and Elizabeth over at Sweats
Speaker 1: in the City did make a huge pivot in the
Speaker 1: last few weeks and you launched Sweat with Sweats and
Speaker 1: this I think has a lot to do with mental
Speaker 1: health in a way we can bring the joy back
Speaker 1: to exercise. So can you tell us a little bit
Speaker 1: about that and where we can find it? Yes, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. So, Yes, we launched the platform. It
Speaker 1: is on our website, Sweats and City dot com, and
Speaker 1: Sweat with Sweats is essentially a online platform and we
Speaker 1: have live workout hostings every day with different instructors or
Speaker 1: almost every day, and we also do meditations and postural
Speaker 1: alignment classes and it's all about kind of getting the
Speaker 1: community together. And you know what we're all lacking at
Speaker 1: home is that sense of community. There are so many options,
Speaker 1: there are so many on demand options, but it's the
Speaker 1: idea of like waking up or if it's an afternoon
Speaker 1: class and having the ability to be on with people
Speaker 1: and experience the energy and the connection. And we also
Speaker 1: state into on demanding case you miss them, and just
Speaker 1: getting a variety of different instructors and it's kind of
Speaker 1: just all the workouts we love to do, you know,
Speaker 1: even if you can get in twenty minutes of your day,
Speaker 1: And that's just kind of what sparked it in our
Speaker 1: minds to come up with this, and it's been awesome.
Speaker 1: Well I've gotten to try it out too, and I
Speaker 1: love that there is that meditation and that postural alignment
Speaker 1: because it really does show your expanded version of feeling
Speaker 1: confident in your body, not just you know, hit classes
Speaker 1: or just really you know, the sweaty, hardcore stuff, and
Speaker 1: just being able to see people. I know it's been
Speaker 1: really lonely and a lot of people are experiencing disordered eating, exercise, addiction,
Speaker 1: all these things for the first time because you know,
Speaker 1: avoid was created in the past year of of really
Speaker 1: being alone and not having the endorphins that are creating
Speaker 1: and just seeing people. So I do love that community
Speaker 1: aspect of jumping on a zoom and seeing a bunch
Speaker 1: of people that you don't know, and there's something really
Speaker 1: nice about that. Yeah, completely, and I think there's something
Speaker 1: to be said about Yeah, there was like the dream
Speaker 1: exercise addiction, but also finding that ground into being like
Speaker 1: starting your day off with mindful movement, it's such an
Speaker 1: effect on the rest of your day, Like once you
Speaker 1: do something for yourself and carve out that time because
Speaker 1: you love your body and you want to move it
Speaker 1: versus I'm going to get a sweaty hour in and
Speaker 1: not you know, skip out on food because they didn't exercise. Like,
Speaker 1: that's not what it's about. It's more about Yeah, just
Speaker 1: exactly said, like mindful movement and feeling good in your
Speaker 1: body and your mind and just all those things. I
Speaker 1: love everything that you shared, so Dale, thank you for
Speaker 1: sharing your story with us. We'll put Sweats in the
Speaker 1: City and the new Sweats with Sweats in the show
Speaker 1: notes below. Thank you Dale for bravely telling your story.
Speaker 1: I know that wasn't easy. We love and appreciate you.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Yeah, that's the first time I've
Speaker 1: ever been so open about my story. So thank you. Guys.
Speaker 1: So honored to be on the platform. Yeah, thank you,
Speaker 1: thanks for sharing it with us.