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Speaker 1: This is John. This is your og Okay storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we.

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Speaker 2: Have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 1: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 1: got a quick cheuminute ad break from a sponsors, keeping

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Speaker 1: the show rocking and rolling. I tried to reconcile with

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Speaker 1: my sister, but my husband ruined the progress.

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Speaker 3: Don't westart it, just continue trigger.

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Speaker 1: Warning mentions of my thirty two male sister twenty four

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Speaker 1: female and I were really close when we were kids.

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Speaker 1: She was a really sweet kid, and neither of us

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Speaker 1: were really good at making friends, so I was her

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Speaker 1: whole world and it was nice to feel loved. Our

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Speaker 1: parents pitted us against each other constantly. They compared our

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Speaker 1: academic achievements, our behaviors, our sense of style, et cetera.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from fun wrong too Earth

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Speaker 1: ten And if you want to spit your own stories,

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Speaker 1: what are the our slish ow okay stories? I'm sawbred.

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Speaker 1: So it put a lot of stress on our relationship,

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Speaker 1: and it slowly made us more competitive over time. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't a good brother in the end. I don't feel

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Speaker 1: bad about leaving the house at eighteen. I couldn't live

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Speaker 1: there anymore with how our parents were. But I feel

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Speaker 1: bad about having cut my sister out of my life entirely.

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Speaker 1: I was more of a grind and Barrett kind of

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Speaker 1: guy when it came to our parents BS, But from

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Speaker 1: very early on, my sister was feisty and argumentative, refusing

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Speaker 1: to sit down and take it without a fight. She

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Speaker 1: tended to escalate whatever drama our parents started. I see

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Speaker 1: it now that she was very young at the time,

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Speaker 1: ten by the time I moved out, and didn't properly

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Speaker 1: know how to de escalate situations or handle her feelings.

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Speaker 1: At the time, I blamed her for the tention at

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Speaker 1: home and resented her more and more as the years passed.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't feel guilty about having cut her out

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Speaker 1: of my life. I didn't cut my parents out the

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Speaker 1: actual guilty ones, only her, Because I was more angry

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Speaker 1: she would to be more like me and make life

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Speaker 1: easier for both of us. I affed up bad and

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Speaker 1: abandoned her with no friends. I met my now husband,

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Speaker 1: thirty three male, in college. He was perfect, or so

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Speaker 1: I thought. We were both software engineers like this, the

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Speaker 1: same things, and very gentle and funny. I adore him.

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Speaker 1: He has two little sisters one sister in law twenty

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Speaker 1: eight female and sister in law two eighteen female. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna call him Sarah and Sally. Sarah is practically his

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Speaker 1: best friend. They are thick as thieves, and Sally is

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Speaker 1: the family's baby. His parents are pretty much better than mine.

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Speaker 1: And it's been because of interacting with my in laws

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Speaker 1: that I've begun to realize how none of it was.

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Speaker 1: What happened was my sister's fault. It was always my parents.

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Speaker 1: Sally was six when I met her. I've seen her

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Speaker 1: grow up, and I've seen what a proper childcare is

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Speaker 1: supposed to look like, and how dirty my parents did

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Speaker 1: me and my sister, and that they were the ones

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Speaker 1: to blame, not us, and especially not my sister. I

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Speaker 1: know I wasn't responsible for taking care of my sister,

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Speaker 1: because that's the parent's responsibility, but I wish I hadn't

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Speaker 1: completely left her alone and isolated. I don't think that

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Speaker 1: that was fair. I tried to connect with her six

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Speaker 1: years ago, but she was very cagy and unresponsive, so

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Speaker 1: I gave her space. We finally started getting some aggressed

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Speaker 1: down about two years ago. She also pursued a career

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Speaker 1: in tech and I got through to her with our

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Speaker 1: shared field. Okay, all right, so it seems like he

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Speaker 1: understands what's going on now.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think the thing is when Opie left,

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Speaker 3: it was at a young age. Yeah, I mean, you

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Speaker 3: don't know. I guess it didn't hit Ope until he

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Speaker 3: saw Sally and Sarah like with their family dynamic and

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Speaker 3: you're like, WHOA. That hits me close to home too,

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Speaker 3: where I'm like, whoa, people have family dinners and run

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Speaker 3: family gatherings and they enjoy like game nights. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: what the heck is that? So I think, oh, he's

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Speaker 3: blaming themselves a little too much because they're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: it's my fault. Like I know it's all my parents,

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Speaker 3: but it's also my fault. Yes, But it's one of

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Speaker 3: those things where it's like it's a what if situation

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Speaker 3: and you can't really do what if, And now you're

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Speaker 3: doing the progress that hopefully leads to rekindle that relationship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So these past few years, I found out a

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Speaker 1: lot about what happened after I left. I'll keep it

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Speaker 1: vague for her sake, but she was harmed by a

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Speaker 1: family member and blamed for it by our parents. And

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Speaker 1: she was still a kid, and later, being isolated and

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Speaker 1: needing love made her vulnerable to being groomed by a teacher.

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Speaker 1: She also had a few mental health struggles all along

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Speaker 1: that she'd barely started getting the courage to seek help for.

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Speaker 1: Mostly she struggles with is trust. Says, nobody who's promised

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Speaker 1: to be there for her has stayed, and she's been

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Speaker 1: hurt and mistreated by the people who were supposed to

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Speaker 1: take care of her. I'm very proud of her, and

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Speaker 1: I really feel like the person she's become in spite

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Speaker 1: of all that she's gone through. I wish i'd been

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Speaker 1: there to help with everything, but there's no point in

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Speaker 1: crying over spilt milk. As of today, i'd consider her

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Speaker 1: my best friend and I'm lucky she gave me another

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Speaker 1: chance for me to be her big brother after I

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Speaker 1: left her. At one appointment, she'd admitted she didn't know

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Speaker 1: what she wanted to study when she got to college,

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Speaker 1: and she chose tech, hoping we would meet again if

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Speaker 1: we were both in the field. We specialized in different areas,

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Speaker 1: but hearing that broke my heart, so I decided we

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Speaker 1: could work on something together, and for the past year

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Speaker 1: and a half. We've been working on a small video

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Speaker 1: game together, like the ones we played when we were kids.

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Speaker 1: We don't make a lot of progress since we're both

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Speaker 1: very busy, but we try to make time for it

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Speaker 1: at least twice a month. I'm having the time of

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Speaker 1: my life working with her. She's opening up more and

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Speaker 1: letting me in more the more time we spend together,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like our relationship is finally healing. She

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Speaker 1: spends a few evenings at my place so or I

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Speaker 1: go over to hers a couple of days out of

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Speaker 1: the month. Two times she's had to spend the night

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Speaker 1: with me and my husband. This is important. The first

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Speaker 1: time we lost track of time and worked so late

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Speaker 1: into the am, I felt more comfortable if she stayed

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Speaker 1: the night. The second time, there was a hailstorm and

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Speaker 1: it wasn't safe for her to be outside. I didn't

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Speaker 1: know my husband had a problem with this. We have

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Speaker 1: Sarah and Sally over all the time, and I'm fine

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Speaker 1: with that. Sarah and I are friends in our own

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Speaker 1: right way, and probably will stay friends even if I

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Speaker 1: broke up with my husband. Sally is a Sarahgate little

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Speaker 1: sister to figure to me. I love her. Sarah and

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Speaker 1: my husband are both musicians, and they work in indie

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Speaker 1: music together. Sometimes she'll spend the weekends over a night

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Speaker 1: included while they work on their creative stuff together, and

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Speaker 1: other times they'll spend a weekend out of the town

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Speaker 1: recording their music or in small music events. This doesn't

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Speaker 1: bother me at all. I like that my husband is

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Speaker 1: so close with his sister, and I like that I'm

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Speaker 1: close with Sarah too, and I like that they're so

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Speaker 1: passionate about their craft. My husband's passion for everything he

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Speaker 1: does was fifty percent of what made me so attracted

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Speaker 1: to him in the first place. Ever since the Hellstorm night,

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Speaker 1: the second time she spent the night at her place,

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Speaker 1: my sister has been coming over less and less and

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Speaker 1: has left her project short of abandon She texts me

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Speaker 1: more sporadically and doesn't call me anymore. This word and me.

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Speaker 1: He said, that's just how things are. Our siblings grow

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Speaker 1: apart in time, you're married now, and other things like that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't get it, because me being married has never

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Speaker 1: been a problem as far as I'm concerned. My husband

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Speaker 1: liked my sister as much as I like his. All

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Speaker 1: five of us hung out together more than once and

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Speaker 1: we've had a group chat and we keep up in

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Speaker 1: it when we don't have time to meet up. This evening,

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Speaker 1: Sarah came to talk to me after work while my

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Speaker 1: husband was still on his way home. She told me

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Speaker 1: that my husband told her how he had gotten rid

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Speaker 1: of my sister by having a stern talk with her

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Speaker 1: about boundary. Sarah likes my sister, so I didn't sit

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Speaker 1: well with her Seeing how my sister has been withdrawing,

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Speaker 1: Sarah's worried about her and decided to tell me what's

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Speaker 1: been going on.

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Speaker 2: What.

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Speaker 1: I was confused and angry, but I decided to be

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Speaker 1: an adult about it and wait until my husband came

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Speaker 1: back to talk. That was about three hours ago. Wait

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Speaker 1: what got rid of?

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Speaker 3: I think it's jealousy, you know, the late nights. Maybe

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Speaker 3: it's like, oh, I don't know, Maybe there was no

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Speaker 3: communication from Opie saying, oh, my sister's gonna stay over.

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Speaker 3: I would assume so, but we don't know that. But

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Speaker 3: I think it's jealousy that Opie's husband is like, you're

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Speaker 3: hanging out with your sister and she's taking time away

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Speaker 3: from you know, you hang out with me, So I

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Speaker 3: don't know. That's my initial thought, but I could be wrong.

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Speaker 1: Do you have anything No that I think jealousy.

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Speaker 3: Which is weird because it's like very hypocritical because he

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Speaker 3: has like Sally, they do the musician stuff, the indie music,

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Speaker 3: and they do that on the side, and Opie's like,

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Speaker 3: that's great. You guys are hanging out. That's cool. So

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Speaker 3: who knows.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's weird that he could do it, but you can.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but we'll see the reasoning.

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Speaker 1: I asked my husband what if Sarah said was true?

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Speaker 1: And he got this obnoxious choi and patronizing attitude, saying

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Speaker 1: that my sister wasn't respecting our married life she always has,

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Speaker 1: and that she was taking up too much space by

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Speaker 1: staying there. Keon was on it. Call it his sister

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Speaker 1: spends many night in our guest room when they're songwriting,

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Speaker 1: and my sister spent two nights because of external circumstances.

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Speaker 1: Apparently what bothered him was at the night where my

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Speaker 1: sister stayed home because we worked late into the night.

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Speaker 1: The first time we spent there, I fell asleep with

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Speaker 1: her in the guest bedroom. When we were kids and

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Speaker 1: still got along, we would wake up in each other's

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Speaker 1: bedrooms talking until one of us fell asleep. There's nothing

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Speaker 1: weird about it. So my favorite childhood memories are hearing

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Speaker 1: my sister babble about her cute little thoughts as I

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Speaker 1: dozed off to sleep, or seeing her become drowsy as

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Speaker 1: I told her about my day at school or my

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Speaker 1: dreams of the future. That night, my husband wasn't even

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Speaker 1: going to come back home. He was out with Sarah

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Speaker 1: at a music event, and he said he wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: back until morning. Since my husband wasn't supposed to be

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Speaker 1: home at all, I thought he'd be sweet and my

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Speaker 1: sister and I could regain one of those childhood traditions.

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Speaker 1: He came home around three am because of some problem

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Speaker 1: with the show and got upset that he couldn't sleep

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Speaker 1: with me that he decided to go to my sister

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Speaker 1: behind my back and tell her on behalf of both

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Speaker 1: of us. I was un informed of this, and that

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Speaker 1: she was taking up too much space in our relationship

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Speaker 1: and he needed to back off and respect I have

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Speaker 1: a life without her, now what well.

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Speaker 3: That left up?

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Speaker 1: That's wild?

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Speaker 2: Dude?

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Speaker 3: Also three am? Brother, who's up three am? Like you're

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Speaker 3: upset because your partner's not and your bed at three

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Speaker 3: am what I one night, it's like one or two nights.

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Speaker 3: This is out of pocket.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is out of bucket. Also, you'rely one of them.

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Speaker 1: You could probably drag me in bed be like, oh come.

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Speaker 3: On, come on, or we wake them up, check on.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, if they're both asleep by three am and

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Speaker 3: it's like cutie, And especially if you know OP has

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Speaker 3: a traumatic past with their sibling, it's really left.

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Speaker 1: Up, dude. My relationship with my sister is still fragile,

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Speaker 1: even two years into our reconciliation. I left her for

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Speaker 1: the better part of eight years, and she's been betrayed

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Speaker 1: by family, friends and romantic partners. She has a lot

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Speaker 1: of trust issues and she's working very hard on overcoming that,

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Speaker 1: but she's not quite there yet. She's still afraid I'm

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Speaker 1: going to leave her, and she still has never been

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Speaker 1: manipulative about it. She's grey at communicating and she needs

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Speaker 1: reassurance rather than being manipulative about it. It's just that

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Speaker 1: I can still read her in her expressions that she's

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Speaker 1: still insecure, even if she keeps it to herself. We've

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Speaker 1: always been good at reading each other at a glance.

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Speaker 1: She's doing so well all things considered, and she's trying

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Speaker 1: to regulate her feelings and manage all this by herself.

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Speaker 1: For the most part, I'm so freaking proud of her.

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Speaker 1: I can only imagine hearing what my husband told her

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Speaker 1: to her. When I told my husband he had no

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Speaker 1: right to speak on my behalf to my sister to

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Speaker 1: say something like that, he said, I'm overreacting and that

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Speaker 1: I would have done the same thing if he had

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Speaker 1: replace to sleep with his sister. I didn't replace him.

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Speaker 1: He wasn't supposed to be home, and I was deep

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Speaker 1: asleep when he arrived. He didn't even wake me up

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Speaker 1: so I could join him in bed. Instead of talking

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Speaker 1: to me about it, he waited until my sister spent

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Speaker 1: the night again because of a hell storm and talk

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Speaker 1: to her behind my back. Dude, this is some snake

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Speaker 1: activities right here.

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Speaker 3: And of course the sister's not gonna say anything because

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Speaker 3: she's already on like, uh, I don't trust anyone, just

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Speaker 3: on the nice then nice she's yeah, everything's like very

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Speaker 3: on thin ice. She doesn't trust anyone, and sure she's

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Speaker 3: like this is great, but like, I have no reason

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Speaker 3: to confront my brother because you know what sucks.

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Speaker 1: It sucks yeah, I'm too pissed to be with my

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Speaker 1: husband right now. I pack some bags and I'm going

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Speaker 1: to the bus see my sister. It's late at night,

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Speaker 1: but I need to talk to her and clear this up.

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Speaker 1: I don't want her to think I'm leaving her again,

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Speaker 1: or that I want her at arm's length. I don't.

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Speaker 1: I want to be close to her as we were

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Speaker 1: when our parents ruined everything. I'm not sure what I'm

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Speaker 1: going to do with my husband, but hearing him say

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Speaker 1: all those awful things about my sister and pretending he

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Speaker 1: did nothing wrong by telling her she was bothering us,

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Speaker 1: bothering me and she needed to step out of my

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Speaker 1: life makes me feel like I never do him at all.

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Speaker 1: Even Sarah was distraught when she told me what he'd done.

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Speaker 1: She said she would have never thought her brother would

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Speaker 1: do anything like this. I have no idea what the

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Speaker 1: next step is. All I know for now is I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to lose my sister again, and I'll have

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Speaker 1: a long talk with my husband when i'm calm old

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Speaker 1: a civil conversation. But I'm not sure if I'll be

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Speaker 1: able to forgive him for this. I feel like he

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Speaker 1: crossed a line we got an update, and yeah, goodness,

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Speaker 1: gracious Todd, what the heck is wrong with this guy?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? What is this stepping from? I mean, obviously it's jealousy,

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Speaker 3: but the fact that this is one night and again

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Speaker 3: it's the hypocrisy of your sister says over all the

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Speaker 3: time too, and you guys do indie music and you

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Speaker 3: guys go late into the night, and I don't batny,

285
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Speaker 3: But the one time my sister does it, it's all

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Speaker 3: heck breaks loose.

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Speaker 1: It's tech and music really that different.

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Speaker 3: It's not even that, it's just like bonding with your sister. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: she was having a sibling bond and hanging out, and

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Speaker 3: you're getting jealous because the sister's staying in your house

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Speaker 3: and enjoying time with Op.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty well.

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Speaker 3: Come on, And it was after one time. It was

294
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Speaker 3: one time of coming home three am, and like, oh,

295
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Speaker 3: OPI didn't tell me this was gonna happen, even though

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Speaker 3: I said I wasn't coming home.

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Speaker 1: Come on, come on, come on, come on. Update. I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure how to feel right now. I made it's

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Speaker 1: my sister's place close to midnight after riding the last post.

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Speaker 1: She was surprised to see me there at that time,

301
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Speaker 1: and I was even more surprised. When I got there,

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00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,040
Speaker 1: she had her own bags packed. Her boss had offered

303
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,000
Speaker 1: her to transfer overseas a while back and told her

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Speaker 1: to think about it. She said she didn't have anything

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00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,160
Speaker 1: to think about. At first, she appreciated the effort I

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00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,080
Speaker 1: was putting into rebuilding our relationship, and she wanted to

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Speaker 1: stay close to me. However, my husband so helpfully told

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Speaker 1: her the load of bs he did, and she changed

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Speaker 1: her mind. We spoke for over an hour. I clarified

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Speaker 1: that my husband was full of crap and none of

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Speaker 1: what he said was on my behalf. I don't think

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Speaker 1: she's taking up space, not anymore than my sister in

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00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:06,040
Speaker 1: laws are in any case, and I've always been expected

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Speaker 1: by my husband to be in aoka with that I

315
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Speaker 1: am because he's close to them. I couldn't change her mind.

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Speaker 1: I'm writing this from Sarah's house. I still can't look

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Speaker 1: at my husband in the face, and I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: what comes to our marriage after this. In the end,

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Speaker 1: my sister decided to leave because she's afraid. She confessed

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Speaker 1: that for the past two years that we've been getting

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Speaker 1: close again, she's had feelings that if she makes the

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Speaker 1: smallest mistake. I'm gonna leave her again.

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Speaker 3: That sucks that she's like again, she's like emotionally she's

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Speaker 3: been through so much. Yeah, and that the fact that, like,

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00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,280
Speaker 3: even though you guys are having a good reconnection, it

326
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:43,800
Speaker 3: still feels like she's on eggshells.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that is so crazy, dude. I would divorce her

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Speaker 1: husband after this. She also said she knows that this

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Speaker 1: isn't a fair way to feel, and that she has

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Speaker 1: told me anything about it because she didn't want to guilt,

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Speaker 1: trip me, or make me feel bad. My husband was

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Speaker 1: telling her to piss off on my behalf was the

333
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,800
Speaker 1: final I told her she has a right to feel

334
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Speaker 1: like that. I did leave her. She was just a kid,

335
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,760
Speaker 1: and I pinned all the blame on our parents' bs

336
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,520
Speaker 1: onto her. I left her when I should have had

337
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,320
Speaker 1: her in my life. Still, things got very very ugly

338
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,400
Speaker 1: for her, and I have the feeling that she hasn't told

339
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Speaker 1: me the full extent of how bad it was. I

340
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,920
Speaker 1: set the president fourteen years ago that I could just

341
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Speaker 1: up and leave her at any point without warning. Combined

342
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,520
Speaker 1: with all the craps she's gone through ever since, I

343
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,680
Speaker 1: don't blame her for feeling like that. I asked her

344
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,960
Speaker 1: to stay. I told her we could still fix it.

345
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,480
Speaker 1: She said she needed some time on her own. She

346
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,360
Speaker 1: still feels like having an abandonment and trusted shoes as

347
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,240
Speaker 1: her fault, or that it's manipulative by default. I can't

348
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,840
Speaker 1: stress enough that she'll never try to guilt, trip me,

349
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,680
Speaker 1: or do anything that could remotely considered manipulative. She's been

350
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,000
Speaker 1: a champ at handling her issues and her fears by herself.

351
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,720
Speaker 1: She said she can't get in between me and my husband,

352
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,600
Speaker 1: and no matter how many times I told her that

353
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,480
Speaker 1: my husband's actions are the reasons we separated and not

354
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,360
Speaker 1: anything she did, it was like talking to a brick wall.

355
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,920
Speaker 1: She got all cagey and negative. That my husband and

356
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,320
Speaker 1: I can fix this and I love them very much

357
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,720
Speaker 1: and she's not going to be the reason I lose him.

358
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,440
Speaker 1: She also said that the entire incident stirred her up

359
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,600
Speaker 1: and she can't be fair now, so she needs space

360
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,040
Speaker 1: since she's always scared I'm going to leave her. She

361
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,160
Speaker 1: doesn't want to stick around for me to see how

362
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:20,000
Speaker 1: bad her mental health can get, and feel bad and worry. Honestly,

363
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 1: I think she's trying to leave me before I leave her.

364
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,840
Speaker 1: This time she saw the slightest of abandonment and hit

365
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Speaker 1: the bricks. I'm angry at her for that. I really

366
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,920
Speaker 1: wanted to fix things with her. She's been my best

367
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,200
Speaker 1: friend for two years and now she's gone.

368
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,840
Speaker 3: It's hard because you can't be angry at her. I know,

369
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:40,200
Speaker 3: it's like I don't like that decision, and I you know,

370
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,320
Speaker 3: you set out everything and like, this is not your fault.

371
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,840
Speaker 3: She's still in that mindset, and I don't think we've

372
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Speaker 3: talked about her having therapy through all the trauma she's

373
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,320
Speaker 3: gone through, and she's handled it. As you said in

374
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:54,400
Speaker 3: that last sentence, she's handled it by herself all these years.

375
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 3: She said, don't have a support system. Yeah, that's what

376
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,120
Speaker 3: it is. She doesn't have a support system. I mean,

377
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,240
Speaker 3: even though she got like the tiniest little bit of

378
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,960
Speaker 3: support from you, she still is like h arm's length

379
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:05,960
Speaker 3: of like I don't want that right now.

380
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:06,440
Speaker 1: Yeah.

381
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,800
Speaker 3: So you can still tell her all these things, and

382
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,040
Speaker 3: she's still gonna have that fence. When it comes down,

383
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,399
Speaker 3: it comes down, but you can't force it to change that.

384
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:17,679
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh absolutely, There's so many layers here that she

385
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,280
Speaker 1: needs to go through. A lot of therapy, So yeah,

386
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,160
Speaker 1: she promised she wasn't ditching me and she just needed

387
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 1: time alone after this. So far, she's been calling every

388
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,000
Speaker 1: night before bed, so we talked at least once a day.

389
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,240
Speaker 1: But still I miss her. I miss her a lot.

390
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,520
Speaker 1: She said, it's not a permanent relocation. Who knows. I

391
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,480
Speaker 1: feel like I just got my sister back and now

392
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,920
Speaker 1: she's gone again. Was this what it felt like for her?

393
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,760
Speaker 1: She was ten, She woke up one morning and I

394
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,440
Speaker 1: wasn't there. I didn't leave it up. I didn't call,

395
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,480
Speaker 1: I didn't text until she was eighteen. I kept in

396
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,880
Speaker 1: touch with my parents, but not with the brat, as

397
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,120
Speaker 1: I called her. Do I have the right to be angry.

398
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 1: We got a little bit left here. I'm just gonna

399
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:54,120
Speaker 1: get into.

400
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:54,760
Speaker 3: It, get into it.

401
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,680
Speaker 1: My husband was very happy when he heard from Sarah

402
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:01,520
Speaker 1: that my sister was gone. Really, dude, dude what He

403
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,520
Speaker 1: told me to go back home and that the trouble

404
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,800
Speaker 1: was over. I didn't answer. I just hung up. He's

405
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,080
Speaker 1: called a lot, but I haven't picked up the phone.

406
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,400
Speaker 1: He's texted me that I can't put a sister over

407
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,960
Speaker 1: a partner and that I'm exaggerating and I'm going to

408
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,320
Speaker 1: regret this when he runs out of patient. Oh that's weird.

409
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:23,160
Speaker 1: I'm seriously considering divorce. We've been together for twelve years,

410
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,320
Speaker 1: but I don't think I can forgive him for this.

411
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,879
Speaker 1: He knew how important fixing things with my sister was

412
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 1: for me. All he says over text is that she

413
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:34,879
Speaker 1: wasn't my responsibility, only my parents. I know that. I

414
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,919
Speaker 1: know she wasn't my responsibility, But does that mean it

415
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,400
Speaker 1: was okay to leave without warning and to cut all

416
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,600
Speaker 1: contact with her? I've never bothered following up with her.

417
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,200
Speaker 1: I hated her by the time I left. I escaped,

418
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,560
Speaker 1: got the crap out of her. Instead of blaming our

419
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,400
Speaker 1: parents for their crappy behavior, I've been staying over at

420
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,720
Speaker 1: Sarah's place for now. She isn't talking to my husband either,

421
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:57,919
Speaker 1: and Sally's torn up over this. He tried using her

422
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 1: like a carrier pigeon between him us, but Sarah told

423
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 1: her in no uncertain terms that my husband shouldn't be

424
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 1: using her like that. I don't know what comes next.

425
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,520
Speaker 1: I miss my sister. My husband did something I would

426
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,320
Speaker 1: have never thought him capable of. I'm sure my sister

427
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 1: is suffering more than she gets let on and she's

428
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,200
Speaker 1: at a point where she isn't ready to accept help.

429
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 1: So I can't do anything. I'm only feeling numb. I

430
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,359
Speaker 1: feel so so portrayed. My husband knew how important this

431
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,919
Speaker 1: was to me. He knew how much I loved my sister,

432
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,239
Speaker 1: he knew she had issues. How could he do that

433
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:32,160
Speaker 1: to the both of us?

434
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:37,360
Speaker 3: Dangn that's wild jealousy, bro, It's twelve years of marriage

435
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 3: angry over one little thing.

436
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,440
Speaker 1: Also, he was happy she left. He knows that you've

437
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,240
Speaker 1: been trying to get closer together. He was jealous and

438
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,240
Speaker 1: when he said come home before my patience runs out.

439
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,959
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, this is a control thing. This is like

440
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:57,359
Speaker 3: anything I say goes and it seems like, oh, you

441
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,480
Speaker 3: went against my word. Now I'm angry. Nah, I think

442
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 3: this is divorce. Divorces. Yeah, you already said it. Divorce

443
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,960
Speaker 3: in the fact that Opie's partner said, oh, you're gonna

444
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:10,000
Speaker 3: choose your sister over me? Come on saying it's a

445
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:14,439
Speaker 3: blood is thicker than water. I mean, yeah, your your

446
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 3: partners say. But I mean if the counteraction was, what

447
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,119
Speaker 3: if I told you to leave your sister for me?

448
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 1: Oo, what would you do?

449
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 3: Then?

450
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,639
Speaker 1: Would he still have the same reaction.

451
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 3: I think his reaction would be like, of course, uh.

452
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,639
Speaker 1: Really, I think his reaction would be, oh, my gosh,

453
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 1: why would you say that? Blah blah blahlah blah blah

454
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 1: blah blah blah.

455
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 3: I yeah, I had a crush on another woman and

456
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,359
Speaker 3: my wife discovered it. A more than marrier, just a

457
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 3: little crush. My wife and I have been married four

458
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 3: years and together for six. I love her deeply. However,

459
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 3: recently I have developed an infatuation for a woman I

460
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 3: work with. Oh boy, eh, stop that, you don't do that.

461
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 3: I did not cheat and have a strictly work relationship

462
00:20:56,040 --> 00:21:00,200
Speaker 3: with her. I recognize my feelings as a mere crush,

463
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,919
Speaker 3: but still felt guilty and needed to talk about it.

464
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user tim bond r

465
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

466
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay storytime separated it So about

467
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 3: two months ago I posted on a forum not read

468
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 3: it about this woman and found sympathy. It helped me

469
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 3: understand how will crushes in a long term relationship work.

470
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 3: A month ago, I came home to my wife having

471
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 3: printed my post. She confronted me and as I was

472
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 3: taken by surprise. I didn't really know how to explain myself.

473
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,919
Speaker 3: Did you use your names? How the heck did she

474
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 3: know it was you? But that's weird. I couldn't lie either,

475
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 3: so I just apologized to her. She read me my

476
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 3: post while crying. I cannot post it entirely here, but

477
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 3: basically I said she was a breath of fresh air.

478
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 3: The reason I'm happy to go to work. I wish

479
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,880
Speaker 3: I could hold her in my arm and know how

480
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 3: she smells. I often dream of her. Sometimes I lie

481
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 3: down and imagine her in front of me. These were

482
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 3: things I was thinking but couldn't say out loud. They

483
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 3: were things that could have been written in a diary.

484
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 3: They were private thoughts, and I never imagined my wife

485
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:03,679
Speaker 3: would read them. In the end, it is just a fantasy. No, no.

486
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 3: Ever since that day, my wife has barely spoken to me.

487
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 3: She refuses to discuss it and won't look at me

488
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 3: in the eye the rare time she addresses me. She

489
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 3: moved into our guest room. She told me she was

490
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 3: getting ready to divorce and would file when she has

491
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,360
Speaker 3: enough money, and that I shouldn't hope that I am

492
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 3: free to pursue that woman. I understand why she is hurt,

493
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 3: but it is just an infatuation. It is not comparable

494
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,640
Speaker 3: to the love and history I have for her. How

495
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,879
Speaker 3: can I get through to her? She told me she

496
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 3: never had feelings for another man and that I betrayed her.

497
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 3: She wants say married to a man who yearns for

498
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 3: another woman. I told her I would change jobs, but

499
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,399
Speaker 3: she just said I'll still dream of her. She is

500
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 3: completely closed off. What can I do? I apologize for errors.

501
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 3: I'm stressed and not a native English speaker, and we

502
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 3: has relative comments.

503
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 1: Rightley, what do we do? Call it a day?

504
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 3: Let work time to make I'm single now I'm ready

505
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,679
Speaker 3: to hold you in my arms. This is terrible.

506
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 1: I need a picture of them as a couple, and

507
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,679
Speaker 1: then a picture of this person that way. Yeah.

508
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:03,679
Speaker 3: The fact that you're like, it's just it's just like

509
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 3: a fantasy. This person is someone you see every single day.

510
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 3: There's a major difference of having like a celebrity crush.

511
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 1: This does feel like a celebrity crush, but they're just

512
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:14,159
Speaker 1: not a celebrity.

513
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 3: No, no, no, like there's like, oh, it's just like, oh,

514
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 3: it's funny, like I have a celebrity crush on Anne

515
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 3: Hathaway great, like it's never got to happen. But it's like, oh,

516
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 3: Anne Hathaway's beautiful, and Carly knows this, and she's like, cool,

517
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,400
Speaker 3: that's funny. And I know Carly has celebrity crushes too,

518
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 3: and I'm like, that's funny.

519
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:29,439
Speaker 1: I'm a great stitch.

520
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 3: But this is not a fantasy, because you are going

521
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 3: into the workplace every single day staring at this woman,

522
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 3: yearning for her. You talk to her, you're friends with her. Yeah,

523
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 3: we have some relevant comments and I want to see

524
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 3: what they're gonna say. Croatian chick. So have you gotten

525
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 3: a new job yet? What have you done to show

526
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 3: your wife that you're serious about your marriage and that

527
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,680
Speaker 3: she's the only one who matters to you. Op He says.

528
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 3: She won't let me talk to her or touch her.

529
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,119
Speaker 3: Sometimes she will leave the room when I come in.

530
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 3: She is like a wall. I tried buying her her

531
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 3: favorite flowers and wrote a card, but she didn't take them.

532
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 3: I'm an invisible to her. I was looking for jobs

533
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 3: when I informed her I would change jobs to avoid

534
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 3: the woman, but she told me not to bother as

535
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 3: she was leaving. In this economy, I cannot easily risk

536
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:19,400
Speaker 3: being unemployed, especially if I will end up divorced. Pancake

537
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 3: Waffle's toast. There's an innocent crush, and then there's wanting

538
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,920
Speaker 3: something to happen between the two of you. Your wife

539
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 3: knows this, everybody knows this, and you should know this.

540
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,919
Speaker 3: You wanted to hold your coworker in your arms, et cetera,

541
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 3: et cetera. It's not the fact that you have a

542
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 3: crush on someone. It happens naturally and it's human nature.

543
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 3: It's the fact that you have had a crush and

544
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,399
Speaker 3: wanted things that happen between you two, and that's what

545
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,120
Speaker 3: broke your wife's heart. Also in the first place, if

546
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 3: you wanted to keep your thoughts private, you shouldn't have

547
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,360
Speaker 3: posted it on the internet.

548
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 1: So you kind of wanted to get caught. This is

549
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 1: kind of what cheating's like. I'll do a little bit cheating.

550
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 1: See if I get caught.

551
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is literally emotionally cheating, even though yet that

552
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 3: you haven't done it, but in your head it's like

553
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,040
Speaker 3: you are. I feel like you're trying at work. I

554
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,399
Speaker 3: feel like you left out with clear details that you're like, Oh,

555
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 3: I want to go talk to this woman at work.

556
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 3: I want to go hang out. I want to be

557
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 3: around her every single time I'm at work. You literally said,

558
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,640
Speaker 3: it's the reason why I go to work. It makes

559
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 3: work happy for me. That's crazy, man. Yeah, we have

560
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 3: an update. Let's just get straight into it. Five months later,

561
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 3: I had forgotten about this post, and I'm back to update.

562
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,400
Speaker 3: So maybe seeing my stupidity could prevent someone else from

563
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 3: making the same mistakes. I cringe when I read today

564
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 3: what I wrote months ago, and it seems ridiculous to

565
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 3: me that I could have felt this way about another woman.

566
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 3: I wrote that I would imagine my former coworker while

567
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 3: lying in bed, But in the end, when my wife

568
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 3: stopped acknowledging my existence, waking up without seeing her face

569
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 3: was just an absolute torture. I really took all I

570
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:48,159
Speaker 3: had for granted until I almost lost it. So I

571
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 3: took some a device and decided to court my wife

572
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 3: again the hardest I could. Of course, the first step

573
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 3: was looking for another job, and it took me a month,

574
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,880
Speaker 3: but I managed to find a similar position in another enterprise.

575
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 3: I did what was suggested of taking over every chore,

576
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,439
Speaker 3: and she stopped ignoring me, but would simply stare at

577
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 3: me with some kind of hostility and go on with

578
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 3: her life. I'd tried flowers, but she would leave them

579
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,400
Speaker 3: to pass away. My wife's dominant love language is physical,

580
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,120
Speaker 3: but I wouldn't dare try touching her, so I went

581
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 3: for telling her. I somehow realized it was really the

582
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 3: content of what I wrote about the other woman, which

583
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 3: obviously when you are deep in a crush, is amplified.

584
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,119
Speaker 3: That really hurt my wife. I tried engaging her in

585
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 3: conversations so we can talk about what was happening to us,

586
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 3: but more importantly, what I did to her, but she

587
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,479
Speaker 3: remained closed off, and so I started writing her letters

588
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 3: and would leave them under her pillow. At first, I

589
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 3: apologized for everything, for writing the post, for not putting

590
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 3: an end to the crush faster, for making her feel

591
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,120
Speaker 3: like another woman could hold a higher place of importance

592
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 3: to me, and for not taking the initiative to change

593
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 3: jobs earlier, and for making her life hard by creating

594
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 3: this situation which ended up her sleeping in the guest

595
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 3: room of her own house. Oh boy, for making her

596
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,400
Speaker 3: and causing stress to her.

597
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: Dude, you got so much to fix, tor, You're battling

598
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 1: up ill battle.

599
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's what you want to do and save

600
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 3: your marriage. That's what you're going to have to do. Yes,

601
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 3: put in the triple effort.

602
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 1: Yeah.

603
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 3: Then I wrote her love letters telling her how much

604
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,679
Speaker 3: I loved her, how the crush couldn't compare to the

605
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 3: deep love I have for her. I was chewed out

606
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 3: for saying I loved her because of our history in

607
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 3: my last post, but I was misunderstood. I meant that

608
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 3: the love I have for her has gotten stronger with time.

609
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 3: Five years ago I loved her but wouldn't have given

610
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 3: her one of my organs if she needed.

611
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 1: Sometimes you dig a hole and you just kind of

612
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 1: break the shovel because you're not getting yourself out of it.

613
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, for example, while now I would without hesitation. That's

614
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 3: a weird way of saying I love you. But okay,

615
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,360
Speaker 3: our history is what caused the attachment to grow stronger.

616
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:51,200
Speaker 3: Therefore no random crush could override that. I was owed

617
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 3: in front of my crush and wrote sappy things about her.

618
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 3: But in the end, I do not know this what

619
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 3: been On a personal level. While I have seen the

620
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,920
Speaker 3: worst of my wife and the love Rema, I told

621
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 3: her how beautiful she was and how impressed and proud

622
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 3: I was with her development as a person since we

623
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 3: have met, how grateful I was for her presence in

624
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,399
Speaker 3: my life and every single thing I was thankful for

625
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 3: that she did and enhanced my life, and how much

626
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 3: I needed her and missed hearing her tell me how

627
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 3: her day went, laugh at my bad jokes, and basically

628
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 3: just missed hearing all the sound of her voice. I

629
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 3: feel like you should have thought of that, you know,

630
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:24,679
Speaker 3: during your crush.

631
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 1: Why are you writing the post for the other chick?

632
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, maybe that should came up. These are all words?

633
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: Does feel real? Yeah, it doesn't feel like you actually

634
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: mean any of this. Yes, trying to make up for.

635
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 3: It, especially from this post. Maybe I don't know, but like,

636
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 3: just stop stop. It's the it's the action speak louder

637
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 3: than the words kind of thing, and I guess you

638
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 3: are doing it, but you know your words were a

639
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 3: lot louder than your actions.

640
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is.

641
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 3: A small sample, but it must have taken a good

642
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 3: three weeks of daily letters until she answered me back.

643
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 3: She answered with a letter of her own, telling me

644
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,479
Speaker 3: how much I have hurt her with my crush, how

645
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 3: I made her feel invisible next to that woman, how

646
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 3: I never told her such loving words until the letters,

647
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 3: how much she hated me, but also how much she

648
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 3: loved me and missed me too. Her letter allowed me

649
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 3: to feel her vulnerability. After reading it, I cried and

650
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 3: went to see her. We locked eyes, she cried, and

651
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 3: we held each other for a long time.

652
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 1: No way.

653
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 3: She started talking to me again then and softened. Honestly,

654
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 3: the possibility of the marriage ending just like that scared

655
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 3: the both of us. It's on you. He's coming back,

656
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 3: He's coming back. I mean, there's a little bit left

657
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 3: to this story. I don't know how this is extreme love.

658
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 3: Her comment is like, you never said any of this

659
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 3: until you got caught, and then you're like, oh, I

660
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 3: got caught red handed. I don't want a divorce. I

661
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 3: don't want any consequences for my actions. And come on,

662
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 3: you know, come on, this is hard. Yeah, I don't

663
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 3: know a couple's therapies required here, because now you're just

664
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 3: love bombing, and what's stopping you from like, all right,

665
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,640
Speaker 3: you did all that work, and what's stopping you from

666
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 3: coming down again and doing the crush thing to another

667
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 3: female coworker. Let's go ahead and continue and finish the story.

668
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 3: As of today, we are, to my surprise, mostly back

669
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 3: to normal, and actually I feel closer to her. We

670
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 3: continue with the letters, which have helped increasing our emotional intimacy.

671
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 3: I make an effort to tell and show her my love.

672
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 3: I am very grateful that she has given me a

673
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 3: second chance, and even more so that she has decided

674
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 3: to put the crush behind us. We had maybe two

675
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 3: fights since, but she hasn't brought it up and doesn't

676
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 3: punish me. It really wasn't the crush on itself, but

677
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 3: how I went about it and the lack of affection

678
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 3: from my part in comparison. Maybe I'm being optimistic here,

679
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 3: but I truly think we are going to get through this.

680
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 3: We will be going to couple counseling after our vacation

681
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 3: just to make sure things are really settled between us,

682
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 3: and we have some final comments Toothless two dash zero.

683
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 3: It's nice how hard you are trying. The thing you

684
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 3: need to continue to work on is not stopping this

685
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,959
Speaker 3: once you have got her completely back. For me, I

686
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 3: would never get over what you said. I would have

687
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 3: filed for immediately. I'm glad things are working out for you.

688
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 3: Though I hope he says thank you, I do not

689
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 3: plan on stopping. I realized I wasn't putting enough work

690
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 3: into my marriage before.

691
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think he's going by the grass is

692
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: greener on the other side. Yeah, but he's like, I

693
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 1: need to water it to make it greener on this side.

694
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 3: And there's a couple more comments terrible dragon for hire. Yeah, buddy,

695
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 3: save the letters. And when you have a fight or

696
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 3: you forget how much you love her, you break that

697
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 3: crap out and remind yourself and the ineffable one. I

698
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 3: would un alive or pass away to see my late

699
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 3: wife again for even one second, treasure her and don't

700
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 3: f up again. And that is the end of that story.

701
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 2: Yes you know that's Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

702
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 3: Here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

703
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. I

704
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 2: let my friend move into my home.

705
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: He trashed it trash pandor.

706
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 2: I, thirty four female, bought my own home in Michigan

707
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 2: a year ago, completely by myself. To this day, every bill,

708
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 2: repair payment, and furnishing has been paid for solely by me.

709
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 2: This is important later and I swear it's a beautiful

710
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,959
Speaker 2: one hundred year old house that I'm hoping to restore

711
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 2: one day. Seems like you're gonna have to do a

712
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 2: lot of restoration now. By the way, this comes from

713
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 2: empty moment four seven two two on the r slash

714
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 2: Charlotte do brat YouTube subreddit, and if you want to

715
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 2: sumit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

716
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 2: story time subreddit. So for context, I was phoned about

717
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 2: five months ago in November by my friend's boyfriend, Alex

718
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 2: thirty six mail because he'd lost his job. They were

719
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 2: thinking of moving to the area I'd bought a house

720
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 2: in and wanted to be roommates until they could get

721
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 2: back onto their feet. At this time, they lived two

722
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 2: states away from where I own a home, and since

723
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 2: the rental lease was upcome April, they were going to

724
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 2: need somewhere in between to at least move their stuff

725
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 2: to while they looked for a place. I agreed under

726
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 2: the stipulations that since I travel for work, they a

727
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 2: maintain the house's current state of cleanliness. I'm not a

728
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 2: clean freak, but I expect a reasonably tidy home. No

729
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 2: underwear on the floor and shared spaces, no rotting food

730
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 2: on the counters or in the fridge, vacuum once a week,

731
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 2: wash your dishes, clean the bathroom once a week, et cetera.

732
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 1: Sounds pretty easy.

733
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, that doesn't seem hard at all. Just don't keep

734
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 2: running food in the fridge. B We all later discussed

735
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 2: and agreed that they together would pay half of the

736
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 2: mortgage payment, which was less than half their existing rent,

737
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 2: plus whatever gas electric they used while I wasn't home.

738
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 2: I would pay sewer, water, garbage collection, my half of

739
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 2: the mortgage, and repairs and maintenance normal house stuff. I

740
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 2: pay my mortgage at the end of the current month

741
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 2: for the next month, so I'm never late on payments

742
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 2: with banking errors or whatnot. See, no one would come

743
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 2: over the house when I wasn't there that I hadn't

744
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 2: already met. I have multiple different past traumas regarding my

745
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 2: home space being mistreated, robbed, and destroyed that I requested

746
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 2: to have respected d The bulk of their stuff would

747
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 2: be stored in the massive room downstairs and the bedroom

748
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 2: I provided second only to the master, besides obvious things

749
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 2: like hygiene products in the bathroom and pans in the kitchen,

750
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 2: et cetera. Ease Since they were moving from out of

751
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 2: state and I'm working out of state, open. Communication has

752
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 2: to be kept about who is at the house and

753
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:06,959
Speaker 2: when on both sides, so that if a bill has

754
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 2: to be picked up, a service call has to be

755
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 2: dealt with, or something is wrong, we know who is

756
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 2: at the house, so it can be dealt with. F

757
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 2: we'd partner collectively for someone to be at the house

758
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,280
Speaker 2: if any services have to be done. Gee, if something

759
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 2: needs to be borrowed, it needs to be expressly discussed beforehand,

760
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 2: not an afterthought or something I find out later. That's

761
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,919
Speaker 2: a huge breach at my trust. H I have three

762
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 2: people in my life that have expressed permission to be

763
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 2: at my house for asylum. The agreed this list was

764
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 2: one hundred percent fare. They know all three people and

765
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 2: understood their situations were rocky and they could need to

766
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,240
Speaker 2: get out of their homes at a moment's noticed. However,

767
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 2: as soon as I knew this could be possible, either

768
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 2: myself or these individuals would let them know so they

769
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:47,800
Speaker 2: wouldn't be surprised.

770
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:52,360
Speaker 1: Okay, real quick, Yeah, forgiving these people disagreement, Do you

771
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 1: have any inklink that they will not hold up to this?

772
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 2: Yeah? Like, do you know anything about their previous apartments.

773
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 1: Have been Yeah? Because I would be do you have

774
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 1: any who are your previous.

775
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 2: Landloris lamor yeah, do call up the landlords. I think

776
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 2: that if you are this kind of worried and have

777
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 2: had bad experiences before, I don't think it's wrong to

778
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,399
Speaker 2: be like, I need your references and stuff. I want

779
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 2: to make sure. Let's have a contract. Let's not just

780
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 2: say this out loud and expected to happen. They're living

781
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 2: in a place that you own, so there has to

782
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 2: be a little bit of you know, logistical talk happening

783
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:29,400
Speaker 2: that involves contracts.

784
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 1: Because with all these rules that you have, yeah, that

785
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,320
Speaker 1: you've laid down, I can already see what's about to happen.

786
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:34,800
Speaker 3: Yep.

787
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 2: I I wouldn't clean out my library from the room

788
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 2: they were moving into, but would leave the guest bed

789
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 2: and dresser so they had furniture to move stuff into.

790
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:45,240
Speaker 2: There was still plenty of space to put additional furniture.

791
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 2: This was just to get them started further. Whenever I'd

792
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 2: reach out to my friend prior to this and his

793
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,760
Speaker 2: girlfriend Anna thirty seven female about arrangements, either she'd defer

794
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 2: the conversation to Alex or he'd randomly start messaging me

795
00:35:57,040 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 2: about the conversation so all communication that wasn't in person

796
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,240
Speaker 2: between the three of us was between him and I.

797
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,839
Speaker 2: We had this conversation of terms and agreed to them

798
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 2: all in person in February of this year. By the

799
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 2: beginning of March, I had no room to sit on

800
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 2: my couch because it was overrun with stuffed animals.

801
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay.

802
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:18,360
Speaker 2: Seems like a really easy fix.

803
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 1: They like to go to the carnival lot.

804
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like those giant like pandas. Alex had

805
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 2: moved in the house completely and had been living there

806
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 2: since the middle of February without informing me to start

807
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 2: the job he'd gotten in the area. Great. I asked

808
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 2: if this meant he was moving up when we agreed

809
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 2: to rent starting since he'd moved in early. He seemed cobsmacked.

810
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,799
Speaker 2: He asked, well, why would we do that? I said,

811
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 2: because you moved in early. Literally every bill has gone

812
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 2: up because you've been there. You'll have been here a

813
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 2: full month and a half earlier than we agreed to.

814
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 2: I'm doing you a favor, and because you haven't communicated

815
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 2: with me, I'm supposed to eat the living costs of

816
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 2: you being here. He then claimed he thought he'd talked

817
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,080
Speaker 2: to me about him moving in early. Come on, you

818
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,720
Speaker 2: don't just forget that you haven't talked to your freaking

819
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 2: friends slash Landlord.

820
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,439
Speaker 1: Ridiculou number one.

821
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, spoiler alert, he hadn't even mentioned it. Yeah, no, kidden,

822
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 2: only that he'd gotten a job, but no start date. Nothing.

823
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:18,360
Speaker 2: We addressed his lack of communication. He promised to do better.

824
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 2: He'd pay his half a quarter of the mortgage for

825
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 2: the month of March since he was there and he

826
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,879
Speaker 2: didn't communicate, and we'd all move on as this was fair.

827
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 2: At this point, it wasn't about the money, but the principle.

828
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 2: Our friend group at a very late friend's Christmas party.

829
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 2: Due to all our schedules being completely conflicting. During this party,

830
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 2: I hosted alone, even though Alex and Anna were both

831
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,359
Speaker 2: in town for this party, so I did almost all

832
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 2: the cooking. Some friends brought food to make or just

833
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 2: to serve Potlock style. I did all the cleaning. The

834
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 2: only thing I asked was that Alex take the garbage

835
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 2: out and to the curb on Monday, our garbage day.

836
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 2: This was on Saturday, as I had to leave town

837
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 2: to return to work and wouldn't be back for at

838
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,280
Speaker 2: least three weeks, he agreed. I went back to work.

839
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,840
Speaker 2: All's fine and dandy until I get a Facebook message

840
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 2: from the previous owners of my home informing me that

841
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 2: the neighbors reached out to them in desperation because it'd

842
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 2: been almost a week and they couldn't get a hold

843
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 2: of me or anyone at the house. My neighbor had

844
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 2: hit the gas meter on my house and our gas

845
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 2: was shut off. So I call Alex because if he

846
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 2: turns any fire on in the house, it could blow

847
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm so scared. This is when I

848
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,959
Speaker 2: find out not only has he lost his new job,

849
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 2: he has also moved back to Iowa in the meantime

850
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:30,800
Speaker 2: to continue packing and moving their stuff into my house

851
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 2: without bothering to tell me.

852
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 1: Okay, so he's not there.

853
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 2: Well, at least your house isn't gonna blow up.

854
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

855
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 2: At this point, I'll admit I lost my cool. I'm

856
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 2: at work six hours away, desperately trying to make it

857
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 2: back to my home that has said the gas shut

858
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 2: off during nearly freezing temperatures that the gas company cannot

859
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 2: turn back on without having someone in the house to

860
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 2: let them in. And this is when I find out

861
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 2: he's not even in the state. He said, Oh, I

862
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 2: thought I told you. I must have forgotten.

863
00:38:56,640 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 1: Hey, don't forget to stop packing because you're not going yeah, yeah, anymore.

864
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 2: Oh, I forgot to tell you you're not about to

865
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 2: be in the house anymore.

866
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 1: This was a fun idea.

867
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, it didn't work out.

868
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 1: Not gonna happen, not gonna.

869
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,439
Speaker 2: Work, Bud. Sorry, I'm sorry. I can add there now

870
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 2: if you, like I said, forget it. I hung up

871
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 2: on him and called a friend, Ken, who lives almost

872
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 2: two hours away, for help. Ken got to the house,

873
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 2: checked it all out. It's all fine. Crisis averted. I

874
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 2: find out also around this time that, oh, by the way,

875
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,839
Speaker 2: during the last set of storms that blew your way,

876
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 2: you have a whole corner of the roof shingles that

877
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 2: are completely ripped off your house. You might want to

878
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 2: get those looked at. Awesome, Alex informs me the next

879
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 2: day he's coming back into town with a load of

880
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,359
Speaker 2: their stuff to drop off so he can be there

881
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 2: when the gas company arrives to turn everything back on.

882
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 2: Ken agrees to be there for the roof repairs. That's great.

883
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 2: I turn back around and go back to work. Gas

884
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 2: meter gets fixed. Neighbor's super sorry. I get a service

885
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 2: order with dates put in for the roof. Life moves on.

886
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,959
Speaker 2: I come home after the three weeks of being gone

887
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 2: to all the lights in the basement on, and my

888
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 2: house smells rotten. No imagine musty, moldy chicken, soured honey, ham,

889
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 2: spoiled green beans, and other vegetables. I cannot recall or

890
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 2: recognize old gas station food wrappers that got caught in

891
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 2: the mix and couldn't escape. Truly rantsid stuff. So I

892
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 2: asked Alex why the lights were on. He said he

893
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 2: must have forgotten about them when he was there two

894
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:32,880
Speaker 2: weeks ago. This is his favorite reply.

895
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:37,240
Speaker 1: Dude, I forgot. Here's what you do. You take everything

896
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 1: out of the house, get away, Yeah, change the locks,

897
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 1: all that jazz, and when he comes in, try and

898
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 1: you know, get back in the house. Why can I

899
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,120
Speaker 1: get in? Oh I forgot. I'd chanse the locks. Oh

900
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 1: I forgot, Like you're not living here.

901
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:54,839
Speaker 2: Totally slipped my mind. Sorry, Please, OP, say for this.

902
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 2: You can't, I mean, like at this point, like Op,

903
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 2: he's already said, oh, forget it, don't worry about Like no,

904
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,400
Speaker 2: The first sign of that trouble. You're like, okay, I'm sorry.

905
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,359
Speaker 2: I'm not in the statem. You know I'm not close

906
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,720
Speaker 2: by him six hours away. We have made a deal.

907
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 2: Are we gonna have to sign a more thorough contract

908
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,359
Speaker 2: that says what I need you to do, because right

909
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 2: now you're not fulfilling your end of the bargain? I said,

910
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 2: that cannot happen unless you're paying the bill. He apologized,

911
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 2: We move on. I then ask if he ever took

912
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 2: the garbage out after the party like we talked about it. Responds, no,

913
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 2: I haven't been there. I have been at the house

914
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 2: about as much as you have been the last few weeks.

915
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:28,319
Speaker 3: Lol.

916
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 2: I said, so, the one thing I implicitly asked you

917
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 2: to do, you couldn't be bothered. I lost my cool

918
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,360
Speaker 2: again and hung up on him. So I went to

919
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 2: the fridge. Sure enough, the food I spent one hundreds

920
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 2: of dollars on hours cooking, weeks planning was rotting in

921
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,359
Speaker 2: the fridge because even though he'd said he'd be there

922
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,920
Speaker 2: to eat it and was looking forward to enjoying the leftovers,

923
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 2: he'd left him in the fridge to rots. I checked

924
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 2: the garbage can. Sure enough, it was full of rotten food,

925
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 2: additional garbage he'd added since he was back and forth,

926
00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 2: and maggots. I saw red. I took all the food

927
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 2: out of the fridge and threw it all away, and

928
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 2: spent the next two hours airing out and cleaning my house,

929
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 2: dishes and fridge. By the time I was done, the

930
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 2: house was back to its clean state. I could breathe again,

931
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 2: and the smell of rancid passed away. Raccoon had finally faded.

932
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 2: Let me tell you that was the coldest cleaning day

933
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 2: in my existence. One hundred percent. Do not recommend. I

934
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,319
Speaker 2: addressed it with him, got half hearted apology at best,

935
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 2: and we moved on.

936
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:24,839
Speaker 1: The girl.

937
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 2: Stop moving on, girl. This is where you say, I'm

938
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:29,879
Speaker 2: drawing the line.

939
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:31,879
Speaker 1: Drawing the line and singing him an invoice.

940
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, the cleaning exactly.

941
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 1: Oh you can't pay it, SKay. I got a lot

942
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 1: of your stuff here I can probably sell. Yeah, that

943
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,400
Speaker 1: might not be worth anything. Oh my gosh.

944
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 2: I found Christmas toats on sale, which I needed to

945
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 2: put away at my Christmas decorations. I knew they were moving,

946
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:48,600
Speaker 2: so I asked Alex if he wanted any of them.

947
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 2: He asked for five. I said, okay, pay me back

948
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 2: when you get the chance, and brought both his and

949
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:55,799
Speaker 2: my note. Flash forward a couple of weeks. All the

950
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 2: tots are gone except for one. I was already using

951
00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 2: every single one of the eleven that we're in. We're gone,

952
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 2: so I asked Alex about them. He said, oh, I

953
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 2: thought we talked about those. I took them back to

954
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 2: iwey with me while I fill them with our stuff

955
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,439
Speaker 2: to bring things back with. I said, we talked about

956
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 2: the five you asked for that you haven't paid for yet,

957
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 2: not all eleven. I'd like mine back so I could

958
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 2: put my Christmas decorations back. It's February, they shouldn't still

959
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 2: be up. He said, Oh my bad. I'll buy new

960
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 2: ones and move our stuff over as soon as I

961
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 2: get back. I figured this was the end of it. Nope.

962
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 2: He buys new totes, sends me a picture of the

963
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 2: different colored totes and says, here are your new totes.

964
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 2: I'll bring them to the house next time i'm there.

965
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 2: Excuse me, you say what so? I said, Oh, that's kind. However,

966
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 2: you can just return my totes, no big deal. He

967
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 2: starts trying to convince me just to leave them with

968
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 2: the tots they took from me, since these are the

969
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:47,759
Speaker 2: exact same model totes, so they didn't have to move

970
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 2: their stuff out of the ones I'd bought. I repeated,

971
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 2: I just like mine back, thank you, you finally rented,

972
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 2: And I figure that was that. I mean, if op

973
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:00,320
Speaker 2: he's getting this upset about totes, kick this guy out.

974
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 2: You hate him, you hate him?

975
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: Dang totes. Toats is such a funny word.

976
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 2: It is a funny word. I agree. It's been a

977
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 2: month and he still hasn't moved their stuff out of

978
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:13,760
Speaker 2: my toats so I can put my Christmas decorations away properly.

979
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 2: It's now the middle of April and the empty and

980
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 2: full toats are both still there.

981
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,320
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, girl, dump about what are we doing?

982
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 2: But now I'm getting ahead of myself. Back to March,

983
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,560
Speaker 2: Alex calls me and informs me that Hey, during one

984
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 2: of his job interviews, they asked him if he'd be

985
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 2: willing to relocate to Indiana for work. Anna and I

986
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:37,240
Speaker 2: discussed it, and there's nothing really holding us to Michigan,

987
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 2: so we agreed we'd go start looking for and applying

988
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 2: for jobs in Indiana. I have a friend who lives

989
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 2: down there that I've already talked to, who said we

990
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 2: could live with them until we get a place, and

991
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 2: we'll just leave all our stuff in Michigan with you

992
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:52,319
Speaker 2: until we actually buy a place. This way we don't

993
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 2: have to move stuff again and again until then.

994
00:44:54,640 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 1: Buy a storage unit, storage unit? The purpose of that? Girl?

995
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:03,320
Speaker 1: If you don't put this house on Airbnb, what do

996
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 1: you do? What you're losing money?

997
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:07,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, Alex hadn't even applied for the job yet, but

998
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 2: they'd already worked out alternate accommodations. He'd set up the

999
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:13,279
Speaker 2: interview for there, and they had plans in place for it.

1000
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:13,840
Speaker 3: Cool.

1001
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 2: Thanks for putting into consideration all I've done for you

1002
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 2: and everything You've given your word for nothing that really

1003
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 2: held you here. But good for you, buddy. I took

1004
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 2: this to mean I didn't need to finish cleaning up

1005
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 2: the bedroom they were moving into, as they were no

1006
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 2: longer moving in. I even confirmed where am I to

1007
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 2: HOW'SE guests? Since you are not moving in as I

1008
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,359
Speaker 2: normally did, was the response. So I left the room

1009
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 2: alone and continued on with everything else I had to do.

1010
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 2: I find out a week later that Alex got the job. However,

1011
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 2: he's worried he won't be able to keep it as

1012
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:46,359
Speaker 2: the one he got fired from maybe caused him to

1013
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 2: lose the job he'd had for maybe two weeks. I

1014
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 2: asked him why was that. He said, Oh, because I

1015
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 2: got fired from the first one for stealing from the

1016
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:58,320
Speaker 2: company and getting caught. I panic, say, what the ethnicw

1017
00:45:58,600 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 2: this is OPI's trauma?

1018
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 1: Is this your line? Wait? Her trauma? Yeah?

1019
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:05,000
Speaker 2: She said that she had terrible experiences of people trashing

1020
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,439
Speaker 2: her house and stealing from her.

1021
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 1: I thought this was happening.

1022
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 2: Now it is, But she also had past experiences where

1023
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:11,359
Speaker 2: people did that.

1024
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 1: Okay, that makes sense. Sorry, I'm not saying like her

1025
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 1: trauma's bad, but if someone's like trashing her house, wouldn't

1026
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:17,719
Speaker 1: you draw the line there?

1027
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,399
Speaker 2: You would think, hey, oh no, you're not coming over here.

1028
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 2: But OPI's very easily swayed girl.

1029
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 1: You can have boundaries. I don't think she knows the

1030
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 1: definition of boundaries.

1031
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 2: I don't think so She's like, Oh, I don't know,

1032
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 2: be annoyed at them, but invite them in your house.

1033
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 2: That's a boundary.

1034
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:34,640
Speaker 1: I just you know, clean up after room. Why not?

1035
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:37,800
Speaker 2: So during this conversation, Ken is at the house for

1036
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,920
Speaker 2: the roof pear. I call him to ask him to

1037
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,319
Speaker 2: go through my house. He says he'll go through the house,

1038
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 2: but the roof repair is done. Everything's good. I let

1039
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:49,359
Speaker 2: Alex and Anna know. Everything's good, yay, until I got

1040
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:51,719
Speaker 2: a call back from Ken. He tells me the house

1041
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 2: doesn't look like anything's missing, But what happened to my house?

1042
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:57,320
Speaker 2: I'm confused and anxious. What's wrong?

1043
00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:57,839
Speaker 1: He said?

1044
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 2: There's stuff everywhere. I said, I'll take care but once

1045
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:02,840
Speaker 2: I'm own, because I cannot handle it at this point

1046
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 2: and it's only one week. But thanks for letting me know.

1047
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 2: Ken also asks me if there's any reason why the

1048
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:10,399
Speaker 2: big smit lights were left on when he got there.

1049
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 2: I said no and asked Alex. He'd forgotten to turn

1050
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 2: them off again when he was there earlier in the week,

1051
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 2: so he'd been adding to the electric bill for almost

1052
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:21,440
Speaker 2: a week.

1053
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 1: Again, Girl, why are you so nice? This is what

1054
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 1: happens whenever you have chronic pepe.

1055
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you just let people walk all over you.

1056
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 1: You have no backbone, you got your wet toast. Fine,

1057
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:33,359
Speaker 1: please don't do this.

1058
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,800
Speaker 2: Hi to take this further. In the middle of March,

1059
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 2: I became extremely sick was almost hospitalized, and we're still

1060
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:43,120
Speaker 2: not exactly sure what was wrong. It wasn't the FID,

1061
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:45,160
Speaker 2: but that's all we know for sure. So long story

1062
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:48,239
Speaker 2: short there is I didn't make it home for that

1063
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 2: week that I was supposed to anyway, I was supposed

1064
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 2: to help them move the rest of their stuff into

1065
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:56,400
Speaker 2: my house during that time. I blame the curse of

1066
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 2: the People. Please, we called it. We called it for

1067
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 2: offering in the first place. Stop CPP get fixed too,

1068
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,800
Speaker 2: you get out today for nineteen ninety nine.

1069
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 1: Call somebody, Call someone.

1070
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:09,760
Speaker 2: Obviously, I was too sick to do this and stay

1071
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:11,879
Speaker 2: with my boyfriend during this time so he could take

1072
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 2: care of me. When I got back to my house

1073
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 2: after being really sick, I find their stuff everywhere. There

1074
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 2: is now officially two rooms in the entire house that

1075
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:22,280
Speaker 2: do not have a single item of theirs. The only

1076
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 2: rooms not conquered by their stuff my bedroom and the

1077
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 2: laundry room. At this point, I'm livid. We had set

1078
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 2: guidelines and discussions in place. Why is my house now

1079
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 2: overrun by their stuff when this is expressly not what

1080
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 2: we agreed on when I texted to ask about it.

1081
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:41,759
Speaker 2: Because I now trust nothing verbally discussed Alex hops in

1082
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:43,799
Speaker 2: to inform me that they had issues with some of

1083
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 2: the items being too heavy, so they put them at

1084
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:48,319
Speaker 2: the bottom of the stairs and that will be the

1085
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:50,760
Speaker 2: first stuff taken out as soon as they get a place.

1086
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 2: I asked about the dresser in the dining room and

1087
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:56,320
Speaker 2: was informed that's because the bedroom wasn't clean out. Like disgust,

1088
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 2: I said, that's because you said you weren't moving in.

1089
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:03,080
Speaker 1: Never try to reason with the fool You're reasoning time

1090
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:03,760
Speaker 1: and time again.

1091
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't understand what you're saying. You're gonna say

1092
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 2: why did you do this? And he's going to I forgot.

1093
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 1: That's the only response he has.

1094
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 2: He doesn't remember any other responses. He's got one. That's it.

1095
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 2: I said, that's because you said you weren't moving in.

1096
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 2: Why would I clean out a bedroom you're not moving into.

1097
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 2: I asked about the stuffed animals. He said, oh, yeah,

1098
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 2: I didn't have space in the bedroom. I told them

1099
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 2: we discussed this before. I cannot sit on my couches.

1100
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 2: That's not what we agreed on. They needed to be moved.

1101
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 2: The stuff in the garage. I wanted to mount them

1102
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 2: in the basement, but wanted to wait to talk to

1103
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 2: you first, so we agreed on where to put them in.

1104
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:42,800
Speaker 2: The rolling bar was too heavy to go down your stairs.

1105
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 2: I asked, why you're not moving in? Remember also, if

1106
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 2: you need to make adjustments, you should have asked or

1107
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,840
Speaker 2: talk to me, not just put stuff anywhere. We discussed

1108
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:56,800
Speaker 2: a set place, and none of these are in that place.

1109
00:49:57,040 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 2: It's been weeks, almost a month since this discussion. They

1110
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:02,240
Speaker 2: haven't moved. Kick them out.

1111
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:03,439
Speaker 1: Kick them out.

1112
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 2: It's to the point that when I come home, I

1113
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:07,920
Speaker 2: go to my boyfriend's house instead of my own because

1114
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:10,919
Speaker 2: mine is being overrun by roommates that are not even

1115
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 2: living there. Ken is literally begging me to change the

1116
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,200
Speaker 2: locks in the house, give him a key and he'll

1117
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:18,360
Speaker 2: meet them whenever they need to go at thous so

1118
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,800
Speaker 2: that I don't have to worry about my stuff being stolen.

1119
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 2: And I'm to the point of sincerely wondering if my

1120
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 2: kindness was a mistake. Yeah, well the problem is that

1121
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 2: your kindness is fine, but you just didn't set any

1122
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 2: boundaries in an effective way. So fast forward to today.

1123
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 2: I found out the dates for the next time I'm

1124
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 2: to be home. I'd like to set up to have

1125
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:41,240
Speaker 2: some work done on the house to recap. It's now April.

1126
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,720
Speaker 2: I haven't been paid a single penny, not for the toats,

1127
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 2: the bills, the rent, or at this point for storage.

1128
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 2: Oh pee, you gotta do something. I'm paying for when

1129
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 2: Alex was living a the house and for them to

1130
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,840
Speaker 2: store their stuff at my house. Alex is a thief

1131
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:55,719
Speaker 2: and didn't bother to tell me until it was too

1132
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 2: late for me to refuse for them because they had

1133
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:01,760
Speaker 2: keys to my house. They barely, if at all, notify

1134
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 2: me when they're coming and going in the house. My

1135
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 2: Christmas toats are still full of their stuff. My house

1136
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:08,439
Speaker 2: is overrun by their stuff, even though they're not even

1137
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 2: living there, but are living in and only visit maybe

1138
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:13,840
Speaker 2: once a week to pick up the mail. I receive

1139
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 2: no communication regarding their comings and goings in my house.

1140
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 2: I'm getting reports that the house is basically trash right now,

1141
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 2: but I haven't seen it to confirm. They're not upholding

1142
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:25,520
Speaker 2: their agreements at all, and that's when you kick them out.

1143
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 2: That's what agreements are for. If they're not upholding them,

1144
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 2: you say goodbye. I'm sure there's more that I've either

1145
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 2: forgotten or am just too exhausted from my newfound lifestyle

1146
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 2: as a writer on here to type out either way,

1147
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 2: the facts are that I'm starting to feel really used

1148
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:42,160
Speaker 2: and would really just like to have my house back.

1149
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:44,800
Speaker 2: So would I be the able for changing the locks

1150
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 2: on my house after agreeing to let them live with me?

1151
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 2: So they have to actually hold to their agreements notify

1152
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 2: me when they're coming and going to the house. I

1153
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:54,880
Speaker 2: actually have locks that work for all my doors, and

1154
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 2: I can have some peace of mind and control back

1155
00:51:57,239 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 2: over my own home. There is an update, folks, but

1156
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:03,280
Speaker 2: he keeps saying like they didn't listen. They violated the agreements.

1157
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 2: They violated the agreements. If someone violates your agreements, you

1158
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:10,480
Speaker 2: set a boundary, You say, Okay, if you do this,

1159
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 2: this will happen.

1160
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 1: Draw a line in the same a line. I think

1161
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 1: that's her problem. She has these boundaries and things, but

1162
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,840
Speaker 1: herself so easily moved, she just doesn't draw that line

1163
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 1: at all, and she just puts.

1164
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:23,760
Speaker 2: Herself months not paying anything.

1165
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:26,439
Speaker 1: You know, it's money you're losing driving six hours there

1166
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 1: and back.

1167
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 2: Exactly to check on the house that they're ruining. Like,

1168
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 2: if they are ruining it, you have reasonable cause to say,

1169
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:36,800
Speaker 2: get out this isn't working. Yeah, but there's an update.

1170
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 2: I really hope that you get rid of them. I

1171
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 2: changed the locks finally. As many of you pointed out,

1172
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:45,280
Speaker 2: I had indeed given Alex and Anna too many chances

1173
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,319
Speaker 2: and had now effectively taken up residents as a door mat.

1174
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:50,280
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Anna is the wife.

1175
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:52,279
Speaker 2: I think so. So while I was home from my

1176
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 2: workout of state, I scheduled some maintenance and added some

1177
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:57,919
Speaker 2: new rules. They can only enter the house if Ken

1178
00:52:57,960 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 2: and I are present, as we have the only keys.

1179
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 2: They need to get their mail forwarded to their new address,

1180
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 2: or have it go to the post office for them

1181
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 2: to receive it, as I no longer want it coming

1182
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:10,400
Speaker 2: somewhere they are not living. They have until the end

1183
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 2: of the month to get their stuff out of my

1184
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 2: house or I will. I also have my totes back,

1185
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,799
Speaker 2: Let's go. He loves these totes. The Christmas decorations are

1186
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 2: finally down and stored properly. I really think that was

1187
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,319
Speaker 2: a lot easier than you made it seem. I feel

1188
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,399
Speaker 2: like we just could have emptied the totes out.

1189
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 1: I don't think so.

1190
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:30,719
Speaker 2: Who knew that would be such a ridiculously eventful situation.

1191
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,959
Speaker 2: Oh and for the tea. Anna was one hundred percent

1192
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,239
Speaker 2: in the dark about what Alex was pulling. She had

1193
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:39,399
Speaker 2: no idea he wasn't communicating with me, and as he's

1194
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 2: been lying to her about it from the beginning and

1195
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 2: insisting on handling everything to make it easier on her,

1196
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 2: or or she's lying she forgot. Yeah, She's like, he

1197
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,719
Speaker 2: never told me, and Alex is like, no, I definitely did,

1198
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,239
Speaker 2: and she's like, I forgot. That has now been rectified

1199
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:57,840
Speaker 2: after he received a wonderfully glorious butchering when I surprised

1200
00:53:57,840 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 2: the two of them at my house to confront them

1201
00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 2: at the BS they've been pulling. My only regret about

1202
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:06,560
Speaker 2: the conversation that I hadn't made popcorn to enjoy the show.

1203
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:10,720
Speaker 2: And there is a second update, and I think final update, folks,

1204
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 2: but I think will be finally is developing that spine

1205
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:16,920
Speaker 2: that she's been lacking the whole story.

1206
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 1: My heart has been just like this whole time. This

1207
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:21,840
Speaker 1: is wild.

1208
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 2: It is I think that again, anyone out there is

1209
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:27,759
Speaker 2: doing a favor for her friend, if it is longer

1210
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 2: than you know, a couple of weeks, if it is

1211
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:33,640
Speaker 2: more expensive than a couple like a hundred of bucks

1212
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 2: I don't know. Then write up a contract, write up

1213
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:38,799
Speaker 2: some agreements about when you want that money back, about

1214
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 2: when you want them to leave, about what you want

1215
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:43,399
Speaker 2: them to do. Well, they're at that place, and if

1216
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 2: they break it, they're done. They're gone. But there is

1217
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 2: a second update and final update. I have my house back.

1218
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:52,400
Speaker 2: There are about one hundred percent moved out. I would be

1219
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 2: so excited. It seems that even after our conversation at

1220
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,880
Speaker 2: the house, that Alex still had much he'd kept Anna

1221
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 2: in the dark about. It seems their relationship but it

1222
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 2: might be a bit more precarious all of a sudden. However,

1223
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:07,239
Speaker 2: that's not my story to tell. So after our brief conversation,

1224
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 2: I began working in the shadows. I compiled a detailed

1225
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 2: timeline with receipts of costs, broken agreements, breakdowns in communication,

1226
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,360
Speaker 2: and where exactly he had begun to take advantage. I

1227
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:20,880
Speaker 2: typed this up and send it first to her with

1228
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:22,960
Speaker 2: a brief message at the top stating that I don't

1229
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 2: know what she has been aware of or not, but

1230
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,360
Speaker 2: here are the facts as I know them. Then again

1231
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:30,240
Speaker 2: I sent the same message to him with read receipts

1232
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:33,200
Speaker 2: to prove they've seen them. I gave them until April

1233
00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 2: thirtieth to remove all of their belongings. She apologized profusely

1234
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:38,960
Speaker 2: and stated he had much to work on and that

1235
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:41,480
Speaker 2: she would be more present in the lines of communication

1236
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 2: going forward, since that is clearly one of his opportunities.

1237
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:47,319
Speaker 2: There is a little bit left to this story. Do

1238
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,360
Speaker 2: you have any final thoughts? Yeah, I mean she cannot

1239
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:51,280
Speaker 2: catch a break.

1240
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 1: Hope he can't catch a break? Yeah, either, Anna. I

1241
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 1: don't know how much I'll buy this Anna story.

1242
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:58,839
Speaker 2: I don't know if I buy it, because how did

1243
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 2: she not know? I mean, like they were living in

1244
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,880
Speaker 2: a pigstye? Was she not there? Was she not never around?

1245
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 2: Suspicious very But Opie's finally kicked him out, so let's

1246
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:11,919
Speaker 2: bring her home. He also apologized, but in a sort

1247
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,760
Speaker 2: of backhanded way that didn't really feel like an apology,

1248
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 2: and said he'd make it up to me as it

1249
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:20,400
Speaker 2: was his responsibility. Listen to anyone else, Eat and Crow,

1250
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,760
Speaker 2: Maybe don't use the term to your standards in any

1251
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:27,759
Speaker 2: capacity when apologizing. It doesn't feel sincere we agreed on

1252
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:30,000
Speaker 2: a date and time of pickup, they showed up with

1253
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:32,480
Speaker 2: a moving truck. Well, Ken, he really is a godsend

1254
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 2: of a friend was working on some repairs for me

1255
00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:39,560
Speaker 2: and collected everything they had at the house. It's gloriously

1256
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 2: empty now. I've never thought I'd empathize so much with

1257
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:45,359
Speaker 2: the quiet now, but the shadows are welcoming. Oh and

1258
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:48,759
Speaker 2: it's in writing. He's paying me every penny he owes me,

1259
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 2: or they'll be facing legal action. Ken and I will

1260
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:56,319
Speaker 2: be going for a much deserved sushi, sake and massage

1261
00:56:56,600 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 2: paid for by me as a treated break from this chaos.

1262
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:03,319
Speaker 1: Right, love to see it.

1263
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:06,920
Speaker 2: Thank you everyone. Sometimes the people pleaser and me needs

1264
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:10,279
Speaker 2: to remember that myself and my peace of mind are

1265
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 2: worth defending too.

1266
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1267
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,960
Speaker 3: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

1268
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:16,880
Speaker 3: that keep the show going.

1269
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,760
Speaker 1: I refuse to attend my friend's wedding because of what

1270
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:21,320
Speaker 1: they did.

1271
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:22,920
Speaker 2: Keep your mouth shut.

1272
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 1: My husband and I were close with another couple constant

1273
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 1: double date game nights. We hosted a weekly D and

1274
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 1: D that one of them, DMed oh, picked up hobbies together,

1275
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:35,360
Speaker 1: and generally did a lot together. That's until my health

1276
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 1: significantly declined, like a couple of surgeries in three months,

1277
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 1: recovery symptoms and what led to surgery. By the way,

1278
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:44,080
Speaker 1: this comes from a user, something clever and if you

1279
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 1: want some of your own stories, what are your slash

1280
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 1: okay story time celebread it so she would mock the

1281
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 1: fact that I was always sick by the time I

1282
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:54,480
Speaker 1: had surgeries and found answers. They were more or less

1283
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:57,080
Speaker 1: not close enough for us to share my condition or

1284
00:57:57,200 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 1: what I had surgery. We did reconact between surger, filled

1285
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 1: them and invited them to be with our two witnesses

1286
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 1: at our courthouse wedding. She'd climbed. She said that they

1287
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:09,720
Speaker 1: had worked that day, not during the wedding, but a

1288
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 1: couple hours after.

1289
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:13,160
Speaker 2: She's like, I've got to keep the whole day free.

1290
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 1: My husband was also insulted, but we decided we didn't

1291
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:19,800
Speaker 1: know the situation with her work, how it impacted her

1292
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:23,200
Speaker 1: asking to come in late, requesting time off. We're switching shifts.

1293
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:27,440
Speaker 1: My issue is she never acknowledged me since no ngrats,

1294
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:29,960
Speaker 1: no sorry, I couldn't make it. Just a joy message

1295
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:32,160
Speaker 1: from them to my husband two or three days after

1296
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:34,520
Speaker 1: the wedding asking for the ride to the airport. On

1297
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:37,880
Speaker 1: top of that, my surgery was a day after our wedding,

1298
00:58:38,160 --> 00:58:41,640
Speaker 1: which they knew. I also couldn't set up by myself,

1299
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 1: so I was extra hurt that they thought that this

1300
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 1: was appropriate. Honestly surprised at this point that they didn't

1301
00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 1: twist the knife and deeper and ask us to how

1302
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 1: sit their dog that isn't housebroken. Seems like they were

1303
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 1: more resourceful enough to take care of their dog. They

1304
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 1: had options other than asking us for a ride. I

1305
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 1: don't want to guess that they were being so crappy.

1306
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:02,600
Speaker 1: It has now been three months. A month ago, my

1307
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:04,800
Speaker 1: husband planned to talk to him on an outing he

1308
00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 1: planned while she was at work, but in another absolute insult,

1309
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 1: the guy's night was crashed by her. Yeah, apparently it

1310
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 1: isn't easy enough for her to call off work. It

1311
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 1: was just assume my husband will be his groomsman. He

1312
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 1: wasn't formally asked, and that is why my husband wanted

1313
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 1: to speak with him. We don't get it. Husband was

1314
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 1: asked at the outing to attend a full tux fitting

1315
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 1: take place the next day. Turns out she will be

1316
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:32,840
Speaker 1: there too. Husband could have changed his plans to attend,

1317
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 1: but was supremely annoyed by how much their relationship has

1318
00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:39,800
Speaker 1: one sided, respect. I just don't want to attend their

1319
00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:42,439
Speaker 1: wedding and silently resent them on their big day.

1320
00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 2: Don't w each other wedding they didn't come to yours.

1321
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:47,920
Speaker 1: But on the other hand, we're all so shared, so

1322
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:51,680
Speaker 1: many mutual friends care. Some of them will be traveling

1323
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 1: from out of state who we don't otherwise get to visit,

1324
00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:57,040
Speaker 1: and I don't want to draw attention to the rift.

1325
00:59:57,200 --> 01:00:00,240
Speaker 1: Our mutual friends do not know how we feel. We

1326
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:03,000
Speaker 1: just started sharing. We are married, so we should go

1327
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 1: without saying. We didn't make sharing our exciting news with

1328
01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 1: their shade. It would have been easier to talk to

1329
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:12,160
Speaker 1: the guy friend, but he has since kept offline on

1330
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 1: discord and kept himself scarce. I'm going to be hurt

1331
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 1: and embarrassed whether or not it's in their wedding. We

1332
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:20,200
Speaker 1: don't even know if I'm allowed to sit with my

1333
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:23,480
Speaker 1: husband or if I am effectively attending stack. Is there

1334
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:26,400
Speaker 1: any anti drama advice? I want to believe I am

1335
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:29,920
Speaker 1: above stealing their joy with my mood, but it doesn't

1336
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:32,960
Speaker 1: hurt to hear any advice. We got an update oo,

1337
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 1: I mean just.

1338
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 2: Go Yeah, Honestly, either you sit with your friends who

1339
01:00:37,960 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 2: are coming out of state, or you talk to your

1340
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 2: husband and say like, hey, can you please ask them

1341
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 2: because I want to sit with you. You are my husband.

1342
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:47,400
Speaker 2: I don't want to have to sit alone. See if

1343
01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:50,160
Speaker 2: they can like work that out, and then you know,

1344
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:51,840
Speaker 2: slowly phase that out of your life.

1345
01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:53,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. Go to the wedding.

1346
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:55,400
Speaker 2: This has been I think because your husband's going, I

1347
01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:57,320
Speaker 2: would say if you both weren't going, it would make

1348
01:00:57,320 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 2: a little bit sense, and then you could make up

1349
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:02,280
Speaker 2: some excuse about like it not working with timing and stuff.

1350
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 2: But because he has to go as best man, it

1351
01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:07,720
Speaker 2: probably will bring a little bit more attention. Oh sorry, Grisbin.

1352
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:10,840
Speaker 1: I would go just honor the times you guys had together,

1353
01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 1: and then.

1354
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,080
Speaker 2: From there, yeah, and hang out with all those friends

1355
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:13,800
Speaker 2: that you haven't seen.

1356
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:15,680
Speaker 1: In a while. Yeah, and then just take it easy

1357
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:18,520
Speaker 1: after that, like, oh it's okay, we're just not in

1358
01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:21,680
Speaker 1: the mood to hang mm hmmm. Update, Well, my husband's

1359
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:25,240
Speaker 1: friend has since unfriended him on one platform, probably blocked

1360
01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 1: him on others. This similarly came out of nowhere. Husband

1361
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 1: was able to finally speak to his friend after months

1362
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 1: of being ignored and one slightly successful attempt to talk

1363
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:36,960
Speaker 1: in person. That was crashed by her. As their wedding approached,

1364
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:40,560
Speaker 1: they suddenly became very interested in us, spam calling and

1365
01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:44,600
Speaker 1: texting for last minute night of plans, interrupting our already

1366
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:49,000
Speaker 1: progress date, offending themselves because we weren't available for their

1367
01:01:49,040 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 1: aggressively spontaneous calls and texts. Shout out to another friend

1368
01:01:52,680 --> 01:01:56,120
Speaker 1: that mentioned conversation consent because that concept needs to be

1369
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:59,760
Speaker 1: more readily involved in our lives. This couple took every

1370
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:03,720
Speaker 1: opportunity to be insulted by our less immediate responses earlier

1371
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:06,000
Speaker 1: in the day. That would message my husband during training

1372
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:08,160
Speaker 1: for his new role, then text and called me to

1373
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:11,280
Speaker 1: ask why he ignored them. They pulled the same thing

1374
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:14,320
Speaker 1: after he got off work text or call during our dinner,

1375
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 1: then texted me to ask why we are ignoring them.

1376
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:21,440
Speaker 1: Ef actually ruined the mood with their anxious attachment and dramatics.

1377
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:24,120
Speaker 1: I just responded to her that to say my husband's

1378
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 1: started a new position was very busy, and to answer

1379
01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 1: if something was wrong. I was disheartened by this sudden

1380
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 1: influx when we had not existed to them for months prior.

1381
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:35,480
Speaker 1: I didn't get so much as a sorry I couldn't

1382
01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:39,720
Speaker 1: make it or attend your wedding text or congratulations, nothing

1383
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:44,280
Speaker 1: about my expensive surgery that incapacitated me, just as text

1384
01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:47,160
Speaker 1: asking why my husband seems to be ignoring them, that

1385
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 1: it isn't lost to me that she can text when

1386
01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:52,520
Speaker 1: it is approaching her wedding and she wants us to

1387
01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:55,680
Speaker 1: attend slash be involved. My husband arranged to meet up

1388
01:02:55,840 --> 01:02:58,800
Speaker 1: and talk things out with his friend alone, as he

1389
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:02,480
Speaker 1: had intended five months ago. Honestly, I was so excited

1390
01:03:02,520 --> 01:03:05,200
Speaker 1: for them. During the mid progress update call from my

1391
01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 1: husband as they drove in their respective cars to grab

1392
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:12,120
Speaker 1: some food, my husband was saying how receptive his friend was.

1393
01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:14,920
Speaker 1: All the things my husband spelled out that hurt our

1394
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:18,280
Speaker 1: feelings or made us feel disregarded. He said how his

1395
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:22,680
Speaker 1: friend was not defensive or otherwise providing excuses, just engaged,

1396
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:24,040
Speaker 1: listening exclamation.

1397
01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:24,440
Speaker 3: Oh.

1398
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:27,280
Speaker 2: Pi's husband was like, and I didn't appreciate how you'd

1399
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:31,440
Speaker 2: you know, you've kind of ignored my wife's like feeling

1400
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:34,040
Speaker 2: hurt about and he's just like, uh huh uh huh

1401
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:36,400
Speaker 2: oh you seem pretty receptive.

1402
01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:37,960
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, wow, okay.

1403
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 2: And he doesn't actually say anything, he just goes, uh yeah.

1404
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:43,000
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure, yeah yeah. He seemed to understand that.

1405
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:46,560
Speaker 1: While we understood things don't always work out, there was

1406
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:49,360
Speaker 1: a lot of insult to injury that I pretty much

1407
01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 1: wrapped up with the friends, stating he had been a

1408
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:53,600
Speaker 1: crappy friend. I would really like to try to make

1409
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:57,160
Speaker 1: things right between us and salvage a relationship. It felt

1410
01:03:57,160 --> 01:03:59,960
Speaker 1: well worth the canceled plans I had with my husband.

1411
01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:03,080
Speaker 1: He got home around ten ten thirty maaning maybe three hours.

1412
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:05,600
Speaker 1: My husband went to sleep shortly after getting home, and

1413
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:08,680
Speaker 1: we effectively forfeited any chance of a night together. At

1414
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:11,280
Speaker 1: eleven thirty or so, husband received a text from her.

1415
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:13,920
Speaker 1: I already see the problem. I see the common denominator.

1416
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:17,800
Speaker 2: Oh no, it seems like the fiance has been okay

1417
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:21,000
Speaker 2: because Opie's husband is still a groomsman. Yeah, it's the

1418
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:25,560
Speaker 2: woman who has been like making fun of Ope, not

1419
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:27,640
Speaker 2: checking in with her about anything.

1420
01:04:28,080 --> 01:04:32,760
Speaker 1: Kind of critical, yeah, hypercritical, weird. She did not like

1421
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:36,960
Speaker 1: whatever was second handedly transcribed to her. It was a

1422
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 1: defensive pity party, saying, how I didn't know you didn't

1423
01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 1: like me after all these years. I didn't know you

1424
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:46,120
Speaker 1: thought I was controlling to fiance. I didn't know you

1425
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 1: thought I was never nice to opie. She threw around

1426
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:51,320
Speaker 1: how she was known and hung out with my husband

1427
01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:54,480
Speaker 1: for seven years, ignored the fact that I've known her

1428
01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:57,520
Speaker 1: for five and might as well not even exist. I

1429
01:04:57,560 --> 01:05:01,520
Speaker 1: felt insulted all over again by her actions. Her earlier

1430
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:05,720
Speaker 1: message felt like so much more of a failing Bechtel test.

1431
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:10,040
Speaker 1: I existed exclusively as an extension of my husband. She

1432
01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:12,520
Speaker 1: had just apologized for not reaching out to me directly.

1433
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:16,480
Speaker 1: Here she was indirectly complaining about me, my husband nor

1434
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:19,480
Speaker 1: I even saw the text that night. There was, of course,

1435
01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:21,760
Speaker 1: so much more to come, because she was insulted some

1436
01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:24,080
Speaker 1: more before we woke up. This is why I appreciate

1437
01:05:24,120 --> 01:05:27,520
Speaker 1: the concept of consent to conversation. She was messaging my

1438
01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:31,040
Speaker 1: husband while he continued to be unavailable to respond, angering

1439
01:05:31,160 --> 01:05:34,600
Speaker 1: herself further that he didn't drop everything to engage. He

1440
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:37,640
Speaker 1: had to pacify her and essentially say that he is

1441
01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:41,000
Speaker 1: calling out her actions and not her character. He doesn't

1442
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:45,880
Speaker 1: hate her like she seemed to believe. She never responded urgency,

1443
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:49,200
Speaker 1: like most things in relation to her, is one sided.

1444
01:05:49,280 --> 01:05:51,560
Speaker 1: A few days later, my husband was reached out by

1445
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:55,160
Speaker 1: his friends, saying my husband needed to confirm that day

1446
01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:58,439
Speaker 1: that he would be a groomsman husband said that as

1447
01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:01,440
Speaker 1: he needs an answer tonight, it will have to be No,

1448
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:05,320
Speaker 1: there are too many things unresolved. Nothing else has been said,

1449
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:08,360
Speaker 1: and it appears as though my husband has been removed

1450
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:11,400
Speaker 1: from the friends list on steam.

1451
01:06:10,920 --> 01:06:14,560
Speaker 2: Ooh dang, Rough, you can't go back from that.

1452
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:17,360
Speaker 1: You really can't. Ah, it's so hard. Yeah, you probably

1453
01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:20,560
Speaker 1: got blocked on Discord too. Probably they're no longer Reddit buddies.

1454
01:06:20,760 --> 01:06:22,880
Speaker 2: Ah, that's man.

1455
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:27,560
Speaker 1: My husband is understandably hurt. Yeah, it is an understatement

1456
01:06:27,640 --> 01:06:30,040
Speaker 1: to say it's a little awkward, because this is just

1457
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:33,040
Speaker 1: some of out of town friends connected with us to

1458
01:06:33,080 --> 01:06:35,960
Speaker 1: make plans to attend the wedding together. We haven't breathed

1459
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:38,800
Speaker 1: a word to our mutual friends. We figured we should

1460
01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:42,880
Speaker 1: bury our feelings and tend to keep appearances as we

1461
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:44,960
Speaker 1: faded out of our former friendships.

1462
01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:47,280
Speaker 2: They can want you to attend if they block to you.

1463
01:06:47,680 --> 01:06:51,920
Speaker 1: I'm sure uninviting us will raise alarm bells with other friends. Yeah.

1464
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:55,360
Speaker 2: Oh, so they're only inviting you to like keep up appearances,

1465
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:57,440
Speaker 2: and you guys are only going to keep up appearances.

1466
01:06:57,560 --> 01:06:59,840
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, that's exactly what it is. I don't know.

1467
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:02,439
Speaker 2: Oh, if they're treating to this bad. I mean, let

1468
01:07:02,480 --> 01:07:03,680
Speaker 2: your friends find out.

1469
01:07:04,200 --> 01:07:05,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, after party in my place.

1470
01:07:06,040 --> 01:07:06,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1471
01:07:06,560 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 1: Literally, From where I stand, I think they all had

1472
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:12,320
Speaker 1: more to lose, strong attention to how rude they've been

1473
01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:13,680
Speaker 1: to us. We haven't edit.

1474
01:07:13,640 --> 01:07:16,280
Speaker 2: Well, honestly, I don't even know if you guys have

1475
01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:17,120
Speaker 2: to go to the wedding.

1476
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:17,840
Speaker 1: No, don't.

1477
01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:21,280
Speaker 2: But at this point your husband's no longer a groomsman.

1478
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:23,560
Speaker 2: It seems like that's kind of what they've been fineing, right.

1479
01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:26,920
Speaker 2: You aren't close with the friend either of the bride.

1480
01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:30,040
Speaker 2: You're only going to keep up appearances. They're only inviting

1481
01:07:30,120 --> 01:07:32,200
Speaker 2: you to do the same thing. So it's like, why

1482
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:34,919
Speaker 2: go there and be resentful? And like probably you're gonna

1483
01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:36,440
Speaker 2: want to tell your friends, but you'll feel like you

1484
01:07:36,480 --> 01:07:38,840
Speaker 2: can't because you're at their wedding. I feel like not

1485
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,520
Speaker 2: going and if anyone asks you just say this is

1486
01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:42,080
Speaker 2: what happened.

1487
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:45,280
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure, dude. For those of you concerned about

1488
01:07:45,280 --> 01:07:47,880
Speaker 1: getting ahead of the story so they don't spin it,

1489
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:51,000
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone will favorably look upon their consideration.

1490
01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:53,800
Speaker 1: I started going public with my health condition. I did

1491
01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:56,800
Speaker 1: an organ the removed, and then had another surgery within

1492
01:07:56,920 --> 01:08:00,800
Speaker 1: three months to remove tissue into different places, starting IVF

1493
01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:03,920
Speaker 1: or more, freezing my eggs the same month as their wedding,

1494
01:08:04,280 --> 01:08:08,320
Speaker 1: and those suckers are deteriorating. She keeps telling people Slash me,

1495
01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:11,360
Speaker 1: I only gave her twelve days notice for my courthouse wedding,

1496
01:08:11,640 --> 01:08:14,080
Speaker 1: so of course she couldn't make it despite it not

1497
01:08:14,120 --> 01:08:17,000
Speaker 1: being during work hours. But the wedding was in fact

1498
01:08:17,040 --> 01:08:20,240
Speaker 1: because my husband and I were experiencing my health hardships

1499
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:23,479
Speaker 1: and had to make tough calls like freezing embreers or

1500
01:08:23,560 --> 01:08:26,439
Speaker 1: just losing fraternity, possibly within the year. She is not

1501
01:08:26,640 --> 01:08:30,000
Speaker 1: going to walk away from this unscathed. I made a

1502
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:33,360
Speaker 1: social media post in honor of International Women's Day. Our

1503
01:08:33,439 --> 01:08:37,840
Speaker 1: friends saw it, and that's when she started essentially reaching

1504
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:40,760
Speaker 1: out to us. She knows she doesn't look good, and

1505
01:08:40,840 --> 01:08:43,240
Speaker 1: she kept digging her whole deeper at it. Tude. Oh,

1506
01:08:43,280 --> 01:08:46,160
Speaker 1: and my husband and I got married on my husband's birthday.

1507
01:08:46,439 --> 01:08:49,040
Speaker 1: It was a Monday, My surgery was on that Tuesday.

1508
01:08:49,320 --> 01:08:53,760
Speaker 1: We bought rings right before Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving messed up

1509
01:08:53,920 --> 01:08:58,080
Speaker 1: courthouse hours. We thought it was slightly romantic, and she

1510
01:08:58,080 --> 01:09:02,200
Speaker 1: couldn't attend my husband's birthday. Slash wedding even as one

1511
01:09:02,280 --> 01:09:05,040
Speaker 1: half of our required attendees. I was ashamed to tell

1512
01:09:05,120 --> 01:09:07,479
Speaker 1: people the day we got married. But it is a

1513
01:09:07,520 --> 01:09:11,280
Speaker 1: whole other level of disreward that casually missed our wedding.

1514
01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:14,000
Speaker 1: It will not take us bad mouthing her for people

1515
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:16,920
Speaker 1: to think she has been a heartless. But and that's

1516
01:09:16,960 --> 01:09:17,799
Speaker 1: the end of that story.