WEBVTT - Michelle Rauch 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:04.400 The Craig Ferguson Pants on Fire Tour is on sale now. 0:00:04.600 --> 0:00:07.880 It's a new show, it's new material, but I'm afraid 0:00:07.920 --> 0:00:12.480 it's still only me, Craig Ferguson on my own, standing 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:15.800 on a stage telling comedy words. Come and see me, 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:18.520 buy tickets, bring your loved ones, or don't come and 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:21.400 see me. Don't buy tickets and don't bring your loved ones. 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:23.880 I'm not your dad. You come or don't come, but 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:26.160 you should at least know what's happening, and it is. 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:30.160 The tour kicks off late September and goes through the 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:34.000 end of the year and beyond. Tickets are available at 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:36.960 the Craig Ferguson Show dot com slash tour. They are 0:00:37.000 --> 0:00:40.080 available at the Craig Ferguson show dot com slash tour 0:00:40.520 --> 0:00:44.960 or at your local outlet in your region. My name 0:00:45.000 --> 0:00:49.040 is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast is Joy. 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:53.640 I talk to interest in people about what brings them happiness. 0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:58.080 I don't know if you know this about me, but 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:00.400 a few years ago I used to do a late 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:04.720 night show and one of my favorite guests on that 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:08.559 show was an actress who was just breaking through as 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:10.920 I was doing the show, and she became a big 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:15.559 star in a show called The Big Bang Theory and 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:20.040 she was just fabulous and she still is. Please welcome 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:34.400 the lovely Melissa Rownd shipperboy Melissa. Yes, do you are 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:35.920 you doing a podcast yet? 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:37.920 My own podcast? 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:38.600 Yes? 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:39.440 No, I'm not. 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:42.959 I'm not think I think you have to think. I 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:47.319 think you're Yes, I've always thought, well, you're very chatty, 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:52.000 you're very personable, You're nice, and you deserve money but 0:01:52.240 --> 0:01:57.920 clearly don't need it because you run a sick come again. 0:01:56.520 --> 0:01:59.040 But I would like to I'm glad you said this. 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:01.120 Maybe this is in spray. I need to start it. 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:04.320 But if I do, can I TM it at the 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:06.280 end and say that Craig Furgerson told me to do this, 0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:07.480 and every day I. 0:02:07.440 --> 0:02:14.480 Think you probably can? Does TM mean take money? Tall man? 0:02:15.000 --> 0:02:20.359 Uh Tiddley maniac? I oh you above all the above. 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:23.079 You look very well. I'm glad to see you look 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:25.200 very well. I wasn't worried about you in any way, 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:26.560 but but I was. 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:28.079 I haven't seen you for a long time, so you 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:29.320 since I did late night. 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:30.920 It's been a very long time. Do you know that 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:33.560 you were my very first late night show ever. 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:35.639 Oh is that good? 0:02:36.160 --> 0:02:38.080 It's wonderful. It was such a wonderful exerience. 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:40.560 I love doing that show so much, but I was 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:43.359 and then I nervous at what. 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:47.400 Point towards well, you know what I loved. I loved 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:48.880 doing it. See this is why I used to have 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:51.160 a podcast, because you're asking me things like going, well, 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:54.760 I'll let me tell you about my career. I love 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:58.600 doing it, and then I go board with it. And 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:00.920 then when I decided I was going to leave, I 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:02.000 love to doing it again. 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:05.239 Oh interesting, because there was an insight. 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:07.920 Yeah, the last two years I did it. Well, you 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:11.240 know this because you're an actor, right, if you you're 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:17.760 still an actor. When you do a job as an 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:21.680 actor or anykin performer, it's like a it's not forever job. 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:23.320 You do it and then you're done and you move 0:03:23.360 --> 0:03:24.160 on to another show. 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:29.920 Yeah, right, and late night unless you jump, you know, 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:32.760 it's kind of like the Supreme Court. You're there. You 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:37.400 know you've got you've got to recuse yourself from late right. 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:39.960 So then once you knew it was ending, was it 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:43.600 a saber every moment feeling of this is going to 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:47.200 be ending at some point, I see it ending. 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:49.400 So I want to hold on to the memories while 0:03:49.400 --> 0:03:49.840 they're here. 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:52.400 A little bit like that and a little more like, 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:55.160 I don't give a shit now they can't fire me again. 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:58.119 That was a lot of fun that there was such 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:00.480 freedom in that, and there was about eighty months of 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:02.520 that when I thought, Wow, okay, what are they gonna do? 0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:04.360 They're gonna get rid of me. I'm done now anyway, 0:04:05.640 --> 0:04:08.160 and it really felt good. When were you first thought? 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:08.920 Do you remember? 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:12.960 Oh goodness, that's a good question. I mean it must 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:13.680 have been. 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:20.280 Maybe like around two thousand eleven ish twelve ish. 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:21.680 Yeah, something like that. 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:23.159 Does haway through the run? 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:25.560 Well, you're doing Big Bang Theory the time, I think. 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:29.159 I think it was the first late night talk show 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:31.920 I did for a Big Bang And oh my gosh, 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:35.159 I remember going to the Century City Mall to get 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:37.880 an outfit for it and practicing how I was going 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:40.560 to sit in the dressing room and just so like 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:42.600 if I sat down, I wouldn't show my business on 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:45.279 like the chair, and that's important. 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:46.479 I mean, that is important. 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:49.599 Yeah, But you were so kind and you put me 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.120 at ease right away, and I just I love that 0:04:52.160 --> 0:04:52.800 show so much. 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:54.560 I loved talking to you so much. 0:04:54.640 --> 0:04:57.680 Ah that See that makes me very happy because that 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.719 was the idea. I always thought, if you host the show, 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:02.880 you should maybe host the show like you host a party, 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:06.880 like make sure everybody's got nibbles and dip and let 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.640 them have a nice time. And he was to do 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:14.400 cocaine in the bedroom if you can avoid it. So listen, 0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:16.960 tell me this because I mean, I'm interested in you 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:19.560 doing night core because you're you're doing night cooret again. 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:20.320 Right, doing night Court. 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:24.160 Yes, and what I am fascinated by. First of all, 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:26.560 I really like nightcore, and I really like Larry Kay. 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:30.480 He's isn't he like a special human being? 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:33.400 So so do you know him? 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:38.920 Yeah? I do. He was actually a very early guest 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:41.880 on Late Now, and he was on quite a lot, 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:43.720 and then he stopped being on for a while. I 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:47.640 don't know why, but I wasn't, you know, in charge 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:50.080 of any of that. But and then he was back 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:52.080 on later. I don't know, but he was always a 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:55.880 favorite guest for me because he he's just very funny 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:59.080 and very just a real gentleman, you know what I mean. 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:03.880 It's like a I loved him. But I remember that 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:07.480 show was that the eighties, that show. 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:13.000 Mm hmmm, yeahly nineties, and it was always a favorite 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:15.000 of mine growing up. It was one of those shows 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:17.800 I remember sitting and watching with my parents and a 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:19.480 lot went over my head and there was a lot 0:06:19.480 --> 0:06:22.880 of like cover your ears to things that I didn't understand, 0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:25.240 and they, I mean, they got away with so much. 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:28.120 But there was something very special about it. The comedy 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:32.359 was very irreverent in a way that was unlike anything 0:06:32.360 --> 0:06:33.280 else on at the time. 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:37.200 And I was always such as right, Yeah, it was 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:40.520 a real It had a very kind of had a 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:43.279 kind of like a different kind of a narcic vibe 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:45.240 a little bit. It was naughty. It was quite a 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:45.760 naughty show. 0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:48.600 Yeah, and John describes it as, I mean, it was 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:53.400 essentially vaudeville in so many ways. But the and John 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:56.080 just obviously was such a standout, and getting to work 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:58.400 with him has just been nothing short of a dream 0:06:58.400 --> 0:06:58.800 come true. 0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:01.360 It's yeah, I know he I've never heard a bad 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:03.839 word about him. I've not got one myself. He's a 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:07.320 lovely man. He He and I share a kind of 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:10.640 similar early story as well, which is, you know, he 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:13.760 was a little back in the day as well. I think, 0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:17.400 but not for a long time, A long long time. 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:23.600 So did you grow up in your family? Are in 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:24.920 show business? Here are they? 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:25.840 They're not. 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:30.240 I grew up in Jersey suburbs of Jersey. Father's an 0:07:30.280 --> 0:07:34.520 accountant and who worked as a legal secretary, and then 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:36.360 she was home with my. 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:39.640 Brother and I for a lot of my childhood. But 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:45.440 very much like small town upbringing. 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:50.720 But my parents were so wildly supportive of me choosing 0:07:50.720 --> 0:07:54.800 this career for a family that didn't have anything to 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:55.120 do with it. 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:56.320 We were always a very like. 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:01.400 Musical family. My grandfather was a music teacher and my mom. 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:04.400 My parents like loved going to shows and they loved 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:08.360 loved the arts, but fight and they had no real 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:09.880 connection to anything. 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:14.280 Fascinated. I'm fascinated by that because I just had a 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:18.119 conversation today for another episode of the podcast with Richard Kind. 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:23.120 Who you know who is lovely lovely man? 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:24.800 Love him? Last week? 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:25.880 Oh he did? 0:08:25.960 --> 0:08:26.640 Was he on Night Court? 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:27.520 He was on Night Court? 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:31.160 He's he came to join us since the second season 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:32.600 and he comes back in the third season. 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:34.319 He's amazing. I love that. 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:36.400 Yeah, if he turns up for one episode, he'll be 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:38.040 there for a season. A bit like you're in the 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:41.080 Big Bang Theory. Actually you you commend for an episode 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:46.040 of That's it. But he he was telling me the 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.200 same thing about he got into show business as well. 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:52.240 His family were very supportive, but they knew nothing about 0:08:52.280 --> 0:08:53.000 show business. 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:56.600 And I wonder if that's why your. 0:08:56.440 --> 0:09:01.480 Family can be supportive, because they don't know how dreadful at. 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:06.320 That is so true. I actually remember. 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:10.000 Calling my mother from the back of the sports bar 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:13.000 I was working at after you know, years of auditioning, 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:15.120 and my parents were, I mean, they really were so great. 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:16.440 They came to every one. 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:18.720 Of my you know, community theater shows growing up. And 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:22.400 my father I remember saying to me, there's no job 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:26.640 security in anything, so just do what you love. And 0:09:27.000 --> 0:09:29.080 I had been out of work and just you know, 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:32.720 trying to get work in New York City and doing 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:35.840 stand up but doing theater and like laundromats, and I 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:38.280 was working at this sports bar as my bread and butter, 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:41.200 and I was so beaten down and I called my 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:44.240 mom from the payphone in the back of the restaurant, 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:47.440 sobbing and saying, why did you let me follow my dreams? 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:50.679 This is terrible parenting. You never should have done this, 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:52.160 I'm never going to work. 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:54.600 I have nothing to fall back on because I majored 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:57.760 in theater with a minor in musical theater. 0:09:58.080 --> 0:09:59.920 So there's literally which. 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:03.400 That's that's stilen down. I'm doing down. 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:07.760 I had nothing, and I was so freaked out, and 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:11.480 she was sort of laughing and just saying, just keep going, 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:12.280 just keep going. 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:15.080 Be Okay, you must have. 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:17.319 Been pretty young when you were doing that, because yeah, 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:19.200 I mean you were pretty young when you broke through, 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:19.680 weren't you. 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:22.480 Yeah, I mean I got big thing. 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:27.520 I was twenty nine, I was Richard and I were 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:31.280 talking about that's the time we have to break through. Yeah, 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:34.520 I'm not kidding between like twenty nine and thirty three, 0:10:34.800 --> 0:10:39.280 if it's gonna happen, it's going to happen. About that, certainly, 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:40.360 that's the way it was for me. 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:44.520 Really was your first first gig? How were? 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:47.080 I got sober when I was twenty nine, so that 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:50.280 that made a bit of a difference. But also between 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:55.680 between then and then going to like I was a 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:58.880 phone down. I was falling down drunk when I was 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:01.760 twenty nine, and but the time when I was thirty 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:05.640 two thirty three, I was on the Drew carry show, 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:09.720 and I know it's crazy. It was like a huge difference. 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:14.400 But I remember thinking at that time, how long so 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:16.960 you'd been out of college. I guess what six seven 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:17.840 years something like that. 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:20.040 Yeah, I was in New York. 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.000 I went to college in New York City, and I 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:25.600 was doing stand up pretty much the whole time I 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:30.960 was in college, much to the chagrin of my conservatory teachers, 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:33.520 like we're doing Shakespeare joining the day, you should not 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:37.280 be doing stand up at night. And so I was 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:41.880 doing that and then trying to get work after college, 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:47.679 and I started writing this one woman show right when 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:51.160 I graduated college because I was just trying to create 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:55.600 work for myself because there really was just I auditioned 0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:59.160 like nine thousand times to be a victim on Law 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:01.640 and Order, and I never never got Kaz. 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:03.600 There was hardly anything shooting there. 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:05.800 So I started writing this play for myself with my 0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:10.440 now husband, and it was so self righteous and boring 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:13.160 when I still have something, it was awful. It was 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:15.600 just about that phase whor you're graduating. 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:21.440 College and you're like trying to make I'll get a 0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:26.440 black box and do it so bad. And and then. 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:31.800 We saw Jenna Bush speaking on TV at the Republican Convention. 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:34.079 We were like flipping channels and we saw it and 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:37.280 she was about the same age as me, and she 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:38.440 we read that she was going to. 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:42.040 Be teaching public school and. 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:45.760 She was talking with her sister and she had this 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:49.800 one joke at the convention and she killed and she 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.960 like turned to her sister and was like and she 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:57.240 just had She was like very like, she nailed this joke. 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:01.760 I was like, that's a really interesting dynamic that she 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:04.480 had up there, that like of her sort of enjoying. 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:05.920 Getting this laugh. 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:09.679 And so we ended up combining my story with hers 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:14.720 of she's meeting and at the time, she was in 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:17.520 the press for getting DUIs, and so we thought, like, 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:22.080 remember that, what if we combined this coming of age 0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:24.760 story for her while also spewing the. 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:26.280 Bush presidency. 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:29.480 With the story I was writing for myself, which was 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:33.400 like individuating from your parents and trying to become adult, 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:35.640 an adult, And so we wrote it that it was 0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:38.360 the night before she was going to start teaching and 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:40.199 she needs to become this. 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:42.640 Adult in one night. And so we did this show. 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.079 It's called The Miseducation of Jenna Bush, and I did 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:47.000 it in New York at the New York Comedy Fest, 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:51.400 the New York Fringe Festival, and then that was sort of. 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:52.319 What got me out to LA. 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:53.760 We ended up doing it in LA and at the 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:58.120 Aspen Comedy Festival and then sold a pilot about it 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:02.240 to CBS. But it really was what got me out 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:04.760 of waiting tables. At the time, I was still doing 0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:08.600 that the side, but that helped get me out to LA. 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:11.640 It's interesting talk to me a little bit about stand up, 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:14.400 because I actually didn't know you'd done stand up, But 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.400 I think that's quite interesting because you were one of 0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:20.520 the people that could really hang in late night, right, 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:25.640 and everyone that could hang has some kind of I 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:30.280 think it's a kind of darkness. I think to be 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:34.880 able to be able to ref and be that way 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:39.400 stand up I think maybe not now because it's such 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:42.040 an aspirational thing for young people because of tach talk 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:44.360 and stuff, But it has. 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:46.600 A kind of darkness. Do you have that darkness? 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:48.560 Do you think? Do you have that? 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:49.600 That's interesting? 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.160 I think we all do in a way, and it 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:54.960 just depends on how much you want to tap into it. 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:58.560 But I definitely think I was always a kid that 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:03.160 felt other growing up and I think, yes, that was 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:08.320 very much where my comedy came from, in the fact 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:11.120 that I was a kid who, like I was an 0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:11.800 indoor cat. 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:14.440 I couldn't really do sports. I always I was a 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:17.960 weird kid. And there's like. 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:22.920 Video of me at like seven doing stand up stand 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:27.240 up at this beauty pageant. I should have not I 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:29.680 shouldn't have been in a beauty pageant. There's you look 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:30.160 at pictures of. 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:31.520 Me as a kid. This was not something I should 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:31.840 have been doing. 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.240 But I don't know. I don't know if anyone should 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:37.080 be in a beauty passion, to be honest, but that's 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:40.760 probably a different thing. But why why you were doing 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:42.600 stand up at a kid's beauty pageant? 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:45.760 Yeah, because I got a pamphlet in the mail for this. 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:48.480 It was like the Cinderella Scholarship pageant at the ra 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:51.320 Modern Renaissance Hotel in New Jersey. And I was like, 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:56.920 they said that there was a terrifying It was terrifying, 0:15:57.720 --> 0:15:59.840 but they had a talent portion and I was like, 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:03.840 I was obsessed with stand up. I was watching Star 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:06.640 Search and I was like, this is amazing, but there's 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:08.840 no place to do it. So I thought if I 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:11.600 could get into this talent competition, I could do stand 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.920 up And I begged my mom and she said, if 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:16.840 I saved up half the money, then. 0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:17.400 I could do it. 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:19.960 And I mean I was toothless, like I wore a 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:23.920 dress that I wore my cousin's wedding, and I mean 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:25.840 I couldn't wait to get to the talent park because 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:27.840 it was a lot of like, Hi, I'm Melissa Roush 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:30.680 from Marlburn, New Jersey and I'm seven years old, and 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:33.640 I couldn't do that like with all the like Toddler 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:36.160 and Tierra type kids. But I got to the talent portion, 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:37.840 I was so stoked that I. 0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:40.000 Did my tight five. 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:45.840 I guess it was, but it was mostly impressions. It's 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:49.400 so weird, and that's what I would do for show 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:53.520 and tell, and everything was just like I need to 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:56.720 work on my comedy. 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:00.520 And so it was just weirdness. It was just a 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:03.000 lot of were you were you brillied? 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:04.880 Did the other kids pick up on the weirdest? 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:08.720 Oh? Yes, yes, I mean once in a while I 0:17:08.800 --> 0:17:12.560 got up because I was also doing impressions that weren't 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:15.240 It wasn't the right demo. I was doing like don 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:16.520 Nott's from three's company. 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:18.919 Yes, and it's not. 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:21.159 It doesn't really killed with the second grade crowd. 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:24.640 So yeah, I was picked on a lot also because 0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:26.159 of my There was a lot of picking on me 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:26.879 because my height. 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:30.920 Were you very because you're you're still quite little large? 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:34.040 Yeah, I never I never hit five feet, so I'm 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:36.399 it was tiny. But then, but then I sort of 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:39.680 realized that if I made fun of myself first, then 0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:40.160 that would help. 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:44.200 My mother told me it was not the. 0:17:44.200 --> 0:17:47.840 Greatest advice, but she said, if anyone calls you short, 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:51.800 say that your mother accidentally puts you in the dryer 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:54.760 and shrunk you, which she was really trying to help 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:55.520 me do a bit. 0:17:55.880 --> 0:17:57.760 But I know it just made me weirder. 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:07.800 Do you know it's funny? It's such an odd thing 0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:11.200 when people good naturedly, and in that case, your mother, 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:14.880 but people could initially suggest things that they think would 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:18.280 be funny for you to say. I mean, I don't 0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:20.399 know how to tell you that this is not funny 0:18:20.440 --> 0:18:24.679 at all, and I can't make it funny. Did you 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:29.560 ever try? I tried getting chat gpt to write me 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:32.080 some comedy. Have you ever tried to tell me to 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:32.560 do it? 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:33.320 Really? 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:39.480 Yeah, it's really reassuring, because what you do is I said, 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:43.520 write me a short monologue in the style of Craig Ferguson, 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:47.280 And it wrote me this monologue and it was either 0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:51.520 I'm delusional about how good I am or I really 0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:56.520 suck or something, but that that was awful. It was awful, 0:18:57.400 --> 0:19:00.159 and I was like, oh, good, So that's something that 0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:03.280 they can't do. Not Yeah, I just don't think they 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:04.200 can write comedy. 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:06.679 Wow, okay, I want to do it. 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:11.440 That's you think it's because well it wrote it. We're 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:15.200 a weird little thing about giraffes, about like, aren't giraffes 0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:18.240 dumb looking and stuff? And I'm like, I do not 0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:22.040 think giraffes are dumb looking. I like giraffes. I mean 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:23.720 I was thinking about them that much. But when I 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:26.879 do think about them, I'm like, well, the magnificent giraffesweeping 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:30.359 across the sangetti. I don't think these dumb assholes. 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:32.600 That's crazy. Who would not like giraffes. 0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:36.600 So I guess in a way it inspired me to 0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:40.400 do a pro giraffe piece of stand up comedy, which 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:42.520 I've been I guess wanted to do for some time 0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:43.120 and didn't know. 0:19:43.080 --> 0:19:44.840 It okay, but I like this. 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:49.480 It's just a it's a source of inspiration, which I 0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:53.080 think that's what you know. I keep going back to 0:19:53.119 --> 0:19:56.520 this darkness is where comedy is born thing for myself, 0:19:56.560 --> 0:20:00.200 and I think that it's it. Perhaps isn't darkness phaps 0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:04.080 is just interesting. Perhaps if you just got an interesting story, 0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:08.680 it makes you funny, hmmm, because I don't know very 0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:10.679 many funny people who are not interesting. 0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:14.560 That's very true. That is that's I think that's very 0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:15.080 very true. 0:20:15.119 --> 0:20:19.280 And I think, you know, whenever I think about, you know, 0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:25.040 parenting or things that my parents did or things they 0:20:25.080 --> 0:20:32.360