1 00:00:15,304 --> 00:00:22,544 Speaker 1: Pushkin, I'm so chill Gonzalez and I wrote the Fake 2 00:00:22,584 --> 00:00:24,664 Speaker 1: Poor Bride for The Atlantic and it's the story of 3 00:00:24,704 --> 00:00:25,024 Speaker 1: the week. 4 00:00:26,104 --> 00:00:28,024 Speaker 2: Would you please introduce yourself to the listener. 5 00:00:28,384 --> 00:00:29,744 Speaker 3: I'm your lovely wife, Cassandra. 6 00:00:30,104 --> 00:00:33,904 Speaker 2: Yes. And when I proposed to you, one of us 7 00:00:33,944 --> 00:00:36,264 Speaker 2: wanted a wedding and one of us did not. Yes, 8 00:00:36,464 --> 00:00:37,504 Speaker 2: it's not important which one. 9 00:00:37,544 --> 00:00:40,744 Speaker 3: Here's the big review. Okay, you wanted the wedding. 10 00:00:40,784 --> 00:00:42,784 Speaker 2: I did want a wedding because you get one chance 11 00:00:42,904 --> 00:00:45,144 Speaker 2: in your life to have a way beautiful dress. No, 12 00:00:45,304 --> 00:00:47,584 Speaker 2: it's important to do this in front of family and 13 00:00:47,624 --> 00:00:51,584 Speaker 2: friends and have a moment that you know. It binds you. 14 00:00:51,984 --> 00:00:55,024 Speaker 2: It keeps you from just running away. You've done this 15 00:00:55,064 --> 00:00:55,864 Speaker 2: thing in front of people. 16 00:00:55,984 --> 00:00:59,584 Speaker 3: I think it's because you have fomo. Oh, and you 17 00:00:59,824 --> 00:01:03,144 Speaker 3: are more of a traditionalist than you let on. 18 00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:04,744 Speaker 2: And you wanted to Elope. 19 00:01:05,184 --> 00:01:08,664 Speaker 3: Yes, And I don't know, A lope makes it sound 20 00:01:08,744 --> 00:01:13,904 Speaker 3: so almost like rebellious and dirty and rash. But it 21 00:01:13,984 --> 00:01:16,064 Speaker 3: was more that I just didn't want to have a wedding. 22 00:01:16,184 --> 00:01:18,624 Speaker 3: Part of the problem with the wedding for me is 23 00:01:18,664 --> 00:01:22,384 Speaker 3: because I knew that the default was going to be 24 00:01:22,744 --> 00:01:24,904 Speaker 3: on me doing much of the work what are. 25 00:01:24,864 --> 00:01:27,664 Speaker 2: You talking about? I found the place I picked. 26 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:30,984 Speaker 3: The excuse me, we both scouted places together, that's true. 27 00:01:31,144 --> 00:01:34,344 Speaker 3: I arranged the flower, you did the flower, Okay, The 28 00:01:34,384 --> 00:01:36,064 Speaker 3: problem was and I found the photographer. 29 00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,504 Speaker 2: Yes you're Missus Dellaway. We're all very impressed. 30 00:01:38,544 --> 00:01:43,544 Speaker 3: But I told nobody understands your missus jokes a joke 31 00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:47,344 Speaker 3: about Missus Dollaay, and nobody gets it. It's like your 32 00:01:47,424 --> 00:01:51,904 Speaker 3: way of you're distracting. I did so much you think 33 00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:54,184 Speaker 3: I did. This is so not fair. First of all, 34 00:01:54,224 --> 00:01:56,784 Speaker 3: a lot of it was convincing you that, yes, we 35 00:01:56,824 --> 00:01:59,344 Speaker 3: need music at our wedding. Yes, we need flowers at 36 00:01:59,384 --> 00:02:01,904 Speaker 3: our wedding, Yes we need a photographer. People don't want 37 00:02:01,944 --> 00:02:04,184 Speaker 3: to be invited to a wedding that isn't a wedding. 38 00:02:04,904 --> 00:02:07,304 Speaker 2: I'm thrilled that we had a wedding. I thought it 39 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:10,904 Speaker 2: was lovely. I was going to end this intro by 40 00:02:11,024 --> 00:02:13,224 Speaker 2: asking you to renew our vows, but I guess that's 41 00:02:13,264 --> 00:02:14,144 Speaker 2: not in the cards. 42 00:02:14,184 --> 00:02:16,384 Speaker 3: We could go to city Hall. 43 00:02:17,744 --> 00:02:22,224 Speaker 2: We're gonna read out a restaurant. We're gonna lope, renew 44 00:02:22,264 --> 00:02:22,904 Speaker 2: our bouts, have a. 45 00:02:22,944 --> 00:02:25,984 Speaker 3: Nice meal with some of our friends. 46 00:02:26,504 --> 00:02:37,744 Speaker 2: All right to dated writing is hard. Who's got that 47 00:02:37,864 --> 00:02:40,984 Speaker 2: kind of time when you're already busy trying to be 48 00:02:41,184 --> 00:02:43,584 Speaker 2: you don't stand So it turns on a mic. 49 00:02:43,944 --> 00:02:47,264 Speaker 1: Maybe the twiddles nap because a journalist. 50 00:02:46,704 --> 00:02:48,624 Speaker 2: Trand has got in that jugle. 51 00:02:50,664 --> 00:02:58,104 Speaker 1: Single story. Just listen to smart people, conversation, film and information. 52 00:02:58,304 --> 00:03:11,904 Speaker 2: It's a story up. When she was at college at Brown, 53 00:03:12,224 --> 00:03:15,864 Speaker 2: Sochill Gonzalez met some people that she called fake poor. 54 00:03:16,984 --> 00:03:20,144 Speaker 2: My wife went to Skidmore, which was full of these people. 55 00:03:20,544 --> 00:03:23,864 Speaker 2: They're kids who grew up super rich and were desperate 56 00:03:23,944 --> 00:03:27,704 Speaker 2: to seem normal. They'd actually sometimes borrow money from you 57 00:03:28,024 --> 00:03:31,424 Speaker 2: and then not pay you back, pretending somehow that they couldn't. 58 00:03:32,264 --> 00:03:36,064 Speaker 2: It's the pulp song common people, which we can't afford 59 00:03:36,104 --> 00:03:39,704 Speaker 2: the rights too, so just trust me. After Brown, Sochill 60 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,744 Speaker 2: worked as a wedding planner in New York City for 61 00:03:42,104 --> 00:03:45,184 Speaker 2: ultra rich people, but there was one wedding she was 62 00:03:45,264 --> 00:03:49,264 Speaker 2: hired to do for a fake poor bride. Sochill wrote 63 00:03:49,264 --> 00:03:52,104 Speaker 2: about planning this wedding both in her novel Olga Daized 64 00:03:52,184 --> 00:03:55,864 Speaker 2: Dreaming and her recent article for The Atlantic. Wait, okay, 65 00:03:55,904 --> 00:03:58,824 Speaker 2: so growing up, how much did you know about like 66 00:03:59,144 --> 00:03:59,984 Speaker 2: high end weddings? 67 00:04:00,184 --> 00:04:02,144 Speaker 1: I knew nothing about high end wedding. I mean, my 68 00:04:02,264 --> 00:04:05,464 Speaker 1: family's from Brooklyn and everybody just had a catering hall wedding. 69 00:04:05,624 --> 00:04:07,264 Speaker 1: You know, like if they were going to have a wedding, 70 00:04:07,344 --> 00:04:10,104 Speaker 1: they'd go to like one of these turnkey catering halls 71 00:04:10,664 --> 00:04:13,184 Speaker 1: and yeah, and it's like, you know, X number of 72 00:04:13,224 --> 00:04:16,624 Speaker 1: dollars ahead and there's you know, maybe splurge and have 73 00:04:16,664 --> 00:04:20,424 Speaker 1: a Venetian hours really fancy. Relatives got married at Russ 74 00:04:20,464 --> 00:04:22,424 Speaker 1: on the Bay in Queens and you'd come out of 75 00:04:22,464 --> 00:04:25,264 Speaker 1: this floor. Yeah, it was lavish in a very outer 76 00:04:25,304 --> 00:04:26,144 Speaker 1: borough kind of way. 77 00:04:26,384 --> 00:04:28,784 Speaker 2: What was your parents' wedding? Like you said that they 78 00:04:28,784 --> 00:04:29,944 Speaker 2: had a football wedding? 79 00:04:30,064 --> 00:04:33,104 Speaker 1: Oh, my grandparents had a football Well that is that is? 80 00:04:33,264 --> 00:04:34,704 Speaker 1: Oh a football. 81 00:04:34,304 --> 00:04:36,784 Speaker 2: Wedding is like sounds like the most American thing I've 82 00:04:36,824 --> 00:04:37,264 Speaker 2: ever heard. 83 00:04:37,624 --> 00:04:40,424 Speaker 1: It's either so American or I always like it seems 84 00:04:40,504 --> 00:04:44,504 Speaker 1: so like ethnic. Like you get Italian heroes and they're 85 00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:47,224 Speaker 1: sort of wrapped up in tinfoil. You know, you go 86 00:04:47,264 --> 00:04:49,384 Speaker 1: to like a deli, you get a bunch of heroes 87 00:04:49,744 --> 00:04:52,944 Speaker 1: and then people just call out to whoever's standing near 88 00:04:53,024 --> 00:04:55,424 Speaker 1: the table where all the sandwiches are, and they toss 89 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,704 Speaker 1: the hero to whoever they want. They're like, oh, give 90 00:04:57,744 --> 00:05:00,664 Speaker 1: me a turkey, give me a provoloan, give me a salami, 91 00:05:00,824 --> 00:05:04,144 Speaker 1: and then they throw them. And so that's why it 92 00:05:04,224 --> 00:05:07,024 Speaker 1: was known as a football wedding because they would toss 93 00:05:07,064 --> 00:05:09,904 Speaker 1: heroes across the little hall that you'd rent out. 94 00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:12,424 Speaker 2: The tossing is a key part to the wedding. 95 00:05:12,624 --> 00:05:16,584 Speaker 1: Yes, the food distribution system was tossing, and that's how 96 00:05:16,744 --> 00:05:18,904 Speaker 1: that was a wedding. So this was kind of what 97 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:23,224 Speaker 1: my family knew about weddings. Nobody understood at all what 98 00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:25,424 Speaker 1: it was that I was doing. And I almost don't 99 00:05:25,504 --> 00:05:27,664 Speaker 1: even know in the beginning that I totally understood what 100 00:05:27,784 --> 00:05:28,984 Speaker 1: I was getting into. 101 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:33,624 Speaker 2: You graduate Brown, and do you immediately start this wedding planning. 102 00:05:34,304 --> 00:05:37,864 Speaker 1: I graduated Brown. I worked at a really bad art 103 00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:40,344 Speaker 1: gallery in Soho for a while where I was mildly 104 00:05:40,384 --> 00:05:43,544 Speaker 1: abused and being paid minimum wage. I ended up getting 105 00:05:43,584 --> 00:05:47,384 Speaker 1: a job like art adjacent. I was like planning events 106 00:05:47,464 --> 00:05:50,624 Speaker 1: for an advertising award show, and I met all of 107 00:05:50,664 --> 00:05:54,064 Speaker 1: these creative directors, like you know, the mad men of 108 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,904 Speaker 1: the nineties, one might say, and they would like they 109 00:05:57,944 --> 00:05:59,584 Speaker 1: started getting married and they were like, you know, you 110 00:05:59,624 --> 00:06:02,584 Speaker 1: plan such great parties. Would you want to help with 111 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,944 Speaker 1: our wedding. We want to have like an unusual wedding, 112 00:06:05,464 --> 00:06:09,064 Speaker 1: And so that was sort of how I segued into. 113 00:06:08,824 --> 00:06:11,384 Speaker 2: Webbing what year is this around? 114 00:06:11,384 --> 00:06:13,624 Speaker 1: When you see this is like oh three oh three 115 00:06:13,704 --> 00:06:14,144 Speaker 1: oh four? 116 00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:17,464 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well I need to get an idea 117 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,424 Speaker 2: of how much money we're talking like how much do 118 00:06:19,544 --> 00:06:21,984 Speaker 2: you charge and how much? How expensive are these weddings. 119 00:06:22,144 --> 00:06:26,104 Speaker 1: So at this point we were probably still charging a 120 00:06:26,144 --> 00:06:29,784 Speaker 1: flat feet so we would charge you know, anywhere between 121 00:06:29,784 --> 00:06:31,744 Speaker 1: fifteen and like twenty five thousand dollars. 122 00:06:31,944 --> 00:06:32,904 Speaker 2: That's a good business. 123 00:06:33,064 --> 00:06:35,304 Speaker 1: We were doing well, like I was like proud of it, 124 00:06:35,304 --> 00:06:37,424 Speaker 1: like you know, like I was like, this is going great. 125 00:06:37,544 --> 00:06:41,184 Speaker 1: And then one day I get this phone call and 126 00:06:41,224 --> 00:06:45,944 Speaker 1: the woman says, this is an emergency. I need you 127 00:06:45,984 --> 00:06:50,304 Speaker 1: to save my daughter's wedding. And I was okay, and 128 00:06:50,384 --> 00:06:52,544 Speaker 1: she was like, you have to come up town to 129 00:06:52,664 --> 00:06:56,344 Speaker 1: my house because only then can you understand the disaster 130 00:06:56,464 --> 00:06:58,384 Speaker 1: that's happening. And this wedding is in six weeks and 131 00:06:58,424 --> 00:07:00,424 Speaker 1: you need to come to see my house in order 132 00:07:00,424 --> 00:07:02,624 Speaker 1: for me to explain this to you. My daughter's gonna 133 00:07:02,744 --> 00:07:04,544 Speaker 1: it's coming in to meet you. Tomorrow, but I need 134 00:07:04,544 --> 00:07:05,304 Speaker 1: to see you tonight. 135 00:07:05,824 --> 00:07:08,504 Speaker 2: Okay, So this mom calls you, and what's your reaction. 136 00:07:08,584 --> 00:07:10,424 Speaker 2: Do you think, oh, I'll go up take that meeting, 137 00:07:10,544 --> 00:07:12,104 Speaker 2: or this sounds awful or yeah. 138 00:07:12,144 --> 00:07:12,384 Speaker 3: You know. 139 00:07:12,544 --> 00:07:15,824 Speaker 1: The thing is you are so frog boiled into bizarre 140 00:07:15,824 --> 00:07:18,664 Speaker 1: and crazy that like you're just like all right, you know. 141 00:07:18,864 --> 00:07:20,664 Speaker 1: So she just gives you an address and you're just like, 142 00:07:20,704 --> 00:07:23,304 Speaker 1: maybe i'll make some money, and then like literally the 143 00:07:23,384 --> 00:07:25,504 Speaker 1: last thing she says before she hangs up the phone is, 144 00:07:26,064 --> 00:07:28,944 Speaker 1: by the way, I'm very very rich, and then she 145 00:07:29,224 --> 00:07:30,264 Speaker 1: hangs up the phone. 146 00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:33,664 Speaker 2: Okay, Now, when someone says I'm very very rich, does 147 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:36,824 Speaker 2: that mean they're very very rich or it means they're not, so, 148 00:07:36,984 --> 00:07:37,264 Speaker 2: you know. 149 00:07:37,584 --> 00:07:39,744 Speaker 1: Normally you would think that they're not. 150 00:07:40,064 --> 00:07:40,264 Speaker 2: Right. 151 00:07:40,344 --> 00:07:42,384 Speaker 1: It's like a real Housewives kind of thing to say, 152 00:07:42,464 --> 00:07:45,544 Speaker 1: you know, I'm rich, Like who actually says that? But 153 00:07:46,104 --> 00:07:49,264 Speaker 1: in this particular case, it was true. And the other 154 00:07:49,304 --> 00:07:53,304 Speaker 1: thing is the skill that I really have is really 155 00:07:53,344 --> 00:07:55,944 Speaker 1: sniffing out money. Like at one point I could tell 156 00:07:55,984 --> 00:07:58,624 Speaker 1: you sort of like what the average like household income 157 00:07:58,664 --> 00:08:00,424 Speaker 1: of a neighborhood was, because I'd be like, where do 158 00:08:00,464 --> 00:08:02,384 Speaker 1: they live? And like I'd look up the address, like, you. 159 00:08:02,384 --> 00:08:03,864 Speaker 2: Know, like, can you tell how much money I have 160 00:08:04,144 --> 00:08:05,344 Speaker 2: just from talking to me? No? 161 00:08:05,904 --> 00:08:08,544 Speaker 1: I can't. But like I could probably ask some leading questions, 162 00:08:08,544 --> 00:08:10,704 Speaker 1: but I won't because you know we're going to be friends. 163 00:08:10,904 --> 00:08:12,944 Speaker 2: Give me one question to ask people to find out 164 00:08:12,944 --> 00:08:13,424 Speaker 2: if they're rich. 165 00:08:13,504 --> 00:08:14,944 Speaker 1: Well, the number one thing I would ask, now, I 166 00:08:14,944 --> 00:08:16,064 Speaker 1: was like, what are you up to this summer? 167 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:21,904 Speaker 2: Nice? That's perfect, Okay, So you go up. 168 00:08:22,304 --> 00:08:25,624 Speaker 1: So I go up, and it was truly very rich. 169 00:08:26,104 --> 00:08:28,704 Speaker 1: I mean you sort of walk in and the elevator opens, 170 00:08:28,744 --> 00:08:31,584 Speaker 1: and you are like in a marble floored hallway, and 171 00:08:31,624 --> 00:08:36,344 Speaker 1: there's oil paintings on every wall, and there's a housekeeper 172 00:08:36,424 --> 00:08:39,984 Speaker 1: that meets you who's dressed like you would imagine a housekeeper. 173 00:08:40,304 --> 00:08:43,064 Speaker 2: And wait, no, an actual like made out thing. 174 00:08:43,304 --> 00:08:44,384 Speaker 1: Yeah, he don't know. 175 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,224 Speaker 2: That still happens. 176 00:08:45,304 --> 00:08:48,504 Speaker 1: It still totally happens. I really liked the mother of 177 00:08:48,544 --> 00:08:51,464 Speaker 1: the Bride. I'm going to admit, like I really right 178 00:08:51,544 --> 00:08:54,704 Speaker 1: away because it was like she did the whole thing, 179 00:08:54,744 --> 00:08:56,904 Speaker 1: and later I would come to find out she was 180 00:08:56,944 --> 00:08:59,384 Speaker 1: not herself from a lot of money, right, like they 181 00:08:59,424 --> 00:09:02,544 Speaker 1: had sort of like come into the money as like 182 00:09:02,744 --> 00:09:06,104 Speaker 1: she had married and she really enjoyed it for that reason, right, 183 00:09:06,304 --> 00:09:09,784 Speaker 1: And the mom looked very upper East, that's the best 184 00:09:09,824 --> 00:09:12,944 Speaker 1: way to put it, like rail thin, like you know, 185 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:19,224 Speaker 1: just chanelle head to toe, like just really dressed all 186 00:09:19,264 --> 00:09:22,584 Speaker 1: the time, and she hated to eat but loved to drink. 187 00:09:22,624 --> 00:09:24,544 Speaker 1: And I just kind of like dug it, like you know, 188 00:09:24,584 --> 00:09:26,624 Speaker 1: it was like she just it's a life. 189 00:09:27,104 --> 00:09:29,984 Speaker 2: You walk into this apartment, is there a piano? Right away, 190 00:09:30,024 --> 00:09:30,704 Speaker 2: there's a piano. 191 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,824 Speaker 1: There's totally a piano. And she's waiting in the library 192 00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:36,704 Speaker 1: because there's a library and it's just for books in 193 00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:40,224 Speaker 1: her computer. And right away she was like she was like, 194 00:09:40,504 --> 00:09:42,904 Speaker 1: this is the problem, right, and she sort of gestures 195 00:09:42,944 --> 00:09:46,544 Speaker 1: around to the room and she was like she's embarrassed 196 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,864 Speaker 1: of it. And she's like she's embarrassed of all of this. 197 00:09:50,504 --> 00:09:53,584 Speaker 1: And so the whole thing was that the daughter didn't 198 00:09:53,584 --> 00:09:55,024 Speaker 1: want the mother to have anything to do with it 199 00:09:55,104 --> 00:09:57,304 Speaker 1: except to pay for it. She was like, I just 200 00:09:57,344 --> 00:10:01,024 Speaker 1: want to have an average budget wedding. So the mom 201 00:10:01,064 --> 00:10:02,744 Speaker 1: in the beginning didn't even know what that meant, but 202 00:10:02,784 --> 00:10:05,504 Speaker 1: she's like, fine, go ahead. And now as the wedding's approaching, 203 00:10:06,184 --> 00:10:08,784 Speaker 1: they go to see the venue and the mother is 204 00:10:08,824 --> 00:10:12,184 Speaker 1: like finally like is allowed to be included in something 205 00:10:12,304 --> 00:10:16,384 Speaker 1: and she realizes that what's average is terrible. You have 206 00:10:16,424 --> 00:10:18,944 Speaker 1: to realize this is building on top of years you 207 00:10:18,944 --> 00:10:21,624 Speaker 1: know the mom had like she is like like she's 208 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:24,384 Speaker 1: rejecting all my fineries. She's living in a walk up, 209 00:10:24,704 --> 00:10:27,384 Speaker 1: like she's wearing old Navy. I'm trying to give her 210 00:10:27,424 --> 00:10:30,384 Speaker 1: this lovely life. My other kids are so happy to 211 00:10:30,424 --> 00:10:32,664 Speaker 1: come to the house in the Hampton's to wear all 212 00:10:32,744 --> 00:10:35,144 Speaker 1: my kidsture, and she won't have any of it. So 213 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:38,184 Speaker 1: this was building off of years of exasperation. 214 00:10:38,384 --> 00:10:40,624 Speaker 2: Was it going to be at least a nice average wedding? 215 00:10:40,824 --> 00:10:41,864 Speaker 2: That this one was gonna happen? 216 00:10:41,864 --> 00:10:43,904 Speaker 1: And it didn't help that there wasn't a lot of 217 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:47,304 Speaker 1: good taste involved. When I arrived, it was kind of 218 00:10:47,424 --> 00:10:49,584 Speaker 1: neither here nor there. It was neither a nice, low 219 00:10:49,584 --> 00:10:53,144 Speaker 1: budget wedding nor a well done like expensive wedding. It 220 00:10:53,184 --> 00:10:55,504 Speaker 1: was it was hovering in this realm of like, I 221 00:10:55,504 --> 00:10:56,304 Speaker 1: don't know what I am. 222 00:10:56,384 --> 00:10:58,304 Speaker 2: So what were the details that you and the mom 223 00:10:58,424 --> 00:10:59,104 Speaker 2: didn't approve of? 224 00:10:59,664 --> 00:11:01,304 Speaker 1: Well, there we had them, Like I think sitting at 225 00:11:01,344 --> 00:11:03,744 Speaker 1: picnic tables. There was like a jam jar trend that 226 00:11:03,824 --> 00:11:06,344 Speaker 1: was running around at the time, and so like there 227 00:11:06,384 --> 00:11:09,864 Speaker 1: was supposed to be jam jars for wine glasses, lizeh 228 00:11:09,904 --> 00:11:11,944 Speaker 1: little Mason jars for wine glasses, and like some of 229 00:11:11,944 --> 00:11:14,984 Speaker 1: it was they just had too many people for the space, 230 00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:17,944 Speaker 1: so like it was gonna be very very hot. The 231 00:11:18,064 --> 00:11:20,584 Speaker 1: ac and the venue didn't completely work. It was really 232 00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:23,664 Speaker 1: it was a bit of a mess. And so the 233 00:11:23,704 --> 00:11:28,184 Speaker 1: mom says, listen, She's like, you have got to help me, 234 00:11:28,264 --> 00:11:30,264 Speaker 1: because she can be poor all she wants, but my 235 00:11:30,464 --> 00:11:34,144 Speaker 1: friends know we have money, and I can't stand by this, 236 00:11:34,344 --> 00:11:36,424 Speaker 1: like right, So the woman explains to me how it's 237 00:11:36,464 --> 00:11:38,384 Speaker 1: gonna work, and what I was supposed to do was 238 00:11:38,504 --> 00:11:42,664 Speaker 1: essentially start to slowly upgrade things. And as the daughter 239 00:11:42,824 --> 00:11:46,704 Speaker 1: was concerned about cost or expresses anxiety about costs, I'm 240 00:11:46,704 --> 00:11:49,824 Speaker 1: supposed to just say it's included in the contract, right, 241 00:11:49,984 --> 00:11:52,624 Speaker 1: So like you know, you would say, how about we 242 00:11:52,664 --> 00:11:55,424 Speaker 1: serve these baby lamb shops instead of the pigs in 243 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,824 Speaker 1: a blanket And I'd be like, well, they're very good, 244 00:11:57,904 --> 00:11:59,824 Speaker 1: but is that going to add a lot to the budget, 245 00:11:59,864 --> 00:12:02,224 Speaker 1: And you would just like, it's included in the contract, 246 00:12:02,664 --> 00:12:05,624 Speaker 1: and then the mom would secretly pay the upgrade fee. 247 00:12:06,744 --> 00:12:09,704 Speaker 2: First of all, that's insane. But secondly, I don't see 248 00:12:09,704 --> 00:12:11,704 Speaker 2: how that works, because if my whole goal is to 249 00:12:11,784 --> 00:12:15,424 Speaker 2: present poor, then no one knows what I paid, I'm 250 00:12:15,464 --> 00:12:17,744 Speaker 2: gonna look rich, which is against the whole point of 251 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:18,544 Speaker 2: being fake poor. 252 00:12:18,824 --> 00:12:21,184 Speaker 1: So what we agreed upon was that it was never 253 00:12:21,224 --> 00:12:23,704 Speaker 1: going to be ostentageous, but that we were going to 254 00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:26,744 Speaker 1: find a way too nice, so that it would be 255 00:12:26,864 --> 00:12:28,824 Speaker 1: the type of thing where if you didn't know what 256 00:12:28,904 --> 00:12:32,144 Speaker 1: things cost, you wouldn't necessarily walk in and think like 257 00:12:32,344 --> 00:12:34,344 Speaker 1: that was lavish, right. 258 00:12:34,224 --> 00:12:37,424 Speaker 2: Like, it's right, there's probably a couple signifiers that you 259 00:12:37,504 --> 00:12:37,824 Speaker 2: have to. 260 00:12:37,784 --> 00:12:41,424 Speaker 1: Avoid, and a lot of the time it's in most 261 00:12:41,464 --> 00:12:44,824 Speaker 1: people's mind it's like big floral arrangements, right, Like they 262 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,344 Speaker 1: don't realize that actually what was most expensive is that 263 00:12:47,384 --> 00:12:49,944 Speaker 1: we recovered all of the old floor with new floor 264 00:12:49,944 --> 00:12:53,064 Speaker 1: and brought in an air conditioning unit. Right, Like waiters 265 00:12:53,144 --> 00:12:55,344 Speaker 1: cost a lot of money. People cost a lot of money. 266 00:12:55,344 --> 00:12:59,184 Speaker 1: But like, but people are the difference between your table 267 00:12:59,184 --> 00:13:03,264 Speaker 1: being full of dirty glasses and you having like a 268 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:06,784 Speaker 1: super clean table, always having your wine glass refilled. But 269 00:13:06,864 --> 00:13:11,504 Speaker 1: this is so okay, It's pelicitous, isn't it. It's fiendish? 270 00:13:11,704 --> 00:13:14,584 Speaker 2: In some ways, do you think about saying no, Like 271 00:13:14,624 --> 00:13:20,064 Speaker 2: this seems really both challenging and ethically precarious, Like. 272 00:13:20,344 --> 00:13:24,744 Speaker 1: Perhaps subconsciously, I had had a lot of resentments for 273 00:13:24,784 --> 00:13:25,624 Speaker 1: fake poor people. 274 00:13:26,024 --> 00:13:30,584 Speaker 4: Yeah, and so I sort of understood where the mom 275 00:13:30,664 --> 00:13:33,824 Speaker 4: was coming from and was in some ways frustrated because 276 00:13:33,864 --> 00:13:36,464 Speaker 4: when the daughter would like freak. 277 00:13:36,264 --> 00:13:39,344 Speaker 1: Out and be like, I don't know, that sounds expensive, 278 00:13:39,424 --> 00:13:42,704 Speaker 1: Like you are like mad about money going into the 279 00:13:42,744 --> 00:13:45,264 Speaker 1: pockets of people that are not rich, that are like 280 00:13:45,464 --> 00:13:49,904 Speaker 1: super working people. All these jobs are like physical labor jobs. 281 00:13:50,144 --> 00:13:52,704 Speaker 1: I think, Like it was almost egregious to me to 282 00:13:52,864 --> 00:13:56,344 Speaker 1: see her want to hoarde something that she didn't value, 283 00:13:56,664 --> 00:14:00,544 Speaker 1: but for the sake of appearances versus like actually help 284 00:14:01,104 --> 00:14:03,384 Speaker 1: like people that are working earn more, you know what 285 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,784 Speaker 1: I mean. Like, and so it was like it was 286 00:14:05,904 --> 00:14:10,184 Speaker 1: the idea that it was about an image versus a principle. 287 00:14:10,864 --> 00:14:14,544 Speaker 1: I just kind of resented that for image's sake, this 288 00:14:14,704 --> 00:14:16,704 Speaker 1: was like all just kind of being held right. 289 00:14:17,104 --> 00:14:19,344 Speaker 2: I'm so convinced I think you should run for office. 290 00:14:19,384 --> 00:14:23,824 Speaker 2: You just completely justified that and made me believe, Yeah, 291 00:14:24,104 --> 00:14:26,184 Speaker 2: I guess you don't think this job is too crazy 292 00:14:26,224 --> 00:14:26,664 Speaker 2: to accept. 293 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:30,024 Speaker 1: I definitely felt it was crazy, like I wouldn't lie, 294 00:14:30,424 --> 00:14:32,304 Speaker 1: but it was like a large amount of money in 295 00:14:32,344 --> 00:14:34,544 Speaker 1: a really small amount of time, and you're like, we 296 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,984 Speaker 1: can get through it. It's gonna be fine. You could 297 00:14:37,024 --> 00:14:39,544 Speaker 1: see right away that the mom honed in on me 298 00:14:39,864 --> 00:14:42,864 Speaker 1: and was like, you are going to be my wedding friend. 299 00:14:42,984 --> 00:14:44,584 Speaker 2: You liked you, Yeah, she likes you. 300 00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:47,144 Speaker 1: I liked her like. She would come up with just 301 00:14:47,184 --> 00:14:49,544 Speaker 1: like the most ridiculous excuses to have a meeting, Like 302 00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,384 Speaker 1: she'd be like, you know what we need to talk about. 303 00:14:51,464 --> 00:14:54,624 Speaker 1: Are the napkins? Come up town. I'm going to show 304 00:14:54,624 --> 00:14:56,704 Speaker 1: you the kinds of napkins that we need for this wedding. 305 00:14:56,904 --> 00:14:58,984 Speaker 1: We're gonna pick the napkins and then we'll have lunch. 306 00:15:00,344 --> 00:15:03,064 Speaker 1: It was all I think, in some ways just a 307 00:15:03,184 --> 00:15:06,344 Speaker 1: ruse to like, But I really think she wanted was 308 00:15:06,464 --> 00:15:09,704 Speaker 1: somebody to have fun spending money with. Right, And you'd 309 00:15:09,744 --> 00:15:11,784 Speaker 1: go and you'd sit there and talk about napkins, and 310 00:15:11,784 --> 00:15:13,784 Speaker 1: then you'd talk about life, and you'd talk about love, 311 00:15:13,824 --> 00:15:15,664 Speaker 1: and she'd ask about your love life. And you know, 312 00:15:15,744 --> 00:15:18,344 Speaker 1: at the time, I was recently divorced, and she was like, 313 00:15:18,824 --> 00:15:20,024 Speaker 1: marry rich next time. 314 00:15:20,784 --> 00:15:21,424 Speaker 2: Oh really? 315 00:15:21,744 --> 00:15:24,184 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she was just like it's so much fun. 316 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,144 Speaker 1: She really was having a fun time with her life. 317 00:15:27,304 --> 00:15:29,264 Speaker 2: Okay, so does this scam work? 318 00:15:29,424 --> 00:15:33,184 Speaker 1: At first, it's totally working. We're all getting along swimmingly. 319 00:15:33,824 --> 00:15:37,384 Speaker 1: And then we have a meeting with the caterer at 320 00:15:37,464 --> 00:15:40,384 Speaker 1: the venue. The bride says, well, look, I was like, 321 00:15:40,424 --> 00:15:42,664 Speaker 1: and here's where we're going to put the flower arrangement 322 00:15:42,904 --> 00:15:45,424 Speaker 1: with your escort cards. And the escort card is a 323 00:15:45,424 --> 00:15:47,504 Speaker 1: little piece of paper that tells you what table to 324 00:15:47,584 --> 00:15:48,424 Speaker 1: go and sit at. 325 00:15:48,584 --> 00:15:50,184 Speaker 2: Well, that's called the escort. 326 00:15:49,904 --> 00:15:52,944 Speaker 1: Card because it escorts you to your table. I don't 327 00:15:52,984 --> 00:15:57,864 Speaker 1: like that, so the escort card. And the bride says, 328 00:15:57,904 --> 00:15:59,584 Speaker 1: you know, I've been thinking a lot about it, and 329 00:15:59,624 --> 00:16:01,744 Speaker 1: I want to reduce the carbon footprint of the wedding, 330 00:16:02,784 --> 00:16:04,904 Speaker 1: and I was thinking that we could do that by 331 00:16:04,944 --> 00:16:06,624 Speaker 1: having an edible escort card. 332 00:16:07,144 --> 00:16:10,024 Speaker 2: This is the bride's ideas the bride's idea, that's a 333 00:16:10,064 --> 00:16:10,984 Speaker 2: very expensive idea. 334 00:16:11,064 --> 00:16:12,944 Speaker 1: Well, I think she thought it would be a cheap 335 00:16:12,944 --> 00:16:15,744 Speaker 1: idea because they were already paying for drives. So she 336 00:16:15,784 --> 00:16:17,264 Speaker 1: felt like, can we just put some of those were 337 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,824 Speaker 1: drives on this table and put toothpicks in them and 338 00:16:19,904 --> 00:16:22,824 Speaker 1: have the toothpick have the the tag, and so I said, well, 339 00:16:22,824 --> 00:16:25,264 Speaker 1: what ORDRV were you thinking of this as a slightly 340 00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:29,784 Speaker 1: strange idea. So the idea was to have bacon wrap 341 00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:34,104 Speaker 1: dates on this table cloth, and I thought it was 342 00:16:34,144 --> 00:16:39,344 Speaker 1: just with little toothpicks and like tags on them, like sales. 343 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,064 Speaker 1: And I was like, it's going to look like a 344 00:16:41,104 --> 00:16:44,664 Speaker 1: table full of floating turns, like little turn chips, you know. 345 00:16:44,984 --> 00:16:48,264 Speaker 1: So she leaves and I email the mother of the 346 00:16:48,264 --> 00:16:51,584 Speaker 1: bride and I was like, everything was okay except this 347 00:16:51,784 --> 00:16:54,264 Speaker 1: escort card thing. I was like, here's what she wants 348 00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:56,104 Speaker 1: to do. I don't know how we're going to stop her. 349 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:59,704 Speaker 1: And she writes back, for Christ's sake, I wish you 350 00:16:59,744 --> 00:17:03,264 Speaker 1: were my daughter. And three hours later I get a 351 00:17:03,264 --> 00:17:06,224 Speaker 1: phone call and it's the mom whispering, and she's like 352 00:17:07,264 --> 00:17:11,104 Speaker 1: she knows everything. She saw emails. 353 00:17:11,104 --> 00:17:13,904 Speaker 2: Oh my god, she saw the emails saying she wish 354 00:17:13,944 --> 00:17:15,984 Speaker 2: you were her daughter instead of her. That email, no, 355 00:17:16,824 --> 00:17:17,944 Speaker 2: oh that's devastating. 356 00:17:17,984 --> 00:17:21,024 Speaker 1: Oh it's devastating. It's oh, no, devastating. 357 00:17:21,064 --> 00:17:24,144 Speaker 2: And so she've learned two things. Your mother is doing 358 00:17:24,184 --> 00:17:25,944 Speaker 2: something behind your back that you don't want her to do, 359 00:17:26,384 --> 00:17:28,904 Speaker 2: and that she loves your wedding planner more than you. 360 00:17:28,824 --> 00:17:32,464 Speaker 1: Like she's basically having like an adulterous affair with your 361 00:17:32,464 --> 00:17:38,144 Speaker 1: wedding planner. Okay, Oh no, so she insists, rightfully, so 362 00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:39,144 Speaker 1: that I be fired. 363 00:17:39,384 --> 00:17:40,464 Speaker 2: Oh you have to be fired. 364 00:17:40,544 --> 00:17:41,984 Speaker 1: Of course I have to be fired. 365 00:17:41,984 --> 00:17:43,024 Speaker 2: I can never talk to you yet. 366 00:17:43,024 --> 00:17:46,984 Speaker 1: But like, the mom couldn't quit me, but I just 367 00:17:47,184 --> 00:17:50,224 Speaker 1: I can't do this without you. She's like, we have 368 00:17:50,304 --> 00:17:51,104 Speaker 1: to figure this out. 369 00:17:51,864 --> 00:17:54,184 Speaker 2: How long before the wedding? Did the mom be? 370 00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:56,624 Speaker 1: Like two and a half weeks before the wedding? 371 00:17:56,744 --> 00:18:02,264 Speaker 2: Like, oh, that's crisis time. It's crisis time after the break, 372 00:18:02,544 --> 00:18:05,224 Speaker 2: So Jill finds a way to work undercover for the 373 00:18:05,224 --> 00:18:09,264 Speaker 2: mother of the bride. But first, our advertisers are going 374 00:18:09,344 --> 00:18:13,104 Speaker 2: to sell you an escort. Yes, it has come to 375 00:18:13,184 --> 00:18:23,904 Speaker 2: that these are hard times for podcasts. Okay, So the 376 00:18:23,944 --> 00:18:26,264 Speaker 2: mom has fired you because she has to from her 377 00:18:26,344 --> 00:18:29,384 Speaker 2: daughter's wedding. And do you just walk away at that 378 00:18:29,464 --> 00:18:31,264 Speaker 2: point or is there more to this? 379 00:18:31,664 --> 00:18:35,504 Speaker 1: We devise a ruse more elaborate than the first ruse, 380 00:18:36,304 --> 00:18:41,144 Speaker 1: where I take one of my staffers and I said, listen, 381 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:47,264 Speaker 1: obviously I understand I'm stepping back. Please meet Anita. Anita 382 00:18:47,344 --> 00:18:49,984 Speaker 1: works for the caterer, and she's going to take care 383 00:18:50,024 --> 00:18:51,144 Speaker 1: of everything from now on. 384 00:18:51,544 --> 00:18:53,704 Speaker 2: Wait, he is a woman who works for you, yes, 385 00:18:53,944 --> 00:18:56,504 Speaker 2: who's now pretending to work work for the caterer. And 386 00:18:56,544 --> 00:18:58,384 Speaker 2: the caterers in on it too, And. 387 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,944 Speaker 1: The caterer now is in on it. Now everybody's getting glad. 388 00:19:00,984 --> 00:19:02,944 Speaker 1: The florist is in on it, the baker is in 389 00:19:02,984 --> 00:19:05,944 Speaker 1: on it. Everybody's in on it because they're presenting fake 390 00:19:06,064 --> 00:19:08,904 Speaker 1: quotes at meetings, like saying one thing, oh, this is 391 00:19:08,944 --> 00:19:11,264 Speaker 1: like two hundred dollars a centerpiece, and then in reality 392 00:19:11,304 --> 00:19:14,104 Speaker 1: it's like seven hundred dollars. So like like everyone is 393 00:19:14,104 --> 00:19:15,984 Speaker 1: in on it. Everybody is in on this. 394 00:19:16,224 --> 00:19:18,504 Speaker 2: So now the bride thinks you're not working on the wedding, 395 00:19:18,984 --> 00:19:22,024 Speaker 2: but you are through your proxies and my. 396 00:19:22,144 --> 00:19:26,304 Speaker 1: Proxies, through my spies, and I'm still plotting and adding 397 00:19:26,704 --> 00:19:30,384 Speaker 1: and decorating and doing things with the mom and deploying 398 00:19:30,664 --> 00:19:33,824 Speaker 1: her orders to all of the vendors who they she 399 00:19:34,104 --> 00:19:36,624 Speaker 1: thinks now report to her, but still report to me 400 00:19:37,664 --> 00:19:38,784 Speaker 1: as a head of state. 401 00:19:39,224 --> 00:19:42,184 Speaker 2: What is the monetary differential between what the bride thinks 402 00:19:42,184 --> 00:19:44,064 Speaker 2: she's paying what she's actually going to do? 403 00:19:44,304 --> 00:19:47,464 Speaker 1: Right, thinks that we've added costs, but probably like ten 404 00:19:47,504 --> 00:19:50,344 Speaker 1: thousand dollars worth of cost, and in reality, we probably 405 00:19:50,344 --> 00:19:52,584 Speaker 1: added like one hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth of 406 00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:53,984 Speaker 1: cost and. 407 00:19:53,944 --> 00:19:55,064 Speaker 2: You've been able to hide them. 408 00:19:55,264 --> 00:19:57,424 Speaker 1: Yeah, and a lot of stuff she didn't even know about, 409 00:19:57,504 --> 00:19:59,864 Speaker 1: Like I don't even know that she ever noticed that 410 00:19:59,904 --> 00:20:02,904 Speaker 1: we redid the floor. For instance. The bride thought that 411 00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:05,344 Speaker 1: we were renting the venue, you know, for the day 412 00:20:05,824 --> 00:20:08,264 Speaker 1: of the wedding, But we rented the venue for like 413 00:20:08,344 --> 00:20:10,664 Speaker 1: a week in an that we would have time to 414 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:14,184 Speaker 1: do all the things we needed to do. She didn't 415 00:20:14,224 --> 00:20:16,824 Speaker 1: know that in order to make the people fit, I 416 00:20:16,864 --> 00:20:18,864 Speaker 1: was going to need to build custom furniture. Do you 417 00:20:18,864 --> 00:20:20,744 Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, like, like, why would you 418 00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:23,304 Speaker 1: think about that? Like I knew that, and then I 419 00:20:23,464 --> 00:20:25,864 Speaker 1: her mother agreed and we paid the bill. 420 00:20:25,904 --> 00:20:28,304 Speaker 2: How many people do you have working on the inside 421 00:20:28,304 --> 00:20:28,544 Speaker 2: for you? 422 00:20:28,784 --> 00:20:32,744 Speaker 1: Every vendor, like so, every the florist, the venue owner, 423 00:20:32,944 --> 00:20:33,504 Speaker 1: like every. 424 00:20:33,384 --> 00:20:35,984 Speaker 2: Vendor, each of these places. Yeah. 425 00:20:36,024 --> 00:20:38,464 Speaker 1: So the day of the wedding comes and I, you know, 426 00:20:38,584 --> 00:20:40,824 Speaker 1: and at least an hour before they were getting there, 427 00:20:40,944 --> 00:20:42,664 Speaker 1: I was like, I have to make myself scarce, right, 428 00:20:42,744 --> 00:20:45,504 Speaker 1: And so I go and I post up like maybe 429 00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:48,064 Speaker 1: a block or two away at a restaurant, and I'm 430 00:20:48,064 --> 00:20:50,824 Speaker 1: just texting with like my staff and I was like 431 00:20:50,944 --> 00:20:54,704 Speaker 1: live live, giving orders right like as people and questions 432 00:20:54,744 --> 00:20:57,784 Speaker 1: came up, like from the moment that the mother of 433 00:20:57,784 --> 00:21:00,064 Speaker 1: the bride woke up. She was paranoid that the daughter 434 00:21:00,104 --> 00:21:02,384 Speaker 1: was going to find out, right like now it's like 435 00:21:02,664 --> 00:21:04,584 Speaker 1: she's going to find out. She's going to find out. 436 00:21:05,024 --> 00:21:08,504 Speaker 1: And I get a text from one of the people 437 00:21:08,504 --> 00:21:11,824 Speaker 1: on my staff and they were like, the mom's drank 438 00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:15,224 Speaker 1: a little bit too much and maybe hasn't eaten enough. 439 00:21:15,264 --> 00:21:17,024 Speaker 1: And I was like, all right, we'll see if you 440 00:21:17,064 --> 00:21:18,944 Speaker 1: can get see if you can get her a little 441 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,544 Speaker 1: plate of food, you know whatever, pull her to the side. 442 00:21:21,624 --> 00:21:23,104 Speaker 1: And then it was like a text. It was like 443 00:21:23,424 --> 00:21:27,344 Speaker 1: something has gone south. The mom and the bride have disappeared, 444 00:21:27,624 --> 00:21:30,064 Speaker 1: and we can see them. They were like they went 445 00:21:30,104 --> 00:21:32,384 Speaker 1: to like a back room where guests wouldn't go, and 446 00:21:33,184 --> 00:21:35,664 Speaker 1: they're clearly in it, like they're getting into it. And 447 00:21:35,704 --> 00:21:38,184 Speaker 1: I guess what ended up happening was the mother of 448 00:21:38,224 --> 00:21:43,104 Speaker 1: the bride got intoxicated and told the bride like confessed 449 00:21:43,144 --> 00:21:46,464 Speaker 1: the whole thing. Like the guilt was overwhelming her, and 450 00:21:46,544 --> 00:21:49,344 Speaker 1: so she was like, I have to tell you, you know. 451 00:21:49,504 --> 00:21:51,264 Speaker 1: She's like, do you like the way it turned out? Well, 452 00:21:51,304 --> 00:21:54,464 Speaker 1: I never fired the planner, like they actually did all 453 00:21:54,544 --> 00:22:00,064 Speaker 1: of this, like we and the bride. I don't know 454 00:22:00,064 --> 00:22:02,784 Speaker 1: what reaction she thought she was gonna get, but the 455 00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:07,784 Speaker 1: bride lost it, right, Like, I mean, she's been deceived 456 00:22:08,184 --> 00:22:12,064 Speaker 1: on her wedding day twice. And she like realizes that 457 00:22:12,144 --> 00:22:15,664 Speaker 1: the people that she thought were catering staff still worked 458 00:22:15,664 --> 00:22:20,024 Speaker 1: for me. So she's just like outraged, right, and like 459 00:22:20,104 --> 00:22:22,584 Speaker 1: tells her mother, We've got to go to family therapy. 460 00:22:23,024 --> 00:22:25,024 Speaker 1: You never can talk to her again. I never want 461 00:22:25,064 --> 00:22:27,184 Speaker 1: to see her name again. I don't want to hear 462 00:22:27,264 --> 00:22:31,344 Speaker 1: about her again. And it was like an affair exactly. 463 00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:33,064 Speaker 1: And I get a text from the mother of the 464 00:22:33,104 --> 00:22:36,984 Speaker 1: bright like this is goodbye. She knows everything, Like it's 465 00:22:37,024 --> 00:22:37,784 Speaker 1: the end. 466 00:22:38,184 --> 00:22:40,984 Speaker 2: Have they contacted you either like when the book came 467 00:22:41,024 --> 00:22:41,824 Speaker 2: out or she. 468 00:22:41,824 --> 00:22:44,784 Speaker 1: Did say congratulations I got a note that's in congratulations 469 00:22:44,824 --> 00:22:47,824 Speaker 1: on your book. She did, yes, Like but it was 470 00:22:48,024 --> 00:22:51,224 Speaker 1: very classy. She's a classy lady. She's a classy cookie lady. 471 00:22:51,784 --> 00:22:54,104 Speaker 1: I never heard from the daughter, and like, I you know, 472 00:22:54,424 --> 00:22:57,264 Speaker 1: I feel like that This probably was also a come 473 00:22:57,304 --> 00:23:00,984 Speaker 1: to Jesus time about like class and money and presentation 474 00:23:01,104 --> 00:23:03,784 Speaker 1: of self. But like, you know, I just think that 475 00:23:03,824 --> 00:23:07,264 Speaker 1: the mom was longing for somebody to like want to 476 00:23:07,304 --> 00:23:09,064 Speaker 1: throw a really good time, have a really good time 477 00:23:09,304 --> 00:23:11,024 Speaker 1: with her, having a good time for other people. 478 00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:14,784 Speaker 2: Was the wedding a success from the guest point of view? 479 00:23:14,784 --> 00:23:16,464 Speaker 2: From your point of view? Was it a good wedding? 480 00:23:16,624 --> 00:23:18,424 Speaker 1: I think it was a beautiful wedding. I think it 481 00:23:18,464 --> 00:23:21,984 Speaker 1: was a beautiful wedding, and like it was definitely a 482 00:23:22,064 --> 00:23:26,224 Speaker 1: more comfortable, more like sort of elegant affair, But it 483 00:23:26,344 --> 00:23:28,064 Speaker 1: still felt like them, you know what I mean, Like 484 00:23:28,064 --> 00:23:30,704 Speaker 1: it didn't feel like I know what the mom would 485 00:23:30,704 --> 00:23:32,864 Speaker 1: have done, and it would have been a very different party. 486 00:23:33,224 --> 00:23:36,104 Speaker 2: Okay, So besides don't go into debt. Do you have 487 00:23:36,184 --> 00:23:38,464 Speaker 2: one piece of wedding advice you want to give people? 488 00:23:39,944 --> 00:23:41,904 Speaker 1: This is like something I would have told a bridal magazine. 489 00:23:41,904 --> 00:23:44,584 Speaker 1: But color is always free, No, Like it's like like 490 00:23:44,744 --> 00:23:47,464 Speaker 1: I really like you could just you can order anything 491 00:23:47,504 --> 00:23:49,704 Speaker 1: in a color and it makes everything look much nicer 492 00:23:49,784 --> 00:23:52,744 Speaker 1: and it doesn't cost you anything. Right, Like, ask guests 493 00:23:52,744 --> 00:23:55,224 Speaker 1: to wear like one bright color. It'll look really beautiful. 494 00:23:55,784 --> 00:23:58,544 Speaker 2: This is great. Before you go, I have to ask 495 00:23:58,624 --> 00:24:00,384 Speaker 2: you what were your summer plants. 496 00:24:02,264 --> 00:24:05,584 Speaker 1: I'm I'm spending it in my friend's house upstate that 497 00:24:05,704 --> 00:24:08,664 Speaker 1: she rented while she plans a lavish wedding. So I 498 00:24:08,704 --> 00:24:11,904 Speaker 1: am Brooklyn this afternoon and going upstate. 499 00:24:12,624 --> 00:24:14,344 Speaker 2: Upstate is such a broad. 500 00:24:14,184 --> 00:24:16,144 Speaker 1: Term, like such a broad term. See that. 501 00:24:18,304 --> 00:24:21,784 Speaker 2: I think it's Hudson Valley. That's my guess. Yeah, okay, 502 00:24:22,024 --> 00:24:24,104 Speaker 2: all right, I'm getting an idea of what's going on here, 503 00:24:26,184 --> 00:24:28,864 Speaker 2: So chill gun Zalez. You wrote the Fake Poor Bride 504 00:24:29,184 --> 00:24:31,504 Speaker 2: for The Atlantic and it's the story of the week. 505 00:24:31,624 --> 00:24:34,464 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming on our show. 506 00:24:34,744 --> 00:24:36,184 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. This is a 507 00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:36,704 Speaker 1: lot of fun. 508 00:24:37,544 --> 00:24:40,344 Speaker 2: The place where I got married, which is called the 509 00:24:40,424 --> 00:24:44,424 Speaker 2: Downtown Association, is a private club in Manhattan that's been 510 00:24:44,464 --> 00:24:47,944 Speaker 2: there since eighteen eighty seven. Like dead animal heads on 511 00:24:47,984 --> 00:24:52,864 Speaker 2: the wall, Billiard's Room, Cigar humidor basically a real life 512 00:24:52,864 --> 00:24:56,664 Speaker 2: game of clue, and it came with its own wedding coordinator, 513 00:24:57,384 --> 00:25:00,904 Speaker 2: a proper tall blonde woman with a way bigger engagement 514 00:25:00,984 --> 00:25:04,544 Speaker 2: ring than Cassandra had. Usually she dealt with the bride's 515 00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:08,224 Speaker 2: mom or at least the bride, but instead she had 516 00:25:08,224 --> 00:25:12,424 Speaker 2: to deal with me, which sucked for her. At one point, 517 00:25:12,544 --> 00:25:14,584 Speaker 2: after explaining to her that I didn't want any flowers, 518 00:25:15,024 --> 00:25:17,264 Speaker 2: I came up with this idea of having people just 519 00:25:17,384 --> 00:25:19,664 Speaker 2: grab their food from the buffet and sit at any 520 00:25:19,704 --> 00:25:23,344 Speaker 2: table they wanted to do, like no escort cards. I 521 00:25:23,384 --> 00:25:26,624 Speaker 2: got halfway through this idea when the wedding lady said 522 00:25:27,224 --> 00:25:30,944 Speaker 2: that isn't done. She got really upset, and I didn't 523 00:25:30,944 --> 00:25:33,704 Speaker 2: think that was a very good reason, but she was 524 00:25:33,864 --> 00:25:36,224 Speaker 2: just not gonna let us do this for our guests, 525 00:25:36,504 --> 00:25:40,424 Speaker 2: and I'm sure she was right, Like, honestly, no one 526 00:25:40,464 --> 00:25:43,664 Speaker 2: wants to sit with cousin Lou. Sorry Lou, but you 527 00:25:43,784 --> 00:25:46,624 Speaker 2: really didn't have to show everyone what every key on 528 00:25:46,664 --> 00:25:51,464 Speaker 2: your giant key ring meant. That isn't done. 529 00:25:52,264 --> 00:25:55,464 Speaker 3: At the end of the show, what's next for Joe Stein? 530 00:25:55,624 --> 00:25:58,784 Speaker 1: Maybe he'll take a naper poke around online. 531 00:26:00,184 --> 00:26:03,904 Speaker 2: Our Show Today was produced by Kate McAuliffe and Nisha Benka. 532 00:26:04,544 --> 00:26:07,824 Speaker 2: It was edited by Lydia Jean Kott. Our engineer is 533 00:26:08,024 --> 00:26:12,104 Speaker 2: a Manda kay Went and our executive producer is Katherine 534 00:26:12,304 --> 00:26:15,224 Speaker 2: Shira dah And. Our theme song was written and performed 535 00:26:15,224 --> 00:26:18,464 Speaker 2: by Jonathan Colton. And a special thanks to my voice 536 00:26:18,464 --> 00:26:22,864 Speaker 2: coach Vicky Merrick and my consulting producer Laurence Alastin. To 537 00:26:22,904 --> 00:26:27,584 Speaker 2: find more Pushkin podcasts, listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 538 00:26:27,984 --> 00:26:31,024 Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to your podcasts. I'm Joel Stein 539 00:26:31,584 --> 00:26:36,104 Speaker 2: and this is the story of the week. So do 540 00:26:36,144 --> 00:26:37,944 Speaker 2: you regret having the wedding? 541 00:26:40,024 --> 00:26:42,704 Speaker 3: I feel relatively neutral about the fact that we had 542 00:26:42,704 --> 00:26:44,704 Speaker 3: a wedding. You know that I didn't want to. I 543 00:26:44,704 --> 00:26:46,344 Speaker 3: didn't want to be a broad I don't have that 544 00:26:46,544 --> 00:26:48,144 Speaker 3: princess bride dream. 545 00:26:48,384 --> 00:26:50,224 Speaker 2: I don't either. I didn't have that dream, but I 546 00:26:50,304 --> 00:26:53,664 Speaker 2: just it wasn't It was a beautiful wedding. 547 00:26:53,744 --> 00:26:56,184 Speaker 3: Everybody knows who the bride was that to Ajel, and 548 00:26:56,224 --> 00:26:56,704 Speaker 3: it wasn't me.