WEBVTT - Spanish as a First Language 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:04.640 So I'm here in the studio with producer and new mom. 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:09.720 Hey Maria, So Genie, you just had a baby boy, Martine. 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:13.920 Yes, and Maria we talked a ton about having kids 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:17.560 that when I was pregnant, or when I wasn't pregnant, 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:20.640 or little did we know that I was pregnant. 0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:24.520 And the next week you were like, uh, I'm pregnant. 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:28.920 Say kay. And now he's seven months and it's flown 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:30.400 by love it. 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:31.120 I love it. 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:34.400 And he's doing a lot of bad, bad, bad, bad bad. 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:38.760 So what language are you speak to him in? 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:48.559 We are speaking Spanish immersion, all Spanish all the time. 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:50.800 My son. That's what we did with Raul. It was 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:53.760 monolingual Spanish one percent all the time. 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:56.160 And did it stick totally? Are you kidding? 0:00:56.160 --> 0:00:59.560 He's multi lingual now he has a facility for language 0:00:59.840 --> 0:01:04.400 and he's not afraid of it because we've spoken well. 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:06.959 First he was monolingual Spanish, and then when his sister 0:01:07.040 --> 0:01:09.640 came and that was where it got a little complicated. 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:12.440 It was fine with him alone, just the three of 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:14.280 us speaking Spanish. 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:17.880 Does she speak now? She speaks, but it's all hard. 0:01:18.560 --> 0:01:20.880 I had this conversation a lot with my husband Ernesto. 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:24.560 He's from Peru, and he was terrified that raising our 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:26.920 son here in the US meant that he wasn't going 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:28.720 to speak perfect Spanish. 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:30.319 And then they're going to go back to the home country, 0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:32.160 and then they're going to be teased and made fun of, 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:33.600 and then they're not going to want. 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:36.160 To speak Spanish. And that is exactly what happened to 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:39.040 my brother. He was that kid who said, I don't 0:01:39.040 --> 0:01:45.440 want to speak Spanish. My parents are from the Dominican Republic. 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:48.680 For the most part, we spoke Spanish at home growing up, 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:52.280 as you can hear in these adorable home recordings from 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:59.000 my childhood practice here. But my brother and I pretty 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:02.120 much always speaking English and have since we were kids. 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:10.560 We lived in small towns between Georgia and Alabama, so 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:13.080 it wasn't like there was other kids or even adults 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:15.160 for him to speak Spanish too. In the early nineties. 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:26.120 But Maria, like your son, I learned Spanish first. Wow. 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:27.080 That is so cute. 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:28.960 That's you, that's little Genie. 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:29.880 Wow. 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:35.240 My mom used to sing to me in Spanish, Ye God, 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:42.120 and she used to read books in Spanish. So I 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:45.640 speak Spanish at home with Ernesto and little Marting, but 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:48.079 now that I'm a parent myself, it kind of got 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:51.000 me to thinking about the decisions that my own parents 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:53.560 made in terms of language for me and my younger brother. 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:56.760 So I wanted to figure out why was it that 0:02:56.919 --> 0:02:59.680 I learned Spanish at home and my brother didn't. 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:08.120 From Futuro Media and PRX, It's Latino USA by Maria 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:16.160 Rosa and Today Espanol Spanish as a First Language, a 0:03:16.280 --> 0:03:20.520 story about the decisions Latino parents make, like me, when 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:24.520 we decide to raise our children speaking Spanish. We first 0:03:24.600 --> 0:03:28.120 aired this show in twenty eighteen, but it's as relevant 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:32.200 today as it was then. So let's revisit our conversation 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:34.760 about raising kids bilingually now. 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:38.640 So my name is Godless Montago. Yeah, I like long 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:41.840 walks on the beach sunsets. 0:03:42.240 --> 0:03:45.840 That is my brother, or as I like to call him, Nerdo. 0:03:46.880 --> 0:03:50.520 He is literally a rocket scientist. Oh my god. 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:50.760 What. 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:54.440 I'm a mechanical engineering professor at the University of South Alabama. 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:58.080 I got my bachelor's, master's and PhD in aerospace engineering 0:03:58.080 --> 0:03:59.960 at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta. 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:01.280 He's literally a genius. 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:05.640 I have a brother like that doesn't speak perfect Spanish, 0:04:05.640 --> 0:04:09.080 by the way, and neither does Carlos. 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:12.200 There were two reasons why I didn't want to speak Spanish. One, 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:15.040 it was hard for me. I didn't have the necessary 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:17.680 vocabulary to talk to my parents in a way that 0:04:17.760 --> 0:04:20.560 I felt I could explain my ideas correctly. Since it 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:22.400 wasn't my first language, it was tough for me to 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:24.440 generate sentences to reply back. 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:27.200 So I get it right. We all feel embarrassment when 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:29.960 we're uncomfortable with a language, but for my brother it 0:04:30.000 --> 0:04:30.839 seemed to go deeper. 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:32.960 You don't want people to think that you're stupid and 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:35.000 laugh at you. You know, do you sit there and 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:37.919 you just say, why bother speaking in Spanish when we 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:39.960 all speak englishless is speaking English and that I'll be 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:40.560 much easier. 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:47.840 We both lived in the same house, we both grew 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:51.760 up with the same parents. I speak Spanish since I 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:55.560 was a baby and Carlos didn't. So how does that work? 0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:58.839 How does that happen? I wanted to really understand and 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:01.039 get inside my brother's head, figure out what it is 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:03.320 that kept him from wanting to be kind of like 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:06.320 a part of that culture and understanding the language. So 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:09.360 I asked him what he thought the difference was between 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:10.160 the two of us. 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:12.520 I think one of the things, Genie was the age gap. 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:15.280 You and I are six years apart, I think over 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:17.599 six and a half. Yeah, And so by the time 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:21.080 I came into the picture, didn't the family already decide 0:05:21.120 --> 0:05:23.880 to speak English at home? As far as I understand, 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:26.560 before I was born, you three spoke into Spanish all 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:29.799 the time, and then when I was older, the house 0:05:29.839 --> 0:05:30.839 became an English thing. 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.400 I mean, I think that's that's a question for Mummy 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:44.719 and puppy. Mammy two Milmo Cambrangealis Okay, Okay. I talked 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:47.840 to Carlos last week. Yes, I asked my mom if 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:50.360 there was a conscious decision to switch to English when 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:52.600 my brother was little. I didn't really remember that being 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:53.960 an actual decision. 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:59.240 We did change to English, but the situation happened that 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:03.960 the preschool or kindergarten teacher when he was learning English, 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:07.960 she said that he was having a harder times. So 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:12.440 the situation wasn't that it was our decision. The decision 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:14.400 was kind of may florous. 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:17.040 When Carlos was born, we lived in a tiny town 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:21.080 in Alabama. We were the only Latino family there, and 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:24.040 after that we moved to a suburb of Atlanta. It 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:27.279 was not the international metropolis it is today. So the 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:30.920 teacher explicitly said to you, don't speak Spanish to him 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:32.680 at home because he's getting confused. 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:36.200 She didn't say Spanish per se, she said, don't speak 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:37.559 two languages at home. 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:40.039 And what did you think about that? 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:40.320 Dat? 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:41.159 Did that make you feel? 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:46.279 Well? I was caring more about Carlos than anything else. 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:52.000 In my time. You respect authority, and a teacher was authority. 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:56.359 So if the authority said you cannot do this, we 0:06:56.600 --> 0:06:57.279 followed through. 0:06:57.839 --> 0:06:59.400 So for her to. 0:06:59.440 --> 0:07:02.640 Tell me that he was having a hard time, he 0:07:02.839 --> 0:07:05.120 just told me, I'm not going to make lie harder 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:09.680 for him. 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:10.160 Wow. 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:13.720 So the teacher basically said, you're setting your kid back 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:17.400 by raising him bilingually, which you know factually we know 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:20.000 now is not true. I mean right, this has totally 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:21.480 been disproven correct. 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:23.320 And I spoke to an expert about this. 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:27.160 My name is Lisa Badour. I'm a professor in Communication, 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:30.679 scientist and disorders at the University of Texas at Austin. 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:33.760 I asked Lisa if she'd heard of cases like my brothers. 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:36.600 You know, where a teacher tells the parent it's just 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:38.040 better to speak one language. 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:41.520 I think that it's unfortunately a long term common practice 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:46.280 that people do suggest to families that they speak only 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:48.840 one language, and that's usually English, to their children, to 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:50.560 prevent them from becoming confused. 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.440 It happens quite a bit, right, and it's not even 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:56.480 something that's in the past, which is what I originally thought. 0:07:57.080 --> 0:07:59.040 The subject actually came up the other day in this 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:02.280 Facebook mom group that I'm part of. One mom asked 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:05.520 a question about her children being delayed and speaking. She 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:07.400 was kind of wondering if it was because they were 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:10.400 hearing multiple languages and hearing English with an accent. 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:14.320 But Lisa says, there's no real evidence that there's an 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:17.640 increased risk for having language learning difficulties just because you're 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:20.760 hearing and using two languages. We know that hearing and 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:24.760 using two languages offers social and cognitive advantages. 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:28.240 So being bilingual is not related to learning difficulties. The 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:29.200 teacher was wrong. 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:34.600 I think it was a frame of mind of the area. 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:40.440 They were not exposed to seeing other people learning other languages, 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:48.000 seeing other cultures. There was barely no immigrants in Alphaeda. 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:50.920 So there weren't a lot of Spanish speakers in Alpharetta, 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:54.360 but our parents would send us to the Dominican Republic 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:57.400 for six weeks at a time to be with our grandmother, like, 0:08:57.520 --> 0:08:59.839 go be with your family and speak Spanish. 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:02.120 Were you like, we're going to the domain Obama's or 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:03.320 was it like, oh my god, we're gonna have to 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:04.599 speak Spanish. 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:06.840 For me, it was like, oh, I get to go 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:09.400 hang out with my cousins and be with family and stuff, 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:12.120 and you know, the language was the language and you 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:14.760 just spoken. But for him, I guess it was a 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:15.840 little scarier. 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:22.560 I always told Axl your causin to speak to him 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:28.000 in Spanish. But my sister wanted to take advantage of 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:32.160 Carlos for Axel to learn English, and of course it 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:35.240 was easier for Carlos to speak English, so then he 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:39.319 just turned into English. So you know, for every angle 0:09:40.040 --> 0:09:42.920 if we went home, they were trying to use him 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:46.760 for practicing, and then if he came here, we were 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:51.120 in areas where Spanish wasn't that frequently spoken. 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:54.920 I feel your mom's pain. It is a challenge for 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:58.760 us because the world has become smaller, and frankly, English 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:02.160 is a very dumb language in the world exactly. 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:05.199 But then there's a part of speaking Spanish. That's kind 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:08.840 of cultural right. Growing up for me, something just clicked. 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:13.520 I started watching telenovelas, I read people in nefanol, and 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:16.960 I got really into Latin music. But my brother was 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:17.640 so different. 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:20.079 I mean, I was a metal head in high school 0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:22.000 and listened to a bunch of you know, fresh metal 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:23.240 and metallica and all that. 0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:31.040 Maria. It's kind of weird because it sounds like what 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:34.319 he's saying is that a thrash metal metallic, a loving 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:40.280 person cannot be Latino, but metal is huge in Latin America. 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:43.720 Side note, my husband, who was born and raised in Peru, 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:47.040 is actually a big metal fan. But that's another story. 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:52.719 Aside from being like, you know, a metal head, skateboarding teenager, 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:55.600 was there anything else that made you be like, I 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:56.920 want nothing to do with this culture. 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:00.000 Oh that was probably just I was a lazy teenager. 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:02.880 Probably probably I probably just didn't care. I just wanted 0:11:02.880 --> 0:11:05.199 to hang out with my friends. I mean, Bonnie when 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:06.920 she met me in college, didn't even know that I 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:09.720 spoke Spanish because I didn't act like it. I don't know, 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:10.760 did you see something different? 0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:11.560 No? 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:14.920 When we met it was I mean, I was just 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:18.040 like I was dating any other American guy, and then 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:20.560 it hid me when I walked into your parents' house 0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:22.800 and there was a lot of music playing and your 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:26.480 parents were yelling in Spanish, and I was like, oh, oh, 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:27.679 I mean, I didn't even know. 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:31.400 That's Bonnie, who is not Latina. She's white and grew 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:34.319 up in Florida. She took some Spanish classes in high 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:37.400 school but doesn't really speak. They've been married for ten 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:40.600 years and have two beautiful kids, and they're living in 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:43.760 South Alabama. So I asked my brother, you know, does 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:46.480 he have any regrets about not speaking Spanish more when 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:47.280 we were growing up? 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:49.280 What I wish something would be different? 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:50.040 I don't think so. 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:53.280 I mean, Mommy and Boppy moved to the United States 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:55.760 to you know, to give us a better life, and 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:58.839 that's that's where we grew up. And people speak English here. 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.720 You know, I'm married somebody who only speaks English, and 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:03.360 so I think that's just kind of how it is. 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:05.440 I mean, at the end of the day, it's just 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:08.800 you're just trying to convey an idea. That's what language 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:11.800 is for, right, and so why would you purposely make 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:12.880 it harder for yourself? 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:17.880 From my brother's perspective. It's kind of like English is easier, 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:20.160 So why am I going to make my life harder 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.800 by trying to speak Spanish? If I can communicate and 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:27.800 I can convey my ideas in English, there's no incentive 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:29.520 to speak Spanish. 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:33.439 Well, it seems like he just doesn't put being Latino 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:36.320 Spanish speaker. It seems like that is not like his 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:40.120 top three most important things in terms of his how 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:41.600 he identifies and sees his. 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:45.200 Life, right. I mean, he might not have ever identified 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:48.480 really with his Latino side, but now he's older and 0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:51.560 things change. Both of us have kids and we have 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:54.160 to decide how we're going to raise them. I know 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:56.960 what my stances on passing on my language and my 0:12:57.040 --> 0:13:00.160 heritage to my son, but I don't really know what's 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:03.240 in Carlos's head or how he wants to raise his family. 0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:06.079 How old are the kids? Elena is four and Louis 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:09.640 is almost two. Okay, wait a second, you noticed, didn't wait? 0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:15.359 Of course? Well that's the giveaway. Elena and Louis, Louis Carlos. 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.600 Okay, so I get a I have a hint, I 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:22.600 have an idea of what happens. Do you know, dun 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:33.560 dun dum coming up on Latino USA. Does Carlos speak 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:50.520 Spanish to his kids? Stay with us? All right, we're 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:53.520 back and I'm here in the studio with producer Gini Montalgo. 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:55.120 Hey Maria, all right, so Giny. 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:59.040 Before the break, we were talking about bilingualism and your 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:03.200 brother and what his plans are for his own kids. 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:06.960 I mentioned earlier that Carlos didn't really like speaking Spanish 0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:09.720 when he was a kid, but he actually does speak 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:12.720 it now. In seventh grade, you had the option to 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:16.000 take a language, and he chose Spanish and continued on 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:19.320 into ap Spanish in high school. He speaks it with 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:22.280 an accent, but he's stuck with it and eventually he learned. 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:24.920 But before I tell you what my brother decided to 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:28.440 do with his kids, let's talk to Lisa Bador again, 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:31.120 our expert, and have her unpack some of the things 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.640 that go into teaching your child your native language. 0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:36.800 I think people think that bilingualism will just happen, and 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:41.440 really it takes that kind of ongoing effort to value 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:45.840 and you keep using your Spanish day after day so 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:48.160 that the child understands that it's important. 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:51.760 I asked her about how you can get your kid 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:54.480 to become bilingual when you have one parent who just 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.600 speaks English and another parent that speaks English and. 0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:00.560 Spanish, in many cases, it would be a matter of 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:04.040 setting up more structured situations so that there's more opportunities 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.720 to hear and use those languages. You won't be able 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:10.560 to count as much on the naturalistic environment to provide 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:12.920 enough input for the child to really get up and 0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:14.560 running with the first language. 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:19.160 Okay, so naturalistic environment could be For instance, like when 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.520 I was born, my parents had just arrived to the 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:24.520 US a year before that to study. They had tons 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:28.600 of international friends, and little Genie arrives to two parents 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:32.040 who speak Spanish and are surrounded by Spanish speaking friends. 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:36.280 That is a naturalistic environment that in my case made 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:40.000 it fairly easy to learn Spanish from day one. But 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:42.880 when you have a home where there's only one parent 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:44.000 who speaks. 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:47.160 It will probably require yet more effort on that parent's 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:48.080 part is filingual. 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:50.800 Yeah, because I wonder at one point if the child 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:53.840 then realizes, Okay, mom and dad are speaking in English, 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:56.160 why am I bothering with this other language? 0:15:56.400 --> 0:15:56.480 Uh? 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.640 Huh, It does happen, I think, But if you persist, 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:05.680 you can get there. 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:09.160 So it's not impossible, Maria, it just takes work. 0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:13.520 Because my husband is more dominant in Spanish, it was 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:16.000 much easier for us to kind of be in the 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:18.880 Spanish realm. But we never forced our kids. We never 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:21.040 forced them to answer us in Spanish. And I got 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.160 to tell you, there were times when I was like, 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:25.480 that was a mistake. We should have been forcing them. 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:28.560 I heard stories of some families where if you didn't 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:35.880 speak Spanish, you wouldn't get fed if you didn't speak Spanish, No, no, no, steed, oh, 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:39.000 you had to speak Spanish. And in our house, Hitman 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:40.960 would answer in Spanish all the time. And then I'd 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:42.280 be lazy to be honest with you. 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:46.320 It does take effort. And Maria, you know who's making 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:50.760 an effort. Oh your brother, Oh my brother, Oh my God, 0:16:51.040 --> 0:16:51.800 making an effort. 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:56.640 Yeah, oh. 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:01.360 Huh, well so so, But Bunny, did you guys sit 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:03.200 down and make a conscious decision that you wanted the 0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:04.560 kids to speak Spanish. 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:09.920 I feel like my inability to communicate with Carlos's extended 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:13.879 family is something that I really don't like, and I 0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:16.800 don't want the kids to have to experience that. And 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:19.960 I think that teaching them Spanish from a very young age. 0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:24.200 It just seemed like any help we could give them, would, 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.400 you know, give them the courage to sort of embrace 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:30.640 what is half of their culture and a language that's 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:31.600 very essential to it. 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:34.960 Well, so, Carlos, what happens when they get to an 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:37.800 age and they're like, well, buppy, you didn't want to 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:40.119 speak Spanish growing up, so why do I have to? 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:42.239 You know, it's kind of like eating broccoli. I mean, 0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:44.080 if I don't eat broccoli, they won't do it either. 0:17:44.200 --> 0:17:46.399 So there's not really much I can say there. I 0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:48.520 think at the end of the day, I can make 0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:51.439 a conscious decision to talk in Spanish to them, and 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:53.240 so if they want to communicate with me, they're going 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:54.240 to have to understand it. 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:59.000 Whoa whoa Very different from Carlos in part one. 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:02.760 Yes, Carlo's Metallica. I'm going out on my skateboard and 0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:04.720 don't talk to me about Spanish. 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:09.560 Whoa Yeah? And Elena's favorite song is actually by Shiquita, 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:13.520 which is super cute. So as the kids grow, the 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:17.240 pediatrician is constantly monitoring their language development. One of the 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:21.200 things that Carlo's talked to her about was bilingual children and. 0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:23.240 The one thing that they said is that the reason 0:18:23.240 --> 0:18:26.280 why Elena understands me speaking Spanish, it's because I only 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:28.960 speak Spanish to her. The reason why she doesn't talk 0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:31.080 back to me in Spanish is because I give her 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:34.520 the opportunity to speak in English. Apparently, if I want 0:18:34.520 --> 0:18:36.760 to force Elena to speak in Spanish, I have to 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:40.040 pretend I don't understand English. So one of these days 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:42.040 I feel like maybe I'll snap and just say, you 0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:45.640 know what, Elena do medenus cabala and enespanol sola mante 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:49.000 And if she wants to talk to her dad, she's 0:18:49.000 --> 0:18:51.359 got to talk in Spanish. Between all of the tantrums 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:53.560 and everything else that goes on. That's a really hard fight. 0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:56.159 I haven't been a parent for that long, but I 0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:58.440 get that a lot of it is picking your battles, 0:18:59.240 --> 0:19:01.480 kind of like, do I want to go there? My 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:04.800 kid is throwing a tantrum? Do I really want to 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:06.920 make them speak Spanish to me right now? But that's 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:07.200 the thing. 0:19:07.359 --> 0:19:10.440 Godless will have to make that decision, probably really soon 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.080 before Lena gets much older, and then it's just going 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:15.600 to have to be written in stone. And he's the 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:17.560 one who's going to have to kind of live with 0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:18.240 that decision. 0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:23.920 So I am still curious. What was the light bulb 0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:27.280 moment for my brother, Like what changed for him? Why 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:30.080 all of a sudden, now it's okay to pass on 0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:32.760 your culture, when as a kid he was like, no, 0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:33.239 thank you. 0:19:33.600 --> 0:19:37.359 What changed really was the fact that when I got older. 0:19:37.600 --> 0:19:39.639 I mean, you start to think about your heritage, and 0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:42.240 you know, you start listening to Spanish music on the radio, 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:44.960 and you start playing this kind of music for your kids, 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:47.080 and you want to give that heritage to your children. 0:19:47.119 --> 0:19:49.320 So I kind of just said, you know, I can't 0:19:49.359 --> 0:19:51.600 just keep being embarrassed and not worrying about it. So 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:54.040 I just said, I'm just gonna, you know, teach this 0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:57.040 language to my kids, and your world opens up. I mean, 0:19:57.040 --> 0:19:59.520 now if you can speak Spanish, there's so many countries 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:02.000 you can travel, there's so many books that you can read, 0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:05.280 there's so many songs that you can sing. You can 0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:07.240 just experience the world completely different. 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:09.639 I mean, do you recognize that you kind of like 0:20:09.720 --> 0:20:12.800 pushed it away, Like why now I want. 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:15.480 My kids to connect to that at least in some way, 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:17.719 and maybe they'll do the same thing as me. I mean, 0:20:17.760 --> 0:20:20.360 they're growing up in South Alabama. So I mean, they'll 0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:22.199 probably just go to a bunch of crawfish boils and 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:22.920 get a big truck. 0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:29.240 But you can go to a lot of crawfish boils 0:20:29.880 --> 0:20:34.040 and own a truck and still speak Spanish, right. 0:20:34.080 --> 0:20:36.960 You can talk about the truck in Spanish. Insightful. 0:20:41.119 --> 0:20:43.280 I think it's because I have a family now. Before 0:20:43.359 --> 0:20:45.040 I think it was just about me. But now when 0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:46.760 you have a family, it's not about you anymore. 0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:52.640 When I think about it, Maria, it's about fear. Right. 0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:56.119 As parents, we're terrified that our children aren't going to 0:20:56.160 --> 0:21:00.000 speak perfect Spanish, And as the child, you're terrified you're 0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:02.480 going to be made fun of for not speaking it well. 0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:05.560