Speaker 1: Can I ask you a question? Yes, out of the contestants,
Speaker 1: who were you the biggest fan of before hosting.
Speaker 2: This Tasha and now after Tashash show?
Speaker 3: What what what what? I'm what the culture is feeling?
Speaker 3: Woo Kendrick coming with that smoke. Huhuh so good to
Speaker 3: show team Kendrick. I'm what the culture is feeling. I
Speaker 3: just like him. He says that, you know, we all
Speaker 3: are descendants from a single tribe in Africa, so don't
Speaker 3: even say that I'm not black enough, you know. And
Speaker 3: then Kendrick, He's accusing Drake of pedophilia. I mean, I
Speaker 3: don't know what's going on every but he is being
Speaker 3: accused of being a pedophile lately. Jimmy Kimmel got it
Speaker 3: all Democrats. It's one of those things where it's like,
Speaker 3: is this always been the way it has been? But
Speaker 3: like now I have children, so I'm just hyper aware
Speaker 3: that there's just pedophiles everywhere. Or is it like when
Speaker 3: you break up with a girl and you think every
Speaker 3: song is is just you know, it's just cutting a
Speaker 3: little different. I don't know, but apparently I'm just surrounded
Speaker 3: by pedophiles. Here's the thing people always say, you know, like, oh,
Speaker 3: you should be a part of the roast. When they
Speaker 3: do roasts, I'd much rather watch a rat battle because
Speaker 3: rat battles there's consequences, you know. It's it's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: we're I'm gonna take a shot. Literally. Did you watch
Speaker 3: the roast, Eddie?
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 3: I watched it the whole thing, watched.
Speaker 1: I think I might have missed the very beginning.
Speaker 3: Haven't gone back to check it out. It's long, it
Speaker 3: is long. Did they do any jokes about Kevin Hart's height? Yes,
Speaker 3: that's the problem with the roast. They're just mean. People's
Speaker 3: feelings get hurt. If I was off there, I would
Speaker 3: try as hard as I could to cry, just see
Speaker 3: if maybe they'd stop. The people have always asked if
Speaker 3: I will be on the roast, and I've to be honest.
Speaker 3: I saw Jeff Ross the week before the roast, and
Speaker 3: he encouraged me. He said I should do one. He
Speaker 3: looks like he was in that Dune sequel. He does
Speaker 3: you know what I'm talking about? Maybe I'll hold out.
Speaker 3: You know who I want to roast? Seinfeld Man? Oh Man.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't that be a fun roast? Seinfeld And here's how
Speaker 3: I would want this to go. I would want to
Speaker 3: be the host of this. I would want to be
Speaker 3: the host of the Jerry Seinfeld Roast, And then I'd
Speaker 3: want no comics to show up, and I'd want no
Speaker 3: audience to show up. And it's just two hours of
Speaker 3: me looking at Jerry gone, Eh, this speaks volumes, doesn't
Speaker 3: It turns out you're you're not as loved by your
Speaker 3: peers as you once thought. Just so much lately with
Speaker 3: him just being up in arms about everything. You can't
Speaker 3: do this anymore. What are you talking? It's like me complaining.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, the kids today? Then they're viral videos. They're
Speaker 3: just not as good as when I used to make
Speaker 3: jokes about viral videos in my heyday. A viral video,
Speaker 3: you know, you to have somebody, a disabled person fall
Speaker 3: down a flight of stairs and we just have a
Speaker 3: good laugh. You see how dumb that sounds. For God,
Speaker 3: it's made is living into observations. Fuck yeah, just look
Speaker 3: in the mirror for a second. Oh I don't want
Speaker 3: to I don't want to become this person. He's been
Speaker 3: going after everyone. He's been going after comedians with podcasts.
Speaker 3: You're not that interesting, I get. I couldn't agree with
Speaker 3: you more, Grandpa, I don't think I'm interesting. This isn't
Speaker 3: what I wanted to do with my life. What I
Speaker 3: wanted to do was get on a reality show. That
Speaker 3: was my goal. That's why I got into show business
Speaker 3: to someday get on a reality show. And last year,
Speaker 3: when Amazon came calling and offered me a chance to
Speaker 3: live out my dream, I jumped at it. Then I
Speaker 3: found out that they didn't want me on the show.
Speaker 3: They wanted me to host it. I was a little
Speaker 3: let down, but at least I was given an opportunity
Speaker 3: to meet my TV idols. Enjoy. Pasha, my guest today,
Speaker 3: has appeared very briefly on The Bachelor, Dancing with the Stars,
Speaker 3: and Love on the Spectrum. You can see him now
Speaker 3: on The Goat on Prime, hosted by Little Old Me.
Speaker 3: Please Welcome Grocery Store Joe Spectrum. It's a great show.
Speaker 3: I just started watching it. Okay, so you weren't on
Speaker 3: that show. No, gar research is garbage. Yeah, that's my fault,
Speaker 3: all right. Do you believe in ghosts?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Okay, No ever thought about changing your name to instacart Joe.
Speaker 1: I honestly think I would have got more Instagram followers
Speaker 1: if I if my name would have been grocery store Joe.
Speaker 1: But my last name's hardest spell and pronounce. You probably
Speaker 1: can't even do it.
Speaker 3: Huh huh. But did you think I always said Instagram
Speaker 3: versus Instacart.
Speaker 1: Uh, that's where my mind went. Yeah, that is where
Speaker 1: my mind went.
Speaker 3: I was just like, because instacrt is just a little
Speaker 3: more updated.
Speaker 1: Is instacart still around?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Okay, you go to the grocery store.
Speaker 1: Serena orders off of Amazon. Right, so I'm plugging. I
Speaker 1: just plugged the.
Speaker 3: Show Team Team Prime. Where'd you grow up?
Speaker 1: I grew up in a town called Melos Park in Chicago.
Speaker 3: You like Chicago?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I like it where dummies put pickles on hot dogs
Speaker 3: and call asagnya pizza.
Speaker 1: I don't like deep dish pizza.
Speaker 3: No one does.
Speaker 1: And I take the pickle off my hot dog.
Speaker 3: What do you do with the pickle? I take a
Speaker 3: bite of it. Did you major in groceries at college?
Speaker 1: I actually didn't go to college.
Speaker 3: You didn't go to college? Not a day.
Speaker 1: No, I barely graduated high school. I got to school.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got through it. I got through it. You
Speaker 3: found high school tricky.
Speaker 1: I had the option not to go to college after
Speaker 1: we all.
Speaker 3: Have the option, and I took that option.
Speaker 1: I loved it.
Speaker 3: We're in trouble of the country. In your opinion, what
Speaker 3: is the best grocery store? And don't just say Whole
Speaker 3: Foods because Amazon owns them and they're the ones that
Speaker 3: made the goat available on Prime. I shop at Whole Foods,
Speaker 3: so yea, yeah, Whole food is not my favorite. Air One.
Speaker 1: I bought a thirty dollars bottle of water there because
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe it was thirty dollars.
Speaker 3: Good for you.
Speaker 1: It tasted the same, but it was out of a
Speaker 1: wall Inake, Washington.
Speaker 3: I respect. I respect that you saw that it was
Speaker 3: thirty dollars, said I have to own this water.
Speaker 1: Air One's great, it's expensive.
Speaker 3: But it's just the girls that are in that store.
Speaker 3: It's just ridiculous. Every time I walk in there, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: holy cow, arawon is it's And then I like then
Speaker 3: I like look down, I'm like, oh, there's my little wife.
Speaker 3: Come on, honey, how small is your wife? She's tiny?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 3: When did you start selling Marinara sauce.
Speaker 1: Two thy and twenty because it was during.
Speaker 3: COVID what's it called. What's it called Sundays with Joe?
Speaker 3: All right, pop quiz, hot shot? How much sodium is
Speaker 3: in one serving of your sweet Marinara sauce?
Speaker 1: What is it measured in?
Speaker 3: All right, let's just go percentage of daily nutritional value?
Speaker 3: Thirty twenty seven percent? Okay, all right, yeah, all right.
Speaker 3: People may not know your story. You were on the Bachelor,
Speaker 3: you were you were a night one loser. Were you
Speaker 3: upset with yourself? You're like, oh fuck, I made myself
Speaker 3: look stupid? Or no, well, is the Bachelorette whatever? Okay,
Speaker 3: you're on the Bachelorette. You're on there night one and
Speaker 3: she kicks you out? Who was a girl? Back of?
Speaker 3: It was upsetting. It was upsetting.
Speaker 1: I felt embarrassed to go on in the first place,
Speaker 1: just because I thought I was like too cool, huh,
Speaker 1: And then to be one of the guys that didn't
Speaker 1: receive a rows felt pretty pathetic.
Speaker 3: Did you talk to her that night? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But I couldn't really form a sentence because I was
Speaker 1: really nervous. Like you see, you've seen me really great
Speaker 1: on camera, like I'm funny and I'm charismatic, but that
Speaker 1: didn't really come across that didn't come across Night one.
Speaker 3: People always but I didn't get any time. Why wouldn't
Speaker 3: you just force yourself. You're on this show, like I'm
Speaker 3: going to go right now and talk to this person.
Speaker 3: How do they keep some people from actually talking to them?
Speaker 1: They just say it's not your turn, and then most
Speaker 1: people listen. But I I had the first conversation kiss no.
Speaker 3: And then how long from when that night happened to
Speaker 3: when the episode aired? How long of a gap is that?
Speaker 1: That was like a I want to say, two months.
Speaker 1: And then the show aired and I thought I was
Speaker 1: gonna look terrible, and I looked incredible, and then I
Speaker 1: trended on Twitter. It was it was it was basically
Speaker 1: national news.
Speaker 3: See now, I have a rule that I don't have
Speaker 3: celebrities on my show.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm shocked them here.
Speaker 3: I don't consider you a celebrity. You get famous for
Speaker 3: two minutes of airtime and you have this normal life,
Speaker 3: but now you don't have the finances to like shelter
Speaker 3: yourself from all the nonsense it's about to come your way?
Speaker 3: How is that?
Speaker 1: That's why I went on the Goat, and that's why
Speaker 1: I own bitcoin.
Speaker 4: True.
Speaker 3: Well, let's talk about though, it isn't it weird to
Speaker 3: I mean, because it's weird to be like, all of
Speaker 3: a sudden, now you're famous. But it's like if I'm famous,
Speaker 3: I get to go to my house in a neighborhood
Speaker 3: that nobody lives in. I close the wall to the gate.
Speaker 1: Well, something that I learned is attention is better than money.
Speaker 3: Oh it's the opposite. Yeah, but money is great. You
Speaker 3: don't want any attention.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you know you don't make any money,
Speaker 1: and then you then they ask you to do other
Speaker 1: reality shows.
Speaker 3: How much money did you make on your actual appearance
Speaker 3: of the batchelor Arette that one single episode?
Speaker 1: Nothing? You don't get paid, Yeah, you don't.
Speaker 3: There's unions. You have to get some money.
Speaker 1: You don't get paid. Bullshit, I'm not lying.
Speaker 3: You got zero dollars zero.
Speaker 1: I thought you get you get paid to do Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise, which was another shot.
Speaker 3: But you get paid to be the bachelorette of the Bachelor.
Speaker 3: They get paid, but you don't get paid to be
Speaker 3: a Contestants don't get paid for being on a show.
Speaker 1: And I'm such a fucking idiot. I went to tom
Speaker 1: I went to Gucci and bought a suit, okay, and
Speaker 1: then the suit, the suit didn't fit me right, and
Speaker 1: I freaked out the day before. So then I went
Speaker 1: to tom Ford and bought a suit and I basically
Speaker 1: spent like nine thousand dollars in suits so much.
Speaker 3: Okay, So he did that. Then a year later, you
Speaker 3: did The Bachelor in Paradise. Oh, then you were into
Speaker 3: that that what's her name? And that didn't work out
Speaker 3: with you, but you dated her forbid? Or do you
Speaker 3: guys get engaged?
Speaker 1: Who are we the first person one I've been on
Speaker 1: plenty of seasons?
Speaker 3: Did you get engaged?
Speaker 1: No? We just we dated.
Speaker 3: But she was a twin and she was into fucking
Speaker 3: dead animals.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Taxi Durmy.
Speaker 3: That's there's a few red flags. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 3: When you watch those shows, because your body is not great,
Speaker 3: what do you mean, like you're like a normal dude.
Speaker 3: But those all those guys, are you intimidated? They're all
Speaker 3: so jacked.
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like I actually have a
Speaker 1: nice body.
Speaker 3: Your body's gotten better.
Speaker 1: You don't think that doesn't look good on on the
Speaker 1: on the goat?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no, Now, that's what I'm saying. I'm
Speaker 3: saying probably from from from the first time you're on
Speaker 3: reality television until now your body's probably I like to I.
Speaker 1: Enjoy food, so I don't like I'll eat I like
Speaker 1: to eat a cheeseburger and I like pizza.
Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, I'm just don't. I'm not. You don't be
Speaker 3: self conscious like you're talking to somebody that's got an
Speaker 3: awful body. But those guys are all so jacked. Yeah
Speaker 3: they care, Yeah, they really care.
Speaker 1: Like when we're when you're in Paradise, a lot of
Speaker 1: guys don't even drink beer because it's got carbs. Not
Speaker 1: me though, really, Yeah, what a waste of a trip.
Speaker 3: Yeah, why does everybody uh clamor for a date card?
Speaker 3: I would just be like, if I'm interested in a
Speaker 3: girl that's there, I just fuck want to hang out
Speaker 3: on the beach all day and try to make out.
Speaker 3: That's what I did, right. Why do people care so
Speaker 3: much about it going on the fucking date because they
Speaker 3: want your time? Right, That's all it is. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: get it. And people are always like, oh, how I've
Speaker 3: made this joke before where people get like, how could
Speaker 3: you actually find somebody that you really love? And that
Speaker 3: to me is absurd because put me in any room
Speaker 3: you can find eventually, I'm gonna fall in love with
Speaker 3: somebody in that room. I agree, that's just how it
Speaker 3: just how it works. So then you do the show
Speaker 3: again and you fall in love a second time with
Speaker 3: the girl, and now you're happily married. Yes, end and
Speaker 3: she and she's what is twenty two years younger than you?
Speaker 3: She is?
Speaker 1: It's a it's a ten to eleven year difference.
Speaker 3: My wife's younger than in that gap at times.
Speaker 1: At times it's ten years and at other times it's
Speaker 1: eleven year different.
Speaker 3: Mine's twelve and someone's thirteen. I think our gap, let
Speaker 3: me tell you this always bothers me. Do people give
Speaker 3: you any grief for marrying somebody so young? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Sometimes, And I agree with that. I think we're I
Speaker 1: think we're emotionally and you know, we're on the same level.
Speaker 3: Why always think it's funy when people stay like like
Speaker 3: if a guy it's usually a guy dating a younger girl,
Speaker 3: and they're like, oh my, what do you have in common?
Speaker 3: What can you talk to a twenty two year old about?
Speaker 3: I'm like, what kind of conversations are you having? Because
Speaker 3: I can fucking have the same conversation with a twenty
Speaker 3: two year old that I can my.
Speaker 1: Father like, I agree one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: Then you did Dance with the Stars too, Oh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was in between.
Speaker 3: Did you like that? Did you get paid a lot
Speaker 3: for that?
Speaker 1: You got paid for that? Yeah, that was a nice
Speaker 1: paid six.
Speaker 3: Figures, yeah, mid six figures. That's five hundred down.
Speaker 1: Then no, no.
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter how long you stay on for those shows,
Speaker 3: you get paid more.
Speaker 1: Yes, so you get an upfront and then weekly. The
Speaker 1: longer you stay, the more you make. And I admit it.
Speaker 1: To the semifinals.
Speaker 3: What place did you get all? Fourth or fifth? Do
Speaker 3: you enjoy dancing? I hated it because I know, like
Speaker 3: everything that I know about you and watching you do
Speaker 3: physical things is it's just it's bad.
Speaker 1: No, it's not.
Speaker 3: Your balance is poor.
Speaker 1: My balance wasn't poor that day. It was my shoes.
Speaker 3: I didn't have shoes fucking everything. He said, Like, it's
Speaker 3: not true, your shoes aren't. Some people have good balance
Speaker 3: and some people don't.
Speaker 1: I have average balance.
Speaker 3: No, you don't bad balance. Would you ever do dancing
Speaker 3: with the stars, I've done it. No, you have well
Speaker 3: at home. I just you just dance every night. You
Speaker 3: dance with my wife. I'm like, enjoy this, You're dancing
Speaker 3: with the stars. I like that. No, I would never
Speaker 3: do that show. I would never do that show. Ever,
Speaker 3: there's a lot of shows that I wouldn't do. Would
Speaker 3: you do? Uh? What shows wouldn't you do?
Speaker 1: Probably Survivor. I don't think I would do Survive, even
Speaker 1: though I say I would. I don't like the idea
Speaker 1: of not being able to rush your teeth in the morning.
Speaker 3: That's your deal breaker. Yeah, that's a big deal break.
Speaker 3: I think you're allowed to bring one item. You're a
Speaker 3: fellow degenerate. Would you consider yourself a degenerator?
Speaker 1: Now depends on how you defined degenerate.
Speaker 3: Do you love Do you love the gamble?
Speaker 1: I enjoy gambling.
Speaker 3: Do you love it so much? Does it make you
Speaker 3: so happy when you sit down?
Speaker 1: I enjoy the first day, Like the first day in
Speaker 1: Vegas is usually my favorite. But I don't gamble outside
Speaker 1: of Vegas. I'm I'm controlled.
Speaker 3: That's kind of how I am about gambling. I like
Speaker 3: that you can't do it everywhere. And I'm glad that
Speaker 3: California killed sports betting because I was like, Oh, if
Speaker 3: that happens, I'm gonna be a mess.
Speaker 1: I have on my phone. It's out there, but I
Speaker 1: have a in notes I put don't don't sports gamble.
Speaker 3: So what's the most you've ever left Vegas? Up?
Speaker 1: Forty five?
Speaker 3: Oh it's a good. Oh, it's a good trip.
Speaker 1: And that was my bachelor party because I hit I
Speaker 1: hit a slot machine.
Speaker 3: Oh, such a dumb way to win money. It's like,
Speaker 3: it's not excited, it's all.
Speaker 1: So it's my favorite way because you don't even have
Speaker 1: to think.
Speaker 3: Because so we met on The Goat, which is a
Speaker 3: reality show that's out now on Prime. A month before
Speaker 3: the show began taping, I get an offer to host
Speaker 3: this show. I don't get offers a lot because I
Speaker 3: say no to everything. And I'm reading this and I
Speaker 3: had just had a baby, and I tell my wife,
Speaker 3: I go, what do you think of this offer to
Speaker 3: go to Atlanta? And she's like, we just have a baby.
Speaker 3: You promised me that you'd like stay here, not do
Speaker 3: anything for this one because the last time in my
Speaker 3: first child, like I was filming the day of on
Speaker 3: Tosh Pointo. So anyway, I said, but listen, this could
Speaker 3: be one of these shows that works. Like it's silly,
Speaker 3: I understand it on paper and if it is good,
Speaker 3: I'm going to be mad watching this ten years from now,
Speaker 3: saying I could have had that gig. It's only three
Speaker 3: weeks of work a year. She's like, we're not doing
Speaker 3: I go okay, I go, well, what if? What if
Speaker 3: they give us a huge mansion and a private jet
Speaker 3: to get there? I just started listing anything I could
Speaker 3: think of that would make her say, all right, let's
Speaker 3: take or at the time four week old new born
Speaker 3: baby across the country to do this. So then we
Speaker 3: came up with this ridiculous list and they kept asking
Speaker 3: me to do it, and I was like, all right, well,
Speaker 3: will you do all these things? And then they started
Speaker 3: saying yes, And I was like, oh fuck, Carly, we're
Speaker 3: gonna have to go to Atlanta. What did you make
Speaker 3: real money? Can?
Speaker 1: I guess yeah?
Speaker 3: But more so I was like, should we do this?
Speaker 3: And then I kept saying she was like fine, so
Speaker 3: we uh we go, and everybody stayed with me. I
Speaker 3: brought I like, I added to my contract. I want
Speaker 3: my own my own writers, I want my own producer,
Speaker 3: I want my own whatever. Sounds like a dream dream Well,
Speaker 3: and again they were to posses. I don't know what
Speaker 3: they were gonna do if I didn't do this. I
Speaker 3: was not. First, let's be clear, they had gone through
Speaker 3: people that had gone away, and they were in a
Speaker 3: situation we're interesting, and then they're like, hey, we got
Speaker 3: him on the hook. He might actually agree to do this,
Speaker 3: and then they had gone too far down the road.
Speaker 3: I rented a mansion, the most obnoxious thing I could find.
Speaker 3: But I rented this mansion mainly because it had a
Speaker 3: crazy driveway and uh and the pool had a big,
Speaker 3: huge slide. I'm like, oh, my son's going to love
Speaker 3: this slide. Meanwhile, it's one of those slides before h
Speaker 3: insurance companies got a hold of people and like, you
Speaker 3: can't have a slide like this because everyone got hurt
Speaker 3: that went down it. Yeah, my cousin by marriage, she
Speaker 3: broke her thumb on the slide. It was bad. The pool.
Speaker 3: The guy when we rent this place, he goes people
Speaker 3: usually just rent this place for like a wedding, not
Speaker 3: to actually stay in the house. When we're standing here
Speaker 3: for a month, he's like, well, the pool. It's either
Speaker 3: the pool or the hot tub. We can only heat
Speaker 3: one temperature. And I'm like, well, we want one hundred
Speaker 3: degrees for the hot tub. He goes, okay, well that
Speaker 3: means everything's going to be a hundred degrees. So this
Speaker 3: massive lagoon style pool with huge waterfalls, we had one
Speaker 3: hundred degrees.
Speaker 1: It's like a hot spring.
Speaker 3: It was, but like like algae was growing in it
Speaker 3: because it's not a good temperature to keep. This is
Speaker 3: just our house. This is the nonsense that's going mean.
Speaker 3: I've got a baby. So every night, you know, we're shooting.
Speaker 3: They make you shoot these stupid shows in the middle
Speaker 3: of the night. I was there, I know, right, but
Speaker 3: I'm having to go back to this other mansion thirty
Speaker 3: minutes away.
Speaker 1: God for bed right.
Speaker 3: To stay up with a four week old. Yeah. Like
Speaker 3: it was just it was just a nuts and they
Speaker 3: were everyone was going crazy. Here's how they sold me
Speaker 3: in the show. We're not making fun of people that
Speaker 3: are doing the show. And I was like, good, I
Speaker 3: don't want to do that show. I want to have fun.
Speaker 3: I want it to be lighthearted. I want to be silly,
Speaker 3: but we're mocking the whole genre of living together in
Speaker 3: competitions And I was like, okay, that's what they sold
Speaker 3: me on. Yeah, and then the show starts coming out,
Speaker 3: I'm like, guys, you're taking this too seriously, not you
Speaker 3: the producers. And then like one time in the first event,
Speaker 3: you're like, hey, guys, can we all fucking calm down?
Speaker 3: This is this is just a silly, silly game. Yeah, right,
Speaker 3: So then I was like, Okay, Joe's one person that
Speaker 3: I got it. I understood, right, Yeah, it wasn't meant
Speaker 3: to be. That's why when everybody's getting upset with people, like, guys,
Speaker 3: you're looking like idiots, just fucking calmed down.
Speaker 1: Do you remember how much they were screaming that first episode?
Speaker 1: It was insane?
Speaker 3: Can I ask you a question? Yes, out of.
Speaker 1: The contestants, who were you the biggest fan of before hosting.
Speaker 2: This Taysha and now after Tasha?
Speaker 1: Honestly though for.
Speaker 3: Real, no, no, I was. Let's being honest, although you weren't.
Speaker 3: It wasn't supposed to be you. I thought I thought
Speaker 3: I was supposed to be when I had seen the
Speaker 3: first list. You were supposed to be what's his name?
Speaker 3: Who is the guy that married uh, the the Canadian
Speaker 3: teacher Nick Vile. Yeah, I think you were supposed to
Speaker 3: be Nick Vile.
Speaker 1: So me and you were replacements.
Speaker 3: And then or you were supposed to be snooky. Uh,
Speaker 3: I don't know for sure. How much did they tell
Speaker 3: you about the goat before you agreed to do the show.
Speaker 1: They don't tell you much. They tell you how much
Speaker 1: money they Yeah, they tell you how much money. And
Speaker 1: I didn't know I was going on the show, probably
Speaker 1: because it was potentially nick un till I want to say,
Speaker 1: ten days prior. And then they just really staid pack
Speaker 1: colorful clothing.
Speaker 3: I made fun of your clothes a lot, I know,
Speaker 3: but I there was just one shirt that just to me,
Speaker 3: it just looked like, look, you just looked so wholesome,
Speaker 3: as brown as some stripes across the trailer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it does you you did nall it on the head.
Speaker 1: It looks like a third grade.
Speaker 3: There's all right. So you didn't know much about it.
Speaker 3: You knew how much you were getting paid. Now, do
Speaker 3: you get Is that the same as like Dancing with
Speaker 3: Stars where you get a lump sum plus every episode
Speaker 3: that you stay in. Yes, yeah, so that's what that's
Speaker 3: what brings the competitive nature out.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's like it's like playing a board game.
Speaker 1: You know, once you're in it, you're in it, and
Speaker 1: then you're you're you're there to compete, but.
Speaker 3: You're you're competing against some people, like like real housewives
Speaker 3: that certainly didn't need the money. So that's that's a
Speaker 3: silly thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a problem. It was because then you know,
Speaker 1: like some could say, no, one, we can't talk about that.
Speaker 1: You know, it's very hard to.
Speaker 3: Talk about a show that you can't talk about. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we filmed the show in Atlanta. The producers they're coming
Speaker 3: to me and they're like, hey, you know, we don't
Speaker 3: ever want you to mention where we are. Then the
Speaker 3: very first cut I see, the first credit that appears,
Speaker 3: is a big fucking logo of a peach with Georgia
Speaker 3: written above it. Oh I'm not allowed to mention where
Speaker 3: we are? Why?
Speaker 1: Why what it was? Why can't you mentioned it?
Speaker 3: Because you want you want to make it like, oh,
Speaker 3: who knows where it is? It could be anywhere, they
Speaker 3: could be anywhere. I don't understand Atlanta at all. It
Speaker 3: was the fucking grossest neighborhood. And then there was just
Speaker 3: this random dirt road that went way back and this
Speaker 3: huge mansion that was built by a former Indianapolis Colts player.
Speaker 3: It had sit vacant and so we rented to shoot
Speaker 3: this show, and it's meant to be a house. It's
Speaker 3: not meant to film a show with hundreds of employees
Speaker 3: just shitting. So the plumbing goes out. The plumbing went
Speaker 3: out constantly. I don't know if you noticed that.
Speaker 1: No, I didn't.
Speaker 3: Your plumbing will work.
Speaker 1: Oh we were fine. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Did you ever go into the garage.
Speaker 1: They wouldn't let me in there. I tried to walk
Speaker 1: in there.
Speaker 3: So the garage and it's it was like a ten
Speaker 3: car garage is just filled with just screens of every
Speaker 3: hidden camera in the house and all the people watching you.
Speaker 3: So I found that interesting to watch how the sausage
Speaker 3: was made. The thing is, I would be sitting downstairs
Speaker 3: when I would come to work. I would sit in
Speaker 3: the basement and I would have a TV of all
Speaker 3: the cameras, and then I would have some people tell
Speaker 3: me what I missed, Who said what, and blah blah blah.
Speaker 3: So I could see everybody's little plans live Like you, you
Speaker 3: always pretended to be like, oh, I'm just playing the
Speaker 3: dumb guy. But I saw you do a lot of
Speaker 3: dumb shit that was not planned.
Speaker 1: So but I was good at making it seem like
Speaker 1: a lot of them.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay. So then we get cuts of the show
Speaker 3: and you and I had had some banda. I was
Speaker 3: teasing you constantly. We had a lot of fun, right,
Speaker 3: They didn't put a lot of that stuff in there.
Speaker 3: How about well, I can't even probably can't even say it.
Speaker 3: Say it when I shot the firework backwards?
Speaker 1: Is that in there?
Speaker 3: I don't think. So that was funny. I asked you
Speaker 3: if I was allowed to call you. I said, I
Speaker 3: know this is a racial epithet goomba. I said, could
Speaker 3: you explain to me what it is? And you explained
Speaker 3: it to me, and then I said, I am I
Speaker 3: allowed to call you that if is like it? And
Speaker 3: you said yes or something. But it was so there
Speaker 3: was some back and forth about it, and that never
Speaker 3: saw the light of day. Wow, what is what does
Speaker 3: gumba mean?
Speaker 1: I think it's a slang for like an Italian, but
Speaker 1: it means like yo, oh.
Speaker 3: Hey I'm a Talian. Well it's not in the show.
Speaker 3: Some of the stuff I fought for. But like, here's
Speaker 3: the thing. We shot this a year ago. I know
Speaker 3: one year ago you looked the same though, Thanksome, But
Speaker 3: they're like asking me to give notes on these episodes?
Speaker 3: Dom you. When I give notes for a show, I
Speaker 3: give them one time and then I want you to
Speaker 3: take my notes. I know what's funny, what's not funny? Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's it. But these these are twenty back and forth
Speaker 3: over a year. You think, I remember what funny thing
Speaker 3: I said when you shot fireworks into your face? I
Speaker 3: can't remember every line?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 3: Am I saying that this show would be a million
Speaker 3: times better if they did everything that I said? Yes?
Speaker 3: But they you know, other people have jobs, I guess,
Speaker 3: and there's just it was just weird?
Speaker 1: Am I funny?
Speaker 3: Yeah? You're funny?
Speaker 1: Am I the funniest?
Speaker 3: I mean it depends.
Speaker 1: I'm taking you out of the equation.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I wasn't gonna put you in my category.
Speaker 3: You're the funniest if if if probably intentionally, and then
Speaker 3: other people, you know, they cut them to be funny.
Speaker 1: So that so then I'm I'm probably the most talented
Speaker 1: when it comes to being funny.
Speaker 3: Did you win the goat? Did I win? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I can't disclose.
Speaker 3: You're so properly pr trained. What did the cast really
Speaker 3: think of me?
Speaker 1: I think I think they all liked you. I would
Speaker 1: say I liked you the most.
Speaker 3: That's why you're here.
Speaker 1: I enjoyed your presence when you were there. It made
Speaker 1: me feel somewhat better about myself.
Speaker 3: That's nice. It's actually really nice. Nice to say. Reality
Speaker 3: hosts are usually pretty dry. Did you find me funny? Yah?
Speaker 3: I just said, yeah, funny? How funny? Like a clown?
Speaker 3: You know that you use? We're doing a bit there?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get it. There in New York, they there's
Speaker 1: like a real estate company that does that bit around
Speaker 1: a poker table and they have like a twelve year
Speaker 1: old girl do it with like a family, and it
Speaker 1: plays in the cabs in New York. It's so bad.
Speaker 1: It's incredibly bad. I watch it. I cannot believe somebody
Speaker 1: paid to make that.
Speaker 3: But you like it?
Speaker 1: No, I actually hate it. I hate it, and I
Speaker 1: really want you to say it's still worst.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll find it. I'll watch. I got a gift
Speaker 3: for you, Oh really? Yeah? I love that. I always
Speaker 3: give people something that comes on my show to have
Speaker 3: something from my house that I don't want anymore. Now,
Speaker 3: this this is this is you get. This is a
Speaker 3: two part of This is your wedding gift. Okay, this
Speaker 3: is a knife sharpener. Come on, man, is he here, Eddie? Yeah,
Speaker 3: Eddie's trying to Eddie bought me this. Eddie bought me
Speaker 3: this for Christmas a couple of years ago. I've never
Speaker 3: once used it, still perfectly the cord. You can tell.
Speaker 3: Never used it, Eddie, What did you pay for this?
Speaker 3: This is a couple of hundred is a couple of
Speaker 3: hundred dollars. Never once took used it, never even thought
Speaker 3: of using it. And it's a knife sharpener, and I
Speaker 3: thought it'd be funny to bring it here for Eddie's reaction.
Speaker 1: So this is this mine? Now, Yeah, thank you. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you can fly with a knife.
Speaker 3: Sharp you can fly with a knife sharpener.
Speaker 1: Take it off your hands, Okay, So that's it's a
Speaker 1: Model fifteen x V.
Speaker 3: That's a good one. That's not the only gift. That's
Speaker 3: not the only gift. I got it then because I
Speaker 3: was teasing you about your wardrobe, and I know you
Speaker 3: like to gamble. I'm giving you this is one of
Speaker 3: my show jackets when I'm in Vegas.
Speaker 1: Zippers up there. It's from oh, from Zach Sacks.
Speaker 3: No, it's not from sex. That's just an old bag.
Speaker 3: This is nice. You like this. Oh, look at that
Speaker 3: for when you're in Vegas. You're gonna love it. Go
Speaker 3: ahead for me, Yeah, put it on, see if it fits.
Speaker 3: All right, this is great.
Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting a jacket.
Speaker 3: Well it might not work with that jacket on it.
Speaker 3: You might be broader than I thought.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I told you my body's not bad.
Speaker 3: I think if you hadn't, if you didn't have the
Speaker 3: jacket or anything, it could be good. How's a look?
Speaker 3: Well it looks good now, but it looks weird with Yeah,
Speaker 3: what size are you?
Speaker 1: I'm a forty usual?
Speaker 3: I eate forty two. I don't know. I usually get
Speaker 3: a tailored You're you're not forty two. Well, that jacket
Speaker 3: doesn't fix anything. This is a thirty.
Speaker 1: This is the thirty eight.
Speaker 3: No, listen, Joe, what would your first illusion be? Yes,
Speaker 3: all right, take take that off. Okay, they're gonna love it.
Speaker 3: What have you been up to since the goat concluded?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: I got married.
Speaker 1: We had our wedding, but.
Speaker 3: You're already married, right, and you just did like a
Speaker 3: formal one.
Speaker 1: A formal wedding in Charleston. I have a podcast.
Speaker 3: What's the name of your podcast?
Speaker 1: A happy Hour it's like a Bachelor podcast, but you.
Speaker 3: Don't own it. No, they just put somebody on it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but are you making some decent scratch with it?
Speaker 1: I might get paid for it.
Speaker 3: That's another thing I don't know about these, uh Bachelor.
Speaker 3: I always told my wife if she died, I would
Speaker 3: go on the Bachelor. I would want to be the Bachelor. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but like, I don't think they would allow what I
Speaker 3: want to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I don't think you could. Come on, Let's
Speaker 1: rearrange the way the show works.
Speaker 3: Let's get everybody has to be naked. There's no world
Speaker 3: where I'm going to marry somebody that I haven't seen
Speaker 3: naked in the daylight.
Speaker 1: Well, eventually you will before you marry her.
Speaker 3: Your wife, that's who you want. You want somebody that
Speaker 3: fucking walked off the show right before, like the very end.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she didn't want to get engaged when when I asked.
Speaker 3: Her her season? What was the guy's name? Bet James?
Speaker 3: I watched that. Are you friends with him? Hold on?
Speaker 3: Are you friends with him? Yeah? No, I do.
Speaker 1: I do like him.
Speaker 3: Here's what I liked about Matt James. I remember the
Speaker 3: very first episode he started by asking everybody to pray,
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh shit, oh shit, this is awful.
Speaker 3: We're all gonna pray, all twenty five of you women
Speaker 3: that I hopefully get to have sex with. I'm let's
Speaker 3: first have a nice and then the girls are like, oh,
Speaker 3: this is this is so meaningful, this is what I wanted.
Speaker 3: It just the most insane way to start a show
Speaker 3: that is basically built around debauchery. We're gonna have this
Speaker 3: nice prayer to start it off. All right, how's marriage
Speaker 3: been married?
Speaker 1: Life is wonderful, it's great.
Speaker 3: How long you been married? Now? Two years? She's Canadian?
Speaker 1: She's from Toronto.
Speaker 3: She Canadian? Yeah, oh I'm making sure. Yeah, some people
Speaker 3: live in Toronto. But all right, so she's Canadian. I
Speaker 3: always say, don't marry somebody from a different country, but
Speaker 3: I don't consider Canada a different country.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's a lot more to it than we
Speaker 1: initially thought. Oh yeah, like it is another country. Oh
Speaker 1: so like all like you have to you know, there's
Speaker 1: like immigration.
Speaker 3: And she can become a citizens citizen potentially, potentially, are
Speaker 3: you going to move to Canada right now?
Speaker 1: We're trying to stay in the States, so we'll see
Speaker 1: what happens. But I do I enjoyed Toronto.
Speaker 3: Toronto sucks.
Speaker 1: You don't like Toronto? No? Oh, you really don't like
Speaker 1: huhuh okay, yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 3: Give me Nova Scotia, give me Montreal, give me Vancouver, sure,
Speaker 3: but Toronto hard pass Nova Scotia. Sure.
Speaker 1: I've never been there.
Speaker 3: Nicest people on the planet interesting, and that what they're
Speaker 3: known for. I think that. I think it's they're considered
Speaker 3: the nicest people on the planet. Whatever. One time I
Speaker 3: did a show that they protested it. Wow, that's true.
Speaker 3: You can't spell for shit? Neither can I thought, I
Speaker 3: could you give you a word? Yeah, all right, let's see,
Speaker 3: let's see how you do. I'll just let me just
Speaker 3: pick a random word and let's just see how you
Speaker 3: do on a single word. Bachelorette.
Speaker 4: That is the war word that I screw that word
Speaker 4: up every time I could spell the Bachelor. Spell bachelorette
Speaker 4: b A C H E, L O R E T
Speaker 4: T E.
Speaker 3: That's all right, that's pretty good. Thank you? Were you scared?
Speaker 1: I was nervous.
Speaker 3: Why are you still not on cameo? I feel like
Speaker 3: you're leaving a lot of money on the table.
Speaker 1: I know I never wanted to do cameo.
Speaker 3: You don't want to say happy birthday to people?
Speaker 1: I just I don't want to charge people for me
Speaker 1: to say happy birthday to down fair enough?
Speaker 3: Fair enough? Can we give out your number and let
Speaker 3: people just text you for free?
Speaker 1: Car accidentally? Did do that?
Speaker 3: You gave out your number? One? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And I and I gave out my Starbucks gift card
Speaker 1: once because I was trying to be nice for Christmas,
Speaker 1: like pay it forward kind of thing, and I put
Speaker 1: it on my Instagram and I filled it with a
Speaker 1: couple hundred bucks for people to to get their coffees.
Speaker 1: And then every time I put more money in it, it
Speaker 1: would get it would get whacked because people still had
Speaker 1: my number.
Speaker 3: Oh man, you gotta did you change it?
Speaker 1: I just don't use it anymore.
Speaker 3: No, you get you get harassed, recognized, any of that stuff.
Speaker 1: I don't get harassed, but I still do get recognized.
Speaker 3: And are you nice to people?
Speaker 1: I'm very nice.
Speaker 3: I think it's fun to not be nice all the time.
Speaker 3: But I have a different reputation.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Like if somebody comes up to me and says, hey,
Speaker 3: I'm a fan, can I take a photo? I'm like no,
Speaker 3: and they just walk away.
Speaker 1: Really that's how you do.
Speaker 3: I'll do that sometimes because that makes him laugh, like
Speaker 3: he just scream. But you go back now. I don't
Speaker 3: go back back then.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try it.
Speaker 3: You and your wife both do the podcast?
Speaker 1: We do it together?
Speaker 3: Are you guys both like lifers? Are you gonna just
Speaker 3: keep doing different reality projects if they come along?
Speaker 1: I mean, if I get asked to do another reality show,
Speaker 1: I would entertain it.
Speaker 3: But we'll see.
Speaker 1: I mean, if it fits the schedule.
Speaker 3: Sure, what's your schedule?
Speaker 1: It's pretty open.
Speaker 3: Right, You're you're smart enough to realize, oh this is
Speaker 3: this is interesting and I'll take this as long as
Speaker 3: I can.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm writing this wave you do.
Speaker 3: I mean, listen, if any anyone has taken a small
Speaker 3: little pop and fame and turn it into a career,
Speaker 3: it's you.
Speaker 1: Well, who else from the show? Have you have? You?
Speaker 3: Are you anna ask on your on your show? You're
Speaker 3: the last one, the end, the only one? Right, No,
Speaker 3: I've we've we've done them all.
Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, see, I mean there's I mean, think
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna think about it. Think about what what do
Speaker 3: you want me to think about?
Speaker 1: Why did you only ask me? I don't know because
Speaker 1: you see raw talent.
Speaker 3: Because you're silly.
Speaker 1: I'm a silly guys, You're.
Speaker 3: Silly, funny Joe, thank you for being on the show,
Speaker 3: and congratulations on all your success. Look forward to watching
Speaker 3: you this season on The Goat.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much.
Speaker 3: Look at that handshake so strong, Pasha, I want to
Speaker 3: thank grocery store Joe for being on the podcast. You
Speaker 3: find Joe interesting? Huh, Carl, do you find Joe interesting?
Speaker 3: He really tickles me. The first three episodes of The
Speaker 3: Goat are now available on set Carl Prime Video. They're
Speaker 3: available the first three, then every Thursday, a new one's
Speaker 3: gonna drop. By the way, this is two days after
Speaker 3: Mother's Day, but technically I'm recording this before Mother's Day.
Speaker 3: So let's just get this out of the way. That way,
Speaker 3: I won't have to do it on Mother's Day. Hey,
Speaker 3: happy Mother's Day. But do you do it kind of
Speaker 3: be the first of the first? Well this this is
Speaker 3: gonna air after Mother's Day, so I'm doing it on
Speaker 3: the air an official Mother's Day, most meaningful. Well, you're first,
Speaker 3: but it doesn't count because it's not Sunday. How are
Speaker 3: you feeling physically? I'm fine?
Speaker 1: Thank you, except that.
Speaker 3: I was very concerned because your sister and your niece
Speaker 3: and their family, they were under tornado all.
Speaker 4: Night last night.
Speaker 3: So I was upmost of the night texting with them
Speaker 3: and there.
Speaker 1: But they're all fine, So that's good.
Speaker 3: Oh that's good. Is that it?
Speaker 5: That's it, that's it.
Speaker 3: Happy Mother's Day. Thank you, love you, love you. By Hey,
Speaker 3: I want to thank everyone that came out to the Dolby.
Speaker 3: That was a pretty neat experience. My poor son. I
Speaker 3: was going to exploit him. I was like, Hey, do
Speaker 3: you want to do the intro for me at the
Speaker 3: Dolby where they, you know, do the oscars And he
Speaker 3: said yes. He was very excited. He had a joke
Speaker 3: planned and everything. He was going to walk out there,
Speaker 3: and the day of he was like, I don't know.
Speaker 3: He's like he just kept saying, I don't I don't
Speaker 3: know if I feel like doing it. And then he
Speaker 3: started complaining about being sick. And I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 3: I'm like, did I do you have like butterflies? Are
Speaker 3: you nervous? And I put this on you about doing
Speaker 3: this intro and I so I felt horrible. I was like,
Speaker 3: this is this is awful. I'm a stage parent. Like
Speaker 3: forcing my kid to do something that he doesn't want
Speaker 3: to do, and he's then he then there'd be like
Speaker 3: waves where he's like, no, no, I really want to
Speaker 3: do it. I was like, okay, we'll just do it backstage,
Speaker 3: and I hand you a mic and you can do it,
Speaker 3: and you walk out and just take a little bow
Speaker 3: with me, and and and he was and he did it,
Speaker 3: and it was funny. He passed out immediately after in
Speaker 3: the green room and we drive we're driving home and
Speaker 3: he just starts vomiting, just all over himself, just all
Speaker 3: over us, and I'm trying to clean it up, like
Speaker 3: We're like five minutes from home, and it's just covered
Speaker 3: in vomit, and I'm like, what have I done? I'm
Speaker 3: just sopping everything up. So that was, you know, the
Speaker 3: big night in Hollywood. I'm had a prestigious theater, I
Speaker 3: do a show, and I'm just covered in my son's puke.
Speaker 3: Then the next day I didn't feel so bad because
Speaker 3: like nine of his classmates had this bug and all
Speaker 3: of them had vomited. So I was like, oh, it's awesome,
Speaker 3: it's not my fault you. But he recovered and I'm
Speaker 3: glad he did it. Because it's a neat little memory.
Speaker 3: He did great. Speaking of shows, May eighteenth, I'm back
Speaker 3: in Vegas at the Cosmopolitan. That is going to be exciting,
Speaker 3: my first time performing there. Get tickets. I also have
Speaker 3: other dates coming up Louisville, Kentucky. Uh so, I don't
Speaker 3: know where else Detroit outside of Detroit, Columbus, Indianapolis. Come on, Indianapolis.
Speaker 3: What's going on? Boyswarpink dot com. I guess now it's
Speaker 3: time for one of my son's bedtime stories. Have fun
Speaker 3: with this nonsense. He was off the rails and I
Speaker 3: don't edit these, but you'll you'll notice my tone at
Speaker 3: the end of it is like, Hey, time for bed kid,
Speaker 3: see you next week.
Speaker 5: Okay, what upon the time a killa datto or flying
Speaker 5: in the Wayne heat, he'd fly to keep with the either,
Speaker 5: So we're tear of gattos. But he tried it for
Speaker 5: they too.
Speaker 4: Way.
Speaker 3: He stout down the.
Speaker 5: Truth, and then one outside those into and then the
Speaker 5: foot that killed, trying the adapt that finding away, and
Speaker 5: then said we don't want to stay on, and then
Speaker 5: blot out of window into the sign and they saw
Speaker 5: down their dad, and then and then and then the
Speaker 5: two and then the other two got to bloat, and
Speaker 5: then the occupus it all your jackals, and then and
Speaker 5: then they just rounded to a side. But and then
Speaker 5: and then.
Speaker 1: The sand and they bloted and a bit hold on ate.
Speaker 5: The fan, and then they were in a secal and
Speaker 5: and they turn in a seclcause they were.
Speaker 3: Two bre in a sea. Wrap this story up right now,
Speaker 3: and they're the light.
Speaker 5: And then it finds so white, and they brewed away
Speaker 5: and then they just the golfing helps you go. And
Speaker 5: then they're a tupid author all the ta down and
Speaker 5: then your mommy and Janny and the day eight ah
Speaker 5: the t Baco and swind up a mountain and the
Speaker 5: foot downs on the mountain and then cowered and then
Speaker 3: They cool get in bed Dan Dan