1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:15,000 Speaker 1: Years ago, I was on a panel and I heard 2 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 1: this woman who company did she work for? She was 3 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 1: like a sort of worked for a big company that 4 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: works on works on future marketing trends and what brands 5 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 1: are doing and what's going to happen. And I'll never 6 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 1: forget her saying you might hear you might one day, 7 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 1: or garbage will will smell like Gucci. Your protestanted and 8 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 1: I laughed at it, but I thought it was like 9 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 1: a good It sounds like a good concept. It was 10 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: actually this panel where I did say that I thought 11 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: that Donald Trump would win uh the election because he 12 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: was producing a reality show and and and it was 13 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,879 Speaker 1: people were watching him like Justin Bieber. I just will 14 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: never forget. This was years ago, years ago, the first 15 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 1: mention of Donald Trump running for president. But anyway, this 16 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: woman said that guard badge would be scented like uh 17 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: product or Gucci, like luxury goods. I was laughing, but 18 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:08,839 Speaker 1: it sounded like a good idea. So the other dayn 19 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: in my house and I thought that um Elena, who 20 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 1: works with me, I thought she had perfume on. It 21 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 1: just smelled really pretty. I was like, wait, do you 22 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,759 Speaker 1: have perfuma? I have perfume, and you know how sometimes 23 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: it's left on your clothes, but it wasn't familiar, and 24 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: it was the garbage. Garbage. Garbage smells gorgeous. Now like 25 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: there's that, there's scented garbage and it smells like beautiful 26 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: home fragrance. What an amazing, amazing idea. Like smelling like 27 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:37,960 Speaker 1: garbage isn't bad anymore. The garbage smells gorgeous. Tissues don't 28 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 1: really smell. Maybe they have scented tissues. I guess you 29 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: don't want different competing scents all over your house. They 30 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: have to choose a scent, like you should have something 31 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 1: that goes down into your garbage disposal that speaks to 32 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: your actual garbage. Your tissues to be should be in 33 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: that same scented family. It can't compete with your candles. Um. 34 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 1: There's a lot of there are a lot of smells 35 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: going on. So it makes sense that garbage should smell. 36 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 1: But you have to make a decision about what you're 37 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 1: going to choose as your your family garbage scent, and 38 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: then your garbage bins outside should also have a have 39 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: a scent. The people who collect garbage should be pulling 40 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: up to your house and knowing whose house they're coming 41 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 1: to because of how what the smell is at your house. 42 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 1: I guess toilet papers should be scented, But then people 43 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 1: toushies are sentitive. Maybe they wouldn't want that. It's good 44 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 1: for your garbage, but it's not good for your tush. 45 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 1: And maybe cleaning supplies where you're cleaning your toilet. Toilet 46 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: brushes should be scented. Plungers should be scented. I guess 47 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:35,239 Speaker 1: any area that smells like smells unpleasant. I mean, vomit 48 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: bags on airplanes should also be scented. Everything should just 49 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 1: starts smelling good. What's the difference. The city should be 50 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,239 Speaker 1: doing it to their garbage bags in the garbage cans, 51 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: so the city should be it should be smelling nice. 52 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,800 Speaker 1: You should open up a mailbox, put in some mail, 53 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 1: and it should just smell beautiful. And why doesn't like 54 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: ups and Amazon starts sending scented boxes everything you get. 55 00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:03,919 Speaker 1: Is it just gonna just start smelling nice? My guest 56 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: today is E. V. Pomp Rus. She is a former 57 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 1: US Secret Service special agent, host, journalist, and best selling 58 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: author of the book Becoming Bulletproof. She served on the 59 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: Secret Services Presidential Protective Division. That's so fancy and so impressive. 60 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: And she was a first responder during nine eleven. What 61 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 1: a total badass. She now shares her wisdom on her 62 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: own podcast, Unstoppable, perfectly named because she is. I am 63 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 1: so excited to talk to her. I think you're gonna 64 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: love this one. What a great woman, What a great story, 65 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: What an interesting conversation. So you were a police officer, 66 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: a first responder, You've worked for the Secret Service, you've 67 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 1: worked h guarding and protecting presidents. Is all of this correct? 68 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: That's correct? How did you get into law enforcement? You know, 69 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 1: I grew up in New York and we lived in 70 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 1: actually in Harlem. I was born in Harlem and immigrant family, 71 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: very kind of known story, so many people have this story. 72 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,359 Speaker 1: And we lived in public housing too, in queens and 73 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,160 Speaker 1: rough areas. And I think I grew up in an 74 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,320 Speaker 1: environment where you are victimized a lot. There's a lot 75 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 1: of crime around you, and you you feel the sort 76 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: of helplessness. And I think I over the years that accumulated, 77 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 1: you know, very fear based, don't go out, don't do this, 78 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: don't do that. And I kind of came to a 79 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,040 Speaker 1: place where I wanted to be able to kind of 80 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: protect myself and protect my family and kind of get 81 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 1: out of, you know, not being that fear state of mind. 82 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: And I think I was never driven by money. UM. 83 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,679 Speaker 1: I was always driven by I think, helping and serving others. 84 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: And truly, the last place I thought was gonna go 85 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 1: to I was gonna go to the end of my 86 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: p D. But I just remember thinking, you know what, 87 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: why not. I remember I was actually on the subway 88 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: going to UM. I just finished college and I got 89 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,279 Speaker 1: a job right out of college doing some admin work, 90 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 1: and I remember thinking, this is what I'm gonna do. 91 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:11,279 Speaker 1: And the subway doors open, Bethany, and I see this 92 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: police officer and this is a little bit back in 93 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,359 Speaker 1: the day, and he's hanging out with the rails and 94 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 1: his belly is hanging out, and I'm thinking, I can 95 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,480 Speaker 1: do that. And then that night I called too and 96 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:23,040 Speaker 1: to recruit and I was like, hey, you guys hiring, 97 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,360 Speaker 1: and it just kind of took off from their interesting 98 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 1: So what was your view of the police force and 99 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 1: what is it now? Like, what did you think about it, 100 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 1: what did it mean to you? What did your family 101 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: think about that decision? How old were you at that time. 102 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: It was right out of college one any one I was. 103 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,839 Speaker 1: It was really right out of college. I didn't care 104 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: for law enforcement. I was, you know if I whenever 105 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: I got pulled over, I remember I would roll my eyes, 106 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: Why are you're harassing me? Were you bothering me? And 107 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: I didn't really understand what it was um that they 108 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 1: did in some sense, but I just knew I wanted 109 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 1: to serve and protect. And it really kind of just 110 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 1: I don't want to say it fell into it, but 111 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,919 Speaker 1: I I walked into it with the understanding of this 112 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,040 Speaker 1: is a place that's gonna help me build resilience, it's 113 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: going to be a place where it can actually contribute 114 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,720 Speaker 1: to society in some way. And I had worked with 115 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,160 Speaker 1: a government official before that while as in college that 116 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,040 Speaker 1: worked for a congresswoman, and I think that also kind 117 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: of opened my eyes up. I worked for her as 118 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: an intern to public service and realizing just how much 119 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: people need help. And I think it also kind of 120 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,599 Speaker 1: woke me up to how hard it is to be 121 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: in the public service sector. You know, you you're always 122 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 1: trying to do the right thing, but you are there 123 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 1: to sort of the public and you have to tell 124 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 1: that line very thoughtfully and carefully because you're there to 125 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,840 Speaker 1: serve others and protect others. And is that message conveyed 126 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:48,040 Speaker 1: well the people? Really? Do people really understand it? Is 127 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,839 Speaker 1: there a lot of sort of the power play people 128 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,280 Speaker 1: just sort of feel like they're a hot shot, they 129 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,720 Speaker 1: get to be the boss there in control? Or how 130 00:06:55,960 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: how honored is that code overall? Do you think you 131 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: know you have? It's a really good question to ask, 132 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 1: and I think it's honest. I do think you get 133 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,119 Speaker 1: a mix. The majority of people go into it because 134 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 1: they want to contribute, and you do get individuals who 135 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 1: go into it. You know, you throw in the badge 136 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: and the gun. A very predominantly male environment. Um that 137 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: that's a negative thing, I think. You know, it's just 138 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: that that overwhelming sense of you know, I don't want 139 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: to say masculinity, but you know, this kind of boys 140 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 1: club type of mindset environment, all those things put together 141 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: sometimes draw the wrong individuals. And there were moments where 142 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 1: you'd look at this person and think, how did you 143 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: get in here? Why are you here? You're not here to? Um, 144 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 1: it's not about you, You're not here to you know, 145 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: bully people perhaps because sometimes they can be perceived that way, 146 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 1: you're there too, You're really there to serve, like you're 147 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: there for the public. And you know, it's interesting, I 148 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: teach criminal justice. One of the reasons like policing came 149 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: to be, or police came to be, is because there 150 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 1: used to be private police. So back back, big way 151 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 1: back when if you had money, it was the only 152 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: way you could have security. So somebody wronged you, you 153 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 1: had to pay to get protection, you had to pay 154 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: to get justice. So policing was developed for the public, 155 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,679 Speaker 1: for the everyday person who did not have the funds, 156 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 1: did not have the money, who needed protection. And that's 157 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: really where this public service came to be. But I 158 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 1: will tell you the majority of the people were very 159 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 1: strong people, very good people, people who were there to 160 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: serve and protect. And my stint in the NYPD was 161 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 1: a short stint. I almost immediately went from that division, 162 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: that department to the U. S S. S. Okay, do 163 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 1: you feel did you? And I asked this because it's 164 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,920 Speaker 1: such a common conversation and so many women talk about 165 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,240 Speaker 1: what it means to be a women woman versus being 166 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 1: a man in different different areas, and and I always 167 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,200 Speaker 1: answer honestly saying, I never have thought about that. I 168 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 1: literally have never thought about that. Now I'm not a 169 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 1: woman of color, and that makes it much more different. 170 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: But still being a woman is different than being a man. 171 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,960 Speaker 1: And in my life and I obviously wasn't a police officer, 172 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:16,120 Speaker 1: but in my life, in my business, I haven't. I 173 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: just didn't think of that. No one sort of told me. 174 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 1: Maybe it's because I grew up at the racetrack where 175 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: it was all men. I don't know, but no one said, oh, 176 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:24,679 Speaker 1: you shouldn't do that because you're a woman, or you 177 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 1: are a woman and it means this. So I just 178 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,200 Speaker 1: never occurred to me. So I always have to try 179 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,840 Speaker 1: to think of how to answer that truthfully without offending anyone, 180 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 1: but being honest and not just pretending that. For me personally, 181 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 1: I had so much of a struggle because I'm a 182 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 1: woman versus a man, I wouldn't. I may have, but 183 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 1: I didn't notice. So walking into a very male driven 184 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:48,559 Speaker 1: business career job, did you think of yourself as a 185 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: woman where people saying, but you're a woman, you can't 186 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: do that when you were there where you treated very differently, 187 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,680 Speaker 1: or did you just have blinders on about that? You know? 188 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,719 Speaker 1: I love that you said that I think you're the 189 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 1: only person who's ever said that to me, and so 190 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 1: I am not offended because I am in that same mindset. 191 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 1: I didn't stop to think about my gender. I didn't care. 192 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 1: This is what I want to do, this is what 193 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 1: I'm going to do, this is what I'm going to pursue. 194 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: And when you put that out there, it doesn't matter 195 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 1: what's here. And maybe in a lot of ways I 196 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 1: did have my blinders on because I was so focused 197 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 1: on what I was doing, Like, to me, that's noise, 198 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,319 Speaker 1: and so I can't sit and I was My mindset 199 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,439 Speaker 1: was I don't have time. I don't have time. My 200 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: mindset is I am looking to do this, and so 201 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,319 Speaker 1: I did not stop to think about my gender. It 202 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: wasn't Bethany. It was until after I laughed where people 203 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: were asking me, how did you do that? And I 204 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:47,559 Speaker 1: remember thinking, do what you know go through that? It's 205 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: like I just did it. I'm not saying that those 206 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: things aren't there, but I didn't have time from them, 207 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 1: nor was I going to give them life. Well, I 208 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 1: asked it because I got that vibe for me for 209 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:02,319 Speaker 1: some reason. And listen, you are very attractive you. If 210 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: I met you on an airplane. The last thing that 211 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 1: I would guess is that you had worked in law enforcement, 212 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 1: because I would have a preconceived notion about the way 213 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,080 Speaker 1: that you look. But I just got that vibe from you. 214 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 1: And the reason I asked it is because it is 215 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 1: a sensitive question to ask, because then people get annoyed 216 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:21,160 Speaker 1: when you don't acknowledge that it's a thing. But we're 217 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,679 Speaker 1: trying to tell women also, if it's happening to you, 218 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 1: then it's real, and if you're feeling it, it's real, 219 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 1: but not to look for it to happen, because by 220 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 1: going in thinking of it that way may mean it's 221 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: a self fulfilling prophecy for it to occur. So you 222 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 1: you went into a much more masculine, testosterone fueled industry, 223 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 1: although me going into the liquor industry and growing up 224 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,959 Speaker 1: at the racetrack is pretty masculine. But I just got 225 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: a vibe. So it's why I asked it, because I 226 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: think it's important for women to hear things that aren't 227 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 1: necessarily the common popular topics in the way that everyone's 228 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: saying it. That helps them. That helps them because you're 229 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 1: not teaching them to be of them to think like 230 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 1: one to bring that on, to bring in that energy. Right, 231 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 1: it's completely distracting. It hasn't it needs to not be. 232 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,679 Speaker 1: There's somebody else's bringing it in their problems, not your problem. 233 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: It's like, what what is my goal? My goal is 234 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,880 Speaker 1: to be in this industry, whether it's in law enforcement 235 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 1: or or selling live or whatever it is. And that's 236 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: when your mission focus, your your goal oriented. And so 237 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:28,040 Speaker 1: I agree with that type of mindset, and I think 238 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 1: that is the mindset that really gets you out there. 239 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 1: And I think sometimes when we really replay these negative 240 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 1: I'm not saying they don't don't exist. Of course they exist. 241 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: Of Course you're gonna deal with it. There's there's no 242 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 1: one saying that it's not there, but you do not. 243 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:43,320 Speaker 1: At least for me, I did not give it any 244 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 1: more life than it needed because it would take away 245 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,679 Speaker 1: from what I was doing, and quite honestly, it would 246 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 1: miss I think it would. It would miss me up 247 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,679 Speaker 1: my mindset. Yes, that's what I'm saying. If you were 248 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 1: starting to climb up a mountain and you were thinking 249 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 1: about all of the reasons you couldn't do it, you 250 00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 1: might get distracted if you just started to put your 251 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 1: in front of one in front of the other, and 252 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,440 Speaker 1: then something happened. You would deal with what happened in 253 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: that moment, but you wouldn't be all psyched out by 254 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: thinking about the monsters that are going to come. They're 255 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 1: coming or they're not, and you'll deal with that as 256 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:16,960 Speaker 1: you go. But you are on the road. So that's interesting. So, um, 257 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,040 Speaker 1: so what did you want to be when you grew up? 258 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,920 Speaker 1: What was your goal? And what? And what? What? What 259 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:26,600 Speaker 1: was your goal? And what is your brand? Or who 260 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 1: are you? What do you do for a living? If 261 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: I would say to you, now, who are you and 262 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 1: what do you want to be when you grow up? Like? What? 263 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 1: What are the answers to these types of questions? Okay, 264 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:37,960 Speaker 1: so now I think now I'm like many things. I 265 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,959 Speaker 1: and I left law enforcement after thirteen years. I left 266 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 1: the U S. Secret Services, and so I went into television. Ironically, 267 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,480 Speaker 1: I went to doing the news. So when there would 268 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:52,679 Speaker 1: be a terrorist attack or we have a crime take place, 269 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 1: I would be one of the commentators and contributors that 270 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 1: would go on the news and breakdown kind of this happened, 271 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 1: this is what we're seeing, this is what it means. 272 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: And then from there a transition to writing a book, 273 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 1: my book becoming Bulletproof, and then from that to transition 274 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 1: to coasting some shows being on Bravo. I did Spy 275 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 1: Games for Bravo TV and kind of spacing into that 276 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,559 Speaker 1: world podcast and then doing a video podcast for video 277 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 1: series called Unstoppable with my co hostly Stability. So I 278 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 1: think I kind of I took when I created in 279 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 1: the first part of my life, if that makes sense, 280 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 1: and I transitioned it into this other period um mostly 281 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: TV media. I think that's kind of the space that 282 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 1: I live in and I teach as an adject professor 283 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 1: and just communicating and and using media as a way 284 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 1: to share stories, tell stories, whether it's in crime, whether 285 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: it's in life lessons. Now, as far as what I 286 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 1: wanted to be when I grew up, I was not 287 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 1: that person or that young person who was very clear 288 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 1: headed I know I want to be this. I actually 289 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 1: studied the arts. I studied the arts. I went to 290 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 1: acting school, I graduating from acting school, so I had 291 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 1: a very much a love for the arts and creativity, 292 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 1: and then I went into a completely different space. And 293 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 1: that's why sometimes even now as a teacher or as 294 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 1: an aguict professor, I teach criminal justice in criminology. I 295 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 1: always say my students, don't worry about it, like it'll 296 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 1: you you're gonna study this and you would end up 297 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:18,560 Speaker 1: doing something completely different. And I think I've always just 298 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: followed what I felt. I mean, I've I'm always right 299 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,920 Speaker 1: mission oriented. I always use that word because it just 300 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 1: helps me. I identify goals and I'll think to myself, 301 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: I want to do this next, and I'll figure out 302 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 1: how to do it. But I've never really been preoccupied 303 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: with what's my five year plan because same it's never 304 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,040 Speaker 1: been that oh my god, I love it. I feel 305 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 1: like the only one who's like, I don't have it. 306 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,960 Speaker 1: When people ask me, I just look at them. I'm like, 307 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: I don't know, no, because you're you're playing chess. You're 308 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: looking at the board, but you have to be aware 309 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 1: of the pieces and what's going on right here, meaning 310 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 1: you're you're in the car. It's moving, but you're not 311 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 1: always sure where it's going. You have a goal, but 312 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 1: if you make a right, you make a right. If 313 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 1: you hit a roadblock, you you stop like you and 314 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 1: you have your executing the passion and the visions that 315 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,520 Speaker 1: you have. I mean that that's I'm very similar to that. 316 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,320 Speaker 1: I'm not a person who has the grand plan. I 317 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 1: execute the things that I love. And you're on a 318 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 1: journey and it seems like it's been, uh, it's been 319 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 1: a very circuitous path. So you're you're you've been, but 320 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 1: it seems like it's always been moving forward. You're always 321 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 1: uh growing, and it seems like it's I don't want 322 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,160 Speaker 1: to say getting better, but it's certainly getting deeper and 323 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 1: evolving more. Yes, progress, right, you're progressing and you're and 324 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: you're right though, because I also think to Bethany, when 325 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: you have a very you have a plan, it's the 326 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 1: super rigid plan. What happens. I think what I've seen 327 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,400 Speaker 1: happen is when people have this planet, it doesn't execute 328 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 1: the way they think they it will. They fall apart. 329 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: And so it's being able to adapt and flow. I 330 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 1: always think of water. It's like I'm water. So that's 331 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 1: why when people give me this rigid plan, I I 332 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,760 Speaker 1: can never function with that because if you're that rigid, 333 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 1: it's not gonna work out. You're always gonna have bumps. 334 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: And then that's where I see most folks get derailed 335 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,840 Speaker 1: um from that because they think, oh, this has happened. 336 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,639 Speaker 1: It's not supposed to happen. But when you're adaptable, and 337 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 1: I think to Bethany, and I don't know if you've 338 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 1: experienced this, but I've experienced it more now in this 339 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:16,960 Speaker 1: second phase of my life. When you miss opportunities as well, 340 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 1: things that you didn't think would come your way, You'll 341 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: miss those because you're so focused on, so rigid on 342 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,440 Speaker 1: on this one outcome that you've set for yourself. Yes, 343 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,119 Speaker 1: but you're younger than I am. I believe that you 344 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 1: look younger. I hope you're younger. Please God, I don't 345 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,760 Speaker 1: know about that. I've got really good widing of that. 346 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 1: All right, well, you make a bomb, but I think 347 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 1: you're a lot younger. But when you're younger and you 348 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:44,840 Speaker 1: have less responsibility, as we get older, time becomes more 349 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,199 Speaker 1: valuable and then you have to really streamline and decide 350 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,239 Speaker 1: where you're going to spend your time and where you're 351 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: going to get the greater r o I. So if 352 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,720 Speaker 1: it's in philanthropy, it's not necessarily it's not financial to you, 353 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 1: but it's rewarding. If it's in something where you're just 354 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,119 Speaker 1: laughing and really enjoying your life, or it's with your kids. 355 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 1: That's also got a return on its investment also, but 356 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:10,919 Speaker 1: time becomes more valuable. So then different reasons make you 357 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,200 Speaker 1: have to streamline and have your plan be different. But 358 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,320 Speaker 1: it's not the reasons that you thought it was. It's 359 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,960 Speaker 1: not oh, is the business exactly where I wanted to be. 360 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,919 Speaker 1: It's just there are only so many buckets, so you 361 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 1: decide how to have fewer buckets full the things that 362 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,160 Speaker 1: then as you keep going on the path, then you're like, well, 363 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 1: you know this is really important to me, and this 364 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 1: I love doing so much, and that I don't love 365 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,719 Speaker 1: doing so much, so that's gonna have to fall by 366 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,680 Speaker 1: the wayside, considering that also doesn't make me a lot 367 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:40,000 Speaker 1: of money, or something like me doing reality television, which 368 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 1: made me a lot of money, but it just didn't 369 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,199 Speaker 1: fit into the buckets that were important to me. So 370 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,679 Speaker 1: that's where I think. As you get older, that's when 371 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 1: you start streamlining, but for different reasons. And when you're younger, 372 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,400 Speaker 1: I hear you, but you know what helped me. I'll 373 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,640 Speaker 1: share this because of the job I think I did. 374 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,640 Speaker 1: Because every day, especially in the service, when you put 375 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,240 Speaker 1: your best on, you understand today I might get shot. 376 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,560 Speaker 1: I might get killed because you're protecting someone who's a 377 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 1: high value target. You're you're going out there, we're doing 378 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 1: we even you know, we would execute search warrants or 379 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,440 Speaker 1: rest warrants that we do undercover stuff. So every day 380 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,520 Speaker 1: I understood it could be my last day, and so 381 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,639 Speaker 1: for me, I think it was a blessing and it 382 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 1: was truly only one time in my career where I 383 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 1: remember I was like, I'm done, this is my last 384 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 1: day on this planet. I think it was maybe twenty 385 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,479 Speaker 1: five at the time of twenty six, and I remember 386 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 1: in that moment when things were happening and flashing before me, 387 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,439 Speaker 1: I remember thinking, this is it. I'm done, and I 388 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 1: was thinking about my life as a nay. I was 389 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 1: thinking about what did I do, how did I live it? 390 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,960 Speaker 1: And that always I ended up living, surviving the situation 391 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,400 Speaker 1: and incident, and I remember thinking after that, I'm going 392 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,359 Speaker 1: to live as if it's truly my last And I 393 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,159 Speaker 1: think maybe that job that I had really helped me 394 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,119 Speaker 1: with that. So I guess I live with if I 395 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,399 Speaker 1: go tomorrow, am I okay with it? That's why I said, 396 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,560 Speaker 1: and you stop to that. I feel like that. I 397 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 1: feel like either I I feel It's one of two things, Bethany. 398 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,800 Speaker 1: I either did what I set out to do, or 399 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,439 Speaker 1: I did everything I could I could to try to 400 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,600 Speaker 1: execute something that maybe I didn't get to do yet, 401 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 1: but I know I did everything I could to try 402 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 1: to accomplish this. Okay, well, so all right, so you 403 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,160 Speaker 1: you I'm going to think of the working for the 404 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: New York Police Department as a corporate structure because it's 405 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 1: hard to be seen, and you're a woman, and you're 406 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,040 Speaker 1: in a box and you've got to just, you know, 407 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:35,760 Speaker 1: do your grunt work like everyone else. So how did 408 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: you get seen, how did you stand out? How did 409 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:42,920 Speaker 1: you move from there into the Secret Service? And how 410 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,280 Speaker 1: did that trajectory happen? Truly, it happened really quickly. I 411 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 1: pretty much went from one like finishing what one academy 412 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: to the next. I just applied on my own to 413 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 1: the U. S. Secret Service. I thought, you know what, 414 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 1: why not let them tell me no? And and I 415 00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 1: applied to multiple agencies. Actually I think it was FBI, 416 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 1: d E A. And it was in the process with 417 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,919 Speaker 1: all of them just secret. You're allowed to do all 418 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: that while you're just a police officer. So everybody's allowed 419 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,879 Speaker 1: to apply for whatever they want, Like you can just 420 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:12,120 Speaker 1: go go through police Academy, your cop you're giving out 421 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: tickets or whatever your beat is. I didn't get to 422 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 1: do all of that, know whoever, whatever, whatever I think 423 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,120 Speaker 1: if it as in a TV show, like what what 424 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,159 Speaker 1: what would my focus if I went through police Academy? 425 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 1: What would I where would I be tomorrow? What would 426 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:27,600 Speaker 1: my job be? When you go through the academy, you 427 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 1: you they ask you where would you like to go, 428 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,800 Speaker 1: and you typically pick a precinct. You typically pick one 429 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,879 Speaker 1: you first start on patrol. Patrol is the officers you 430 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,879 Speaker 1: see on the street patrolling the area, whether it's on 431 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: foot or whether it's in their vehicle. Usually start that way. 432 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,440 Speaker 1: The idea is before you can do anything beyond that, 433 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,280 Speaker 1: you need to be on the street. You need to 434 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:48,919 Speaker 1: learn people, you need to handle yourself on the street. 435 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,639 Speaker 1: That's where you typically start, and then from there, I 436 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: think it's after about two years, you're either it depends 437 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:56,679 Speaker 1: on the department. You can either take a sergeant's exam 438 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 1: if you want to move up, or you can try 439 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,440 Speaker 1: to be a detective. You can go that way, or 440 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,159 Speaker 1: some people just love where they are and they just 441 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,480 Speaker 1: stay where they are because there are certain you know, requirements, 442 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,200 Speaker 1: like you have to have a college degree to move 443 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,320 Speaker 1: up certain ranks. So for me, I just ended up 444 00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:14,640 Speaker 1: going to a different agency altogether. And look, before I left, 445 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: I asked, it was the lieutenant that was in charge. 446 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 1: Actually he was at the academy. I said, look, I 447 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 1: was offered this job. I like, you here a lot. 448 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,399 Speaker 1: I'm not sure what to do. And he encouraged me 449 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: to the Secret Service. Yeah, he think it's a unique opportunity. 450 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 1: It's very hard to get and go. And I remember 451 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 1: he's like, if you don't like it, come back, we'll 452 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,680 Speaker 1: take you back. And I remember, I don't remember his name, 453 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,679 Speaker 1: but I remember what a genuine person to give me 454 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,120 Speaker 1: that advice. And so I just jumped from one agency, 455 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,959 Speaker 1: one department, so to speak, to the next. Okay, so 456 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,639 Speaker 1: that but that sounds super like fancy and movie like. 457 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 1: So you go to the quote unquote Secret Service. If 458 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,879 Speaker 1: I if I said she works with Secret Service, that 459 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:52,240 Speaker 1: sounds like that sounds crazy. So it just sounds like 460 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 1: a big damn deal. So when did you then? So 461 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,240 Speaker 1: you're what are you doing there? And how do you 462 00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,000 Speaker 1: then get to to to protect presidents? That doesn't see 463 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,560 Speaker 1: like a very easy gig to get No. So most 464 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: people have this misunderstanding that US Secret Service all you 465 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 1: do is protect the presidents. That is not true. So 466 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,399 Speaker 1: you go through this whole training academy. There's two that 467 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 1: you have to pass. When is federal it's where all 468 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 1: federal agents go to where everybody goes to um learn 469 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,359 Speaker 1: what's we're caught required by the federal government. You have 470 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,160 Speaker 1: to graduate that. Past that, then you go to your 471 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,199 Speaker 1: second phase, which is the actually US Secret Service training. 472 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,359 Speaker 1: You go to that, you pass back. Then what you 473 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:30,879 Speaker 1: end up doing is they end up putting you in 474 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 1: the field. So the agency has or the Service has 475 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,959 Speaker 1: offices all over the world to include New York, and 476 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 1: so you'll go to that office and your work cases. 477 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 1: So you have a Secret Service to dual mission. They 478 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:46,440 Speaker 1: do protection not just the president, former presidents, vice president, 479 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,480 Speaker 1: first ladies, former first ladies, foreign heads of states. Somebody 480 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 1: comes from another country Bethany to visit here, a king 481 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 1: or a queen or a prime minister, they get protection. 482 00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:00,159 Speaker 1: So there's a whole whole protection angle there. And then 483 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:04,240 Speaker 1: in addition to that, cases they were cases counterfeit money fraud, scams, 484 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,840 Speaker 1: electronic fraud, anything that happens online, Like somebody goes to 485 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 1: donate money to want to be strong, right and it's 486 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 1: a scam, like they would they could step in and 487 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,360 Speaker 1: just say we're going to investigate this, right, So they 488 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,680 Speaker 1: do all of that. So you're doing that the majority 489 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 1: of your career. Then then you can they'll come to 490 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:23,719 Speaker 1: you and say where would you like to do go 491 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,640 Speaker 1: to do full time protection? Not until this point, you'll 492 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: help out in different areas. So I would help out 493 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:34,399 Speaker 1: protecting the current President Bush Jr. At that time, or 494 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 1: former President Clinton at that time, or whoever while working 495 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,720 Speaker 1: all my cases. But there comes a point where they'll 496 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,359 Speaker 1: ask you, would you like where would you like to 497 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 1: go permanently? It's called phase two where you have to 498 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:47,399 Speaker 1: do it now this happens several years later. You do 499 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,359 Speaker 1: not automatically go to the president. It is very hard 500 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,879 Speaker 1: to go to a current sitting president. But if you 501 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,240 Speaker 1: ask for it, then you have to go through another 502 00:24:56,359 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 1: internal selection process basically another internal mini academy thinking like that, 503 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 1: and then if you pass that then even then maybe 504 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 1: you get to go. So it's uh, it's it's quite 505 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,240 Speaker 1: a process to go through. I did I followed that process, 506 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 1: and I ended up being able to pass and then 507 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 1: go into the protective detail for President Barack Obama while 508 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:32,280 Speaker 1: he was the current sitting the president. So you went 509 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 1: through all of these these gauntlets, this obstacle course, was 510 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,120 Speaker 1: it worth it? Was? It? Is? It? Is there? A there? 511 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:45,200 Speaker 1: There is it that insane like amazing exciting and and 512 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 1: and does it feel so important? And next level you 513 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 1: don't realize. I hear you. You're kind of like, right, 514 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 1: the euphoria of it while you're going through it, it sucks, right, 515 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 1: It's just like my body hurts, this hurts, I'm bleeding, 516 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,880 Speaker 1: my I can't see straight in front of me, I think, 517 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 1: And it's for me. It's like when it's done, then 518 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:06,080 Speaker 1: you're like, oh my god, I did this. I made 519 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,920 Speaker 1: it through this. You know when they hand over your 520 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 1: badge and gun and you're really like this is really 521 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,920 Speaker 1: mine to take home and they give you your vest. 522 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 1: But as you're going through it, and I don't know, Bethany, 523 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,520 Speaker 1: if you've experienced and the things you've gone through, I 524 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,520 Speaker 1: don't want to say it wasn't fun. There's no enjoyment. 525 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,680 Speaker 1: But when when anything I've done that's been meaningful, has 526 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,440 Speaker 1: been hard, Like in that moment, it's just hard. It's 527 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 1: afterward that you feel that Wow. I actually just nothing 528 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: good comes easy, nothing, nothing good comes easy. Wow. So 529 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,520 Speaker 1: you've discussed before. I don't know if you can explain it. 530 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 1: What your most it sounded like your most scary experience, 531 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,800 Speaker 1: What was the most um, what was your biggest success? 532 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,560 Speaker 1: What has your biggest success been so far? And it 533 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: sounds like you're now it's infotainment. It sounds like you're 534 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 1: educating and you're a professor and you're teaching people really 535 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:01,640 Speaker 1: important messages and skills, but you also have a fun 536 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: entertainment aspect of it. So it sounds like there's a 537 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:09,359 Speaker 1: big infotainment aspect to your career. I am infotainment. You 538 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,880 Speaker 1: are infotainment because it's very serious what you talk about, 539 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,160 Speaker 1: but you're entertaining, which is totally fine. Um, what has 540 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,120 Speaker 1: been your greatest success and what has been your greatest failure? 541 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,680 Speaker 1: And then I guess the most scared you've ever been? 542 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:25,040 Speaker 1: And then the most sort of exhilarated, you know, the 543 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 1: biggest sort of thrill. Wow. You have good questions and 544 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,000 Speaker 1: some of these I don't know. I've never stopped to 545 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,960 Speaker 1: think about what is my greatest success. I don't know. 546 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 1: I just I think it's I just do. I don't think. 547 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,879 Speaker 1: I don't dwell on things. I just do. And I 548 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 1: guess maybe made greatest success is I just don't care. 549 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,879 Speaker 1: If I feel I just don't care. I cared in 550 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:50,160 Speaker 1: certain ways, I think maybe, like, for example, we used 551 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 1: to have this term in the service. We would say 552 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 1: not on my watch, meaning whenever you got geared up 553 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,280 Speaker 1: to be with the president he's going out and doing stuff. 554 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 1: You never wanted him to be attacked or hurt while 555 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:03,919 Speaker 1: you're protecting him. It was probably one of the worst 556 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,119 Speaker 1: things that could happen to you as an agent, to 557 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 1: have that happen on your watch, because it's it's because 558 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 1: so many layers of security going beforehand, Bethany, like the 559 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,359 Speaker 1: proactive part that if the threat actually gets to you, 560 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:20,200 Speaker 1: it means all those layers of security failed and that's 561 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,119 Speaker 1: not a good thing. So I think that would be 562 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 1: my greatest success is that for the most part, like 563 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:30,960 Speaker 1: I just didn't care. As far as my failure. Man, 564 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 1: I feeled so many times that so many things, Bethany, 565 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,679 Speaker 1: I don't even know where it would begin. I'm okay 566 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,800 Speaker 1: with it I failed. I failed my first log exam 567 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,959 Speaker 1: when I went into the U. S. Secret Service Federal 568 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 1: Training Center. I don't know what was I was walking into. 569 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,760 Speaker 1: And I walked into that and I didn't do a 570 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 1: good job. Um, and I had to regroup and it 571 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 1: was a good kick in the But and I think 572 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,360 Speaker 1: maybe even in my infatainment career, which projects I choose 573 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:58,480 Speaker 1: or don't choose, and I'll make the right choice. Am 574 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: I listening to the right people? And the days where 575 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:04,560 Speaker 1: I rocket and there's days where maybe I don't rocket, 576 00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 1: if that makes sense. So I think failure for me 577 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: is consistent. I think the more I do, the more 578 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 1: I feel. But but the more I hit it out 579 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,120 Speaker 1: of the park every once in a while, and that's 580 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,280 Speaker 1: I feel that all you that's all you need because 581 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 1: you're taking chances. You're not gonna If you're not taking 582 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,240 Speaker 1: a chances, you're not growing. And that's that's how that's 583 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,880 Speaker 1: how you fail, That's how you bomb by by stretching yourself. Um, 584 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,960 Speaker 1: do you and your personal life are you able to 585 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,880 Speaker 1: detect bullshit more than the average person? Or do you 586 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:36,280 Speaker 1: sometimes feel in your personal relationships or with x IS 587 00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:39,080 Speaker 1: or whatever that you've been the last to know, which 588 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 1: is ridiculous because of what you do for a living. 589 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,960 Speaker 1: You know what's sad, it's it's a blessing and a 590 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 1: curse because the majority of the time I see it coming, 591 00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:50,200 Speaker 1: and so you read people. And here's the thing what 592 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 1: happens is and the reason why we don't see it coming. 593 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,240 Speaker 1: Sometimes look at the beginning of relationships. We see people's 594 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,959 Speaker 1: positive the positive stuff they put out there because that's 595 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,600 Speaker 1: what they're gonna put out there. It's they're in more 596 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 1: control of themselves there in this euphoria. So are you 597 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 1: of feeling good? There's also something like scientifically called like neurocupling, 598 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,960 Speaker 1: where we feed off of each other. We see the 599 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 1: world in the same way and we really, you know, 600 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,920 Speaker 1: feel good hormones in our body and this is why 601 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 1: the beginning things feel so good. There's nothing wrong with us. 602 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 1: And I think sometimes feel like they've been shammed, and 603 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,200 Speaker 1: the truth is, like, it's just what's having to be 604 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,560 Speaker 1: happening to you is just there's science behind it and 605 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,720 Speaker 1: biology behind it. Then when that kind of fizzles out, 606 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,160 Speaker 1: that's when we start seeing the behavior a little bit 607 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,440 Speaker 1: more clearly. And when we get shafted so to speak, 608 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 1: or people kind of take, you know, confuse us, or 609 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 1: we see things we're like, how did I not see that? 610 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,000 Speaker 1: The reason is, Bethany, it's hard for us to separate 611 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 1: the behavior from the person. And so what we do 612 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,360 Speaker 1: is somebody we know our love will do something, we'll say, well, 613 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 1: that's just how he is. You know he means this 614 00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 1: because one, it's also an investment, like, that's our investment. 615 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,080 Speaker 1: We don't want to lose in our investment in this person. 616 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,920 Speaker 1: We put all this time and energy and money, right, 617 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:02,960 Speaker 1: all these things we've put into and so it's not 618 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 1: to our benefit. So we we don't see the behavior clearly. 619 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,360 Speaker 1: It's after it's done, right after we walk away, where 620 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 1: we stop and you ever have that all those nickels 621 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 1: start dropping and you're thinking, I saw that, I saw that. 622 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,840 Speaker 1: I saw that. You put the puzzle together afterwards, Yes, 623 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: it's not that you missed it. You saw it, but 624 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 1: at the time you saw it, you're you're you're messing 625 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,400 Speaker 1: the two worlds the behavior, but with with him or her, 626 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 1: whoever the person's is, it's like, it's okay, it's just 627 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 1: you know, Bob, right, that's just how it. Bob is 628 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:35,760 Speaker 1: so you decide I've had enough of Bob, and then 629 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,120 Speaker 1: you're looking at it and you're thinking, I saw all 630 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 1: this stuff. That's what happens. But you don't do that 631 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 1: in work, which is interesting. You would never do that 632 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,200 Speaker 1: in work. In work, it would be black and white 633 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: and you would never have that. You would never have 634 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:53,440 Speaker 1: the luxury of that margin of error to make mistakes spethany, 635 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:57,480 Speaker 1: or to oh, miss something. I guess if you see 636 00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:01,440 Speaker 1: something suspect you would never miss something in your business life, 637 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:05,000 Speaker 1: but in your personal life are psyche or subconscious allows 638 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: us to miss it because we're more emotionally tied to that. 639 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,720 Speaker 1: Persons like this, methany. Somebody comes to you with a 640 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:12,800 Speaker 1: problem and you're thinking, oh, that's easy to do this, 641 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,920 Speaker 1: this and this and this done. Let's move on. But 642 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,719 Speaker 1: when it's your problem, because you're so much closer to it, 643 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:21,280 Speaker 1: because you're still to it, you can't see right. That's why, 644 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,600 Speaker 1: whenever you're trying to problem solve, having a good person 645 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,680 Speaker 1: to bounce things off of is great because they can 646 00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,520 Speaker 1: separate the behavior and the action and give you clear guidance. 647 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,800 Speaker 1: This is how you should handle this. If you bring 648 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 1: yourself to a point whether in work or you know, 649 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:41,520 Speaker 1: or personal relationships, to look at the behavior, forget the 650 00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,040 Speaker 1: person that's doing it, just look at the behavior and 651 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 1: just plug into somebody else. If somebody else we're doing this, 652 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,479 Speaker 1: or somebody else came to me and said, my partner 653 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,360 Speaker 1: or my friend is doing this, what guidance would I 654 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,200 Speaker 1: give them? And then you'll be able to actually see 655 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,840 Speaker 1: them clearly. Do you want to look for behavior and 656 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,120 Speaker 1: try to get rid of the identity of the person? 657 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:05,440 Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. Yes. Do you like 658 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,880 Speaker 1: for people to know what you do for a living 659 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,200 Speaker 1: or your experience or do you not want them to know? 660 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,000 Speaker 1: Do you not want to or do use it like 661 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,640 Speaker 1: a badass thing? Or is it like something once in 662 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,200 Speaker 1: a while you want to just like, you know, uh, 663 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 1: sort of surprise someone with it. I mean, I wonder 664 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,560 Speaker 1: when it's sort of like a tool, and I wonder 665 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 1: when it's used. I mean, in a movie, it would 666 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,320 Speaker 1: be sitting at a bar and someone takes you seriously 667 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,480 Speaker 1: and talks about your cleavage and wants to buy you 668 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:32,520 Speaker 1: a drink and then you just like you know, elbow 669 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 1: them and knock them over the bar and then show 670 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 1: them you're bad. But I mean in real life, what happened? 671 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:40,840 Speaker 1: What happened when someone underestimates to you as a person, 672 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,440 Speaker 1: not just as a woman, I just mean as a 673 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,000 Speaker 1: person because you're a badass. I think when you know 674 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:46,719 Speaker 1: who you are in your ground and you don't need 675 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 1: to tell anybody anything, you can just dismiss people. And 676 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 1: I think that's probably one of the best things that 677 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,880 Speaker 1: was given to me over the years, is the ability 678 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,560 Speaker 1: to feel grounded and strong and who I am. I 679 00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,040 Speaker 1: think because of all the challenges and the adversity and 680 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,640 Speaker 1: obstacles you have to go through, not just to be 681 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,840 Speaker 1: in that job, but to stay on it, and it 682 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,560 Speaker 1: always made me feel grounded. So no, I've never well, 683 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,560 Speaker 1: now I'm an infiltainment so it's different. It's different. Correct. 684 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,440 Speaker 1: I'm sharing it now in a public way, but in general, 685 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,839 Speaker 1: actually don't like to speak about it. I don't feel 686 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:17,880 Speaker 1: like I need to speak about it. It's like, I 687 00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:21,239 Speaker 1: guess you're you're a business mo you know, Mogo, You're 688 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,640 Speaker 1: like on top of your game, and it's you know 689 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,799 Speaker 1: you are right. How do you handle I'm curious, how 690 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,880 Speaker 1: do you deal with people who underestimate you? Does it 691 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:33,279 Speaker 1: even bother you? Um, it's not that I'm um, and 692 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:37,040 Speaker 1: it does well, it's funny. It does happen more with men, 693 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,759 Speaker 1: and I didn't, but I would never fought quote unquote men. 694 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,279 Speaker 1: Now that I look back and do what you said 695 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,799 Speaker 1: and put the pieces of the puzzle back together, it's 696 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 1: sort of just like a talking down to in a 697 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:53,040 Speaker 1: different industry, meaning saying, well, no, the way it's done here, 698 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 1: you know, like a little bit of talking down to 699 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,680 Speaker 1: and a little and then um, I get a little 700 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,600 Speaker 1: height but it's just I get a little heightened and 701 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:04,440 Speaker 1: I back it up. But it actually happened recently with 702 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,000 Speaker 1: a woman, now that I think about. It's somebody who 703 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 1: just decided to sort of talk down to to my 704 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,759 Speaker 1: team a little bit and underestimate the value of what 705 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,359 Speaker 1: we were doing. And then I will I just will 706 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,160 Speaker 1: sort of come in like a lawyer with you know, 707 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:20,959 Speaker 1: backing it up with all of the things that we've 708 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:23,000 Speaker 1: done and who we are, and just with intelligence. I 709 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,360 Speaker 1: think I come in with being super sharp and intelligent. 710 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,840 Speaker 1: And it tends to scare people a little bit, but 711 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:32,440 Speaker 1: it's not intentional. It's just if I don't say anything 712 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:36,760 Speaker 1: and I don't care what anyone thinks until someone backs 713 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,840 Speaker 1: me up into a corner. I don't come for anyone 714 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,280 Speaker 1: ever until they come from me, and then it's hard 715 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 1: to hit stop. Do you know what those interesting you? Actually? 716 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:52,319 Speaker 1: So you do actually have to check people? Um, and 717 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,120 Speaker 1: this is research research and science actually shows that when 718 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,360 Speaker 1: we don't check people in whatever way we need to 719 00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,400 Speaker 1: check them, that it actually can embolden them behavior in 720 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,120 Speaker 1: the earlier week, can check them in the relationship, so 721 00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:06,680 Speaker 1: to speak, whatever that relationship is business personal. Yes, the 722 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,520 Speaker 1: less likely there continue to keep escalating. And so when 723 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,600 Speaker 1: you can check them earlier, be direct, earlier, bessiny and 724 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:17,759 Speaker 1: shut it down or just exactly then, right, you less 725 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 1: likely to deal with that problem more. Otherwise it keeps going. Well, 726 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,680 Speaker 1: it's what exactly. I told my daughter this because a 727 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,520 Speaker 1: person was sort of telling her who she could and 728 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,080 Speaker 1: couldn't be friends with. And you have to tell this 729 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,240 Speaker 1: person that and the other thing I said to her. Listen, you, adelaide, 730 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,080 Speaker 1: here's the we we pad, here's where you pee, here's 731 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,040 Speaker 1: where you don't pay as it keep it nice and 732 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,719 Speaker 1: light and bright. But you let this person thank you 733 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,600 Speaker 1: so much. We don't need to be discussing this. I'm 734 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,640 Speaker 1: not interested in this conversation and you shut it down, 735 00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:43,440 Speaker 1: and you'll feel and secure in the moment because that 736 00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,680 Speaker 1: person is still trying to bully you. But when they 737 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,200 Speaker 1: realize they can't bully you, they won't go for you, 738 00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,799 Speaker 1: and it'll be unsettling for them that you are the 739 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,960 Speaker 1: one person that didn't succumb to the bullying. And it 740 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:56,319 Speaker 1: happened exactly as I said it, And you're right, it 741 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:59,840 Speaker 1: happens for people who are listening. It happens in the workplace, 742 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:04,040 Speaker 1: happens in relationships. Um. But yes, there was there was 743 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:07,200 Speaker 1: a new dynamic and a new deal and someone thought 744 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:10,080 Speaker 1: that they could not to me, but talk to my 745 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,759 Speaker 1: team in a certain way and demand certain things of 746 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,799 Speaker 1: my team, and everything gets back to me and I 747 00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,279 Speaker 1: had to literally shut it down. And you know, and 748 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,600 Speaker 1: everyone talks behind the scenes. Most people don't go to 749 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,279 Speaker 1: the problem. I'm the person that will go straight. So 750 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:26,680 Speaker 1: there's some listen, in no situation whatsoever would ever be 751 00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:28,759 Speaker 1: acceptable that you could speak to anybody on my team 752 00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,799 Speaker 1: this way. My team is me and I am them, 753 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,799 Speaker 1: and there's there's no way that you can operate this 754 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,320 Speaker 1: way and always be willing to walk away in those situations. 755 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,560 Speaker 1: Otherwise you might have to. You know, you always have 756 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,120 Speaker 1: to know when you kind of can't eat crow in 757 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:46,200 Speaker 1: these situations. I you know, you can't pull, you can't 758 00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:48,319 Speaker 1: give an ultimatum, and you can't you can't bluff if 759 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,560 Speaker 1: you're not willing to walk. You know what you did, Bethany, 760 00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:54,080 Speaker 1: that was really smart. You came back with facts. Most 761 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,839 Speaker 1: people right back with emotion. You made me feel this way, 762 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,120 Speaker 1: I feel that way, and that right where you came 763 00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:03,000 Speaker 1: with that information. Hey this, Hey this, and hey this, 764 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:06,480 Speaker 1: because that is difficult to fight back when you give 765 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,960 Speaker 1: fascial information. This is what we're bringing. This is what 766 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,800 Speaker 1: we're doing. This is how it is. This is what 767 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:14,000 Speaker 1: the expectations are. Those are facts, rather than coming in 768 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,400 Speaker 1: from an emotional place, which you potentially could and that 769 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,360 Speaker 1: that those never go well. But when you come in 770 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: and down with those facts, Bethany, it's kind of like, 771 00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:26,160 Speaker 1: oh shit, checked. You're right about checking people. It's the 772 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:28,279 Speaker 1: we we pad this is we just want to let 773 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,680 Speaker 1: everybody know the rules to the game. This is what 774 00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:33,160 Speaker 1: it is. And it's true because whether someone's asking for 775 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,520 Speaker 1: a raise or you know, it's it's not what you're 776 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,080 Speaker 1: asking for, it's how you're asking for it, how you operate, 777 00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:41,640 Speaker 1: how you're doing it, and it sounds like it sounds 778 00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,120 Speaker 1: like your background has really really been amazing and giving 779 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,799 Speaker 1: you these tools to help others and probably so many 780 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:51,560 Speaker 1: areas of their lives and protecting themselves in confidence, in 781 00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:57,839 Speaker 1: being a woman in a man's world, and well what's 782 00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:59,840 Speaker 1: more a woman's world than it used to be? But 783 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:04,279 Speaker 1: and also just you know how to move forward gracefully 784 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,880 Speaker 1: while setting boundaries. Yeah, it's interesting. I think probably the 785 00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:09,600 Speaker 1: thing that helped me the most is because I became 786 00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:11,759 Speaker 1: an interrogator at one point for the agency. It was 787 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,719 Speaker 1: their polygraph examiner. And one of the things they did 788 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,600 Speaker 1: is they send me to Department of Defense to learn 789 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,680 Speaker 1: how to interview and interrogate people and understand human behavior. 790 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,240 Speaker 1: And then I was sent to go get my master's 791 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,399 Speaker 1: and forensic psychology, and the idea was, it doesn't matter 792 00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 1: who walks in my room, I'm able to engage, communicate, 793 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,359 Speaker 1: and deal with that individual. I think those probably all 794 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,040 Speaker 1: those interviews over all those years, and then bringing those 795 00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:38,840 Speaker 1: tools even to today, even when I'm doing my in 796 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,800 Speaker 1: you know, my infiltainment talking even today talking to producers 797 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:46,320 Speaker 1: or talking to an agent or whoever i'm I'm always 798 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:49,440 Speaker 1: aware and aunt because you know what I noticed. It's 799 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:53,000 Speaker 1: easy to say this person is bad, this person is good. 800 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,880 Speaker 1: We'd like to put people in boxes, and this is 801 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:58,319 Speaker 1: how we missed stuff. The truth is everybody is a 802 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,800 Speaker 1: mixture of both. We try to have the good outweigh 803 00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:05,080 Speaker 1: the bad, but even good people because they are looking 804 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:10,239 Speaker 1: out for themselves. Because we rationalize doing something negative, we 805 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:14,320 Speaker 1: can rationalize it to maybe hurt somebody, or take advantage somebody, 806 00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,719 Speaker 1: or maybe cut somebody out of a deal. If you 807 00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:19,560 Speaker 1: can understand that anybody is capable at any given moment 808 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:23,520 Speaker 1: in time, if given the opportunity, then you are aware 809 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:26,080 Speaker 1: of all behavior and you're looking at the behavior. Most 810 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:29,080 Speaker 1: people fall into this gray area. And I think that 811 00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,719 Speaker 1: that's what's helped me a lot, because I went from 812 00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:35,080 Speaker 1: seeing people as literally right, wrong, black and white to 813 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,239 Speaker 1: just understanding that there's so much gray and if you 814 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:41,239 Speaker 1: can read through that, you really will understand better rather 815 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:43,799 Speaker 1: than taking someone and throwing him into a box and 816 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:46,600 Speaker 1: being like that person is just bad and then leaving 817 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,799 Speaker 1: them there. And it's this is when you miss the 818 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,560 Speaker 1: good people who do cause you harm, because who can 819 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:54,279 Speaker 1: cause you harm? And maybe they do it, and harm 820 00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:57,479 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be intentional. Most harm that people cause 821 00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,959 Speaker 1: us is unintentional. They think I didn't do anything wrong. 822 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,160 Speaker 1: I didn't think this was upse upset you. I don't 823 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:06,320 Speaker 1: understand it. Or people are able to rationalize and justify 824 00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:08,680 Speaker 1: things that they do to such a point where that's 825 00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:10,279 Speaker 1: why when you talk to them, they're looking at you 826 00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:11,719 Speaker 1: like you have ten heads, Like I don't know what 827 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:26,319 Speaker 1: you're talking about. What do you think about a woman 828 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:29,840 Speaker 1: being the breadwinner in a relationship? Why not? Are you 829 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:34,520 Speaker 1: in a relationship? Yes, I am. Okay, you're married? Okay, 830 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,680 Speaker 1: So you don't wear a wedding ring? Is that a symbol? 831 00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:38,640 Speaker 1: Is that because you don't want to be thought of 832 00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 1: as married? Or you're just not wearing your wedding ring 833 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:44,800 Speaker 1: right now? I'm just not because I worked out earlier today. Bettany, Okay, 834 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,120 Speaker 1: because I never Sometimes I read up on someone and 835 00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:48,840 Speaker 1: it says something about them, and I always like to 836 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:51,440 Speaker 1: just learn from myself here in case this is something. Okay, 837 00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:55,480 Speaker 1: So you're married and you don't have kids? I do know. Okay, 838 00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:58,359 Speaker 1: So what is your dynamic? Are you married to someone 839 00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:04,080 Speaker 1: who's private? Is he? What is he is? He intimidated 840 00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:06,120 Speaker 1: by you in any way? Does he love what you do? 841 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:12,319 Speaker 1: What's the dynamic in your relationship success? So I am 842 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:16,360 Speaker 1: fortunate because he comes from so he's he's more private 843 00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:18,640 Speaker 1: currently right now, but he comes from the same background 844 00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:21,920 Speaker 1: that I wasn't so where I was in the government 845 00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:25,480 Speaker 1: type of federal agency background, he's still there. I have 846 00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:28,360 Speaker 1: since left, so he's there. So I think what's helped 847 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,520 Speaker 1: me is that because of what he does, because he 848 00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:35,359 Speaker 1: is so secure him in himself, it doesn't matter what 849 00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,120 Speaker 1: I do. So even though I'm a bit more of 850 00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:40,680 Speaker 1: a public on a public platform, he's very supportive and 851 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:45,200 Speaker 1: very proud and um helpful. But he was before. However, 852 00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,799 Speaker 1: I can say that because he did what I did, 853 00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,040 Speaker 1: there were no issues now, Bethany, I don't know if 854 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:52,400 Speaker 1: that would have been the case, and this is a 855 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:56,120 Speaker 1: fair question if somebody else who did something very different 856 00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,360 Speaker 1: would have been okay, I don't know, because it's a 857 00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:03,400 Speaker 1: very strong type of career that I had, right and 858 00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:07,200 Speaker 1: I have a a strong and was a strong personality. 859 00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,920 Speaker 1: You can have a strong personality personality, but I do 860 00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,200 Speaker 1: have certain things that I've done in my life that 861 00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:15,959 Speaker 1: maybe maybe an average person might say I don't agree 862 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:17,640 Speaker 1: with these, or I don't like these, or why can't 863 00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:21,279 Speaker 1: you not be trying to do all this stuff? Um, well, 864 00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:24,000 Speaker 1: you speak the same language. You come from, you speak 865 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,400 Speaker 1: the same language. I often say that I think that 866 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:28,880 Speaker 1: people should be in relationships with other people that have 867 00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:35,719 Speaker 1: fundamental similarities to them, Meaning things get challenging when there 868 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:40,279 Speaker 1: are major cultural differences, religious differences, how you want to 869 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,560 Speaker 1: raise your kids, where you want to live, like just 870 00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:45,000 Speaker 1: the way you are, how close you are with your parents. 871 00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:49,640 Speaker 1: Things like that really do seem novel in the beginning, 872 00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:52,840 Speaker 1: but as relationships move on, these cracks become creators in 873 00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,279 Speaker 1: my opinion. So that's why I was just asking what 874 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,799 Speaker 1: type of person that you were in a relationship with, 875 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,560 Speaker 1: because you go in many different direct actions, but it 876 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:04,719 Speaker 1: sounds like you have similar fundamentals. You've just gone a 877 00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:09,240 Speaker 1: little more commercial and he's still more conservative. Yes, yes, exactly. 878 00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:11,640 Speaker 1: Can I ask Euslyn bethany do you find that because 879 00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,279 Speaker 1: you have chiefd so much and done so much, has 880 00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:17,040 Speaker 1: that been something for you that has been difficult to 881 00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:21,440 Speaker 1: find individuals that are secure within themselves. You know it has, 882 00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,680 Speaker 1: and but I put it more on myself in the 883 00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:29,640 Speaker 1: sense that I'm such a strong personality, I'm independent, I 884 00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:33,400 Speaker 1: support myself, I'm my daughter, and I are in the 885 00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:38,120 Speaker 1: unique love affair were so close and connected that the 886 00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,160 Speaker 1: ideals that you had as a younger girl and woman 887 00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:45,560 Speaker 1: about what getting married was about and what finding prince 888 00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,640 Speaker 1: charming was about, they've changed because when you were younger, 889 00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:52,080 Speaker 1: you wanted someone to rescue you. I had a crazy, 890 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,640 Speaker 1: scary childhood, so someone was going to just save me, 891 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,080 Speaker 1: and I was gonna be married young and someone's gonna 892 00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:59,600 Speaker 1: take care of me, and that was what the point was. 893 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:01,880 Speaker 1: So as you get older and you have your own 894 00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:05,200 Speaker 1: child and you can support yourself, which was shocked, Like 895 00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,400 Speaker 1: the fact that I could be a person that supports 896 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,200 Speaker 1: myself and can pay my rent is shocking to me. 897 00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,640 Speaker 1: Just was not something I was secure about my whole life. 898 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,200 Speaker 1: So then you have to really find someone who's a 899 00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:20,239 Speaker 1: partner and find the right common ground and reasons to 900 00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:23,520 Speaker 1: be in a partnership because they're not those traditional Prince 901 00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,160 Speaker 1: Charming is gonna take care of me, and I'm not 902 00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:27,560 Speaker 1: gonna work, and I'm with that person so we can 903 00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:29,359 Speaker 1: have kids together, and I need that person to buy 904 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:34,120 Speaker 1: me a house and all these superficial societal reasons. And 905 00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:37,080 Speaker 1: I don't love that about fairy tales and children's books 906 00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:41,080 Speaker 1: and everything, because it's just real life. Adult partnership in 907 00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:43,960 Speaker 1: your forties and fifties is not as sexy as a 908 00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:47,719 Speaker 1: big fancy dress and a chariot a waiting. So it's 909 00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:51,239 Speaker 1: more about how to find the right partner at this 910 00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,200 Speaker 1: point in your life. So it's additive. You're not you're 911 00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:57,440 Speaker 1: not insecure. You're not just meeting someone to check off 912 00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:02,040 Speaker 1: these boxes. You're finding a partner to enhance your life. 913 00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,359 Speaker 1: So it's just different. Does that make making any sense? 914 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:06,600 Speaker 1: When I say that, it does make sense. You're not 915 00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,759 Speaker 1: looking for a partner to fix it or to fill 916 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,960 Speaker 1: the void in your life. You're looking for a person 917 00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:13,840 Speaker 1: to come in and complement or add to that value 918 00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:17,360 Speaker 1: to your life. Right. They're not there to make you whole, no, 919 00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:19,319 Speaker 1: and they have to you know, if you're working on 920 00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,600 Speaker 1: philanthropy and you go on these trips to places all 921 00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:23,879 Speaker 1: over the world and someone has to understand that, which 922 00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:26,200 Speaker 1: isn't that easy. And if you have a daughter and 923 00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:30,920 Speaker 1: an interesting, challenging divorce, that's part of As we get older, 924 00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,360 Speaker 1: we have more stuff going on, so things aren't just 925 00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,040 Speaker 1: black and white, and I think that's also a blessing. 926 00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:41,360 Speaker 1: I think relationships when people are older are obviously more mature, 927 00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:43,640 Speaker 1: but for very different reasons. And it's hard for people 928 00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:45,719 Speaker 1: that meet in their twenties and get married in their 929 00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:49,720 Speaker 1: twenties to go on the same journey. Somebody sometimes gets 930 00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:52,200 Speaker 1: lost on that journey because it's not really their journey. 931 00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:56,120 Speaker 1: Some pretended they were someone they wanted the other person 932 00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,120 Speaker 1: to think they were, and then they're on the wrong road. 933 00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,120 Speaker 1: It's just marriage. I see why marriage can be difficult 934 00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:03,759 Speaker 1: for younger people, because both people want to evolve in 935 00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:07,200 Speaker 1: their own life and become their own full person. Yeah, 936 00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:10,000 Speaker 1: and you don't involve involved in the same direction. You 937 00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:13,279 Speaker 1: evolve in different ways, right exactly. That's why I just 938 00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,719 Speaker 1: asked you. Because you've had a very specific trajectory and 939 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:21,880 Speaker 1: a very strong personality and probably intimidating in certain areas. Uh. 940 00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:25,960 Speaker 1: And it makes sense that you're with someone who speaks 941 00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:29,360 Speaker 1: your language, who understands. I also married late Bethany. To 942 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,520 Speaker 1: be honest, like I really, I'm married late in my 943 00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,480 Speaker 1: my my life, like later than most women. I'm married 944 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,279 Speaker 1: in my late thirties, so by then everyone around me 945 00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:38,920 Speaker 1: was married and looking at me kind of like, what 946 00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,719 Speaker 1: is wrong with you? And I I remember thinking, I'm like, 947 00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:44,839 Speaker 1: I just don't I just I was like, I just 948 00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:46,799 Speaker 1: don't want to get married to get married, don't want 949 00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:49,840 Speaker 1: to get married and find a good partner. Right. That 950 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,160 Speaker 1: took some time for me. Yeah. I didn't have my 951 00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:55,160 Speaker 1: daughter until later later in life too, which is in 952 00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:58,440 Speaker 1: my late thirties. And it's you're making decisions for different 953 00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:02,480 Speaker 1: reasons then, Yeah, women have challenging road and deciding it 954 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:05,600 Speaker 1: doesn't all fit. It really just doesn't all fit. You 955 00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:10,080 Speaker 1: can't be in good shape and good health, looking good, 956 00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,520 Speaker 1: having a serious career, having a full family, keeping your 957 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:18,520 Speaker 1: house clean, doing charity great, in bed with your partner. 958 00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:20,080 Speaker 1: It's not that easy to keep it all up in 959 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,080 Speaker 1: the air. It's really not. I mean, you know, I 960 00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:24,239 Speaker 1: thank you. You're saying that thank you because when I 961 00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:26,400 Speaker 1: hear people say you could have it all, that is 962 00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:30,600 Speaker 1: the biggest I is a lot. You can have it all, 963 00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:34,680 Speaker 1: maybe in your entire lifetime, but not in the same moment. 964 00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:37,160 Speaker 1: So for example, like when I was in the Service, 965 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:39,880 Speaker 1: my Secret Service, that was my life, right, that was 966 00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:43,480 Speaker 1: my life. I had no other life in any other way. 967 00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:47,839 Speaker 1: So I was excelling in that area and that moment. Yes, yeah, 968 00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:49,839 Speaker 1: I mean you could have it all, but you would 969 00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:51,560 Speaker 1: enjoy it all. Meaning it's like I could eat a 970 00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:54,799 Speaker 1: whole every snack in the cabinet, but I'm not gonna 971 00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,480 Speaker 1: feel satisfied. You're just sort of doing it to do it. Yeah, 972 00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:59,279 Speaker 1: you could jam it all in, but that sounds like 973 00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:02,080 Speaker 1: a disaster. But you can't do it all right, you can't. 974 00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:03,759 Speaker 1: It's like I'm gonna go through your body, like even 975 00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,960 Speaker 1: your body, your fitness, your health. I sometimes you go 976 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,160 Speaker 1: through you go through motions where you do want to 977 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:11,120 Speaker 1: work out, you don't want to work out, or you're 978 00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:14,160 Speaker 1: not feeling healthy, you are feeling healthy, and I think 979 00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,080 Speaker 1: it's like it's just it's kind of this up and 980 00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:18,320 Speaker 1: down thing and allowing it to be that you can't. 981 00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:22,400 Speaker 1: You can't check all those boxes every single day. No, Okay, 982 00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,000 Speaker 1: So that's a great question. So I've never asked it before. 983 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,719 Speaker 1: That's gonna be a new one. I'm gonna add, um, 984 00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:31,280 Speaker 1: what are the five or three three to five boxes 985 00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:34,399 Speaker 1: you're checking now? It could be overall or could be today. 986 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:37,000 Speaker 1: Let's do overall, and what are the three to five, 987 00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:40,680 Speaker 1: you're not, and I'll do mine after, like meaning working out, 988 00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:45,200 Speaker 1: feeling healthy to tie or rested, whatever you're and what 989 00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:48,360 Speaker 1: are the most important to you, what really matters to you. Okay, 990 00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:50,520 Speaker 1: I'll give you my daily boxes. These are things like 991 00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,680 Speaker 1: in my life that I've realized I have to keep 992 00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:57,320 Speaker 1: and I try to maintain sleep eight hours of sleep minimum. 993 00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:59,680 Speaker 1: I'm the sleep queen. I don't sleep. I can't. This 994 00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:03,400 Speaker 1: does my brain doesn't function right. UM. I've noticed that 995 00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:09,000 Speaker 1: that's helped me quite a bit in every possible way. Um. Sleep, meditation, 996 00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:12,200 Speaker 1: that's a priority. You're making it a priority. You're in it, 997 00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:14,640 Speaker 1: and make it a priority, even if it's three minutes. Bethany, 998 00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:18,400 Speaker 1: I'm just a very UM. I have a lot of heat. 999 00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,759 Speaker 1: Maybe it's a cultural thing. I'm Greek or whatever, and 1000 00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:23,759 Speaker 1: so for me to kind of stay grounded and kind 1001 00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:26,680 Speaker 1: of chill and think clearly, I just even if it's 1002 00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:28,439 Speaker 1: even if it's only three minutes, I throw it in there. 1003 00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:31,759 Speaker 1: Working out almost daily, I don't care if it's ten 1004 00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:35,000 Speaker 1: minute workout or thirty minute workout. I just found that 1005 00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:41,320 Speaker 1: consistency that keeps me strong and balanced and mentally and physically. UM, 1006 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,440 Speaker 1: I think those are my Honestly, those are three. I'm 1007 00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:47,200 Speaker 1: trying to any to to always going outside on a 1008 00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,720 Speaker 1: daily basis. On a daily basis, I will go outside 1009 00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:51,840 Speaker 1: the house, even though, like I know we're COVID in 1010 00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:53,960 Speaker 1: this and that, I always exit my house so I 1011 00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,480 Speaker 1: let the sun hit me or let the air hit me. 1012 00:50:56,560 --> 00:51:00,080 Speaker 1: That's that's actually something I do, no matter what. And 1013 00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,279 Speaker 1: I feel like you look cute every day. I feel 1014 00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:04,279 Speaker 1: like you put yourself together, which is something. And I 1015 00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:06,600 Speaker 1: don't mean that as a criticism. It's an envy. Sometimes 1016 00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,759 Speaker 1: I don't bethany sometimes like I just I will put 1017 00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,359 Speaker 1: my hat on and I will go be me. I 1018 00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,200 Speaker 1: tried to look nice for you today. No, and you 1019 00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:16,880 Speaker 1: very much do you very much do? And I try to, 1020 00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:18,799 Speaker 1: but I never six. I'll tell you my three, and 1021 00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:21,080 Speaker 1: I'll tell you three. I fail at most days. So 1022 00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:23,200 Speaker 1: what if? What if? What are you failing at? What 1023 00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,440 Speaker 1: are you not? What are you not getting done? What 1024 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,680 Speaker 1: do I not get done? So I have a sweet tooth, 1025 00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,200 Speaker 1: so I may have a doughnut or I may go 1026 00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:32,040 Speaker 1: to Dunk of Donuts. Is my weakness. So I'm just 1027 00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,480 Speaker 1: putting it out there. That's that. But I also allow 1028 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,959 Speaker 1: myself to be that like I can't. I can't be 1029 00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:40,480 Speaker 1: I can't let that beat perfection. And I think was 1030 00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:45,279 Speaker 1: my failure m if I I will catch myself if 1031 00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:47,319 Speaker 1: I start to have if I have started to have 1032 00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:50,799 Speaker 1: negative thoughts or start to feel negative or snap, which 1033 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:52,880 Speaker 1: which can happen to all of us, so as it 1034 00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:55,120 Speaker 1: happens to anyone else, I will catch myself. I will 1035 00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:58,839 Speaker 1: remove myself. Okay, well, then you're I think you're doing 1036 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:00,600 Speaker 1: a pretty great job. You're having most of it at 1037 00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:05,880 Speaker 1: all because I'm putting sleep as a priority fully and 1038 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,600 Speaker 1: failing a lot of the time. But I'm putting sleep 1039 00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:13,400 Speaker 1: as a priority exercises, not sleep as a priority over exercise. 1040 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:15,360 Speaker 1: I can't fit them both in. I can, once in 1041 00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,520 Speaker 1: a while do exercise. I just can't do both of 1042 00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:20,880 Speaker 1: those things. Being a great mom I and my daughter 1043 00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:24,440 Speaker 1: and I connecting and being loving. I've I've checked that box. 1044 00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:28,279 Speaker 1: But also being a little snappy with her. That's where 1045 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:30,799 Speaker 1: I'm failing. Both of us are and she's a tween 1046 00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:38,240 Speaker 1: and we're having that snappiness but definitely connected love and um. 1047 00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:42,840 Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not being present enough as a partner and 1048 00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:46,080 Speaker 1: I'm I'm always half a failure. I'm always gonna get 1049 00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:47,680 Speaker 1: like five out of ten right and five out of 1050 00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:50,080 Speaker 1: ten wrong. You know, it's we're telling me yours. I 1051 00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:52,680 Speaker 1: started thinking of all of mine, So even as a partner, 1052 00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:56,480 Speaker 1: we're talking about relationships. So because it works busy for me. 1053 00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:59,640 Speaker 1: Now that does take a back sine. I actually spoke 1054 00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:01,400 Speaker 1: to my my husband the other day. I said, you know, 1055 00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:03,919 Speaker 1: I need to make you more of a priority. I'm 1056 00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:06,640 Speaker 1: we're so work focused and we need to be us 1057 00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:10,240 Speaker 1: focused too, and so let's kind of bring that forward 1058 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:13,520 Speaker 1: a bit. So, yes, one of those things that I 1059 00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:29,360 Speaker 1: have been missing and I'm working on there, rose and thorn, 1060 00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:32,480 Speaker 1: your rose of your career and your thorn of your career, 1061 00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:35,040 Speaker 1: a rose of career, probably working in the White House, 1062 00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:37,239 Speaker 1: walking in there and being like, oh gosh, I'm like, 1063 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,600 Speaker 1: how did I I'm here? Did I know you? Do 1064 00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:43,880 Speaker 1: these Do these presidents former presidents know you? If you 1065 00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:45,920 Speaker 1: saw them at a restaurant? Would they know you? I 1066 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:47,879 Speaker 1: think a couple of them would. I think the work 1067 00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:50,800 Speaker 1: spent the most time with would recognize me yet because 1068 00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:53,000 Speaker 1: you're with them on a personal level, or their kids, 1069 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:57,480 Speaker 1: like I had George Bush Junior's daughter for a while, Barbara, 1070 00:53:57,560 --> 00:53:59,720 Speaker 1: and so she knows me. And so when you spend 1071 00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:02,800 Speaker 1: some time with them like you, they know you. Usually 1072 00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:07,360 Speaker 1: it's it's a former president or not the current president. 1073 00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:10,480 Speaker 1: They're usually smaller details. Those folks seems to know you 1074 00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,360 Speaker 1: pretty well. And the first lady, I spent two years 1075 00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:15,759 Speaker 1: on her detail, so I knew her pretty you know, 1076 00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:18,799 Speaker 1: she was used to seeing me all the time. Got it? Okay, Great, 1077 00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:20,839 Speaker 1: that's the rose being in the White House. And then 1078 00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:28,920 Speaker 1: the thorn. It's just so many thorns. I'm trying to think, Um, 1079 00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:33,360 Speaker 1: you know, I have one. My dad passed and he 1080 00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,759 Speaker 1: had like a very gruff kind of personality. I loved him, 1081 00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:40,160 Speaker 1: and I think he wasn't the type of person that 1082 00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:42,239 Speaker 1: would say I love you or engage you a lot. 1083 00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:43,759 Speaker 1: It was just part of who he was not that 1084 00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:49,440 Speaker 1: he didn't love. And I think I could have I 1085 00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:51,880 Speaker 1: could have been a little softer. I could have maybe 1086 00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:55,560 Speaker 1: shown him more love because we kind of bumped time 1087 00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:58,880 Speaker 1: because we had same personality. And even though we had 1088 00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,400 Speaker 1: a wonderful relationship, and even when he passed, like it was, 1089 00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:03,400 Speaker 1: you know, I was there, it was with him the 1090 00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:06,359 Speaker 1: whole time. I think back and I think I think 1091 00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:10,560 Speaker 1: of those moments where I could have been a better daughter, 1092 00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:12,520 Speaker 1: and when I think of how it could have been, 1093 00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:15,040 Speaker 1: like a little less ego, a little little water in 1094 00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:18,480 Speaker 1: my wine maybe, Okay, alright, I like that? All right? 1095 00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:20,680 Speaker 1: Is there anything else? We didn't get to it? So? 1096 00:55:20,680 --> 00:55:23,000 Speaker 1: So so what what did I did? I forget anything? 1097 00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:27,600 Speaker 1: We talked about? Bulletproof? Was your book? Is it Unstoppable? 1098 00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:32,080 Speaker 1: Is your YouTube series my YouTube series? Yes? Yeah, we 1099 00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:35,040 Speaker 1: never and everything. Well, it was so good to meet you. 1100 00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:38,400 Speaker 1: You are so honest and open and what an interesting 1101 00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:42,160 Speaker 1: story and what a strong woman. Uh you are tiny 1102 00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:45,680 Speaker 1: but tough. So I appreciate the conversation so much. I 1103 00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:46,960 Speaker 1: hope we get to me. I mean, this is who's 1104 00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:48,680 Speaker 1: been sitting here with me. By the way, I've been 1105 00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:51,480 Speaker 1: looking at this guy with a straight face the whole time. Yoda, 1106 00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:54,120 Speaker 1: that's what we're sitting here. I don't know why. I 1107 00:55:54,239 --> 00:55:56,759 Speaker 1: just decided I needed him today for some was my 1108 00:55:56,800 --> 00:56:01,640 Speaker 1: emotional support? Jedi um anyway, he's my protect he's my service, 1109 00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:05,520 Speaker 1: he's my detail, He's well Bethany, thank you so much. 1110 00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:07,399 Speaker 1: Like I love all the stuff that you do. Jill 1111 00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:09,600 Speaker 1: speaks the world of you, and I'm just so happy 1112 00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:12,200 Speaker 1: to have been on and I admire you as well, 1113 00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:15,840 Speaker 1: like everything you've done and just the goals and just 1114 00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:18,000 Speaker 1: crushing it out there and just being like who you are. 1115 00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:21,480 Speaker 1: My hat's off to you. Thank you so much. Well, 1116 00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:23,000 Speaker 1: I can't wait to meet you because you're in New 1117 00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:26,040 Speaker 1: York and I know you're in a storia and I 1118 00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:29,480 Speaker 1: want to know the best Greek restaurant. Lukumi l o 1119 00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:32,040 Speaker 1: u k o u m I okay, I want to go. 1120 00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:34,040 Speaker 1: I love Greek food and I love Greece, So you 1121 00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:36,560 Speaker 1: can tell me everything. Awesome. Thank you so much, and 1122 00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:40,960 Speaker 1: tell your husband I said, Hi, what a sweet person. 1123 00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:45,960 Speaker 1: I mean, honestly to read about her history to go 1124 00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:50,560 Speaker 1: into to be a woman, I mean, she's a beautiful, cute, 1125 00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:58,040 Speaker 1: sweet little blonde honestly that worked in the NYPD and 1126 00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:04,880 Speaker 1: then went into secret serve. This guarding Michelle Obama, uh Clinton, 1127 00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:11,239 Speaker 1: many former presidents first ladies, just risking her life in 1128 00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:15,960 Speaker 1: the most serious, intense, legitimate way you only see in 1129 00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:21,280 Speaker 1: movies and uh now works in infotainment as I as 1130 00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:24,120 Speaker 1: I coined it. But just it's just funny the people 1131 00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:27,880 Speaker 1: who have these interesting stories that I honestly would have 1132 00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:33,400 Speaker 1: never known about and I mean crazy, what an honest, sweet, strong, 1133 00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:38,000 Speaker 1: passionate soul. I'm so glad I had that conversation and 1134 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:39,800 Speaker 1: I can't wait to get together with her. I don't 1135 00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:42,000 Speaker 1: usually want to get together with people, but I really 1136 00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:43,680 Speaker 1: want to get together with her and pick her brain 1137 00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:46,440 Speaker 1: that more. But she's like a really strong person. I 1138 00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:51,000 Speaker 1: found it very interesting that she, like me, never really 1139 00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:52,920 Speaker 1: thought about being a woman. And she was in the 1140 00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,440 Speaker 1: police force and in the Secret Service and it didn't 1141 00:57:55,440 --> 00:57:57,600 Speaker 1: really occur to her the difference between her as a 1142 00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:00,680 Speaker 1: woman and a man in that role, which is such 1143 00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:03,560 Speaker 1: a common current discussion right now in the world, just 1144 00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:06,400 Speaker 1: about being a woman in a man's world, being a 1145 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:09,480 Speaker 1: woman in a man's world. But sometimes you know, what 1146 00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:12,200 Speaker 1: if you don't think about that first? What if you 1147 00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:14,960 Speaker 1: obviously know that, What if you deal with that and 1148 00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:18,040 Speaker 1: approach that, but what if you don't really lead with that. 1149 00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:21,360 Speaker 1: That's something that was really an interesting conversation and surprising. 1150 00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:24,360 Speaker 1: I didn't think that she would have that answer. Great conversation. 1151 00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:28,040 Speaker 1: Do any of you have stories like this I want 1152 00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:32,160 Speaker 1: to hear for future episodes about stories that you know of, 1153 00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:35,800 Speaker 1: or if you have just plowed through you have just 1154 00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:39,160 Speaker 1: written your own story, played by your own rules, not 1155 00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:44,560 Speaker 1: listen to society or gender or labels, and you have 1156 00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:49,320 Speaker 1: just done it your own way or the highway.