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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, Papa, just like we're gonna read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. Could be now. Buckle

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Speaker 1: up and hold on type we got it. Fool you

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Speaker 1: Here it is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you. You sounded

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Speaker 1: a little like Don Cornelius this morning. All right, thank you, nephew.

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Speaker 1: Subject they let their husbands run wild. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I've been married for two years and I'm twenty five

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Speaker 1: years old. My husband is twenty six, and he pursued

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Speaker 1: me heavily until I let him take me out. We

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Speaker 1: had a great first date and he told me that

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Speaker 1: he loved me. I fell for him really quick, and

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Speaker 1: we got married in no time. He lived out in

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Speaker 1: the suburbs and I had an apartment downtown, so he

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Speaker 1: stayed with me mostly before we got married. Right before

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Speaker 1: the wedding, I moved in with him, and I met

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Speaker 1: three other married couples in his neighborhood. They were all

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Speaker 1: professional men, and they loved to golf, mainly because it

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Speaker 1: was a status thing for them. And I asked my

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Speaker 1: fiance at the time why he never mentioned these friends,

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Speaker 1: and he said they're his neighborhood friends and he didn't

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Speaker 1: really hang out with them because he was single. I

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Speaker 1: got upset and asked him if he was rushing into

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Speaker 1: marriage to fit in. He said absolutely not, and I

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Speaker 1: did not nap him about it. Fast forward to present

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Speaker 1: day and we've been married for two years. My husband

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Speaker 1: thinks it's okay to hang out with his neighborhood friends

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Speaker 1: every Friday and Saturday night. It's fine if they're in

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Speaker 1: the backyard or in one of their man caves, but

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Speaker 1: they liked to go to the city to hang out.

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Speaker 1: I'm the only wife in the group that has a

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Speaker 1: problem with it. One of the wives told me that

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Speaker 1: as soon as I start getting tired of my husband,

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Speaker 1: I will look forward to him hanging out at night.

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Speaker 1: My husband said that I'm making us look bad as

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Speaker 1: a unit because I'm always calling around complaining about him

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Speaker 1: being out. I don't like that they let their husbands

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Speaker 1: do whatever they want to do, and I hope it

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Speaker 1: doesn't rub off on my husband. He's not a big drinker,

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Speaker 1: but now he's buying liquor and building up his bar

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Speaker 1: to show up to his friend. Is there any way

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Speaker 1: to keep my husband at home? Well, you could lock

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Speaker 1: the bedroom door and throw away the key, you know,

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Speaker 1: keep him in there, But of course you're not gonna

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Speaker 1: do that. I just think this thing started from the

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Speaker 1: very beginning. I mean, you guys went really fast. I mean,

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Speaker 1: to begin with, you said he told you he loved

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Speaker 1: you on the first date. That was quick, very quick.

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Speaker 1: So now that you've been married for two years at

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Speaker 1: twenty eight, he'd rather hang out with his boys on

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Speaker 1: the weekend. At twenty eight, that just seems rather odd.

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Speaker 1: It seems like you guys would still be honeymooning and

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Speaker 1: getting it in at this age. He's twenty eight, now

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Speaker 1: you're twenty seven. I do think it's something to him

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Speaker 1: rushing to fit in with the rest of his suburban friends.

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Speaker 1: You mentioned that he denies it, but there is something

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Speaker 1: to that. He is trying to impress him. You mentioned

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Speaker 1: the liquor. He's trying to build up his bar, and

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Speaker 1: he doesn't even drink all that. I mean, they do

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Speaker 1: the same things together, leaving their wives at home when

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Speaker 1: they go to the city and your husband, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think you guys need to work out some sort

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Speaker 1: of compromise if you want to stay together, because you guys,

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Speaker 1: at the rate you're going, you might end up in

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Speaker 1: divorce court. I mean, you got to schedule some date nights.

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Speaker 1: You got to work on your marriage. Stop calling around

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Speaker 1: looking for him because he doesn't like that. Stop talking

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Speaker 1: to these other messy wives who seem bitter, they don't

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Speaker 1: even like their husband. The husbands at this point they said,

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Speaker 1: you know, when he starts getting on your nerves, you'll

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Speaker 1: be happy. All of that. You don't want to hear

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Speaker 1: that you need to work on your marriage. If that's

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Speaker 1: what you want, you know, let them know how you feel,

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Speaker 1: don't you know that doesn't require an argument or anything

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Speaker 1: like that. I mean, if he doesn't want to try

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Speaker 1: to fix it, then you know where you stand. Your

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Speaker 1: marriage is in trouble, and you guys are young. You

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Speaker 1: know you're gonna you're gonna come up against some hurdles.

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Speaker 1: You might want to consider counseling at least something to

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Speaker 1: try and keep your marriage together. But first, you know,

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Speaker 1: let him know how you feel. Communicate Steve great response, Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I'm stuck on this letter in a couple of ways

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Speaker 1: because there's so many things wrong here, young sister. I

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Speaker 1: hate to tell you that, but all right, here goes

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Speaker 1: uncle Steve. Let me try to help you out. They

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Speaker 1: let their husbands run wild. Let okay, we'll get into

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Speaker 1: that in a minute. You've been married for two years.

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Speaker 1: You're twenty five years old, your husband twenty six. Now

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Speaker 1: this is young. Now, this is young to be married.

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Speaker 1: I just want to tell you that right off the dribble,

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Speaker 1: we had a great first He pursued you heavily until

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Speaker 1: you let him take you out. You had a great

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Speaker 1: first date. He told me that he loved me. I

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Speaker 1: fail for him really quickly, and we got married in

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Speaker 1: no time. Pump your brakes stop. Here is the whole

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Speaker 1: problem in this whole letter is wrapped up in that

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Speaker 1: statement right there. I failed for him really quickly, and

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Speaker 1: we got married in no time. Well, that's the whole problem.

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Speaker 1: You did not take the time to know the score.

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Speaker 1: You did not take the time to read the book.

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Speaker 1: You did not take the time to go over the chapters.

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Speaker 1: You just jumped into it. Anybody that's married will tell

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Speaker 1: you marriage is a challenge. It's beautiful, but Lord, have mercy,

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Speaker 1: it's a challenge. And you didn't even have enough information

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Speaker 1: about your mate going in Now. He lived out in

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Speaker 1: the suburbs. You had an apartment downtown, so he stayed

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Speaker 1: with you most of the time before you got married,

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Speaker 1: right before the wed and I moved in with him.

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Speaker 1: That's out in the suburbs. I met three other married

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Speaker 1: couples in his neighborhood. They were all professional men. They

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Speaker 1: loved to golf, mainly because it's a status thing for them.

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Speaker 1: And I ask my fee, I say why he never

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Speaker 1: mentioned these friends, and he said they're his neighborhood friends.

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Speaker 1: And he didn't really hang out with him because he

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Speaker 1: was single right there, right there. And you know why

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Speaker 1: he didn't hang out with them, because as married people,

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Speaker 1: they weren't doing the things that he was doing as

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Speaker 1: a single man. You got that. When we come back,

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Speaker 1: the rest of it will get unfolded right in front

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Speaker 1: of you. Hope you enjoy it, and please stay together.

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Speaker 1: After my response, it's not over. It's just troubles, all right, Steve.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour today's Strawberry Letter, subject

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Speaker 1: they let their husbands run wild. We'll get back into

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Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening, all right, Come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: Let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject they let their

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Speaker 1: husbands run wild. Yeah, they do. They let their husbands

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Speaker 1: run wild. Now you're twenty five. You didn't married this

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Speaker 1: man twenty six. You got married really quick. You got

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Speaker 1: married in no time. According to the letter, he lives

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Speaker 1: out in the suburbs. He spent all the time downtown

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Speaker 1: with you in your apartment. When you all got married,

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Speaker 1: you discovered he had three friends out there in the

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Speaker 1: suburbs who were all married. You wanted to know why

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Speaker 1: he didn't tell you about him. He said, because they

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Speaker 1: didn't hang out because he was single and they were married.

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Speaker 1: Like I said in the beginning, when you getting married

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Speaker 1: in no time, you don't know the whole story. You

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Speaker 1: can't get a better picture of the view of the picture.

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Speaker 1: You haven't read the book, you don't have enough information.

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Speaker 1: So now this is gonna come back to bite you. Now,

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Speaker 1: he didn't really hang out there because he was single.

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Speaker 1: So then you got upset and you asked him if

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Speaker 1: he was rushing into marriage to fit in. He said, no,

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Speaker 1: absolutely not, and so you didn't nag him about it.

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Speaker 1: Fast forward to present day. Now we're talking two years now,

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Speaker 1: two years in past now, and my husband thinks it's

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Speaker 1: okay to hang out with his neighborhood friends every Friday

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Speaker 1: and Saturday night. Wow. Now, part of this is because

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Speaker 1: of two things. Number One, his friends have been married

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Speaker 1: for a while. Now, I guarantee you those three friends

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Speaker 1: are a little older than he is. And also this

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Speaker 1: has something to do with youth to want to hang

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Speaker 1: out with your boys every Friday and every Saturday. I

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Speaker 1: get to hang out with my main boys twice a year.

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Speaker 1: Twice a year. It's when I get to hang out

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Speaker 1: with my boys. All twelve of us get together, and

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Speaker 1: it's twice a year. Yeah, that's it. Now that's been

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Speaker 1: twice this year because the funerals sad to say, but

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Speaker 1: that's how long we've been friends. Now we hanging out.

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Speaker 1: You hanging out twice a week every Friday and Sadday.

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Speaker 1: And if you like it, okay, if they in the

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Speaker 1: backyard or you in one of their man case. But

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Speaker 1: then they like to go to the city to hang out.

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Speaker 1: Now you're the only wife in the group that's got

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Speaker 1: a problem with it. One of the wives told me,

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Speaker 1: as soon as I start getting tired of my husband,

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Speaker 1: I would look forward to him hanging out that night. See,

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Speaker 1: so obviously they've been married longer than two years. They've

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Speaker 1: been married for a while. If this is the feeling

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Speaker 1: that she has. My husband said that you're making us

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Speaker 1: look bad as a unit. That's funny right there, when

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Speaker 1: the dude told her, you're making us bad as a

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Speaker 1: unit by complaining to the other wives because you're the

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Speaker 1: only one complaining. Well, the unit. Dog is a marriage.

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Speaker 1: That's a little bit more important than a unit and

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Speaker 1: un it is an office space downtown. A unit is

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Speaker 1: a collection of coworkers. You all are unit. No, No,

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Speaker 1: this is a marriage. It's very different. I don't like

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Speaker 1: that they let their husbands do whatever they want to do.

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Speaker 1: And I hope it don't rub off on my husband.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what you're hoping against it already? Does

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Speaker 1: he hang out every Friday and Saturday? You hope it

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Speaker 1: don't rub off on your husband. It didn't rubbed. He

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Speaker 1: with them every Friday cent Ain't that what the letter fall?

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Speaker 1: It then't rubbed. He's not a big drinker now, but

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Speaker 1: he buying looking building up his bar to show off

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Speaker 1: to his friends. Well that's good because the bars at

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Speaker 1: the house see you getting them closer to homes, and

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Speaker 1: they're gonna be drunk, but they all gonna be closer

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Speaker 1: to home. Is there any way to keep my husband

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Speaker 1: at home? Well, there is a way to keep your

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Speaker 1: husband at home. But let me tell you what's happen

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Speaker 1: right here. The reason they go out every night, every

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Speaker 1: Friday and every sight because what's out there in them

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Speaker 1: streets is more exciting than what's happening at home. Period.

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Speaker 1: This is a fact. If your husband is gone every

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Speaker 1: Friday and every Saturday, I'm assuming y'all been at work

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Speaker 1: Monday through Friday, and all of them get together every

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Speaker 1: Friday night and every Saturday night, is because they're blowing

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Speaker 1: off steam from the workweek, and they're blowing off the

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Speaker 1: steam without their wives. Something is happening out there in

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Speaker 1: them streets that's more exciting. That's what's happening at home.

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Speaker 1: Whatever happened to date night, it would seem to me like,

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Speaker 1: since all y'all are friends, it would seem to me

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Speaker 1: like as couples, y'all would get together, and it will

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Speaker 1: be one couple's responsibility to host and event at their

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Speaker 1: house or playing and the date night for you all.

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Speaker 1: So if your guys did a Friday night, everything would

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Speaker 1: be cool. If the ladies and everybody got sadday. Now,

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Speaker 1: you ever seen a mob movie? You ever seen the

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Speaker 1: Mob movie? Even the Mob movie, they had a night

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Speaker 1: with a family, but then they had a night when

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Speaker 1: their girlfriends all met down at the cabana or the

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Speaker 1: cotton club. Even gangsters know, you got to take care

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Speaker 1: of your family. These faulk foods and got together on

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Speaker 1: the weekends and decided, ain't no damn family. That's about

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Speaker 1: its dumb. Even they do that in a gangster movie.

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Speaker 1: You got a night for the girlfriend, you got a

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Speaker 1: night for the wives. Y'all. Both day nights is shot,

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Speaker 1: y'all stupid. Y'all need a date night. Y'all need a

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Speaker 1: couple's night out. So y'all can save y'all's marriage. Because

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you right now, this continue every Friday

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Speaker 1: and every Saturday. You can't stay married like that. I

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Speaker 1: don't care who you are, all right, We're moving on.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: on Instagram, Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. And

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Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Letter podcast Please that's on demand

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Speaker 1: coming up at forty six minutes after the hour. You

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Speaker 1: know what time it is, It's time for junior and

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Speaker 1: sports talk. Right after this, you're listening to The Stave

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show