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Speaker 1: I gave my friend five figures for her ivy of treatment,

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Speaker 1: but then I took it back after she said something

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Speaker 1: heinous about me.

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Speaker 2: I think there should be a period of time in

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Speaker 2: which you can ask for a gift back, and depending

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Speaker 2: on the gift and the way it was received, that

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Speaker 2: period of time changes. But like, let's say she gives

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Speaker 2: this five figures, Yeah, he decides, Yo, I got car payments.

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Speaker 3: Someone just.

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Speaker 1: Keep my car. I'm gonna need a little bit of

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Speaker 1: that back. They lit my pool on fire, they let.

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Speaker 2: The pool on fire. Hey, I need I think twenty

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Speaker 2: four hours. You got a twenty four hour window to

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Speaker 2: go for.

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Speaker 1: The five figures figure more than twenty four hours that

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Speaker 1: you're just giving to a friend as a gift or whatever.

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Speaker 3: I think take it better.

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Speaker 2: The bigger the present, the longer the time you have

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Speaker 2: to take it back.

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Speaker 3: It's an inverse relationship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, math, Yeah, I mean I let my roommate of fridge.

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Speaker 2: Yeah right, a mini fridge that I could didn't really need,

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Speaker 2: and now I kind of want a mini fridge. But

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Speaker 2: like a statute of limitations on that gift has already expired.

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Speaker 2: I gave it like three months ago.

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Speaker 1: I can't become miniag Yeah, it's because you had a

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Speaker 1: mini amount of time, many amount of time. What you

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Speaker 1: should have done two days? I had two days max.

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Speaker 1: Two days. That's that's fair. You should have given her

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Speaker 1: a five figure fridge and then been able to get

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Speaker 1: back a time. Which if there's a five figure mini fridge,

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to see the future video. They got

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Speaker 1: smart fridges, but like a five figure mini fridge would

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Speaker 1: have to like missage mini fridge, mini fridge right right.

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Speaker 1: I had to be gold like gold plate. Don't have

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Speaker 1: like a bidet in it or like something. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: why would you want to with your food? But like

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what are the all of the LUSA?

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Speaker 3: A whole ecosystem within his within the day is equal

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Speaker 3: luxury to me because I don't have one. So you know,

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Speaker 3: you could like buy one for like eighty bucks. I

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Speaker 3: could and do an attack, but then my asshole would

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Speaker 3: be spoiled.

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Speaker 1: So we got to keep it, you know, keep to

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Speaker 1: right on that note onto our story. I female, thirty five,

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Speaker 1: am infertile A great opener.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, damn, I think that's like is that our like

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Speaker 2: tinder pickup line.

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Speaker 1: That's the first thing I'm Bianca. I'm fertile, yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I have two cats and enjoy long walks on the beach.

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Speaker 1: My ex husband and I tried everything to have kids,

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Speaker 1: but it just never happened.

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Speaker 2: I mean everything did Missionary Doggy, we did three sums,

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Speaker 2: we did four subs. We went in a zero gravity

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Speaker 2: Actually no, I heard zero gravity is harder for sperm

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Speaker 2: to travel.

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Speaker 3: They get all they got all walked about. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they were worried about like astronauts having sex and

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Speaker 2: space and are like, do we need space condoms? But

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Speaker 2: it turns out you don't need space condoms because seamen

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Speaker 2: can't can travel on zero geez.

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Speaker 3: Wow, I think I just found a life.

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Speaker 1: Heck o, you boys are trying to not wrap up,

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Speaker 1: just going to fucking rackets. Go to space, simple solution

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Speaker 1: that anyone could do. How strong do they swim?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 2: Well, NASA forbids astronauts from having sex and space.

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Speaker 3: Really yeah wow, oh I didn't know that.

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Speaker 2: Because they don't want an unintended space pregnancy. And then

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Speaker 2: they're like.

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Speaker 1: What what goes wrong? Like the kid like what is yeah,

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Speaker 1: what happens? Yeah, may be formed in space? Space forms

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Speaker 1: they probably they'd probably have to like emergency, like go

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Speaker 1: get her and bring her back down.

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Speaker 3: Damn well, meanwhile, the dude just sits.

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Speaker 2: Back says Anatomically and biologically, there are no known impediments

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Speaker 2: to human conception in space, but they are serious concerns.

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Speaker 3: They ain't trying to find out.

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Speaker 2: They are concerned microgravity reduces blood flow. But some says

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Speaker 2: it actually my aid sex.

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Speaker 1: The facts are we're not sure, We're not sure, indecisive.

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Speaker 1: And guess what happened right after they couldn't have kids?

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Speaker 3: Sam?

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Speaker 1: What he divorced her? Nice classic move, like a true gentleman.

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Speaker 1: Your baby, you're not popping out babies and you not

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Speaker 1: my baby?

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Speaker 3: What you said?

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Speaker 1: And then it gets even It gets even better, It

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Speaker 1: gets even better. Then he went and married someone younger

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Speaker 1: who was able to give him a kid.

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Speaker 3: She was fertile. Guess guess how fertile, Sam, how fertile baby?

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Speaker 3: Tell me?

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Speaker 1: Now they are expecting a second Child's that coach is cozy.

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Speaker 3: Good gravy. It's just as it's an agrarian para. That

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Speaker 3: ship is irrigated to the mouth.

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Speaker 1: Her vaginal canal is just I don't know for farming terminology.

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Speaker 3: It's hold. It's hold.

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Speaker 1: It's seeded, seated, a good rainfall at least twelve inches.

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Speaker 3: I was imagining in my mind that you know those

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Speaker 3: rows that they make, Yeah, you know, you know, you

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Speaker 3: know how to make those row. You need a hoe

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Speaker 3: to make the rose. You know how to make the rose.

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Speaker 3: That's all we're saying. That's all we're saying.

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Speaker 2: We're saying, that's it.

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Speaker 3: Farmer John coming in, Harmer John coming back. Now.

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Speaker 1: It hurts like hell to see someone have what I couldn't, which.

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Speaker 3: Case, she's infertile.

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Speaker 2: We heard in the opener that actually probably should be

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Speaker 2: your your tinder bio. Yo, I'm infertile, ready to mingle,

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Speaker 2: dump your seed in me. We need don't worry. Don't

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Speaker 2: your seat in me, don't need to worry. That's a

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Speaker 2: jingle if I ever heard was Hey, that's that's your Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's here, like your calling cards.

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Speaker 1: Every every granny, every guilf, that's their that's their calling card.

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Speaker 3: Yo. No teeth else, no problem.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, take those dentures out, baby, you need some

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Speaker 2: sloppy toppy.

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Speaker 3: Oh what those guns do? What those guns do? That's amazing.

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Speaker 3: That's all time classic. Yo.

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Speaker 2: It reminds me of that there's a scene in Yes Man,

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Speaker 2: where like the neighbors like eighty or ninety and and

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Speaker 2: she's hitting on Jim Carrey.

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Speaker 3: Have you seen that scene? I've seen the movie and

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Speaker 3: like right after you want to.

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Speaker 2: Have some cookies and yes, say yes, yeah, And she's

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Speaker 2: like do you want to go to the bedroom. He

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Speaker 2: has to say yes, say guys. She's like just relax,

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Speaker 2: takes up her pants and then you just see takes

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Speaker 2: up his pants and then you just see the guns

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Speaker 2: come out and Carrie is loving it. You know, yo,

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Speaker 2: years of experience, no teeth, what more do you need?

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Speaker 3: Nothing? Nothing? Nothing? Yeah, granny got game. Granny got game.

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Speaker 1: And Opie says, I get frustrated with myself sometimes and

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Speaker 1: with my family that also blames me for everything basically,

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Speaker 1: which makes for being infertile, Like, how bro, you gave

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Speaker 1: me this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, gave me this, Thanks genetics, like for my infertility. Literally, gosh, Microwaven,

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Speaker 2: that that that.

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Speaker 1: Microwaven, that Coachi, that coachy. We come, I juck Cochie, hotter,

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Speaker 1: fresh and ready in thirty seconds. God, hot pockets, Hot pockets.

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Speaker 1: There's a whole new meaning. Oh man, how many how

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Speaker 1: many uh, how many giant jokes can we make in

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Speaker 1: one episode, let's find out as many as as you'll

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Speaker 1: listen to humane yeutention how many people this?

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Speaker 3: Yeh? Hey real ones, thanks for sticking around. That's right.

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Speaker 1: I turned to my so I turned to my friends

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Speaker 1: for support, especially Alisha, who's in the same infertility boat

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Speaker 1: as me.

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Speaker 3: That's right. You know, we ain't get a wet in

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Speaker 3: here dry lands only.

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Speaker 1: Hey, we need some We need some people to maybe

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Speaker 1: help man these boats.

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Speaker 3: No, the c man, We're on the boat with no help. Wow,

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Speaker 3: good Samuel Donner, Ladies and gentlemen, I last night. Catch

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Speaker 3: me at the comedy store if you want more. Now.

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Speaker 1: Alicia and her husband are currently trying for IVF, hoping

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Speaker 1: that it'll work.

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Speaker 3: Which why op, he didn't try this? Did they not?

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Speaker 3: They must have?

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Speaker 1: They must well, we'll see it's if they didn't that

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Speaker 1: is kind of stupid. Now. At least I asked if

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Speaker 1: I could help pay for her upcoming IVF cycle.

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Speaker 3: So guess what she did say?

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Speaker 2: Well, if you're in the same infertility boat, you got uh,

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Speaker 2: you gotta help fund those holes, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: Help help out a hole.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, help out a help out a hole holes, Help

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Speaker 2: out holes, bros.

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Speaker 1: Before hold. Yeah, that was a whole hole that I

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Speaker 1: shouldn't go in. Okay, you're not being able to get out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: man's digging himself a hole, that's right. So oh he

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Speaker 1: agreed to write her a check for twelve thousand dollars.

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Speaker 3: That's a lot of smack of room. That is not

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Speaker 3: that is not nothing like clamsholls in this boat, sticking

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Speaker 3: with the seat. How far can't we go? Hey, we're

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Speaker 3: gonna go across the Pacific.

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Speaker 1: Baby, Yeah, don't don't try. Miles nautical miles nautical miles. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: do not worry. Yes, it's going. I really wanted to

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Speaker 1: help her, and the money came with no strings attacked.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like very just guy coming with strings. Cat.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: That's a sticky situation. I wrote the check and gave

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Speaker 1: it to her last week and she was very appreciative

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Speaker 1: of it. Oh cool, we would hope imagine like twelve

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Speaker 1: twelve Wow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how some people in like the Mister Beast

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Speaker 2: videos like reactionally, I just get you.

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Speaker 3: I'm drinking. I'm about to give you a hundred thousand

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Speaker 3: dollars Like thanks, what about a million? Sick? Yeah, dude,

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Speaker 3: you're what I did any more. Now.

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Speaker 1: The very next day, I got a sudden message from

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Speaker 1: I got a sudden message from a mutual friend, Carol

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Speaker 1: with a screenshot of the conversation she had with Alicia.

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Speaker 3: Oh shit, she is. She's sharing receipts, she shares us.

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Speaker 1: It's going down. The tea is being spilt. Turns out

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Speaker 1: she and Alicia were talking about the upcoming ivy of cycle,

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Speaker 1: and Alicia said that she hoped the cycle could work

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Speaker 1: because quote, she didn't want to end up divorced and

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Speaker 1: having her husband Gill Mary someone younger and have a

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Speaker 1: baby with them and another one on the way.

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Speaker 2: That is so out of pocket, especially for someone that's

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Speaker 2: helping you, especially for someone who needs help in their pocket.

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Speaker 2: M And there's even there's even more to the quote, Uh.

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Speaker 1: All of that while she's alone without a family at.

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Speaker 3: Thirty five years old. Yo, that's just me, like.

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Speaker 1: For for a friend in a regular situation already already yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: Like I'm cutting down frontlady. They're saying that about me.

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Speaker 3: That's fucking with the check in absurd, absurd. I was stunned, hurt.

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Speaker 1: I knew she meant me here, but I did not

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Speaker 1: confront her I simply contacted my bank and I asked

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Speaker 1: them to cancel the check.

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Speaker 3: Oh sweet, sweet revenge, No more money for you.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, take those claims back, baby, that's right.

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Speaker 1: Put them in your boat. That's right, sail away, say

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Speaker 1: hell off, give the seamen the orders to march back.

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Speaker 1: In the evening, Alicia called to ask why I had

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Speaker 1: canceled the check.

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Speaker 3: Oh I wonder why, ha ha ha. So I told

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Speaker 3: her she went back crap crazy, saying she didn't mean

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Speaker 3: it that way, and then you should have sent it

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Speaker 3: that in? What way do you mean that? Seriously? Pretty explicit?

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Speaker 1: I don't want to end up alone and childless like

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Speaker 1: you like, excuse me.

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Speaker 3: To be fair. That is a some people prefer that maybe,

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Speaker 3: or well no, she probably doesn't want to end up alone.

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Speaker 3: She's speaking her truth.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah, And that she thought it was somewhat

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Speaker 1: of an inside joke between desperate.

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Speaker 3: And fertile women. What inside jokes? It's the infertile women group.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm going to speak on behalf of

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Speaker 2: all desperate infertile women.

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Speaker 3: I don't think this is chill. It's not okay, not

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Speaker 3: like that.

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Speaker 1: Imagine, imagine they come back to like Hello, we are

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Speaker 1: we are the IVS, and we have deemed that it

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Speaker 1: is acceptable to completely trash friends who give you twelve

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars for your IVM.

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Speaker 2: Any infertile women listening to the pod or listening wherever

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Speaker 2: you're listening, let me know. Maybe I'm out of touch

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Speaker 2: with all my infertile hose out here.

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Speaker 3: Maybe it's it's.

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Speaker 1: Expected to, it's customary to, once you receive twelve thousand dollars,

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Speaker 1: belittle your friend.

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Speaker 3: Who does it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, hey does it? We're wrong not be aware of

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Speaker 1: these cultural norms. I'm you know, you know I'm not

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Speaker 1: aware of a lot. I'm mostly unaware. I'm walking through

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Speaker 1: life unconscious. So reprimand me instantly and vehemiently. If you

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Speaker 1: spank me, spak me mommies, yes, or I guess we

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Speaker 1: will spank me.

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Speaker 2: See I guess the IVS, you know? And then for told,

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Speaker 2: maybe who is? But you know, I'll be your little

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Speaker 2: dirty slut.

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Speaker 3: Kid onto the start. And if mommy's mommies come on.

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Speaker 1: And I already said that, getting lightheaded, she came over

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Speaker 1: with her husband the next day, begging I write her

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Speaker 1: another check, but I refused.

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Speaker 3: Not today. Yeah, give me lost.

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Speaker 1: An argument ensued, and her husband thought that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: being supportive of her like she was throughout my struggles.

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Speaker 3: Doesn't sound like she was being very supportive.

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Speaker 1: You know, show pull up with show the receipts, the

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Speaker 1: forty thousand dollars, check that.

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Speaker 3: Alicia gave that twelve thousand. But then you can tell

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Speaker 3: a lot of mine.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, it's got to be yeah, yeah, you got

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Speaker 1: a one up. Yeah, you can take the her eyes exactly.

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Speaker 1: Let's make this whole world blind, baby Hamma Rabbi. Wow,

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Speaker 1: deep cut, Okay, I guess I know it's a deep

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Speaker 1: historical cut.

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Speaker 3: I know you're gonna have a Robbie that shit.

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Speaker 1: I don't know math, but I know one historical fact

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Speaker 1: that my education you'll get from me.

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Speaker 3: Guys.

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Speaker 1: She left crying and we haven't talked since. Her husband

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Speaker 1: keeps reminding me while also repeatedly calling Carol a toxic snake.

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Speaker 1: No shout out Carol for truth and she's a real one.

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Speaker 1: She's a real one. Of the date of the next cycle,

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Speaker 1: saying that if I don't get the money, then there's

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Speaker 1: no turning back.

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Speaker 2: I think that's the point. You know, Consequences for those

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Speaker 2: actions exactly.

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Speaker 1: Some friends think I'm being oversensitive. It's her money, bro,

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Speaker 1: it's her money. I'm sorry, Like, like she can do

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Speaker 1: with her twelve grand, which she wants to do with

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Speaker 1: that twelve grand. Literally she wants to give it, she

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Speaker 1: can give it, she wants to take it back, she

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Speaker 1: can take it back.

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Speaker 3: Where we go on care? Uh oh? And technically it

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Speaker 3: was never given that's true.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't even like depart I guess she gave her

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Speaker 1: the check, but like it wasn't deposited.

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Speaker 3: Because she was able to cancel it get the funds back.

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Speaker 3: So soup piece of paper.

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Speaker 1: Carol's on my side saying I should tell them to

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Speaker 1: go to hell, but I feel so bad about that.

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Speaker 3: Will feel bad? Op, you don't feel bad.

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Speaker 1: What I've done might just damage our fifteen years of friendship.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, let's let's take a step back. Yeah I

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Speaker 3: was gonna step back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it will have around fifteen years of chet. But like,

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Speaker 2: was that even a good friend to begin with?

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Speaker 1: Also, like we say, with relationships, how do you not

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Speaker 1: know there? There has to have been something in the

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Speaker 1: fifteen years. She must have been talking shit beforehand, yes,

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Speaker 1: but all of all of her toxic snake friends kept it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, under under wraps. You never know, Carol, come and

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Speaker 2: clean for real, she would do.

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Speaker 1: Uh, maybe I shouldn't have canceled the check, but I

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Speaker 1: just felt so offended by what she said about But

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Speaker 1: I just felt so offended by what she said about

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Speaker 1: me and how she basically mocked my unfortunate circumstances.

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Speaker 2: How could you not feel offended this this this lady

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Speaker 2: literally like shatting her for a full paragraph.

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Speaker 3: Such such a like painful part of your life.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, it's like, you know, don't make nine

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Speaker 2: to eleven jokes. She just hit hit us with some

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Speaker 2: like like two nine to elevens, two nine to elevens.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, she's like the equivalent of two nets.

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Speaker 1: Oh you gotta double mistakes, Yeah, double down guys.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Also, isn't it crazy that then the like when I

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Speaker 2: think of nine to eleven, like the two elevens like

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Speaker 2: twin towers.

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Speaker 1: I've literally never realized that before coincidence new conspiracy podcast.

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Speaker 3: Hmmm, I think not al Gore did it on steel beams?

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Speaker 2: Let me this, How can does jet fuel melt seal beams?

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Speaker 3: H I don't even know the conscrire theory correctly, and

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Speaker 3: there's an update.

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Speaker 1: Hello again, Hello again, and thank you so much for

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Speaker 1: all the support and compassion.

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Speaker 3: You're welcome. You're welcome, OPI I could have felt it

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Speaker 3: through the screen.

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Speaker 1: I have decided that I'm going to be putting some

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Speaker 1: distance between me and Alicia Smart laying it down things.

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Speaker 1: Things have been rough lately, and I think that distance

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Speaker 1: is what I need right now, especially for my mental health.

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Speaker 1: After reading some comments here, I now feel less. I

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Speaker 1: now feel less heavy and more relieved.

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Speaker 3: Good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, you don't deserve to feel bad at all.

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Speaker 2: No, you were about to do a really, really nice thing,

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Speaker 2: and seriously your friend was being But.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't change the fact that I'm It doesn't change

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Speaker 1: the fact that I still feel completely and utterly shocked

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Speaker 1: by Alicia's behavior. It's a shame having to come to

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Speaker 1: the realization that even those who are supportive of you the.

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Speaker 3: Most could cause you the most harm. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Often, you know, sometimes it's really the people closest to

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Speaker 2: you that the most.

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Speaker 1: They got, they got the most dirty, they got the

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Speaker 1: dirty deats on you, dirty deats. And by the way,

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Speaker 1: I sent Carol a link to this thread to see

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Speaker 1: what her thoughts are and she just laughed.

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Speaker 2: Dude, Carol's laughing her ass off. Carol is a pig

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Speaker 2: and shit with this stuff. Ca Carol's real, like justice

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Speaker 2: is being served, that's right.

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Speaker 1: She was kind of angry I used her real name,

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Speaker 1: but relieved that I used to throw away myself.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 2: Also, we had no idea Carol was a real name

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Speaker 2: until then, opis.

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Speaker 1: So Carol, come on the show, Carol, come on the show.

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Speaker 1: We've already exposed your name. That was already exposed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Carol, if you're looking at this right now, yes,

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Speaker 2: dm us on Instagram. Yeah, and tell us that you're

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Speaker 2: the real Carol and we'll interview you.

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Speaker 3: That's right. Let's make it happen. Let's do it.

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Speaker 1: If you thought this story was crazy, check out this

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Speaker 1: one right here where the parents stopped paying for IVF

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Speaker 1: because OP was too poor.

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Speaker 3: Check it out here or link in the description.